Original subtitles

[Static crackles]

-Welcome back to the second half

of our final Halloween special.

And we're going to show a fictitious Halloween special,

so it's a special within a special.

But before we do that, Darcy, I'm begging you,

please let me do one more thing that was practiced at

Tlachtga in the year 508 B.C.

-BCE.

-B-- -[Laughs]

-As a Druid at the first Samhain,

I would have been in charge of...

Well, if I was a druid,

I would have been charge of several things,

like distributing the meat.

But the coolest one was divining the future.

-And you're so good at that.

When did you divine that the show was ending?

-At least a full hour before it happened.

-Wow! Okay. -Okay.

-So, what are you divining for the future?

-I have been studying our sacred fire

and I've observed flame direction, smoke movement,

the cracking patterns in the wood,

and the burning of the offerings.

-Offerings? I thought we weren't doing that.

-Well, I know, but somebody accidentally dropped

a Red Bull into the fire.

So I've been going by the way the can curls

and disintegrates and looking at that.

-Okay. Very, very scientific.

-So...

Here are your answers, fellow Celts and Samhainians.

The winter will be harsh, especially in Newfoundland.

-Good one.

-We will have no cattle disease in any of the states.

-Alright. I'm very relieved about that.

-We will have it in Kingman Reef.

-Well, I wasn't planning to go there,

but if I do, I will not touch any cattle.

-Well, that's a U.S. territory in the Pacific.

As long as nobody takes a cow there, we'll be fine.

-Okay. -Now, to the question

"Is the kingship secure?"...

I received a dubious flicker,

leading me to wonder who is the king of Samhain?

-Stephen King?

-Well, that's a good answer.

But when you get into -- -Thank you.

-When you get into dark kink like this,

it might be Clive Barker.

-It might be, yeah.

-Hence the flicker in the answer.

But now, in considering the final question --

This was always the final question.

-Okay. -Will there be war?

I'm going to have to delay the answer

because I can't tell from the smoke.

We have to move on to ritual trance to get that answer.

-War with who, though? -No, it's always ended --

You always ask that question at Samhain.

-Okay.

-The druid has to ask the question, "Will there be war?"

Could be with anybody.

But the answer requires me to pummel myself into a trance.

-Pummel yourself.

-Take a mushroom, something like that.

-Oh!

-Have some kind of psychedelic substance.

We'll do that later. -Okay.

Do you remember that we have another movie, though?

-Yes, I do. -Okay. Whoo!

-And "Found footage rules," said nobody ever.

"I think all films should be found footage" --

a principle espoused by no one in the history of the world.

Anyway, I know your position on found footage, Darcy,

so I'm trying to humor you.

-I would rather it stay lost footage, if I'm being real.

-Really? -Yes. I'm not a fan.

-Well, here's my question about found footage.

I can understand it if you're doing a hoax,

like "The Blair Witch Project"

and, like, snuff or even "Cannibal Holocaust."

Those movies were so real,

the directors had to go into court

and prove that the murders never happened.

And I can understand marketing campaigns

that use "Based on a real story,"

like "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre."

There are people to this day, 52 years later,

they still believe that actually happened.

And I can understand mockumentary.

"Spinal Tap," one of the greatest American films.

But the real title is "This Is Spinal Tap,"

because Rob Reiner was copying every little detail

of real documentaries -- or rock-umentaries --

so that we're kind of lured into the world of the band

just by the style of the movie, by the way it's put together.

Looks and acts like a documentary.

When you watch a mockumentary,

it's like you're the partner of the filmmaker.

You're in on the joke.

But one reason "The Blair Witch Project"

was a success is that it existed alongside

a website and a fake documentary.

Not a mockumentary,

a documentary that purported to be real.

And the marketing encouraged people to go to that website

and read about the so-called real story that

the found-footage investigators were trying to tell.

So they succeeded in totally fooling people.

But what's the point of doing found footage

if everybody already knows it's fiction?

-Tonight's movie actually did try to fool everyone.

-Did they get away with it, though?

Did they get away with fooling everybody?

-Yeah, I think there were actually quite a few people

who thought it was a VHS tape of a live TV show from 1987.

-Then the filmmakers get a lot of credit for that,

because they were just barely able to do it

with "Blair Witch" in 1999.

I'm surprised it was even remotely possible in 2013.

But they did have an interesting marketing ploy.

They went to VHS conventions,

where, obviously, VHS-tape collectors gather,

and they left VHS tapes in blank cardboard cases

that just had "WNUF Halloween Special"

handwritten on the outside,

like it was something somebody had just taped off TV.

And then they just dropped them in weird places --

the restrooms -- you know,

like they were lost, to indicate they had been lost

or forgotten by someone, hoping people would pick them up

and watch them and then talk about them.

-That's brilliant, actually.

They also tossed them out of car windows,

and so people would just find them on the side of the road

like, "Whoa, what's this?"

-Yeah, tossing them out of a car window

sounds like a less-promising method,

if only because VHS tapes can't take that much punishment.

But we'll ask Chris LaMartina,

because he's here with us tonight.

He's the director, producer -- -Whoo!

-Yeah, he's the director, producer,

one-man film industry of Baltimore,

and he can give us the backstory.

I think this is the first found-footage film

that we've ever shown.

Is it? I think it's the first one.

-"Cannibal Holocaust." -What?

-"Cannibal Holocaust." -You call "Canni--"

Yeah, I guess "Cannibal Holocaust" counts.

But it's also not really a found-footage film.

It's another subgenre called "fake newscast."

Found footage and fake newscasts are related,

but they're not identical.

And this has elements of both of those subgenres.

But let's not waste any more time.

-Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Did you just say that?

Wow!

-Let's look at those "Drive-In Totals"

and get started. We have...

-Oh, man. -Go ahead, Darcy.

Express your outrage -- -It's not me.

It's the Mutants.

I believe if it can happen in life, it can happen in a movie.

"Drive-In" Academy Award nominations for Kendra North

as the anti-Halloween activist, who says,

"Curses have been sent through the tricks and treats

of the innocent."

Paul Fahrenkopf as the on-the-scene,

golly-gee-whiz haunted-house reporter,

who says, "That's far out."

Helenmary Ball as the clairvoyant,

who says, "We're not safe."

Brian St. August as the paranormal investigator,

who says, "The more violent the death,

the more volatile the ghost."

Richard Cutting as the news anchor, who says,

"What's a vampire's worst nightmare?

Tooth decay."

Leanna Chamish as the other news anchor, who says,

"I'll probably just stay in and play with my cats."

And Chris LaMartina,

the writer/director, for going gorilla

on this micro-budget bad boy is what this is

and bringing it home.

Three stars. Joe Bob says, "Check it out."

Darcy. -Yes?

-You know, I changed clothes and everything.

I feel like we're leaving out aspects of Samhain

that our audience should know about.

-I feel like we're pretty much up to speed on Samhain.

-[Echoing] I see a red branch broken.

-What?

-I see wolves in the fold.

-Did I miss something? What's happening?

-I'm trancing, Darcy. Don't interrupt.

-Oh, sorry. -Okay.

-[Echoing] The west wind carries iron.

The east wind carries hunger.

A spear without a shaft.

A crown without a seat.

Three winters lean upon this house.

One will pass.

One will wound.

One will empty it.

-It won't take three winters for that.

-Darcy. -I'm just saying.

-Stop.

♪♪

[Echoing] The bull stands in mud.

The hound drinks blood not its own.

Trust not the fair-haired guest.

♪♪

Wow.

That was intense. -Yeah.

-Should I explain what all that was?

-Oh, no. We got it.

It just -- It makes perfect sense to us. You're good.

♪♪

You're good.

♪♪

[Man laughs evilly]

♪♪

[Static crackles]

[VCR clicking, static hissing]

-...queen.

[Fast-forwarding]

-Wait! Stop! Think!

There's nothing sexy about STDs.

[Fast-forwarding]

♪♪

[Fast-forwarding]

-Saturday afternoons at 4:00 p.m.

You're watching WNUF TV28.

♪♪

♪♪

The WNUF Evening News, with your hosts,

Gavin Gordon and Deborah Merritt.

♪♪

-Don't check your dial, folks.

You didn't tune in to Transylvania's

public-access station.

No, sir. Tonight is Halloween.

[Thunder crashes]

-Trick or treat!

♪♪

-Aww! Good evening. I'm Deborah Merritt.

-And I'm Gavin Gordon.

-Tonight, a religious organization prays

for the end of trick-or-treating.

-Plus, we'll show you the newest ad in the governor's race

that's scaring up controversy.

-And we'll speak with WNUF's own Frank Stewart,

who will be taking our viewers on a live tour

through a supposedly haunted house,

tonight, live on air.

Ooh!

-All this and more after this commercial break.

♪♪

-You're watching WNUF.

-Have you gotten your pumpkin yet?

If the answer is "no," then you better come down to

the pumpkin patch at High Pike Farms.

We've got it all -- pumpkins, cider, candy apples, and more.

With prices so low, you'll think we're out of our gourds.

Come down to High Pike Farms.

Check out the Scarecrow Hall of Fame,

take a hayride, and pick your very own Halloween pumpkin.

High Pike Farms is located at 3327 Mundra Road,

right off Route 88, in Kerr County.

The pumpkin patch at High Pike Farms.

-Help your children turn the page on their future

and enter a new chapter of fun.

Join the WNUF Reading Club.

Visit your local library today

and ask about all the excitement.

Get free bookmarks and coupons

to neat businesses, including Coopers

and Tokens Arcade and Pizzeria.

The WNUF Reading Club -- check it out.

♪♪

-Mission control to Florida station.

How are we on fuel?

-Mission control, we are loaded up with sunshine,

finest choice ingredients picked fresh today.

-Sunshine? -Check.

-Real sweet citrus flavor? -Check.

-How are we on energy readings?

-All the energy in the orange planning to keep us going.

-Alright. All flavor ahead. Orange Blast Off in...

5, 4, 3, 2...

Good work, crew.

Orange Blast Off.

-Just in time for trick-or-treating,

it's the new Halloween make-up kit by French Johnson.

Use a wide variety of colors and creams

to transform you and your friends into hideous monsters.

You can become anything --

demons, ghosts, maniacs, and more.

French Johnson makeup is safer than masks

and never impairs vision.

And it's hypoallergenic, too!

So pick up your Halloween makeup kit today

and watch your kids transform into creatures of the night.

♪♪

-Welcome back to the WNUF Evening News.

-Tonight, millions of children

across the country will take to the streets,

trick-or-treating.

In our own backyard, ghouls and goblins

have already begun their door-to-door quest

for sugary snacks.

So, with kids staying out late and causing mischief,

how can you assure your child's safety?

Well, have no fear.

Officer Donald Bookwalter has some trick-or-treating tips

to keep you and your family safe.

-Halloween is a great night for little kids

to dress up in costumes and pretend.

But we can't pretend that the threat of danger

is not out there, too.

Here are some tips to help you and your little monsters

play it safe on this, the most eerie of evenings.

One,

all trick-or-treaters must be accompanied by a trusted adult,

someone they know, not a stranger,

not someone they met at school,

and not the guy that drives the ice-cream truck.

Two, inspect all your treats before you eat them.

That way, you're not accidentally eating

a razor blade or a needle infected with the AIDS virus.

[Fast-forwarding]

...Halloween, kids. Enjoy yourself.

-Officer Bookwalter urges you to contact your

local police department if you witness any suspicious activity.

Gavin?

-Hey, Deborah.

What's a vampire's worst nightmare?

-Oh, I don't know, Gavin. Sunlight?

-Mnh-mnh. Tooth decay.

-Oh! -[Laughs]

-And local dentist Dr. Stanley Allen

knows plenty about that subject.

Reporter Veronica Stanze recently visited Dr. Allen

to learn more about his third annual Cash for Candy program.

-While some of us may be afraid of demons and vampires,

a dentist's worst nightmare is...

-Halloween.

Halloween is a dentist's worst nightmare.

-Dr. Stanley Allen is fighting tooth and nail

to get kids to give up their precious

sweet treats for charity.

-I'm not against Halloween or candy,

but everything should be in moderation.

No kid needs to eat 5 pounds of chocolate.

It's just not healthy.

-Here's the drill.

For every pound of candy your child brings to

Dr. Allen's office, they get a dollar.

The candy buy-back begins the day after Halloween.

Armed to the teeth with goodie bags and wads of cash,

Dr. Allen hopes word of mouth will do the trick.

-And now we turn our attention to a real-life horror story.

-A touching tribute this evening

at the home of David Kim.

Today marks the one-year anniversary

of the 7-year-old's tragic murder.

-I just can't believe he's gone.

-Last Halloween, David knocked on the door of

retired military service member Colonel John Regis.

Young David, dressed in his army-fatigue costume,

was looking for treats.

What he found was devastating.

Suffering from shell shock,

Regis mistook the child for a Vietnamese soldier.

He shot the 7-year-old trick-or-treater,

fatally wounding him.

-I mean, he loved G.I. Joe.

[Fast-forwarding]

-Despite his mental illness,

Regis was convicted of first-degree murder.

