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1
00:00:10,866 --> 00:00:13,766
(sultry music)
2
00:00:13,866 --> 00:00:20,833
♪ ♪
3
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:35,400
(bell dings)
4
00:00:35,966 --> 00:00:38,866
(trippy music)
5
00:00:38,966 --> 00:00:43,633
♪ ♪
6
00:00:46,166 --> 00:00:47,700
I gottask...
7
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,033
because I'm your mother
and I care about you.
8
00:00:49,133 --> 00:00:50,033
Oh, Mom‐‐
9
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,133
Are you being bullied
by the older boys?
10
00:00:52,233 --> 00:00:53,133
Mom.
11
00:00:53,233 --> 00:00:55,433
No.
Do you see how big I am?
12
00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:56,466
You're huge.
13
00:00:56,566 --> 00:00:58,333
But I saw you leave
the car the other day,
14
00:00:58,433 --> 00:00:59,900
and they all yelled, "Squid."
15
00:01:01,633 --> 00:01:03,966
‐(sighs) I don't wanna‐‐
‐What's "squid"?
16
00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:06,866
‐I'm here for you.
‐Squid's a sign of dominance.
17
00:01:06,966 --> 00:01:08,933
‐What does that mean?
‐Mom!
18
00:01:09,033 --> 00:01:10,400
Are you thick?
19
00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:12,733
A squid is a symbol
of great power and dominance.
20
00:01:12,833 --> 00:01:14,600
Ah‐‐Mom, I'm the bully.
21
00:01:15,366 --> 00:01:16,366
That's why they call me squid.
22
00:01:16,466 --> 00:01:17,533
You wouldn't dare be a bully.
23
00:01:17,633 --> 00:01:19,166
Mom, that's why
I've been training
24
00:01:19,266 --> 00:01:20,866
and I've gotten so big
in the past week and a half.
25
00:01:20,966 --> 00:01:22,833
You punch kids in the belly?
26
00:01:22,933 --> 00:01:24,933
Yeah.
And in their thighs.
27
00:01:26,333 --> 00:01:28,466
Back in the day,
I ran the girls.
28
00:01:28,566 --> 00:01:30,433
‐I ran them.
‐Oh, my God.
29
00:01:30,533 --> 00:01:32,033
They might as well have had
chains around their neck
30
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:33,900
with leashes attached
to my hand.
31
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,333
‐Did they have that?
‐Yes.
32
00:01:35,433 --> 00:01:37,600
‐Oh, God. Mom.
‐Well, they might as well have.
33
00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:39,233
Well, did they have it or
did they‐‐or is that just‐‐
34
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,466
‐Well, they might as well have.
‐SON: So that, you‐‐
35
00:01:41,566 --> 00:01:43,133
did you never put chains
around their necks, Mom?
36
00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:44,366
They might as well have!
37
00:01:44,466 --> 00:01:46,900
TOMMY GENESIS: ♪ Bad boy,you gotta run that ♪
38
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,733
♪ Run it back, baby,why you got that gun ♪
39
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:54,300
DR. EVELYN: Okay, um, um, um,
digging something.
40
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:55,933
Uh, hoeing.
41
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:57,966
Hoe? Hoe.
42
00:01:58,066 --> 00:01:59,666
Uh, dialing on the phone.
43
00:01:59,766 --> 00:02:00,933
That's an area code.
44
00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:04,200
Hoe, area code.
45
00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:05,666
Chris "Ludacris" Bridges?
46
00:02:05,766 --> 00:02:07,166
‐Yes! Yes!
‐ALL: Oh!
47
00:02:07,266 --> 00:02:09,366
‐Just in time!
‐Just in time!
48
00:02:09,466 --> 00:02:11,633
‐(laughter)
‐Just in time!
‐I can't believe it!
49
00:02:11,733 --> 00:02:14,133
That was great.
Okay, Tim, you're up, mate.
50
00:02:14,233 --> 00:02:17,100
‐All right, Tim, come on.
‐Duties mate. Don't let us down.
51
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,600
Don't let us down.
52
00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:20,100
‐TIM: It's easy.
‐Okay, you ready?
53
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,766
Okay, okay.
54
00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:24,200
Coffee grinder, crank.
55
00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:25,833
No, he's saying it's a film.
56
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,866
‐Oh, cocaine? Blow.‐Patch Adams.
57
00:02:28,966 --> 00:02:31,033
No, no, tapping your nose means
you're in the right direction.
58
00:02:31,133 --> 00:02:33,033
‐Oh, Robin Williams!
‐No, so it's a film.
59
00:02:33,133 --> 00:02:34,533
No, you can't speak!
That's cheating!
60
00:02:34,633 --> 00:02:35,700
‐TIM: Okay.
‐DR. EVELYN: She's right.
61
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,000
BRADEN:
Okay, uh...
62
00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:38,033
(laughter)
63
00:02:38,133 --> 00:02:41,400
Okay, it's a film, one word.
64
00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:43,433
‐Um... (groans)
‐Mr. Chompy.
65
00:02:43,533 --> 00:02:46,300
No.
(stammering)
66
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,500
Okay, is it
a shark‐related film?
67
00:02:48,666 --> 00:02:49,466
‐Deep Blue Sea.
‐One word.
68
00:02:49,566 --> 00:02:51,333
‐Flubber!
‐About a shark.
69
00:02:51,433 --> 00:02:53,033
‐With Robin Williams?
