Original subtitles

♪

No... don't--don't do it, don't do it, don't do it!

- He's going to do it! - Don't do it! He did it!

Why would he do that?

No, no, don't go in there.

Why you going in there?

Don't go--he finna die, why would he do that?

Dawg!

There's no more coming on the screen.

I can't--my body can't even move,

I'm so traumsized.

Traumatized... huh?

Same thing happened to me the first time I saw it.

I didn't eat meat for almost 24 hours.

Nah, nah...

Which is a long time for an African.

I was taught to eat the pig from the rudder to the tudder.

So, how do you feel now?

I feel like....

I feel like I wanna throw up that eight strips of bacon

that I ate this morning.

"What the Well-ness," it does it to everybody

that watches it.

I don't think I'm ever gon' eat meat again.

Oh, no, no, no, you have to take it slowly.

I would suggest you move slowly away from meat.

Nah, nah, mm-mm,

I--I'm never eating meat as long as I live.

- No? - Nah-um, not me.

So, you're becoming a vegetarian?

What kind of freak-- what kind of stuff you into?

A vegetarian is somebody that doesn't eat meat.

Oh!

A pescatarian is somebody that consumes fish,

and a flexitarian is somebody that has a vegetable diet,

but occasionally eats meat or fish.

Oh, okay, well so--

oh, so I'm a Christian, so I must be an evangelitarian.

You'll definitely eat meat again.

Nah, I'm not-- I'm not eating no more meat.

- Eh! - Uh-uh.

-Eh! - No.

- Eh! - Uh-uh.

Care to place a little wager that you're not done with meat?

Okay, I bet you a hundred dollars

I'm never eating meat again.

- Uh-huh! - Ah-an!

- Um. - Uh-uh.

You have to shake my hand for the wager!

♪

♪ No matter what you do, I love you ♪

♪ No matter where you go, I'm behind you for sure ♪

♪ Always remember, love will never walk ♪

♪ We'll make it if we stay together ♪

♪

Cora, what you doing?

Get that out--you not finna die on my watch, Cora.

You not finna die on my-- you not gon' do it.

Mr. Brown, what is wrong with you,

you better get that food up off that floor?

Have you lost your mind?

No, Cora, I was lost, but now I'm found.

I was blind, but now I see...

this good ol' delicious piece of...

Don't think about it...

eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it.

No!

Efe, do you know what's gotten into Mr. Brown?

Yes, "What the Well-ness."

What the what?

"What the Well-ness" is a film by the Espino brothers

about the--the horrors of meat packaging in America.

Well, I'll tell you what... whatever that movie is,

it's taking effect on him, he hadn't eaten that bacon.

Yeah, it has that effect on everybody who watches it.

Hm.

No!

What--?

-What is he-- - I smoked the whole thang.

No!

, eh, welcome back.

No more bacon, no!

Mr. Brown, now you eat, like, three packages of bacon

a week yourself.

♪ I...know I been changed

♪ Angels in Heaven don' signed I-- ♪

All right, Mr. Brown, all right, that was--

♪ The angels in Heaven don' signed my name ♪

So, Mr. Brown, what you telling me,

you not gon' eat bacon anymore?

He will be eating meat in two or three days tops.

I'm sure he will, but I tell you what,

that movie has really got him going.

Everyone that watches it goes overboard.

- Oh. - Then they start eating meat

as if they've never seen it before.

Not--not--not me.

No, Efe, I'm a changed man, mm-hm,

and Cora, you need to stop eating that meat,

and you a Christian,

so you should be an evangelitarian.

What, Mr. Brown?

The Lord say everything He maketh is good and clean.

You know what, I'm gon' eat whatever I please,

as long as I bless it.

Cora, you know the Lord ain't down with no swine.

Well, the Bible say, whatever a man eats

goes into his stomach, not into his heart,

but whatever comes out of a man is what defiles him.

Cora, you--you off here preaching to me,

whatever defiled-- I'm a deacon, too,

I know the Word, you ain't the only one know the Word.

Well, you ain't been to Bible study in a while, Deacon.

Oh, I--I been going to virtual

church... on the internet.

Virtual church.

Yeah, and Cora, I don' been through too much

to let food kill me, I'm not doing it.

-Not gon' do it. - Efe, you know what,

Mr. Brown eats meat more than anybody I know,

but I tell you what, if that movie stopped him,

maybe I should watch it. - You should.

He--he--he insisted on becoming a vegetarian

immediately after seeing the movie,

which is not the most healthiest of decisions.

- Oh, okay. - No.

- Cora! - Mr. Brown!

- Cora! - Oh, Lord, Mr. Brown!

Mr. Brown... wait...

He still has a strong pulse.

- I know what will get him up. - What--what's gon' get him up?

-Mr. Brown... -I want a bite.

- What happened? -Mr. Brown,

you--you--you fainted, I mean, you passed out.

I feel Disney.

You feel Disney?

Mr--Mr. Brown, now how long has--

how long has it been since you've eaten meat?

This--last night.

What!

That is record time.

Normally, people get sick after week two or week three

for not eating meat...12 hours.