Tonight, he sits on death row, awaiting execution.

-We'll be right back.

♪♪

-You're watching WNUF.

-State Senator Robert Dandridge doesn't want you to see this.

Tons of cancer-causing toxic waste

dumped into our water supply every day.

Dandridge claims he's not responsible.

But the truth is, he voted against 34 programs

to clean up pollution affecting elementary schools

all across our state.

Now it turns out Robert Dandridge took

$600,000 from toxic-waste companies,

then blocked enforcement from our toxic cleanup laws.

Our state deserves better.

-Everybody loves carving pumpkins for Halloween.

And now, with the Carve-O'-Lantern

pumpkin-carving kit, it's easier than ever before.

Children of all ages can safely design

and carve their own Halloween pumpkins.

Each kit includes three different Carve-O'-Lantern

carving tools, plus the Carve-O'-Lantern scooper.

There are no sharp edges that can hurt little hands,

but it still cuts through pumpkins safely and smoothly.

The Carve-O'-Lantern pumpkin-carving kit is available

at Nodin Drug, Herk's, and Bull's Eye.

-Does going to the dentist set your teeth on edge?

For most folks, a trip to the dentist is about

as much fun as a toothache.

But our office is designed to make you

and your children feel right at home.

We have movies, games,

and state-of-the-art equipment to ensure a

quick and painless experience.

Call now and your first visit is free.

♪♪

-20 years ago, the Webber House in

River Hill Township was the site of ghastly depravity,

a case the local police dubbed "The Spirit Board Murders."

Now WNUF TV28 takes you on a horrifying journey

through this supposedly haunted estate.

Come with me, Frank Stewart,

and a team of paranormal experts

as we seek to uncover the mystery.

There's even a call-in séance you can be a part of.

[Thunder crashes, woman screams]

-Welcome back to the WNUF Evening News.

-It's that season again, folks.

No, I'm not talking about the witching season,

black cats, and flying broomsticks.

Nope. It's the season of political attack ads.

This year's governor's race is ramping up,

and if you just saw the new spot

from incumbent Democrat Mike Barlow, you might agree

why the Dandridge campaign is crying foul.

We spoke with State Senator Robert Dandridge

earlier today to get a response to

a commercial some are calling...

[Fast-forwarding]

-All the facts in my ads

are entirely accurate based on -- on the way things are.

Senator Dandridge has consistently voted against

these programs in the Assembly.

He's for Big Business against what's good for the p...

[Fast-forwarding]

-...petty little issues

and this commercial that he has running.

I want to talk about the issues

that concern the residents of our state.

But if you want to talk about these little issues,

these insignificant things, like his infidelity,

I'm more than willing to talk about.

[Fast-forwarding]

-...still have a lot of explaining to do.

I'm Alan Pirro, TV28.

-Oh, boy, Gavin. I don't know what's scarier --

that ad

or WNUF's live broadcast from a supposedly haunted house

later this evening.

-That's right, Deborah.

For those just tuning in, reporter Frank Stewart has

a special Halloween treat in store for viewers tonight.

He'll be leading a group of paranormal experts

through the infamous Webber House,

the site of the Spirit Board Murders.

Now, it's an estate that's been boarded up for 20 years.

And here with all the gory details

is reporter Frank Stewart on location in River Hill Township.

Frank, can you hear me out there?

-Hello, Gavin.

I can hear you loud and clear, partner.

God, hell, you are loud. You just might raise the dead.

Which is what we might be doing tonight, huh?

[All cheering]

-So, tell the folks at home what's about to transpire.

-Well, witchy-poo, we are standing in front of

the Webber House in River Hill Township,

the former home of Paul and Linda Webber,

who were murdered by their son, Donald,

over 20 years ago in this very house.

The house has laid vacant since,

kept alive only by terrifying memories and

neighborhood ghost stories.

But tonight, WNUF TV28 is going to take you inside

for the first time in 20 years.

We have actually assembled a team of paranormal researchers,

and we're going to be going in the house with them

to unravel the mystery and figure out if this house is,

in fact, haunted.

-And from what I understand,

there will be a séance where viewers can call in?

-Right-o, Gavin. Absolutely true.

-So, are you guys going to contact Elvis?

-[Laughter] -Just for you, Deb.

-Well, Frank, good luck.

If you need anything, just...scream.

Nice knowing ya.

[Both laugh]

-But, you know, Gavin,

not everyone is pleased with tonight's special presentation.

Some viewers are downright disturbed.

So in order to show we're fair and balanced,

our reporter Donna Miles

recently interviewed Mrs. Angela Harris,

the leader of a group called H.A.R.V.E.S.T.,

a religious organization

that believes any celebration of Halloween

to be satanic and inappropriate for Christians.

-Is Halloween a special holiday

for children to play make-believe,

or is it the work of darker forces?

-Halloween is Satan's night, the night of the devil.

Tonight, the vortex of hell opens.

Witches, goblins, and heathens

are united to praise the Prince of Darkness.

-Members of H.A.R.V.E.S.T. are making strong efforts

to protect their community from what they call

the dangerous nature of Halloween.

-Monsters, demons, witches?

These things should not be celebrated.

They should be cast out, destroyed.

Christians holding Halloween parties

and making haunted houses for school children.

It's blasphemy.

-H.A.R.V.E.S.T. has organized a nation-wide prayer chain,

devoting their spiritual energy to the eradication of Halloween.

-Do you understand what this holiday has done?

How many people are killed in the name of Satan on Halloween?

-So, all of these children trick-or-treating --

you actually believe they're in danger?

-Curses have been sent through

the tricks and treats of the innocent.

There are goblins in the candy.

It is prayed over and cursed by witches.

-You can laugh all you want,

but Mrs. Harris thinks we're all in danger.

-Satan wants your soul.

And if you participate in Halloween, he shall have it.

This is spiritual warfare.

The streets are the battlefields.

Be soldiers of Christ.

Stop your neighbors from celebrating Halloween.

Save their souls.

Save yours.

-If you believe Mrs. Harris, you can join her

and the other members of H.A.R.V.E.S.T.

here at Meadow Ridge Baptist Church,

where they will be praying for the eradication of Halloween

every hour, on the hour, until the night is over.

I'm Donna Miles, TV28.

-Whew! I think I need to go to church after that story.

-Amen to that, Deborah. -Oh!

When we come back, Carl Durant with the weather.

-You're watching WNUF.

-Come on out, Phil's Carpet Warehouse.

We got floor rugs, bathroom rugs, shag rugs, Oriental rugs.

Whatever you need, we got it.

When are you gonna do something about that old carpet?

Here we are coming up on the holidays.

Family coming over? How can you let it go any longer?

No excuse for that, especially when my prices are so, so low.

And get this -- $799 installed with padding.

You cannot beat that anywhere. I guarantee it.

Plenty of time to get it done before the holidays.

And get this --

your first payment will not come until next spring.

Trust me, Phil --

you're gonna love it when you get a low, low bill.

-America, land of the free,

from Florida to Alaska.

But freedom comes with responsibility.

We at Hazelwood Oil are doing our duty

to help clean up the environment.

With chlorofluorocarbons in the air,

the ozone depleting, factory run off,

and unavoidable accidental oil spills,

there's a lot we can all pitch in on.

Hazelwood Oil is doing our part to reverse the damage.

Are you?

-The latest games.

The latest toppings.

We've got it all.

Pizza and video games.

Right here at Token's Video Arcade and Pizzeria,

located at Chestertown Mall.

-This Sunday on the WNUF Family Showcase.

"Doggone It!"

When a busy secretary, played by Sandra Houston,

almost hits a runaway canine, her day is put on "paws",

and she has to fetch a plan to take care

of her new best friend.

Find a new leash on life with the family classic

"Doggone It!", this Sunday at 7:00 p.m.

-Tuesday! Tuesday! Tuesday!

At the River Hill Fairgrounds,

The Demons of Demolition Derby return

death defying, mid-air flying.

Pray that no one leaves the place dying.

This Tuesday at the River Hill Fairgrounds.

We'll sell you the whole seat.

But you're only gonna need the edge.

-Happy Halloween from WNUF TV...

[Fast forwarding]

-We'll see severe thunderstorms

in the next few hours and on through the morning.

A real natural disaster on a holiday

of super natural disasters.

Hopefully everyone can get their trick or treating

finished up early.

Deborah.

-Wow, that certainly is a terrifying forecast, Carl.

-And it couldn't be more appropriate

for the scariest night of the year.

Thunder, lightning. [Chuckles]

You know, I think I'm going to stay in,

grab a flashlight, and read scary stories to my kids.

-Oh. -What about you, Deb?

-Oh, I'll probably just stay in and play with my cats.

-You know, I hope they're not, uh, scaredy cats.

-Oh, Gavin! [Laughs]

Well, on behalf of all of the pranksters here at WNUF,

we want to wish you a very scary and happy Halloween.

-And remember, don't switch channels.

Frank Stewart's Halloween Special is coming right on

after these messages from our sponsors.

-Have you been the victim of malpractice?

Do you have a personal injury case

that you need expert legal advice for?

If you answered yes to either of those questions,

you need the law offices of

Alan Feinstein and Mort Goldenplatt.

We won't rest until you get the justice that you deserve.

No matter what the case.

Car accidents, medical malpractice,

criminal investigation, we do it all.

Call today for a free consultation.

786-5437.

-Tonight on WNUF's late night movie,

the mean streets of New York

are taken over by a supernatural evil in the form

of an ancient mummy in the horror thriller "Sarcophagus."

Tonight on WNUF TV 28.

-Zoos are only open during the day.

And so expensive.

Wouldn't it be great if you could take the kids

to the zoo every day?

Oz Animal Videos is bringing the zoo to you

with "Windup Wildlife."

These critters aren't napping on the job like live attractions.

They're ready to play any time of day.

For just $19.95 a month, plus shipping and handling,

you can receive all sorts of antics

from all over the world, playful pandas,

ornery otters, bashful bears, and...

-The Revolver,

"Oak & Bear: Outlaws on the Range",

every Tuesday at 8:00 p.m.

-Hey, creeps, do you want to hear

horrifying tales of vampires, zombies, werewolves, and more?

Then pick up your phone

and dial the Premiere Horror Hotline, 1-900-MONSTER.

Talk directly to demons so scary

you'll be dying for more.

Under 18? Well, get your parents permission before calling.

$2 for the first minute. $0.45 each additional minute.

1-900 MONSTER.

Dial in and freak out.

-20 years ago, the Webber House in River Hill Township

was the site of ghastly depravity,

a case the local police dubbed the Spirit Board murders.

Now WNUF TV 28 takes you on a horrifying journey

through the supposedly haunted estate.

Come with me, Frank Stewart, and a team of paranormal experts

as we seek to uncover the mystery.

There's even a call in séance you can be a part of.

Tonight, we will figure out

if the Webber House is really haunted,

if ghosts do exist, and if we, the living, must fear them.

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

-[Screaming]

Good evening, boils and ghouls.

Hope that Halloween candy is still flowing

in your neighborhood,

and that those little gremlins haven't toilet papered

your trees or soaped your windows.

I'm Frank Stewart,

and we're here in front of the infamous Webber House,

where 20 years ago,

Donald Webber killed his parents after consulting

a supposedly demonic board game,

a wooden spirit board he found in the attic of this very house.

Now, the house has been vacant since that time,

and tonight, we're going to go in, live on television,

and discover whether or not this house is,

in fact, haunted, or whether we can put

the supernatural rumors to rest.

Now, I am not alone in my quest.

I have assembled a crack team of paranormal investigators

who are going to join us in the house.

Also, to ensure my safety and that of my comrades

we have our brave producer, Veronica --

-[Chain saw rumbling] -What? What on earth?

My God! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Oh. Very cute, very funny.

-Trick or treat, Frank. -Yeah.

Uh, ladies and gentlemen,

this is our fearless producer, Veronica Stanze,

um, who's obviously,

uh, got into the Halloween spirit herself with

a few pranks there, huh?

-Hope I didn't scare you too bad, Frank.

-You know, actually, Veronica,

uh, my heart's been beating a little slowly lately,

and you got it up to speed, so I appreciate that.

-Any time.

Now, Veronica is our fail safe backup in case

anything unspeakable or unusual should happen in the house.

Isn't that right?

Yes, I'll be in the news van checking in with Frank

periodically throughout the course

of the broadcast.

-Okay, thank you for your daring valor, my dear.

Okay, when we come back, we're gonna talk

to the paranormal, actually they're a husband and wife team,

Claire and Louis Berger, and we're gonna--

-This is blasphemy!

-Hey, what the hell? -You're all going to hell!

-Who the hell let this guy on the site for--

Well be right back.

I'm Frank Stewart.

[Thunder crashing]

-You're watching the WNUF Halloween Special.

-[Screaming]

[Static crackling]

-Okay. A lot of people, when they

first watch this movie say, "Why does it take so long

to start the haunted house investigation?"

But the reason, and I like the way they did this,

is that we're being introduced to an invisible character.

And that character is whoever owns this tape,

because this is obviously a homemade tape.

