Original subtitles

Trapper, I've got to ask you a big favor.

Sure. I want you to take care of Harry, personally.

Why me?

He's a terrific guy, old Trapper. I can see why you two had a good thing going.

But I can understand why you left him, too.

He has a tendency to be a little self-serving, wouldn't you say?

Listen, if I was still involved with my ex-wife and some dude like Beaumont was

going to marry her, I wouldn't do the surgery. My emotions might get in the

way. All right.

Now, I'll take that.

With this? Yeah, yeah. Come on, quick. Put it in the sling.

Why would I do a thing like that? That's your property.

Listen, Stanley, I've got a patient in surgery right now, but his angiogram is

inside the Titanic, and the Titanic is gone. Now, if you don't tell me what you

did with it... You still have tonight.

You don't have to answer it, do you?

Looks busy.

Oh, yeah.

Three car accidents, attempted suicide, possible coronary, two gang fight

victims, and a kid with a bee in his nose.

In his ear?

That was a split pee we took out of his nose.

Uh-huh.

All right, take care of room two. I've revved down on back pain to make a

complete workup. You got it. I'll be in four.

uh sir ah officer good that monstrosity is parked in my parking space uh this is

a hospital zone sir any unnecessary noises never mind that nonsense if that

thing isn't removed immediately i'm gonna have it towed away

your

chief of emergency services dr stanley riverside the second chief of emergency

services yes and he's in my space Well, doctor, I'm giving you a citation for

creating a disturbance in a hospital zone.

Who's next?

Hey, jackpot!

Hold on.

What are you doing here?

Bleeding, baby.

What's your excuse?

Somebody's got to stitch you creeps together.

Come on.

Hey, and where are you taking me?

The grand ballroom. You promised me the next dance.

Room one.

How long have you been having these pains, Mr. Beaumont?

Oh, a couple of days, one and all.

got pretty severe during the night so i figured i'd better come in it

easy

and don't fight it try to relax easy

that's better

you probably think it's a heart attack don't you it's a possibility

no it can't be i

I must have pulled a muscle or something playing racquetball.

I'm admitting you to our coronary care unit, Mr. Beaumont.

We'll run some tests and we'll take it from there, okay?

Good idea.

About you for my annual physical anyway.

Say, is Trapper John around?

You know Dr. McIntyre?

Not personally. We have a mutual friend.

Understand, he's quite a doctor.

He's the best chief of surgery here.

Well, nice to know the old buzzard's doing so well.

Tell him to stop around and see me, will you? I might even let him take over my

case.

Great. He can use the experience.

Dr. Kenyon, please call a page operator.

Oh, Ripples, have you seen Dr. Riverside? He just came in, sir.

And would you do me a favor? I know, I know. Don't call me Ripples.

I can't believe it. He gave me a ticket for nothing.

Stanley, where have you been?

Not now, John. I have a serious problem. What's wrong?

The Titanic is parked in my space.

That's your serious problem?

Isn't that enough?

If that pipsqueak, Gonzo Gates, doesn't move it, I'm calling my father.

Stanley, cool it. Take cover, will you? I gotta get upstairs.

Give Jackpot a hand down in room three. The kid's been on duty all night.

Sit down, Trapper. I'll be with you in a moment.

You know, it's funny. I could have sworn this was my office.

Relax. If I don't clean up your desk, who will?

Come on, Starch. You're a surgical nurse.

You're not expected to do secretarial work.

Well, we certainly can't expect your secretary to do it.

She was hired to sit out there and manicure her nails all day, right?

Now, look, she's only filling in.

Poor kid needed a job. You know, her husband walked out on her. Of course he

did. He was drowning in nail polish.

Move. What?

You know what this is?

No, what? It's your notes on the colostomy we did last week. You thought

you lost them, remember?

And here.

This is addressed to Melanie.

It's the alimony check. She should have gotten this a week ago.

You amaze me, Trapper. You know, you worry more about Melanie than most men

do about their wives.

She is my wife.

Was.

Well, wouldn't it be easier on the both of you if you just remarried?

Look at the postage you'd save.

Yeah, well, I don't know. I mean, you know, she's got her life and I've got

mine.

Well... Uh, come in.

You know a guy named Harry Beaumont?

