Original subtitles

- Would you look at that! - Oh, you like 'em? You like it?

I just got 'em, too. Look at them! Bam! Look, look.

It looks like one when you do it like that.

And that you can really see 'em when I'm spinning.

Yeah, yeah. I got a B-O-G-O deal on 'em.

You buy the shirt and get the pants free.

And they threw in the socks. Look at that!

Mr. Brown, I'm not talking about that hideous outfit.

I'm talking about my latest commercial!

Oh, is this the one where you've fallen and I can't get up?

- That one? - Yes.

Have you ever seen anyone fall so convincingly?

Oh, you really believed it, didn't you?

Yeah. That's 'cause you got acting skills.

That's what you got!

Even so, my agent hasn't offered me one new acting job in weeks.

Well, you should call him 'cause actin' like yours

shouldn't go to waste.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Brown. You know, I think I will.

Okay. Ooh, that must've hurt when you fell like that.

Hello. This is the Anastasia Devereux.

May I please speak to--

Oh, my.

He died?

Oh, no. It seems my agent has retired and moved to Tahiti.

What am I gonna do now?

Without an agent, I'll never work again.

Anastasia, calm down. Oh, calm do--

And scene!

Yeah, okay. You're gonna be all right. You're gonna be okay.

- And besides, you got a manager. - Where?

Me. I'm your manager. Give me one day to prove myself.

I got more hustle than Samson got muscle.

Well, I do want to keep acting,

and I don't suppose I have another choice.

You--Don't you even worry.

I'ma get you more jobs than my shorts got colors.

And I'm only gonna take 50 percent!

Fine. We'll see how you-- Oh, uh, 50--wait, Mr. Brown!

50 percent? No! Five percent! Only five percent!

Sandra. Oh, leaving back to college so soon?

Yep. Can't wait to get back on campus.

It was a great visit.

But she and Jeremy have to get back on the road.

Aw. We're so proud of you, dear! And until next time, remember,

boys are just toys, but knowledge lasts forever!

Focus on the knowledge part. Text me when you get there.

And we'll see you for Thanksgiving, baby.

I don't know, Mom. I mean, campus food is pretty amazing.

I'm registering Friendsgiving with my new college friends.

I'm kidding.

Don't do your mother like that.

Wait, uh, that hug wasn't quite right. A little too much arms.

- Better? - Totally nailed it.

- Okay. - All right.

We better get on the road if we wanna beat traffic. Come on.

Wait. I uh, I totally forgot the new jacket Mom got got me.

- The one you're wearing, baby. - Oh. No wonder I wasn't cold.

Let me just use the bathroom and we can hit the road!

You just used the bathroom five minutes ago

and you haven't eaten or drinkin' since.

I did, didn't I? Silly me.

Baby girl, why are you stalling?

Define stalling. I'll get the dictionary.

- It's in the attic. - Hold up!

Tell us what's going on right now.

Okay, fine. I don't wanna go back to college

because I hate it there! Are you happy now?

Oh, Sandra. What?

Hell yeah, I'm happy. That tuition was killing me.

Bad timing.

♪ No matter what you do, I love you ♪

♪ No matter where you go, I'm behind you for sure ♪

♪ Always remember blood ain't ever water ♪

♪ We'll make it if we stay together ♪

So Sandra, why are you saying that you hate college

when you know that you love it?

Yeah. Every time we talk,

you describe all your professors as great

and you're learning all these fascinating things.

Yeah, you go on and on about all the cool people you've met,

and then your mom makes an excuse for me to get off

the phone so y'all can talk about boys.

I didn't know you noticed that.

Yeah, I ain't stupid.

My doctor told me to remove myself

from stressful situations, so...

You know, it's for my heart health.

Oh, okay, so your professors are great,

your friends are wonderful. Jeremy?

You had some fun dates with some cute guys. Okay baby.

So, I mean, why don't you wanna go back to school?

Because my professors are mean and I don't understand the work.

Look, I don't have any friends. I just sit in my room all day,

every day being miserable.

What about your roommate?

She's never there.

She's always sleeping over at her boyfriend's.

Welp, things could have been worse!

Well, Sandra, why would you lie to us and tell us that

everything is rainbows and butterflies?

Because everybody had all these big expectations from me

to go off to college and have this wonderful experience,

but it's not. It's literally the worst.

Oh, baby.

I just told you guys what you wanted to hear

because I didn't want you to be disappointed in me.

Sandra Washington, we could never be disappointed in you.

Well...

Jeremy!

What? I'm saying what if she got like, a tattoo on her forehead

and started dating a mumble rapper or somethin'?

