Original subtitles

Meenakshi.

Mohini.

Mohini, get to your rehearsals and I'll just...

And you'll sit and drink here, while I'll dance there.

If someone else had said this, I would've killed him.

You cannot kill me.

Because I pay for your liquor, your gambling, everything.

I am profitable for you, father.

And you don't have the courage to shut down this profitable shop.

Hello, listeners.

Welcome to All India Radio.

Action!

Say that you're mine Or else

I want to die

Don't ever say that

Don't ever do that

Do that, do that, do that Do that, do that, do that

Chaalbaaz.

Wonder where she's from?

Wonder where she'll go?

She'll definitely make someone crazy

It's a small encounter

But it's so sad

This girl won't be wooed by anyone

This girl won't be wooed by anyone

My sweetheart!

Oh my!

Oh my!

Mr. India!

Oh my!

I love you

From Doom to Doom.

Sridevi, Madhuri and Juhi.

Sometimes this, sometimes that.

It's a wonderful day Think about it

The madness Take a look

You're alone I am alone

We're having fun!

I swear

I swear

Sunny, Anil... Bobby, Rishi.

Save me! Save me!

Someone save me!

Aamir, Shah Rukh... Sallu, Saifu... No!

No. Stop!

SK, Akki, Duggu, Bhaggu, Dhaggu, Dabbu, Pappu.

Someone save me.

Save me! Save me!

Nana, congratulations.

Meenakshi's name's in the newspaper.

Meenakshi's name's in the newspaper?

-Slowly, Mom. -Show me what's written about Meenakshi.

What's written?

Mom, Dad, grandma.

Meenakshi's name's in the papers.

Tell me what's written about Meenakshi.

Give it here.

Nana, read it. Read it, Nana.

Attention. Attention everyone.

"A Brahmin girl, age..."

Twenty-two?

Bunch of liars!

You will all go to hell.

And rot to death.

You can't get anyone married by lying.

This family will never have an heir.

We'll face droughts, cloudburst...

This house will be washed away.

Mother-in-law, stop dreaming behind those sunglasses.

Nana, read it.

"A Brahmin girl, age 22.

Mild natured?"

Mild natured? Meenakshi?

Mild natured. Maybe they meant nuts.

"Homely.

She has all the qualities of an ideal Indian wife.

A complete Balaji brand Hindi serial daughter-in-law.

An expert cook. Respects her elders.

Loves children.

Very religious and prays every day."

All this is about Meenakshi?

What the...

You call this a matrimonial ad?

Which fool wrote all this?

I did.

I wrote all this.

Modern age, modern ad.

Just watch.

Soon handsome, rich youngsters

will flock to this neighborhood.

Goddess, for the first time

someone's name from this family

has appeared in the newspaper

and has spread far and wide.

Meenakshi!

Meenakshi!

Listen up

I've watched it all in films

The story of life

Bachchan's always in front of trees

And Rekha behind them

I'm no ordinary girl

My imagination runs wild

I charged my boring world

With zest of my dreams

My shot's ready, Lord

Make it okay

Fulfill my dreams

Make me a heroine I'll offer a dollar in return

Make her a heroine She'll offer a dollar in return

Make me a heroine I'll offer a dollar in return

Let's go, dear Sing a song

With the camera in tow

The frame's all set

Show them your true color

I want my colorful posters

To be seen in every neighborhood

Every radio station plays only my songs

Saw her story?

Her movie was pirated

Madhuri came to her premier

I want everyone to be my fan

They'd all want my autographs

Everyone begs To take a picture with me

Make my beautiful sway A hit with everyone

Fulfill my dreams

Make me a heroine I'll offer a dollar in return

Make her a heroine She'll offer a dollar in return

Make me a heroine I'll offer a dollar in return

Let's go, dear, sing a song

With the camera in tow

The frame's all set

Show them your true color

I will horde all the telly ads as well

I'll sell everything From toothpaste to homes

She's become famous

She did the catwalk

And her parking lot Has Sachin's Ferrari

I'll have an affair With a top hero

Yet, I'll claim to be single

All I want is an Oscar Along with a lot of Filmfares

Fulfill my wishes

Make me a heroine I'll offer a dollar in return

Make her a heroine She'll offer a dollar in return

Make me a heroine I'll offer a dollar in return

Come, dear Let's have a drink at a party

And have a cup of Koffee with Karan

With the King of Bollywood in tow

Hey! What happened? Where?

Hey!

Who's that?

Who's that?

Listen.

Take that someplace else.

Clear that garbage dump from here.

We didn't ask for a home delivery.

Dad, Nana.

Don't just sit there.

Run.

And bring him back.

Who is that?

Who is that?

Grandma.

My child.

Have a sweet.

Hello, listeners.

Welcome to All India Radio.

The Naughty Countdown.

Let's first listen to this song from the movie Dev D.

The song's requested by Nana and his four dogs from Pune.

He has dedicated this song to his sister Meenakshi.

Meenakshi, who constantly hops in and out of her dreams.

And we've to check where she is at the moment.

The song's also dedicated to his grandma

whose heart and mind sparkle more brilliantly

than her gold dentures.

Also to his over-enthusiast mother

and over-dedicated father, Ganesh Rao.

So let's all listen to Deshpande family's request

with great spectacle

Emotional Atyaachar.

Mother-in-law.

We've two good news.

First, we've our own dustbin.

Our very own.

Now I'll throw out the garbage from here.

Mother.

-What are you doing? -Like this.

Mother. Something's burning.

Serve me breakfast, I'm getting late.

I've to go for a job interview.

Wonder when I will get a job?

You won't go anywhere, Meenakshi.

The only place you'll go is your husband's home.