Beaumont? Uh, sounds familiar.

He's the patient you had me look at this morning.

He'd like you to stop by and say hello.

Beaumont, Beaumont. Do we know him?

I'm no good with names or faces.

If I could see his appendix or his lower intestine, I might recognize him.

This one's in CCU. He's a big fan of yours, Trapper. He says that, uh... Wait

a minute. Harry Beaumont?

Uh, come on. I want to meet this big fan of mine.

Oh, indeed. Email that for me, will you? Yes, Doctor.

Now!

Emergency room.

X-ray technician.

Call the emergency.

And that's all he said, that we had a mutual friend.

When a guy's in pain, he usually isn't very talkative.

Oh, Trapper.

Oh, hi, honey. How are you?

Scared. Worried.

Harry's never been sick a day in his life.

Well, you know Harry Beaumont?

In there.

He's the one that I... Well, Harry and I...

Um... I know.

Oh, he looks terrible, Trapper.

Must be pretty serious.

Well, Dr. Gates knows more about it than I do.

We won't know anything specific until we get the test back, but he's out of

danger for the moment.

For the moment?

That means he could have another attack.

Well, look, honey, the test will tell us what's causing the problem, and then we

can figure out how to fix it.

In fact, I better see how it's coming along. Excuse me.

May I have a cup of coffee?

No, no thanks. I've got to get back to the store.

Trapper, I've got to ask you a big favor.

Sure. I want you to take care of Harry, personally.

Why me?

Because you're the best doctor in the world.

Oh, come on, Melanie. We have a terrific staff here. Some of the best... Oh,

they're not quite as terrific as you are, and you know it.

Please, Trapper.

I want him to have the best.

You will take care of him, won't you?

Melanie.

Jackpot. You still here? We discharged you an hour ago.

Man, I need some stuff.

What stuff?

That happy stuff you got locked up in them cabinets.

Forget it.

Hey, man.

Me and you, we come from the same neighborhood.

I mean, we have got things in common.

So I tell you what.

I'll make you a deal. I'll give you 40% of everything I sell.

No way, man.

Chief of Police gives me 50%. Dr. Citrin, please call the

recovery room. Dr.

Carlson, please call the recovery room.

Dr. Branca, please call the OR.

Dr. Murphy, Branca.

Now, I'll take that.

What, this? Yeah, yeah. Come on, quick. Put it in the sling.

Go on.

What are you going to do with it?

I'm going to get rich, baby.

You know what this stuff's worth on the street?

That's just... Hey, what's in the paper bag there?

It's my lunch. Yeah.

Yeah, sure, sure. It really is. Come on, in it goes.

One word, one sound out of you, I'll be back.

And I'll carve my name in your face.

I.B. Nurse to 4 West. Snap.

IV nurse to 4 West. Stat.

That kid's a little weird.

Why?

He just stole a tuna fish sandwich and a bottle of suppositories.

Mr. Beaumont.

Dr. McIntyre.

Well, well.

Old Trapper John.

Melanie's told me so much about you, I feel like we're old buddies.

Well, she asked me to look in on you.

Listen, no offense to the young man here, but...

If you'd like to take over my case, I'd be tickled to death to let you do it.

Well, we'll talk about that after you've completed your tests.

Don't worry about old Harry. This thing isn't going to slow me down.

Not when there's a beautiful woman like Melanie out there just waiting to get

married.

Yeah, I know.

You know, we postponed the wedding once. I don't want Melanie to be disappointed

again.

Right.

Excuse me, Mr. Beaumont. We'd better let you get some rest.

Why? I feel great.

We want to keep it that way, right, Doctor?

Right.

Nice meeting you, Mr. Belmont.

I know you're waiting to hear it, so I'd better warn you.

Possible abdominal aortic aneurysm.

Oh, great.

He may need surgery.

Could you handle it?

If the patient requests that I do it, I can't very well refuse, can I?

Oh, really?

Listen, if I was still involved with my ex-wife and some dude like Beaumont was

going to marry her, I wouldn't do the surgery. My emotions might get in the

way. I think I can be a little more objective than that.

Oh, man.

I knew you had some faults, Trapper, but I never thought nobility was one of

them.

