Original subtitles

[theme song]

[no audio]

♪ I gotcha with my winnin' smile ♪

♪ I'm a livin' lesson in flair and style ♪

♪ You just can't help but stare at mysavoir-faire ♪

♪ I'm nouveau deco Roman greco ♪

♪ Rococo Barocco bebop hip hop ♪

♪ Uh flip-flop somebody stop me ♪

♪ Pretty viridian faces like mine ♪

♪ Don't come a dime a dozen ♪

♪ I stand out in a crowd ♪

♪ Babe when they made me yeah they broke the mold ♪

♪ Wholesome and kind staid and refined ♪

♪ Totally out of my mind ♪

♪ Archvillains and ne'er-do-wells ♪

♪ Had better learn to decorate prison cells ♪

♪ Green goes with anything if they ask see ♪

♪ Well there's one last thing I gotta sing about ♪

♪ Open up wide and really shout ♪

♪ Oh look out ♪

♪ This is The Mask ♪♪

S-s-smokin'!

By all accounts, lieutenant, The Mask is once again a hero.

It seems he foiled this TV store robbery.

Sure, The Mask is a hero, like Doyle here

is a world-class ballet dancer.

It's a conspiracy!

Mask, if you're listening, hear this

your career of evil is over.

I'm going to put you behind bars before this day is..

Hey!

Wedgie!

[laughing]

Somebody stop me.

Hang onto your eyeballs

'cause we're watching the big game

on our brand-new wide-screen TV.

I was right there. Just had to buy it.

Well, maxed out the credit card. Still got 17 payments to make.

But, I'll let Stanley worry about that later.

It's going to be a perfect day, bow-wow.

Just me, you, a hoagie

and some gut-busting gridiron action.

[man on TV] 'Welcome, sports fans.'

'Today's big game promises to be'

'a true clash of the titans.'

[knock on door]

Go away, go away, go away.

Oh, mother of mercy.

[grunting]

[gasps] I can't afford this.

[knock on door]

Oh, Stanley, thank goodness you're home.

I've been called to a meeting downtown.

You wouldn't mind babysitting baby, would you?

Uh, see, I really, I..

Thanks. You're a lifesaver. Now, you remember my no-nos?

Don't you? No sweets and of course, no cartoons.

'Oh, baby will love watching'

the "Barnaby Show" on your new wide-screen TV.

I didn't know you could afford one of these on your salary.

I can't.

Barnaby's such a wonderful role model.

Baby just loves Barnaby.

Hiya, kids.

Welcome to the funnest, bounciest

most adorable place on Earth.

[laughing]

[crying]

Oh, yeah. Baby just loves Barnaby.

Oh, baby, I promised mom you'd watch.

Barnaby's good for you.

Baby, want your bottle?

Ba-ba?

'Ba-ba? Yeah, ba-ba.'

Uh, just let uncle Stanley make sure it's warm enough.

[screams]

[giggling]

Need ice.

Yum-yum. Yum-yum.

I'm sorry, baby. Mommy said no sweets.

[crying]

Oh, baby, uh, hey, listen

how about some delicious creamed succotash instead?

Yes, sir. If he were an adult, I'd horsewhip him.

Be good, boys and girls, because Barnaby can see you.

Ow! Okay, okay, baby.

I'll turn it off. Now, where's the remote?

Oh, baby!

Okay, vertical hold, stereo boost, modulation rectifier

and darn newfangled sets don't even have power switches.

[crying]

[howling]

Losing sanity. Must unplug TV.

Can't reach.

Oh, thank goodness you're okay.

Not to mention the TV's still..

[screams]

You don't want to do that.

[growling]

Baby, give Uncle Stanley the mask.

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ I'll dance until my legs are sore ♪

♪ Till I am cuckoo ♪

♪ Wack wack wacka-wacka-doo ♪

♪ Shoo shoo shoopa-doopa-doo ♪

♪ Wack wack wacka-wacka-doo ♪

♪ Shoo shoo shoopa-doopa-doo ♪♪

Baby, don't! I still got 17 payments left on that thing.

Thud.

You've got what you wanted. Now give me the mask.

[burps]

Vroom

Milo, two things have become painfully clear.

