Original subtitles

- Previously, on "below deck"...

- Tonight I want courtney to show you

how to do breakfast pull because you're gonna be

late snacks charter.

- I think I just need to quit.

- I've got your passport... - Oh.

- ...Along with your share of the tip.

- Thank you very much.

- Yachting's not for quitters.

- Get home safe and all the best.

- Bye. - ----Ing hell.

I'm feeling like dog sh--.

[toilet flushing]

- tanner's really sick, abbi's leaving.

I mean, christ, they're dropping like flies.

We can't afford to lose anyone else, or we're ----ed.

- I'm bummed that I can't go out tonight.

I'm sad that tanner's not coming out tonight

because he is so hot.

- Woo!

- No! I don't wanna do this!

I'm ----ing tired of working so hard to get my [bleep] sucked.

[ alarm ringing ]

- oh, my god. What happened last night?

- Morning.

Jesus christ, don't do that to me, girl.

- Oh, my god.

- Oh! Wanna come cuddle?

- It's time to go iron.

- Good morning, lover boy.

- Great. - Good morning, kate.

[ laughs ] - ew.

- We did not hook up last night. You put your tongue in my mouth.

That's all that happened, and let's stop saying it.

- I'm not sure where my head was at when I kissed kate.

- I love you, but not in that way.

- But I know that when there's a few drinks involved,

that wasn't me. That was smashton.

That's the way smashton operates.

I don't know.

- See you later. Get outta here, go away.

- Do you wanna start this side? - That's cool.

- Yeah? - Yeah, whatever side you want.

I'm ready to go this morning. I feel like a new person.

Sleep's exactly what I needed.

Thailand steroids are starting to kick in.

I'm excited to get out and get back to it.

- Here you go, brother.

- I wanna play--

[ laughs ]

- it's a little awkward.

I look at ashton as a brother, and I'm not that kind of family.

- How's everyone feeling today?

- Great, how are you feeling?

- So much better than all of you.

- Nope.

- No way. How was that?

- Eww!

Court, any magic happen?

- Absolutely not.

- He did not. It was a peck.

- You two are cute. - So cute.

- A hundred percent. - Again, never gonna happen.

I don't know how I feel about brian.

I don't know, I suppose I'm a bit picky,

but not really... I mean, yeah, I am.

- Yeah. Absolutely.

- Like, did I cringe or do I wanna kiss him again?

Those are the two options.

- Hey, courtney.

- Katie-boo-boo. - How you feeling?

- Fine. - You look good.

- ♪ boiling water ♪

- you'll go do the master, and you'll get laundry going.

- Perfect.

- Do you guys need anything while I'm up?

- No, thank you.

- Well I was trying to stay inside a little bit longer,

but damn, you guys can't even do that for me.

[ laughs ]

- [groans] oh!

- No!

- Oh, my god, that's so funny. - Ooh!

- Heard you both, uh, locked some lips last night.

- Ah.

- Simone, I'm gonna have you on lates,

so it's gonna be more service than normal.

I'm gonna be earlies, courtney's gonna be middle.

- Omg! Like, thank you!

- What parts of service would you like to work on?

- What do you think I need to work on?

- How are you at opening a bottle of wine?

- Uh...

- I actually really appreciate the fact

that simone is showing initiative.

It's like we're a sports team, and you got somebody who's,

like, "put me in, coach."

they're on the b string, they're not on the a squad.

I don't know sports.

Basically I don't want to crush simone's soul.

Let's go upstairs. - Thanks.

- For [bleep]'s sake, kevin.

♪ put your hand in the boiling water, just burn yourself ♪

right?

- Let's see your skills.

- Um, that step... - Mm-hmm?

- ...Is slightly unnecessary,

because you're just gonna carve the foil off.

- Exactly. Is this okay? - Um, you go under the lip.

- No, but...

- Yep, do it without using the counter.

- Really?

- No. - Okay.

- The fact that simone does not even know

how to open a bottle of wine is a little troubling.

- So like that? - No.

- Her resume says she's worked on yachts for a year.

No one drank on that boat?

- Well, hold on.

It's easiest if you get the point facing down.

- Okay.

- I always start with the first one...

- Yeah, like the point... - ...Just to get it going.

- ...Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And then pull the trigger.

- Mm. - All right.

- Okay. - Now let's do pouring.

- Mm.

- Kate, I need you, ashton, and kevin in the crew mess

for a preference sheet meeting. - Copy for kevin.

- Copy. - Copy.

- See you in a little bit. - Okay.

Most of my yachting experience is in terms of laundry

and, like, doing housekeeping,

so I wish that I could get the time of day

for a full service lesson.

But all I was shown was how to open a bottle of wine.

Which is great, but, like, hello?

That's so annoying.