Dr. Peel, please call your office.

Well, preliminary tests aren't encouraging.

He may have an aneurysm.

We should do an angiogram to find out. And if it's there?

Well, I usually recommend surgery.

Oh, no.

Harry and I were... planning to get married.

I thought you'd cancel those plans.

We did. I did.

But Harry's very persistent.

Should we wait?

Why ask me?

You're the doctor. You know his condition better than I do.

Melanie, if he has an aneurysm, it could pop at any time and he'd be in big

trouble.

On the other hand, it may never go bad.

I mean, he could live a full, happy life without any surgery at all.

That's some answer.

Well, what do you want from me?

What would you do?

If I had it, I'd go for the surgery.

Is it dangerous?

Melanie, there's a risk with any surgery.

You know, you're not being very helpful. I've told you everything I know.

Should I marry him, Trapper?

Look, ask me about the kids, the dogs, the plumbing, the groceries, but don't

ask me a question like that. Come on, be honest with me. You must have an opinion

of him. I do.

I think he's a smug, arrogant, overbearing, patronizing poop.

Okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it.

I'm sure he's a perfectly nice guy. He'll make you very happy.

Oh, how would you know?

You don't even know him.

Yates!

Yates!

Yates!

Gates, what are you doing with this gurney?

You know, Stanley, tradesmen are impossible these days. In spite of my

explicit instructions, they delivered my wine to the hospital instead of...

Chateau Neuf-du-Pape.

Seventy-six?

That's a good year.

Since when, doctor, do we transport wine with hospital gurney? I had to, Stanley.

All the wheelchairs were full.

Hand me those bottles, will you?

You seem to go out of your way to destroy the decorum of this hospital.

Well, if I don't, who will?

Well, it's got to stop, Gates.

This Titanic business, for example. I've been discussing this at great length

with my father. He's chairman of the board, you know.

Yes, you've mentioned it from time to time.

Now, this thing that you live in has got to be removed immediately.

Can't do it, Stanley. Any movement right now might bruise the wine. This is very

delicate stuff.

You don't seem to be listening to me.

Are you going into the hospital?

Of course.

Well, take this gurney with you. I'm through with it.

Gates!

You remove this eyesore at once or I'll tow it away myself!

What's wrong, Stanley?

Morning,

John. What are you doing here?

Ask your friend Gonzo.

Well, take it back, will you? It's cluttering up the parking lot.

76. Excellent year.

Want some?

This early in the morning?

It's better than my coffee.

You said it.

I, um, want to talk to you about Harry Beaumont.

We need to do an angiogram.

I know.

But how do we get his consent? The guy refuses to believe he's sick.

Well, it's the only way we can evaluate his problem. I'll have to talk him into

it. You're really taking a personal interest in this guy, aren't you?

Well, of course. Why not?

Because the sicker he gets, the more Melanie worries about him, right?

Interesting analysis.

What would you do?

First thing I'd do is have breakfast. What are you drinking? Orange juice,

wine, or my coffee?

What the hell is an aneurysm, anyway?

It's a weakness in the wall of the aorta.

Oh, they know I've got it.

They don't. That's why they want the angiogram.

If an aneurysm is there, you may need surgery.

Trapper John tell you that?

He's a terrific guy, old Trapper. I can see why you two had a good thing going.

But I can understand why you left him, too.

He has a tendency to be a little self-serving, wouldn't you say?

What do you mean by that?

Well, let's face it, honey.

Guy is still very much in love with you.

Isn't it to his advantage to let you think I'm some kind of an invalid?

Now, wait a minute, Harry. After all, no woman wants to marry a man who's facing

major surgery.

That's a terrible thing to say. Trapper would never take advantage of a patient

like that.

Honey, I'm not faulting him for it. Under the same conditions, I'd probably

do the same thing.

More.

To win you back again.

Trapper John McIntyre would never let his personal problems interfere with his

medical judgment. Never.

He feels he has a sacred obligation to his patients. They mean more to him than

anything.

Anything? Yes, anything.

Why do you think our marriage went to pieces?

There was always another patient, another phone call, that electronic

beeper calling him back to the hospital.

Well, I guess his work was more important to him than his marriage.

You know, I used to accuse him of that.

