Original subtitles

McClane, this is Sam Campbell, your boss. Now open up, goddammit!

Hey, McClane, be reasonable.

That's got to be a gallon of blood at least.

McClane, open up.

Fuck you and your bloody company.

You little mugget piece of shit. You're going to regret this.

Who the fuck do you think you are?

Me

I'm just another chunk of meat.

Lost in brain land.

Oh shit!

Don't you dare to do that.

Put it down.

I said put it down!

You're fired!

Weather service promises clear weather all day.

I'm moving back to Årgäng.

Börje, do you hear what I'm saying?

I'm leaving you!

Who the hell can you trust, can you tell me that?

Who the

hell can you

trust in this fucking society?

Clear weather all day.

Shit.

Yes? Edward, I've been asked... Sir, I have a Milan Milanovic on the line. Will

you take the call, sir?

No.

I'll call him back later.

Edward, I've been asked to lend you to another department.

You will get your instructions from...

From this fine young man Samuel

Campbell

That's great.

It's molesting time.

I'm Sam Campbell.

Welcome to the team. Have a seat.

So, this is the splatter and gore department.

Yes, it is.

But right now, I'd rather call it the loose limbs department.

European distributors have bought the whole loose limbs series.

We're planning on showing part one all over Europe next spring.

I don't understand.

It's big.

It's real big.

It is huge.

It's a $100 million deal.

But why have you... I personally think it's sad and very wrong.

But as you know, of course, there is legislation in some of the European

countries that forces us to cut down a bit on the violence in these films.

You want me to... We're running a very tight schedule here.

I need all the extra resources I can get.

I want you to get started as soon as possible.

Let's say... Would you like me to cut off the other one, too?

On Monday?

Are you sure I'm really qualified for this kind of work? You're just the man I

need, Eddie.

You're perfect.

I have a little house just outside town.

Since we're just a tad short of space here, I've arranged for you to work

there.

It is a little inconvenient, but you'll manage, right?

And remember, like we say here at Splatter and Gore Department, you keep

them heads rolling, hear?

European distributors, Equator Swenson.

Hi, darling.

Hello, Barbara.

So how's work going?

I'm not interrupting you, am I?

Nah, it's okay.

You never talk about work. Is it that awful? No. Tell me. No, trust me, honey,

you don't want to know. Yes, I do.

Believe me. Edward, I'm not a child, so don't treat me like one, okay?

Okay.

In this film, there's a scene where a woman gets raped by a beaver and then

shot in the head with a bazooka. Oh.

Disgusting. I can't believe you're telling me this. Honey.

Well, it's awful. A beaver? It's perverted. Honey, I'm doing it for a

good cause.

I know.

And I love you for that.

Of course, I love you anyway.

I love you too.

And you won't forget about Emmy's birthday party next Sunday. No, no, I

won't forget.

Promise? I promise.

Are you sure?

I'll be there.

And I thought we could start at 5.

Yeah.

5 p.m.

Don't be late.

Shot.

Okay. And don't work too hard.

Love you. I love you too.

Come on, hon.

Show me what you got.

Do you like what you see, darling?

Do you like my body, baby?

Yeah, I...

Come on, baby.

You can have it.

Well, not all of it. I think I'll settle for an arm.

An arm?

Do you like what you see, darling?

Well, yeah.

I don't feel a thing.

Is the nail gone now, Dr. Wrench?

Soon, my love.

Soon.

Yes! Cool, cool!

My foot!

Well, hey, don't thank me.

Thank science.

Hi, Mel.

Hi. Hi, honey.

Hi, baby. What's up?

Not much. What are you guys watching?

Lose limbs five.

Yeah.

Really, Nick, can I ask you something?

Do you always have to watch these kind of films?

Yeah.

Nah.

I'm not all fucked up.

Yet.

Stop it, Nick. Nick, stop it.

Nick, stop it. Who do you think you are? Hannibal the Cannibal?

Thank you.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Hey, Nick.

Where are you?

Here, Mr. Campbell.

I hired a new editor for the Loose Limbs series.

I think he's pretty well set up for a while.

But I want you, yeah, you, to be responsible for delivering new films

when he needs them.

Sure thing, Mr. Campbell.

Damn. Hey, Nick!

Yes, Mr. Campbell?

Don't you screw it up.

No, Mr. Campbell.

Whoa!