- Hi. - How we doing?

- Hi, cap. - Good.

- Hi, cap.

- Okay, michael blackton.

He's got his own helicopter charter business.

He met most of his closest friends

while attending the nation's most infamous party school,

florida state.

- I know florida state people.

The only major there is drinking beer.

I don't think there's any employer that's like,

"oh, florida state, wow."

- he and his college pals are all single and ready to party.

And they say that we are not prepared

for what is going to transpire on board.

- I'm only using red solo cups,

because that's what florida state people like.

- Day one, they want lunch on the beach

and a college-style party with garnet and gold decorations.

- And they want jell-o shots, so gross.

- Day two, pirate theme day on the yacht.

And they want us to speak to them in pirate lingo.

And they want you to come up with

another theme dinner of your creation.

- They're gonna party a lot.

- It's gonna be full-on,

and we're gonna be down an individual.

- Fine. - How's tanner doing?

- He's nearly 100 percent, he's good.

- It's imperative that we have him back.

- Yeah. Going into this charter short-handed,

a lot can go wrong.

But being bosun I need to have a calm exterior,

even though inside I'm pretty nervous.

- All right, we're done.

- Bye! - Thanks, cap.

- Hi, it's kate from valor again.

I need a few more things for the next charter.

I need tailgate, college party décor.

- [bleep]

oh, goddamn it.

- Pirate-themed hats, wigs, hooks.

It's very important that you get a pirate hook.

- Yo, you think we're gonna have to wear, like,

pirate hats and eye patches and sh--?

Oh!

- Honestly. - What are you doing?

- I don't know.

- Don't look over here.

- Well, I have to look over there,

because those are my clothes.

There you go.

- Did you know about that-- - I know--I--I--

- did you know about the button? - I was asking about the button.

- Did you know about the button? - Yeah!

- Oh yeah, check this out.

First thing you iron is the collar.

- Ah. - It's really quite simple.

Here's what I need.

You wanna make sure you iron the seams as well.

- You guys, this is an honor and a privilege, to be learning--

- yay! - --From the best.

- Ooh, now we're cookin'.

- Hi.

- Maybe.

- It recoiled into the back of my throat briefly.

- Jesus!

- Oh, shut up.

- Mm!

- Oh, jiminy cricket.

- Brian, when you're ready let's meet on aft deck.

- Ugh, I can't be bothered.

- Let's do this thing. - Let's do it!

- Well, boys, it's just us for this charter,

so we're gonna have to pull through.

- We got this. - I'm excited.

- Should be fun.

- You know, I just want us to get the boat looking

nice and sharp. Let's do it.

- Aw, yeah, boys.

- Where'd these all come from?

- I'm reading what you're writing.

- Sweet.

- Smelling what you're steeping in, you know?

- Sh--, that thing that I hit my knee on...

[bleep] oh, goddamn it.

- I don't know what's going on but it's

all swollen and ----ing sore, man.

- Yeah, you got a nice little bubble.

- My knee is hurting a little bit.

I'm not too sure what's happening with it.

- Simmy-sims. - Hey.

- What happened? - I hit my knee.

- I can still walk on it, still do my job.

I just can't focus 100 percent on what I'm doing.

I hope the pain goes away soon. I just don't need that on deck.

- All crew, all crew, provisions are on the dock.

- I wanna hire day workers just to carry on provisions.

- Thank you. - Woo!

- Yay, florida! - Ugh.

- Ah!

- I love beef jerky. - It's not bull tongue.

- Thank you so much. - Tito's vodka is life.

Oh, god.

- Anyone who says "blank" is life, it's--it's a red flag.

- Attention all crew, 30 minutes until the guests get here.

- All righty, guys, let's start with a good attitude.

- The universe is testing us, I think.

One person down, my knee is starting to hurt.

- "let's see what the boys got."

- this carpet looks fine. Let's go change real quick.

- And I think we're done. - Sweet.

- Attention all crew, attention all crew,

we got about four minutes to show time.

- You look pretty. - No, I don't.

[ humming ]

- gonna knock this one outta the park, brother?

- Yeah.

- Got a lot on your mind?

- And here they come.

- You guys ready for this?

Hope they got drinks waiting for us.

- I need everybody back here now.

- Sims? - Yeah, on my way.

- Let's get ----ed up! - [clears throat]

hey, we're getting lit every night.

- Oh, jesus, really? - Yeah.

- I'm not ready for these guys.

- Oh, they have no idea what's coming for them.

- Coming up...

- Simone, simone... Let me see your left hand.

You're a six and a half.

- She's--she's going for the d---.

- Gross.

[ laughs ]

- you guys ready for this?

- Oh, they have no idea what's coming for them.

- Yeah. - Hi.

