Original subtitles

♫ (humming) ♫

♫ La, la la la la la, la la la la ♫

♫ La la la la, la, la, la... la... ♫

♫ La, la la la la la la la la la ♫

♫ la la la... la... ♫

(sighs)

I know you're there, Griffin.

I mean I suppose if you weren't, at this point I'd be insulted.

(sighs)

Towel, please.

(scoffs)

Oh. Whoops... (chuckles)

(sighs)

(moaning) Ooh, ooh.

How'd you know I was here?

Because, you're a pervert, that's how.

You're always here when I bathe.

So I suppose I should be taking a nice, leisurely stroll outside instead.

God forbid.

Ha! You know nothing about being invisible.

It's a bloodbath out there. Birds and bugs...

It'll be a bloodbath in here if Victor catches you.

You know how unbelievably jealous he gets.

Ha! Just let him catch me!

Nya ha! I'm the invisible man! Ha ha ha ha ha ha...

How dare you!

I didn't touch her!

Dear, please, I'm naked.

So am I.

Me? Jealous? Ha! That's a real laugh, Elizabeth. A real laugh.

I mean a.) I am a handsome, young, immortal genius, who is threatened by absolutely no one.

And b.) jealousy is a waste of brain activity.

I have many more important things to do than be "unbelievably jealous."

Okay, you caught me.

Oh hello Griffin, hope you're well.

Um... I'm okay, I guess...

Good, good, off to work, take care old boy.

Hey!

Ha ha!

What? Don't look at me like that.

Like what?

Men...

Seriously, like what?

[thunder claps]

♫ [music track: theme song] ♫

(howls)

♫ Beyond space and time ♫

♫ stranger than the soul ♫

♫ is the world ♫

♫ deep inside the Frankenhole ♫

Gyah!

♫ Leave all hope behind ♫

♫ give up all control ♫

♫ take my hand ♫

♫ we're going down the Frankenhole ♫

[thunder claps]

[knocking]

[creak]

Mother Teresa?

Yes, please?

Well, as long as you're begging, do come in.

[thunder claps]

Herr Frankenstein, Mother Teresa.

Pleasure to meet you, Mother.

What can we...

do to you?

I, uh, (chuckles) you're not gonna believe this, I-

Spit it out.

Ah ha! I am pregnant!

With a child! (sobs)

...Really.

Well, con-bad-ulations.

Who did this to you?

Who knows, it could be anyone!

I can't remember, I do a lot of people a lot of favors!

Haunting faces everywhere!

(gasps) Oh, all this Catholic guilt is killing me!

My problem? I can't say no.

People give me those puppy-doggy eyes, I go all melty, oh...

Mm-hmm... So, what do you need from us?

I can't have baby, is bad for my job!

Career, kaput!

So, you know, I need, eh, baby-go-bye-bye.

But any doctor could do this mind-numbingly routine procedure, why come to us?

Because you very far away,

not only by walking, but also by tick-tocks.

No one must know.

I see.

- Ahh. - Ah, yes.

Well, I think we can help you, but um...

This laboratory, it's so filthy! We couldn't possibly work in these tragic conditions!

Do you think, oh, could you possibly please clean it for us, Mother Teresa?

Yes, ple-e-e-e-e-ease?

We're simply starving for cleanliness.

- Ple-e-e-e-e-ease? - I-

- Ple-e-e-ease? - Ple-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ease?

Alright, yes, I have a little time, I suppose...

Thank you, perfect!

But I can't stay for-

Thank you! [shuts door]

Gyaaah!

This is terrible...

[squish!]

Wink!

Wink!

Ow!

Damn it. Kick you in the water...

(sighs)

- Come on, Kitty! - Meow.

Hello, little peasant girl.

- (gasps) Who's there? - Meow?

Me. Jack Griffin.

The Invisible Man!

Are you a monster?

Oh ho ho, heavens no.

[fly buzzing] I'm a brilliant mad scientist who has created a serum for invisibility!

Unfortunately, I have yet to create the serum for...

[musical sting]

visibility.

You don't need a serum for that!

Not most people, no. But I do.

Meow?

[fly buzzing] And yet, I still enjoy life.

[fly buzzing] And, though I'm invisible, it's better than most have it around here.

[splat, fly buzzing] I mean, I'm invisible, yes, but at least I'm not an ugly monster.

- Were you ugly when you weren't invisible? - Meow?

[fly buzzing] Eh... I...

[fly buzzing] No, I did alright, uh, dated a little,

[fly buzzing, splat] went steady with a cute enough bird, y'know, eh? She was fine!

(chuckling) I, uh, I think she broke up with me because I was obsessed with my work!

- Really? - Meow?

I said, "I think!"

- Sorry! - Meow!

So...

- how do you make your clothes invisible? - Meow?

