Original subtitles

Man: 1944, Before we were writers.

Before we were Beat writers.

Before I was the Allen Ginsberg.

Lucien Carr started it all.

He knew Bill Burroughs

and Dave Kammerer from St. Louis.

He met me at the Columbia dorm.

He met Joan at the West End bar.

He met Kerouac at Joan's apartment.

Lucien got us all together at Joan's apartment,

that was the scene.

Then Lucien killed Dave,

went to jail.

Bill and Joan got married and drifted down to Mexico.

That was another scene.

I dare you.

( Tin whistle blows )

( TV audio)

( Bill coughing )

One for the road.

(pops )

Bull's-eye.

Where is the brood?

"The brood" is out playing with the neighborhood urchins.

Do they have ruins down in Guatemala?

It's all ruins.

Or it all will be, given enough time.

Ah, just like people.

Yes.

But people decay more promptly than Mayan temples.

I told Lee that I would meet him down at the station.

What does your young man make of the Mayans?

I have yet to inquire about his preference in lost civilizations.

- But he must like ruins. - ( Bill chuckles )

Yes.

He likes me tolerably enough.

We have reached an accommodation.

That must be nice when sex can be so tolerably accommodated.

You have a nice vacation, dear.

You too.

But I'm not going anywhere, remember?

A vacation from me.

Staying behind is not a vacation.

Envy and resentment, Joanie, is only possible

because you cannot see your own space-time location.

William, I see my space-time location,

and I am angry about being left behind.

I thought you said Lucien and Allen were driving down to visit.

If you really thought so, you'd stay to see your oldest friends,

wouldn't you?

Very tempting, but--

But other activities are more tempting.

Goodbye, dear.

Well...

Goodbye, little beasts.

( Typewriter clicking )

( typewriter clicking )

Lucien. Oh God.

What happened?

I killed Dave.

What?

I stabbed him.

We went to the park to talk,

and I wanted to get him to stop obsessing.

He kissed me, and he wouldn't stop.

And then he tried to fuck me, and he wouldn't stop.

Even after I stabbed him, he wouldn't stop.

I rolled his body into the Hudson.

And I sunk him.

I sunk Dave.

I guess I should have stayed here.

They'll probably give me the chair for this.

Don't be absurd.

They don't fry freshman literature students.

You need to call your mother, and ask her for some money,

get a lawyer, and turn yourself in.

Goddamn it.

I saved this. His cigarette.

You want the last one?

( Engine roaring )

Did you see the flock of vultures?

No.

( Brakes squealing )

( turkey gobbling )

Flock of vultures.

A brood of vultures.

A brood of brooding vultures.

One must be very careful to call a predator by its proper plural,

don't you think, Lee?

Who cares?

Yeah.

Joan: Hit How are you!

Oh God. It's so great to see you.

I haven't seen you in so long...

And you, I haven't seen you, since...

Since prison.

Prison.

Where's Bill?

Bill's in Guatemala with his boyfriend.

- Allen: Guatemala? - Joan: Yeah.

Joan: It's ridiculous.

We missed Willie? He just split?

Consider yourselves lucky...

Bill's been acting like a schoolgirl in love.

We only have three or four days before we have to return to the city.

Why are you leaving so soon?

I have to get back to work on Monday...

as the newly-appointed junior editor of United Press International.

A foreign correspondent.

That's right. Correspondent in a foreign country.

How utterly dashing.

Lucien, are you completely rehabilitated?

Allen: Joan, I wrote Bill that we were coming,

I don't understand how he could just split.

You know what? Forget about Bill,

because we are going to have kicks.

Hey, Julie.

Julie, this is Lucien.

How about a kiss?

I collect kisses from sweet little girls.

Thank you very much.

Hi, there. I'm Allen. I met you both when you were very little.

It was back in Texas.

Do you like my dress?

What a very pretty green dress.

Julie: It's pink.

It is pink! What a pretty pink dress.

How pretty?

Too, too, pretty. You and your dress are just too, too pretty.

Just like your mom.

She's going to give you some competition, Joan.

Yeah, I'm out of the running.

So...

how are you?

How am I?

I live in a Mexican slum.

My husband has run off with another man.

And I've been too busy with my children...

to go down to the "farmacia” and refill my dexedrine.

Let me introduce you to a friend.