Mother. If the way to my husband's home

is through this heap of garbage

then I'll never get married.

No one will come to see me here.

What will you tell them?

"The last house in the colony

right behind the big heap of garbage

And even if you manage to cross that garbage

the smoke will certainly choke you to death."

Why? The girl's father, who smokes

not one, two or three but four cigarettes in a row.

And one of the dogs at the gate will tear your pants.

Thanks to the girl's over-smart, 10th failed useless Nana,

who can't endure the sorrows of dogs.

He searches high and low every night

and brings dogs home, to give them refuge.

Chandi, Sona, Dilbar, Janemann.

There's no place for dogs or dog lovers in this country.

Once I find a clean house,

I'll marry some smuggler or shooter

and run away from this madhouse.

Come on. Let's go.

We will all leave this country.

Oh my!

What a beautiful girl.

She's so smart.

Why will you marry a sharp-shooter?

Oh, oh!

What a face!

Those eyes!

That smile.

The family's a bit eccentric.

But the girl's perfect.

Be back soon.

There are two coming today.

One at 6:00 and the other at 9:00.

Of course. Why not?

It's the Friday, first day, first show.

You must have sold the tickets in black.

-Dad, what are you doing? -Hello.

-Why don't you throw away these phones? -Hello.

-We've our own garbage dump now? -Hello.

They came here for repairing in 1993.

-But no one came back for them. -Hello.

Nana, give me the keys to the scooter.

Nana, I'm getting late. Give me the keys.

Please, Nana. Give it.

First apologize to Dilbar and Janemann.

-Don't act too smart! -I won't give it.

Give me the keys.

-Useless, dog. -I won't.

I won't give you the keys.

Why did you call me a dog? Don't call me a dog.

There's no petrol.

Janemann, did you see?

I know you were smiling.

It was funny.

I've petrol.

We'll fill up the scooter and go out.

Rickshaw!

Want some.

You want some powder.

What?

Do you need a touch-up?

Touch-up?

Hello, sir.

Sir, my certificates.

Meenakshi Deshpande.

What do you think?

Actually, I think of many things.

But right now I think you should give me this job.

-What color saris do you wear? -Yellow.

If you buy a scooter, what will be the color?

Yellow.

Which sweet do you like?

Sweetmeats. The round ones.

The expensive yellow sweetmeats of Pune.

So what... What's your favorite color?

-Red. -Fantastic.

-The job is yours. -Really?

Go. Don't waste my time.

Step out of the office.

You will find stairs. Climb up.

Enter the sixth door.

Someone's waiting for you up there.

Someone's waiting for me, sir?

Who?

Go. Don't waste my time.

Hi, I am Mynah.

And you?

Meenakshi.

What was all that?

I couldn't attend my Bollywood dance class

so I was rehearsing.

So you're the next one.

Next one?

Yes, wonder why these stupid girls leave this job.

This place has such a nice working ambiance, right?

Yes.

What will be my job?

Will you explain me my job?

I know everything about computers.

Word, Excel. Office. Tally, I can operate all that.

Why are the computer models so old?

Oh no! What's that?

That's my water-bag.

His name's Jumbo.

Jumbo, Jumbo, say hello.

Hello, Jumbo.

Now tell me about my job.

Chill.

It's your first day.

The college starts a week later.

There's nothing to do right now.

I've a lot of unreleased films on my pen drive.

My neighbor works for the censor board.

Let us watch all the films.

Look, Mynah, just tell me about my job.

I don't want to see any unreleased films.

And anyway, my life's filled with drama.

I don't want anymore.

Where's the stench coming from?

I don't know.

Oh my!

What are you doing?

I know I can't touch him

but at least I can get a good look at him.

That's John. John's my life.

John's only mine.

His body, his mind are just for me.

Look, Meenakshi.

Look at his body, look at his muscles.

Any...

Any lower and it would've ruined the beauty.

But he's John.

And he knows when and how much to expose.

John! John! John! John! John! John!

-Mynah. -John! John! John! John! John!

Look, Mynah.

This job... is really important for me.

I've come here to work.

I want to earn a living.

And buy myself some freedom with it.

Maybe a rent a small room

where I can read books and hear songs on the radio.

Why? Won't you get married?

I fear that I might get hitched soon.

There was an ad in the newspaper

and the prospective boys are coming from today.

One at 6:00 and the other at 9:00.

Is this the way to get married?

Marriage follows only after love.

First, I want to fall in love.

Wow. You mean love marriage.

Such a cruel world.

They don't let me live in reality

or stay in my dreams.

You know, I always wander into my dreams.

I sing and dance there.

That places makes me really happy.

Dance with whom?

I am all alone in my dreams.

My dream world is completely clean.

It's fragrant, has empty spaces

where the sun's rays fall.

Foreign locations or Indian?

Don't interrupt me, Mynah. Don't interrupt.

Listen.

I didn't demand too much from life.

I still don't.

I want someone all to myself.

And when we fall in love

he'll say "Meenakshi, let's run away and get married".

And then I'd steal all the jewels from my home

and take the late-night passenger train.

Far away, far, far away.

Where the Maharashtrian police never find us.

See. I have a small dream.

But girls like me have to struggle to fulfill their dreams.

First with herself, then with her parents

and then the guardian of this society.

But this evening I'm going to face the reality of life.

Face the reality of life.

I never did it.

-How will you do it? -Like this.

She makes really tasty beaten rice dish.

And you just can't resist the yogurt.

Oh my! Oh, God!

Oh my! Oh, God!

We'll give her 30 grams of gold.

And Meenakshi's grandma's gold dentures

has already been willed in her name.

I have ten daughters.

And Bablu's my only son.

My mother-in-law and her mother-in-law's still alive.

