Original subtitles

♪

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Do you remember where we were at this time,

on this day 20 years ago?

Eww! Come on, there's young ears around.

Why would you even have that conversation around us?

We weren't doing that. Your dad was proposing to me.

Dad, you proposed to Mom at 8:00 AM with sleep in her eye,

looking a hot mess?

Come on, Dad, that's a rookie maneuver!

Your mom never looks a hot mess.

Look at her.

Now, a lukewarm mess, yeah, that's very often.

I had planned on proposing at dinner,

but I was just too excited.

You must've really been in love with Mom, huh, Dad?

Yeah, yeah, a long time ago. I actually loved her.

- That's so romantic. - It was.

Your daddy was so cute.

So what did you think? Was it a good proposal?

Absolutely not.

He, like, took the ring out of the box and...

"So what do you think about that?"

I thought it was real player like.

What woman wants their husband talking about being a player?

After a guy spends a lot of money on a ring,

why are there rules on how he should deliver it

after he spent thousand...

hundreds of dollars on it? Ooh, shade.

Because some thought should go into it.

You have so much to learn about women.

I thought you was gonna be happy.

I know you wanted to get married

and it took every penny I had to buy that ring.

Mm, yeah, we did have to eat a lot of ramen noodles

after you bought this ring.

Roughing it, baby. Young and in love, mm!

Yeah, I'm never doing that.

How was the wedding, Mom?

Yeah, we went to the justice of the peace.

I didn't have a dress.

There was no family there, no friends.

We just had each other and that's all we needed.

We were so broke, our rehearsal dinner

was hamburgers at Four Guys.

Dang, Dad, you couldn't afford the extra guy?

I know. But now we can.

And that's why...

Oh my god. Dad!

We're gonna do it right this time.

What are you doing?

Leah Renee Washington?

Mm-hmm, that's me.

Will you marry me again?

What are you talking about, boy?

I'm talking about us being like Martin and Coretta.

Renewing our vows. What you say?

Oh, that's a great idea, baby!

Like this time with a dress, with family, friends.

Mm-hmm.

And something a little bit better than burgers.

What do you say?

I do, I do, I do!

Of course I do! Oh, baby!

Okay, I'm going to tell everybody.

Okay. Ask them if they can help us pitch in.

-Okay! - Put it all together.

So Dad, uh, when you were saying you wanted to be more

like Michael and Loretta, who was that again?

I said Martin and Coretta.

Martin Luther King and his wife, Coretta?

Oh.

- Boy, stop playing. - Oh, he's not playing, Dad.

You have so much to teach your youngest son.

How you know I got other kids?

- You do? - Nah, nah, I'm just kidding.

All right, yeah, man, I was just playing.

I knew that, I knew that.

You know who Rosa Parks is, right?

She the one who... put the roses in the parks.

Harriet Tubman?

She invented the hot tub, Dad, come on.

George Washington Carver?

George Washington Carver.

What, George Washington Carv--Carv--Carver, okay.

He carved the--the statue...

Congratulations, Philip.

You just earned yourself a nice Black history class today.

♪

♪ No matter what you do, I love you ♪

♪ No matter where you go, I'm behind you for sure ♪

♪ Always remember, blood ain't never water ♪

♪ We'll make it if we stay together ♪

♪

Philip, what are you doing surfing the internet when

everybody's running around,

preparing for tomorrow's ceremony?

My dad's making me read up on Black history.

That does not look like Black history.

It looks like a woman who's suffering from hypothermia

'cause she can't stop shaking.

It's called twerking.

I honestly didn't know where to start,

so I'm watching a music video.

Black history began the way human history began:

Africa, for we are the world's first people.

We built great kingdoms like Axum

and amazing cities like Timbuktu.

I never learned that in school.

That is because they don't want you to know about your

powerful history.

I'll have to leave you to your research.

I have to drive to the florist to order some flowers.

You know you can just order them online, right?

Oh yes, but online you don't get to meet

the person behind the counter.

And you may never know,

it could be an older woman with an apple bottom

with a thing for sexy Black African men.