It's recorded directly off TV, it's degraded,

probably taped over many times,

and the owner of it is only interested in certain things

and fast forwards through the others.

So very interested or tolerant of Phil's Carpet Warehouse,

not so much the political attack ads.

Um, these are all fake ads, of course,

but they have that 80s local market production value

that sells them as real.

And the filmmakers resist the temptation

to do parodies.

95% of the time.

These ads play straight.

Uh, what did you think of the commercials, Darcy?

-There's a lot of them.

-There are, in fact, 51 commercials in the movie,

comprising 25 minutes of the 81 minute running time.

And this annoyed some people. It amused others.

But the fact was, if you were watching late night

independent TV stations

in the 80s, this is probably what you would get.

Same thing with that amateur newsroom set.

Uh, this was the indie station.

This was not a network affiliate.

They had no money for a real news operation.

So they often did execute goofy ideas like, hey,

what if Gavin and Deborah

did the news dressed as Dracula and Lady Dracula?

The only thing I wonder about,

though, is if you were one of those people

who happened to find this tape in the restroom

at the VHS convention, would you still be watching at this point?

Because nothing has really happened.

You might just think, oh, it's just like...

-I think it's possible.

But that really is the problem I have with found footage.

-Because they're slow developing?

-Yeah.

And it seems honestly like a lazy way

to tell a story, really.

-I think the reason is that,

um, they're trying to get you to like

the characters, get into that safe vibe

where you're kind of laughing with them,

podcasting with them, whatever,

so that the looming horror takes you by surprise, you know?

-Yeah, but the horror can't really loom if you feel safe.

-True. Anyway, the total budget

for this film was $1,500.

-Wow. -I'm sure they got

a lot of free stuff, you know,

that, you know, the value of it is more than $1,500,

but they only spent $1,500.

We talk about micro-budget.

Sometimes micro-budget means $100,000 or more,

you know, but, um...

-I totally respect the film. It just, you know,

maybe they could have had 40 commercials instead of 50.

Just saying, save a little money.

-51. -My bad.

-Including some repeats

because in the 80s, you had repeats.

So we're going for authenticity with it.

-I get that. -This movie

apparently fooled the reviewer for The New York Times,

which, I don't know what to think about that, but...

-Did they watch it on VHS?

-I think so, because when it first came out,

it was only on VHS.

And that was probably part of the hoax.

Why would you still be showing VHS at festivals

when VHS was dead?

So, and that made it possible -- and so that meant, well,

this is obviously not from 2013.

No one would make a VHS in 2013.

And that made it possible to unearth a lost reality show.

Anyway, let's get back to the Webber House.

The Webber House doesn't look quite run down enough

to have been abandoned for 20 years.

But anyway, we'll talk about that later.

Right now, let's get back to the award winning

found footage movie "WNUF Halloween Special."

Roll it.

What's the best found footage film?

-It's got to be "Blair Witch." Right?

-But when "Blair Witch" came out,

nobody knew it was found footage.

There was no term "found footage."

It didn't exist yet. So all the ones after that are...

we know you won't believe that this is really found footage,

so we'll just put jump scares in.

Right? -Right.

-I think there should be a rule

that real found footage has to pretend to be real footage

and fool you into believing that it's real footage,

because how many found footage films are there?

-Hundreds.

-I know if you type in "found footage" on Wikipedia,

you get 49 pages of films, not 49 films, 49 pages of films.

So do any of those fool anybody?

-No. -So what's the point?

-Exactly! -I know we're going to get

protests from found footage lovers.

-There are a lot of them.

-They're going to tell us why found footage is brilliant.

-Yes, they will.

-And why is found footage great? Tell me.

-Because anybody can make one?

-Well, not exactly true, but...

Yeah. I mean, it's called a home movie, right?

-Pretty much.

-Okay.

[Laughter]

[Cackling]

[Static crackling]

-Come on down, Phil's Carpet Warehouse.

We got floor rugs, bathroom rugs, shag rugs, oriental rugs.

Whatever you need, we got it!

When are you gonna do somethin' about that old carpet?

Here we are, come on up for the holidays.

Family comin' over?

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Plenty of time to get it done before the holidays.

And get this.

Your first payment will not come until next spring.

Trust me, Phil.

You're gonna love it when you get a low, low bill.

-Helping children helps our future.

Become a mentor and change a child's life.

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-10 years into deep space, Captain Russell Hawk

pilots his archer as he leads his Lazer Brigade

into battle to save the galaxy.

The mysterious Konfas have started depleting

the Tomonium mines of Gekaseven.

Are things flying in the Elsbrick quadrant

or did Chancellor Nolan discover the Friedmen uprising?

Find out in the next thrilling episode

of "Galaxy Pilot and the Lazer Brigade",

Part of the Embassy Action Pack.

Every Saturday morning at 9:00.

[Thunder crashes]

You're watching the WNUF Halloween special.

♪♪

-[Screaming]

-I'm Frank Stewart.

We're back with the WNUF TV Halloween special.

I got to apologize for what just happened.

Beknownst, it's live television.

Anything goes on live television.

-[Laughing]

-Okay.

And anything goes, especially tonight,

as we're about to enter the Webber House.

It's been boarded up for 20 years.

And WNUF TV 28 is gonna take you in live

and find out whether the rumors are true,

if it's in fact haunted, or whether it's just

supernatural rumors.

Mr. Bunny, do you know what happened here

in the Webber House?

-Yeah, some people got killed, their son went haywire.

-Okay, well that's actually pretty accurate.

Okay.

Do you know what happened in the Webber House?

-I know it was really gruesome, and there was lots of blood

and brains and everything everywhere.

-Okay, and, Dracula?

-Somebody died in this house?

-Well, yeah, that's why we're here.

Yeah, okay, well, for the actual gruesome facts,

take a look at this.

It all started in the summer of 1967.

Teenager Donald Webber discovered an old wooden

spirit board in the attic of the new house

he and his family had just moved into.

The spirit board, a device critics believe opens

a doorway to both spirits and demons,

quickly became Donald's obsession.

Over the course of the next few months,

Donald's fixation with the occult skyrocketed.

And his use of the game became a daily routine.

In his later court testimonies, Webber claimed

that spirits from the board were contacting him,

demanding that he commit serious criminal acts,

vandalism, theft, and even murder.

And then one fateful night in September 1967,

Donald Webber took an axe,

crept into his parent's bedroom,

and decapitated them.

--[Screaming]

-Webber called the police himself.

And when authorities arrived, they found young Donald

sitting on the curb, mumbling about how

the demons made him do it.

He was convicted of first degree murder

and executed in 1981.

But since these heinous crimes, no one ever moved back

into the accursed Webber House.

Local eccentrics believe it to be haunted,

an actual passageway between our world and the spirit world,

a building where demons and spooks can roam free

and threaten the lives of the living.

Local law enforcement continues to get calls

about disturbances on the grounds.

One officer we spoke to refused to let us show his face.

-I've been a cop in River Hill Township

for about 26 years.

And during that time, I've seen a lot of things,

some pretty horrific things,

but nothin' sends chills up my spine like goin'

in that house.

So we get a call there one night.

And I go in the house, and I'm checkin' around.

It was a disturbance call.

And I'm lookin' around.

And this woman comes toward me, only she's not walking.

She's floating.

And as she gets closer, all of a sudden, her head

falls off and hits the floor.

I blink my eyes, and she's gone.

I walk outside, and there's the entire squad

lookin' at me.

The sarge comes up to me, and he says,

"Now, what you've seen, we've all seen.

And we don't talk about it."

-Whether you believe in ghosts or not,

it's safe to say this place sure feels haunted.

How 'bout that, huh?

I'm gonna ask some questions of our crowd here.

Sir, tell me, do you believe in ghosts?

-No, but I know who to call if there are.

-Is that right? Yeah. And who would that be?

-Ghostbusters. -Oh, very funny, okay.

Sir, do you believe in ghosts?

-Well, I know that there's Casper the friendly ghost, but--

-Well, you know that wasn't a real ghost.

That was a fictional ghost.

I'm sorry if you didn't realize that.

I don't mean to burst your bubble.

You, ma'am, do you believe in ghosts?

-Hi. -Hi.

-Hi, hi!

What was the question?

-The question was, that I've been asking

everyone here for awhile, is -- okay,

do you believe -- try to focus here.

Do you believe in ghosts?

-Yeah, well no, yes, I --

-Yes, well, no.

-Like friendly kinds, like happy ghosts.

You know, like when your grandmother passes away,

but, you know, my mom told me you know, she would always

be there, and, you know, and she'll look after me.

Like, that's like, like she's happy.

-Yeah, and you believed her when she said that?

-Well, I mean, I like to. I think so.

-And they gave your dog away to a farm

where it could be happy, right?

-Oh, no, I didn't have a dog.

-Okay, all right, thank you.

Tell me, do you believe in ghosts?

-Yes, I do. -Do you?

And why? have you ever seen one, or...?

-Yes, I've seen one.

-Oh, really? Could you tell us about it quickly?

-Uh, it was a guy in a top hat.

-In a top hat, a top hat.

Did he have a bullet hole? Did he have a beard?

Abe Lincoln? In a top hat, you saw it.

Okay, so you actually do believe, and you've seen.

Okay, sir, in the back, do you believe in ghosts?

-[Grunting]

[Laughter]

-All right, I'm gonna take that as a yes.

When we come back, I'm gonna introduce you

to Louis and Claire Berger, the noted paranormal

husband and wife team that's gonna join us

when we enter the Webber House.

I'm Frank Stewart. We'll be right back.

[Thunder crashing]

-You're watching the WNUF Halloween Special.

--[Screaming]

-Gordon's Petting Zoo, located in Kirk County.

Open through the fall.

Bring the family.

Every weekend before Thanksgiving,

you get a free pony ride for bringing one canned food

item for our annual drive.

We've got it all.

All kinds of animals for you to pet,

llamas, rabbits, ducks, ponies, pigs, and so much more.

It's all at Gordon's Petting Zoo,

located in Kirk County.

♪♪

-At Epsilon Airlines, we do more than just get you

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We're number one in airline hospitality

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We're not going anywhere.

-This week on an action packed new episode

of "Chicago Lightning",

when a former police officer turns up dead,

detectives Dutch and Badger are left with a series

of unanswered questions that lead them on the trail

of a criminal mastermind.

It's the case of a lifetime with a climax so shocking

you won't believe your eyes.

Tune in, and check out the show TV Guide is calling

"Hot, fresh, and bad to the bone."

"Chicago Lightning", Thursdays at 9:00 p.m. on WNUF TV 28.

[Thunder crashes]

You're watching the WNUF Halloween Special.

--[Screaming]

-Welcome back to the WNUF TV 28 Halloween special.

I'm Frank Stewart, and I'm standing next to the noted

paranormal team of Dr. Louis Berger

and his wife, Claire.

They have over 30 years of experience investigating

paranormal happenings all over the country,

leading, leading experts in the field.

They're gonna be going in the house with us tonight.

And welcome to you both. Nice to see ya.

-Well, thank you for having us, Frank.

-Thanks, Frank. It's great to be here.

-Great, thank you.

Now listen, we're about to enter the house, but before we do

that, earlier this week, we had a chance to sit down

and talk to the Bergers.

They talked about their extensive history

with the occult.

It is truly, truly fascinating stuff.

Watch this.

What would you say if I told you that you could make

a living talking to the dead?

Well, that's just what Louis and Claire Berger do.

This husband and wife team travels the country

helping residents rid their homes of hostile ghosts

and malevolent hauntings.

It all started in 1954 when the Bergers founded

the Massachusetts Center For Psychic Phenomena.

Claire, a world renowned spirit medium,

met the young Louis Berger, a recent Korean War veteran

who had a growing fascination with the occult.

Together, they founded the Boston Museum

of the Paranormal and began their careers

as investigators of the supernatural.

Over the years, they have documented nationally

recognized cases of ghosts, demons, poltergeist,

and even visitors from other dimensions.

With the help of their four-legged friend,

their cat, Shadow,

Louis and Claire have made names for themselves

with their controversial cases.

Whether you believe in an afterlife or not,

there's no doubt that Louis and Claire Berger are

the leading experts in this field.

They've worked on over 216 cases of spirit infestation

in the last 10 years alone.

And tonight, they'll be leading our way into the Webber House.

Louis, Cl-- that okay if I call you Louis?

-I would prefer Dr. Berger.

-Okay, okay, Dr. Berger it is.

Dr. Berger, Claire, again, thank you for aiding

in our quest tonight.

-Well, thank you, Frank.

It's really wonderful to be here.

-That's great, thank you.

-Now, Dr. Berger, let me start with you.

Um, what exactly are ghosts?

Who are these tortured souls that come back,

interfering in the lives, trying to disrupt

people's lives, what are they?

-Well, Frank, while the physical body may cease to function,

there's another part of the being

that continues to remain,

an inner spirit, intellect, ego, the soul.

When the death comes in a very emotional way,

horrendous events such as murder or suicide,

the soul can swell with pain and sometimes --

-Swell, actually swell?

-Actually swell.

Yes, my wife and I really contend that this is

a psychic emotional projection.

