Original subtitles

Are you having lunch?

Yes, but I'm late. I said I'd be back at two.

Brian, you don't like this job any more than I do, do you?

Of course not.

The same all grind week after week.

And so much stress.

Yes, the stress!

- D'you want a valium? - No way!

Steak and chips.

I thought you were supposed to eat fish on a Friday.

No, you're way out of date!

Vatican II said we don't have to do that any more.

Who's Vatican II? The deputy Pope?

Ignoramus. You can't have a deputy Pope.

The Pope is infallible. You can't be deputy-infallible!

- We gotta go. - Let them wait.

Oi! A cup of tea over here, please!

No pension plan, no insurance.

No job security.

Why don't we just pack it in?

- I really hate this bank job. - Me too.

I don't know how to do anything else.

Time for work, boys. Back at two, remember?

Stop!

Hit the deck or you're dead!

You shot Louis, you asshole!

Oh shit!

Give me the money or you're a dead man!

Here, take it, you have it. I don't care, it's not mine.

- Shut up! Shut up! - Kill the hysteric!

I know how you feel. Have a valium.

Kill her!

What with?

With your gun!

I haven't got a gun, you homicidal pillock!

We've got it!

It's just not like it used to be, Charlie.

I mean, we're working for a new breed.

All those guns and violence...

And look at poor old Louie.

That was an accident.

You gonna eat those French fries?

It's got like America now.

Ever since Case took over the firm.

And none of us ever used to carry guns.

In the old days when we nicked someone

no one got hurt, and no one lost anything very much.

Insurance companies did.

Yeah, well, they're bigger thieves than what we are.

I thought I was too clever to get involved with all this heavy stuff.

What do you think?

We've got no choice.

Do you want to tell Case we no longer want to be a part of his firm?

- No. - No, me neither.

Look, all I know is they wanted a fast driver.

And that's all I ever wanted to be.

How about a Mercedes?

H, a bit bourgeois, don't you think?

I fancy something a bit sporty.

- That one.

- No. I don't like Italian cars. They rust.

BMW.

Trifle yuppy.

Nice colour though, red. Goes with your eyes.

Very funny.

Oi, oh, officer. I'm sorry.

What are you doing?

We couldn't get in.

It's an all-ticket match.

- Is it? Ah, we didn't know that, did we mate? - No.

This will come in handy. Got his wallet.

Charlie, you do not pick the pocket of the police force!

Come on. Let's get another car. Quick!

Hey, what are you doing?

Stop! What the hell...

Charlie, slow down! Think!

- What's the big hurry? - Police. Move it!

Case wants to know when he can have the Toyota.

- A couple of days. - I'll tell him.

Oh, wait.

What's the matter, Norm?

I want to leave Mr Case's employment.

We didn't hear that.

I talked to Mr Case about that.

He said no problem, Norm. He was as sweet as pie.

You're in deep shit Norm.

He won't let you go. You know too much.

Why? Don't you think I can trust him?

There's only one thing.

I told him you guys wanted out as well.

You did what?

Ah, Mr Case wants a word with you two boys.

Hello, Case.

Hello boys.

Morley said you wanted to see us.

And Morley's right.

Got something for ya. It's in the car outside.

Oh my God.

Norm...

He died suddenly.

He never even got the last rites for his last wrongs, Charlie.

What did he die of?

He wanted to work for somebody else.

Aa, natural causes.

I want you to take him for some special weight training.

First Louie, now Norm.

I mean we were only talking to him a few hours ago.

I'm very upset, Charlie.

I don't mind admitting it.

We didn't do it. It's not our fault.

If we hadn't done this, he'd have had us killed too.

Do you think he won't? I'm very depressed.

I think I'll go and lose some money.

Place your bets.

Number ten - black.

Have you seen my glasses anywhere?

You've got a customer.

Where?

Over there.

Oh, thanks.

Can I get you a drink, sir?

Eh, coffee, please.

Ah, I'm sorry!

Sorry, I'm not wearing my glasses.

I lost them last night.

You can't find them?

Can't find them without them.

What's your name?

Faith.

You're not very good at this job, are you?

I'm so sorry, Mr Hope. It won't happen again.

You - that's it!

No, wait. It was my fault.

Thanks.

I need this job.

Do you want me to get you another coffee?

No, let's not risk it.

Okay.

I'm going off duty now. I've been on all night.

D'you want to come and have some breakfast with me?

No, it's nearly time for my day job.

You see, I can't get a grant.

I'm trying to save up enough to go to college.

Can I have your phone number?

No. Don't know who you are.

Okay. Here's mine.

If you ever want anything, anything at all, just ask for Brian.

These yours?

Oh, thanks.

That's what you look like!

You see that drinking club?

It's a front for laundering money from crack.

I thought we didn't touch drugs.

We don't. It belongs to the Triads. They're moving in from Hong Kong.

But we're gonna take their ill gotten gains away from them.

From the Triads?

It's all used notes. There's no risk.

