Original subtitles

Hi! I'm Patrick Star!

Hi! I'm Patrick Star!

And I live with my parents! Ow!

This is my dad!

This is my mom!

This is my sister! She's shy.

This is my grandpa!

This is my room!

And this...

This is my show!

Okay, everyone!

Boot loaf is ready!

Mmmm!

Oh, I love homemade boot loaf.

Everyone knows the best part is...

The toe!

-I want it! -No! I want it!

Sorry, kiddos,

but tonight, the toe goes to your father.

That's right!

I'm cashing in my dad privilege!

I remember when I used to have dad privilege.

No fair!

How come I don't get any dad privileges?

All I get is this stupid, yucky heel.

Blah!

Tastes like bunions.

Stupid dad privileges.

But lucky for me,

I gots me secret ice cream stash

hidden behind the couch!

It's time for a big ol' sundae!

And everyone knows the best part of a sundae

is the cherry on top!

Yummy!

Yoink! Dad tax!

Huh?!

Love my dad privileges.

Mmm.

I want dad priveges.

I wanna be a dad!

Oh, son.

There's only one way to become a dad.

By being elected!

Yup, the election is every other year,

and I always win by a landslide.

-Not this time!

'Cause this time I'mrunning for Dad

and I'm gonna win!

Are you tired of dads not working for you?

Like some old busted boatmobile?

Hey!

Let's face it.

Dad privileges are leaving us

with rumbly tummies,

and the allowance they give us isn't keeping up

with today's ice cream prices.

You shouldn't have to live in fear

of every finger you're made to pull.

This dad's just sad!

Plus look how lame he looks in this picture.

Now he looks more lame with this goofy eye patch!

-Huh?! Wait.

He looks like some cool pirate guy!

Uh, I'll just add another eye patch and...

Oh no! Now he's got cool guy sunglasses!

-He looks so awesome!

And relatable!

Stop!

Stop this ad!

It's over! Commercial over!

I'm Patrick and I confuse this message.

The ad's a good start!

But if you really wanna see results,

you gotta talk to voters door to door!

Door to door, huh?

Oh! Here's a door!

Hello, sir and/or madam.

I'm running for Dad this year.

Can I count on your vote?

What your stance on dinosaur?

Uh...

Against!

Uh, I mean for!

That went great!

-On to the next--

Hello, sir and/or madman.

I'm dadding for run electrician.

Can I count on your coat?

How do you feel about beheadings?

Like I could really use one right now.

Then you have my allegiance.

Gotta love the dad privileges.

Breaking news! Perch Perkins here

with hard-hitting election coverage.

New blood Patrick Star joins the race for Dad this year

with his competition trailing far behind in the polls.

That's my boy.

Cream that loser, Patrick!

Joining us live from the scene is Squidina Star.

Thanks, Perch.

I'm here with incumbent recumbent Dad, Cecil Star.

Huh?

Cecil, some say

you aren't taking this campaign seriously

and unless you kick things into high gear, you're out as Dad.

Your response?

Oh! Uh...

Well, I-I haven't really

put anything new together.

Uh, but if it ain't broke, don't fix it, right?

Anyway, roll that classic tape!

Hey, all you groovy chicks and dudes!

It would be totally "disco"

if you voted for me, Cecil, to be Dad!

-Whoa! -Ooh!

I'd, uh, make your lives 100% more groovy, baby!

Dig it?

So vote for Cec--

...Cecil for Dad!

It's time for the Dad Debate!

Good evening! Tonight, our Dad nominees will Dad-Debate

over who would make a better Dad!

First question: why should you be elected as Dad?

Patrick Star.

I should be elected Dad

because my dad is bad at being a dad.

A complete idiot would be a better dad.

And I am that complete idiot.

Cecil? Your response.

Now look.

Pobody's nerfect!

Listen. I don't pretend

to have everything figured out,

but I should be elected Dad because I ama dad!

And I've been a dad since the day my opponent was born!

Moving right along--

Excuse me!

Excuse me!

Hehas been abusing his dad privileges for years!

Eating all the food while his children starve!

In fact, he is doing it right now!

Well, to be fair, I pay for all the food in the Star household!

Mmm!

Excuse me. Excuse me!

Can I have a bite?

Of course, son!

Here comes the hot dog plane!

Open the hangar, son!

Can we, uh, get back to the debate, fellas?

Oh yeah! Sorry!

Next dad question:

What is the optimal dad thermostat temperature?

-Cecil? -Ha! That's easy!

The correct temperature for the thermostat is off.

If you're cold, put on a sweater.

If you're hot, strip down to your underwear.

-Huh?

-Uh-oh!

You know what that siren means!

It's time for the Dad Grill-Off Challenge!

Two dads!

Two grills!

Two minutes to determine who is the ultimate grill mas--

Patrick?! Did you just eat all the grilling gear?

Uh...

No.

You know what?

Let's just do the dadgum evening wear competition.

First up, Cecil Star,

looking absolutely fabulous in this sparkly scarlet ensemble

from the collection of Bunny Star.

Mwah!

So that's where that dress went!

I'll tell ya one thing!

He's got myvote!

And here comes Patrick Star

shakin' his dad maracas in this festive getup,

also from the collection of Bunny Star.

So that'swhere that fruit salad went!

I'll tell ya one thing!

He's got myvote!

-Well, this is it!

May the best dad win!

Yeah!

Good luck, future son!

And there you have it, folks!

