Original subtitles

Please just let me go.

let me go.

They're not getting out!

Why are you doing this?

No, no, no, no,

no.

I can't

believe we've never seen scary clowns go wild.

I can't believe how great the effects are.

They almost look real..

No, no, no, no, no.

No.

I can't believe.

I can't believe how great the effects are.

We're watching actual clowns kill actual people.

I feel like that would be illegal.

That's because it is illegal.

I mean, you've heard of snuff films, haven't you?

This is a snuff series.

I don't know.

That brain matter looks a lot like cottage cheese and strawberry syrup.

Do you want to watch another?

Nah, I've got to be up early tomorrow.

I'm going to head back home.

See you guys guys again this weekend?

Yeah, maybe we'll watch some more scary clouds.

Sounds good.

See you later.

More clouds next time.

Oh, something, kid.

Barry?

That better be you or Arthur.

Oh, hell no.

Oh sorry I just couldn't pass up this perfect opportunity.

How did you put Jesus out of me?

I'm sorry, I just couldn't pass up this perfect opportunity.

How'd you move so fast, did you teleport?

No, Barry's wearing the same costume.

He's around here somewhere.

Where are you at?

You have to absorb some of this wrath.

You have to absorb some of this wrath.

Berry, is that you?

That's not Berry.

Okay, this joke is officially old now.

Quit messing around.

No, really.

Berry is dressed like me, and he didn't grow an extra two feet last I saw.

Oh, what the hell you want Diesel?

Oh, what the hell you want, Diesel?

Can't you see I'm digging in the dirt?

Trying to stay away from dipshids like you.

Oh, quit your bitching.

I'm just going to invite you over to have a beer.

Drink your own damn beer by your own damn self.

I got better things to do than sit across from the likes of your crazy ass.

Fine, I didn't want to drink with you anyway.

Hell, the only reason why I came over is my wife.

She wanted me to.

I'm going to tell her what you said.

Oh, yeah?

Well, that's to be expected.

You're a shitty neighbor anyway, Diesel.

Diesel, so getting the hell out of my life, piece of crap, asshole.

Wait.

Lizard people.

That's not a metaphor for certain people, isn't?

No, I'm not talking about the Danes, you maniac.

Talking about literal lizard people from other dimensions and shit.

infiltrating our government.

They've got bases on the moon, underneath the earth's crust.

I got videos on this shit.

Oh, that reminds me, I've got something for you.

Uh-oh, do I want to know?

You're going to love this.

Um, I should probably get going soon.

That's it.

Here we are.

Look at that.

What the hell is that?

Yeah.

You watch these and everything I'm saying starts to make sense.

Little house on the prairie.

The messages are embedded in the episodes and the themes of the shows.

This is how the good guys get their messages to the resistance.

Sorry man, I don't have a VCR.

Plus, I'm more of a Walton's man myself.

The Waltons, the Waltons are a Communist Manifesto.

You're a lost cause, Everett.

Wow.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, little girl, want some candy?

Candy, yay, I love candy, candy, candy, candy, I don't have any candy how about how about I kidnap you and put you

in a little cage Yay Kages put me in the cage Kages Kages put me in a cave Just wait for yep and get the fucking car!

Oh, you know, something, I'm going to find a college green.

Hey, Everett, look what I got.

What the hell, man?

It's a VCR.

Can't you take a hit?

I don't want you come around here breathing my air.

I got an idea.

Why don't you grow some grass on this dirt lawn ears?.

Oh yeah?

Well, you better take your ass home and eat some

weedings before I kick your ass all over this dirt lord.

What you need to do is take the next six months and work

out of them skinny-ass little arms of yours, you jerk off.

Why the hell you follow me man?

This ain't your damn house.

Get the fuck out of here.

Oh yeah, I forgot.

Mine's the one with a grass on the front lawn.

Which are you turnip-head looking jackass?

Oh yeah, I forgot.

H.R.

puff of stuff called and wants his track suit back.

Jackass.

Uh-oh.

He's running out of gas, folks.

Ha.

You called me turnip looking.

You ran out of gas a long time ago.

Prick.

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah.

Check it.

What kind of neighborhood is this?

Hey man, I ain't never seen these people before in my life.

Man, I feel like I'm being assaulted from all sides.