Benny, Joan; Joan, Benny.

Benny! Oh, God. Thank you.

I would like to propose a toast...

Absolutely.

To my two favorite boyfriends.

Salud.

What's going to be the kicks? What should we do?

My friend has a bar down the street.

- We could go for free drinks. - Lucien: Perfect.

Yeah.

I have to get a baby-sitter though.

I'll watch the kids.

I'd like to stay and wash off some of this road grime.

- Joan: Yeah? - It's my pleasure.

Not too much pleasure. Easy on the pederasty.

Yeah. Not to worry, Lou.

I lack your genius for the perverse.

Drugs are really cheap.

Bill can get his "morfina” over-the-counter.

He can carry his guns anywhere he wants.

And he can shoot them in the house.

That's what Willie likes, what about you?

What about me?

What do you like?

I have not thought about that for a while.

I love my kids,

and I love...

the old man.

That's the proper side of your life.

I wanna hear about the improper side.

I like to hit the lush.

It's a love-hate thing.

Liking things that are evil. But you know all about that.

How's that?

Dave.

You think about him, dead?

Do you mean do I feel guilty about it?

He tried to fuck me, and he fucked me.

Two years in Elmira.

Well, Dave's really fucked. He's dead.

I paid for it.

Two years? It could have been a lot worse.

It's more than that.

What?

I lost you.

I think it's time we put a sad song on the jukebox.

Tell me about your girlfriend.

There's nothing to tell. She's just a girl.

Tell me about your boyfriends.

I don't have any boyfriends.

Willie has a boyfriend.

Yes, he does, but I am disgustingly loyal.

Man: Gentlemen...

Excuse me.

You feel like going upstairs to my apartment for a quiet drink?

You can bring your friend.

Bill has his men friends.

I don't see why you shouldn't have yours.

I think that's between Bill and his men.

Remember this one?

( Guitar strumming )

2 Hold me, slug me. 2}

2 Say you'll never... What? Fuck me?

Together: ( laughing ) 2 Fuck me. 2

Together: 2 Fuck me. As Cupid... »

Together: 2 Strings his bow. !

Together: 2 Use me. Abuse me.

2 Say you'll never choose me. 2

2 Fire an arrow at my heart.

2} Say it's time to go...

What kind of a song is that?

That is a love song.

Lucien can write a song about anything.

Really? Then why don't you sing us a volcano song?

A volcano song.

Yeah. Yeah.

"Paricutin, halfway to Guadalajara.”

A real, fire and brimstone, hot lava volcano?

"When it erupted back in '47, it wiped out a whole town.”

Says here the only thing that was left was the church steeple.

You think the volcano might erupt again?

Let me see that.

Lucien: Hot damn. Should we go?

Do we dare?

Yes.

I need some fire and brimstone in my life.

That's not such a good idea. They're probably evacuating the area.

Well I personally love bad ideas.

Baby...

Yes.

Bad ideas are rarely boring.

- Lucien: Adios, Gentlemen. - Bye.

Hey.

Do you need anything?

Like, uh...

like what?

Like a blanket?

No. I've got my bedroll.

Oh, okay.

I'll see you tomorrow.

- Okay. - Okay.

All right.

Good night.

We'll leave early for the volcano.

Yes.

Lucien: You think the kids will be okay?

Joan: Sure they will. They'll survive without me.

Lucien: You could have brought them along, I don't mind.

Man, they were wailing. Wow!

Joan: What about me?

I need this vacation, or I might start screaming my head off.

Why does Bill get to have all the fun?

I'm entitled to sing the body electric.

Lucien: The armies of those I love engird me...

and I engird them.

Together: And charge them full with the charge of the soul.

Allen, care for a cocktail?

- Joan: Shit. The Federales. - Lucien: You mean "the man"?

Joan: Si, el hombre.

They're waving me over.

Well then, pull over.

All right, pulling over, my dear.

Joan: Buenos dias, sefiores.

( Speaking Spanish )

Lucien: You want a drink?

( Glass shattering )

Now that's a waste.

( Speaking Spanish )

- What do they want? - They want money.

I have money.

Here you go.

( Speaking Spanish )

- Joan: Give him your cash. - Allen: I don't have much on me.

Ah. You want my clothes?

Joan: Lucien, don't give him your clothes.

You'll like it. You'll look good in it.