No risk? The Triads?

You want to work for somebody else?

- No. - No.

Find out where they take the cash. Watch out for a red Mercedes.

Look.

Watch out.

Why you follow us?

Hm?

Why you follow us?

I don't know what you're talking about.

You policemen?

Do we look like policemen?

No.

Good.

So, if you follow us again, I chop your arms off, okay?

Great.

Now, if Case doesn't kill us, the Triads will.

You know what we ought to do? Steal the money for ourselves.

Oh, brilliant!

Then we'll have Case trying to gun us down and the Triads trying to chop us up!

No. We grab the money for ourselves,

we drive to the airport, and olé - we're in Rio.

So, what do you want to study?

Psychology.

- Psychology? - Yeah.

I've got a job at King's College now. Dreaming.

Dreaming?

It's a job?

Yeah, they pay me. Ten quid an hour.

Practical experience in a real psychology department.

I've got to go straight there after breakfast.

But what do you do? Just go to sleep?

It's not just sleeping.

When I wake up I tell them what I dreamt.

They're very interested.

I s'pose I must have some interesting dreams.

I suppose you must have.

This job's great!

Thanks.

That casino was run by gangsters, you know.

No!

Yeah!

What kind of business are you in, Brian?

Oh, I'm an entrepreneur,

you know, fingers in pies, banks, shopping centres, cars...

That's brilliant.

Charlie.

-You know Faith? - Yeah, we've met.

- Oh, hello. - Hello.

Are we keeping you up?

Faith's very tired.

She's got this interesting sideline.

She sleeps for ten quid an hour.

Ten quid an hour?! A good-looking girl like you?

I could get you fifty.

Sauce!

So, she must be pretty...

A bit, eh...

...in the old, eh...

...rather...

What?

She must be a terrific lay.

It's not like that.

We talk, we hold hands, we kiss - it's nothing.

You're in love with her.

Love! I like her, that's all. What's wrong with that?

Don't be daft!

They say the women in Rio are the most beautiful in the world.

So, we're definitely on then?

Yeah. Aren't we?

Oh yeah.

I'll be sorry to leave Faith.

You can't tell her where we're going.

Now's the time to make a nice clean break of it

Come on.

They'll be armed, so we shoot to kill, right?

Yeah, shoot to kill.

Shut that door!

What about Brian and Charlie?

Don't trust them no more.

Think I'm going to make tomorrow their last day on this planet.

Okay.

Here's the shooters.

One for you.

One for you.

One each for Brian and Charlie.

Guns for them?

First, we use them, then we get rid of them.

Like Kleenex.

Anything else?

- No. Be at Willis Street, 10:00 am. - Leave it to us, Case.

Brian, they're gonna kill you!

Go away!

I won't let it happen. Come with me.

- Go home! - Come with me!

Let go of me!

I'm trying to commit a major crime.

She's part of the plan?

Get off me!

Get in the cab!

Get off me!

Come on...

You silly cow!

Look at that guy. Henpecked!

Don't move or you're dead!

Let's see 'em!

- Hang on, don't set it. - Too late. I have set it.

We've got 50 seconds.

Hold it. Don't shoot!

Why not?

Because it's wrong.

That's very funny, Brian.

Don't move!

If you shoot them, I'll shoot you.

What did you put in my car?

A bomb!

Are you off your trolley?

Right! Over there with them!

Put your guns down.

You too!

Right.

Throw them bags over here.

Wait a minute, what...

You'll regret this!

Right. We've got... six seconds!

Brilliant!

- What's the matter? - It won't start.

- Why not? - I don't know.

I don't know what's happened.

Look! We're out of petrol, you stupid dick!

Quick! Make a run for it!

Where's Faith?

She's gone. She went in a taxi.

That door.

- What about it? - It's open!

Do you speak English?

What is this place?

Was that a nun?

What're we gonna do?

We'll never get to the airport. The place'll be crawling with cops.

Have you got the airline tickets?

- No. Oh, shit. I left them in the car.

Christ! Then we've got no alternative.

No! What do nuns do anyway?

Nothing. They sit about, they read, they pray...

It's a godsend. No one would even think of looking for us in a nunnery.

We'll need makeup.

Eh... Miss, how do you put this on?

With a wet sponge, sister.

How do I look?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Excuse me.

Do nuns usually wear makeup?

It's our day off.

If we're good nuns, God will see us through.

We're not nuns, Charlie!

From now on we are. Say nothing.

Yes?

Hello. We're from Chipping Sodbury. We believe you're expecting us.

No.

No?

No!

Can we come in?

Well..., I suppose so.

See? It's a pushover.

Come in.

I'm the superior.

Sister Liz is my name.

Good morning Reverend Mother.

We don't use titles like Reverend Mother any more.

Just call me 'sister'. And, what is your name?

Sister Inviolata of the Immaculate Conception.

And yours?

Sister Euphemia of the Five Wounds.

Five Wounds?!

Five Wounds, for short.