But I was wrong.

It was me.

My weakness, not his.

For some reason, I needed more of him than he was able to give.

It really wasn't Trapper's fault.

He was just trying to do his job.

It wasn't Melanie's fault. She had her needs, I had mine.

It's just that after Korea, I... I felt I had to make up for all that time I

lost in the war.

Too busy being a hot shot young doctor.

More coffee?

Melanie kind of lost her sense of identity.

You know, too involved with medicine to notice.

I suppose if I...

been more sensitive to her needs.

Okay.

That was then.

This is now.

Now she's got her own career. She's got a whole new identity, and you're aware

of your past mistakes.

So why not do something about it?

Come on. It's a little late for that.

Well, Harry Beaumont, you want her to marry that clown?

Well, no, but... Well, then go out and get her.

Well, it wouldn't be fair to Beaumont in his condition.

There you go. Getting noble again.

Look, we're doing everything we can to make the patient well, right?

Right. All right, then that takes care of your medical obligations. But when it

comes to love, Trapper, it's a whole new set of rules.

You're allowed to cheat, lie, steal, kick, gouge.

Yeah. Well, you're probably too old for that anyway.

What the hell do you mean? I'm not that old.

Well, we'll see.

I gotta run. Thanks for breakfast.

Well, good morning, you're early yeah stopped in to see Harry on my way to

work Hey,

I got off work tonight at 6 if you're not busy, I'd like to buy you dinner

thanks anyway, but I can't I Not sure I can but I buy

ah Your precious machismo is still intact. I see I'll pick up at the store

at 6 o'clock kid It's a date.

See you then.

Ciao.

Beautiful, isn't it?

Oh, yeah.

Reminds me of that houseboat vacation we took with the kids.

Everybody got boys and oak.

Not everybody, just you.

Are you sure?

Don't you remember?

Couldn't have sex for three weeks.

Right, I remember.

A woman came into the store the other day covered with poison oak.

She didn't buy anything, but by the time she left, everybody on the floor was

scratching.

You really enjoy that place, don't you?

Now that I'm assistant buyer in sportswear, I'm ready to work 27 hours a

day.

Like you, Trevor.

Now I can understand how you feel about your work.

Yeah, but I don't let my work control my life anymore.

I think I finally realize that there are more important things than working

yourself to death.

Oh, I agree.

Completely.

My job is important, but it isn't my own life.

There are other things far more valuable.

The kids.

My home.

A little time to be with someone I love.

The way I feel, exactly.

I'd rather be with somebody I love.

Somebody that really mattered, instead of... Well... What

are you trying to say?

Oh, come on, Mellon. You know damn well what I'm trying to say.

Oh, Trapper.

It's taken me all this time to get my life sorted out.

All nice and orderly.

Everything and everyone in its place. I know who I am and what I want.

Do you?

Yes, I do.

I think I do.

And now, well, you're going to start messing everything up.

It's like old times.

Um, you get it done? Mm-hmm.

Mr. McIntyre, put me through to the page operator, please.

Sorry, Beaumont.

Some problems.

This one may be leaking.

Schedule the angiogram.

Okay, Mr. Beaumont.

Let's have a look here.

Sorry. I'm afraid we can't wait any longer.

We've got to do the angiogram.

It'll tell us where the problem is and what we have to do to fix it.

Surgery? Probably.

See, the angiogram is the blueprint, the road map for the operation.

Well, if it has to be done, I want you to do the job.

Melanie says you're the best in the field.

Mr. Beaumont, I'm afraid that... Not just for my benefit.

For your sake, too.

Operation like this is a terrific opportunity for you, old man.

You'll have Melanie's undying gratitude for making me well.

And your kids.

I think how proud they'll be knowing that their father gave their new

stepfather a whole new life.

Well, I hate to blow the opportunity, Harry, but you see, I have an emotional

involvement in this case that might tend to hamper my efficiency.

I understand.

You probably hate my guts, if for all the obvious reasons, but I'm sure you

can handle that.

Don't bet on it.

I've been known to be unreasonably hostile and unforgiving.

Right, Doctor?