- Hi! - Welcome aboard.

- Hello, everybody. Michael. - Captain lee.

- Kelly. - Kelly, my pleasure.

- Hi, welcome aboard. - Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you. - Shaely, so nice to meet you.

- Hi. - Hi, kelly.

- I'm well, how are you? - Good.

- I'm kim, nice to meet you. - Hi, kim, ashton.

Whoa, kimberly's beautiful, patty's beautiful,

kelly's beautiful, shaely's beautiful.

This is gonna be a distracting charter.

I'm a good bosun, I'm a good bosun,

I am a good bosun.

- Welcome aboard valor. - Thank you.

- So glad to have you on board.

We've got a fun few days for you,

so kate is gonna give you a tour of the boat

and then we'll get this party started.

- All right.

- Right this way, guys. Just watch your step right here.

And we'll go to your room first.

- I hope you like your florida state colored leis.

- Oh, they're garnet and gold.

- So this is your master state room.

- Dope. - And your master bathroom.

Your toilet that is remote-controlled.

[ grunts ]

- now we'll go up to your sun deck.

- Oh, yes. - Very cool.

- Ooh!

- And then we have a really nice bunny pad.

- Bunny pad? - Yes.

- Just let me know when they come up

and they're kinda starting to order drinks

and everything, yeah? - Cool beans.

- We'll have lunch on the beach around 2:00.

- Awesome. I would love an old fashioned.

- Okay, sure. - Brian, you're on the bow.

You're gonna be on the stern with me.

- Okay. - All right, let's do this.

Bow to stern, start now. - Copy, cap.

- Pull it in! Come on, hurry up.

- Let's go, brian. - Just keep pulling.

[coughs] - let's go, next one.

- Let's go.

- That's all lines on deck, all lines on deck.

- Headed inside. - Copy.

- Good job, everybody. Well done.

- Thanks, cap.

- Ashton! - Yes?

- I was just wondering when your shirt comes off.

[ laughs ]

- all right, who wants some shots?

- Hello. - Hi.

- Can we just get a vodka shot? - For two?

- Make, like, two extra, just in case--

- uh-huh. - What does he seem like?

- Like he was in a fraternity and,

like, golfs on the weekends.

And he's got, like, that republican haircut.

- He does. - Oh, yeah.

- If you guys don't vote for trump in 2020,

you're never getting invited on a trip again.

- So if you will go down to laundry for a little bit...

- Can I change?

- Yeah, you can change. Thank you.

- Good. - Mm-hmm.

Ooh, where did they go?

- I don't know, you have to go find out.

- Does anyone want a drink?

- Go out there, check there's food that can be cleared,

if there's an empty platter. - Okay.

- Maybe they want a water. - I just wanna see pirates.

I wanna see pirates already. - Pirates!

- How come everyone else's boats aren't this size?

Are they-- - peasants.

- Yeah.

- You know, simone says she wants to improve on service,

but when I say "go check on the guests,"

that doesn't mean just wander around.

She literally did not speak to one of them.

How are they doing? - Good.

- They don't need any drinks or anything?

- Does anyone want a drink?

- All right, let's get into our blues.

- Mm.

- Sure. - Thank you.

[ clears throat ]

- okay, now you're gonna bring it to him,

then look at every guest and say,

"can I get you anything?" - uh-huh--

- "a water, champagne?" - okay.

- We never want them to ask us. - Okay, I see. Thanks.

- Simone, simone-- - here you go.

- All these drinks, I'm gonna be simone-ing

over the toilet tomorrow.

- Omg. Okay.

- You like that one? Was that a good pun?

- Gross.

Everyone else okay?

- Yes. Are you good? - I'm good.

- Yes, she is.

- Eek. That looks pretty gross.

I think you should have an actual bandage, and not that.

- Oh, I love it, I love it.

- Like a band-aid.

You don't know what a band-aid is?

- I'm gonna go change. - Okay.

- What are you putting on it?

- I wanna see those guests-- - super happy.

Like--and drinking.

- I was gonna say super hammered, but okay.

- Stop touching it with dirty fingers.

- Where have all the cowboys gone?

Where have all my polos gone?

- It really surprises me sometimes

how good I am at cooking meat, you know?

- Oh, I thought you were gonna say how good I am.

So we're just gonna do some smokey ribs,

chipotle beans, sweet potatoes.

My mouth's kind of watering now.

- Your hair looks pretty.

Really spent time on that.

- And your face looks well put on.

- "put on?"

- well it normally does, but today, extra.

- Extra. - Yeah.

Is she acting different today?

♪ love is in the air ♪

- oh yeah?

- So you gonna text courtney to marry you, or?

- What the [bleep]?

- Maybe it's just a glow. - A glow.