‐No, just a shark, mate.
70
00:02:53,133 --> 00:02:54,866
‐"Shark Mate"!
‐That's not a film.
71
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:56,900
Well, it should be‐‐
about a shark playing chess.
72
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,033
‐(laughter)
‐Now, that'd write itself.
73
00:02:59,133 --> 00:03:00,966
Can you imagine it hitting
the little thing?
74
00:03:01,066 --> 00:03:02,000
Come on!
75
00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:04,333
Okay, yep, uh...
Shark Tale!
76
00:03:04,433 --> 00:03:05,700
No, that's two words.
77
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:07,500
No, it's not. It's one.
They just capitalize the T.
78
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:08,866
No, it's two words.
79
00:03:08,966 --> 00:03:10,100
DR. EVELYN:
I think he's right.
80
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:11,866
I can just picture the big T
on the poster.
81
00:03:11,966 --> 00:03:13,366
‐You're both nuts.
‐Okay, 20 bucks.
82
00:03:13,466 --> 00:03:14,666
‐KENNETH: Yep, you're on.
‐20 bucks.
83
00:03:14,766 --> 00:03:16,133
‐I'm gonna Google it.
‐BOTH: Yep, Google it.
84
00:03:16,233 --> 00:03:18,433
‐Oh, time's up.
‐It was Jaws!
85
00:03:18,533 --> 00:03:20,133
You stupid idiots!
86
00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:21,933
Jaws?
Why didn't you just go...
87
00:03:22,033 --> 00:03:23,333
♪ Dun‐nuh, dun‐nuh, dun‐nuh ♪
88
00:03:23,433 --> 00:03:25,500
Because
that's making a sound.
89
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:26,966
Okay, why didn't
you just go...
90
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,100
Like you're doing
the iconic score?
91
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:31,200
Yeah, right.
Yeah, fuck me.
92
00:03:31,300 --> 00:03:33,833
Why didn't I think to go...
93
00:03:33,933 --> 00:03:35,333
‐Jaws.‐Jaws.
94
00:03:35,433 --> 00:03:36,333
Two words.
95
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:38,766
‐ALL: Oh!
‐(laughter)
96
00:03:38,866 --> 00:03:40,166
‐KENNETH: Yes!
‐BRADEN: Let me see it.
97
00:03:40,266 --> 00:03:43,000
‐Oh, come on.
‐Let me see it.
98
00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:44,866
MALE NARRATOR:Since the dawn of time,
99
00:03:44,966 --> 00:03:48,333
sharks have ruled the seas.
100
00:03:48,433 --> 00:03:50,333
Now two men
101
00:03:50,433 --> 00:03:53,700
will fightto take their kingdom...
102
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,200
by force.
103
00:03:57,066 --> 00:03:59,700
All right, everyone.
Okay.
104
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:03,033
So, uh, we've just gotten word
from our email department
105
00:04:03,133 --> 00:04:06,033
about some
pretty exciting news.
106
00:04:06,133 --> 00:04:08,033
(imitates drumroll)
107
00:04:08,133 --> 00:04:09,933
We're gonna be doing
a live interview
108
00:04:10,033 --> 00:04:12,266
with Gale Gentry
on The Showdown.
109
00:04:14,033 --> 00:04:15,766
‐Oh, my God.
‐The Showdown.
110
00:04:15,866 --> 00:04:17,033
‐Gale Gentry...
‐That's terrific.
111
00:04:17,133 --> 00:04:18,066
That‐‐amazing.
112
00:04:18,166 --> 00:04:20,333
They're gonna let you
on the news?
113
00:04:20,433 --> 00:04:23,900
Yeah, just to talk about the
importance of shark domination.
114
00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:26,766
TIM:I am a little surprised.
115
00:04:26,866 --> 00:04:29,233
Like, I don't watcha lot of these new shows,
116
00:04:29,333 --> 00:04:31,766
but it just kind of feels...
117
00:04:31,866 --> 00:04:33,200
strange to use it as a forum
118
00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:36,933
to normalize
this kind of thing.
119
00:04:37,033 --> 00:04:38,100
I don't know.
(sighs)
120
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,600
Maybe I'm living
in a bubble, though.
121
00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:42,100
You know, obviously,
122
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:45,200
it's got me a bit nervous
and excited
123
00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:47,033
to be on a national program,
124
00:04:47,133 --> 00:04:51,866
but I live by the words
that my Uncle Jared once said,
125
00:04:51,966 --> 00:04:54,700
which are, "It is not
about what you say.
126
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,900
It's about what you're wearing
when you're saying it."
127
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:00,933
‐Oh.
‐Look at this.
128
00:05:01,033 --> 00:05:02,766
Look at this, man.
Check it out.
129
00:05:02,866 --> 00:05:04,033
Oh, nice.
130
00:05:04,133 --> 00:05:06,200
I was rifling through
Tim's shit, and I found this.
131
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:07,966
It's gonna be so perfect
for today.
132
00:05:08,066 --> 00:05:09,966
Makes me feel like John Wayne.
Look...
133
00:05:10,066 --> 00:05:11,766
(imitating John Wayne poorly)
Howdy, partner.
134
00:05:11,866 --> 00:05:13,800
(laughing)
135
00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:15,566
Uh, I‐I'm an American.
136
00:05:15,666 --> 00:05:18,466
Get your dirty hands
off my machine gun.