Will you give me a facial after we get married?

Are you vegetarian or non-vegetarian?

Will your daughter manage to stay happy in this small family?

Oh my! Oh, God!

So? Did anyone come by?

No!

Lord, your glory

The beautiful sky The beautiful light

She makes really tasty beaten rice dish.

And you just can't resist the yogurt.

She makes really tasty beaten rice dish.

And you just can't resist the yogurt.

Come on, Pinky. Hurry up.

Stand in a line. Stand in a line.

Come on.

-Did you breakup? -No.

-You didn't break up, did you? -Madam.

The registrar's run out of drinking water.

He's asked for Jumbo.

Jumbo!

Here.

Go, Jumbo. Come back soon. Go on.

Why did he take your water-bag?

The water cooler's right outside his office.

Jumbo's everyone's favorite.

Someday he'll be your favorite, too.

Rascals, get out of here.

Wonder where they all come from to learn Arts.

Get going.

Ma'am, give us our I-card.

-Get lost. -We've been standing for so long.

Runaway, you'll get your I-cards after four o'clock.

What I-card?

Get out. Get lost. Get going.

I-card. I-card.

I'm slightly hungry.

I'm off to the canteen. After that I've to dance as well.

Are you coming?

-Go ahead, I will join you. -Okay.

I am Surya.

Surya Iyer.

My I-card.

My I-card, please.

Oh my.

Thank you.

I am hungry.

If he fails again I'll jump into the well.

First give me something to eat.

Surya Iyer.

There's a sweet story in the air

Trying to convey itself Through the breeze

The state of my heart Like the petals of flowers

The ambiance is fresh like dawn

The glittering stars in the day

All shining brightly upon you

See them if you can

There's a sweet story in the air

Stop going to the office.

You've tanned traveling under the sun.

And you don't have a clue about what you should do.

Make the bread properly. Do it properly.

What is this? Smear some oil. Smear some more oil.

You can't even knead the dough properly

and you're so keen about working on the computer.

And you.

Do you have to smoke while eating?

Yes, yes I do.

Mother.

All those who came to see me, I didn't like any of them.

Please stop putting me on display every day.

Where do you get these nerds from?

Why? Are you expecting someone rich and handsome?

Soon enough.

Destiny will bring the one to me.

These daily tea and snack programs won't help.

That must be the rich and handsome.

Hello.

Remember that boy who came to see you in the evening.

Must be his rejection call.

-I am sure. -Nana.

Yes, yes.

I've always heard father saying "Yes, yes."

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

I never understand what he's saying.

Remember the Kulkarnis who visited us day before yesterday?

It must be them.

Last night I dreamt about Goddess.

And she gave me a yellow colored flower.

Mother. What's the yellow flower got to do with Kulkarni's son?

And anyway, I found him a big bore.

First of all, he's too fair.

And I don't like boys who wear a vest under their shirt.

They look just like dentists.

Do you stand there and observe

whether the boy's wearing a vest inside or not?

Is a man judged by the vest he's wearing?

No, he's judged by another place.

Nana. Shameless.

What happened?

It was Mr. Kulkarni.

Didn't I say it must be them?

What happened?

When are they coming? Or shall we go visit them?

No.

Their demands were too high, Savitri.

This alliance isn't possible.

It's beyond our budget.

Oh, wow! Perfectly round bread.

Here, Nana. Have a ball.

Look from here. See...

There's a sweet story in the air

Trying to...

The state of my heart Like the petals of flowers

The ambiance is fresh like dawn

The glittering...

As soon as the drops of colors fell

On the blank canvas of my dreams, An entertaining celebration began

Yes, it began

And all the lonely paths That were there

Are now swarmed with feelings

Yes, it is

Let's walk this mile

It's the abode of my dreams

Even though I mustered The will to some sleep

It still revolves around you

Weave them into one

There's a sweet story in the air

Trying to convey itself Through the breeze

The sweet

Story

Conveys

Through the breeze

The sweet

Story

Conveys

Through the breeze

Surya.

Surya. Surya, get up and have some tea.

What this? Get lost!

Surya.

Let me sleep. This is my time to sleep. Why did you bring tea at this hour?

Surya, did you eat last night?

I've brought biscuits for you.

Pakda Pandi, are you stupid?

Get me bun omelet.

Are the vegetables fresh?

Oh my!

Hi!

Surya.

Good morning.

Hey!

Mom.

What? What happened?

Mom. Mom, let's go.

-What happened? -Let's go.

Just take me away from here.

-Yes, but-- -Let's go, Mom.

-But-- -Let's go, Mom.

I'm feeling dizzy.

Let's go, Mom.

You work too hard, Meenakshi.

Don't work too hard

and raise the standards of working.

It'll be really difficult for girls like me.

I...

Remember, Mynah, I told you about my dreams.

Yes. You did.

I... The principal has asked for some details.

-About Surya. -Surya?

That drunk from Madras.

What's there to see in his records?

He's a fishy guy.

He drinks all night, Meenakshi.

Have you seen his eyes?

Red.

They say he had a rich father.

He squandered his father's wealth on drinking.

What are you saying, Mynah?

It says here he's received a Fellowship from the Central Government

because he's an outstanding student.

Mynah, don't lie.

I am not crazy to say all this.

Meenakshi, I am not talking shit.

The Fellowships are rigged.

Fellowships won't make a difference.

Like I said, his father died repaying his debts.

-Yet, this boy I tell you-- -Really?

That... student in our college...

You were talking to him yesterday.

Surya.

Yes, what about him?

What were you two talking about?

What do you know about him?

I don't know anything about anyone.

Go away. Don't talk to me.

People waste my time and I've to bear the brunt.

I've heard that if these people don't drink,

their career never takes off.