Do sit down.

I gather you thought we were expecting you.

Yes! Yes. Eh... Did the documentation not arrive?

What documentation?

From my Mother Superior. The letters she sent to introduce us.

I don't recall such a letter.

Still, you're very welcome.

As you know, we run a teacher training college

in this convent for eighteen to twenty-two year-old girls...

You do?

You have experience?

Of eighteen-year-old girls? Yes, plenty.

Well, welcome to our convent.

I will just find someone to show you 'round.

Thank you.

Where did you get those names?

From auntie Mary. They're kosher. She's a nun.

You'll never get away with this.

Brian! This is our only chance to go straight.

You call this - going straight?

Mr Norris, could you spare sister Mary for a few moments?

But we're auditing the accounts for the drug rehabilitation clinic.

You go ahead.

- Listen, you can't leave. - Why not?

- Lots of reasons. - Name three.

Case, the Triads, the Police.

This is sister Mary of the Annunciation. She will take you to your cells.

Cells?

This is the residential area,

and the college is through here.

This is your room. Yours, sister Inviolata, is next door.

The bathroom is at the end of the corridor.

We all share bathrooms and showers, of course.

- Not literally? - What's the matter with that?

Ehm... our order's very modest.

We don't tolerate nudity in any shape or form.

Especially our shape.

Yes. We believe it's a sin to show our private parts of the body in public.

Not to us, surely.

We are all just the same underneath when you get right down to it.

Well..., Well, yes...

We couldn't possibly break our rules, could we? No.

And I'm sure you understand that, sister Mary of the Annunciation.

And we'd like you to explain it to the sister superior.

Why me?

Why did you ask her to explain it?

It's her job, isn't it? Annunciation.

Isn't it a classy word for announcement?

Yes - if you are the Angel of the Lord and you're declaring to the Virgin Mary

she's about to conceive by the Holy Ghost and have an immaculate conception.

But not, Brian, not because you want a private shower,

because you're pretending to be a nun

and you're frightened the other nuns might see your dick!

Now, keep your mouth shut until you can say something suitable.

How do I know what's suitable?

I've never been a f...g nun before!

I just hate to hear you blaspheme.

Wait a minute, Charlie.

Just because you're dressed like a nun, it doesn't mean you are one!

- And you can't describe any of them? - No.

- I broke my glasses. See? - I see. Thank you, miss.

What happened to your arm?

- I think I was shot. - Oh yes. Y'should get that attended to.

I can't hear you, you're breaking up!

- Well, shall I help you unpack... - No! I'll manage, thank you.

Why do you still wear those old fashion habits?

Most of us have given them up.

Well, erm... We'd rather not, actually.

They're for a... for travelling.

You couldn't lend us something more like what you're wearing, could you?

It's so much more faminine.

We've got loads of stuff for you in the basement.

I'll lend you one of mine.

Why?

Because we need to look just like them if we want to pass unnoticed.

Then what happened?

We don't know.

Where did they go?

We don't know.

Where did the girl go?

We don't know.

Why did they abandon the car?

We don't know.

Listen carefully.

I want that money. I want that girl alive.

To find out what she knows.

And I want Brian and Charlie...

dead!

Is that quite clear?

Oi!

Oi! You!

Are you a nun?

Oh, very funny. What do you want?

And this is our chapel.

Hello, sisters.

I'm father Seamus.

Well, Mary. Aren't you going to introduce us?

This is sister Euphemia and this is sister Inviolata.

They're staying here.

Very nice.

How long are you staying?

I'm very pleased to meet you, sister Euphemia.

If there's anything at all I can do for you,

don't hesitate to call on me, day or night.

What did he mean?

Father Seamus can't keep his hands to himself.

Father, father, be off with you.

That's disgusting!

You should be flattered. He didn't give me a second glance.

So, I hear you are from Chipping Sodbury.

Yes.

I've been meaning to phone old Pearson.

Who?

Father Pearson. Your priest. We were students together.

What's the matter?

Don't mention Pearson in front of Euphemia.

They had a little... romance.

A naughty one.

With Pearson?

Don't try to ring him.

He took a vow of silence and left Chipping Sodbury for unknown destination.

Sister Euphemia, I understand.

But if you need any consolation...

We don't need your sort of consolation, Father Seamus.

We've heard all about you from father Pearson.

I don't know what you mean.

I don't like the way you're looking at me.

I'm not looking at you anyway.

I admit I enjoy women's company.

There's nothing wrong with that I hope, sister?

We're not women.

We're nuns!

We don't even think of ourselves as women at all.

Well, that's a pity...

if I may say so.

Apparently there's been a bomb and some shooting in the street.

I don't suppose you've seen anything unusual?

Strange men, you mean?

Have you?

Well, erm...

All men are a little strange to us, officer.

Excuse me.

What exactly are you looking for?

We don't know.

Was umm...

Was anything stolen?

We don't know.

Well, we're all rather busy today.