It's disgusting. Funky!

Hi, baby. Hi, honey. How you doing?

I'm, like, cool. Fine? You know, I missed you today.

I missed you, too. You know, the day's just been... Uh-huh.

Like, it's so much to do.

Why is Loose Limbs 8 in my office when it should be with Eddie?

Uh... Number 8?

Um... That's because, um... Uh... I forgot.

You are a piece of shit.

Yes, sir. You'd better go now. Yes, sir.

Is there any messages for me, Melanie?

Oh, no, no, I'm sorry, sir. There's no messages for you today.

Yeah. My God, he's so disgusting, you know? I'm so glad he's not my boss.

Well, he's mine. The way he's pushing me around from morning till evening, you

know? Like every fucking day, you know? I can't believe this. The way he walks

in, the way he stares at me, it's really disgusting, you know?

He smokes a lot.

I can't believe he treats you this way.

Oh, hi, Eddie.

Come on in, come on in.

So, Eddie, what's your problem?

I don't feel so good.

I don't know what's happening to me.

I'm not sure if this job, the violence, or the blood, I

don't know if I'm able to continue with... Well, Edward, neither do I.

So you tell me.

I want my old job back.

These films, they give me the creeps.

Don't forget your appointment at ten, Mr. Campbell.

I won't, honey.

Edward, I think it's important that you and I are open and honest with each

other.

You see, I'm not your mother.

Or shrink.

I'm your boss.

I don't need to know your emotional state of mind.

What I need... It's results, Edward.

Results.

And if you can't give me those results, you tell me here.

Because if not, I'll have you fired.

But Mr. Campbell, you can't mean that... Nice talking to you, Edward.

Have a nice day.

Mr. Campbell!

Don't you love it?

DON'T YOU FUCKING LOOK AT ME!

Yes? Hello?

Eddie?

Yes, it's me.

This is Sam at European.

Are you okay?

I think I maybe should be taken to a hospital.

Uh-huh. What's wrong?

Are you feeling ill?

Homesick?

I don't know.

Don't worry.

It'll probably pass.

Great. Look, give me a break, will you?

I'm coming out to visit you tomorrow.

You know, I want to check things out.

Sure.

It's your world.

I just live in it.

to me.

Hi, I'm from, uh, European.

Nick.

You brought Loose Limbs 7?

Yeah, sure did.

Great movie.

Great movie?

90 minutes of condensed sex and violence.

Do you call that a great movie?

Do you have the slightest idea of what the moral and ethical principle is?

Hey, man, relax.

You shouldn't take things too seriously.

I'm perfectly relaxed.

Now give me the film and get the hell out of here!

I don't feel a thing.

Is the nail gone now, Dr. Wrench?

Soon, my love.

Soon.

My foot!

Well, hey, don't thank me.

Thank science.

Loose Limbs 5, The Anatomy of Fear.

Coming soon to a theater near you.

And now it's dark.

I'm still waiting.

I don't understand.

Waiting for what?

For you to prove yourself.

You've got such potential.

It would be a real waste if you didn't put it to use.

The whole world would be-

There's much work to be done.

I trust you will be happy to do your part.

I try to do my best.

Yes, I know about your work.

And let me be honest, I'm far from pleased.

You know, what's shown on the screen is a mere reflection of someone's ungodly

sick mind.

You have to remove these minds or else nothing is won.

Just remember not to expect any gratitude.

Look what they did to me.

And all I wanted was to free them from evil.

Them?

You know, them.

Yeah, I guess so.

Closer.

Don't be afraid.

You have a wonderful face.

So noble.

And so clean.

You know, don't you?

that they will have to adjust.

Huuuh!

um oh

oh

It's Sam.

Sam Campbell.

Hi.

It is you, Eddie.

Always nice with a warm welcome.

I hope it wasn't meant to keep me out.

You have some strange... neighbors.

One of them got into the house last night. Yes, what happened?

It was a fight.

I scared him off.

And now you're shutting up the house in order to keep him out, eh?

I love that, Edward.

I sure do. I like a man who ain't afraid of taking radical action.

So, how are you getting on with your work?

Good. I want to see it.

Yes, of course. Go right ahead.

Eddie!

Eddie!

Are you coming?

Listen. Sam calling Edward.

Come in, Edward.

Now get that neighbor shit out of your head.

We have some serious business to discuss.

