Original subtitles

[yelling]

♪ I got ya with my winning smile ♪

♪ I'm a living lesson in flair and style ♪

♪ You just can't help but stare at my savoir-faire ♪

♪ I'm Nouveau, Deco, Roman-Greco ♪

♪ Rococo, Barroco ♪

♪ Be-bop, hip-hop, flip-flop ♪

Somebody stop me!

♪ Pretty viridian faces like mine ♪

Don't come a dime a dozen, I stand out of the crowd!

♪ Babe when they made me Yeah they broke the mold! ♪

Wholesome and kind, staid and refined, totally out of my mind!

♪ Arch-villains and ne'er-do-wells ♪

♪ Had better learn to decorate prison cells ♪

Green goes with anything if they ask, see?

♪ Well, there's one last thing I gotta sing about ♪

Open up wide and really shout!

Whoa, look out!

♪ This is the Mask! ♪♪

Smokin'!

[crowd cheering]

As we dedicate this splendid new stadium

let us honor the man who made it possible.

- Colonel Beauregard Klaxon. - [cheering]

Mr. Mayor, I'm happier than a raccoon in a garbage dump

to have built your swamp into a shining example

of Edge City fluff.

And what better way to end this event than with the unveiling of...

ahem... my latest statue.

Greeting, boys and gargoyles.

Let's rock!

You green-faced hoodlum, what have you done with my statue?

Easy there, tubby. Don't get your shorts in a bunch.

That's my job.

That doesn't look a thing like me.

No. It does now!

You got a problem here, Mayor, a dilemma.

When folks think of Edge City, they think of the Mask.

He's a joke, son, a joke, that is.

And nobody invests a dime in a joke.

Pay attention, son. I'm not just talking to hear my jowls flap.

We want to attract more investors to Edge City.

And this is how we're gonna do it.

The Edge Games?

That's right, son.

A friendly competition betwixt us and archrivals Centerville.

That's not a bad idea.

Well, bust my suspenders, son.

That's the best idea since Mason met Dixon.

[coughing]

But what about the Mask?

Like my great granddaddy use to say

when facing the Yankees, there's only one way to lick a problem this big.

Ignore it up something fierce.

My fellow citizens,

I proclaim this Edge Games Week!

And to make sure nothing goes wrong,

I have a catchy message for the Mask...

Ignore moi?

A challenge!

Challenge accepted, you brute.

No one ignores the Mask.

Bring me your tired, your poor,

undivided attention.

I can't believe my eyes!

[gasps]

Somebody threw away a perfectly good Edge Games button.

[screams]

All right, Edge City, I'm throwing down the gloves.

There's something we don't see every day.

Yeah, who cares?

You know what I just heard about the Edge Games?

[panting]

Et tu, Peenman?

[phone rings]

Klaxon, it's working. Now maybe he'll really go away.

[panting]

I know I promised I wouldn't be late again. I'm sorry.

Don't give it another thought.

Your old pal Charlie has done it again.

How would you like a chance to score major points

with the boss?

All you have to do is represent the bank in the Edge Games.

But who'd put me on the team?

As Edge City's newest official coach,

I wanna say welcome to the team.

[Stanley yawning]

I know it's late, Milo, but gotta start getting in shape for the games.

OK, here we go. [grunting]

One... oh, yeah.

I'm making progress.

Milo, how am I supposed to be a contender

with the Mask keeping me out all night?

Looks like our friend here is due for a little vacation.

Bury it somewhere.

And whatever happens, do not let me get it until the games are over.

Now. [Grunts]

[snoring]

[bell dings]

Klaxon, you're up to something. I can feel it.

Oh, what have we here?

I gotta tell Stanley about this.

[snarling]

What was that?

[screaming]

[Milo barking]

Milo, quiet down, boy. It's just a shower.

I'm telling you, it was the swamp monster.

Big, slimy and green.

Green, huh? Like someone we both know, Ipkiss?

What are you saying, lieutenant?

I'm saying you're looking at the one guy who can't ignore the Mask.

I got my eye on you, Ipkiss.

I have a question about the evidence here, Lieutenant.

Where'd you find these great tasting donuts?

This don't look good, Colonel.

Supposing she found out about your little side project?

Billy Bob, you know how

I feel about loose ends.

[crowd cheering]

But, Charlie, you still haven't told me what my event is.

Are you kidding, Stanley? You're our secret weapon.

Whoo! In the event that nobody else can play,

we'll be counting on you. Excuse me.

Oh!

Stanley, thank goodness I found you.

You'll never believe it. Klaxon's been illegally dumping toxic nuclear waste

into the swamp this stadium was constructed on.

That's great, Peggy. I'm really happy for you.

Don't you get it? The radioactive waste must have mutated the swamp

into some kind of a creature.

Would you give it a rest with the swamp monsters already?

But it's true, really. You gotta change into the Mask and do something.

No, forget it, Peggy.

I'm not putting on the Mask and that is final.

All right, Mr. Spoil Sport.

I'll just find the swamp monster myself.

OK, this is the last place the monster was sighted.

[growling]

What the...

[people screaming]

OK, stay calm.

Just 'cause the swamp monster's real doesn't mean you have to panic.

The swamp monster is real!

It's attacking. It's here!

Doing what? A duet with Bigfoot?

Why don't you just save it for your fish wrap tabloid?

Come on, team, get a move on. The games are starting any minute.

Stanley, the team's gone.

Guys, come on back.

I was only kidding about keeping all your medals.

OK, it's up to you, Stanley.