I like your style!

We Black people, we're a hopeful people.

Young man, I'm off to get the cake, but I had to ask.

Do you really not know who Rosa Parks is?

I've heard the name.

But you must remember the deeds,

hers and those other heroes like Tubman, and Truth, and Douglass,

and DuBois, and Martin, and Malcolm, and Medgar,

and--and those countless other

brothers and sisters through time

who fought for our equality, our rights,

and our humanity.

Now...

Where was I going?

To go pick up the cake.

Yes, I almost forgot.

Philip, darling. I know you're studying,

but I didn't want you to forget about our entertainers.

Oh, like the singers and comedians.

Yes, like the sports stars, the dancers,

the actors like Ossie Davis.

You know, we were on Broadway together.

He starred in "A Raisin in the Sun"

and I starred in "A Chitlin on the Moon."

That play was on Broadway?

Broadway adjacent.

But anyway, in Black history

there are more than performers and creators.

There are scientists and inventors that found a way

to shine in spite of those that were hell bent on

snuffing out their light.

Who wants to snuff out our light?

Don't worry about it, darling,

because our light is so bright and fabulous

that no one will ever be able to put it out.

Speaking of fabulous,

I have to go and buy my dress for tomorrow.

You have millions of dresses in your closet.

Oh darling, they're all couture.

My mother told me...

...it would be a sin to outshine the bride.

- Yo! -What's up, brah?

So, I heard you've been learning about Black history.

Yeah, and it's cool and everything.

Trust me, I appreciate and respect the people that came

before me and all the things they did, but--

It feels like ancient history, right?

I feel you, bro.

Like, as important as Black history is to know,

it just doesn't feel super relevant for our generation,

you know? - Right.

Like, like, like trust me, I think it's dope that--

that they built a huge empire 2,000 years ago--

But we're tired of being followed around in a mall

like we stole something right now, today.

Exactly! Like, like,

I don't want that soggy lasagna from that janky food court.

Sounds like you wanna learn about some modern Black history.

Yeah, no cap.

Okay, but I can do you one better.

We can make some modern-day Black history right now.

How?

There's a rally downtown, all right?

We can show up for our community

and--and--and protest police brutality.

Bet. Let's do it!

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Ah! Okay.

The cake is ordered.

The flowers are taken care of.

The food is set.

And I got my dress.

Mm-hmm.

Instead of worrying about whatever is in your phone,

you should be worried about the ceremony tomorrow, Jeremy.

Baby, I've been ready. Come on, now. Stop it.

Okay, you weren't ready 20 years ago.

- I married you, didn't I? - Finally.

Sorry, are we interrupting anything?

Oh no, we was just-- we was talking.

Oh. Okay, you know what?

We just wanted to stop by to make sure everything is

in order for the big day tomorrow.

Slowly but surely.

- All right. - Oh, good.

You know what? I also--I got my dress.

And I just wanted to thank you

for making me your maid of honor.

I mean, you know what? The honor is all mine.

I'm so happy for you guys.

Thank you, Cora.

And I'm honored that y'all let me be the main preacher at y'all

little do-over wedding, yeah?

Hey, tell me--tell me how y'all want this to go down.

Tell me what you want me to do.

Well, what are our options?

Okay, uh, let me see.

I got the Prince package, 'cause I work in packages.

- The Prince package? - Oh!

What's the Prince package?

That's where I drive in a little red Corvette

wearing a raspberry beret

and I let the doves go and make 'em cry.

That sounds like a PETA violation to me.

What else you got?

I got the Michael package.

Yeah, the Michael package, I come in in Billie Jeans

and I do really, really bad stuff

until y'all get mad and y'all just tell me, beat it.

All your packages sound bad, Mr. Brown.

You wanna be starting something?

Hm? Hm? -Mister Brown?

You don't have, like, a normal, simple,

everyday ceremony where, you know,

you come in with the "Dearly beloved" and then, you know,

we exchange vows, woompty-woomp, then, you may kiss the bride,

push through, that's it?

- You aren't playing. -Keep it pushing.