How much meat do you eat anyway?

Mr. Brown, you know what,

I'm about to go to the store and get some groceries

for everybody around here to fix breakfast.

Okay, Cora, I'm going too

'cuz some thangs is gon' change around here.

Cora, you don't know what that pig had to go through

to get on that plate.

He died that other people could live.

You know what, okay, you can go with me,

but let me tell you something, you can't be telling me

what I can put in my basket or what not to put in my basket.

Okay, you just can't put no meat in there.

Yeah, I can put whatever I wanna put in there.

- Cora, you ate no mo' meat. - You better come on here.

- No more meat! -Don't be trying

to tell me what do to do. -I got the beef.

♪

Hey, uh, Sandra, where's Phillip?

Oh, he's in the room, online gaming.

Oh, okay, well, go get your brother,

and tell him to come down here,

it's time for him to be a man .

What are y'all about to do to him?

We're about to teach him the wonderful game of poker.

Okay, but how is that going to make him a man?

I mean, poker's just a game,

and women are good at it, too.

What's so funny?

- Did you hear what she said? - Right.

She said, "Women are good at it, too."

And what makes y'all think that poker's a man's game?

Well, it's a game of patience and fearlessness,

and, uh, controlling your emotions.

Obviously, you mad already.

Okay, yeah I am upset

because men always think they're better than women.

Look, let me run it down to you,

okay, you got basketball, you got football,

you got hockey, you got soccer,

and then fishing, and then poker .

Okay, but you don't know

because I could be better at poker than the both of you.

I been playing poker since your daddy was a thought,

there's no way you could play to this level right here.

There are factors, like, knowing when to bluff,

knowing how to bluff--

Look, look, look, look, look, look, look,

there's no way she's gon' know what we know

until she's been playing for a long time.

I mean, it's a fact, I'm serious now,

poker is a man's game, period, okay, little girl?

Now, go get your brother,

so we can teach him how to be a man.

You know what, I think I get it now.

Good.

♪

Oh yeah, yeah, okay, all right, that's good.

Hey, um, where's Phillip?

Still online gaming.

See, he never wants to play poker, but I do.

We already explained to you that men--

-Oh! - Oh, okay, see first of all,

you gotta learn how to play the game

before you just put money down .

It's all right.

Oh, I know how to play.

Okay then, let's go.

All right now, don't get mad

when Granddad take your little $100.

Granddad, can I have my hundred back?

All right, cut 'em up.

Yeah, you ain't getting it back now, all right.

Woo, she cut... look at that, all right.

She means business .

Okay... Texas Hold 'Em.

She about that hundred dollars .

Alrighty.

Yeah, come on now, see what you got,

see what you know.

That's to me.

Ah, that's me, how 'bout that, yeah?

- Okay. - We all in, look at all of us.

I raise.

I see your little bet you got, and I see you and I raise you.

To me, okay, call.

There you are... oh my god.

And I raise again.

She raising again, look at that, all right now.

There--there you go, boom, right there.

I--I will call.

Last card.

-Oh! -Woo!

I'm all in.

Yeah, you know what that means now,

that's--that's all your money?

I said what I said.

I fold.

- I'll be damned. - What?

See that right there... that's called a bluff,

something more experienced players would know all about.

Another game anyone?

♪

Is everything all right, Mr. Brown?

Mm-hm, fine, been I never better.

You better eat some real food soon,

or--or you'll pass out again.

- Oh! - What?

My hands look like chicken fingers.

Hallucination... stage two.

He's going to break soon.

Mr. Brown, if you like this tomorrow,

I--I--I'ma have to force feed you.

Let me clean up these leftovers.

Oh, no, no, no, I--I--we got it.

We'll--we'll do it.

- Okay. - Yes, you go on, we have it.

Thank you.

- Take care of him. - Of course.

Aah! - What's the matter?

My back is pain.

To--too much meat?

Yes! Yeah, yes,

so--so can you help me carry this, uh--uh, leftovers,

and put it away...

Yourself?

Brown can do it.

Oh, oh, very good.

Ow, thank you.

Brown can do it.

Yeah, thank you.

Oh!

That sauce that--

Uh-uh, I'm not gon' do it.

I'm not gon' do it!

I got ferris willpower.

I'm not gon' do it.

Mr. Brooooown...

Who is that?

It's me, I'm right here, silly.

Are you invisible?

No, baby,

I'm right here on the counter.

Is that the meat?

Yes, I've missed you, Mr. Brown.

I've missed you, too.

Prove it to me.

How you want me to prove it?

You can start by coming closer.

Oh, is this close enough?

Come closer to me, now!

Is that close enough right there?

Take the foil off,

I want you to see me.

You gon' be naked.

How do I look, Mr. Brown?

Oh, you look so good!

Oh, you look so-- what you want me to do now?

Taste me.

Taste you?

You want me to bite you?

Oh!

Oh!

How do I taste, Mr. Brown?

Girl, you taste so good.

Oh, thank you.

Take me now!

I'm taking you now.

Oh!

Give me the meat.

♪

Oh, Mr. Brown, oh, Mr. Brown...