You may have arrived here an uncoordinated loser,

but you're leaving an uncoordinated champion.

- Milo, this is it. - [barking]

My big chance to show everybody I can be a winner.

Not as the Mask, as me.

Stanley Ipkiss.

Milo, would you please quit with the barking?

I can't hear myself scream. Aghhh!

Take that!

I can't believe it. Peggy was right.

Milo, bring me the Mask.

[growls]

No, forget what I said about not letting me near it until after the games.

This is an emergency.

Please get the Mask, Milo.

I'll give you extra cable.

Whoa! I'll cook you a nice juicy steak.

With sauteed mushrooms.

All wrapped in bacon!

That is if I'm not dinner first.

I'm not making it up this time. The swamp monsters are real.

Back off, you deluded media leech.

You gotta come to the locker room.

The whole team's disappeared.

See, now that sounds like a missing persons case, Lieutenant.

We really should check that out, huh?

Doyle.

Milo! Where are you?

I shiver your timbers,

you slithering sea snake.

Here's your green monster. Not from a swamp,

but still slimy.

Who you calling slimy, land lubber?

About the monster, she's right.

It's real, but have no fear.

Super Mask is here.

I'm gonna nail that degenerate once and for all.

Help! Help!

[PA announcer] And with the team nowhere to be found,

it looks as though Edge City will forfeit the game.

No, no, no, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Just follow the bouncing ball.

Brickabacker, firecracker, sis-boom-bah,

rah rah rah!

Brickabacker, firecracker, sis-boom-bah...

Could I call your attention to the score, sir?

It appears we're winning.

No, we're not. The Mask is!

[panting] It's all up to you now.

Don't let us down.

What are you waiting for? Go!

Way to go, Lieutenant. We're in the lead.

- Take it. It's yours. That's an order. - No, you take it.

Unh-unh-unh. You'll never be a winner with that kind of attitude.

Ha ha ha!

To think they were scared of a little flag.

I'm making an ash of myself. [coughs]

OK, if I were a swamp monster, where would I hide?

Oh! Let me go!

Lookee here what I found, Colonel, sir.

Now see here, missy. Don't you know it ain't ladylike

to be snooping around computer files that don't belong to you?

Looks like old Uncle Beauregard

is gonna have to teach you some manners.

[screams]

Somebody stop it.

Dagnabit.

I gotta warn the major about that darn swamp monster.

It's the swamp monster. Run for your lives.

[all yawn]

- Oh, him again. - Boring.

- Been there, done that. - Down in front.

No one ignores the Mask.

I've never seen The Swamp Monster That Ate the Stadium.

Have you?

In the name of all that's holy.

There must be some way

to get you to pay attention to me!

Now that's more like it.

You're mine, you green-faced slimeball.

Now isn't this just a tad on the overkill side there, Sparky?

Klaxon, you're finished.

I know all about your illegal radioactive waste dumping.

[Klaxon] That's all well and good, sugar,

but you'll never prove it was my illegal waste dump

that made that swamp ground unstable.

So you admit you went ahead and built the stadium though you knew it would collapse?

Faster than a house of cards in a hurricane.

See, my little plan was to lure the Mask and blame it all on him.

You dirty rat, you'll never take me alive, see?

You hear me, Ma? I'm on top of the world.

So what about the swamp monster?

Well, I do declare, child. How was I supposed to know

a little old thing like my radioactive waste

would mutate into something meaner than a sow bug on a hot skillet?

[booing]

Billy Bob, I do believe we've been had

by this delicate flower.

And I don't take no hankering to being had.

I'm innocent.

I'm so innocent, you handsome hunks.

[growls]

He's right, Lieutenant. Klaxon's the guilty one.

What are you waiting for?

Get Klaxon!

Where are you going, boys?

We were just getting acquainted.

Did I ever tell you how my great granddaddy

used to execute them Yankee spies?

Everybody freeze!

Yes, young lady,

this is an authentic Civil War saber.

How observant.

I got a history lesson for you, pal.

We got your whole confession in front of 50,000 witnesses.

Hey, Lieutenant, is there any law against eating a stadium for lunch?

Of course not, Doyle.

Why would anyone ask such a ridiculous...

question.

[all] Swamp monster!

Oh, really?

Now who would have thought that green good ole boy

would come in so handy?

Fellow citizens, please remain calm.

There's no reason to panic.

Please feel free to panic. [shouting]

Listen, pilgrim, and listen good.

This stadium ain't big enough for the both of us.

Of course you know, this means war!

Call me Edgar Hedgeclipperhands.

[whirring]

[screams]

It's party time, baby!

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee,

I am the greatest.

Oops.

Hey, maybe you oughta pick on someone your own size, slimy.

But first, time to earn my merit badge.

Tight knot, loose knot, numbnut.

[hums]

Hey, bambino, how you like your antipasto, huh?

Maybe tossed.

[screaming]

[gulps]

[belches]

Mama mia! She's some spicy meatball.

I got it. I got it. I got...

What happened?

Take that, you little squirts.

[Milo growls, bites]

[Klaxon shouting]

Unteeth me, you Yankee mongrel.

Sir, you have insulted that dog.

Now I propose we settle our differences in a gentlemanly manner.

With a good old-fashioned Southern wedgie!

Game's over, Johnny Reb.

And in honor of your winning the games and saving our fair city,

I declare the Ignore the Mask campaign officially over.

Thank you, Mayor. What can I say?

But this makes me want to do something to make my mark

on my hometown.

[sobs]

[theme music playing]