137
00:05:18,566 --> 00:05:20,633
(laughter)
138
00:05:20,733 --> 00:05:22,866
Give me a basket of chicken
139
00:05:22,966 --> 00:05:25,866
and make me more obese
than God intended.
140
00:05:25,966 --> 00:05:27,133
(laughter)
141
00:05:27,233 --> 00:05:28,333
(growls goofily)
142
00:05:28,433 --> 00:05:31,233
(American accent)
I like custard on my pancakes.
143
00:05:31,333 --> 00:05:33,866
(laughter)
144
00:05:33,966 --> 00:05:36,133
What are you two fellas
yabbering on about?
145
00:05:36,233 --> 00:05:38,033
We're just talking American.
146
00:05:38,133 --> 00:05:39,933
‐DR. EVELYN: Oh! Well, then...
‐Yeah.
147
00:05:40,033 --> 00:05:41,866
(American accent)
I'll take an awesome order
148
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:43,200
of, like, cherry tomatoes
149
00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:46,233
and, like, a vat
of pig lard.
150
00:05:46,333 --> 00:05:48,433
‐(laughter)
‐That was good.
151
00:05:48,533 --> 00:05:51,033
(American accent)
I like big butts!
152
00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:52,733
‐(laughter)
‐BRADEN: Oh, yeah!
153
00:05:52,833 --> 00:05:56,066
Throw another shrimp
on the barbie, mate.
154
00:05:56,166 --> 00:05:57,866
What on earth
are you talking about?
155
00:05:57,966 --> 00:05:59,033
That's Australian.
156
00:05:59,133 --> 00:06:00,866
(normal voice)
No, when I was in America,
157
00:06:00,966 --> 00:06:01,933
they were always
saying it to me.
158
00:06:02,033 --> 00:06:03,100
They fucking love shrimp.
159
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:04,933
BRADEN: They do.
They do like shrimp.
160
00:06:05,033 --> 00:06:06,433
Hey, is that my jacket?
161
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,800
KITTY: (normal voice)
No, no, no, no, it's like...
162
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:10,566
(American accent) Hey,
shitbird, is that my jacket?
163
00:06:10,666 --> 00:06:11,933
(laughter)
164
00:06:12,033 --> 00:06:13,966
All right, hey, shitbird,
is that my jacket?
165
00:06:14,066 --> 00:06:16,833
No, this one is mine.
166
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,933
‐You got the same one?
‐Yeah, that‐‐that one.
167
00:06:21,033 --> 00:06:23,033
(American accent) My name's
Tim, and I got titties.
168
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,566
(laughter)
169
00:06:25,666 --> 00:06:28,466
♪ ♪
170
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,100
You did this?
171
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,433
This‐‐this is some bullshit.
(chuckles)
172
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:41,666
No, no, no, no.
Listen again.
173
00:06:41,766 --> 00:06:42,966
(groans)
174
00:06:43,066 --> 00:06:45,033
(electronic music)
175
00:06:45,133 --> 00:06:46,466
MAN:I love you, 56.
176
00:06:46,566 --> 00:06:47,766
(phone dialing)
177
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,566
One, two, three, four.
178
00:06:49,666 --> 00:06:53,500
♪ I love you, 56,I love you, 56 ♪
179
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:54,866
♪ I love you, 56 ♪
180
00:06:54,966 --> 00:06:57,700
‐♪ I love you, 56 ♪‐(Internet modem dialing)
181
00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,666
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
182
00:06:59,766 --> 00:07:01,500
♪ I do ♪
183
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,700
♪ Love you ♪
184
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:05,066
♪ 56 ♪
185
00:07:05,166 --> 00:07:09,666
♪ ♪
186
00:07:12,033 --> 00:07:13,933
(unsettling electronic beat)
187
00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:15,500
♪ ♪
188
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:16,933
MAN: ♪ G‐g‐g‐goodwork, Charlie ♪
189
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,433
MAN: Any questionsabout the material?
190
00:07:21,533 --> 00:07:23,733
Um, well, I mean, there's
so many screen directions.
191
00:07:23,833 --> 00:07:25,900
Um...do you want me
to act that out, actually?
192
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,566
MAN:
Definitely, yes.
193
00:07:27,666 --> 00:07:29,833
Definitely act out
all the stage directions.
194
00:07:29,933 --> 00:07:32,733
The director really wants
to see you going for it.
195
00:07:34,633 --> 00:07:35,600
Okay.
196
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,666
(breathing heavily)
There.
197
00:07:39,766 --> 00:07:41,100
We'll be safe here
till morning.
198
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:42,633
Heather...
199
00:07:42,733 --> 00:07:43,966
are you okay?
200
00:07:44,066 --> 00:07:46,566
MAN (flatly): The aliens‐‐our
bullets didn't even hurt them.
201
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:47,700
How can we win this war?
202
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,566
We can do anything...
203
00:07:49,666 --> 00:07:50,900
if we do it together.
204
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,366
(breathing heavily)
205
00:07:53,466 --> 00:07:55,166
MAN:
Wait, Striker, we can't.
206
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:57,366
You know love
has been outlawed.
207
00:07:57,466 --> 00:07:59,500
Then lock me up.
208
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:00,800
(breathing heavily)
209
00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:02,733
MAN: (flatly)
Oh, Striker.
210
00:08:02,833 --> 00:08:04,033
Oh, Striker.