Oh yeah, how do you think I feel?

I got clouds moving in all around me.

Really?

Sorry man, I didn't mean you, you're not a clown at all.

I thought we were friends.

Come on, man, we are friends.

Let's go get a beer.

You've been to share as yet.

They remodel the place.

You can kiss my ass.

I never want to hear from you or speak to you ever again.

Come

on, just watch the video, watch it!

Look, I guarantee you if you watch this video that I'm emailing you right now, and all

these other ones that I'm sending you, you'll see what's being done to our country.

Well, how about this, I'm just watch this.

I'm just watch the video, I'm just watch the video.

that said Bigfoot was behind the assassination of John F.

Kennedy.

Now what do you think about that?

I saw that video!

That's bullshit!

All right.

You should have a bunch of videos in your inbox right now.

I expect you to watch every one of them.

Yeah sure I'm all over that.

You could believe it.

That's right.

I want a full report.

I guess I got homework now.

According to you, live from the West Delta District in Dumpwater,

Florida, where a third woman has gone missing in the area.

Residents are now expressing concern that

there may be a predator living amongst them.

But the question on everyone's mind tonight is who?

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

What, reptilions?

No, our new neighbor.

Don't you think the ratty clown across the street is a little bit too on the nose?

See, there you go again, looking for greys when clearly everything is black and white.

He just misunderstood.

He might as well just be wearing a sign that says guilty.

I'm just seeing.

You better have some solid evidence before you go

around burning up witches and clowns such I hate you!

It sure never born!

Damn, that's harsh!

Will you be my friend?

Uh, sure little guy, what's your name?

My name's movie.

Want to play with me?

Well, it depends.

What do you want to play?

Let's play Chase.

Oh, I don't know about that.

I just got comfortable.

I love you.

I love you.

You don't even know me.

I like you wages.

But it's not chasing me through this you flound shit.

Bumpie.

Surprise.

First of all, what do you mean we?

I'm not breaking in that man's house.

I don't care if he is a murderous clown or not, especially if he's a murderous clown.

I should have expected this kind of response from a Walton's fan, communist.

Oh really?

So breaking an interim, it's more like a little house on the prairie thing?

That clown is clearly up to something.

Kidnapping, murder, torture, torture.

And only we can stop it.

Innocent people are going to die.

And it's going to be all your fault.

Hey man, I support you in your endeavors.

But I just like to do it from afar.

Ooh, they're leaving.

You got your cell phone on you?

Yeah, why?

Call me if you see them coming up the street.

Don't do it, man.

See, this is what's missing from you today.

initiative.

Dude, why are you talking so loud?

You're supposed to be sneaking.

Entitled.

That's what they are.

You're doing great, Diesel.

You're doing great, Diesel.

You don't look suspicious at all.

Oh, crap!

What?

What's wrong?

I forgot to brush my teeth.

Who cares?

Brush them when we get home.

I care!

I'm a role model of the children everywhere.

And I'm an ambassador to impeccable dental hygiene of the highest order.

Do whatever you want.

We're going to be late though.

I'm sorry.

I just can't let this slide., do whatever you want to do.

Oh,

what do we have here?

Oh, what do we have here?

Holy

shit, what the hell?

Oh?

Yeah.

man.

A darn battery tied on my phone, so I thought I'd come and get you, man.

Did you come through the window?

No, the back door was open, I walked right in.

Oh.

Is that a bazooka?

No.

It's a rocket-propelled grenade launcher launcher.

You know?

RPG?

Oh, yeah, he's got a whole armory in here.

Rocket-propelled shit, and fucking machine guns

and grenades and all kinds of fucking shit.

I'm going to keep this one.

Fck him.

Yeah.

He's definitely going to notice his bazooker missing.

RPG, damn it.

Whatever, Diesel.

We're going to blow some shit out.

man.

Hell, I can't find any.

But he is guilty though.

I'm not letting him off the hook.

Oh, shit, man, let's get out of here.

Fuck out.

Let's move on.

Oh, no.

Looks like the neighbor's cat goes again.

Yeah.

Somebody's cat, for sure.

would be good.

but I mean dogs just as messy as cute.

The computer.

Definitely I can be a dog.

The dog definitely would be better.