Will you hush? Well, listen, Sandra,

as long as you are trying your best,

we will never be disappointed in you.

Really? Not even if I dropped out?

Drop out of school? What are talking about dropping out?

See, Mom?

Don't listen to your daddy, okay?

If you really don't wanna go back to school,

we won't force you to.

Dad?

Yeah. Whatever your mother say.

Really? Thanks, guys.

Well, I guess that settles it. I'm never going back to college.

Yay!

- Mr. Manager! - Hey!

What fabulous acting opportunities

have you hustled up for me?

Oh, I've been out managertizing you.

Yeah, okay. The first job-- you-you may want to sit down

- for this. This is gonna be-- - Just spit it out!

Okay. Okay, the first job I have for you, you will be

doing personalized video messages for your fans.

- Excuse me? - Yeah, yeah. It pays uh, $80,

and all you gotta work is 20 seconds.

- Oh, okay. Fine. - Okay. So whenever I-

I hit record on the camera, you just start reading,

just come from your heart. Make it--make it purty.

Oh, you may want to get on-- This is my good side here,

so come around here. This is my good side.

Are you sure? Did you look in the mirror?

- Mr. Brown. - Well, you know you.

I'm just lookin' at you.

Okay, you go ahead.

Hello, Jerry Lou, this is the Anastasia Deveraux,

star of stage and screen! You know, you might remember me

from my movie, Sista from the Blue Lagoon.

There was this one time on set,

I think it was a Thursday. No, it was Wednesday.

- The director, he was up-- - It said 20 seconds.

- Oh, I-I digress. - Okay.

Okay. I just wanna wish you a very happy birth--

Wait, wait. We done ran out of time now. He said 20 seconds.

- Oh. - If you ain't gonna stay within

the time constraints, then you gonna lose out on this.

- Uh-oh. - Maybe that may not be for you!

I don't think that's gonna be for you. I got something else.

Okay. I got uh-uh, I opened up your account for Only Stans.

Only Stans? What's a Stan?

Oh, oh. Only Stans, that's where people go in

and they pay a monthly fee to subscribe

and then they get to interact with they favorite celebrity.

- Oh-- - And that's you!

Oh, I'd be so happy to answer fan questions about my career.

Okay, let me log you in here.

Your password is the alphabet?

"Anastasia Deveraux." That's me.

That's you. Who else it's gonna be?

"You are my favorite actress.

Can you please show me your ti--"

- Oh! - Oh, my!

- Wait a minute! - Well, you little pervert!

I don't--I don't wanna see this!

Anastasia Deveraux's girls never make an appearance

without a five-star dinner first!

I definitely wouldn't wanna see them with a 10-star dinner. No!

Okay, those jobs may not be for you. That's-that's not for you.

But this next job, this next job I have for you,

it's gonna take you back to your roots.

It's gonna take you back to the live audience.

Oh, Mr. Brown!

See, look at the people. Look at all the people standing--

I absolutely adore the theater!

Nah, that's not the theater.

You gonna be playing a chicken.

A chicken?

Yeah, at Big Bama's Kuntry Chicken and Waffles.

You gonna be twirling a sign like, they just.

Ah! Oh-oh!

Mr. Brown,

the only feathers I'd ever be caught dead in are on my boa!

But it pays $20.

And, and besides, you get all the chicken wings you can get.

And I get five percent of the chicken wings,

so I'ma have to get you to give me some of them pepper wings.

Get me some hot sauce wings.

And get me some with the habenevah sauce.

The haben--habenero.

Mr. Brown...

You better find me a job

suitable for an award-winning actress like me

or you are fired!

Did you just mush me?

Well, it ain't like you gotta remember no lines!

Rise and shine!

Oh, good, it's you. And since I'm grown now,

my dad waking me up must be nothing but

a silly little nightmare.

Uh-uh. Get that butt up! Come on! Come on! It's 8:00 AM.

Time to attack the day. Let's go!

This is why I scheduled my classes for the afternoon.

I need to sleep in order to attack.

Yeah, well, you no longer have classes, but you do have chores.

- Chores? Oh, no. - Oh, yes! Yes, you're living in

my house rent free now, so you got chores to do.

Sorry, Dad, but it's been so long since I've had chores,

I've forgotten what they are.

Oh, damn.

That's why...

I made you a list!

Great. My eyes are open and yet somehow the nightmare continues.

Oh, well, it's not a nightmare for your brother.

It's like a dream come true because somehow,

his chores have magically been cut in half!

So that's why he was so happy I moved back home.

Yep, so you can start by sweeping the floor

and then you're on dishes duty.