Why don't I just talk to all the other sisters?

And if you can tell us who or what you/re looking for,

we'll tell you if we've seen it.

Thank you.

Oh, Mary, I'm afraid you and I must have a little talk, right way.

Excuse us.

So far, so good.

Why did you choose Chipping Sodbury? There is a convent there!

I didn't know that.

Sister Liz, I've got to give the girls their Religious Studies class in fifteen minutes.

Sit down, please. I'm supposed to be teaching as well,

but I'm sorry to say this is a little more important.

I'll find someone else to take the classes.

Oh, Euphemia. I have to talk to sister Mary here.

Would you take her Religious Studies class for 3rd-year girls?

- Me? - Yes, in quarter of an hour?

I don't think I know how.

Now, now, no false modesty please.

The sin of pride, remember?

It's not false modesty.

You don't have to stick to the curriculum,

it's more like a religious discussion group.

I'm sure they'd be interested to hear your point of view.

I'm sure they would.

Well... What about her?

She's just hanging about.

I'm retired. I'm not going back to work now, thank you very much.

Euphemia, just talk to the girls and answer their questions about the Trinity.

The Trinity?

I think sister Inviolata would be much better at it than me.

No, er... No. We're just going out.

Where to?

Oh, we just love exercise.

They're a strange pair!

Yes. And now we've got another blooming visitor.

They won't search a couple of nuns?

What? With suitcases? After a bomb?

So, are you going to tell the police?

I don't know. I must think about it.

But you must meditate upon your weakness and pray for strength.

You'd better take a week off.

We came back.

We thought God wanted us to help.

Yes. Who knows?

Since you are so fond of exercise, sister Inviolata,

you can take my freshman girls Physical Education class.

You look as if you could do with the workout.

This young lady says she wants to be a teacher.

I can't think why.

Let's go.

And do put your suitcases in your cells for goodness sake!

What's she doing here?

Looking for you?

I wanna talk to her.

You've gone out your mind!

We're not interviewing applicants at the moment.

No, but can I just talk to you?

I am a mature student, and a Catholic.

Okay.

- Let me out! - No!

- I want to talk to Faith. - You can't.

She can't know we're here. She can't know we're nuns!

Why not?

What if Abbot and Morley find her?

What if Case tortures her? She'll tell!

I'll take that chance.

No!

And think of her - if she knows nothing, she's safe.

You've got class in fifteen minutes.

Okay.

Explain the Trinity.

Hm... Well, it's a bit of a bugger.

Well, it can't be that difficult. You've been a Catholic all your life.

Yeah.

Well, here's the pitch.

You've got the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.

The three are one - like a shamrock, my old priest used to say.

"Three leaves but one leaf."

Now, the father sent down the son, who was love,

and then when he went away, he sent down the holy spirit,

who came down in the form of a...

You told me already - a ghost.

No, a dove.

- The dove was a ghost? - No, the ghost was a dove.

Let me try and summarize this: God is his son. And his son is God.

But his son moonlights as a holy ghost, a holy spirit, and a dove.

And they all send each other,

even though they're all one and the same thing.

You've got it!

What?

You really could be a nun!

Thanks.

Wait a minute.

What I said, does that make any sense to you?

Well, no.

No. And it makes no sense to anybody.

That's why you have to believe it.

That's why you have to have faith.

I mean, if it made sense, it wouldn't have to be a religion, would it?

I'd be happy to consider you if you pass your exams.

Thank you.

Can I just have a quick look 'round before I go?

Not at the moment I'm afraid.

Well, I wish you luck, Faith. Work hard.

No, no, look.

I've told you.

Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch.

Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch.

That's easy.

I'm enjoying this. Nice.

Nice?!

Look, Charlie. Some con men sell life insurance.

The church sells afterlife insurance. It's brilliant!

Everyone thinks you might need it, and no one can prove you don't.

The church isn't selling anything, Brian.

Oh! Well, if the church isn't selling anything,

how did it get to be so rich?

Just remember, wherever there's a deep human need,

there's money to be made.

You think so?

Of course, look at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Is that what you are saying God wanted the Church to be? Rich?

No. God is very busy. He can't control all the details.

He's running a franchise operation.

Those nuns aren't rich.

Come on. Let's go.

Good people, Brian. Anyone can see that.

Just like you and me. They're the monks.

How come they're happier than us, then?

They're only happier than us because when they joined up

they checked their brains in at the door!

What happened to your arm?

I'm not sure. I fell.

It looks like a bullet wound to me.

How would you know?

I've seen bullet wounds. I've been a missionary.

Where?

East L. A.

Come on, girls.

Let's play ball.

...And I don't think we need to discuss the Trinity any more.

But what I don't understand

is how can He be both a spirit and a man?

But He was also a dove, don't forget that.

- Isn't that a metaphor? - No, it's a bird.

What's the big deal about Him suffering on earth

if He knew He was going to rejoin His Father in Heaven?

Look, Tracey. Do you think it is easy to be God's son?