Oh, yes. He's a terrible, terrible, petty, spiteful, antagonistic, very...

difficult man so i think it's better for both of us if somebody else does the

surgery we have a very good vascular team here and of course dr gates who's

far more qualified than i am considering the circumstances anyway one step at a

time we need your consent for the angiogram if you think it's absolutely

necessary i do and it is schedule it

What have we got?

Hey, Jackpot. Oh, cool. Not you again. What is it this time?

Some geeks from Market Street. They keep ganging up on me.

Let's go.

Hey, hold it, baby.

Who's the dude on vacation?

It's one of our doctors.

It's his day off.

Yeah? Far out.

Let's go.

We are simply going to have to pull ourselves together around here.

All right, let's put him in room two.

Jackpot, I'll take this when you take room four. Why?

Well, room four is a stomach pump job, and I just got this coat back from the

cleaners.

All right, multiple lacerations and contusions.

Uh, possible orbital fracture.

Hey, Doc.

Yes, son?

You want to buy some hot suppositories?

Move along. We don't have all day.

Dr. Gates.

Hey, care to join me?

When are you going to invest in a telephone? It's a long walk over here.

Hey, don't knock it. It's a chance to get a little exercise, breathe some

fresh air.

Come on up. Flex those sagging muscles.

Touche.

Chateau Neuf de Pape, 76.

You'll love it.

Not now.

Radiology just sent me the report on Beaumont's angiogram.

Bet? It's terrible.

You'll want to look at these.

When do you want me to schedule surgery?

Tomorrow. Early.

Let me hang on to this stuff, all right? I want to study it carefully tonight.

It's all yours.

I'll notify the rest of the team.

Stay put.

Drink your wine. Get some sun.

i could not believe my eyes when i saw it i mean just look look at that look at

that it's it's disgusting our own chief surgeon languishing on top of that

motorhome something's got to be done

I'm the devil, Gonzo.

Beaumont's going into shock.

What's happening? He's not going to make it till morning.

Call Starch. Start scrubbing. You're going to operate now.

Jackpot.

It's with Angie Graham. The x-ray is a whole schmear out in Titanic.

I'll need him for surgery. Will you get him for me? On my way.

I need the vascular clamps for the aorta. Uh-huh.

And I want 6-0 Tebdek for the anastomosis.

Trapper always uses 6-0 nylon.

It's because he's older than I am.

Gonzo, Gonzo, it's gone.

What's gone? Everything, the Titanic.

It isn't out there. The whole thing's disappeared.

I told you, it's gone.

Yeah.

You simply do not keep a motor home in a hospital parking lot. I mean, that's

just not done.

Now, I have had as much as I am going to take from this upstart Gonzo Gates.

From now on, it is out-and-out war.

All right, Stanley, what did you do with it?

Pardon? The Titanic.

You had it towed away, didn't you?

Towed away?

Me?

Why would I do a thing like that? That's your property.

Listen, Stanley.

I've got a patient in surgery right now, but his angiogram is inside the Titanic,

and the Titanic is gone.

Now, if you don't tell me what you did with it... Nothing. Nothing. I swear it.

I... cross my heart i would never do something like that never i mean i know

i've said a few things but that was just kidding i called the cops they haven't

seen it you've been ripped off man damn

we don't have time to run another angiogram what the hell am i

gonna do you're going to assist i'll be doing the surgery Why? Don't you think

I'm capable?

Of course you're capable. It's just that I've clocked about 25 more years than

you have. But you've got a personal stake in this. No, that's my problem.

You know what you're doing? You're pulling that nobility garbage again.

It's a flaw in my character. Trapper? Please, would you shut up and wash your

hands? We've got a long night ahead of us.

Pressure steady at 120 over 80. Pulse 81.

Looks good.

I've got a small bleeder here, but I can't seem to find it.

Okay,

more suction.

Aha, there it is.

Just above the clamp.

Got it. Very good.

Patcher's still good.

Okay.

All right, patcher's in.

Release the clamps.

Let's hope it works.

Well, that A order was pretty raunchy.

It's leaking. Damn.

Clamps. Get them back on real quick.

Stitch.

Miss Rothbaum, please report to Chief Nurse's office.

It was a long one, but it went pretty well.

He's all right?

I can't tell yet. We'll have to wait till he wakes up.

Two or three hours.

Come on.