One, baby's going hog-wild doing everything

mom never let him, and two... I need pants.

And he, he was like something out

of a, a monster movie, I tell you.

Big, big green head, strength of a giant.

Green head you say?

Yeah, and after he finished all my ice cream

he... he did this.

Whoa, hey, hey.

Is that a regulation uniform there, mister?

Doyle, that's obviously the work

of that twisted sociopath, The Mask.

He's out there somewhere, and I'm gonna sniff him out.

Vroom vroom.

Yum-yum.

Well, what have we got here?

[male #1] 'Yum-yum.'

Get a load of this chopper.

Oh, fancy.

You must be a tough guy, eh?

Splash splash.

Hey!

Time to teach this cheeky bloke a lesson, boys.

I'd do it myself, except me back's gone out on me.

He don't look so tough to me.

What's the matter, you chicken?

Gobble, gobble, gobble.

That's a turkey, you nitwit.

Whatever.

I'm gonna cook his goose.

Roar roar

[babbling]

Swish Oh, I-I don't believe it.

Slurp slurp.

You are one tough bird, you are.

How'd you like to join up with us?

[babbling]

[dramatic music]

So The Mask is spreading out.

He's got himself a gang now.

Anything else you can tell us about the green-faced guy?

Yeah. He kept sucking down ice cream.

Tons of it.

Ice cream, huh?

[upbeat music]

Ow! This stuff's hurting my cavities.

He eats it. Maybe it'll make us tough as him.

You got to meet the new guy, boss.

'A real bruiser he is.'

I look forward to it, Pete.

So let me give you the skinny on our operation.

We work for Lonnie the Shark

biggest bookie and loan shark around.

[clanking]

Baby! Oh, thank goodness.

Uh, baby, why don't you come with me and let these, uh

nice gentlemen get on with their business, okay?

Who does he think he is calling us nice gentlemen?

Get him!

Vroom.

[Stanley] 'Now, fellas, I'll tell ya.'

If you don't stop this, I'm going to have to report you

to 1-800-How-Am-I-Driving.

And don't you think I won't do it.

Vroom vroom

[instrumental music]

[screaming]

[music continues]

Oh, I sure hope lieutenant knows what he's doin'.

Roar Grr! Huh?

No ice cream here.

Where you're going, the bars are made of blue steel

not tutti-frutti, the jig is up.

Mask?

Doyle!

The wire!

Are you sure he's The Mask, lieutenant?

I mean, he's a skosh small.

I know!

Well, he seems strong, though, like

you know, maybe a full-sized mask ought to be.

[lieutenant] 'I know!'

Head is green.

Doyle, the wire!

Clang.

[Doyle] 'Gee, lieutenant. He broke the truck with ya.'

vroom He's gettin' away.

All part of the plan.

With that wire on him, he'll lead us to the rest of his gang.

Oh, that's great, sir, uh, just one question.

I-I don't have to change you or anything

do I, if you make a poo?

Hey, could you watch..

Ah, look who's back.

We took care of this bloke good.

Bad enough he calls us nice gentlemen

then he's got the cheeky nerve to call you baby.

[cell phone rings]

Pete, you know I don't like to be kept waiting.

Oh, yeah, Lonnie. Right.

Uh, sorry about the holdups.

Uh, had a little roadside business to attend to.

'Meet you at the regular place, right?'

'Behind the WEDG TV Studios.'

'We're on our way.'

Doyle, this is bigger than we thought.

The Mask has ties to Lonnie the Shark.

We're gonna bust the whole sick bunch of 'em.

Vroom vroom.

WEDG TV Studios. I got to save baby.

Milo, the key.

[panting]

No. No. I said the key.

Milo, Milo, get the key, the key

so I can open the trunk.

'Attaboy, Milo!'

[starts engine]

Milo?

'The wheel, Milo! Take the wheel!'

[howling]

Whoa!

Ah!

Waa-ha!

[siren wailing]

Milo!

'Watch where you're going!'

Look out!

That was a doggie driving.

Sure, and I'm a ring-tailed lemur.

You boys need a ride?

Betsy won't mind.

Relax for a few, boys. Lonnie will be here any minute.

Hey, put that away.

I been telling Lonnie you're a tough guy.