- That I got from the sun yesterday?

- Yeah, he's the son of someone.

- You better step up, send a gif.

- Aw.

- Yeah.

- Let's get lit.

- Ready to drop the anchor. - All right, cap.

Be on the way to the bar to ready the anchor.

- When do you get to drink?

Once the charter is over, you guys get the next day...

- Oh, yeah. - ...To go hang out and relax?

- Then we have--mm-hmm.

- Simone, simone.

Just wanna help you with the door.

- Thank you, I thought I was hearing things.

- No, it was me. I'm right behind you.

- Here's your drink. - I was bringing my girlfriend,

but we broke up right before the trip.

I found that she was a hooker.

- Oh, my god.

- Come on, let me see your left hand.

What size is your ring finger? - Uh...

- You're a six and a half. - Oh, my god, mike.

- I'm good at that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- All right, on my mark, gimme four shots.

- Copy, cap, four shots.

- And drop.

[ anchor chain rattling ]

- simone, simone.

- Roger that.

- Oh my god, it's so beautiful.

- Oh my god.

- Jesus.

- I'm here trying to be professional...

- Coming up...

- Kate, don't forget the salt and pepper.

- It's on the table.

- Ribs there? - Yes, please.

- No problem. - Thank you.

- Whenever kevin jumps into the service realm,

he's doing it to overpower me.

- Chipotle bean salad for you? - Please.

- Kevin needs to stay in his lane.

- I don't understand ironing. It just re-wrinkled.

Not good.

- Is that a pickle? - Cucumber.

- Aren't cucumbers pickles? - No, I didn't know that.

- You didn't?

- 'sup, bro? - Hi, brian.

- I kind of wanna go over with kate to put the food up.

- Yeah, I'll take you on the initial run.

- Yeah.

- While you set the food up, I'll go back to get the guests.

By the time we get the guests back, then the food's set up.

Does that work? - Yeah.

I wish I did trust kate with serving a beach picnic,

but she's checked out of the stewardessing side of things.

I was just waiting for kate's call.

I'm ready to serve.

That's why I'm doing other stuff.

Let's find kate. - You start on the right.

Oh, wait but they don't have plates.

- You all right? - I'm good.

- Okay. - Thanks very much.

I'm gonna come over. - Really?

Go over and then come back. - You really don't have to.

- No, because I just don't wanna make so much work for you.

- Um, cool. - Yeah.

- Mm-hmm.

- Prosecco for you.

- I think I'm gonna go with whiskey.

- I'll take a refill as well.

- Two of us should get onto the rev

while somebody starts to pack.

- Yay, beach parties.

- ----Ing knee!

- What'd he do to his leg?

- That was actually how hard he fell

for courtney the other night.

- Shots fired!

- What you looking at, shaely?

- Oh. Enjoy the view. - I am, thank you.

- [grunting]

[bleep]

- how's your knee?

- Oh, good. - Heh.

- Oh, you smell delicious. - Mm.

- I just wanna lick you up and down.

- Gang's all here, tito, jack, and jim.

- Here you go. Michael, this is yours.

- Yes, ma'am, thank you.

- You guys seeing this? This is insane.

- Why is this whole ----ing outfit so tight?

- Shaely, looks, he's trying to cool himself off.

- You're gonna do the beach party with me.

I'm gonna go over and set up... - Yeah.

- ...And then you'll come over. - Okay.

- And once all the guests are on the beach,

courtney will go on her break. - Okay.

- I say we just go. - Looking schnazzy.

- Valor, valor, we got kate, kevin, ashton,

and brian off the boat. - Roger that.

- Oh, my god, it's so beautiful.

We have enough to live for a while.

- Do you guys have banana daiquiris?

- Um, I'm not sure. - Or could you make one?

- Okay, I'll try to make one for you.

- You don't have to if you can't, it's fine.

[ grunting ]

- all right, let's hustle.

Hey, it's coming!

- She wants a banana daiquiri.

- It's just a daiquiri with bananas.

- Yeah, but I don't know how to make a daiquiri either.

- Where would you like your gazebos?

- I guess right there.

- Up there in the shade.

- Really?

- We'll do it next to there.

- That's good.

- I just reckon if you go shade here,

and then it's gonna be all shade all the way through there.

- That's fine, kev, let's do all the things you wanna do.

- Yeah, bro, what about you, mate?

- Welcome to my life.

Usually I would like it if a chef would at least show up

at a beach picnic to help carry some dishes and participate.

- Can you guys leave a couple of chairs there?

I just need to plate up on something.

- But kevin is very ocd, which makes everything more difficult.

Can I have the cooler now? - Yeah.

Jesus.

- Here you go. - Thank you so much.

- You're very welcome. - Hey.