211
00:08:08,733 --> 00:08:10,666
(moans)
212
00:08:14,066 --> 00:08:16,633
(grunts)
213
00:08:16,733 --> 00:08:17,900
Are you okay?
214
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,033
MAN:
Yeah.
215
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,833
(grunting)
216
00:08:23,933 --> 00:08:25,033
MAN:
Okay, cut.
217
00:08:25,133 --> 00:08:27,733
Was that all the sex?
218
00:08:27,833 --> 00:08:29,733
We need this to be really
grounded and real.
219
00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:31,500
That seemed too short.
220
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,566
Like, go‐‐go longer
in the‐‐in the‐‐
221
00:08:33,666 --> 00:08:34,733
MAN:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
222
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:38,666
And action.
223
00:08:38,766 --> 00:08:41,733
(breathing heavily)
224
00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:47,566
(moans)
225
00:08:47,666 --> 00:08:48,733
MAN:
Mm‐hmm.
226
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:53,366
(grunting)
227
00:08:59,933 --> 00:09:03,300
(moaning loudly)
228
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,800
MAN:
And cut.
229
00:09:04,900 --> 00:09:07,600
(grunts, breathing heavily)
230
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:08,633
MAN:
There you go.
231
00:09:08,733 --> 00:09:10,733
Thanks for coming in, Finn.
232
00:09:10,833 --> 00:09:13,800
Okay, um, uh,
I could try it again or...
233
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:17,633
MAN:
No.
234
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:19,666
Okay.
235
00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:24,000
TOMMY GENESIS: ♪ Touch it,work it, you can date it ♪
236
00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:25,700
♪ If you like it,you can name it ♪
237
00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:28,400
(dramatic music)
238
00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:35,400
♪ ♪
239
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:38,633
I'm Gale Gentry,
and this is The Showdown.
240
00:09:38,733 --> 00:09:40,733
Today's topic
is rather unusual‐‐
241
00:09:40,833 --> 00:09:42,466
bestiality.
242
00:09:42,566 --> 00:09:45,566
Its rise in popularity
a disturbing trend,
243
00:09:45,666 --> 00:09:48,366
or could we be looking
at the new normal?
244
00:09:48,466 --> 00:09:50,300
Joining us
in the conversation today,
245
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,533
animal rights activist
Karen Michaels...
246
00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:54,233
Hello, Gale.
247
00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:56,466
American creator
of the bestiality website,
248
00:09:56,566 --> 00:09:59,066
Beast Reality,
Mr. Art Peterson.
249
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:01,566
Thanks for having me, Gale.
Proud to be here.
250
00:10:01,666 --> 00:10:04,566
And, finally, two
extreme‐sports enthusiasts
251
00:10:04,666 --> 00:10:08,333
who have sex with sharks as
a measure of gamesmanship.
252
00:10:08,433 --> 00:10:10,500
Please welcome Kenneth
and Braden Rickenbacker.
253
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:11,666
‐Hello, Gale.
‐Gale.
254
00:10:11,766 --> 00:10:14,400
Mr. Peterson, if I could take
it back to you.
255
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:17,400
Now, you claim
that this type of behavior
256
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:19,600
is on the precipice
of the mainstream.
257
00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:21,566
How has living in exile
258
00:10:21,666 --> 00:10:24,566
hindered your ability to get
your bestiality message across?
259
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,500
Well, it's obviously been
difficult, Gale,
260
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,266
but I'd like to thank
the Philippines
261
00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:30,400
for providing
a regulation‐free,
262
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,666
animal‐rich sanctuary
that's so badly needed
263
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:34,266
in the rest of the world.
264
00:10:34,366 --> 00:10:35,533
Okay, Karen.
265
00:10:35,633 --> 00:10:37,400
Well, Gale, I have to say
I'm just astonished
266
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:40,333
that I even have to articulate
why this is despicable.
267
00:10:40,433 --> 00:10:41,500
Certainly as an activist,
268
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,500
I believe in strict protection
of animals,
269
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,500
but to have to explain
why we shouldn't engage
270
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:48,233
in sexual acts with them is
completely preposterous to me
271
00:10:48,333 --> 00:10:50,000
and hopefully
the knowledge‐based world.
272
00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:51,400
Hmm.
Uh, Kenneth and Braden.
273
00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:53,333
Yeah, I think we're
in agreement.
274
00:10:53,433 --> 00:10:55,433
The guy is
a pretty unreal pervert
275
00:10:55,533 --> 00:10:57,266
and, frankly,
needs to get help.
276
00:10:57,366 --> 00:10:58,433
I think
you're sick, mate.
277
00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:01,266
But I'm sorry‐‐you support
having sex with sharks.
278
00:11:01,366 --> 00:11:03,233
Yeah, but we're not
ejaculating into them
279
00:11:03,333 --> 00:11:04,400
or anything twisted
like that.
280
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:06,266
I'm sorry.
What's the difference?
281
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:08,266
‐The difference‐‐
‐Yeah, what's the difference?
282
00:11:08,366 --> 00:11:09,366
What's the point?
283
00:11:09,466 --> 00:11:11,500
It's not really
about having sex with sharks.
284
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,866
It's about dominating
the species.
285
00:11:13,966 --> 00:11:16,733
But to be attracted to
or, even worse,
286
00:11:16,833 --> 00:11:20,333
to consummate those relations
is obviously abhorrent.