There you go.

This cabroén is crazy.

No. Here.

Joan: Si, loco.

- You want my shoes? - ( speaking Spanish )

- They're New York City shoes. - ( speaking Spanish )

Lucien, I don't think he gets it.

You want the whole hip outfit. Is that right?

Hold on, one second.

Lucien: No. No. It's good, baby.

Allen: I don't think that's a good idea.

Lucien: Voila.

( Speaking Spanish )

Get in the car.

What?

Adiés.

( Bell ringing )

Christ, it's hot.

Maybe we should take a siesta.

Oh, Jesus. God!

Can't you ever keep your hands to yourself?

I thought a little companionship might be nice.

I agreed to sleep with you twice a week.

I've already slept with you twice this week.

A deal's a deal.

No need to be small about this.

Let's just try and keep things on a friendly basis.

Maybe tomorrow...

if you keep your hands to yourself in the meantime.

Water, water, everywhere and not a drop to drink.

Drink this.

Why didn't we ever get together?

You know, before all the...

Before...?

Before the whole Dave thing.

- Ah. The whole Dave thing. - Yeah.

Everyone spent that whole summer talking about and analyzing

that Dave thing.

So that's why you didn't dig me?

( Chuckles )

I didn't dig you because you went to prison

before I could do any digging.

I'm here now.

Okay.

Okay.

Whoa. Whoa.

You scratch a bohemian, and you've got a boy scout.

Not that I'm a bohemian, nor a boy scout...

but I still sort of have these true-blue feelings for Willie,.

Hmmm.

Come on, he's still my friend.

(scoffs )

Hey!

Smile.

Dave: I can't think of anyone, except for you.

You've ruined me.

No, Dave. You've ruined yourself.

No.

I did everything that you asked me to do, Lucien.

You encouraged me.

Now I'm discouraging you.

I'm never going to be what you want.

Oh, no. But you are.

You are exactly what I want.

Dave, I'm not a queer. All right?

Find someone else.

But I found you.

You've been talking to Bill, haven't you?

This doesn't have anything to do with Bill.

I like you. I really do.

I just don't like you like that.

You can hang out with Bill and you can hang out with Allen,

but if I want to hang out with you,

I have to do all kinds of shit!

I've got to earn your fucking favors, Lucien.

I'm sorry about that.

- Lucien, I love... - Stop, Dave!

Dave: No. I love you. I love you...

Fucking Mexico.

It's a beat place.

Yes, it is. I've had my fill.

If you're so unhappy, then leave with me...

With us.

Bill can't go back to the States. He had that heroin conviction.

- You're clean. - I'm polluted.

Your record's clean. You don't have to stay.

I can't leave Bill.

I left Bill. Bill was sucking me dry...

Bill is a psychic vampire-- that's his phrase.

Why do you stay with him?

Bill has great potential.

He doesn't write anything except letters.

Allen, did you just come down here to give advice to the lovelorn?

Why not? Who isn't lovelorn?

Lucien has great potential.

Yeah.

Joan: He did...

before he stabbed Dave to death.

Allen: Lucien has a tender spirit.

Slightly arrogant, slightly humble, slightly beautiful...

slightly daring, slightly brilliant.

I try to see the world through Lucien's eyes.

I dream about him--

real, sleepy-time, ll-can't-control-my-subconcious...

dreams.

If he had any idea of the madness that went on in my head...

he would detest me as a psychic vampire-- my phrase.

I know that it's all too hopeless even to be hopeless love.

I'm not Dave.

But Lucien is my best friend...

all the same.

Yeah, we are the lovelorn.

(laughs )

( speaking Spanish )

( speaking Spanish )

Lee: That was brilliant.

He'll spread the word and a horde will descend.

Not all of us are so stingy with our favors.

We did make a deal.

Yes, we did.

And tonight, at midnight, it is the beginning of a new week.

Wait up, Lee.

( Speaking Spanish )

Si, senorita.

Gracias.

We are going the right way.

Where's the lava and fabled fire and brimstone?

The volcano has gone back to sleep. But it's still smoking.

We can go to the town it wiped out last time.

Lucien: Old news.

Allen: The volcano god's at peace. Be thankful.

Lucien: How utterly fucking boring.

We need to get the volcano god good and goddamned angry.

Should we go for a stroll?