Let me tell you, young lady,

it is never easy to be the son of a successful father.

- But...

- Look! All you need to know about the Trinity is this.

God is like a shamrock!

Small, green and split three ways.

Class dismissed.

Dribble, girls, dribble... Pass the ball.

Thank you.

That's what you do.

Hello, Faith.

Who's that?

It's me, Brian.

Oh, Brian...

- What are you doing here? - Looking for you.

Did you see us come in? Did anyone else?

I don't think so.

I wish you hadn't followed us.

Thanks a lot!

No, it's for your own safety.

Look. You haven't seen me, you didn't see me come in here,

you don't know I'm here, all right?

Okay.

What's the matter with your arm?

Oh, it's nothing. I'm just a bit dizzy. Can you stay with me for a bit?

No, no. I mean if the nuns find me, they'll tell the police.

Oh, I see.

Besides... I don't want us to get too involved.

Let's face it, we're not serious about each other, are we?

Well, no, but...

Look, Faith. We're gangsters.

We're in an ugly business. We're mean ugly people, all right?

You shouldn't hate yourself like this.

You saved those men's lives.

You could change, do something decent.

Go straight.

It's not that easy.

Anyway, what's it matter to you?

It's not like we're married or anything.

Oh, wait a minute. I've never suggested we get married.

Alright, it's just as well, because... I'm not available.

That's why I had to find you, to tell you.

You're telling me you're married?

Yeah! That's it. I'm married.

Sorry, I should have mentioned it.

Too bloody right, why didn't you?

I only just thought of it. I only just thought of telling you it.

An ugly married gangster! I really do pick'em.

What do you mean "ugly"?

You said you were ugly.

Yeah, well, I didn't expect such wholehearted agreement.

I meant not like ugly with your nose all over your face.

Oh, God. Where's my wimple?

Oh, what are you doing here?

Er..., just visiting.

- I'll take this. - Thanks.

She's gone.

They didn't see you?

- They? - Those two nuns.

Err..., no. No, I was..., I was hiding.

Right. I'll be off, then.

Fine.

I'm going over to the church for confession.

Oh. That makes everything okay, does it?

In a way.

Well.

Lucky you.

I never wanna see you again.

Sister Inviolata, you played a great game of basketball. How come?

I wasn't always a nun, my dear.

Are there any other games you're good at?

Yes.

But I can't play them with you.

Aren't you going to take a shower?

No, no. I'm very shy.

Sister Inviolata.

Are you in here?

Yes!

Oh, listen. I...

Oh...

What's wrong, sister?

Nothing. I just... came over a bit... funny.

It's so...

steamy in here.

Yes, it's certainly is...

steamy.

What're you doing in here?

I can't help myself.

Stop it! Look at me!

You shouldn't be in here. It's not right.

I know.

I don't understand. Why shouldn't you be here?

Erm... we don't belong.

You certainly do.

Listen, today is my birthday and the girls'r give me a party.

Would you both like to come?

We'd love to. Where is it?

In our bedrooms.

Yes. We'll be there.

Why have you carried those bags with you all the time?

Because, they're very precious to us.

In this order we're not allowed personal possessions.

Nor are we. But what's in here does not belong to us. Truthfully.

No, but we're obliged to take care of it.

Whatever it is, it'll be quite safe over there, with sister Mary.

She's quite right. I'll look after them for you.

Now, put them down!

Now go and have lunch.

Oh, I...

spoke to Faith. She's in the sickroom.

So now she knows you're here.

No, no. She thinks I've gone now.

I told her I was married.

You were married.

She thinks I still am.

She never wants to see me again.

Huh, just as well.

Oh, you're kidding. You are in love with her.

I am, aren't I?

But she doesn't love me.

Charlie,

she said she was gonna confess.

Who?

Faith.

To the cops?

To the priest.

She'll talk about the Triad robbery, she'll name Case, then us.

Don't panic.

Priests never tell anyone what they hear in the confessional.

Won't he tell her to go to the police?

As soon as he leaves, you go in.

- Me? - Well, someone's got to do it.

Don't worry. She'll do all the talking.

- Hello, sister. - Hello, ...Seamus.

Is there somewhere nice and quiet we could have a little talk?

Oh, certainly, sister.

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's three years since my last confession.

O dear, o dear, o dear!

I, umm... I haven't been living a very good life.

And I think God's punishing me for it.

I've become involved with a gangster called Brian.

Could you tell me about it?

I... I have lustful feelings about him.

You do?

Yes.

I think I love him.

You love him?

He's so brave.

He prevented a gang murder today.

Oh love, he sounds great.

He says he doesn't love me.

Perhaps he's just saying that for some reason.

He's a married man.

But when we kissed I felt...

I felt all warm and funny inside.

I can't describe it.

But my problem is,

there's a terrible crime committed today and I haven't told the police.

If you love him, keep your trap shut.

I wondered if you'd like to talk about your...

desires.

Very funny.