Do I get a small dog or a big dog?

They're still both messy though.

Like big dog, I can carry a little dog.

That'd be kind of cool.

little, but a dog, a cat, but a dog.

Maybe a bird?

Nah, dog.

What about a little dog?

Snappy, is everything all right?

We'll just make a big circle, cross the street under the bridge, make another arc through the woods, behind our houses, and

voila, we'll just make a big circle, across the street, under the bridge,

make another arc, through the woods, behind our houses, and voila, we're back.

She should probably try whispering.

I am.

I mean, I am whispering.

What happened?

Is she okay?

Too hard who the hell.

She fell asleep.

Gee, uh, she fell asleep.

Gotta stay hydrated.

Gotta stay hydrated.

Hey, I think you're up to something.

What's with the hammer?

There's blood on that hammer.

And there's blood on her face.

What I'm saying is there might be an infinite number of parallel universes.

You ever heard of quantum entanglement?

No.

If atomic particles can be entangled, then who's to say a

mind can't be entangled with the mind in a parallel universe?

If atomic particles can be entangled with a mind in a parallel universe?

No, sounds a little far-fetched.

Far-fetched, but you're fine with the idea

of reptilian overlords from another universe.

Yeah, but reptilian's real.

Hell, the evidence is all around us.

Really?

Yeah, on YouTube.

And the little house tapes, too.

Have you been watching any of those?

I think I accidentally tape the episode of Star Trek on one of those.

Oh, great.

That's it.

Just walk all over my perfectly manicured concrete.

Hey neighbor, nice to meet you.

You want a beer?

Hey neighbor, nice to meet you, you want a beer?

No, no, no.

Hey, don't get one of those shitty ones.

That's okay.

I don't drink.

Oh, okay.

Maybe I could go in and get up a saucer or milk.

You mean besides a clown living across the street?

Well, somebody broke into our house yesterday.

I know you two are out here getting your drink on.

Maybe you saw something?

Uh-uh.

No, no.

I didn't see anything.

I didn't see anything.

No, no, no.

I didn't see anything.

I didn't see anything.

Sorry.

I see.

Well, you gentlemen have a good day then.

Yeah, you too, Clown?

Yeah.

See you.

Yeah.

Let's see you walking away.

Yeah.

Yeah.

See you later.

He didn't tell us what was stolen.

Oh, well.

Who cares?

He can't prove anything.

Oh yeah, that's it.

That's right.

That's how you do it.

Is it?

Oh, come on, again!

Careful, Grumpy the Clown might hear you.

Don't be the Clown.

No, Grumpy the Clown.

Haven't you heard of him before?

Obviously not.

Fill me in.

He's the psychopathic Clown that goes around killing Addis and Cambers like us.

He uses a giant meat lever to bash their heads in.

At this camp site?

Yes, this very one.

You know there are other campsites who could have gone to.

Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure it's just an urban legend.

Besides, no self-respecting clown is going

to go around killing people in this humidity.

What was that?

What do you think it was?

I'll go check it out.

I'll go check it out.

What do I do if I run into Dumpy?

It's grumpy.

and nothing.

You'll probably just die.

Thanks for the vote of confidence.

What the?

Right.

Right.

Right.

Quit messing around.

Oh, come on.

There's Johnny!

Oh, God!

That's the face!

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Boy, you're an asshole!

Cheaper, creepers, man, I was actually freaking out.

Ah, it was just a deer.

Would you believe it?

This place is filled with animals.

Of course, it's a campground.

What, whoa?

my bizuka.

It's an R.G.

And it's not yours.

You know, this is a terrible idea.

What if kids dig this up?

You're going to blow themselves to pieces.

It's going to be all your fault.

I highly doubt any kids are going to find this way out here, let alone dig it up.

Well, I hope you're happy.

Goodbye, my friend.

It's the right thing to do man.

Trust me, you.

Oh!

Heh.

Is that a bazooka?

Nah, it's an RPG, rocket-propelled grenade launcher grenade launcherger.

Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?

If you're thinking, let's go get some shovels and dig that open, yeah.

Get up on your feet, folks, it's time for the Andalila show with

today's guest, best-selling author and psychic Olga Sparkle.

The ether is clearing.

I'm getting a vision.

Do you see Janet's daughter?