Everyone has to resort to this kind of nonsense

to sell their painting.

God! Is that really true?

Pakkad Pandi. Get me a cup of tea.

Pakkad Pandi. There are two chocolate bars on the table.

One's for speaking up.

And the others for keeping mum.

What do I say, sister? You won't be able to hear it.

I will hear everything. Tell me.

-Surya does drugs. -What?

You know what drugs are?

How old are you?

What do you know about drugs?

He's always on drugs

to get into his world of imagination.

Oh, God.

But I do that without them.

These artists have a very controversial life.

I've heard such stories. Which one do I tell you?

Surya.

That's why Surya sees all that, you and I cannot see.

I didn't get you.

What can he see?

Surya sees things differently.

That's why he wins a gold medal.

No, no, no.

The drugs are just rumors.

I don't believe it.

I can't believe Surya does drugs.

Let's talk about you.

Jumbo's sitting on your table.

Jumbo? The red water bag. Mynah's?

-What about it? -Don't you know?

Mynah's the real culprit.

She fills it with Vodka every morning.

I wonder how Surya's been winning the gold medal

for the last two years.

He must have a high connection.

Only his paintings are sent to Delhi for the Academic exhibition.

Connections, again.

That's the reason he's still in the college.

Otherwise, there's no reason to keep this animal here.

The way he looks, I don't like him at all.

Pakda Pandi, are you stupid?

Stop doing this every night.

Eat on time, sleep on time.

If you continue like this someday you will die.

Listen, Pakkad Pandi,

I need your help.

Just name it, sister.

I am always ready to help damsels in distress.

My sweet child. Listen.

Wow. Wow.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

One...

Wow.

One, two, three, four...

I like love triangles.

Ask him what's libido in Tamil?

Mynah, stay quiet.

I like dark people not fair ones.

Teach me to say that.

I like dark people not fair ones.

I like people...

No, no. Karappa means cockroach.

Karp means dark.

Madam, you forget so soon.

Okay, fine.

Okay, how do I say this,

"Give me love, and I'll give you rice-cakes and pancakes".

Give me love, and I'll give you rice-cakes and pancakes.

Give me love, and I'll give you rice-cakes and pancakes.

Super-duper correct.

Now, here's a suggestion.

Watch Tamil channels the entire night.

Midnight Masala.

You'll learn Tamil in a jiffy.

Oh my! I can certainly do that.

Here you go.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

Sweetheart!

Sweetheart!

Sweetheart!

As you stretched your body passionately

Made me realize once again

I finally say this today

Books.

Please sign here.

Thanks.

Feel free to come!

I love you

Love you!

"I do not want you to shave.

I do not want you to shave."

I do not want you to shave.

"You look handsome."

You look handsome.

You look handsome.

"Please keep the first button of your shirt open.

Please keep the first button of your shirt open."

Please keep the first button of your shirt open.

Oh my!

Time for audio, visual training.

Midnight Masala.

Oh, God!

Oh, God!

Wake up from a dream In critical condition

Earth quivering below Everything shaking up

Face to face With the man of my dreams

Top to base Filled with passion

Thighs thundering, down under

Size matters, thinking, wondering

Jumping

Pumping

Throbbing

Thumping

One, two, three, four

Heart pounding

Beating like drums

Love lust to double the fun It's so stern

Body heating

Feeling like hot seat

Calling fire-brigade But no difference

Dwell in my heart Same to same

Top to base Filled with passion

Thighs thundering, down under

Size matters, thinking, wondering

Jumping

Pumping

Female

Male

One, two, three, four

Nana.

What is it?

You're still awake.

What to do?

I just can't sleep.

Even if I do, I can't dream.

And if I don't dream, there's no point in sleeping.

True. True.

Want some.

Nana. Tell me.

I was saying...

That thing... that...

I mean, the thing that rich kids take in parties before food.

-Beer. -Oh no, not beer.

That thing people take which is against the law and could getr arested.

Yes... cocaine!

No. Not cocaine.

Drugs. Drugs.

They are all the same.

Drugs are a kind of cocaine.

What about it?

Do drugs make your body smell better?

Don't know. Maybe.

Must be an expensive A+ grade drug.

Yes, it's possible.

So where do you find these drugs?

Why?

Just like that.

I'm reading that Tamil Pulp Fiction.

They're holding a competition.

Find the places in your city where you can get drugs.

Do you know where we can get drugs?

I want to send them an answer.

No. I don't know.

Oh, yes. The river in our city.

The last bridge over it, near the crematorium.

Every night a man stands under it.

From 2:00 to 4:00.

A European man.

He has these goods.

I don't care about humans anymore, Meenakshi.

They're a bunch of liars and thieves.

That's fine.

But what have you decided about your future?

Are you going to study or not?

You'll have to choose a line of work as well.

Now this is my job, Meenakshi. Just watch.

I'm going to build a big home for dogs.

Dog House.

It'll be 12 storeys high and will have every amenity for dogs.

First, I'll be the sole proprietor.

Then, I'll make it Pvt. Ltd.

I will give you shares as well.

Just watch, Meenakshi.

One day we'll have public issue of our company.

Then London, Hong Kong, Paris.

We'll have branches everywhere.

Look. Down there.

Is he the one?

Yes, I think he's the one.

Selling drugs.

Meenakshi, I'm right behind you.

Come on.

Let's go home.

I'm feeling sleepy.

If there's just one lake in the jungle,

then all the animals must come here.

Jungle?

-Animals? -Yes.

Now I'm really interested in these animals.

I see.

-Nana. -What?

How much money do you have?

Around 100, 110. Why?

I have 200.

Here. Go.

Go where?

Go to that man and buy drugs worth 300 bucks.