Woompty-woomp, keep it pushing?

That's not something you would say

if you were into this, Jeremy.

What do you mean if I was into this?

This was my idea. I'm the one that planned this.

It was your idea because you messed up the first time

and I practically had to drag you down the altar.

Shut up, she had to drag you? You didn't wanna be there?

Mr. Brown, get out of these people's business.

I do, Cora!

No, that's okay, Mr. Brown.

The only reason we're together is because I gave Mr. Jeremy,

like, a series of ultimatums.

Really? Can you stop playing?

That is not what happened. - Oh.

That's not true. You know that's not true.

Oh please, you just wanted to play around

with your little friends

and go to all the clubs until I finally gave you

an ultimatum and told you

that either we were going to be serious

or you can lose my number.

So you were trying to tell me

Jeremy was a Santa Claus in them streets?

- What's that supposed to mean? - Ho, ho, ho!

Mr. Brown! You know what?

Hey, guys, we're gonna leave.

Nuh-uh, Cora, I'm not gonna miss this.

I wanna see this.

Somebody gotta be a witness, call the police.

And then, after we made it official,

he wanted to just date for a few years,

talking about we'll-- "We'll see what happens."

- Nah, he didn't! - Ha! Yes, he did.

Mm, so I said, "Either we move in together

or I'mma move forward apart."

Ha, ha, ha! - Man, amen!

Just wait a minute. Hold up, wait.

You mean to tell me

you took this sweet, innocent little angel

and you made a sinner out of her?

You know it said in the Word that thou should not watcheth

the movie and just chill. You should marry.

And then I had to give him a final ultimatum and told him

if he was gonna just keep dragging his feet,

then I was done, done, done!

D-U-N, son, done!

- You know what I'm done with? - Oh, what you done with?

This conversation.

- Oh yeah? - Mm-hmm.

- That's right? - That's right.

- Mm! - See look,

we've been married for 20 years, all right?

We have two beautiful children.

That's a lie.

We have a wonderful life together.

And you still living in the past.

Stuff that you should've been past by now.

I mean, or at least a sane person would.

Oh, and you don't never play the crazy card with

a Black woman, you know that.

He done played the wrong card, playa.

So you're saying a sane person should be past this, huh?

Well, maybe we should be past

this whole renew our vows ceremony.

All right, whatever. If that's what you wanna do.

Oh, okay.

Mr. Brown, I've decided what package we'll take.

What's that?

We're gonna take the Empty package.

'Cause there will not be a ceremony tomorrow.

No, wait!

You don't ever, ever call a Black woman crazy.

You might as well go take your dingus

and throw it in the garbage disposal, boy.

I didn't call her crazy.

You don't even imply nothing like that.

Man, I taught you better than that!

Lay it on me, playa.

Okay, lesson number one. Pay attention.

Before you get ready to make out,

make sure they take their dentures out, all right?

I'm serious, man. - That is disgusting.

I know it is. It happened to me, man.

I'm trying to tongue wrestle with Flat Booty Trudy, man,

check this out.

Her dentures fell out of her mouth into my mouth.

I almost--it's unbelievable, man.

Look, man, I didn't come here

to hear your tales from the crypt, all right?

I'm here to know if I was right about Leah

or she has a point and I need to apologize.

Okay, lesson number two.

Whenever you're having an argument with your lady,

you need to ask yourself,

number one, do you wanna be right,

or number two, do you wanna be together?

What do that even mean?

You concentrating so hard to win the fight and she's gonna

leave you, congratulations, you done lost the war, dumbass.

So you're saying I should apologize, basically.

Worked out for me and Flat Booty Trudy.

She called me up the other day, said,

"I'm sorry my dentures fell out in your mouth."

I'm like, "What?"

"I'm sorry my dentures fell out in your mouth."

And now I'm hooking up with her gummy ass next Tuesday.

Hello, Son, how was the march?

It was straight fire.

I mean, thousands of people came together

to peacefully protest police brutality.

I mean, straight good vibes. And then let me tell you--

Hold up, Philip, okay.