Joan: Sure.

Come on, Allen.

No thanks.

Watch out for the volcano god.

He's lurking in all that old lava.

Stop it.

I thought you wanted to.

Wanted to what?

You know...

Fuck?

You had your chance yesterday and you turned into a boy scout.

I'm not a boy scout now.

Exactly. Not now.

I don't need another person in my life taking me for granted.

( Thunderclap )

Would you kill Allen if he tried to fuck you?

Allen's hip enough to keep his love for me unrequited.

Yeah, Allen's smart enough not to act like Dave.

Why are you so obsessed with Dave?

I'm not obsessed with Dave. I'm just curious.

You killed an aspiring lover. I think it's perversely attractive.

What about my unrequited love for you?

You aren't the unrequited type, Lucien.

Some volcano.

Don't you think it's a little drastic,

sailing all the way to France, just to get away from Dave?

It's not as drastic as when Dave quit teaching English in St. Louis,

to become a janitor in New York just to be near me.

I'm not holding Dave up as the standard of reasonable behavior.

Why do you let him write your freshman lit papers,

when you're capable of discoursing on the great freshman themes?

Dave gets a kick out of doing it for me.

Who am I to deny him some simple pleasures?

Because Dave expects something from the deal.

That, Lucien, is reasonable.

He's pathetic, he's the idiot,

he's the Hunchback of Notre Dame without the hunch.

Yes, Dave is pathetic,

but he's a person, not a literary conceit.

Bill, I don't know what to do.

It's simple: stop using Dave.

Politely pull him aside and tell him to leave you alone,

clean and simple.

Take care of this.

These theatrics are becoming a real bore.

If you must leave, fine.

But do it soon, Lucien,

before something nasty happens here.

I'm serious.

Lucien: We never even made it to the volcano.

We should've hiked up the cinder cone.

- We got close enough. - No. We drove all the way out here,

we didn't even make it to the top.

There's close enough and there's too far.

You always want to go too far.

There's wanting and then there's going.

(scoffs )

Hah.

( Speaking Spanish )

Lucien: Mexico's pretty fucking complicated.

- Allen: Like what? - Like Joan.

Allen: What's complicated about it? You have the hots for her.

That's as basic as it gets-- that's fundamental chemistry.

Lucien: Bill's what makes it complicated.

You don't seem to be acting unduly inhibited.

What do you know, Al?

You've never coveted a buddy's wife before.

I have been in love situations that didn't work out.

It's the same thing.

I'm thinking about what it would be like if I stayed with her.

It's great now, but if we stayed together, would it stay great?

And those kids...

Joan takes care of the kids.

Yeah, with Bill's allowance money.

That's less than you make at UPI.

She loves Bill, though.

But he's worn her out.

I got a girlfriend back in the city, it doesn't matter.

What's the deal?

Are you trying to talk yourself into something or out of--

I don't know.

Hey, there's my bathing beauty.

Your worn-out bathing beauty.

I'm just worried about you, that's all.

Don't be boring.

Do you want to go for a swim?

- Yeah. - Come on, Allen.

No. Go ahead.

You too worn out?

Ahh,

Strong current.

No. I didn't say you could do that.

Where do you think the Pacific is?

I don't know. We could float...

just float and float away...

and find out...

and drown our sorrows.

You never know.

I'm gonna step out.

Joan?

Joan!

Joan?

- Joan! - Allen: What happened?

I got tired, so I got out.

She wanted to float with the fucking current.

Can she swim?

I don't know. If she wants.

Joan?

Allen: You shouldn't have left her alone.

- Lucien: I didn't leave her. - Allen: You got out of the water.

I didn't leave her.

- Joan? - She's an adult.

Joan?

Joan?

Fuck! Joan?

Joan? What are you doing?

What does it look like I'm doing?

I'm staring into the abyss.

Honey, if you stare into the abyss long enough,

it stares back into you.

Oh, it has.

It has.

Nothing is simple with you and I.

We're both doomed.

How am I doomed?

Dave's ghost.

What's your doom?

Maybe you are.

Why don't you come back to New York?

Come back how?

You can come back with us.

With me.

I can't leave Bill.

You can do anything you want.

Will you kiss me?

Dave, what is the point of fixating on Lucien like this?

The point...