Father Pearson told me you could hardly keep your hands to yourself.

I'm a man. That's why I flirt a little.

Hm, well, I'm not that sort of nun.

Tell me -

- is celibacy just as difficult for a woman as it is for a man?

I wouldn't know.

I must come clean, though. I...

...I had a man in my bed last night.

All night.

You see, the way I see it...

Sex is allowed.

No, no. It's the doctrine of original sin.

You see, we're all born sinful, except for Jesus,

who was perfect, of course.

And He was sent to save us.

But how could He save us unless we're sinning?

So we have to go on sinning in order to be saved and go to heaven.

That's how Christianity works.

That's why it suits so many people.

And I lied to the police about him.

Purely from the best motives.

So is it true that if you commit a sin out of fear

it's not necessarily a sin after all?

Sounds right to me.

Okay. Thanks for dropping by.

Aren't you gonna give me absolution for my sins?

Oh, absolutely!

You're absolutely absoluted.

That's it. You're done now. You can go.

Aren't you gonna tell me my sins are forgiven?

Erm... I was just coming to that.

I resolve you... Absolve you!

In the name of the Holy Father, and of the Son,

and of the holy shamrock. ...Spirit!

Sorry.

Go in peace. Your sins are forgiven you.

Thank you, Father.

You're welcome.

She loves me.

And I've got to go to Brazil, forever!

Never mind that.

What do you mean 'never mind that'?

It's a catastrophe!

Maybe I can stay here somehow.

Listen! We have to leave!

Either on a plane to Brazil, or feet first!

She went over to the church.

She didn't come back?

She said she would.

Can we have our bags, please?

I've put them away in a nice safe place.

Good.

Where?

Oh, I forget.

Oh, over there, in that cupboard.

It... it won't open.

Of course not. It's locked.

Give us the f...

Could we have the key, please?

Certainly.

Now where did I put it?

Can you believe that?

Lucky I kept some aside.

We'll have to do some shopping.

Maybe Faith went home?

Charlie, we've got to warn her before she gets into trouble.

Who are you?

Who are you?

Who's got our money?

I don't know, do I?

You see this knife?

Not very clearly, no.

Oh, yes.

We saw you with the man who took our money.

Yes, but he went off without me, didn't he?

Anyway, he hasn't got it.

He works for Mr Casey.

Mr who?

No, Mr Casey.

Casey's health club. It's in the phone book.

He'll have it.

You should get yourself a white cane.

I can see very well, thank you.

Look, I'm trying to find the number of Faith Thomas,

in King's Cross. It's urgent.

The X-rays show there's nothing wrong.

Your arm's just a flesh wound. You're very lucky.

I suppose so.

Beut as you've banged your head

I have to keep you here overnight for observation.

Sorry, it's the rules.

Hello, dad?

Your spare glasses,

your night dress.

Hello again.

We'd like something to shave with, please.

What's this?

It's Epilady. It's very, very good, actually.

No, we want men's razors.

Just between you and me - we're very hairy.

Got any dental floss?

One pound nineteen, please.

Thank you.

Oh, you've only got the one ticket for Rio for tomorrow?

What about the day after?

Can she wait list us?

No, no. I'll pay for both of them now.

Yes, American Express.

My name is Charles MacManus, MacManus.

Er... the expiry date is...

Do come in. What exactly are you looking for?

A missing person.

A dear friend of mine completely disappeared today.

Name of Charlie. He was last seen in this street.

An adult?

Not mentally.

I'm here to take care of him.

And his friend was with him, name of Brian Hope.

They didn't come here. I'm so sorry to hurry you.

Here's me card. If they do come here,

you will let me know?

Certainly.

I'll leave you these photos of them.

Good bye.

Sister Euphemia. Sister Inviolata. Are you joining us?

Can I see those?

Joining you?

Yes. We're going to the church to celebrate Mass.

Tomorrow's our saint's day. We will be on retreat.

Oh, that's funny, so will we.

Church time.

- Have you found that key yet? - What key?

Charlie!

Sorry. Force of habit.

- Let's kill him now. - No, not yet.

Let's use him. He's looking for the money too.

Sister Euphemia, there's some woman on the phone.

Says she can't get you the other seat to Brazil today.

But she's reserved two for tomorrow.

I'll take it.

Tickets to Brazil?

Yes. You know, where the nuts come from.

I do know where Brazil is.

Yes. We're going to be missionaries.

You?

- We got the call. - What call?

This call.

Sister Liz, could I talk to you?

Mr Norris?

Oh, my God

- I tried to telephone you. - Well, we were in church.

It's about a theft of a large sum of money.

Possibly stolen by a person or persons within this convent.

You'd better come to my office.

Who's that geezer?

He looks like the law.

I've audited the accounts

and a great deal of money is missing from the Catholic Drug Rehabilitation Clinic.

Fifty thousand quid, right?

You know?

That man's the auditor.

Oh, is that all?

I've done a terrible thing.