Ask him, whether he's got the A+, aromatic one?

Go on.

Meenakshi, you've really lost your mind.

Have you lost it?

Let's go. Let's go from here.

It's not for me.

I just want to smell it.

-Go on. -No, I am not going anywhere.

Have you lost your mind?

Let's go. Let's go from here.

Let's go home. Let's go home.

Useless. You will issue public shares of your company.

Coward. Give me all your money.

Give it, give it, give it, give it.

Take it, take it, take it.

I don't want this towel, give me the money.

Yes, yes. Take it, take it.

What's this? Loose change.

Meenakshi.

Meenakshi.

Hey, mister. How much for 300?

What? What do you want?

Oh my! You speak Marathi Hindi. Good.

Give me the goods worth 300.

Get lost. Are you crazy?

Run away.

Give me. Give me in 300.

You want this.

What are you doing?

Is this the way to talk?

I only asked for drugs.

I am not asking for liquor.

-All the people-- -Run away from here.

Run!

Run, Meenakshi!

He's got a gun. Run!

Meenakshi. He's got a gun.

My money!

-My money! -Forget it. Let's go.

He's got a gun. Rotten idea!

Oh my...

Meenakshi Ankalserya Mudduswami Puttuparti Iyer.

Meenakshi Surya Iyer.

Meenakshi S.

Meenakshi Deshpande Iyer.

Dilbar. Tired of this show business every evening.

But what to do? You are lucky.

You want to get married,

you go out on the road and bark, bark.

We human being, no such chance.

Look at me. Sari and all.

You are here.

I have to go.

But the dogs...

They're harmless. They just bark. Don't worry.

Come in. Come in.

Here.

Meenakshi.

This is Meenakshi.

And Meenakshi, this is Manav Rajadhyaksh.

And they are his parents.

Why... Why are you standing?

Please, sit down.

Look, there's no need to be so formal.

Which college did you pass out of?

Ferguson college. I've done my BA.

And she's also done that computer course.

She was a topper of her class.

Please have some.

-She's prepared it. -No thanks.

By the way, what are your hobbies?

I like to read. I like books.

Novels, short stories...

I'm not too keen about cooking. But I cook daily meal good enough.

What are your hobbies?

Half shirt with no vest inside. Half shirt with no vest inside.

My mother.

She's blind.

Yet she has a good observation.

Interesting.

So what's your favorite novel?

Alice in Wonderland.

Alice in Wonderland.

That's my favorite. Have you read it?

I've read it around 100 times.

Sometimes I feel it's my own story.

Of course I've read it. But just once.

By the way, I'm not a keen reader.

I watch sports. Mostly football.

In school, Madhav was the junior table tennis champion.

He's been to many places.

Madhav, tell the places you've been to.

Tell them.

Kolhapur, Kuala Lumpur, Cairo, Ghana, Nigeria, Azharbhai Chawl.

He likes hearing music as well.

And gardening.

He's planted rose plants on our terrace.

Look.

Oh my!

Look... I don't want to make this too complicated.

Let me tell you frankly what I feel.

Actually...

I mean...

I accept this proposal.

Shall I sing a song for you?

No.

No, there's no need.

Please.

Please, hear it. Please hear me sing.

Small heart

Small desires

An innocent desire In this fun-filled heart

The desire to touch the stars And moon

The desire to fly in the open sky

Small heart, small desires

An innocent desire In this fun-filled heart

I really liked your daughter.

Great. That's great.

Goddess, You're truly benevolent.

-Did you hear? -Yes, yes.

Congratulations.

Mother-in-law.

-Mother-in-law. -What is it, Savitri?

Meenakshi's marriage has been fixed.

-Oh, God! -Yes.

-Really? -Congratulations, son.

Mom. Mom.

Can I speak with your daughter for a minute?

Of course, son. Why not?

Now this is your home, too.

Go, go to her bedroom.

Go on.

What is it, mother?

Coming.

It's Madhav.

Oh my! Touch-up.

-It's me. -Come in.

Come in, please.

Actually, back in my school days...

QSQT, MPK, DDLJ, HAHK...

I...

All I said that I like this proposal

because I really liked you.

But do you...

I mean, they never asked...

What happened? What are you doing?

Nothing. Normal. Normal.

Mrs. Dixit. Meenakshi's marriage has been fixed.

-It's been fixed. -I liked your parents.

Very simple they are.

-Fifty-eight thousand! -75,000!

Please tell me. Do you like me?

You are really nice but... I...

Look, you can clearly say whatever you want to.

No, he's the only child.

We just met ten minutes ago so I...

Take a chance... parents...

I can understand. I can understand.

Look, I...

Meenakshi, congrats!

Madhav. Madhav, I am Nana. Your brother-in-law.

Your engagement's been fixed. We've even booked the hall.

We've discussed everything with your parents.

-Fifteen days? -Come on, Nana.

Can't you wait for two months?

The marriage is two months later.

We've a request, son.

It's not right to enter their room without knocking.

East or west, Madhav is the best!

No, it's nothing.

-I am leaving. -Okay, fine.

Oh no.

Twelve, 13, 14... 15!

Engagement.

Oh no!

Hello, how are you?

-Will you come to the temple tomorrow? -Yes.

You didn't go to work today?

Get up, it's 8:30.

You will never be on time for anything in your life.

Surya.

Surya, the cooking gas is over.

Get up, go to the agency to book it.

Surya.

I am fed up with you.

Surya, look at me.

Surya, look at me, I am talking to you!

Look at you, you are never home.

No sense of responsibility, nothing.

How much do you expect from me at this age?

Surya, this is not what your father wanted our home to be like.

He has worked hard for you, for me

so that all of us can live happily in this city.