- All right, cap, we're coming back to get the guests.

- Roger that, thank you.

- That's a proper beach setup. - Anyway, thank you.

- Fancy. Delicious, too.

[ grunts ]

- sorry. - All right.

- Are you guys ready for us? - I'm ready.

- Oh, man.

- Just gonna do a pumpkin risotto.

- Are you talking about dinner right now?

- Yeah.

- Boats and hos. - Boats and hos?

- Can we wait till we're--

- yeah, I just want your opinion--

- --done building a luxury lunch on a remote island

in thailand that I've never been to

with the guests on their way right now?

- Yeah. - Okay, great.

- Ooh, it's hot. - Yeah, I know.

- I almost fell on my ass.

- Thank you. - Oh, wow.

Oh, look at how beautiful this is.

- Hi, guys, welcome to lunch. - Hi!

- Thank you. - Who needs a drink?

- I'll take a beer.

- Jack and diet, please.

- Anybody else want a corona or a singha?

- I'll do the prosecco today, thanks, kate.

- Sure.

- All right, so we've just got some smokey pork ribs

a chipotle bean and grilled vegetable salad

with some burrata, and then just some grilled lemon chicken.

Kate, don't forget the salt and pepper.

- It's on the table. - Ribs there?

- Yes, please. - No problem.

- Thank you.

- Whenever kevin jumps into the service realm,

he's doing it to overpower me.

- Any chipotle bean salad for you?

- Please.

- Kevin needs to stay in his lane, or he can fully

take over the chief stew job and I'll go take a vacation.

- Is everyone all right for now? - It's perfect.

- Okay, enjoy, you guys. - Thank you for lunch.

- Thank you.

- Is the chicken good? - It's delicious.

- Need a chef all the time.

- Cheers, guys, to an awesome meal.

- Okay, simone, you be on guest service.

- Okie-dokie.

- Oh, you're doing mornings?

- Kate's gonna do mornings,

so I'll be in the middle of the day.

- We'll see. - Bed sheets and everything.

- Of course laundry sucks.

But with these charter guests, I don't really mind.

It's like they're at a frat party,

but they're, like, 40. - Spring break, 2019.

- Spring break, 2019! - Yeah!

- It's pretty sad.

I don't really like ironing, though.

- Who would? - It doesn't work.

- Ashton, ashton, kate. They wanna be picked up now.

- Copy that. - Oh!

- Would you rather go back with the guests to do service

or stay here and pack up the beach?

- I'll pack.

- See you on the boat.

- Bye!

- So what do you think of the guests?

- Who?

- Kim. - Kim is a scorcher, I know.

Like, when she walked-- - whew.

- I was like, "can I please have your legs?"

- jiminy cricket.

- Ooh!

- Oh goodness.

- Coming up...

- She's naughty-naughty.

- I feel like she's gonna have some requests for you tonight.

- [bleep] me.

- What can I help with?

- Tonight is garnet and gold, with beer pong and beer bong.

And with jell-o shots.

- Do you want me to do that now? - Yeah.

These guests want a college theme party, naturally.

Those were the best years of their lives.

- I'm gonna let you be the creative director

of the jell-o shots. I trust your judgment.

Anybody that's still talking about college

peaked in college, and that's embarrassing.

- Booze cruise, what, what. - [scoffs]

- I haven't made jell-o in so long.

- Oh, hey, simone. - Oh, hey, tanner.

- So glad you're back.

- I'm glad to be back.

- You guys can go drown yourselves.

- Simone's back! - Hello!

- You made it. - Yep.

- How's your jell-o coming along?

- It's coming.

- Ashton.

- Everything. I can handle it.

- I have returned.

- So we're all jumping off? - Yeah, of course.

[ all shouting, exclaiming ]

- I want you to go down and have a bit of a break.

- Oh, thank you, mate, my leg is ----ing so sore.

Definitely getting worse, bro, something's wrong.

- Is it? - Yeah.

- His knee is not looking good.

But the end of today I might lose half of my team.

There's a massive difference between being one man down

and being two men down.

Just rest for now, yeah? - All right.

- I haven't had a full-strength deck team this season.

Like, oh, my goodness, I'm exhausted.

- Is there room for me to put these up here,

or do you want me to put them in the--

- I'd rather them downstairs, sorry.

- Okay. It's fine.

- Captain, captain, ash.

Could I have a word with you in the wheelhouse, please?

- Of course.

- Do you want a lint roller? - Yeah, can you give me one?

- Hey, cap, sorry to bother you. - Not a problem.

- Brian banged his knee. It's just been swelling.

I'm a bit worried that it's infected.

- I'll go down and take a look at it.

Now I've gotta come up with a backup plan

in case brian can't work tomorrow.