287
00:11:20,433 --> 00:11:22,666
I mean, I think
I can speak for everyone,
288
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:25,233
with regard
to the bestiality guy,
289
00:11:25,333 --> 00:11:26,400
you're on an island, mate,
290
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:28,733
and I hope to Christ
it's deserted.
291
00:11:28,833 --> 00:11:30,433
That is interesting.
292
00:11:30,533 --> 00:11:31,666
It would appear
that Kenneth and Braden
293
00:11:31,766 --> 00:11:34,333
are now more in line
with you, Karen.
294
00:11:34,433 --> 00:11:36,500
Well, no,
it's not relevant to me
295
00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:37,833
whether or not
they "ejaculate."
296
00:11:37,933 --> 00:11:38,866
From the sounds of it,
297
00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:40,666
they're sexually assaulting
these sharks,
298
00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:42,466
which is somehow
even more sickening.
299
00:11:42,566 --> 00:11:44,233
Yes! I'm sorry
to break in here,
300
00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:46,566
but, Karen, I think we are in
complete alignment on this one.
301
00:11:46,666 --> 00:11:48,666
‐I don't think we are.
‐And [bleep] you, guys!
302
00:11:48,766 --> 00:11:50,666
‐Mr. Peterson, you‐‐
‐Sorry, sorry.
303
00:11:50,766 --> 00:11:52,600
Yeah, but I dare you
to tell that goat
304
00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:54,266
when he's nuzzling my wife
305
00:11:54,366 --> 00:11:56,166
that he doesn't have feelings
for her.
306
00:11:56,266 --> 00:11:57,366
‐(goat bleats)
‐Oh, my God.
307
00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:59,333
Gentlemen, if you could just
explain to me
308
00:11:59,433 --> 00:12:02,066
how this isn't sexual assault
against animals.
309
00:12:02,166 --> 00:12:05,333
How can it be sexual assault?
Again, it's not sexual.
310
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,400
And when we eventually
dominate the shark,
311
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:09,200
it will be considered sport.
312
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:10,433
Uh, wait.
I'm sorry.
313
00:12:10,533 --> 00:12:13,566
Are you saying that you have
not even done this yet?
314
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:15,700
No, not‐‐
315
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:16,833
No, not yet.
316
00:12:16,933 --> 00:12:21,033
Not technically, but we've been
ridiculously close.
317
00:12:21,133 --> 00:12:23,500
(laughing)
Wha‐‐
318
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,200
oh, please, my God!
319
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:27,233
I mean, what kindof charlatans are you?
320
00:12:27,333 --> 00:12:28,666
Why are you even
on this segment?
321
00:12:28,766 --> 00:12:31,566
I thought we were having
a real conversation here.
322
00:12:31,666 --> 00:12:32,833
Oh, piss off!
323
00:12:32,933 --> 00:12:34,066
Uh, Gale, in the future,
324
00:12:34,166 --> 00:12:36,233
I'd love to come back
and debate with real people.
325
00:12:36,333 --> 00:12:37,566
Yeah, not two wack jobs
326
00:12:37,666 --> 00:12:40,533
from
Planet Can't Get the Job Done.
327
00:12:40,633 --> 00:12:41,600
‐Hey!
‐[bleep] off!
328
00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:43,266
Why don't you come here
and say that?
329
00:12:43,366 --> 00:12:44,966
‐Eat [bleep], ass[bleep].
‐GALE: Guys.
330
00:12:45,066 --> 00:12:46,366
BRADEN: Oh, my God,
this is bull[bleep].
331
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,233
‐[bleep] you.
‐Yeah, you piece of [bleep].
332
00:12:48,333 --> 00:12:50,366
‐[bleep] you.
‐Oh, goodness me. Right.
333
00:12:50,466 --> 00:12:52,333
I'm scared now.
I'm shaking in my clogs.
334
00:12:52,433 --> 00:12:54,866
Excuse me, please,
while I have a little milk.
335
00:12:54,966 --> 00:12:56,266
That'll do it for me.
Thank you.
336
00:12:56,366 --> 00:12:57,433
No, no, Karen‐‐
337
00:12:57,533 --> 00:12:59,266
Which I just got directly
from the teat of my lover.
338
00:12:59,366 --> 00:13:01,066
[bleep] you,
you piece of [bleep]
339
00:13:01,166 --> 00:13:02,333
Just hold on a second.
Hold on a second.
340
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:04,666
‐Jim, could you‐‐
‐Great vocabulary, guys.
341
00:13:04,766 --> 00:13:06,066
‐[bleep] you.
‐Piece of [bleep].
342
00:13:06,166 --> 00:13:07,400
Come here!
343
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:09,400
[bleep] you, Aussies!
344
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,200
[bleep] you!
345
00:13:15,333 --> 00:13:17,666
I actually thought
the beginning was pretty good.
346
00:13:17,766 --> 00:13:19,500
Mm, and you know what?
347
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,566
You guys look
really handsome today,
348
00:13:21,666 --> 00:13:23,400
so that's...that's good.
349
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:26,500
They were laughing
at us, mate.
350
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,833
I just wouldn't worry
about it.
351
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,000
Hardly anyone
watches that show, anyway.
352
00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:33,500
Planet Can't Get the Job Done
353
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:38,366
from bestiality‐‐shit‐‐
fucking Art Peterson.
354
00:13:38,466 --> 00:13:40,566
Piece of shit.
(stomps foot)
355
00:13:40,666 --> 00:13:42,233
Okay.