I'm listening.

I want you to answer a simple question.

Can you do that for me?

And tell me this.

Where in the fuck is my beaver rapeseed?

But... It's out, of course.

Are you nuts?

That scene's worth a fortune.

Oh, my God.

This guy's a couple of cans short of a six-pack.

There was no sexually explicit footage in that scene. No tits, no cocks, no

pussy, no obscene body movements.

Get it?

Read my lips.

Not X-rated.

But it's...

It's a disgusting scene. Make a note.

Beaver rape clip stays in the film.

I like you, Eddie. I really do.

You're a nice guy. You want to do the right thing.

Only the right thing is wrong as long as you work for me.

You hear what I'm saying to you?

Eddie?

Eddie?

What the fuck are you whining about?

No!

Eddie?

You spineless little sissy!

Come on!

Raise me to hell!

Evil has shown itself to you. Now you must fight it.

Let go of your fear.

I'll guide you. I'll show you the true beauty of hatred.

We who dwell in darkness know both sadness and grief.

Don't we, Ian?

is hurting.

So my friend, I grant you a favor.

You will eat pussy in hell for the rest of eternity.

I want us to be real

close.

DON'T YOU FUCKING LOOK AT ME!

disconnect them bones then dry bones disconnect them bones then dry bones now

hear the word of the Lord when your head bone connected from your neck bone your

neck bone connected from your shoulder bone your shoulder bone connected from

your backbone your backbone connected from your hip bone your hip bone

connected from your thigh bone

from your knee bone your knee bone connected from your leg bone your leg

bone connected from your ankle bone your ankle bone connected from your heel bone

your heel bone connected from your foot bone your foot bone connected from your

toe bone now here

Uh, hello.

Hello there.

Uh, hi.

New films for Edward?

Yeah.

Yeah. Are they any fun?

Ha!

Not really, no.

I want films that are funny.

You do?

Coffee?

Huh?

Thanks.

You have, like, uh, sugar?

Guess not.

It's hot.

You see...

I really wanted to thank you for Loose Limbs 7.

Yeah?

Did you like it?

Liked it?

I loved it.

So much pain.

I love the concept of pain.

Pain makes people so repentant.

It almost gives me a hard-on.

You're really something else, you know that?

Yeah, you're right.

I am.

Be silent!

with your brain.

But don't you worry.

I can help you.

Are you ready?

That's great, but right now I'm like, I'm a little busy.

Your disease is confusing you, my friend.

You need me in order to make sensible decisions.

Yeah.

Listen, let me out, you fucking maniac. You fool.

But I'll help you.

Doves will nest in your heart.

Please, let me go.

Yes, of course.

Of course.

But first we must decide what should be done with you.

Me?

Don't you fucking look at me!

One potato!

Two potato!

Three potato!

Got you, little cocksucker.

There you are, you little motherfucking shithead.

Yeah, that one, yeah.

Oh, get away.

That's gotta be a gallon of blood at least.

Oh, yeah, get away, that. Nope, that's not good. This one, that one.

Fuck you, fuck you.

Don't thank me.

Perfect.

A zip?

I think maybe... You don't think nothing.

You do as I say.

Capiche?

Load'em.

Groovy.

Yo Kraken, if someone shows up, you make them leave, right?

So you stay.

It's tough, the car, so, whoa, whoa.

You know, this really pisses me off!

Stay away!

Are you talking to me?

Look, you're crazy.

None of us want to die.

So why don't I just walk out that door and we forget this ever happened, right?

Wrong!

This is dying time.

Fuck.

Oh, what can I say?

It's a sad...

But a beautiful world.

You fuck. I'll crush your skull and piss on the remains.

What the?

So you like headbanging, eh?

It's for you!

Hello?

Are we having fun yet?

We're going out to see your daddy.

But mother, what about my party?

I'm sorry, Emmy.

Go and get your coat, okay?

See ya.

See ya.

Yoohoo!

You wait here.

Welcome, dear.

Edward.

My God.

You look terrible.

You need a doctor.

So, I ran out of Band-Aids.

I'm taking you to the hospital.

Edward, listen to me.

So, I'm listening.

Why have you removed everything except the sex and violence?

Edward, you need professional help.

Don't you patronize me. You don't know shit about these things.

I'll show you, Barbara.

I'll show you a good moral message.

Watch carefully.

You might even learn something.