Christ, I feel like a one-legged man at an ass-kicking contest.

Whatever you need. - All right, thanks, cap.

- All right.

- Kevin, you just let me know when a good time for you is

to discuss dinner. - We can talk about that now.

- Okay, great.

- Start off with pumpkin risotto with seared beef fillets.

- Nice. - And pecorino and corn.

- And is tonight cheesecake? - With chocolate pretzels.

- I'll get you the temperatures on the steak.

- Awful weather here. - It's miserable.

- Hello. - What's up, lady?

- How's it going for you? - It's going good.

- Mm-hmm?

- I think this is the coolest spot we've been to.

- It is.

- It sucks when you're stranded on the boat.

- I know. - I just wanna go explore.

- So how's everyone else doing inside?

- Chilling. - Brian's resting.

- Is his foot okay? - It's his knee.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- I was quite worried when you were sick.

I was like, shame, you might have to go home.

Like, what's wrong?

- You missing home at all? - I miss my gran.

I talk about her all the time, it's so bad.

- I do, too.

Once I graduated college, I was living her

for, like, three years. - Oh, that's so nice.

- Yeah, we became such best friends.

- Aw.

- Just drinking and chain-smoking

and playing cribbage. - Hi, girls.

- Hi. - Hi.

- You treat each experience that you have with them

like you don't want it to be the last one.

- Every time I would say bye to her and start bawling.

Not only does tanner have a perfectly symmetrical,

god-given face...

Oof.

- How old's your gran?

- Ninety-five, and she... - Thank you.

- You're welcome. Anybody else want a water?

- I'm okay, thanks. - Okay.

- ...And she goes, "I'm already ashes,

what would ashes be doing with teeth?"

- simone is exhibiting all the telltale signs

of a yachtie with no experience.

- If I can hear you, the guests can hear you.

This is not your cruise, simone.

I am a little freaked out right now because

tanner and simone are having a conversation on the sundeck,

but I can fully hear simone on bridge deck aft.

Like, the guests are now listening to her life story.

- Can't you wait till you get that old?

Actually, I can wait, but, like, I look forward to it.

- It's like when you have a puppy

and you wanna train it, but you don't wanna kill its spirit.

- Yes, you need to give it house rules.

- This is so pretty, I can watch this all night.

- What you looking at, shaely? - Ashton!

- Simone, change into your blacks, dinner's at 8:30.

[beeping] - timer, timer, timer.

- I've got it. That's the dryer!

- I guess I should probably get dressed.

- I am. That looks perfect. - New york cheesecake.

You wanna try some?

I'll get it to the crew. - Omg.

- ----Ing what's her name, shelly--is it shelly or shaely?

- I think it's shaely, because it's s-h-a-e.

- She's, uh... A naughty-naught.

- I feel like she's gonna have some requests for you tonight.

[bleep] me!

- I hate it here.

- Yes, please.

- Um, yes, please and water.

- Someone likes tanner.

- Ooh. - Wait, what?

- Simone. She does really like you.

- Oh, that's dangerous. - What do you think of her?

- You know, I definitely get along with her the best

and stuff, but it's like [bleep], crushes are tough,

because then it's like you go hook up

with another girl and she's upset, and it's like, ugh.

- Once you commit to that, then it's--

- that's it.

- What can I do, what can I help with?

- Serious?

- Okay. - Thank you.

[ laughs ]

- so simone, it was a beautiful sunset.

- Is that when you were talking to tanner?

- Mm-hmm.

- Because I was serving the guests just below,

and I could hear your voice.

And then it's like I could hear everything you were saying...

- Oh, really?

- ...And but I-- so could the guests.

I was kind of busy making drinks,

so I didn't hear really what it was about.

Should I ask the guests what it was about,

or are you gonna tell me?

- I'm getting very annoyed with simone.

She's very good at playing I wanna learn,

I wanna learn, but then she's just off in her own world.

If you wanted to learn, a little less this,

a little more this.

If there are guests around...

You have to be a little bit careful.

I hear you.

- Coming up...

- Oh. - Oh, my god.

- Oh, no, no, no. No, no.

What the hell are you doing?

Please, please, please don't do that.

- Hey. - How's it going?

- Going good, except I've got another man down.

- How down is he?

- Oh, well, he's just down enough

that he just needs to rest.

- It's eight-----ing-twenty.

- That looks pretty. - This looks like a diaper.

- Perfect. - You're good.

- Cool. - Hey, we're getting lit.

- Yeah!

- We've got guests coming out of their rooms.

- Need about five minutes. - Okay.

- Now during dinner service,

let's keep conversation to a minimum.

- Okay.

- Because the guests can hear us in there.

- Mm-hmm. Cool beans.

[ wolf whistle ] - woo!

- You guys are punctual.