How's it gonna look when he sees you sucking on a ba-ba?

[burps]

Boys, take the ba-ba.

Um, gee, Pete, uh

remember last time when we messed with his ice cream?

What are you, timid?

I-I'd do it myself if it, uh

wasn't for this crick in my neck.

Hey, what's this, some kind of Halloween mask or somethin'?

Oh, that's nothing.

Get a load of him.

[babbling]

I'll never be able to explain this to Lonnie.

Explain what, Pete?

Uh, I was, um, e-explaining to the guys

what a genius you are

'coming up with this whole Barnaby angle as a cover.'

Yes, a first in the annals of crime, I believe.

[laughing]

♪ Wacka wacka doo ♪

♪ Shoo shoo shooby-dooby-doo ♪♪

[burping]

What was that?

Uh, oh, that was me. Indigestion.

[crying]

Pete... explain.

Well, um, he's, uh..

The new guy, boss.

Are you mocking me, Pete?

Do you think my kiddie show cover is stupid?

Uh, no. No, boss.

You-you make a-a fine dinos...

He's wearing a wire, Pete.

He's not only a baby, he's a cop.

[laughing]

Barnaby doesn't like cops.

[crying]

Milo, don't tailgate. Use your hand signals.

"If you can read this, you've just passed WEDG TV Studios."

Milo, go left at the next light, buddy.

I-I mean, right. Right at the light.

[crying]

Dinosaurs eat brats like you for breakfast.

[woman screams]

[barks]

Uh, sorry, Lonnie, it-it's just the heap

with the creep in the trunk.

Wait a second.

You're Lonnie... the Shark?

[laughing]

Never believe what you see on TV.

Milo!

Vroom vroom.

[The Mask] Hello, boys.

S-s-smokin'!

[babbling]

Who in blazes are you?

The babysitter.

And you don't ever want to mess with the babysitter.

What are you waiting for? Waste him.

Well, here we are, the good, the bad

and I think we know who is ugly.

Oh, the-the old gauntlet maneuver, mates.

Vroom vroom

swish

[intense music]

[screams]

My chariot's equipped with enough features

to make Ben-Hur drool.

I'll take the nipper as insurance.

[screaming]

Time to punch the clutch.

[screams]

[Pete] 'Me back.'

'For real this time.'

Hey, Barnaby, 10 minutes till show time.

Kidnapping and extortion are bad enough

but for the crime of bringing Barnaby

to the children of this great land

you must pay.

[instrumental music]

[panting]

What?

You want him? Here. Catch.

Safe!

Keep this kid on a short leash.

No! Stay back!

Must have given it too much gas.

Buzz Which reminds me..

Hey, where is Barnaby?

He's on in two minutes.

Ooh!

No sign of greenhead.

Good. I'm flying the coop.

Roar.

No! Don't!

Creamed succotash?

Aah!

[screaming]

[grunting]

That way!

Pete was right.

You are a tough guy.

Alright, Mask, freeze!

You're caught in the act

'of pummeling an honest television personality.'

Gee, and I always thought The Mask

was an alright Joe.

'Hey! It's Lonnie The Shark!'

What?

This must mean The Mask is on our side, huh, lieutenant?

I-I mean, since we caught him in the act

of pummeling Lonnie The Shark and what not.

Where is The Mask anyway?

I've got some questions.

[coughing]

Ah..

Lieutenant Kellaway.

Ipkiss? What are you doing here?

Me? Uh-uh, well, it's-it's an in..

- You see, I, uh.. - I see plenty.

The Mask is here, then he's gone.

Now you're here. You know what I call that?

I call that somebody's got a secret identity.

Well, I've got to..

I..

Okay, lieutenant. I can't deny it anymore.

'I do have a secret identity.'

'I'll show you.'

'You see, I'm not just Stanley Ipkiss.'

I'm also..

Barnaby's understudy.

[laughing]

What the..

I'll get you, Ipkiss.

If it's the last thing I do.

Come on! We moved the show to studio B.

You're on in 10 seconds.

Wait! I mean, wait, I'm not ready. Whoa, whoa..

[cheering]

This is live TV!

Do something!

Gulp

[laughing]

Roar roar