Let's have some breakfast.

Dr. Gates?

Yes, Shapiro? I have a message for you from Dr. Jackson.

From Jack Punnett? Yes, sir. He called about an hour ago, said he had a lead on

the Titanic.

He wants you to meet him at this address.

Okay, Shapiro, thanks.

Seemed to be moving up in the world, Polo.

Found this in your garbage pail.

You seem to have developed an excellent taste in wine.

I learned it from my sweet old mom.

She dug muscatel.

Where's the Titanic, Polo? How do I know, man?

I'm a wine collector.

I don't dig RVs.

I think you're lying.

Yeah, man, you accused in the old crank. Yeah, no, no, I Think you're too smart

for that Paula, but you probably know the morons who did steal it

What do you mean morons I just hope

they're not friends of yours because when they find out what they've got

gonzo Let me put it this way I'm awfully glad they took it off

our hands.

Yeah, what's the matter with it?

Well, I shouldn't be telling you this, but, uh... Gonzo, why not? These guys

would understand.

Yeah, but what about the health department? And the big dudes in

Washington? You think they'd understand?

Uh-uh. And if the FAPC&R ever found out we've been talking... Hey, man, man,

man. What is this, um... F-A... F-A-P-C thing? What is that? It's the Federal

Association for the Protection of Classified Nuclear Radioactivity. Gonzo!

Yeah, you're right. You're right.

I'm sorry, fellas. I can't talk about it.

But listen, those guys with the Titanic, have you noticed their hair falling out,

anything? Oh, that wouldn't happen that fast. Well, maybe not right away, but

the impotence might.

Impotence? Sterility, too.

Starts with a rash, you know, itchy skin.

A few scabs here and there.

But it's not your problem, right?

Just be glad you're not involved.

We gotta run, Jack. Right.

Those poor jerks.

I wonder how they're gonna look.

Bald.

See ya.

Have a good day.

I will get you ten and I'll have it back by midnight.

I'll think after that.

Hi,

Harry.

How are you?

Fine. Thanks. I've had lunch.

Oh, Harry.

you feel terrific three days sure make a difference you look so much better yeah

well big inconvenience all this stuff now we'll have to postpone the wedding

again well no big deal well i mean the important thing is your

health harry and now trapper says you're going to be stronger than ever he did

the surgery you know yeah i know he's some guy old trapper

Quite a guy. I get the feeling I'm going to be competing with him all my life.

Harry.

Listen, Melanie.

When a man gets so close to death the way I did, he starts seeing things more

clearly.

I've got no right to take you away from a man who looms so large in your life.

I'm asking for something you're not ready to give.

Look, I don't mind competition. In fact, I enjoy it.

Trapper's one guy I can't compete with.

19 years with you.

He's just holding too many cards.

I want you to be happy, Melanie.

Things being what they are.

So go on.

Get out of my life, okay?

You know something, Harry?

You're beautiful.

Mr. Beaumont, forgive me, I couldn't help overhearing.

That was a truly wonderful thing you just did.

Giving up a woman that you obviously adore.

Give the kid time.

She'll be back.

Sorry it took so long.

Like it?

Tell me, why is everybody in this world getting older and older?

Except you.

Last time I wore this thing was about ten months ago.

We were celebrating the fourth anniversary of our divorce. Remember?

Maybe this time we can celebrate something a little happier.

We just get away for the weekends, just the two of us.

I'd love to grab her.

I really would.

But inventory at the store this weekend.

Come on, you're not the only one that works there, are you?

My department, my responsibility.

Oh, boy.

Here we go again.

Same old obstacles.

You know, Melanie, when two people are in love, they shouldn't let their jobs

interfere with their personal lives, would you?

You still have tonight.

You don't have to answer it, do you?

I don't know. I don't have to answer.

dr mcintyre here put me through to the page operator please uh mcintyre

what's happening uh-huh

okay i'll be right thank you

that's a year

old kid bleeding internally

One of my patients.

Here we go again.

Call me when you get him.

Need any help?

No, thanks. I can handle it.

How about you?

John, did you notice it's back? The Titanic, it's back.

Oh, glad to hear it.

That proves I had nothing to do with its disappearance.

Oh, really?

Did you notice it's parked in your space?