- Kevin, the final two came out.

Courtney, can you go to the galley for service, please?

- Copy.

- Can I get you girls anything to drink?

- Pinot grigio. - Sure.

- Old fashioned please. - Sure.

- It feels nice outside.

- Yeah.

- Beautiful.

I went to culinary school in a little town

called timaru in new zealand at the age of 15.

So I haven't really been around college students before,

and I don't know what they'd eat.

- Getting ready to get lit.

- These charter guests are toasted.

I think they're gonna be impressed with anything.

- I'm trying to keep this station clean.

- Very good.

- What's that? I'm doing very well?

Thank you. - As always.

- Should we do drinking games, never have I ever?

- Are you coming up? - Yeah.

- Cool.

- Thank you. - Evening, guys.

- Thank you. - There he is.

- How are we?

The foam itself, it's like a corn and pecorino cream.

So you're gonna smash that through the risotto.

Pumpkin seeds and pine nuts on top of that,

and then just the beef filet on the side.

- Great. - Thank you.

- Enjoy. - Terrific. Sounds great.

- We appreciate your efforts.

- Yay. - Thanks.

- Oh, my god. - That's really good.

Get lit.

- Let's give this deck a quick rinse.

- Okay.

- Anybody else feeling drained?

- So tired.

- How's the leg?

- Yesterday it was just that area there,

and now it's just getting sore all around here.

- Is it from that cut right there?

- It's more like from there.

- Oh, this is gonna be a pain in my ass.

We're probably gonna have to get a doctor out here.

- Okay. - Get some ice on it.

- All right. Thanks, captain.

- Thank you, love. - You're welcome.

They wanna have shots quickly. - Jell-o shots?

- Like green tea shots with, like, red bull.

Is that cheesecake? - Yeah, crew.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

- Brian? Do you want cheesecake?

- Why?

- Oh, okay. I'm just your nurse.

You know, I'm not certified, I'm just doing my best.

- Okay.

[ humming ]

- what shots are those?

They're delicious.

- Simone, simone, we're ready when you are.

- ♪ once, twice, three times a cheesecake ♪

- come to papa.

- Pardon me. - Oh, my god.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

- Yum, thank you. - Thank you.

- To waking up and not getting pissed on.

- Oh.

- Cheers.

- Yum.

- Yeah, that's not bad at all.

- Probably one of the best cheesecakes I've had.

- So what time are we doing the streaking?

Is that college night? Tonight?

- We have beer pong set up, and then we also have...

- Beer pong, what? - ...A two-story beer bong.

- Lit!

- You wanna go down and change? - Yeah.

- Yeah, let's do it.

- Tanner. - Oh, yeah, dude.

[bleep] yeah!

- Gonna start clearing the table.

- Okay, cool.

- I can--I usually like to do the linens first.

- Okay.

- You got this, bitch! Let's go!

[ screaming ]

- oh!

- Woo! - Hey, hey, hey, woo!

- Hi. It's looking good.

How have you liked being laundry?

- Um...

- Isn't it kinda nice for a change?

- It is nice. Like, I don't think I'd wanna

do it every time, because it would get boring.

- Thank you for doing such a great job.

Let's have you go up, help simone.

- Sure.

- Who's doing a beer bong? - Probably jess.

- Liz, are you gonna do a funnel?

[ belches ] - ah!

- Mary, mother of jesus, please forgive me

for all the sins I'm gonna commit.

- All right, babe, here you go.

- Go ahead. [ laughs ]

- oh... [ screams ]

- coming out of his nose.

- I feel like this is actually pretty dangerous, mike.

- It is. - No. No. No.

What the hell are you doing?

Please, please, please don't do that.

- Am I riding this kayak down by myself?

- I feel like this is actually pretty dangerous, mike.

- It is. - No. No. No.

What the hell are you doing?

- But why'd you [bleep] up my kayak experience?

- Please, please, please don't do that.

What do you think's gonna happen?

The kayak's gonna snap, you're gonna snap--

this does not make sense. You are beyond drunk.

- He's like, hey, you're a ---ing weak ----ing nice guy,

but you said it so proper.

- All right.

At least--at least you got the message.

- Good night. - See you in the morning.

- We'll see you in the morning.

- Simone, I'm going down. - Okie-dokie.

- Fesinator. - Ugh.

Night. - See ya, good night.

[ grunting ]

- oh, got my workout in.

[ groaning, hissing ] ah!

[bleep] man. ----Ing sore.

Ah! Ah!

[bleep]'s sakes.

- I am tired.

- Arr, me hates the mornings.

- Arr, I'll be forever grateful.

- That's good, that's good.

Keep-- - really?

I don't think they ever said "grateful."

- I'm forever blessed to be in your presence.