Mr. Brown, wake up, wake up, Mr. Brown, Mr. Brown!

Oh my--

This is the best way I could have woken up today .

Efe, this is not funny, help me lift him up.

I would love to, but I'm too weak.

Plus, there's no way we can move him anyway.

What do you mean?

Dead weight... classic food coma.

Come--come on, Efe, help me to get--get him up.

Okay, all right, wait, I have an idea.

Okay, wh--what, what, what?

You think that's--

Welcome back!

- Cora... -Mr. Brown...

My belly 'bout to bust, I'm so full.

I think my--my stretch marks is stretching.

Mr. Brown, you know what, all that food you don' ate,

you can help clean up this mess.

- Cora, it wasn't me. - It wasn't you?

It was the meat. She was calling me, Cora.

- What are you talking about? - Wait, she?

She.

- The meat? - The meat.

Mr. Brown, you know what, you can help me,

get up, come on, get up.

Wait, wait, wait, did-- did you give the meat a sex?

Something like that.

Oh my god, I don't want to get into it.

No, go, go, come on, get up.

Look at all this mess you gotten.

So, what about my payment?

Will it be deducted from my housing,

or will it be cash, or bank wire, eh?

Why you don't have to rub it in,

I know you won fair and square.

What, what are y'all talking about?

Just take it out of next month's rent.

What!?

I'm joking, you don't owe me anything, huh?

In fact, I think I should be paying you

for the entertainment .

You know what, you better clean up

this mess, Mr. Brown. Come on, let's go get you cleaned up.

Cora, Cora, the meat was calling me,

you know what it said? - What it say, Mr. Brown?

Bite me.

♪

Look, man, we suppose to be working together

to take her out.

I don't know, she's pretty good.

Pretty good nothing, man, we suppose to be using

classic poker intimidation to get up inside her head, man.

- I'm following. - No, you not following.

Look, I can talk off-- we can get all up in her head.

I've been getting up in men's heads for years, man.

I talked a dude out of his own house at the poker table.

Man, she's a little girl, she ain't nothing,

we can do this.

Y'all ready?

Well, you ain't gon be able to hear what's going on

with all that on.

Oh, no, no, no, see I'm a better visual poker player.

Music just puts me in the right mindset.

I play Deja Money start to finish.

Here you go.

I'm sick of you, nah really, I'm sick of you.

Huh!

I ain't gon' be nice, I'm not gon' be nice.

You looking for niceness, you ain't gon' find it.

Sorry, were you saying something?

♪

♪

All right, ha, I...am all in.

I call.

Well, I fold,

that was a snap call, I know what that is.

Ah, damn!

I'm done, that's all, she's gotten me.

Taking off some gear, huh,

you must be... losing .

Losing !

Oh, no, no, no, I just wanted to see your face clearly,

I mean, I thought you was suppose to be

this macho poker player who was taking

my money so easily,

but I see now, you're subpar player at best.

You don't talk to me like that, girl.

I call.

Damn!

Gawd damn, damn!

Bad decision, Mr. Expert Poker Player.

Who taught you how to play?

My grandfather, Murl, and his twin brother, Earl,

taught me how to play.

Look, don't be trying to get all up in my head.

I'm the head getter up into-er, okay?

Shoo, I'm the one who gets in people's heads.

Trying to get in my head.

Just admit that women are equally as good or better,

and you can have all your winnings back from yesterday.

No, I can win all my winnings back today.

Is what I can do.

Okay, bring it.

It's gon' be brought.

Okay.

,

I'm speaking all in,

how 'bout that, that's what I'm speaking.

Okay... well I call.

See, I would say good game,

but... it wasn't.

I literally tried everything, but I can't beat you.

That was part of my strategy.

- You got some poker talent. - Whatever.

It--it is what it is there, you know?

Man, okay then, well, you know,

women are good at poker.

But they-they're not as good as men.

Okay, that was a joke.

Come on, I'm sorry, it's a good game,

it was a good game.

Can I borrow a hundred?

♪

I deserve this.

I wiped the floor with you.

Yes, you did, you did, you really did, yeah,

it's no way to treat your great-grandparents--

- Hey! - Hey, Burnt Biscuit,

I heard you 'bout ate yourself to death today .

And I heard you got beat by a girl... twice today, ha, ha.

- It was more than twice. - Whatever, nah, you know,

what is this movie that everybody talking about

suppose to make you stop eating meat?

It's called, "What the Well-ness,"

I'ma--I'ma turn it on, let y'all see it.

Okay, let's see it, yeah.

Oh, I've been wanting to watch that.

Mm-hm, oh look, watch this.

Oh, it's scary, after y'all get through watching it,

and I'm gon' be the one taking bets.

Check it out. - Ugh!

-Oh! - Ugh!

-Oh lord. - Oh!

- Oh! - Ugh!

Look at its--

Oh, a chicken like that, oh.

-Oh, lord. -Oh man, dang.

I think I'm gon' be sick again.

- Me, too. - Ugh!

- - Oh!

♪

Oh that is--ugh!

♪

♪

♪