Original subtitles

COINCOIN AND THE ALIENS EPISODE 4 - APOCALYPSE

See how this has grown? Lovely, huh?

Lovely, huh?

Captain, did you see that?

Mr. Leleu...

-What about Mr. Leleu? -There's two of him!

-huh? -I saw two of him.

They've just gone inside with Mrs. Leleu, their wife.

You're not having a stroke, huh?

There were two of them.

He's the guy who abducted me.

You were abducted, Captain? When?

Carpentier, is your eyesight OK?

He took me away in his car earlier.

To the Nationalists'. I don't know why.

He took you there?

He went off like a shot.

You hung up on me too, didn't you?

-I told you it was an attack. -That was you?

Who else would it be?

But you were sitting next to me!

I can't be in two places at one time.

I don't have the gift of immunity.

There are doubles everywhere?

Of course! That's it!

That's how they invade Earth: they create doubles of people.

Doubles? Are you nuts or what?

Mr. Leleu has a clone,

and you probably do too!

Ah, I have a clown?

The attack on you near the migrant camp... that's what it was.

They cloned you.

That's why we see you everywhere.

Ah, you see me everywhere?

Watch out, Captain!

Hide! What did I tell you?

What is this shit?

You're approaching the house. Shh!

What?

What is this shit, Carpentier?

-You're going over there? -Yeah.

Watch how I take out my clown, Carpentier.

This won't take long.

I wonder what'll happen if I shoot me?

My clown, I mean.

It's me, a bit, isn't it, really?

Even if it's a clown.

A clone, Captain, a clone!

Hey! What is this? Get outta here!

You're in danger!

Go on, get lost, would you! Police!

They're clowns, look.

They're mainly Blacks, actually.

Off we go, Carpentier!

This is an emergency.

With all that racket you're making,

they know we're here now!

Well, it's a declaration of war.

The apocalypse is the apocalypse.

Up there!

Up there!

Mr. Leleu!

Don't move!

It's OK now!

Go on!

No, it's too dangerous.

No!

No!

Your clone is standing there!

Did you see that, Carpentier?

Fuck, your clone!

Your clone!

He's identical to you!

The apocalypse!

I never saw this coming.

I never thought I'd be here arresting zombies!

We've gotta catch all these aliens!

Do you think they're everywhere?

I reckon there's a huge swarm of 'em.

You're not an alien, are you?

Your own clown?

Captain, you're starting to scare me.

How do we know?

Who says you're not an alien

and the real you is... huh?

OK, Carpentier!

That's enough.

This is gonna drive us mad.

What the fuck are you doing there?

Police!

Move on!

You're in danger! Move it!

Where do you think you are, Coincoin? Don't whistle!

I whistle so you know I'm here.

Knock on the door, my dad won't eat you!

It's just a habit.

What do you want, Coin?

-Nothing, just to see you. -Well, I'm here.

Fuck, we're not married! Just because we did it...

Look how they've changed you.

I can't, Coin.

You're busy, sweetheart?

I'm always busy.

Here, there... Girls are like that.

What are you doing here?

What's going on?

Check this out, Coincoin!

Fuck, that hurt!

Oh well...

There's weird shit going on at the campsite.

Like what, Coincoin?

I don't know, but all the people there are weird.

You've gotta be nuts to camp on a campsite.

No, but you ain't seen their faces, they're...

-I ain't joking, fatso! -I'm just joking, Coincoin.

Go and look at their faces. See if you laugh then!

Fucking black eyes! Like zombies!

What did I tell you!

We need to get Jenny.

No, I've got the tokens, Coincoin!

No, come on! We can't leave Jenny in there!

Move it!

Captain?

Captain! Are you asleep?

-What? What is this shit? -The aliens!

The aliens! They'll see us!

-Are you crazy? -Dammit!

What the fuck's going on here?

The aliens!

They'll see us!

That's true, I forgot about them!

You even forgot about your clone, sir.

Yeah, I forgot about my clown.

I forgot the whole thing.

What do we do, sir?

One of two things, Carpentier.

What?

That's all.

Stop, stop! Stop here!

Weird stuff's going on at the campsite!

What the fuck are you doing here?

Hide!

Quick! Come on!

Damn derelicts! Lie down!

Is this the police station? There are weirdos at the campsite.

When you need the police, we're here.

And no scarpering.

What's going on, sir?

Probably what you've already seen at the campsite.

This is hardcore. Keep your head down or they'll see us.

Your girlfriend?

Pretty little thing.

Do you have your keys?

Of course I've got my keys, Maurice!

Have I ever forgotten them?

Well, I have mine, anyway.

I made sure I took them.

It's always better to have duplicates.

Like I always say,

two are always better than one.

What about the garage?

Ah, shit!

I didn't buy an automatic door to make it manual!

What is this shit?

Stop driving me up the wall, Maurice!

Even if it's automatic, you need this.

It's automatic, but you still need a thingy.

They left right under our noses!

With my clown.

This is really weird.

-What's going on here? -Where is this place?

Look, kids, this is top secret.

Listen,

forget what you saw.

Did we just see you leave in a car, sir?

-Have you split into two? -OK, first of all,

that's not me.

That's my clown.

Second...

-This shit's so cool! -Where are we?

Get lost, get out of my sight.

Carpentier, get rid of 'em!

Police!

Go on! Get lost!

Geez! These kids!

They're just kids.

Exactly, they're kids.

We're fucked with them around!

There's nothing worse than kids!

Progress is not inedible, Carpentier.

Because of them, we missed our clowns.

We might say that they got away from under our noses, Captain.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

Now you've seen your clone, sir.