Yay pirate day.

Is a pirate theme party the most genius, elegant thing?

No, but can I play along with it?

Shivery in me timbers.

Arr.

No wonder captain hook was in a bad mood.

You can't do sh-- with a hook.

- My knee is just getting worse and worse and worse.

[ hissing ]

I couldn't really sleep last night,

but I'm not the type of person that can just lay around

and do nothing, especially me being lead deckhand.

I feel too guilty.

-----Ing worse.

- There are painkillers on board, though.

- Let me see what I've got.

Up until this point, I've kinda just been keeping

a positive mindset about brian's knee.

But I need to start dealing with the fact

that I might lose brian.

- Good morning, mateys.

- Mateys, arr.

- I hope simone gets up soon or whoever's next,

because I could really use a hand.

- Why's that? - Because I only have one.

- Morning, gents.

- Ready to get catcalled today? - Yeah.

- Tan-man. - Oi, oi.

- What can I get you? - Actually, a bloody mary.

- Sure.

- Look how cool that looks, with the light coming through it.

- You like your bloody mary with the chunks.

I'm irish, I'm a leprechaun pirate.

- Arr. - Ashton, ashton, lee.

- Shiver me timbers, the captain is awake.

- Just make sure we're ready to rock and roll at 8:30.

- Copy that. - Captain, captain, kate.

Just a gentle reminder that today is pirate day.

- Totally.

- Oh, we're up.

- We're coming for your booty!

- What was that? - Arr.

- We'll be having fun on this vessel.

- It's 8:30. - That's good, tanner.

- Anchor's in the pocket.

- Yarr, me bones, eh.

- Hello, mate. - Anchor's secure, cap.

- Roger that, we're on our way.

- Hey, ashton, you check out the new suit today?

- Wow.

- She's gonna break his heart by the end of this trip.

- Hello. - Morning, courtney.

- You're looking like a very lame, non-team player.

Look at me, I'm working with a hook,

and this is your last chance at a pirate costume

that you choose. - Worst day of my life.

- After that, I choose.

- Such a bitch.

- You say that like it's a bad thing.

- No, it's not a bad thing.

- It seems like we'll have smooth sailing today, cap.

- Looks like it, as soon as we get outta this traffic.

Swelling go down in his knee at all?

- No, it's gone up.

- Is he off it now? - Yeah, he's resting, cap.

- Tell him if I see his ass up and around, I'll have his ass.

Okay, we should be good.

You have the helm, sir. - I've got the helm.

- Just thought I'd let you know,

I have a new deckhand coming for you today.

- Okay.

- With us so close to being down two hands--

- two men, yeah.

- --I wanna go ahead and get her on board as quickly as possible.

On board a yacht, when you're doing it short-handed,

you run the risk of somebody getting injured,

so it's dangerous.

We just can't continue down this road.

- Do you have a copy of a cv that I can have a look at?

- Oh, you already know it.

It's riley.

- You have to be ----ing kidding me.

- We'll see if she's learned anything.

- Later this season on "below deck"...

[ elephant trumpets ]

- whoa!

- I only have two rules:

Don't embarrass yourself and don't embarrass the boat.

[ shouting, exclaiming ]

seems all of us aren't getting that message.

- There's sometimes about a sunset that makes me so horny.

- Oh, well, that's a bit weird.

- Surprise!

- How you doing? - I'm back, bitches.

Pleasantly surprised, are you?

- I'm not ready for this.

- Shut the [bleep] up. Who the [bleep] are you?

- I'm not gonna allow her to rock the boat

with this happy family we ----ing have.

- Holy [bleep]. He looks better than ashton.

- Yeah, I would be all over that right now.

- I'd [bleep] the sh-- out of brian

to where he doesn't remember who courtney is.

- [crying] - was it my fault?

- It's getting heated, and it is getting heated quickly.

- I went down on simone last night.

- Okay.

- Orange county housewife. - Yay.

- Alexis bellino.

- Oh, boy.

- You'll [bleep] up dinner, you won't.

You'll [bleep] up dinner, you won't.

This could take a while.

- What respect do you have for your ----ing captain?

- Not a lot.

- I was good enough to make you a sh---ton of money,

you ----ing dick.

- Like that's not the way to talk to me.

- Don't come here with your attitude again.

- What I care about going forward is this charter.

- We should go a little bit more upscale tonight.

- So pizza wasn't good yesterday?

Really? - Oh!

- We're not getting on your nerves, are we?

- No, I'm sorry you feel that way.

You ----ing bitch, [bleep] off.

I really just hope this boat sinks.

[ gasps ]

[ grunts ]

[ shouting, exclaiming ]

- ♪ espresso martini for everyone ♪

- for more "below deck" go to bravotv.Com