Shit, shit.
356
00:13:42,333 --> 00:13:43,333
Okay.
357
00:13:43,433 --> 00:13:46,233
(door opens, closes)
358
00:13:46,333 --> 00:13:48,333
Fucking bestiality guy!
359
00:13:48,433 --> 00:13:49,333
Shit!
360
00:13:49,433 --> 00:13:51,000
♪ ♪
361
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:56,466
♪ ♪
362
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:01,233
‐WOMAN: Hi, Karen.‐KAREN: Hi. How are you?
363
00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:02,266
WOMAN:
Good. How are you?
364
00:14:02,366 --> 00:14:03,566
Do you have any questions
before we start?
365
00:14:03,666 --> 00:14:05,566
Um, yeah,
so I was actually wondering‐‐
366
00:14:05,666 --> 00:14:08,233
there's obviously a lot of
stage directions in the script,
367
00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:10,233
and I'm assuming
you don't want me to...
368
00:14:10,333 --> 00:14:12,666
WOMAN: Uh, yeah, we want you
to act them out.
369
00:14:12,766 --> 00:14:14,666
Oh, really?
So do act them out?
370
00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:16,733
‐WOMAN: Yeah.
‐So all‐‐all of them?
371
00:14:16,833 --> 00:14:18,000
‐WOMAN: Yeah. Mm‐hmm.
‐All the way through?
372
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:20,733
WOMAN: Don't be afraid
to go too far.
373
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:24,833
Heather, are you okay?
374
00:14:24,933 --> 00:14:26,833
The aliens...
375
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:28,900
our bullets didn't hurt them.
376
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:32,633
(breathes shakily)
How can we win this war?
377
00:14:32,733 --> 00:14:34,366
WOMAN (flatly):
We can do anything...
378
00:14:34,466 --> 00:14:35,900
if we do it together.
379
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:36,900
No.
380
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,133
Wait.
Striker, we can't.
381
00:14:40,766 --> 00:14:42,733
You know love
has been outlawed.
382
00:14:42,833 --> 00:14:44,066
WOMAN (flatly):
Then lock me up.
383
00:14:45,466 --> 00:14:46,866
Oh, Striker.
384
00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:55,266
WOMAN: Great.
Could you try it laying down?
385
00:14:55,366 --> 00:14:57,433
‐Mm‐hmm.
‐WOMAN: Yeah, on your back.
386
00:15:04,933 --> 00:15:07,400
(moans)
387
00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:18,900
Oh, Striker!
388
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,066
WOMAN:
Yep.
389
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:24,266
(grunts)
390
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:28,066
(panting)
391
00:15:30,166 --> 00:15:32,833
WOMAN:
(imitates grunting) Orgasm.
392
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:35,133
(moaning)
393
00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:39,066
WOMAN:
Okay, great.
394
00:15:39,166 --> 00:15:40,666
Do you want to try it again?
395
00:15:40,766 --> 00:15:42,300
Um...
396
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,433
no.
397
00:15:46,266 --> 00:15:47,666
I'm home, Gimpy.
398
00:15:47,766 --> 00:15:49,600
How's my favorite gimp?
399
00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:51,433
(grunting wildly)
400
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:54,666
Don't play that silly game,
pretending you can't talk.
401
00:15:54,766 --> 00:15:57,533
Oh, I'm not meant to talk.
I'm a gimp.
402
00:15:57,633 --> 00:15:59,866
And such a handsome gimp.
403
00:15:59,966 --> 00:16:01,466
I'm not handsome.
404
00:16:01,566 --> 00:16:03,833
I'm ugly!
I'm depraved!
405
00:16:03,933 --> 00:16:06,566
I brought you your favorite.
406
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,533
Oh, really?
Nipple clamps?
407
00:16:08,633 --> 00:16:10,800
Nice cold gelato.
408
00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:12,466
I don't want gelato!
409
00:16:12,566 --> 00:16:13,900
I want maggots!
410
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,666
Well, you can't have
maggots.
411
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:16,966
How come you never beat me?
412
00:16:17,066 --> 00:16:19,433
I want to be beaten.
I'm a gimp.
413
00:16:19,533 --> 00:16:20,766
I'm not gonna beat you.
414
00:16:20,866 --> 00:16:22,900
The gimps next door
get beaten every day.
415
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,166
Well, that's not the way
we do things in our house.
416
00:16:25,266 --> 00:16:27,866
Now, what DVD do you want
to watch tonight?
417
00:16:27,966 --> 00:16:29,600
I don't want DVDs!
418
00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:31,833
I want STDs!
419
00:16:31,933 --> 00:16:34,166
How about Love Actually?
420
00:16:34,266 --> 00:16:35,500
Oh, fuck that!
421
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:37,733
None of that language
in here, Gimpy.
422
00:16:37,833 --> 00:16:39,800
I'll wash your mouth out
with soap.
423
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:41,466
Why stop at soap?
424
00:16:41,566 --> 00:16:42,766
Why not use petrol?
425
00:16:42,866 --> 00:16:44,600
I want to be burned!
426
00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:46,466
No video tonight, then?
427
00:16:46,566 --> 00:16:49,500
Then I guess it's beddy‐byes.
Come and give me a hug.
428
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:50,600
Hmph.
429
00:16:50,700 --> 00:16:51,600
Gimpy...
430
00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:53,666
All right.
431
00:16:53,766 --> 00:16:55,666
Aah!