I've lost fifty thousand pounds on the horses.

Still, some you win and some you lose.

Who knows, next week you might win it all back again.

Sister Mary?

She's the Clinic's administrator. She drinks rather heavily, I'm afraid.

And apparently she's gambled it all away on the horses.

That's criminal.

What's more to the point, that money was next year's budget

for the Drug Rehabilitation Clinic.

So you're going to report sister Mary to the police?

I can't. She's repented.

And anyway I'm partly responsible.

I gave her more freedom than she can handle. I'm troubled.

I really need your help, Mr Norris.

What you need is a miracle.

Operator, are you sure it's the right number?

It's a matter of life and death!

Come!

What're you doing? Put those trousers away.

I'm worried.

I'm gonna find Faith.

- King's Cross, please. - My pleasure, sisters.

Wait here.

Hello. Faith?

"Don't come back here.

Case may send Abbot and Morley to get you.

Love, Brian."

"Don't come back here"-

It's a bit like saying: "Do not read this note".

Well, you write it then.

Well, there's no need. She's got the sense not to come back here

and risk meeting Abbot and Morley.

- Oh shit! It's Abbot and Morley! - Oh shit!

Where can we hide?

Charlie!

Jump!

Quick! Get down there!

Back to the convent!

We've nothing to wear. What about our habits?

What about the money? What about staying alive!

Charlie...

Come on, Charlie.

Here, come on.

Are you okay?

Yes...

Brian... Brian...

Rape! Rape! Men! Burglars!

Help!

That way, that way.

Rape! Rape!

Murder!

No one there...

Are you sure you saw two men?

Do you think I imagined it?

Scotch?

Yes. But...

Good night everyone.

Sister Mary, we have to try and get this problem under control.

Now, go to bed.

You know? I've been thinking.

We escaped from Abbot and Morley,

and the Triads, and Case.

And where d'we find sanctuary?

Here, in the house of God.

- Sanctuary? Are you kidding me? - No.

Maybe God's telling us something.

We also escaped with a million pounds of someone else's money.

What else is He telling us?

I think God's gonna get us out of this alive.

I hope you won't be relying on Him totally,

because we've still got to break into that bleedin' cupboard!

God helps those who help themselves, Brian.

Let's hope you're right.

I think...

that what God wants us to do now,

is wait until everyone's asleep, break into that cupboard,

take the money and go.

It's only me.

Why are you up at this time of night?

I've come to get you - it's my party.

Party, of course.

It's Sister Euphemia.

Let's party!

Got any booze?

Sure!

You know what? We're a bit anti-nun, but you two, quite different.

No, no. no. We're just the same.

Come and sit down.

Hey, wasn't it gruesome, about that girl who was shot in the street today?

Shot? Who?

Her name's Faith. They brought her in here.

She wasn't shot. She was just dizzy.

She says she was shot. Then kidnapped by Chinese gangsters,

then she escaped. Now she's in hospital.

- 'Course, no-one believes it. - Why not?

She rang the superior and asked to speak to a man called Brian!

In a convent? She's obviously mad!

It's long after visiting hours.

But I'm her spiritual adviser.

And she still has her family with her.

Her father and her brother. They won't go.

I just want to know if she's all right.

All right. As it's you, sister.

Hello.

You must be Faith's father.

That's right, sister.

Could I...umm, have a word with you?

How is she?

- Well, she's got a bullet wound. - A bullet wound?

Apparently she's been involved with some gangster

called Brian.

Oh, oh dear... O deary me.

Erm... Did she tell the police what happened?

No, she's too scared. And if I ever get my hands on this Brian...

Well, violence never solves anything.

You must learn to forgive, as Christ forgave.

- May I have a word with Faith alone? - Sure.

Do you mind if I reveal who I am?

If you do, I'll kill you.

Fair enough.

- Hello, sister. - How are you, my child?

I'm not too bad. Are my glasses there?

Eh... no.

So, you're not seriously hurt?

Who cares?

Well... I care.

The man I'm in love with doesn't.

I wish I was dead.

- We've got to take her with us. - In one word - no way!

Why not?

The Triads have followed her here. They're watching out for us.

Oh my God.

Look, we've only got two airplane tickets for tomorrow.

And I'm not gonna risk another day in London.

So what do we do?

Tomorrow we get up early, we get the money and we go!

Up early?

We always are.

You know I saw two men last night?

Oh, I'm sure it was just a nightmare.

Yes, but was it real?

Your face!

It's all stubby! You've got a beard!

You're a man!

They're two men!

Shut up or you're dead!

Grab that axe!

Don't you think you'd better explain?

Aah... Eh... Erm, well. It's money, obviously.

And, eh... we took it from the Triad gang. They're drug traffickers.

- You're men! - Oh, yeah.

And we desperately want to get out of organized crime.

You stole money because you wanted to get out of crime?

Oh, it was stolen already before we stole it.

A likely story!

Don't you see?

It's just that the good guys have got the money, instead of the bad guys.