( laughing )

Maybe I am fixating,

but everyone's drawn to him.

You are.

Admit it. Come on, admit it.

No. No...

Lucien is the social butterfly.

Lou found you, and he found Jack, and he found Joan,

and Lou made this whole scene happen

because of this amazing thing that he has.

And anyway, I saw him first.

I wanted him first.

Saw him at camp Wohelo.

Did I tell you that I was his camp counselor?

Yes, several times.

So it doesn't bother you in the slightest

that he uses you to do errands?

Not if it keeps us close, Allen.

I will do anything to keep us close.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

What's the matter?

Why keep kissing?

Have you reconsidered?

Sleeping with you?

No, New York.

It's not realistic.

We're both luckless.

I'm faithful, and you're too faithless.

What about Willy?

Running off into the jungle with a new little boyfriend,

that's not exactly faithful.

Willy always comes back.

At the end of the road, what about-- what do we do?

What do I do?

The old gang. It'll be kicks.

You've always done well in New York.

Are you ready for me and my children?

Are you ready for that?

Are you?

I don't know.

Does that bother you?

No, not too much.

You seemed like you liked it before.

It was all right.

What's with all the questions?

What are you fishing around for?

Nothing. I'm just trying to be personable, affectionate.

Affectionate.

Save the affection for your kids.

Maybe your wife would like some too.

Joanie has my affection.

If you love your wife so much,

then why are you here with me?

Love is not sex.

I never realized how boring it is

to drive back some place,

mile after mile,

just to get back to where you started from.

Hey!

Hey, you!

- Where's your brother? - Upstairs.

He's upstairs? Is your daddy back?

No.

He's not? Will you get Billy for me?

Go get your brother. It's so good to see you.

All the way to Mexico, no Willy. I think he's avoiding us.

Yeah. We have that in common.

It's a long way back to the Apple.

I can't believe you're not coming with us.

You wanna get back in the car?

It's not too late.

Grab the kids, jump in your car?

Sure.

Just...

we could just leave Bill a note?

"Dear Bill, Taken the kids, gone to New York...

Adidés, muchachos.”

Why not?

The car's right here. I'll loan you a piece of paper for the note.

No.

Think about New York.

1 will,

Promise?

All the time.

Allen: Smile.

See ya.

I would say drive carefully...

but it doesn't seem to apply.

So drive carelessly,

without a care.

She's so fucking exciting.

I tried to get her to come back.

How hard did you try?

I tried. I fucking tried, I did.

She loves Bill. She's got those two kids.

It's not like she's free, you know?

You want absolution?

Stop at a fucking church.

You're right. You're right.

I should've grabbed her and the kids, thrown 'em in the back seat.

So turn around.

She thinks I'm doomed.

She thinks I'm doomed. What can I say?

Bill: Hello, Joanie.

Hello.

You missed Allen and Lucien.

What a pity. How was their visit?

We went to the volcano in Paricutin.

Oh.

Yes.

And how was your trip?

Everything about Guatemala was nasty and unreliable.

At the end of the road there was only mud and mosquitoes,

and a mad doctor.

And how was your pretty boy?

Lee was parsimonious in dispensing his favors.

He was nice to Papa twice a week, only because I was footing the bill,.

He was far more lawyerly than lustful--

he cried "breach of contract” every time I asked

for something more.

I've never understood your taste in men.

And I yours.

Did you pay the rent?

With what?

My allowance does not come in until the 15th.

That must crimp your style as a sugar daddy.

Perhaps your paramour thinks you're impecunious.

"Cuanto dinero” to be nice to Papa twice a week?

I enjoyed seeing Allen...

and Lucien.

I enjoyed it very much.

Are you...

leaving me?

Should 1?

As you like.

I may just go back to New York.

Lucien is a tourist.

You are an Aztec pyramid, local color.

What are you?

A scorpion slithering across your crumbling steps.

We really do need money.

We need food.

Yes.

And gin.

And gin.

Fine.

I will sell a gun.

Cheers.

Fucking luck.

No, our luck's been good.

Don't be perverse, all right?

Think about it-- New York, Mexico City, back to Texas.

Our dear chariot's been flawless.

Yeah, until now.

The karmic wheel has turned, my friend.

No. The karmic wheel has stopped, Al.

It's all the same thing.

As Bill says, better get comfortable with your space-time location.

