Original subtitles

What's up boss, how are you?

I brought you 10 coffees, I bought them for 72.

10 coffees? What is this, a funeral?

No, a funeral.

Boss, are you crazy?

I feel like I'm dead,

I can't even breathe.

Apart from the fact that you're dead, you don't even drink coffee. And then

you start to feel like you're dead. Why? Because in life, sooner or later, we all

have to die.

You, for example, you're young, you keep your health, you get out, and the

machine throws you up. What are you doing?

10 hot and sugared coffees ready for the old man.

Excuse me.

I don't understand anything about this

city. First I shoot my husband and then I go to the funeral.

um um

Oh.

you

Mmm.

Ugh.

Oh my god!

Oh.

Boom.

Oh.

Oh.

They know more than me at all.

I just

What are you doing?

And who says that the three can stay in Naples for three days without fatigue?

Oh, and do one thing, anticipate the departure.

Well, when you talk like that, you spit in the face.

Do you understand that until January 2 there is no place in the plane to make

them leave?

It's New Year's Eve, instead people travel.

How do I do it?

You only think about your problem.

In your opinion, I could never imagine that on December 29 a visit from the

LASL would arrive and close my place.

Think about the girls.

My problem is that you don't really think about it.

I mean, don't think that if I don't do this stupid thing, I'll lose a lot of

money. Vici, but you are you, and I'm the guide.

I've anticipated the money to make them come from Budapest all the way to

Naples. I don't earn a lira.

And moreover, as their agent, I have to put back the money to make them stay in

Naples for three days. Not considering the fact that they'll send me to hell

when I tell them that there's no work.

Giovanni, what are you saying?

You're right, sorry.

Now we have to find another way.

I'm going to look for a place.

You keep the guaglioni, make them eat coccose, and then I'll go to Pia, what

do you say?

Ah, you see, when you calm down, the solutions are always there. These guys

are cubists, with all the places that are in Naples. We are in Capodanno, but

you know when they find work.

But be careful, don't get close to the guaglioni, you know, otherwise it will

be a mess.

Go, go, don't worry, your Vincenzino thinks about it.

You're late today.

Where have you been?

At a funeral.

You've always wanted to play, eh?

No, it's the truth.

What funeral?

Listen to me.

Yes, tell me, dad.

I invited the engineer Esposito to Capodanno.

If you want that job in his office, do it seriously, with good behavior.

Dad, look, I'm not a clown.

You always do the same thing to me.

What the hell is going on here?

I can't get out of this house.

I'm sure my mother caught me.

Rana Maria, did you see that I was caught?

What did you see? I didn't take anything, I swear to you. No, no.

Every time you bring home a newspaper that signs a new cup, it's always the

same story.

I don't want that, no. You took it, you looked at it, it's the same old story. I

didn't take anything, I swear to you. It's always the same story. You took it,

you looked at it, it's the same old story. You took it, you looked at it,

it's the same old story. I didn't take anything, I swear to you.

Oh no, whatever you do to us, we don't give a damn!

Hello Gennaro! Hi, how are you?

Sorry, but it's been three hours since you told me you needed to pee.

Oh, so you ran away.

Is everything alright?

Did you bring your mother-in-law for a walk?

Since I moved to Modena, every time I go back to Naples, it's like going back to

paradise. Tell me, where did you like it?

I showed it to Mergellina and Posilli. Of course you liked it.

You'll understand, he's used to the fog in Modena.

He doesn't really like to see the sun and the sea.

The problem is that three days are not enough.

The problem is that I live in this house.

Why are you in Modena? You have a good job.

And you forgot to speak Neapolitan.

My 27-year-old son is a diplomat and unemployed.

He can go to a bar to earn some money.

Is this a problem or not?

By the way, where is he now?

He's making a cat and a dog with his grandfather.

They're always together, but they're not the same.

Yes, I won't.

But I can repay them. I told you it's not a problem.

When your agent will time for you some job and you will have some money, then

you can pay them.

Okay.

Great.

You gave me a promise.

Okay, let's go.

Peace.

You want to do it to me?

Oh, it's good.

Oh.

Do you understand what kind of problem I'm in?

No hotel wants me to work because they've already organized all the

meetings. And all over Naples there's a hotel that can't host me.

And you can't host me at your house?

Yes, if you bring me home, I'll kill myself.

Hey, Giovanni, what can I do?

I have to trust serious people. And you're the only person I can trust.

Otherwise I risk losing the trust of the Budapest agency.

Giovanni, let me understand.

What do you want? You should host them for two nights. They have the departure

scheduled for January 2.

There's a lot of people who know her. She came to fuck me on New Year's Eve.

But you're the only person I can trust, aren't you? I'm an asshole, basically.

I don't know what to do.

This is my mother-in-law from Modena.

My father-in-law, who invited the engineer to marry me on New Year's Eve.

And this is my grandfather's ex-girlfriend.

So? Add three tables and it's done.

Johnny Torelli is here. Add a table.

Sit down.

But these bastards, how do I know? It's not like they make me look like shit.

Don't worry, Ruben. I have good people. I'll make you a nice figure, don't

worry. I left them to Vincenzo. Now I'm going to take them and take them home.

I'll take them home. I'll take them home. I'll take them home.

I'll take them home. I'll take them home.