This will be the final plea to dad voters.

So now the big question is, who will be elected Dad?

We'll find out tonight!

Two hours later...

Here we go!

Folks are lined up out the door to vote at the Star home!

Voter turnout is through the roof!

From here on out, it's a race between

the two most iconic colors in politics:

lavender and mint!

The polls have officially closed

and the Dad results are in!

Patrick Star received 18 votes

and Cecil Star pulled in...

57 votes!

Woo! In your face, son!

Yeah. In your face, son.

Now, hang on, everybody!

It's not over!

-It's not?

With 10,304 write-in votes,

the winner is...

Bunny Star!

Woo-hoo!

In bothyour handsome little faces.

Hand it over!

Okay, okay.

Congratulations, honey.

As Dad, I promise a boot loaf on every plate

and clean underwear for all!

I'm disappointed, but congratulations, Mom-Dad.

Now, I'm gonna ease my sorrow

by eating some ice cream,

starting with the cherry.

Yoink!

Dad tax!

Mmm.

Ah, there's nothing like managing

a perfectly-run grocery store.

Sweet Neptune! The Stars are coming!

-Employees!

To the panic room!

What? What's happening?

Oof!

Hurry!

Employees contained.

Shopping!

It's okay, everyone.

We'll be safe down here until the Stars leave.

Wha... What-what about the customers?

They're on their own.

All right, family.

Go get some groceries!

I'm just here for the free samples!

Ooh!

-No line cutting!

Didn't care much for those.

How 'bout these?

Two for one?!

Wow!

Looking for the best can.

Ah, there it is.

Whoa! Whoa! Gah!

Takes me back to my log-rolling days as a lumberjack.

Hey, Mom, how do you know when they're ripe?

Give 'em a gentle squeeze!

You want them to have about as much give

as your father's head!

Hmm... No, this one isn't nearly spongy enough!

Ow! Timber!

A sneeze guard, huh?

Well, it won't guard against my sneeze.

-Ah! -Whoa, whoa!

Eh, don't worry. We're safe down here.

Another successful shopping trip.

Say, uh, where's the cashier?

Where's anybody?

Maybe they're back here!

No dice.

But I did find this fetching vest!

Ooh la la.

Excuse me.

Do you know where the Diet Kelp is?

Diet Kelp?

Uh, don't you work here?

I guess someone's got to!

Here, family!

Ooh!

-Beep-beep!

Paper, plastic, or body bag?

Occupied!

All right, break's over!

-Back to work! - Yes, sir!

Oops!

Oh dear. I am so sorry about the mess.

Don't worry about it.

In fact, do it again.

This time with feeling!

Hi-yah!

Uh, lady, you're nuts.

Oh, nuts are in aisle seven.

That enough?

No. I need more.

More!

You got it, boss.

That's it. Keep going.

More. More!

Here you are, sir.

Oh, thank you.

Have a nice day!

Someone's been helping themselves to the merchandise!

Good thing store security's on the case!

Excuse me, sir.

Where might I find the denture cream?

Why? You're gonna steal that too?!

You're under grocery arrest!

Free samples! Get your free samples!

Samples?

Of food?

For free?

Hang on, everyone!

Ooh!

Don't mind if I do!

-Tom! -Wait!

He's not a toothpick!

Ah!

Are you alright, son?

I'm better than alright.

I got food!

Let's all be toothpicks!

Wow. I bought a lot of groceries.

Do you charge for bags?

Oh, don't worry.

I can fit all that in one bag!

Your legs!

Thanks for shopping!

There must be a way to make them leave.

But how?

There is one customer who can get rid of anybody.

Oh no. Not her.

She would be even worse.

Worse than this?

Thinly-sliced Patrick in the deli section!

Let's do it.

Fifty percent off. Fifty percent off.

-Fifty percent off.

Fifty percent off!

Did somebody say 50% off?

Welcome, valued customer!

What?

The Star family is working here?

-How nice...

Nice to have someone new to torment.

She's here.

The Stars don't stand a chance.

Uh-oh. Looks like somebody made a little mess.

But that's okay.

You can make an even bigger mess!

Like this!

Hi-yah!

-Now off you go. -Hey! Ow!

What's wrong with you? Ah!

Okay, Meat Boy.

-I want-- -Four!

Number four!

Take a number please, ma'am.

Take a number.

I'll show you a number,

you bobble-headed looking...

Now serving...

Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga,

chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga...

Choo-choo!

What?! The next number is supposed to be--

-All aboard!

Here you go!

Someone's coming!

Act stick-like!

Free sample! Help yourself!

Free?! My favorite flavor.

Go get 'em, girls.

Dartfish, dart!

Huh?

Wow! We hit the jackpot!

We're eating good tonight!

That's it!

I wanna speak to your manager.

This is it, everyone.

-It's going down.

I have a complaint!

Where's the manager?!

Would the manager

please come to the front?

Manager? Oh!

Manager?

Manager?

Manager?

Woo!

Manager!

How may I help you, ma'am?

I've had the worst day in your store!

I came here for my 50% off

and I'm not leaving till I get it!

Well, you're in luck!

'Cause here at Scuttle-N-Save...

...the customer is always right.

Now hold still...

...while we take 50% off.

- Ugh! Oh!

Well, it's about time I get my 50% off.

Looks like our shift's over.

Time to clock out!

Manager away!

They're gone.

The nightmare is over.

That's what you think.

We're not done shopping yet!

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