Bear hug!
432
00:16:55,766 --> 00:16:57,700
Crack my ribs!
433
00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,566
Sweet dreams, Gimpy.
434
00:17:00,666 --> 00:17:03,400
Don't you get it?
435
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,666
I am a gimp.
436
00:17:05,766 --> 00:17:08,733
I want to be tormented!
437
00:17:08,833 --> 00:17:11,200
What do you think
I'm doing now?
438
00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:13,966
(peppy music)
439
00:17:14,066 --> 00:17:15,200
(objects clatter)
440
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:18,066
TOMMY GENESIS: ♪ Hundred badbitches in the city ♪
441
00:17:18,166 --> 00:17:20,566
♪ All the girls,they are so pretty ♪
442
00:17:25,266 --> 00:17:27,233
(groans)
443
00:17:29,433 --> 00:17:31,033
Fuck yourself.
444
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,900
Are you okay?
You seem upset.
445
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,733
(groans)
446
00:17:35,833 --> 00:17:38,466
I'm here whenever you want.
This is your time.
447
00:17:38,566 --> 00:17:41,566
So‐‐so‐‐so stupid.
448
00:17:43,866 --> 00:17:46,266
I‐‐
449
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:48,966
I just got this fucking idiot
of a friend.
450
00:17:49,066 --> 00:17:50,733
He's too‐‐he's too blind
451
00:17:50,833 --> 00:17:53,466
to see that this girl's
sunk her fangs in his neck.
452
00:17:53,566 --> 00:17:56,000
Oh, he's dating someone
you don't like.
453
00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:58,066
Dating?
Yeah, he's in prison.
454
00:17:58,166 --> 00:18:00,033
He's‐‐he's‐‐
he's castrated.
455
00:18:00,133 --> 00:18:02,400
Yeah, you seem pretty upset.
456
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:04,533
Well, he doesn't talk
to me anymore.
457
00:18:04,633 --> 00:18:07,166
Like I fucking give a shit.
Good riddance.
458
00:18:07,266 --> 00:18:08,700
And why doesn't
he talk to you?
459
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:09,933
(sighs)
I don't know.
460
00:18:10,033 --> 00:18:11,933
He thinks
that I made up some shit
461
00:18:12,033 --> 00:18:14,733
about his girlfriend
banging a bunch of guys.
462
00:18:14,833 --> 00:18:18,133
Mm‐hmm, and did you make up
that rumor about her?
463
00:18:20,033 --> 00:18:21,466
Yeah.
464
00:18:21,566 --> 00:18:22,933
That could be true.
465
00:18:23,033 --> 00:18:25,366
She seemed slutty to me.
What do you want?
466
00:18:25,466 --> 00:18:27,366
Well, I can see
you're pretty angry.
467
00:18:27,466 --> 00:18:28,933
Oh, can you?
468
00:18:31,166 --> 00:18:33,600
What a great fucking doctor.
469
00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:34,700
You quack.
470
00:18:38,366 --> 00:18:40,100
How close was this friend?
471
00:18:41,533 --> 00:18:44,100
Yeah, he was close.
He's not anymore.
472
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,766
And how did you meet?
473
00:18:46,866 --> 00:18:48,466
I guess we grew up together.
474
00:18:48,566 --> 00:18:50,900
He lived down the street.
475
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,533
I didn't have
the best family life, you know,
476
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:57,200
so he was always...
477
00:18:57,300 --> 00:18:59,600
kind of there for me...
478
00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:03,233
when, you know, life got...
479
00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:07,066
Tough.
480
00:19:08,966 --> 00:19:09,933
Yeah.
481
00:19:12,533 --> 00:19:15,266
You know, I just...
482
00:19:15,366 --> 00:19:19,000
(mumbles) I just would like her
to know that he...
483
00:19:19,100 --> 00:19:22,266
he's a very good man.
484
00:19:22,366 --> 00:19:24,266
And what do you want him
to know?
485
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:28,333
That he was a good friend...
486
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,433
And...
487
00:19:31,533 --> 00:19:34,100
that I didn't have many.
488
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,366
And I...
489
00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:38,333
I'm thankful.
490
00:19:39,633 --> 00:19:41,533
Well...
491
00:19:41,633 --> 00:19:45,433
I think you've made a lot
of progress today.
492
00:19:47,133 --> 00:19:49,100
Thank you.
493
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,300
MAN:
Sorry.
494
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,233
Uh, you're‐‐you're already,
like, ten minutes over.
495
00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:54,200
Frank...I'm sorry. We're just
gonna be a few more minutes.
496
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:55,533
I'm trying
to take deep breaths,
497
00:19:55,633 --> 00:19:57,533
but is this gonna be, like,
a prorated‐session thing?
498
00:19:57,633 --> 00:19:59,366
Because this is‐‐
I pay for this time.
499
00:19:59,466 --> 00:20:00,533
‐We'll take care of it.
‐Why don't you go home
500
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:03,066
and die alone,
you fucking piece of shit?
501
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:07,200
(light piano music)
502
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:13,833
♪ ♪
503
00:20:15,166 --> 00:20:16,900
♪ ♪
504
00:20:19,766 --> 00:20:22,600
♪ ♪
505
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,900
Okay, let's go guys.
Gather round.
506
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:31,366
Let's take a knee.
507
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,500
Sorry, Braden.
Do you mind if I don't?