I'll take them

home.

You could have taken me to Guaglione's house, without Paolo blaming me. But I

had a heart attack.

And then my grandfather came to my room, to free the room for Guaglione.

Do one thing, take me to Rimano in the afternoon.

All right, all right.

You've been too kind.

We'll go to Rimano. Okay.

Tell me, where's Guaglione?

I went out with Capasanta. Capasanta? And Capasante is a friend, a good

person, he speaks English, he dresses well.

And the other side, the girls were talking in the local stand. I went for a

panoramic tour. And then don't worry, Capasante is the type who organizes

himself. I'll show you that tonight you'll even save the hotel.

Ah, if you're going to lie, you'll be caught.

If you tell Capasante what's going on with this bastard, I'll make you a black

sheep, you know?

Dad, I already told him.

There are only three kids left in high school.

There are only two nights left. The newspapers start at one o'clock.

Grandpa, where are you going to sleep?

I'm going to sleep in my room.

Don't worry.

Don't worry?

What if I end up looking like an ex-husband?

Don't worry, don't worry.

Good night.

looking if Remigio and Serena were sleeping.

It's never possible.

It's also your son's and wife's fault.

But they don't want you to go to school.

You're thirty-seven years old. You have to go to sleep.

Don't worry, I'll tell your father.

Don't worry.

Remigio, you have to go to sleep.

I want to talk to Imre. Yes, it's me.

I called to thank you for the beautiful days I spent in Naples.

It's not my fault.

Giovanni said the police closed the location.

I want to thank you for being with these two whores. Why are you talking

to me like this?

So I had to be with those two whores, and they wanted to stay where they were,

so that they could have fun.

And I had to wait an hour in the car, you know?

Everyone is trash.

Oh yeah.

Okay.

Thank you.

Oh my God.

about Columbia.

Let's see.

God is so fair.

How come? I was sleeping in my room. No, no.

I know that these bastards are really good, but... No, they weren't.

I'll leave you to it. Don't worry.

I thought you were a rich man. I know I'm a rich man. But please,

Rudy, come back at 11 o'clock.

Do you understand? Don't worry.

I'm going to get two bottles.

That way I'll have enough money to buy you a drink.

Rudy, good luck to you and your family.

Good luck to you. Bye.

Do you want?

Yes,

try.

Buonasera, sono l'ingegnere Spostri. Salve. Se non mi sbaglio, voi siete il

fratello di Gennaro, quello che vive a Modena, eh?

Sì. Guardate.

Come fate a saperlo?

Eh, tuo fratello mi parla sempre di te.

E sta in casa?

No, è uscito, è andato a far gli auguri ad un amico. Però mo viene.

E noi qua stiamo, stiamo aspettando.

Che avete preparato di buono stasera per il cenò?

Veramente, mia moglie sta cucinando delle specialità emiliane.

Spero che vi piacciono.

I love all the Italian cuisine, from the north to the south.

But I don't know where Capitone is. He's there.

He's there.

Don't worry.

He's rude.

Where is he? He went out too.

He went to take Bengala. He'll be here soon.

What's going on? I don't know, I don't understand.

I'm going to take a look.

Doctor, I was talking to your son.

I don't know what happened.

um

SNAKE!

Yeah.

Sì, pronto?

Dite, zio.

Passami il tuo padre.

Momento, eh.

Papà, ci state?

Ma pare che ne è tornato ancora. Io ve lo so, è arrivato mo', eh. Quando lo

vedi, digli che sono all'hotel Paradiso con Serena.

Passiamo domani mattina a riprenderci le nostre cose.

Ma come?

Che ci faccio di andare all'hotel?

E non è stato con noi po' ognuno? Gli ha già accattato pure i botti.

Serena non vuol più rientrare a casa.

Domani vi spiego tutto.

It's good that there's no sap.

Look at this.

Look at the button.

Look how beautiful it is. It's like I'm a toast.

I'm fat.

I look like...

I don't know how to eat it.

I'll eat it for you. I'll eat it for you.

I'll eat it for

you

tonight.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What's going on? Dad, I'm sorry.

What are you sorry for? Who are these bastards?

Dad, my friend told me to go to school.

To school?

But you're together with your sister, aren't you?

Hey,

I'm going to explain it to you.

What? What do you want me to explain?

Mamma mia, what a log this is.

Here you are.

Here, use this, you idiot.

Dad, do you want a drink?

Go on, dad.

But don't piss me off, you bastard.

We'll see each other later. Okay, dad.

Here comes the good and the bad.

And what a beautiful girl she is.

Mano, look at the beautiful hair he's got.

He looks like a mandolin.

He looks like a Brazilian.

Look at the little hole he's got.

Mano, look at me.

Look at what he's got.

Look at what he's got. Look at what he's

got.

Mano!

I'm having a break.

Shit, I've had enough.

I've had enough of this.

You know, I spit in tomato rung.

Um.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Save me.

Save me.

Where?

Save me. Save me.

See? See?

See? See?

My aunt and my wife helped me.

My husband's engineer disappeared, and I certainly went to the third place.

Padman went to look for the condoms in the bag, and now he's calling his

colonel. My grandfather fell asleep, another bastard.

Christ fell asleep, and I went to eat with my poor fool.

But do you know what I mean?

This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.