I have to work now.

Why don't you leave that painting class and decide something about your future?

Same discussion every week.

Water.

No point in talking to people like you.

Now please leave some money for me.

I need it for groceries.

Oh God.

Did you forget something?

You always forget things.

Hello, aunt.

Look, aunt. I've such beautiful saris.

Mepakshi, Pochampalli, Benaras, Kanjivaram.

Take a look. Such pretty saris.

And at half the rate. Half the rate.

Is this the time to buy saris?

I don't want your saris.

Get lost.

Aunt. Aunt. Aunt.

You've a sad story, dear.

The things women have to do to run their home.

So, did your father never try to find you

after leaving you at the orphanage?

May God bless him... wherever he is.

And you?

Your family, grandchildren.

I don't have any family or grandchildren.

All I have is a son.

I wonder when he'll get married?

Wait here, I'll be right back.

Child.

Where were you?

Here. Have some coffee before you leave.

You will like it.

Dear. Are you married?

No.

What type of daughter-in-law are you looking for?

Who would be foolish enough to give us their daughter?

We aren't what we were before.

I wonder when and how my son will get married.

I wonder if making paintings will land him a job or not?

What are you saying, aunt?

These painters... look just like Guru Dutt in college.

Cigarette in one hand, cruel world,

worn out old clothes, broken hearts.

And once they pass out, they turn into Aamir Khan.

Surya will surely become Aamir Khan.

How do you know his name?

Where did you see his paintings?

Do you have water supply 24 hours a day?

How many children do you have? How many rooms do you have?

Who cooks in your house? Do you want dowry?

What type of daughter-in-law are you looking for?

Modern daughter, who goes out and works

or the ones that sit at home, like in television serials.

Do you stay here or do you keep visiting Tamil Nadu?

Mom, open the door. Quick.

He's back. Must have forgotten something.

Move.

Mom, I'm getting late.

Ruthu, Come soon. You have to go to school.

What?

Why are you waving?

Get lost.

Oh my! I was waiting for you.

I know.

By the way, what films do you like?

Meaning?

I like what everyone else does.

-And you? -Well...

I'm a bit old-fashioned when it comes to films.

-Why? -Don't know.

But violent, revenge stories, I don't like these things.

Do you know who my favorite actors are?

Farooq Sheikh and Deepti Naval.

-Have you seen their films? -No.

Who's Deepti Naval?

Deepti Naval!

Deepti Naval...

You must watch her films.

I will show you.

I mean, we'll watch their films together.

Such amazing chemistry between them.

Oh, my God! Out of this world.

And that's my idea of an ideal romance.

Then I'll have to watch those movies.

-What did they do in the films? -Nothing.

Nothing?

I mean, they were ordinary people.

Just like our neighbors.

No makeup or glossy designer clothes.

-They didn't wear designer clothes. -Never.

What were they doing in films?

And there wasn't much singing and dancing in their films.

No songs and dance?

They had songs.

They conveyed their expression this way.

-Through their eyes. -Yes.

And Deepti Naval.

Deepti Naval! Oh, my God!

Since I saw you I realized

Since I saw you I realized

Life's blazing sun

And you're the cool shade

The heart...

Expressed a desire again

The heart expressed a desire again

Once again I explained my heart

Once again I explained my heart

Life's blazing sun And you're the cool shade

Since I saw you I realized

Meenakshi.

Are you always this quiet?

No, it's not that.

I'm the only one talking since evening.

Fine. I'll leave.

Madhav. Thank you.

What for?

You're the first boy to ask what I wanted.

-What I felt. I... -So?

I... actually...

No. It's nothing.

And thank you for singing that song.

Tell me! Tell me!

Mother-in-law.

Nandini's going to rise from the dead today.

Meenakshi.

Meenakshi.

What is it, mother?

What did you two do?

Where did you go?

What did you two eat?

I swallowed two dozen sleeping pills.

And a bottle of Dettol.

And if I still don't die,

I'm going to jump in front of the moving train tomorrow.

Or else set myself, you, this house, neighbors on fire.

Or I'll turn into a witch and cast a spell on everyone.

What's happening with my life?

Oh, God! She's so dramatic.

God.

Meenakshi, you're going to get engaged soon.

And then marriage.

-I need time to think. -Fine, think.

Until then I'll boil the milk.

Mom, I need time to think about the engagement.

You can think about it even after your engagement.

What's the point in thinking about it now?

Right now, quit your job and get a facial.

Tomorrow we're visiting Madhav's place.

To see your home.

Which isn't yours yet but soon it'll be.

Five feet four inches.

Five feet four inches.

Let me in.

Actually, we're building a double bed for Madhav and Meenakshi.

Madhav used to sleep alone on a single bed until now.

And now...

Say your dialog.

Where is Madhav?

Shall I prepare tea and snacks?

Madhav.

There you are.

You're here.

Father. Why didn't you tell me?

Please be seated.

I'll just go change.

-Yes. -Come.

Let's go.

Sandal one.

Sandal two.

Meenakshi, run.

I couldn't run.

Run. Run.

I couldn't run, but you run away.

Run. Run.

Run away, quickly.

Here.

Where is Meenakshi?

Meenakshi... What do you mean?

She must be coming.

After freshening up, straightening her lipstick.

No, no, Meenakshi isn't upstairs.

I thought she came down with all of you.

Meenakshi is like an empty plastic bag.

She's gone with the wind.

She's gone with the wind.

You came after a long time.

I've something for you.

Take it.

When do I come back for the rest?

What should I do? Oh God!

Should I sigh?

Oh, my God

What should I do?