This is sick.

Where's your sense of humor, darling?

Don't you see? This is what happens if you fuck!

This is outrageous.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Barbara, I'm losing my patience with you.

I can't believe you just said that.

I'm ashamed of you.

I'm ashamed of my own husband.

Oh.

Stick your cock up her ass.

Motherfucking worthless cocksucker.

Yeah. I bet that's all you want.

Am I right? Am I right? Am I right?

What is wrong with you?

Come dance with me, Barbara.

Honeybunch.

Like we used to.

Remember?

We were young.

We were lovers.

Remember how we used to dance all night?

I'm leaving.

No!

But you just came, honey.

By the way, I won't let you.

Edward.

Edward.

Let me at least take you to the hospital. You're hurt.

You're hurt. You're hurt.

I'm not hurt. This is not pain.

You don't know what pain means.

I'm going to show you pain.

Meet pain.

Have you been a naughty boy?

Are you good to go? Yes, yes, yes.

Nothing's wrong with me. I've never been more right.

For God's sake, stop it.

Are you mad?

No, I don't think so.

I think you're just so fucking horny, right?

Well, you can tell me.

You can tell good old Eddie.

Come on. Come on, say it.

Fuck me.

Fuck me hard.

Oh, yeah.

Me so horny. Me love you a long time.

You know.

so this is what you play with when i'm not around to give you a treat

stunning

little thing

pleasant surprise now we have not only the

big bad bitch but also her little

naughty naughty daughter

come on come on come

Give daddy a hug.

Come,

honey.

Come to daddy.

If you ever try to touch her again, I'll kill you.

Adjustment time.

Don't you fucking touch me.

Is this the police?

Yes, ma'am. Something terrible has happened. Please come quickly.

You pathetic freak.

Emmy.

Emmy.

Come on, sweetheart. Let's get out of here.

Hurry up. Come on.

But, mother, what about my party?

Oh, fuck!

Oh, shit.

Hide. Hide, Emmy.

Yoo-hoo.

I'm coming to get you Barbara!

Daddy's gonna cut.

Daddy's gonna cut.

Daddy's gonna cut.

Listen to this, Barbara.

Barbara.

Don't you fucking look at me.

BITCH!

This man is too wild. Take him out of here.

He's psychotic. Give him 10 CC.

He's okay now. You can remove the jacket.

So much work, so little time.

I knew it all the time.

I told the doctor someone's after me.

But they told me I was paranoid.

Is that true?

That's true.

But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean I'm not here to get you.

Hey you! Stop!

Hey!

Hey! Did you hear me?

Where the fuck are you going?

Man?

Hi. Hi, hon.

I don't look so good, do I?

No.

You look like shit.

Easy that hurts

Bitch.

I worked so hard to make this boy pure of heart. How do you think it makes me

feel to see you destroy my work, you worthless little whore? Somebody help!

Help! Oh, Nick!

Shut up.

Where's the problem?

Be careful out there, Captain.

He's extremely dangerous.

Affirmative.

You heard the man.

Are you ready to kick some ass, girls?

Yes, sir!

We love to kick ass, sir!

Nice tie.

Clear. He's been here all right.

Nice bed.

Let me...

Nash door.

Remember, this is an excellent opportunity to save a taxpayer's money.

Oh!

Move!

Bye,

dude.

Hm?

There's a fucking war going on up there. Let me through. I gotta get up. No one

gets up there. No one.

Nobody. Man, let me through. I gotta get up. No, no, no, no, no. Nobody gets the

fuck up there. Nobody. My girlfriend's up there. Nobody.

nobody nobody get the up there

come on out of there

come on out of there you sick son of a come

on out come on out fight like

a man

Soon, my love.

Soon.

You had such potential, Edward.

But you proved yourself wrong.

But I did everything you told me to, didn't I?

Search.

The truth lies within you.

You tried your best.

But now you have to pay for your failures.

Rest in peethas, motherfucker.

An empty feeling came over me when I lowered the gun.

Strange.

After all, Mel was amazingly still alive, and yet, it had been a bad and

violent day.

As I watched Mel lying there, purity and innocence personified, it all suddenly

became clear to me.

Someday the world will be a kinder place for everybody. For the children, for the

little puppies, and for everything soft, cuddly, and wonderful.

Someday love will rule the world.

It will happen.

Oh yes, it will happen.