This is not my space-time location.

It's fucking nowhere, man.

Yeah. I remember trying this gun.

It's a dog, Bill.

I don't like it much either.

But it is an automatic, and it's worth four hundred pesos.

Maybe not that much. But I think I know a buyer.

Why don't you bring it over to my place tomorrow night?

Thank you, Heard.

It's in my self-interest, Bill. You need drinking money.

Yes.

- Hola. - Hola.

Can I buy you a drink, sir?

With what?

Credit.

Why don't you sell the gun first,

and then start standing rounds?

Waiter: What can I get ya?

Man: Tequila, por favor.

Adidés, muchachos...

companferos.

Adios...

muchachos...

companferos.

Adios...

(groans)

I didn't expect you back tonight.

Love's Labor's Lost.

Bill, I don't want much from you.

I just want your arms around me sometimes.

Here's the keys. All right?

I'll send you back a truck.

Here's some money.

There you go. That should be enough.

All right, here, take that.

If you need more, I'll wire it back to you from the city.

- You're doing it again. - Doing what again?

- Abandoning. - Don't be a queen...

Who knows how long it's gonna take to fix the dear old chariot?

I gotta get back to my job.

Abandoning.

I recognize my space-time location. I truly do.

It's not here.

( Horn beeps )

See you back in the city?

( Engine roars )

(pops )

I had a strange dream last night.

I dreamt I gave birth to a large spider.

Bill: What do you suppose that means?

Well, the Freudian interpretation...

would be that I want to have sex with my father.

Bill, does the Oedipal complex get reversed for fags?

(laughs )

Speaking from personal experience,

I never wanted to fuck my father.

( Tin whistle blows )

The knife sharpener's here.

Joanie, look.

An honest-to-goodness boy scout knife.

Hmmm...

Lucien used to have a knife like that.

He used to open wine bottles with it.

( Tin whistle blows )

I think I'll go get the knife sharpened.

( Speaking Spanish )

( speaking Spanish )

Si.

Man: Bill, come in.

- Hello, Heard. - Hi.

Heard: Joan.

Hello.

- Heard: Good, you got the gun. - Bill: Yes.

Lee.

Hello.

So, is the buyer here?

Depends on who's buying what.

Joanie, you know Lee.

By reputation.

I don't know where Marv is, but I gotta go tend bar.

Dwight, you know Marv, right?

Yeah. We were stationed in Germany together.

- Great. Bill, will you be okay? - Like a pig in a trough.

Heard, go down and tend to the bar.

I will come down with your commission

as soon as I have negotiated the swindle.

Heard: Perfect.

Swindle?

Marv's a stand-up guy.

It is a fair gun for a fair price.

I live my life by the boy scout code.

I know my guns.

You don't even know the boy scout motto, wisenheimer.

( Iaughing )

Yes.

"Be prepared.”

Were you a boy scout, Lee?

No, I was never a boy scout.

Oh really?

Bill could teach you knot tying,

or wrestling holds...

if he hasn't already.

Didn't you two bone up on your wilderness lore...

down there in the jungle?

The jungle was fucking ghastly.

I don't understand.

The jungle was ghastly, or the fucking was ghastly--

- Or both? - Joanie!

I love travel stories,

especially ghastly fucking ones.

Dwight: You've got some mouth on you, Mrs. Burroughs.

No, Dwight, not compared to some other mouths.

And where those mouths have been!

Well...

Well...

I'm so bored.

My dear...

why don't we show the boys here our William Tell act?

Okay, Bill.

Let's show them our little parlor trick, shall we?

(laughs )

( chuckles )

I dare you.

( Gun shoots )

(thud )

Joanie!

Lee: I'll get that medical student who lives on the roof.

Dwight: I'll call an ambulance.

Joanie! She's gonna be fine. Come on!

( Sobbing )

Help!

( Sobbing )

Come on, sit up.

There you go, girl.

( Sobbing )

( wailing )

- Man: Hey, Carr? - Yeah?

What was the name of that friend of yours in Mexico?

- The one you just visited? - Burroughs. Why?

Bad news, I think. This just came over the wire.

( weeping )

I dare you.

Allen: Snapshot poetics.

Reckless memories.

Complicated.

It's sad and beautiful.

What's it like among the dead, Joanie?

What happy things do the dead remember?