Every word you say

Resonates

Like melody in my ears

Like melody in my ears

My body's so helpless

I didn't listen to my heart

The heart says the body's a deceiver

The heart says the body's a deceiver

Oh God! It creates a stir

Oh God! It creates a stir

What's this passion in my heart?

There's an excitement in my heart

Oh God! It creates a stir

Oh God! It creates a stir

Oh my!

Oh my!

Oh my!

Oh my!

I borrowed few colors From the fervor of youth

And filled my dreams with colors

I crossed every boundary

What's this desire fueling me?

Wherever I get the sweet scent Of my beloved

My heart starts to sway

I raced out of the gardens

And ran after the bees

Bound to captivity

This poor prey

Locks eyes with her hunter

Locks eyes with her hunter

My body's so helpless

I didn't listen to my heart

The heart says the body's a deceiver

The heart says the body's a deceiver

Oh God! It creates a stir

Oh God! It creates a stir

What's this passion in my heart?

There's an excitement in my heart

Oh God! It creates a stir

Oh God! It creates a stir

Oh my!

Oh my!

Oh my!

Oh my!

What should I do? Oh God!

Should I sigh?

Oh, my God

What should I do?

Meenakshi.

Meenakshi.

Come on.

Let's go, Meenakshi. We're already late.

The show starts at six o'clock.

Meenakshi.

Hey, mister. What's going on?

Look, the office is closed.

We're not available.

And we don't want any vacuum cleaner or water purifier.

No, no, I know her. Meenakshi, please tell her.

Don't try to sell anything here. You salesman. Get lost.

Can I talk to you please?

Can I talk to you please?

Madhav!

Madhav!

Comrades, charge ahead. Come on.

Long live revolution!

Long live revolution!

Get to work. Sing songs. Sing songs. Hurry up.

Come on, Meenakshi, let's take you to the beauty parlor.

-What? -Let's go.

What's going here?

And when did you all arrive?

I don't want to go to a beauty parlor.

Meenakshi.

-Mother. -My Meenakshi.

Anju-Manju! Kamla-Vimla!

-Come on take her to the beauty parlor. -Mother.

What are they all doing here?

Our home seems like a movie set!

What's today?

Today's your engagement, dear.

Madhav's coming with his relatives in the evening.

Did you forget?

-What? -Yes.

-It's today? -Yes.

Why didn't you tell me, mother?

This isn't something you forget.

Go and take a bath, quickly.

Let her get ready. Come on.

I completely forgot.

How are you, aunt?

Leave me!

Leave me! Leave me! Leave me! Leave me you witch.

-I want to drink. -No!

-Don't drink it! -Leave me!

Leave me!

Please don't tell anyone, Mynah.

I thought before I get engaged

-I will... I will... -What?

-Whenever he's around, I... I... -What?

Nothing.

-What's your future husband's name? -Madhav.

Madhav Rajadhyaksh.

He's too nice.

-But me... -I am nice, too.

Being nice doesn't get you married.

Do you know everything about him?

Wait.

Meenakshi. He's pure husband material.

See. He grows roses on his terrace.

And no records of any girlfriend either.

Marry him. Forget all about Surya.

Maybe that's what I'm going to do.

That's what I I'll have to do.

That's life.

Fall in love with one and marry another.

Meenakshi, don't cry.

Don't cry.

Marry this Madhav.

Stay with him for a few years.

And keep a watch on Surya online.

How much does his painting sell for?

What's his social circle?

What do the critics say about him?

Keep an eye on everything.

And if you see him getting famous,

then you can have an affair with him. No one's stopping you.

After all love is not everything, baby.

We don't need love and all.

Oh, beloved

I'm your sweetheart

I swallowed my tears

Wonder how I lived like this

What's my helplessness?

How do I tell you what happened

Welcome.

Are all the arrangements done?

Yes, Nana, it's all done.

-Except for one thing. -What's that, Nana?

Meenakshi.

Meenakshi's missing.

She must be somewhere around.

No, she isn't anywhere around.

-What? -Yes.

Yes.

Oh, God.

I was busy with the preparations the entire day.

I thought she's gone to the beauty parlor.

Goddess. What to do?

Cigarette.

I need a cigarette.

Cigarette.

Can I've a cigarette?

Hello.

Come in.

Careful. Careful. Careful.

Come in.

Hello.

-Come. -Looking nice.

-Come in. -Come.

It's gold.

Meenakshi.

I don't see Meenakshi anywhere.

She's gone to the temple.

To pray to our family deity.

We don't carry out any auspicious event before praying to her.

I see.

Nana.

Nana.

Nana.

Madhav has arrived, Nana.

-What now? -Look here.

Her office diary.

It has some useful numbers.

Look.

Some Mynah.

I'll go check with her.

Maybe... we can learn something.

Then go, Nana! Go quickly!

Bring her back from wherever she is.

Save me!

Here, Madhav. Have some sweets. Sweets.

We aren't here for the sweets.

Where is Meenakshi?

She...

What's wrong, Mom? Where's Meenakshi?

Save me!

Save me!

-Hi. -What the...

Hi.

I knew it.

I knew it.

Today's the night.

You were destined to come here.

To me. In my arms.

All this is happening with me for the first time.

But the feeling is wonderful.

And I feel something happening as well.

Drink. Drink.

You're mine. I am yours.

-An astrologer once told me. -What?

This full moon night

the love of your life will come ringing the bell.

The bell in my heart.

The bell in my mind.

And that young man will be your beloved.

Your love. Your sweetheart.

I can hear bells.

What to do Not to do

Stop thinking, just do-do

Some things I do myself

The rest you do

Come closer, darling Just do, do, do-do

Play the beat, touch it, touch it

Baby, I'll have your honor Served to me on a platter

Oh baby, yeah!

Served on a platter

Oh baby, yeah!