That's what's upset me the most.

Can you imagine seeing yourself as I see you now?

Man to man?

I wouldn't dare to, Captain.

I can tell you, Carpentier,

there are no words.

It's like seeing oblivion.

Oblivion?

Exactly, Carpentier, oblivion!

It's a thing you can't even imagine.

Because it just doesn't exist.

It's the apocalypse, Carpentier.

We've reached the end of time.

Seriously!

Your clown doesn't just turn up for no reason.

Oblivion's here, Carpentier.

-From space? -Yeah, of course, Carpentier!

Where else?

Everything, you, me, him...

-It's just gas. -Gas?

It's the aliens, Carpentier.

They've come, so it's the end.

It's oblivion.

I'm telling you.

This is like the planet's asshole.

They're there! Let's chase 'em!

Look at that scooter there, Carpentier.

They don't know they're risking their lives.

The rules of the road, for fuck's sake!

We lost them not even five minutes ago,

and they're back again!

We'll follow 'em, Carpentier.

Right, shall we chase them?

-Let's do it. -Step on it!

Have you lost your fucking mind?

Captain...

The Leleus...

These kids were following our friends:

Mr. and Mrs. and so on.

-And who? -And so on.

What are they doing?

Maybe they're after our dead.

What's he saying? Hey you, you're coming with us!

Take it easy! Honestly!

They've come for our dead. Where are we, anyway?

Honestly!

Why not bring 'em back to life too!

While we're here, huh?

Captain.

Captain!

What, Roger?

You're not gonna shoot me.

I'm Roger.

You're not gonna keep pussyfooting around, are you?

What the fuck are you doing here?

It's the apocalypse, Roger.

Ah! The apocalypse, I knew it.

Why the apocalypse?

Huh? Why now? Why here?

Why not, huh?

Yeah, why not.

That's for sure.

It's strange seeing doubles everywhere, huh?

It's well done, though.

Huh, Roger? It's well done, huh?

Ah, Captain!

-Have you managed to arrest him? -No, I'm here!

See that, Carpentier?

That animal's such a liar!

This is crazy.

You look so alike that you'd think he's you.

Call Forensics. We need to know what's inside him.

I'll catch the others before they leave.

OK, the fun's over.

We know how to subdue extraterrestrials!

Get up!

Hey! It's me, Carpentier!

Take a look!

Police, watch out!

I'm the right one, OK?

You let my clown get away!

-No! -Yes, you did!

Smart ass!

You missed 'em again.

Found anything?

It's the grave of the girl who got eaten by pigs three years ago.

The Terrier girl, remember? The singer.

-The singer who sang songs? -Yes.

Ah! Found anything?

Nothing, Captain.

You sure?

Sure. Not a soul.

-What? -Not a soul, Captain!

Shit, we've got the living dead on our hands!

-And it's a girl. -Do you think they came for her?

You saw there was one extra person, right?

She must have come from here.

Had to be from here.

The apocalypse...

Isn't this about the dead coming back to life, Captain?

This is about the end of time.

The end of everything.

The living, the dead, the police.

It's all finished.

-Get it? -So, it's the end, right?

You can see we've had it, huh, Carpentier?

We don't even know where or who we are.

And you think I'm that clown.

You don't even recognize me.

I can't keep track of myself either.

And now the dead are alive.

And the police can't do a thing.

It's getting ridiculous, huh?

Huh, Carpentier?

And that kid, Coincoin, is driving without a license.

Migrants migrating,

singers singing...

Pigs, my clown...

Huh? My brother-in-law doesn't even recognize me.

Captain... you're not the captain!

Carpentier, have you gone mad?

Fuck it!

You've gone crazy!

Hey! It's me, Carpentier!

Heaven above... Oh fuck!

It's all a load of shit! I don't believe it. It's an act!

They're wanna make us think that...

it's bullshit. Understand?

Make us think what, fatso?

That it's all true, when it's fake, get it?

Do you get it?

It's fucked up.

That it's true when it's fake!

Stop shouting!

Shit! What is that?

Fuck! Look!

Is it Halloween or what?

What is this? Mardi Gras?

Fuck, that costume is totally stupid, the make-up too.

Looks like Aurélie, Eve's sister.

But she's dead!

Isn't that Eve?

-It's Eve! -Yeah.

Aurélie!

What?

Aurélie!

Oh fuck...

What's the fuck is going on now?

-The living dead! -What's going on?

It's the living dead, sir. Go and look!

What?

-She's the living dead! -Living dead? What?

-She's the living dead, sir! -Aurélie!

The living dead?

The living dead, sir, go and look inside!

OK, let's go.

Go and look!

-She's the living dead! Go and see! -Aurélie!

The living dead!

Captain, what do we do when we see it?

We can't shoot a spirit; it's already dead.

If it's the living dead, then half of it is still alive.

Why do you think it came back?

Why do the dead return, Carpentier?

Beats me...

Whoa!

A zombie...

Zombie zombie!

Carpentier! My clown!

Huh?

What the fuck is going on?

Cut the bullshit!

Carpentier, that's my clown!

Carpentier, it's me, dammit!

The clown is next to you!

This is getting ridiculous! It's never-ending!

Hey, Carpentier, it's me!

Carpentier! It's me, dammit!

Huh?

That is you

Because I knew

That is you

Because I knew

That is you

Because I knew

That is you

'Cause I knew

That is you

'Cause I knew

That is you

'Cause I knew

That is you

That is you

Because I knew

That is you...

It's the end, Carpentier!

It's the apocalypse!

Subtitling: Hiventy