You can tell your dad about your march later on

'cause your dad has a march he needs to attend.

What march?

You need to march your ass upstairs

and apologize to your wife.

All right, man.

Hey, don't tell him those stories about Big Booty Trudy,

all right?

Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye.

We are gathered here today for this most suspicious occasion,

to--to gather today to join Jeremy...

what's your middle name?

- Delonte. - Delonte.

Jeremy De--you don't have no apostrophes in there?

Just say it. It don't--it don't matter.

You can't pronounce an apostrophe.

Just say it. - All right, all right.

Jeremy Delonte without no apostrophes Washington.

We join him today with...

We join him today with...

Is she back there?

We join him today--my freestyle,

I don't have a whole bunch of freestyle,

so I just don't make--

Look everybody, uh...

Excuse me.

Leah's not here yet, all right?

And... I just wanna take this time

to let all my friends and family know

that I appreciate y'all

and I've always loved that woman.

Aww!

Yeah, yeah.

I know Leah still feels some type of way because, you know,

I was a little laid back about our relationship back then,

but that did not mean I didn't love her.

I was laid back about everything:

school, work, you name it.

I guess I was just a little immature back then.

A little immature?

Man, didn't y'all tell me he put his tongue on a cold pole,

and they had to call the fire truck to get him off?

Okay, I was extremely immature.

But the point is...

it may have took me some nudging to put a ring on it.

But I thank God every single day for bringing me

that strong Black woman

and getting me to where I need to be.

And you still have her.

Aww!

Where she belongs.

By your side.

Baby.

You are the best thing that's ever happened to me.

And that's including the kids.

If I can go back in time and tell that teenager

in that roller rink what I know today...

I'da proposed to you right then and there.

I'm sorry I'm late.

I thought a lot about our conversation last night.

And how slow we were to get to the altar the first time.

- Mm-hmm. - And then I realized

that it never matters how you get there.

You can walk, you can drive, you can take a train--

Take an electric scooter.

I don't care how you get there.

Just get there if you can.

An electric scooter.

The how doesn't matter.

The only thing that matters is that you get home.

And you're my home, Jeremy.

Aww!

Baby, you are my home.

Wait, you thought about this last night?

- Uh-huh! - Why you late?

I overslept.

You got me talking to these people I don't even like?

That was cold. That's cold.

A woman with two kids, a job, and a husband that snores

doesn't play when she gets an opportunity to sleep in.

Uh, uh, before y'all put us both to sleep,

I gotta get this rented tuxedo back in a few minutes.

Can y'all jump the broom or sweep the mop,

or whatever y'all want, just so we can get it done.

Shoulda took it back when you got it.

You're looking like a black fly.

This is great? This is great.

Okay.

Jumping the broom symbolizes sweeping away the past.

Are you ready for our future?

You know I am.

- On three? - On three?

- On three? - Okay.

One, two, three.

I now give to you Jeremy and Leah Washington!

How does my booty look in this dress?

It look good. Now, you should try and save some booty.

- I got plenty. - You got that bad hip.

It's the knees, baby, it's the knees.

Hey, guys!

What you talkin' 'bout, boy?

What you doin' up so late?

I'm making a "I Can't Breathe" sign.

Boy, go to bed.

The next Black Lives Matter march ain't till next month.

I know, but...

after everything I've learned, I wanna do something today.

Like, today, right now.

You can do something today right now.

You can start working on yourself to make yourself

a successful young man.

Mm-hmm, get educated, vote for candidates

that respect our community.

Build a career and a family of your own that shines as

an example of Black excellence.

That's how you can work every day

to make the changes you wanna see.

And we like what you doin' for a change.

Proud of you, Son.

But now... we have to say goodnight.

Wait, wait, wait, your bedroom isn't that way.

Uh, well, tonight it is, 'cause we staying at a hotel.

Yeah, we didn't get to go on our honeymoon the first time,

so we about to make up for it, dawg!

Woooo!

Eww, man, that's gross!

I'mma protest what y'all talk about right now.

Go to bed, boy!

♪

♪

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