So, the more violent the death,

the more volatile the ghost. -Exactly.

-This should be a very interesting evening.

I can share that with you.

-That's some far out stuff.

Now, Claire, you're a spirit medium, which means that

you use your psychic abilities for -- what?

-Well, I can communicate with these spirits

that have not been able to cross over.

And I've had this ability, oh, since I was

a very young child.

I noticed auras around people.

And I -- they had different colors

if they were telling the truth or if they were lying.

But I've been able to do that from a very young age.

-Auras, can -- do you see an aura here?

-Why, yes I do.

-A good aura?

-I see an aura.

-You see an aura, okay. That's interesting.

Let me ask you a question.

Has anyone ever called you Claire the clairvoyant?

-No.

-Okay, I see you brought with you your feline partner.

-Good term, Frank.

Shadow is more than a partner.

He's the third member of our team.

-Exactly. -Very, very sensitive.

He's like my wife.

-Very pretty pussy. -Yes, they --

-Thank you, thank you very much.

-So really a member of your team,

not just a family pet?

-That's right.

Shadow has extra sensory perception.

You've heard of that, but it's in a different sense.

-The cat has extra sensory perception?

-Yes, I rely very heavily on the intuition

and the energy I receive from Shadow.

And he is able to sense things before I do.

-Really? -So, he is a very important--

-Okay, well, that's great.

And we're sure glad you brought him along.

-I can tell you, Frank, he's nervous right now.

Is that right?

We haven't even entered the house though, doctor.

-That's why he's clairvoyant.

-Okay.

Some crazy stuff there, okay.

Hi. Okay.

We're about to, in a few moments, we're gonna go

inside the Webber House.

Now, remember, this is the house where Donald Webber

murdered his parents 20 years ago.

No one's been inside.

And we're about to go in this --

Oh, my God, what the hell was that?

Tom, Tom, did you get that?

Did you get that, Tom?

Folks, I don't know if you saw that,

but when I had turned around here,

there was something -- something flashed up in that window

right there.

There was something, a flash, or something

passed by that window.

And let me say this, no member of our crew is up there.

We haven't entered the building yet.

And we're gonna get to the bottom

when we come back.

I'm Frank Stewart. We'll be right back.

[Thunder crashing]

-You're watching the WNUF Halloween Special.

--[Screaming]

[Static crackling]

♪♪

-Louis Burger and his wife, Claire,

are clearly modeled on Ed and Lorraine Warren,

the husband and wife paranormal investigation team

that made millions on the Amityville movies,

and later on, The Conjuring universe

and the Annabelle movies, and that demon nun.

Um, actually, most of the big deals were done by Lorraine

after Ed died in 2006, but actually, "The Conjuring"

came out the same year as this movie,

so maybe that's what inspired those two characters.

But we'll ask Chris when he comes out.

Anyway, Ed and Lorraine Warren, he was a demonologist.

She was a clairvoyant, uh, had been ghost hunters since 1952.

And there's no evidence that they collected any money

directly from the studio on "The Amityville Horror."

But they did latch on to it as the experts

who verified the haunting in Amityville.

And then they used that in all their future work

to get new cases.

Then "The Conjuring" was the first of several cases

from quote, "the files of Ed and Lorraine Warren."

And horror fans are divided on

whether the Warrens were believable or not.

But they are definitely 80s icons,

good for grounding the fake tape in time and attitude.

And the same thing goes for the anti-Halloween protest group,

which is supposedly members of Meadow Ridge Baptist Church

who created the acronym "harvest", H-A-R-V-E-S-T,

although we're never told what it stands for.

This is obviously meant to evoke memories

of Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas,

headed by the notorious Reverend Fred Phelps.

Throughout the 80s, they were picketing

businesses and government buildings and schools

with anti-gay signs,

using words that were not allowed to use at Shudder.

Um, the Baptist church in general

has always been anti-gay,

but this was way over the top in the way

they would demonize the LGBTQ community.

All right. Darcy.

-Yes? -You told me you have --

now you have found footage data.

-Oh, I do actually. Okay.

So I consulted with the mutant fam,

and they all agree

that "The Blair Witch Project" is the best found footage film.

But there's a lot of other favorites

they want me to mention, as well.

-Okay. -Okay.

So the first two "Paranormal Activities."

-Really? Why not all seven "Paranormal Activities"?

But that's not found footage. -First two. That's all.

-That's we keep finding more footage.

-There's a lot of footage out there.

"Dream Eater" kept coming up.

-The one where the girl videotapes her boyfriend

sleeping because the doctor says it'll help

with his sleep disorder.

That one? -That's the one.

That's literally there are monsters under my bed.

-Yes. -That's what that story is.

-"Troll Hunter" comes up a lot. -"Troll Hunter",

the Norwegian government is covering up

that all the remote fjords

or whatever are inhabited by giant trolls.

People voted for that one? -They did.

-As a legitimate found footage film.

-"Troll Hunter", are you arguing the legitimacy?

They also mentioned "Host." -Haunted Zoom call. Okay.

-Yes. "Cloverfield." Big one I like.

-"Godzilla" as a found footage film.

No thank you. -Oh, that's okay.

The VHS films.

-How many of those are there? How many VHS films?

-Nine. -Nine?!

-I think. -Wow. That's some...

You know what that is?

That's somebody going around to the film festivals

and saying, "Hey, can I buy all your found footage short films?

I know you have dozens."

Because every recent film school grad is doing one.

-Probably.

And another one they mentioned is "The Last Broadcast."

-That's the one about the Jersey devil

that was made by the guys who say

"The Blair Witch Project" ripped him off,

but I don't think they tried to fool everyone the way

"The Blair Witch" did. So, okay.

The only one we've done on Shudder

is "WNUF Halloween Special."

-No, no, no, there's another one.

-What? -"Late Night With the Devil."

-Really? -It's found footage --

-Well, that's found footage that doesn't know

how to be found footage. -Yes, exactly.

-You know. -It counts.

-Um, it's definitely related to "WNUF"

because they're both in the sub-subgenre

of fake live telecast.

But here's my question.

All these found footage movies you listed,

did they fool anybody?

Did the people of Norway become concerned

that their government was covering up

the giant troll infestation?

-You know, no one that I can verify,

but there's probably a few people out there.

And some people are probably taken in

by "Paranormal Activities".

Those are convincing.

-It'd have to be "Paranormal Activity 1", right?

I mean, nobody goes, "Hey, look, they found more footage

about the same family!"

-Never underestimate the horror audience.

-Or overestimate it.

So at some point, the filmmaker knows

that the audience is never going to believe

that it's truly found footage.

Just the sheer number of found footage films ensures that.

So why does he make the movie anyway?

-Some critics say that it's a good way

to tell a confession story. -Mm.

Like, I'm going to leave this video behind

so that no one else will ever have to endure these horrors.

That kind of story? -Yeah. Like that.

But honestly, my own opinion, that it's just an easy way

to tell a story without a real structure.

Sorry. -True.

-Which is why I'm not a fan.

-You think "WNUF Halloween Special",

though, has a structure?

-Maybe a very loose one.

-Then let's figure out what it is.

-Okay, let's do it. -Roll the movie.

You know, they use found footage

in murder trials all the time now.

If you watch "The First 48", you know,

murder trial, you know, the first thing they do

is try to go get the found footage for the crime.

Um, if you robbed a 7-Eleven,

you're doing it in front of three cameras, in color,

in 3-D, in Imax, you know?

I mean, they can see the serial number on your gun

with those cameras, and yet people still rob 7-Elevens.

-Wearing really bad masks. -Yeah.

I mean, yeah, they'll never know that was me.

And meanwhile, they're wearing a sweatshirt

that has a raccoon wearing sunglasses on it.

[Cackling]

[Static crackles]

-I never wanted to be governor.

But when I saw what our current governor, Mike Barlow,

is doing to our beautiful state...

...something had to be done.

This fall, vote Robert Dandridge for governor.

Help put our state in a better state.

-Worried about your future?

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-Get ready for food, dancing, and crafts

at the 18th annual Greek Festival.

Sponsored by WNUF TV 28.

Traditional Greek cooking.

Traditional Greek folk dancing.

And plenty of hand-made arts and crafts.

It's the 18th annual Greek Festival

this weekend at the River Hill Fairgrounds,

Saturday and Sunday.

Doors open at 10:00 a.m.

Mention WNUF and get $1 off the price of admission.

The 18th annual Greek Festival, this weekend

at the River Hill Fairgrounds.

-What a beautiful country we Americans enjoy.

Fields of gold, rivers so mighty.

Why muck it up with litter?

Yuck.

Keep America clean and beautiful.

Don't litter.

This has been a message from the Clean Earth Society.

-Load up your arsenal and get ready for another

explosive installment of "Armed to Strike."

When Private First Class Toby Goodluck came back from

operations in Honduras, he returned to a hometown

devastated by crime, gangs, and violence.

Now he's taking matters into his own hands.

With the help of his old combat buddy, Jake Woolery,

our duo patrols the mean streets of Silver City,

cleaning up the scum of the Earth.

"Armed To Strike",

Wednesdays at 11:00 p.m. on WNUF TV 28.

[Thunder crashing]

-You're watching the WNUF Halloween Special.

--[Screaming]

-Ladies and gentlemen, we have sent the audience home because

we are about to crack open the doors to the Webber House.

Remember, this house has been vacant for 20 years.

And for the first time, we're about to go inside.

What horrible secrets will we uncover?

What strange apparitions lurk behind this doorway?

Let's find out right now.

Okay.

Okay.

It's a door. Okay, we're goin' in.

Okay, it's dank, it's musty.

We've got leaves all over the floor here.

We've got pieces of wood.

We've got some old furniture.

We've got a chandelier, if you can see down there on the floor.

-A cross on the -- -[Thudding]

Did you hear that?

-It came from upstairs, Frank.

-Or, maybe it's uh,

my producer playin' another prank on me.

Hey, Veronica?

Is there anybody upstairs?

-Nothin' -Anyway.

Now, Claire, tell me,

you feelin' anything?

The ghosts talkin' to ya?

Tell me.

-Give me a moment, it'll take a minute.

-It'll take a minute?

-Okay, just... -It takes a minute.

-Well, give us your initial impressions.

-Uh, my initial impression...

There's someone here.

-Uh-huh. -There's someone here.

It's a terrible feeling.

It's terrible, it's--

It's overwhelming.

It's overwhelming and--

and terrible.

It's horrible. It's full of malevolence.

It's not Donald.

It's not his parents.

Oh, my, oh my, it is --

It's pure evil.

-Uh, Claire, Claire, are we in danger here?

-We're not safe.

-And maybe that will translate to some good ratings.

Okay, now let me -- What?

Oh, no, the cat -- the cat.

-Shadow, come back.

-Look it, the cat's run up the stairs and --

Shadow has just apparently sensed something,

and the Bergers are following the cat.

Okay.

-Shadow, what do you sense?

-Obviously, something's sensed by the cat,

And they're going to check that out.

Now, around every corner is a sinister presence.

A diabolical twist on the tangled story

of murder and madness

that was spawned right inside this house.

Did evil demons command a Donald Webber

to do their bidding?

And if so,

are those demons still trapped inside this house?

Now, who better to know the nature of demons

than a respected member of the clergy?

Ask and you shall receive, I always say.

So tonight, WNUF TV

has invited Father Joseph Matheson

to join us.

Father Matheson is not only a respected Catholic priest,

but he is also, and perhaps more important tonight,

trained in the practice of exorcism.

Father, could you please come out and join us in here?

Father, thank you for being with us tonight.

Really, it's wonderful to have you here.

-Glad to, uh, be here, Mr. Stewart.

-Stewart -- or you can call me Frank.

-Okay, Frank.

Now, Father, let me ask you a question.

Is it possible that this house that we're in

is possessed by demons?

-Well, um...

You know, evil works in mysterious ways, Frank.

It's, um, it's unpredictable.

It's scary.

See, these demons exist for the one, sole purpose

of undermining the faith in the one true god.

And they cause these otherwise good people

to do terrible things.

-That's far out.

Now, now, Father, let me get this straight.

You are, in fact, trained in the art of exorcism.

Am I correct?

-Well, it's -- It's part of our arsenal.

I mean, whether it's a, you know, a wedding ceremony,

or a baptism, or last rites,

knowing how to perform a, uh, an exorcism

is part of what makes us a priest.

-So, did you take a course in this, or, how does that work?

-It's all part of what happens at the monastery, yes.

-All at the monastery.

Now, now, did you do well in your training?

Did, uh, he give you some ideas of --

-I mean, as far as this is concerned, I --

I would have to say

I've never had to perform one yet.

-Well, Father, I hope you don't have to tonight

but I got to tell ya,

there is something strange going on in this house.

You just might have to do that tonight, Father.

-Well...[Chuckles]

We'll have to see about that.

I mean, the uh, the church rarely grants such a request.

-You don't think of the publicity, huh?

Hey, uh, listen. Let's go to our producer,

Veronica, in the news van,

Veronica, how we doin' out there?

-Well, the weatherman was right, Frank.