Hey, uh, Courtney texted me about a

little get-together tonight.

Nope. I speak teenage girl and in your language that translates

as a parentless blowout.

Look, come on, Dad. It's just gonna be a few people.

Translation, a minimum of 200 people.

The cops will definitely show up. And maybe even a helicopter.

Look, okay. It has been so long since I've asked for permission

because I've been living on my own for months,

so this is kind of a courtesy ask, but can I go?

I mean, I can go, right?

Of course you can go. I want you to see your friends.

Great. Thanks, Dad.

Just be home by 8:00 sharp.

8:00? Oh, I'll be home way before then.

Wait, we are talking about 8:00 AM, right?

Hilarious. 8:00 PM.

- You're serious? - Yeah.

But I'm in college. I don't even have a curfew.

Correction. You were in college. Now you live at home with me.

Great. I'll just get started on these fun, amazing chores.

Hello, this is, uh, the manager for the Anastasia Deveraux

of stage and screen. Yeah, she-she'd do movies.

She had billions of movies.

Like what? Well, like, all the classics.

She's in all the classics. Yes!

Dracula Goes to Hollywood and--Yeah, she did, like,

all the ones with afros and bell bottoms.

He hung up.

What are they gonna hang up on me for?

Okay, this is the last number. This is a Hail Mary.

One more number left. I hope they answer .

Let me get proper. Hello! Spike Lee?

Yes? Look here, Larry gave me your phone number

down at the barbershop. He told me to give you a call.

Yes. Oh, this--

This not Spike Lee? I-I-I, oh she--I was about to say,

Do the Right Thing 'cause she got to have this job.

Oh, this is Mike Lee. Oh, look here, Larry must've

heard me wrong. I thought--yes. Yes, Mike. Yes. Yes. Look, look,

Larry's ears so little. Okay. Thank you. Dog. Shoot.

Hey, Mr. Brown. What got you so down in the dumps?

Cora, I've been trying to find Anastasia a job everywhere

and I can't find nothin'. I even called Vinny and said,

"Vinny, you got a hook up?" He said,

"Nah, I'm up here in Amsterdam in the mountains."

And I say, "What? Why you can't give me a hook up?

He said, "I don't give an Amster..."

That sound like Mr. Vinny.

Cora, I just feel like, I feel like I've just been

strikin' out. I can't find nothin'.

Well, don't be so hard on yourself.

I know, Cora. I just--she done put her whole career in my hand

and I feel like I'm lettin' her down.

You're not lettin' her down, Mr. Brown. I mean,

you're trying your best, right?

- Yeah. - Well, that's all you can do.

Cora, I ain't tried this hard to find somethin' since--

since I tried to do the moonwalk. Remember that time?

How could I forget? Yes! I can just remember all that hard

dedication you did. And hours and hours using your tube socks

on your kitchen slidin'--

- Man, that was all right! - And I still couldn't do it!

No, you couldn't do it. Lookin' like an old jalopy

stuck in reverse.

I mean, Cora, I looked-- I looked badder than that!

I was just a mess!

I gotta give you credit.

You know when you was in over your head.

Yeah, you know who I wind up calling? I called the best

dancer in our neighborhood to show me--

- Uncle Earl! - Uncle Earl! Remember--

- Yes! - He could do the bugaloo!

- Remember the bugaloo? - Yes!

- And he would do the wop! - Ooh, he would do the wop!

And the wubby-dubby. Now, he was good at that wubby-dubby.

- That thing-- - What's the wubby-dubby?

Cora, I would show you, but the last time I did the wubby-dubby,

I winded up tearing up all my ligments in my back.

That's the lesson in it, Mr. Brown. That's all right.

Yeah, that's the lesson. The lesson is, if you're gonna

ever learn a new dance move, consult the physician first.

No. When you find yourself in over your head,

it's okay to seek professional help.

You know what, Cora? I think I'm gonna get--

You done somethin', Cora. I think I'm gonna have to

make a call. The super manager gotta

make a call to somebody here.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah. Five, five, five, five, five, one, two--

Who are you calling, Mr. Brown, 'cause that's a lot of numbers.

Cora, it's-it's long distance.

Your fingers so big, how are you hittin' the numbers?

Cora, 'cause I got a special phone and you weren't all up

in my thing, you would know.

Oh.

Now, back up. That's why people get private shields.

I'm your daughter. You can share with me.

No, I can't!

You be the nosey one. Them would be the one to find

out all your stuff and steal your credit card.

Hello.

First Dad wakes me up at the crack of dawn for labor,

then Philip stinks up my brand-new jacket.