How's that?

Well, a serum's not a potion. When you drink it, it goes into your body,

- not your clothes. - Meow.

[fly buzzing, splat] Yeah, that's true, I, uh, suppose...

- So...? - Meow...?

Well, my clothes aren't invisible, per se...

Meow?

I... take them off.

Wait. You're telling me, that you're talking to a poor little peasant girl, while you're...

- naked? - Meow?

Yes.

- Aaaaaah!! - Meoooww!!

Alright, I'm leaving! Don't scream!

- Wink! - Oh bollocks-

Ouch! Ow!

[fly buzzing] Oh, bugs in my teeth- (spits)

Humph! Scientists! They're worse even than monsters.

Meow!

[shing!]

Alright, cobwebs all clean now.

Ooh, shiny.

So, now, maybe I have a little abor-

Yeah, thanks. Um, now, if you could, my wife Elizabeth needs a little help in the bathroom.

But the poor! I must go to them!

Ple-e-e-e-e-ease?

Ohh, the puppy-dog eyesie, I can't resist!

Ple-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ease?

Oh, um. (baby-talking) Yes, ple-e-e-ease help

his... wife...?

Ohh! Alright, alright, I go help Mrs. Lady, but then, with the yoo-hoo-hoo-hoo?

Yes yes yes, thank you Mother Teresa. Thank you.

Okay, I-I hold you to this one...

(chuckling)

Alright, bath ready now, Mrs. Wifenstein.

Finally.

Ugh.

Okay, robe off now...

Thank you, Mother Teresa. You're so kind.

Okay, I go have abortion then-

- Agh! - Oh, please stay.

Someone simply must help me do my bath.

(grumbles)

Hey, Griffin.

Geez! I didn't even know I'd be here, how could you?

The Devil! (sobs)

No, I'm not the Devil, Mother Teresa.

I'm just the Invisible Man.

But how are clothes invisible?

Because the pervert is naked.

Nooooo! Can't look at the naked!

Mother Teresa, I am Jack Griffin. And I'm a very lonely man.

Griffin, what are you doing?

I'm giving Mother Teresa my puppy-dog eyes, obviously!

Oh no, the pu-

But I see nothing!

Oh! It's like I'm not even here!

Not here? No face to haunt me?

(gasps) No guilt?

I'm leaving!

Wait! [shuts door]

Don't g- Where he g-

Puppy? ...Invisible puppy?

[thunder claps]

Is anybody sitting here?

No.

Is anybody sitting here?

I said no.

- Hey! Watch it! Get off. - Oof!

Pardon me.

Jeez, some people.

(sighs) Gimme a tall one, bartender. This tall.

[pours]

(glugs)

Has thy day been perilous?

Get me. I'm invisible and naked, and I still have a hard time getting laid.

Assemble in the queue behind me.

- Plus, there's a sure thing at the castle.

- (slurps)

Mother Teresa? She'll do anything to anyone who gives her puppy-dog eyes.

Except for me of course, because I'm invisible!

Oh?

Tell me more.

[pours]

Well, she's kind of a butterface, and I'm not sure what her hooters look like,

but I'm gonna go back and get a better look, if you know what I mean!

Oh?

[thunder claps]

Ooh, scrubby scrub...

"Blood-B-Gone" my foot, ah!

(snorts)

Oh, scrub!

You... scour away blood stains... incredibly...

What?

- (mumbling) - Yech, those not puppy-dog eyesies!

Those rotting eggs eyesies, I no like 'em! Get out!

(moaning) Ohhh!

- Go on, scram!

- Out, out. - (sobs)

Are you there, Mr. Not-Even-Here?

Men!

[thunder claps]

Ugh.

(whistles) Woo-hoo...

(sing-song) Nobody? Mr. Nobody, are you there?

What?

Yah!

No! Too much too soon! Get off!

Or what? You're nothing!

- You're not there! Guilt-free, me! Ho ho!

- No, I'm here! Read my lips! Feel me!

- Ohh, I feel nothing!

Wonderfully big nothing!

- It's like you're not really there-e-e-e-e!

- No no no, oh no, I am here!

- Oh-h-h-h-h-h-h!

- I'm soft, no, don't! No, ah ah ah-

- Ooooh. Oh. I-I- Oh... Oh...

- You're not there! Ha ha! Oh!

- Oh yes... Oh... Oh, oh yes! - Whoa! Oh! Oh!

- See me! See me! Feel- (chuckles) - Oh! Oh! Oh!

- Oh, look at my- never mind. - Whoa!

- Oh yes. Oh, oh s- oh yes. - Ahh! Whoa! Oh!

- Ahh! Ahh! put your- Look into my-

- Hoo hoo hoo! Ohhh, yes. - Woo hoo hoo, ooh, ooh, ooh!