There's a storm a brewin'.

It's a perfect night for ghosts and goblins.

Hope you closed all your windows,

'cause it's about to rain something awful.

Frank.

-Thanks, Veronica. When we come back,

we're gonna find out what the Bergers have discovered

upstairs, what their cat sensed.

And later, we're gonna go down to the basement,

where the bodies were found.

I'm Frank Stewart. We'll be right back.

[Thunder crashing]

-You're watching the WNUF Halloween Special.

--[Screaming]

[Static crackling]

-All right.

That's Paul Fahrenkopf as Frank Stewart,

channeling the style of Geraldo Rivera,

who had two famous TV specials in the 80s.

Um, there was the one

where Rivera broke through a wall

to get to the secret vaults of Al Capone.

And, uh, he did it just like, you know,

Frank's entry into the Webber House.

"It's dank, it's musty.

The floor is littered with dirt and empty bottles."

And actually, that was the contents of Al Capone's vault.

Dirt and empty bottles. Uh, the dangers of live TV.

And then in, um, 1988,

Geraldo had a two hour special called

"Devil Worship: Exposing Satan's Underground"

that was all about how satanism was taking

over the minds of America's young people.

Ozzy Osbourne did a live satellite interview for that,

and it was a huge hit with the audience.

20 million homes tuned in.

But NBC lost a half million dollars

because sponsors didn't want anything to do with it.

They didn't want their products associated with the program.

Um, they were only able to sell 14 of the 35

available commercial spots.

Three of those spots, I'm proud to say, were horror films.

Anyway, I've been spending all this time talking

about influences on the film

when we have with us the man who knows everything about the film,

and that would be writer-director Chris LaMartina.

Come on out, Chris. -[Cheering]

-Oh my gosh, thank you guys so much.

-Welcome to "The Last Drive In." -Welcome!

-Nice to meet you formally. -Cheers.

-Thanks for coming down from Baltimore, Chris.

This is one of those all Baltimore productions, right?

-Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

Everyone who was on the set was born and raised Baltimore.

-The Baltimore film community is, um,

weird in a good way, Chris.

Uh, it's very close knit.

You got John Waters as sort of the founder

of the Baltimore film community.

Do you know John?

-We see him at bars occasionally.

Yeah, but you try to let him have his own time,

and you don't want to be too intrusive.

-Have you ever sat in the genuine electric chair

that he bought for the foyer of his house?

-I have not. -Because we did a show there,

and the first thing he tells you

is you have to sit in the electric chair.

Anyway, and then, uh,

Don Dohler was always the horror guy in Baltimore.

"Night Beast", "Fiend", "Alien Factor."

Did you eve meet Don?

-Um, I didn't. Well -- -I know he passed away.

-When I was very little at conventions, right?

But he wouldn't he wouldn't know who I was.

But his partner on some of the later films,

Joe Ripple is the anonymous officer

that tells the story in the early part of the film.

And then, uh, Baltimore film royalty George Stover,

who was in Water's stuff and Don Dohler's stuff,

is Dr. Bloodwrench. -Okay.

-Okay, I know Don passed away just kind of right

when you were getting started, right?

So, okay, Chris, what's the back story of

"WNUF Halloween Special"?

What makes you decide in the year 2013

to make a found footage film?

-So, you know, I made a bunch of like

traditional narrative films.

I think I made five features before that,

and we were coming up on a summer

where we hadn't made a movie in a year.

And we were like, "Well, the only way we're going to do

one is if we do something simple,

like a found footage thing."

Um, but I don't like found footage movies

for the most part, so cheers to that.

Yeah.

Um, so I wrote a list of all the things

I hated about found footage movies.

And, um, so I was like, okay,

so one, to your point earlier, the idea of the conceit,

it didn't feel real.

If you, if you're watching a movie on streaming,

if you're, if you buy a movie with a UPC code,

it's fucking weird if it's something

that actually has something tragic and awful on it.

So that was one of the things we put away.

Uh, my ADHD is awful, and so basically I was like,

most found footage movies are monotonous.

There's like, I need something to break up that monotony.

And then the other part of the conceit was, you know,

like when something fucked up happens,

people would probably stop filming, right?

So I basically reverse engineered those three things.

Why do they keep filming?

Well, maybe they have to keep filming

because it's a TV broadcast, and TV broadcasts tie into revenue.

There's a business component to that.

And that invites the conversation about like,

you know, consumerism and marketing and the stuff,

my background being a creative director at an ad agency

was like that was part of the fun of making that movie

and having that cultural conversation.

-But wait a minute.

You think when something fucked up happens, people stop filming?

-[Laughter] -I know I was agreeing, too.

-Do you have TikTok?

-That's a good point.

I feel like now, I mean -- -This is amazing content!

-Yeah. That's fair.

That's actually -- man, this is this is what I'll do "WNUF 4."

-Oh, there you go. -Yeah, yeah.

Um, but no, and then the other two things were one,

the breaking up the monotony.

I was like, well, if it was a TV broadcast,

they actually couldn't stop rolling

for advertising revenues or things like that.

Um, it would have commercials.

And I'd seen so many people make these sort of projects

where it was like a TV thing,

but then they'd they'd cut out the commercials.

And for me, someone who legitimately

watches Halloween specials,

like the more lo-fi, the better, year round,

making the fake commercials is

why I was attracted to making the movie.

I remember saying to my my producing partner Jimmy

at the time, um, no one's going to like this movie,

but we're going to make it anyway.

And that's like sort of like it's been the gift

that keeps on giving because every Halloween,

like it finds the nerds it was made for.

-Well, I like the fact that you did

the commercial straight, um, you know,

so that they could possibly be real commercials.

Although sometimes I think you did sort of like go a little

to the campy side.

Like when you say on the demolition derby,

you go, "Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday!"

You know, okay. -Yeah. [Laughs]

We're having a little, you know,

we got to have a little bit of fun.

It is a horror comedy.

-But also you said that you had,

um, listened to or watched an Edgar Allan Poe séance.

-Oh, yes. Okay. -Tried to get in touch

Edgar Allan Poe?

-So, you know, Edgar Allan Poe famously died in Baltimore.

And, um, you know, it was just a city too cool for, uh,

for him to handle,

but, um, basically, uh, there was a séance.

They did a live on the radio séance

at the Edgar Allan Poe house, I guess back in the 70s,

and I hunted for trying to find recordings of this,

but I sort of cataloged that in the back of my head.

I was like, dude, what if something really awful

happened during that broadcast?

And, um,

that was like one of the starting points for the film.

-Okay. All right. So, Chris, we've determined

that you wanted to do the commercials,

it was the most exciting thing about it.

But you've got 51 commercials. -Yeah.

-But that's like the reality of it.

-Okay. Explain yourself.

-So okay, so here's the thing.

I mean, like, I think it's almost like,

I think an interesting comparison is like,

you know, there's a million traditional haunted house movies

you can watch, right? -Yeah.

-And the thing that I was attracted to

with making this project

was sort of like the outsider art component

and sort of that weird lo-fi exploration of like,

I don't know, like why things were --

it's like nice window dressing that sort of like

builds the authenticity.

-Did you really think, though,

that you could fool people into thinking this was

a lost VHS tape of a forgotten live show?

-No, of course not. But, I mean, you know,

you convince kids Santa Claus is real for like five or six years,

you know, and it's fun for them during that time.

-But you had a lot of like interesting

stealth strategies for getting people to watch it, right?

-Yeah, I mean, we dumped it on torrent sites

before it was released commercially.

-Okay. That's cool. -Yeah.

And it had a fake description.

It was like, "My godmother Lulu taped this off

of WNUF back in '87."

And that's the thing. Like, that's like one of

the starting points when I sat down to write my draft of it,

I went to my godmother Lulu's house,

and she taped tons of shit.

I mean, she, she taped a ton of episodes of "MonsterVision"

for me, and, like, I went over there.

Yeah, dude, Lulu fucking rules. Cheers to Lulu.

Everyone, cheers to my Lulu. -Lulu.

-Yeah. Yeah.

But it's funny. Like, uh, I she had tapes.

She had like four hours of the Challenger explosion.

Like she taped every news broadcast.

She had specials, uh, of this show, um,

where there was a whole episode about bedwetting.

So I put those on as background noise,

and I wrote my draft of the movie

before I passed it off to my writing partner.

-And what were your instructions

for your editors and your actors?

-There's a couple of things.

I did send them reference videos of certain people

that I wanted them to be modeled after.

-Yeah.

-And then when we did the rehearsal --

so the film is fully scripted, but there's a lot of ad libbing

because, and we did this rehearsal process

that was very interesting.

We would do a read through of the scene,

and then I would turn out the lights.

So they couldn't look at their script.

And I would give everyone -- I would give one flashlight.

So and that was for twofold.

One, so they didn't look at their fucking scripts.

But then the second part of it was,

you've got to get used to talking into a microphone,

because that's the only way we're hearing your voice.

Because no one was marked with a boom mic,

no one was miked with lav mics.

So if they didn't talk into the stick mic,

that was all they had.

So that was the rehearsal process.

And I think we did like three or four rehearsals.

Then we shot. The majority of the film was shot --

I think we shot like 47 pages in like two days.

-47 pages in two days? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Wow. Okay. -Wow.

-All right, well, we're at the point in the movie

where Shadow the cat has just run upstairs,

apparently spooked by the bad vibrations in the house.

So let's get back to the movie. Roll it.

And, um, you're the pride of the film school

at Towson State, right?

-Not anymore. Dude, they have Mike Flanagan.

-Oh! -Aw.

-Call me, Mike.

-Baltimoreans are really proud of their city.

And, um, are you a hard core Baltimorean?

-Greatest city in America. For real.

-Okay. -Yeah.

-You never got that yearning to go to LA?

-I got the itch, and I thought about it.

But then ultimately, I decided to stay in Baltimore,

and I think if I had gone out to LA,

"WNUF" wouldn't have existed.

All the opportunities I've had creatively in my life

have been because I sort of did the DIY punk rock thing

and said, I'm going to, you know, turn the barn into

a theater and do my own shit.

And that was -- I'm really glad I didn't.

-Thing is, I have problems with Baltimore.

-A lot of the residents do, too. [Laughs]

-They scoff at people like me

who don't know the proper way to eat a crab, you know?

-That's fair.

-You better study up, if you're going to go to Baltimore,

study up on how to eat a crab before you go there,

or you'll be like the scum of the earth.

-I mean, I'm a sloppy eater. I eat the lungs.

I'm a disgusting person.

-Ew! Crabs have lungs? Oh, my God.

[Laughter]

[Cackling]

[Static crackling]

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And the more they become part of our lives,

the more we will need trained technicians to repair them.

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Call the Broadcast Institute for Television and Radio today.

-This Wednesday, on a very special "King of Castle Lane"...

-Jack's back!

-How unexpected.

-Unexpected, like a summer cold.

-Uncle Jack was drinking something

that looked like medicine.

[Audience ooh-ing]

-You drank a bottle of vanilla extract.

-I'm sorry.

Did you want some?

-You have a drinking problem, Jack.

-I don't have a drinking --

[Fast forwarding]

-Your kids go to parties.

What kind of games do you think they're playing?

♪♪

They think it's no big deal.

Just harmless fun, where everyone gets a turn.

But they never bothered to check the rules.

And think they can stop anytime they want.

There's many ways to play,

but they all lead to the same result.

Game over.

Playing with drugs is playing with death.

[Thunder crashing]

-You're watching the WNUF Halloween Special.

-[Screaming]

-Ladies and gentlemen, during the commercial break

the Bergers have made a startling discovery.

Actual sound evidence of the existence

of a paranormal entity in this house.

Now, Dr. Berger, could you explain the process here?

-Well, it's called EVP, Frank.

It's called Electronic Voice Phenomenon.

-EVP? Uh-huh. -Yes.

-I have felt the presence in this house,

this evil presence.

I feel it all around.

It doesn't want us here, it's very angry.

It's very upset.

But now, with the EVP,

we have audible proof

of the feelings that I am having,

the sensories that I'm getting.

-So, this is sort of confirmation of what you've been

feeling as soon as you entered the house.

-Yes, absolutely, Frank. Absolutely, yes.

-Now, Doctor, could you explain how this all works?

-Well, Frank, the first thing we did,

we set up the recording equipment.

And then we asked a question.

Let me just play it back for you.

You'll get the whole idea, okay? -Okay.

-Now listen close.

-Are there any spirits in the house

that would like to talk with us tonight?

-Leave.

-Did you hear that?

Did you hear the voice?

-I did hear something.

-Did you hear what it said?

-I--I couldn't quite tell what it said.

-It said, "Leave."

-It said, "Leave"? -Yes.

-I heard something.

-Let me play it again for you, okay?

-Okay.

-...in the house that would like to talk with us tonight?

-Leave.

-You had to hear that. Did you hear it?

-I-I did hear it.

I did, I have to admit, I heard it.

-Leave, yes, leave. -Yeah.

Ooh, that is something, yeah.

-I have to ask you,

has your producer found Shadow yet?

-This is very unusual for him. -It is unusual.