Tonight, I have to leave the party

before anyone even gets there.

Oh, this place is so annoying. I can't!

Hey, hey. Hey, Sandra. How are you?

Hey, Cora.

So what do you got planned for today?

So oh, do you always, like, lay on the sofa with your shoes

on it like that?

Sorry. I just-- Everyone sits like that

on the sofa in the dorm. I just picked up a bad habit, I guess.

Well, it's okay. I understand. I get it.

You know, so what have you got planned for today?

You know, and...

Oh, why is the broom here in the living room?

Is this where it goes? Like... in the middle of the floor

for somebody to trip over it? Okay.

Actually, I was just sweeping

and wanted to take a little break.

Oh, okay. Well, good. You know what? I'm so sorry

'cause I've really been trying, you know, uh,

since I've been a teacher for so long.

Trying not to go back into my teacher's mode.

You know, sometimes being that rule enforcer.

Yeah, I've been working really hard at it.

Really? I hadn't noticed.

You know, I realize that I'm not in the classroom

and Sandra's not in the third grade.

It's totally fine.

So oh, oh, I'm headed to the cafeteria. Would you like, um,

a juice box or PBJ? I can cut the edges off for you.

- Fruit cup? - I'm good, Miss Cora. Thanks.

Okay. Suit yourself.

Hi, Sandra. I see your parents have turned you into a regular

- Cinderella, haven't they? - You can say that again.

Have I ever told you about the time I played Cinderella

off Broadway?

Oh, only once or twice, or 50 times.

Oh, you've been off to college for so long, you've probably

forgotten a lot of the details. I'll tell you again.

- No, no, no. It's all right. - Back in the 70s, I used to have

a thing for men in disco boots and that gloriously thick

chest hair a woman could lose her wedding ring in.

Mom! I'm ready to go back to college!

And scene!

What did you say?

You're ready to go back to school?

Is that what you said?

Yes, I am more than sure. I mean, being back here

has taught me that as much as I love this place,

I'm ready to go back to college and be on my own. Far away.

Well...

It's normal for freshmen to take a while to find their footing,

baby, right? You just might have to put a little work into it.

More work?

Uh, look, okay. For instance, your professors

might not be mean. They may just have tons of students, right?

And-and not able to provide the-the, I don't know.

One-on-one instruction that you're used to.

- I guess that makes sense. - Yeah,

and look, if you don't understand something,

go knock on their door for those office hours, girl. Show up.

And friends aren't gonna come to you.

You have to get out, get involved,

hit the clubs, you know?

The clubs? Okay.

Not those kind of clubs.

Oh.

I'm talking about campus clubs based off your interests, baby.

Yeah. I mean, and you know, I need you to stay your butt out

of those other kind of clubs. I'm not playin' with you, okay?

Okay. I can definitely work on getting more involved.

All right. And your father and I are always here

to support you, baby. Anytime, anything you need.

Thanks, Mom.

- Mm-mm. - I'll go pack.

All right. Bridgewill's still an option.

Oh, hey, Ms. Anastasia. No auditions today?

I'm afraid not. Mr. Brown was a subpar manager,

and was unable to find me one, single measly acting job.

Hello.

Yes, this is Anastasia Devereaux,

star of stage and screen.

How many I help you?

Oh, my. Oh, yes.

Yes, I'd be delighted!

Oh, thank you! Oh, oh, my God! Oh!

- What? - Oh!

- Well, who was that? - Oh! Oh!

End scene!

That was-- That was my old agency.

Seems my manager called them and delivered such a passionate

pitch about what an amazing actress I am,

that a new agent there has signed me on the spot!

Oh, now that is great news! That's great, Ms. Anastasia!

- Isn't it wonderful? - Yes, that's wonderful!

- Oh, my God! - Congratulations!

Ah! Ah! What's all-- I heard all the ah! ah!

Mr. Brown, thank you for making that call on my behalf.

My new agent already has two new auditions for me next week!

Well, you deserve it! You deserve it!

Oh, and it's all because of my super manager!

It is. It is all because of me.

We are going to do big things together.

- All right. - Nuh-uh.

Mr. Brown, what happened to your suit?

And why aren't you carrying your briefcase?

'Cause I'm retired.

All this show business stuff is too hard for me.

That's why I'm glad I kept the receipt on that briefcase,

so I could return that sucker.

People following me around. I had a girl follow me around

from the store talkin' about get me in a movie.

So she's tryin' to show me something. Nah-uh.

I said, "No, no."

Mr. Brown!

Where you going, manager?

Thank you again, Mr. Brown! Thank you!