It's like Robin Hood, you see? We stole from the rich to give to the poor.

Who're you going to give that money to?

Us, we're poor.

Hands up!

Mary? Put that gun down.

It's okay. It's mine. It's not loaded.

It's yours? Phone the police. The police!

You bet!

Wait!

I'm a Catholic. I want absolution.

Absolution is only possible with repentance.

- I repent. - So do I.

- Fat chance! - Shutup!

Yes! Shut up, Mary.

If you repent, hand that stolen money over to me.

- Why should you get it? - Shut up, Brian.

You see, sister, if you hand us over to the police,

it means certain death for us.

We work for a gang boss who's got associates in every jail in the country.

We wouldn't last more than 24 hours before we had a fatal accident!

Also, I'm in love, and I... I'd like to get married.

And... if they send us to jail forever and what'll happen to my girl?

Besides, I really do repent. Really.

Well, I don't know whether I can believe all this.

Well, that's your problem, sister.

From now on - it's every nun for himself!

Go! Phone!

I've found them!

Yes?

Where?

We're trying to follow them. Charlie's quite a driver.

- You're going the wrong way. - To the airport.

- To the hospital. - We are going to the airport!

Get out of the bloody way!

Hurry up! I'm not sure if I've given them the slip.

- Keep a look out, okay? - Right.

Faith...

Hello, sister.

Here're your glasses.

Ah, thank you.

Brian. Why're you dressed like that?

I'll explain everything.

Excuse me, sir. Have you ever seen a sluice room?

- Now this is what we call a bedpan. - Pepan?

We use it for getting rid of shit!

- Ow! - Ow!

Why did you do that?

You bloody liar!

- I'm not lying. I love you. - I don't care, you're married.

- I'm not married. - You're not married?

No. Oww!

Why did you do that?

I thought you were.

You told me you didn't love me and you do!

Do you know what I've been through?

I risk my life coming here today. I could be at the airport now.

Risk your life?! I was shot because of you!

Shit!

I even went to confess to a priest.

I told him my problem, I told him that I loved you

and he told me to keep my trap shut.

I know. That was me.

- In the confessional? - Yes.

You know the nun you spoke to last night?

That was me too.

- I told you my innermost secret feelings. - I know.

Which ward is Faith Thomas in?

We've reason to believe she's being visited by a couple of so called "nuns".

Ow! Stop slapping me!

Come on! Case is here!

I've got to sort this out.

Not now, Brian. We've got to leave. Check-in's in thirty minutes!

Charlie!

- Come on! - No!

Faith, I can't leave you.

I'm gonna stay here and take what's coming to me.

- You mean jail? - I suppose so.

Will you wait for me?

No.

I'm coming with you!

Get that stretcher!

Hide the bags!

Hang on.

Tell them we went that way.

Case... Case...

Gotcha, ya fuckers!

Stop... or I'll shoot!

I thought so.

Goodbye, boys.

Cardiac arrest!

This your gun, sir?

Doesn't that bag look familiar to you, sister Mary?

Quick!

- There's only one bag! - We lost one!

- Forget. We've got plenty. - We only did it for the money.

No, we didn't.

Oh, Sisters,

there's some policemen out there looking for you.

Oh... good.

Tell them we'll be right back.

Any suggestions?

Wait! Are my seams straight?

Faith!

Where are they taking you?

Here! Faith!

- Oh, look, it's him! - Who?

That's Brian.

- It's Brian, isn't it? - Yes. Brian.

That's Brian?

Freeze!

Oh, Sergeant, we were...

Shut up! And take those dresses off!

Again?

You're kidding!

Undress them Constable! They're armed and dangerous.

You sure about this, Sergeant?

We're not allowed to strip search women.

They're not women.

I said - take 'em off!

Oh, shit...

I'll kill you! I want my money! I want my money!

Oh no! We're blocked in!

They've seen the bag! They've seen the bag!

Look, the best getaway car in town. No-one will stop us in that.

- Thank God. - Yeah.

Yes. But why'd you have to make everything so bloody difficult?

It's enough money for ten drug rehabilitation clinics.

But where...?

It's a miracle, Mr Norris.

Our prayers were answered.

But it's not yours!

It is now.

What has happened is

that the good guys have got it instead of the bad guys.

Like Robin Hood.

We will put the money to God's use.

They took it from kids on drugs, we will use it to get them off drugs.

But don't you feel guilty?

Let us pray.

Oh, God,

thou hast always moved in mysterious ways thy wonders to perform,

but this latest wonder takes some beating even from You.

So what we want to say is thanks a million

for sending us Euphemia and Inviolata.

And keep an eye on them, won't you? They need you. Amen.

Next, please.

Yes, umm... we booked two seats, but we need three.

What flight and what name?

The name is...

Security alert. If anyone asks for tickets in the name of McManus or Hope,

we wanna talk to them.

Would you care for a drink, Madam?

Some champagne, perhaps?

Or some caviar?