Now, and I know it is, and I know you're very concerned,

but I'm sure Veronica would have let me know.

So, I'm gonna have to assume that the crew's still, uh,

looking for the cat.

I'm sure they'll find it, yeah.

-Well, I'll tell you, I-I have a very bad feeling,

a very bad aura.

There's a bad aura going on here,

and I think it would be most wise if Father Matheson

immediately performed an exorcism.

I think it's very imperative.

-Well, I understand your feeling, Claire,

and how strong it is.

But look, I think it might be better if we actually --

We haven't been downstairs to the basement yet.

And if there's one place here that's haunted,

it's where the bodies where disposed of.

So, why don't we go downstairs

and see how you feel, Claire, when you get down there.

And who knows, maybe the cat's there.

And, get an actual, um...

Go down to the actual basement where the bodies of

Donald Webber's parents were found.

Okay, we're heading down to the basement now.

Now, this is a true dungeon of unspeakable horror.

This is the very room where Donald Webber

disposed of the bodies of his parents,

after he murdered them and decapitated them.

And, let me ask you this, Claire.

After listening to the EVP recordings,

after getting the feelings that you had downstairs,

and even upstairs,

do you think that there are demonic entities in this house?

-Oh, Frank, it is...

-It is a certainty. -Let's keep walking, yeah.

-A certainty.

-A certainty? -A certainty.

There is no question in my mind,

in my heart, in all the senses that I have,

my extra senses,

there is evil.

-As we get to the basement, you're feeling it.

-I am feeling something.

-[Crashing] -Wait, whoa. Hold on!

This is -- This is not staged.

What we just heard came from the area where we just were.

And instead of going downstairs,

let's go back

and see exactly what that noise was.

Come on.

Come with me. You got me, guys?

All right, we're goin' back down here, okay?

We're going back.

Actually... -What was that sound?

-You with us? Okay.

Okay, can you --

Can you get the cameras in here so we can get some light?

Can you get in here, Tom?

-Oh, my God! What happened?

-Look, my recorder!

-Lord, look at this! -1,000 bucks!

-Oh, my God, look at this!

-All right, everybody.

I don't -- I don't know what happened.

Everybody relax.

Listen, we're gonna get to the bottom of this

when we come back.

And then, we're gonna go down to the basement,

where Donald Webber disposed of his parent's bodies.

I'm -- I'm Frank Stewart. We'll be right back.

Okay, all right. All right, relax, come on.

-It's in the contract, Frank!

[Thunder crashing]

-You're watching the WNUF Halloween Special.

-[Screaming]

-Summer may be over, but the fun doesn't have to be.

The ocean is open all year round.

Avalon Beach Rentals is now offering rates

far more affordable than the crowded summer months.

Come and check out our many attractions.

The haunted house on Perry Pier makes a great Halloween haunt.

Scallops on the Bay serves a four-course Thanksgiving

the pilgrims would have loved.

And get ready for Christmas with crafts and curiosities

from Shantyside Mall.

Contact Garland Travel.

♪♪

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-Oh, nothing, I'm fine.

-It's your tampon, isn't it?

-How did you know?

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we need long-lasting protection made by women,

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-How about round two?

[Laughing]

-Do you find the high cost of electric work shocking?

Then you need to call the friendly folks

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We do it all -- wiring, sockets, fixtures, and more.

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-The cutting edge is gonna make your ears bleed.

Wake the neighbors with rock.

If they're not watching, they can listen.

WNUF late Fridays,

we bring you "The Quarry."

All the rock you'll ever need.

Hosted by 96 JAMS' Blaze Olvedi.

You'll get the biggest hair and the baddest attitudes.

Some TVs only go up to M.

Ours goes up to Q.

The Quarry.

♪♪

[Thunder crashing]

-You're watching the WNUF Halloween Special.

-[Screaming]

-Welcome back to the WNUF Halloween Special.

I'm producer Veronica Stanze.

What you just witnessed before the commercial break

was unscripted and not planned.

However, the show must go on.

And in just a few moments, your host, Frank Stewart,

and his team of experts, will conduct the first ever

live on TV séance.

Viewers, feel free to call in on the number below.

And without further ado, here's Frank.

-Okay, thank you, Veronica.

You know, we've had a lot of wild experiences

in this house tonight,

but none is to compare

to the one that we're about to experience.

I am sitting next to Claire Berger,

noted psychic expert,

who'll be fielding your calls and relaying them

and answering the questions that you have

of the entities in this house.

Okay, Claire, is anyone out there?

-There is someone here.

They're ready to talk.

-Okay, then.

Let's open up the lines for our first caller.

-Okay, anyone.

Come on, send your call in.

This is your opportunity to participate

in the first live on TV séance.

We're waiting for your calls.

Okay, we've got our first caller.

It's, uh, Ian from Fairview.

Okay, Ian.

All right, let's take a listen.

Ian?

Go ahead with your question.

-Iron Maiden rules!

White Lion sucks!

Whoo!

-Okay, I really didn't understand that.

It's obviously some kind of crank call.

Listen, people.

This is a very serious thing.

We've got one of the experts in the world.

This is the first live on TV séance.

Please, let's not waste her time or our time.

And, call in with your real questions

for the entities in this house.

-I have a question for you, Frank.

-Yes? -Who broke my recorder?

And who's payin' for the goddamn thing?

-Well, it seemed like a demonic entity

did it, Dr. Berger.

And as far as a payment,

as I said before, repeatedly,

we'll discuss that with my producer afterward.

We'll figure that all out. Just relax.

Let's get into the mood of the séance, okay?

-It's difficult without the cat, that's all I have to say.

-Difficult without the cat, without the equipment.

All right, let's get back to the séance.

Okay, caller. We got another.

We've got Fran from Chestertown here, okay?

Let's play it.

Let's -- Let's -- Let's go to Fran.

Okay, what's your question?

-Yeah, uh, I was wondering

if you could contact my dead grandmother

and call her a bitch.

-Okay, all right, stop.

First of all, with the language, okay.

We're on television here.

Seriously, we've got to have questions about the entities

in this house.

Not your dead grandparents, okay?

So let's be serious.

Let's get some real calls in here, okay?

Call in right now.

We've got Claire Berger here.

She's ready to channel those questions.

Okay, come on.

Let's get the calls in.

-Um, uh, Frank. -Yeah?

-Um, can I ask her a question?

-Oh, sure, yeah.

-Uh, Claire, um... -Yes?

-Now these, um, these spirits, these beings that you're

in contact with,

do you know who they are?

And, um...

do you know what they want?

-Justice.

-Justice. -Don't we all?

-They -- There's a deep, deep sense of betrayal.

This -- This entity or entities have been wronged.

-Amen. -They feel deeply,

deeply betrayed.

-Did you have any sense, Claire,

of how old these spirits might be?

-Older. -Older, okay, well...

Could it be Paul and Linda Webber?

-It's...

It's possible.

-Now, Claire, you mentioned justice.

Could it be

that Donald Webber did not kill his parents,

that somehow he was framed,

and that the real killer is still out there?

-It's not that simple, Frank.

It comes in spurts. It's, uh, organic.

-Look, look, look, the viewers want to know.

We just want to hear from Claire.

-It's not clear. I am not getting a clear vision.

There is too much energy.

They're conflicting with one another.

I cannot get a clear reading on this one!

I need my cat. I need -- I need Shadow.

-I-I understand.

We're gonna find Shadow somewhere.

We're gonna find Shadow.

Stop with the equipment, okay? Listen.

All right, wait, we've got another caller here.

Anonymous? Okay.

We have a caller who wants to be anonymous,

and we're gonna grant that request.

Okay, go ahead, anonymous caller.

-This is blasphemy!

You're all going to burn in the fiery pits of Hell!

-Okay. Thank you for that, uh...

that comment.

Listen, Claire, why don't we approach this another way.

Let me ask you a question.

Do any of these spirits in the house,

might they have any good stock tips, uh,

lucky lottery numbers, that kind of thing?

-Frank, this is not funny. This -- This is not a joke.

-I am not suggesting it's a joke.

I'm just trying to find out if --

[Cat screeching]

-Shadow! -Was that Shadow?

-Yes! -Shadow!

Oh, my God, Shadow!

Shadow, where -- He doesn't sound good.

We'll be right back.

[Thunder crashing]

-You're watching the WNUF Halloween Special.

-[Screaming]

[Static crackling]

-All right, as everybody rushes out of the room,

I have to tell you, Chris,

my favorite moment in the movie is

when the guy calls into the séance to say,

"Iron Maiden rules, White Lion sucks."

[Laughter]

-I have to give a shout out to my buddy Jimmy Gingrich,

because that was an ad lib.

-When the children cry, right, turn off that fucking MTV.

You know, it's like when they would play that song,

they would play, like, all these cool songs on MTV,

and then they'd play "When the Children Cry."

-Wait, are you disrespecting White Lion?

That's not cool.

[Laughter]

-I don't like that.

-Well, it's true, White Lion sucks.

[Laughter]

-Alright. We're not going there right now.

-You really think all the calls would be

prank calls, though?

-Uh, I think in this town, they would be.

-Because you also have that

"Tell my grandmother she's a bitch" call, you know?

-Well, that's the whole thing. We had...

None of the actors in the scene

knew what the calls were going to be,

and I had 10 options, and I would randomly hit one

and have them react to it in real time.

-Oh, okay. -Yeah.

-So this brings me to my key question,

which is, who does this tape belong to?

Who is controlling the tape?

Who is fast forwarding and everything?

And why are they showing it to us?

You don't have to do any spoilers,

but you know who it is, right?

You know who it is even if we don't.

Okay, so you had made several movies before this movie,

but you were still working a couple of jobs.

You said you were living in a basement.

-Yeah, so I was literally like,

single dude living in a basement.

I would literally eat a can of beans for breakfast and lunch.

I would eat the same can.

But I was working at an advertising agency,

and during that time, I went from like editor

to like producer to creative director.

And it was like this cool time

where all I cared about was making "WNUF",

making our next movie, "Call Girl of Cthulhu."

And then. -But you were playing

in a punk band too, right? -Oh, yeah.

I mean, I still play in punk rock bands.

But yeah, I mean, like singing for a punk band,

playing drums in a punk band, barely sleeping, but yeah.

-But then you're editing video for some government...

-Yeah. No.

So at the time we made "WNUF", I was working at an agency,

so doing like more like social media content and commercials.

But before that, I worked for the city of Baltimore's

government TV channel, and I was like, you know,

ENG News cameras like...

-Well, that sounds exciting.

-Uh, it had its moments.

I mean, it was like to a certain degree, it was like living

season four of "The Wire."

So yeah.

-What's the name of your punk band?

-Well, the band I'm currently in is called Beach Creeper,

and we're a surf punk band that plays songs about, uh, you know,

cryptids and monsters.

And then back then, it was a band called, uh,

Pure Junk and Charm Offensive.

-Okay, now, did this movie turn it around for you?

You got reviewed by The New York Times.

-Yeah. -And more importantly,

you sold it to Shudder.

-Big time. Yeah.

So what was really interesting,

and maybe this is like a lesson for any aspiring filmmakers

at home watching, like,

you know, it was -- it never turned lucrative.

Like, you know, like, any money

I've made from making horror movies could not

allow me to buy my insulin, right?

Um, but what I will say is it's provided things like

when I mention this to people at conventions or whatever,

I basically drink for free at the end of the night

because ome people are huge "WNUF" fans.

And while it's been bad for my liver,

it's been really good for my heart

because it's been able to even find those connections to,

you know, like minded weirdos.

And that's really the important part.

But after "WNUF" was made, we got very few offers.

We got a handful of offers

to make movies at like the 100 grand level.

But that also coincided with me being

a creative director at this point

at an agency where like, at a 100 grand movie,

the director's not making 100 grand.

You're making like five grand or something, right?

And I couldn't walk away from a job

that was a real career at that point.

So I kept making horror movies

because I love making horror movies,

but it's, um, the money never,

ever made sense to make that pivot.

You know, it just wasn't there.

And that's okay. -So let me ask you this.

What was the Webber House?

I assume it's a free location since.

-It was absolutely a free location.

We used it in like four fucking movies.

It's definitely a free location.

It's the gift that keeps on giving.

-What is it?

-It is a former -- I believe the formal term is rectory.

It's where priests lived, Catholic priests lived.

And it was on the grounds of a nursing home,

sort of a hospital for elderly folks.

-Oh. -Yeah.

It makes your movie even more evil.

-Well, I mean, if you want to get really dark and depressing,

people are familiar with the show

on Netflix series "The Keepers", the docu series,

one of the priests that was spotlighted

in that lived there and ended his life there.

-Okay. -Wow.

-Yeah.

-Your movie gets compared to "Ghostwatch" a lot.

-Yeah.

-The the fake BBC live newscast from a haunted house.

Supposedly when they did it on the BBC,

it was responsible for a suicide.

Very controversial.

They've never shown it again I don't think.

-So it's funny, I was unfamiliar with "Ghostwatch"

at the time we made it, and there's other things

I think were clearly inspired

I think might be even more obvious than "Ghostwatch".