Served on a platter

Oh baby, yeah!

Served on a platter

Mom said not to do

I feel shy, what to do?

What you doing to me?

I myself do-do

How do I do-do-do-do?

No touch you-touch you-touch-you

How do I save my honor Being served on a platter

Served on a platter

Served on a platter

Oh my!

Mom said not to do

I feel coy, what to do?

Some things I do myself

The rest you do

Come closer, darling Just do, do, do-do

No do-do-do No do-do-do

No, no, no touch You-touch you-touch-you

How do I save my honor Being served on a plate?

One little seed, two little see Another do on that do

A blemish on your honor Served on a platter

Honor served on a platter

I... I...

Meenakshi.

Please stay.

Don't go.

Will you please come with me?

This factory belonged to my father.

He passed away four years ago

and I've been managing it since.

I mean, it functions on its own

I just keep a watch.

My mother doesn't like to see me painting.

She wants me to get a job abroad

or stay here and expand this factory.

But I don't know anything else.

I'm happy only when I paint.

So I attend college in the morning.

Paint in the afternoons.

And handle this place at night.

And you?

Do you like your job?

Who's in your family?

My mother-father, grandma.

And a younger brother.

But these days they're too keen on getting me out of the house.

What?

It's nothing.

By the way, I asked about you in the college.

I am so sorry.

Yes, I know.

I drink.

No, never.

I don't have the time or the money.

I stay alone and never give anyone any explanation.

I... Everyone I asked...

I mean...

Why did you ask others?

You should've asked me.

I'll drop you home.

I love you.

-What's wrong? -Nothing?

Mom! Dad!

She's my future wife!

Oh, my God!

Thank you! Thank you!

Good. Good.

All the arrangements are in place.

Good.

The relatives are here.

Good.

So why not start our engagement right now!

Yes!

Musicians. Start!

Yes, start.

Nana. Nana, what's going on?

And where's Meenakshi?

You went to get her. So who is this?

Madhav.

I understand what you're saying?

But who is she?

We want to see her face.

No, no.

No!

She will show her face only after the engagement.

And tell her name only after the engagement.

Mom, Dad, you'll be happy to know

that her parents, who live abroad

have promised to give me a sum of ten million

for my Dog House project!

I don't drink. I don't drink. I don't drink.

I don't drink either, I don't drink either, I don't drink either.

Two sober people, on an empty road

in a empty city, on an old scooter

which has a faint smell of petrol.

I got 50% in my tenth exam.

Oh my!

I scored 49.60.

You can drop me here.

I'll manage it from here.

-Thank you for dropping me. -It's alright.

Oh my!

Madhav.

Meenakshi.

You've been following me for the past few days.

You turn up everywhere I go.

Why? What does it mean?

I... I...

I...

You followed me as soon as I left college today.

And you were standing under my house till evening.

I don't know why you're doing all this?

And then you said your family wants to get you out of the house.

And mine wants someone to enter.

I mean, my mother wants someone to come home.

She wants a daughter-in-law that's smart

and never scared of anyone.

And she's willing to go anywhere she wants at anytime!

Oh my!

I like dark people and not fair.

Teach me how to say that.

I like dark people and not fair.

My handkerchief.

What are you doing?

My... Where did...

I'll tell you.

I love you.

That's how you say it in Tamil.

Oh my!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Celebration.

Lord of the Ring.

Show us your face now, daughter-in-law.

-Meenakshi. -Madhav.

Where were you? Are you all right?

Didn't I tell you Meenakshi will be back soon.

And who is this with you?

Dad, he's... Mom, he's Surya.

Meenakshi!

Mynah!

What are you doing here?

And weren't you supposed to get engaged today?

Look. I got engaged, too.

He's my husband... Nana.

-Husband? -What kind of a girl is she?

Is she drunk?

What's going on here?

Nana. When did you meet Mynah?

And wasn't today my engagement?

Hello, welcome.

Surya.

-Congrats. -Thank you.

Stay happy.

And don't forget to watch the films I recommended.

And... don't ever forget that we're always good friends

-and we'll always be. -Meenakshi.

Those Rose Day dialogs don't work here.

I'm sure we'll cross ways again in life.

Stay happy.

Thank you, Madhav.

I'll take your leave.

What now?

I want to marry your daughter.

Mom. Dad. I like Surya.

And now I know him really well.

I'll be happy with him.

Surya's a great painter.

And consider

that we will stay really happy.

I've observed him from all sides. I liked everything about him.

His height, his chest,

his eyes, his hair, his house...

What else do I say, mother?

I'm feeling so sleepy.

Give us your blessings.

Tell me fast.

Meenakshi.

I want to get engaged to Surya.

If you two are happy

then there's nothing else we want.

And anyway, we can't make out

whether this is a dream or reality.

Whether it's day or night.

Everything that's happening since last night

is beyond my understanding.

It's not a dream, Dad.

It's reality. And it's a wonderful reality.

Mom, Dad. Please give us your blessings.

Whatever's written in our destiny

Can never be averted

The groom's from down south

And he's marrying a Pune girl

Fate's played a mischief

This is a unique match

Unique

It was never heard of

Everyone's amazed

Unique

It's a bit strange

Unique

It was never heard of

Everyone's amazed

Unique

It's a bit strange

Unique

Warm welcome to all the kin

Welcome

Welcome

Warm welcome to the new relations

Welcome

Welcome

The music's playing

Congratulations to everyone

One plus one free

Two engagements for the cost of one

This moment of engagement is

Unique

It was never heard of

Everyone's amazed

Unique

It's a bit strange

Unique

It was never heard of

Everyone's amazed

Unique

It's a bit strange

Unique

Unique

Unique

Unique