508
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,266
I've got bad knees.
509
00:20:36,366 --> 00:20:38,033
Okay.
Can you squat?
510
00:20:38,133 --> 00:20:39,700
‐Not really.
‐Right. Okay.
511
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,166
Yeah, I don't really want
to kneel either.
512
00:20:41,266 --> 00:20:42,300
It is a bit‐‐
it's a bit hard.
513
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,900
Okay, fantastic.
Let's all just stand.
514
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,066
You see that there?
515
00:20:46,166 --> 00:20:49,233
That there is why the world
is laughing at us.
516
00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:50,400
I don't think that's why.
517
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:52,266
Come on, guys.
518
00:20:52,366 --> 00:20:54,600
We got to prove them
wrong today.
519
00:20:54,700 --> 00:20:58,166
Today we are gonna do
the unthinkable.
520
00:20:58,266 --> 00:20:59,600
Hell, yes, we are!
521
00:20:59,700 --> 00:21:03,233
Today we're gonna fuck
a mako shark!
522
00:21:03,333 --> 00:21:04,400
(cheering wildly)
523
00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:06,133
Now, are there any questions?
524
00:21:06,233 --> 00:21:08,233
Yes, um, are you aware
525
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:11,333
of how incredibly sharp
the ventricles on a mako are?
526
00:21:11,433 --> 00:21:12,666
Don't care.
Tim?
527
00:21:12,766 --> 00:21:14,566
Yeah, so we've tried this
on smaller sharks,
528
00:21:14,666 --> 00:21:15,733
and it hasn't worked.
529
00:21:15,833 --> 00:21:17,800
And what's
the bloody question, mate?
530
00:21:17,900 --> 00:21:19,400
Why on Earth
would we do it again?
531
00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:22,566
Because, Tim, the definition
of insanely brave
532
00:21:22,666 --> 00:21:24,600
is doing the same thing
over and over
533
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:26,600
and finally getting
a different result.
534
00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:29,333
BRADEN:
I mean, come on, guys.
535
00:21:29,433 --> 00:21:32,400
This is our mission.
This is why we're here.
536
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:34,666
‐Kenneth.
‐Yes, mate?
537
00:21:34,766 --> 00:21:36,000
(imitating John Wayne poorly)
Let's go
538
00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:38,033
fuck that shark, partner.
539
00:21:38,133 --> 00:21:52,933
(dramatic music)TWO STEPS FROM HELL:Vanquish ♪ ♪
540
00:21:53,033 --> 00:22:08,366
(dramatic music)TWO STEPS FROM HELL:Vanquish ♪ ♪
541
00:22:08,466 --> 00:22:10,800
WOMAN VOCAL:♪ No victory comes ♪
542
00:22:10,900 --> 00:22:15,766
♪ Without a price ♪
543
00:22:15,866 --> 00:22:18,766
♪ Measured defeat ♪
544
00:22:18,866 --> 00:22:22,700
♪ On every side ♪
545
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:29,566
♪ Vanquish ♪
546
00:22:29,666 --> 00:22:31,300
♪ ♪
547
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,500
♪ The battle may be won ♪
548
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:38,533
♪ But war still rages on ♪
549
00:22:38,633 --> 00:22:45,500
♪ Vanquish ♪
550
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,266
♪ ♪
551
00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:50,333
(sustained beep)
552
00:22:54,933 --> 00:23:01,700
♪ Vanquish ♪
553
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:08,733
♪ ♪
554
00:23:10,366 --> 00:23:13,000
(somber music)
555
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:20,066
♪ ♪
556
00:23:32,066 --> 00:23:34,300
I ejaculated in the shark.
557
00:23:37,766 --> 00:23:43,066
♪ ♪
558
00:23:47,033 --> 00:23:48,233
TOMMY GENESIS: ♪ Bad boy,you gotta run that ♪
559
00:23:48,333 --> 00:23:50,700
♪ Run it back, baby,why you got that gun ♪
560
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,666
♪ Bad boy,you gotta run that ♪
561
00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:56,400
♪ Run it back, baby,why you got that gun? ♪
562
00:23:56,500 --> 00:23:59,233
♪ Sometimes you getthe back wet ♪
563
00:23:59,333 --> 00:24:01,733
♪ Big, bad boy,you your father's son ♪
564
00:24:01,833 --> 00:24:04,533
♪ Don't want any, any, any,any, any bad boy ♪
565
00:24:04,633 --> 00:24:06,200
♪ Don't want any, any, any ♪
566
00:24:06,300 --> 00:24:07,400
♪ Any, any, any, any, any ♪
567
00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:09,666
‐♪ Bad boy ♪‐♪ Any, any, any, any, any ♪
568
00:24:09,766 --> 00:24:10,866
♪ Bad boy ♪
569
00:24:10,966 --> 00:24:13,200
♪ Bad, bad,run that, run that ♪
570
00:24:13,300 --> 00:24:16,033
♪ Run it back, back,run that ♪
571
00:24:16,133 --> 00:24:18,800
♪ Bad boy,you gotta run that ♪
572
00:24:18,900 --> 00:24:21,500
♪ Run it back, baby,why you got that gun? ♪
573
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,333
♪ Bad boy,you gotta run that ♪
574
00:24:24,433 --> 00:24:26,300
♪ Run it back, baby,why you got that gun? ♪
575
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,800
‐(clear music)‐CHORUS: ♪ Yes ♪
41318
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