Because it wasn't available in the United States

until, um, I guess it was on Shudder, formerly.

I guess I could have downloaded an illegal version or something,

which is not above me.

But I will say, um, I was on a podcast with Leslie,

the director of "Ghostwatch" years later,

and I was always dumbfounded because I was like, dude,

you did that, like that --

should that have exploded your career?

But her, it was sort of like that hurt her career.

-Really? -Deeply.

Because it was so controversial when it aired there.

But no, I hadn't seen it until I was prepping

to be on the podcast with Leslie.

And it's a great movie, but it's a different movie.

Like I think, you know, she said a really nice

thing to me on there. She's like, "Your movie feels

so different and so unique, it's uniquely American."

And I would probably say it differently.

I'd probably say "WNUF" is obnoxiously American.

But that's like, that was like what we were going for.

And, um, you know, I always joke that

"WNUF" is like if Christopher Guest made

a found footage horror movie.

And I think that's kind of the vibe I was going for.

-Okay, now, I didn't see the sequel to

"WNUF Halloween Special."

But tell us about that.

-Yeah, so it's called "Out There Halloween Mega Tape."

And basically it takes place in the 90s,

sort of a marrying of like, imagine if Jerry Springer

hosted an episode of "Sightings."

So if people are listening to this

and like you remember "Sightings" and you miss it

deeply, I would seek out the sequel.

It's not on streaming, and this is another thing

I'll tell all the horror fans watching.

Like, if you want to support your filmmakers,

buy physical media.

The money for us comes from things like that.

So yeah, we made "Out There Halloween Mega Tape."

-So buy a copy of, what's the title?

-"Out There Halloween Mega Tape."

-"Out There Halloween Mega Tape."

-Yeah, the conceit is that you're buying it from

like a Trader Tony's Tape Dungeon,

which is a bootleg mail order catalog from the 90s.

And then we just did a spin off called

"Trick or Treat With Reed Richmond"

that came out, uh, last year.

And, uh, that is basically if you taped a Halloween special

on Sci-Fi Channel in the 90s, so...

-Okay. -Cool.

-Yeah, I've got a problem. -Okay.

And I should tell the audience before we let you go,

that you packed all the action into the last 21 minutes,

but you did one thing that's unforgivable, Chris.

This is a spoiler. Cover up...

If you don't want to hear the spoiler,

cover up your ears for about one minute now.

Chris, you killed a cat.

-I know, I'm sorry.

-You killed Shadow!

-Aw. -Justice for Shadow.

-For real. -But I, um -- No, it's funny.

This was before I was a cat person, and now I am.

And I would never do it again.

-I can see some cat remains. -'Cause you hated cats then?

-I just didn't care.

And then two cats came into my life

that I love so much.

And I feel like a monster, to be honest.

-Well, you are. -I know.

-I could see some cat remains there on the floor,

but not a whole lot.

You know, you could have done worse.

-Okay, we're going to go back. -Good job.

-We're going to go back to the very surprising conclusion

of the "WNUF Halloween Special."

Thanks for being here, Chris.

Let's hope you get some big budgets to work with.

And, uh, what is your next one? What's your next film?

-So I have a movie that Terrorvision actually

paid for called "Spirit Tasting."

It's a New Year's Eve movie.

It's basically a riff on "Monkey's Paw"

about some friends who play in punk rock bands.

They go to this distillery

and strong arm their way into a private tasting,

where the person hosting the tasting asks for a wish

or a dream for the future or the past.

And basically, those wishes come true in awful ways.

So it's, you know, it's we shot it in four days for 40 grand.

It was part of my 40th birthday gift to myself.

-Oh, wow. Okay. Roll the film.

Whose cat was that?

-Uh, it was my friend Alison's cat.

-Okay. Was the cat okay? -Oh, the cat was fine.

The cat actually had a blast because the cat,

um, got out right before we shot that scene.

We spent probably 90 fucking minutes,

uh, looking for the cat in this epic mansion

where we shot the movie.

Um, and, you know, when you're shooting, like, you know,

40 some pages in two days, it's like,

please, we got to find this fucking cat.

Like everyone on the set was like

going through every corridor of this house.

-Oh, man.

At least you didn't pull a Ruggero Deodato and say,

"We must have realistic, the animals must die."

I mean, could you even do that today without going to jail?

-No, because if anyone tries it,

I will hunt them down and prosecute them myself.

-All right. -Just saying.

-Well, let me -- -You get it now.

-Big time. -Just as a hypothetical, Darcy.

What if some crazy director finds an actor

who wants to end his life?

You know, he wants euthanasia.

-But... -That was pretty funny.

-Yeah.

-But he says, "Well, as long as I'm going to do it,

why not use it in a scene?"

-Are you thinking if I think that's okay?

-Is that okay? -I think it's okay.

I think it should be okay, yes.

If he can consent to it. -All right.

That's what I thought. All right, now...

-What?

-What if it's a cat?

The cat is already dying. Only has a few days to live.

-And it can talk and articulate its consent.

-No, you can't use the cat. Is that what you're asking?

-No, no, wait a minute. Let me make it tougher.

What if you're taking the cat to the vet

specifically to euthanize the cat?

You're on the way to the vet already?

Can you use that?

Can you use the death of that cat?

-No. -Why?

-Because the cat can't say, "Okay, you can do that,"

and, like, stamp its paw or something.

No, you can't. You have to have permission.

-You can probably get a release from a cat.

-No, you can't. How are you going to do that?

-This got dark.

[Cackling]

[Static crackles]

-Come on down. Phil's Carpet Warehouse

We got floor rugs, bathroom --

[Fast forwarding]

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when all you want to do is rock out?

Well, wait no more

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Take a hike, Arnold.

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-Our children are changing.

They're getting bad grades.

They're talking back to us.

They're lost.

Our streets are riddled with crime.

Guns, knives.

Monsters lurking in the shadows.

No one is safe anymore.

And there's one culprit.

Drugs are changing America.

Save your children.

Clean up our streets.

Bring peace back to this country.

Stop drugs, and save your children's future.

[Thunder crashing]

-You're watching the WNUF Halloween Special.

-[Screaming]

-We've got a contract.

-Stick that contract up your ass!

-Folks, I'm sorry.

I don't know how to explain this.

But something so horrible had happened

during the last segment.

Well, during that last segment --

-Show the murder! -Stop, stop!

No, Tom, no, no! Don't show it!

My God, Jesus!

Tom, stay on me!

Look.

-You're sick, you and your media.

-Look, Dr. Berger, I can assure you that neither myself

nor anyone on my crew would ever hurt an animal!

We did not hurt this cat, I swear to you.

I swear to you.

V-V-Veronica, I think you need to take over for a minute.

-On behalf of myself, Frank Stewart,

and WNUF as a whole,

I would like to apologize to our viewers

for the painful image you just saw.

We will continue with the Halloween Special

in just a few moments.

But for now, please enjoy this video

about dentist Stanley Allen's

Candy For Kids Trick-Or-Treating

Buy Back Program.

-While some of us may be afraid of demons and vampires,

a dentist's worst nightmare is...

-Halloween!

Halloween is a dentist's worst nightmare.

-Doctor Sta--

[Fast forwarding]

-WNUF Halloween Special.

-[Screaming]

-Squawk! Chirp!

Meow! Woof!

No, I'm not going crazy.

I'm talking about Joey's Pets.

Dogs. Cats. Birds. Fish.

And even exotic animals.

Supplies, medicines, and toys.

Anything and everything you need

to give man's best friend all he needs.

A pet can last you a lifetime of happiness.

Make yours kids happy.

Give them what they want.

Joey's Pets.

"We had you a WOOF!"

-Every Wednesday night is local music night

at Good Standing's Bar and Grill.

Come see the best local talent rock the casbah

while enjoying great drink offers

and delicious cuisine,

including our famous chili cheeseburgers.

This week's talent includes folk musician Beth Hornberry,

plus, local bands Papertrail

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Wash down Chestertown's best bar food

with special music night drink offers.

Wednesdays are local music nights

at Good Standing's Bar and Grill.

Located at 201 Cinder Lane, just past the bowling alley.

-Do the current crop of wine coolers

make you just want to die?

Well, arise from that grave

with Frumkes new autumn berry blend

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You'll have a bloody good time with our delicious fall flavors.

Frumkes new autumn berry blend.

-Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday!

At the Riverhill Fairgrounds.

The Demons of Demolition Derby return.

Death-defying, mid-air flying.

Pray that no one leaves the place dying.

This Tuesday at the Riverhill fairgrounds.

We'll sell you the whole seat,

but you're only gonna need the edge.

-Looking for an assortment of quality shopping items

at affordable prices?

Look no further than The Shops at Chestertown Mall.

Sporting goods, electronic devices,

and of course, the latest knit clothing

and salon fashions.

If you stop by The Shops this Saturday, from 11:00 to 3:00,

you can meet actor Zachary Bannon,

the star of Television's "Galaxy Pilot".

He'll be signing autographs and taking pictures

outside of Token's Video Arcade and Pizzeria.

The Shops at Chestertown Mall.

Shop till you drop at prices that won't make you stop.

[Thunder crashing]

-You're watching the WNUF Halloween Special.

-[Screaming]

-Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a stunt.

This is not some Halloween prank.

The grizzly evidence

of the supernatural is real.

An evil force inside this house

murdered the Berger's family pet,

their partner in their investigative

paranormal team.

Now, Lewis and Claire have left the house.

They are upset.

They are grieving.

I understand their pain.

But, folks,

this is not show business.

This is the paranormal.

Now, Father.

Do you now believe that there are demonic entities

inside this house?

F-Father?

Is this the work of the Devil?

-I, um...

I-I don't know.

-Well, Father, in the last year or so,

there's been a -- a big increase

in the amount of Satanic activity

throughout the country, but especially

in this area, itself.

You have Pagan vandalism, animals sacrifices,

that sort of thing.

Wouldn't you agree, that's been, uh,

on the rise?

Okay.

Well, recently, WNUF TV did a special report

on the cases of devil worship in the area.

Now, I have to warn you,

some of the parts of this story are a bit intense,

so our more sensitive viewers,

if you're watching with your kids,

to change the channel for just a bit.

But make sure to come back to us.

For the rest of you, check this out.

-Satanism.

Devil worship.

Right here in our town?

Local police have been wary to investigate

reports of animal mutilation

and graveyard vandalism

as ritualistic acts of evil.

And we are just as wary to report them as news.

But you can't ignore the dozens of cases

that have been popping up all over Riverhill Township

over the past year.

From the blood red spray paint

across local businesses

to the scene here at St. Peter's

in Chestertown,

where someone left a dead dog carcass

on the front steps of this church.

-It was horrible!

I came in on Saturday morning to clean the church.

And someone had taken this poor dog,

all cut up, gutted,

laid out right there on the altar.

-But are these violent and disturbing crimes

evidence of a larger scale operation

that includes Satanic worship and the occult?

Many in our community seem to think so,

including county councilman, Ray Thompson.

-Let me tell you somethin',

these kids nowadays...

they're scared,

they're vulnerable.

I mean, you turn on the TV, you listen to the radio,

there's all these songs about "I love Satan and the Devil".

I mean, it's no wonder, to me,

that these kids are staying out late.

They're drinkin'.

Next thing you know, they think it's perfectly fine

to go down to the neighborhood church

and paint funny symbols on the walls.

And then they start cuttin' up animals.

-Councilman Thompson reinforces a sentiment across the country,

national reports of Satanic activity are on the rise.

Recently, a Pittsburgh College student

was found guilty of murdering his girlfriend

because, in his words,

the Devil had instructed him to do so.

A similar case in Dayton, Ohio,

where a female volunteer at a local animal shelter

sacrificed 19 stray cats

in an attempt to get closer to a being

she referred to only as "The Dark Lord".

It's difficult to fathom these unspeakable acts

happening in our city.

But local police have asked all residents to keep an eye out

and report any activity

that could be considered cult-related.

I'm Veronica Stanze, TV 28.

-Now that stuff,

that's scary.

Huh, Father?

Father, if I were to ask you to perform an exorcism,

could you do it?

Would you do it?

-Mr. Stewart...

Frank.

As I've stated before,

in theory, yes, I could.

The question is, would I?

As I have stated before, the church rarely grants

such a request.

-Father, there is obviously negative energy in this house.

Claire felt it, the cat felt it, I felt it.

Certainly, you must feel it.

-I think it would be in our best interest

to call the police in for an investigation.

-Father, you can't put handcuffs on a ghost.

I mean, are we even on the same page here?

Do you think there are demonic entities in this house?

-It is possible.

-Now, Father,

we only have so much time left in this broadcast,

and I think it's important that we do something

to protect ourselves.

And in that vein, I am asking you --

No, I am begging you, Father.

Will you perform an exorcism on this house?

Please.

-All right. I will perform an exorcism.

-Okay. When we come back,

the brave Father Matheson is gonna perform an exorcism

on the Webber House

and rid it of the demonic spirits that are present.

I'm Frank Stewart. Stay tuned.

[Thunder crashing]

-You're watching the WNUF Halloween Special.

-[Screaming]

-You've seen them investigate the paranormal live on TV.

Now, read all the startling facts about occult researchers

Louis and Claire Berger

in their new book,

"Abomination: the Devil in Akron."

This terrifying, firsthand account

documents an actual case

of demonic possession.

Call in now, and order your very own copy.

"Abomination."

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So hot.

I'm steaming inside.

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-Why is life so tough?

-When will I find love?

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-How am I gonna pay these bills?

-Why can't all my problems go away?

-You've been looking for the answers.

You think you found one.

You haven't.

Not everybody's problems have the same right answer.

But, they all have the same wrong one.

Suicide is never the answer.

If you're thinking about suicide,

call us at Lifeline.

We're here 24 hours a day.

Completely anonymous.

Let a stranger be a friend.

[Thunder crashing]

-You're watching the WNUF Halloween Special.

-[Screaming]

-During the commercial break,

we have moved down to the basement

of the Webber House.

This is the very sight where Donald Webber

disposed of the decapitated bodies of his parents.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, we have seen some

extraordinary things tonight.

Paranormal disturbances.

Animal mutilation.

Crimes so heinous and terrifying

that some of our guests have even left the program.

Folks, the Webber House is haunted.

Haunted by demonic forces

that want nothing more than to drive us, the living,

to the point of madness.

It is with that in mind

that I stand here with Father Joseph Matheson,

who's gonna perform an exorcism, live on television,

in just a few moments.

Now Father, I see you've got your bible with you.

Are you ready to perform the exorcism?

-Y-You know, Frank, I, um...

This may not be the best night for an exorcism.

-There is evil in this house, Father,

and we must get rid of the evil.

Perform the exorcism.

It is time, that's why you're here.

Perform the exorcism.

-All right.

Name of the Father

and the Son

and the Holy-- -[Banging]

-Wait, Father.

Hold on.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Is somebody up there?

Is somebody --

Hello?

Jesus Christ, it's locked.

-What do you mean it's locked?

-Hello? Is somebody in there?

Somebody --

Wait -- Hello, Veronica?

What, what's that?

Did Louis and Claire come back in?

What -- what? I can hardly hear you.

There is such -- What are you talking about?

They're not down here!

Veronica! Veronica!

Veronica.

Get someone up here to open this goddamn door.

Now! Somethin's goin' on!

Veronica!

-Frank, we're sending in another camera right now.

We'll be right back after a quick commercial break.

[Thunder crashing]

-You're watching the WNUF Halloween Special.

-[Screaming]

-Good evening, my minions.

It's me,

Dr. Bloodwrench.

-[Screaming]

-I hope Frank Stewart's Halloween Special

isn't scaring you too badly.

Because, coming up next,

we're watching

"Monsters Invade The Wax Museum."

So chomp down on all of that trick-or-treat candy,

and tune in.

[Laughing]

[Thunder crashing]

-You're watching the WNUF Halloween Special.

-[Screaming]

-Welcome back.

We're about to go back into the house with a third camera.

Our brave intern, Connor, has agreed to go behind the lens

for a video tour into the house.

Connor, how's it going?

-[Sniffling, panting]

-No!

-Connor?

Frank, you need to get out of the house, immediately.

-Be-Believe me, sugar, we'd love to,

but I can't get the goddamn door open!

-[Screaming]

-What the hell is going on up there?

-There's someone upstairs.

We're going to commercial.

-Oh, no-no, the hell we are, folks.

Folks, we are going where no camera crew has gone before.

Father, Father, perform the exorcism.

-We're calling the police, Frank.

Just break down the door and get out of there.

-Perform the exorcism!

-I am not a priest!

-I am a fucking actor! -Shut up!

-You shut the hell up! -I was hired to do this!

-You ungrateful shit!

-Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be right back.

We're just going to go to a quick commercial.

-Veronica, wait, wait.

The door's open.

[Trickling]

Gah!

-Ladies and Gentlemen, we're going to commercial,

we'll be right back.

[Thunder crashing]

-[Screaming]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Static crackling]

-You like bein' on TV, Mr. Stewart?

Well, this is our show.

But don't worry.

We still brought all your guests. [Laughs]

Are you ready for your close up?

-What the fuck is this all about?

-Blasphemy! -What?

Fuckin' Looney Tunes, lady, all of you.

-Don't get my face!

-What do you want? What do you want?

Can't we work somethin' out, please?

-I told you, Mr. Stewart! -Please!

-You are the Devil's tongue.

And we're going to take care of that now!

-Yeah. [Laughing]

Yeah.

-Hold still!

-Yeah, cut it!

Yeah! [Laughing] -[Groans]

-On behalf of all your friends at WNUF TV 28,

we wish you a very happy Halloween!

[Laughing]

-[Moaning]

[Static crackling]

♪♪

[Fast forwarding]

-The WNUF Evening News.

With your hosts, Gavin Gordon and Deborah Merritt.

♪♪

-Good evening.

It's been a rough week for staff here at WNUF.

Local law enforcement are still looking for

missing news reporter Frank Stewart and his guests,

paranormal experts Claire and Louis Berger,

and actor Brandon Schuler.

The group was last seen

in the live televised broadcast

that WNUF ran on Halloween night.

It all happened at the infamous Webber House

in Riverhill Township.

Now, many viewers and many of the staff here at WNUF itself,

believed the evening to be a hoax.

But after five day without any answers,

nobody's laughing.

-Well, Christmas is right around the corner,

and local food banks are --

[Static crackling]

[VCR clicking]

[Static crackling]

-So was the owner of the tape the actual killer?

I think that's implied, right? -Maybe.

-Because how else do you get the footage

of Frank getting his tongue cut out?

And the tape looks different there.

Like it was made with a different camera.

And then that five days later newscast is kind of tacked on.

Like whoever owned this tape has only kept the parts

that turn him on, or turned her on,

because we know the leader of Harvest is a woman.

Um, I should point out that the governor

and those political attack ads, Governor Barlow,

that's played by our guest Chris LaMartina's father.

-Aw. -And...

Phil of Phil's Carpet Warehouse

fame is played by Shawn Jones, the co-director,

by virtue of making dozens of those commercials.

And Deborah Merritt, the newscaster,

is played by, uh, Leanna Chamish,

solid actress who was in almost all of Don Dohler's films

and seems to be in, every movie made in Baltimore,

she's in it.

And, uh, the whole movie was inspired by WNUV Channel 54

in Baltimore, which was indeed a big deal in the 80s

when it was the first big indie station there.

Today, it's part of the CW.

Okay, Darcy, I know you hate found footage,

so let me have your honest reaction.

-It's really cute. -Cute?

-Yeah, it's cute, and I respect the hell out of them.

I love how they made it.

You can tell it was made by someone

who really understood 80s local TV,

and they're nostalgic about the weird magic of that time,

which is totally what it was.

-Who knew those Demolition Derby commercials

would become an art form, you know?

Tuesday! Tuesday! Tuesday! -Love that.

-I mean, that actually indicates just how much demolition derbies

and local drag strips had declined by the 80s

because they are holding them on Tuesday.

-It's so creative for such a tiny budget,

and it's really, really impressive.

-Agreed, but before we conclude this Halloween special,

Darcy, our final Halloween special,

don't you think we should have a closing Samhain ceremony?

-Okay. What do you have in mind?

-I know we've abandoned most of the rituals tonight, but...

-Samhain! -Closing ceremony.

We need to do that.

-Okay. -I can do an incantation.

-Okay. -Like a Halloween prayer.

And, uh, as we put out the fire.

Actually, they don't put out the fire at Samhain.

They distribute the fire.

Everybody takes home some burning embers

from the Samhain bonfire.

It's sort of like when they opened Hill Country,

that Texas barbecue restaurant in Manhattan.

They brought coals and embers from the pit

at Smitty's Barbecue in Lockhart, Texas,

because that pit has been burning since the 19th century.

And so it carries with it the accumulated flavor

of multiple generations of Texas barbecue.

-I don't feel like that's the same thing, actually.

-Sure it's the same thing.

Fire, cattle, hauling dangerous stuff in a truck.

Of course it's the same thing.

The spirit of Texas

and the spirit of Samhain are very similar.

-Okay, but let's do the mailbag first.

-Okay. Sure. Oh.

-This letter came in from Shannon James of

Collierville, Tennessee, and we have several on the same topic.

-Okay.

Thank you, Joe Bob and Darcy.

My husband and I love watching "The Last Drive In."

While some of the movies you show we've watched before,

it is always better with your trivia, commentaries, and wit.

Thanks for -- my wit, Darcy. -Our wit, Joe Bob.

-It's always been -- Well, okay.

Some people call it obnoxious interruption of the movie,

but they call it wit.

All right? -Just just keep reading.

-Thanks for expanding our depth of understanding

on the films we see.

On a sad note, though, after this weekend,

this is from May 2025.

Um, after this weekend,

you can add the Summer Drive In in Memphis

to the closing credits on one of your shows.

-Yeah. -Malco sold the property.

Malco is a big theater chain in the South.

Malco sold the property in Sunday,

May 18th, will be the last night of shows.

Thus the last of the Memphis drive-ins closes.

Local channel 3 report,

complete with the VW beetle spinning on top of the drive in

sign that adorned the entrance of the summer drive in

for, what, 60 years?

-Wow. -You know.

Shannon James, Collierville, Tennessee.

Thank you so much, Shannon.

We loved the Summer Drive In,

and we had our second annual Drive In Jamboree there.

And one of my memories of that show was, um,

actually one of my memories was

picking you up at the airport, Darcy.

-Aw, come on.

-And as soon as the Mississippi Delta heat hit your face,

you decided to go home.

You said, "I'm not staying here."

-But I stayed. -And we're glad you did,

because that's the theater where we showed "Halloween III",

uh, complete with director and cast,

including Tom Atkins on stage for the screening.

-Yes, and it was a theater where you

were defeated in a landslide vote

and had to put on the killer Halloween III mask.

-Yes. -Yes.

-I admit, after the "Halloween III" debate,

Tommy Lee Wallace scrubbed the floor with my battered body

because the mutants betrayed me.

They voted yes on "Halloween III."

-And you got what you deserved.

-Well, it's highly appropriate

that we record the death of a drive in on this night.

The death of "The Last Drive" Halloween special tradition.

Um, do we know what movies they showed on the last night

at the Summer Drive In?

-Yeah.

Uh, "Sinners", "Thunderbolts", and "The Accountant 2."

-That is pitiful!

They just showed whatever was playing?

-"Sinners." "Sinners" is good.

-Wouldn't you want to go back into the archives of

Summer Drive In and and pull out all the great memories,

pull out some classic films?

-Apparently they were not sentimental about it.

And whoever buys it

is not allowed to open another drive in.

-What?! -I know.

It's part of the sale provision.

-Infidels! I'm not happy about that.

You can't build a drive in there.

-No. -Oh, God.

Now I have to do my Samhain farewell incantation.

-Go for it.

-That put me in the mood for it.

-Let's do it.

-And, Shane and Austin, as I speak,

you can distribute the embers.

Distribute the embers.

-Yeah. -I mean, we really don't.

We don't really have embers.

-Well, do what you can. Okay?

It's 508 B.C. so...

-BCE! -Let's all concentrate.

BCE, before Christ era. -There you go.

-Um...

The gathering is over. The mutants are dispersed.

Now the land contracts.

Ash scatters in the wind.

Hoof prints mark the churned earth.

-Hoof prints?

-Yes.

They mark the churned earth from the cattle.

The distant bells of the cattle clang

as the herds return to home pastures.

The meat from the Samhain slaughter...

-Gross. -...is salted

and the bones cracked for marrow.

And hides are scraped and stretched.

And fat is rendered.

-So much about cattle here.

-It was all about cattle. -Good Lord.

-Darcy, it's about cattle. -I don't like cattle.

-Barbecue was the standard meal. Get used to it.

-So nasty.

-Wood smoke hangs low in the damp air.

Mist gathers in the low valleys.

The fire falls. The feast is done.

What was given stands given.

What was sworn stands sworn.

Night keeps what it keeps each to his hearth.

Carry the ember. Keep the bond.

Winter comes, we remain.

The drive in will never die.

-Wow, that was kind of nice.

-An Eskimo brings his disabled snowmobile

to a mechanic for service.

And the mechanic says, "Looks like you blew a seal."

And the Eskimo says, "Oh, no,

that's just frost on my mustache."

[Laughter]

-You couldn't just leave it at nice, right?

-It's not kind of nice anymore?

-It's -- it's whatever, man.

-♪ We are drive-in mutants ♪

-♪ Drive-in mutants ♪

-♪ We are not like other people ♪

♪ We are sick -♪ Sick ♪

-♪ We are disgusting -♪ Disgusting ♪

-♪ We believe in, we believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ If life had a vomit meter ♪

♪ We'd be off the scale -♪ Off the scale ♪

-♪ As long as one drive-in remains on the planet Earth ♪

♪ We will party like jungle animals ♪

♪ We will boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ Boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ The drive-in will never die ♪

♪ We will boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ Boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ The drive-in will never die ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