The ether is clearing.

I'm getting a vision.

Do you see my daughter?

Your daughter is dead.

Drowned in a creek.

Buried shallow grave.

The killer?

The killer?

What I know?

The killer?

From Denmark.

hard at work on the case, but Leeds remain elusive.

They need to figure out what the hell's going on here.

There's obviously someone taking our girls.

There's bound to be someone in the community that fits the profile.

Figure it out.

My apologies, we have a breaking news report.

Thank you for joining us.

I'm standing before you to report that we have a new lead in

the ongoing multiple missing person's case here in dump water.

We have received a letter from the alleged kidnapper.

He has confessed in his letter and also he knows details about

his victims that he has led us to believe he is telling the truth.

He calls himself the clown.

The clown?

You know I did have my suspicions all along, but I just wanted to make

sure we had the evidence to really put this joke or a way for good.

Ah, evidence.

Yeah, but do be do.

He had a bizuka.

I know, and if I'm being honest, I knew he was a

serial kill him from the first time he moved in.

I got a six sense about these things, man.

You know that.

We could call in an anonymous tip, but that would just get him a visit from the police.

And you know they're not going to do nothing, man.

These guys are idiots.

That's right.

Every clown in town is getting a visit tomorrow.

I guarantee you.

cops ain't going to know what to do.

Any one of them can be a suspect.

It's all in our hands.

We're the only hands.

But what the hell are we supposed to do about it, man?

Beat a confession out of them or something?

Dude, you are psychic.

It's like you can hear my thoughts.

I'm not doing it, man.

Come on man, there's an evil in this world.

We've got to beat a confession out of it.

So you can kiss my ass, I'm done.

Hey, I like that.

We're superheroes!

Yeah, we're superheroes!

Yeah!

H we're superheroes!

No, I'm done, Diesel.

I'm done with you.

I'm done with your shenanigans, I'm done with

little house on the prayers so you can just shut it.

Freeze, clown!

I got you right between my eyes.

You meat, tenderizer-wielding clown!

Don't move!

That's right, you move once!

I shoot twice!

Think you're funny?

Things just got real So fucking serious, didn't they?

The meat generation was moving.

Don't move, motherfucker.

That's right.

Give me an excuse to shoot.

What excuse?

Don't move.

Move, damn it.

You stay right there.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, steady.

Steady.

Don't, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't move.

with me.

Really?

How?

Oh yeah, I guess we haven't, have we?

Actually, I feel we've gotten off on the right foot.

Unless something happened that I don't know about.

No, no, you're right.

I don't know why I said that.

But we found that thing you're looking for.

That thing I was looking for?

That thing I was looking for?

Yeah, that I was going to hire a P. I was going to hire a p.

In fact, come follow me.

Amazing.

What a coincidence?

I wonder how it wound up there.

Yeah, yeah, we found it in a doctor and we thought,

hey, that might be that thing you're looking for.

Wow, that's great.

I'm so happy to have neighbors like you look out for me.

Hey, you know, that's what neighbors are for, you know, kind of nice guys.

Oh shit right this way right this way.

Right this way.

Wow, Diesel's got a lot of stuff.

He should really think about having a garage sale.

In fact, I can help with that.

I love garage sales.

Hey, listen, you guys aren't gonna whack me, are you?

No, no, nothing like that.

You've seen good fellas, right?

You've seen good fellas, right?

The town.

Come on.

You guys, good.

Hey, come on, where are we doing?

Come on.

I didn't take this trip.

I'm not going.

Get the fuck ahead.

Yeah, you are.

What are you guys doing?

Why don't you go play?

Why are you guys wearing masks?

Never mind why we wear a mask.

These masks are going to be the least of your problems.

Clown?

Snappy?

Hey, if this is about the grenade launcher launch you, hey, you can keep it.

My gift to you.

This ain't about no grenade launcher, clown.

This is about your extracurricular activities.

You're going to have to help me out here.

I really don't know what you're talking about.

What the fuck?

Don't play dumb with us, pal.

We know what you've been up to.

I don't know what you guys are talking about.

I'm just a simple party clown, living a clown's life, I living my best clown

like, yeah, that's a clown, with a closet full of military-grade weapons.

Um, it's Florida.

He does have a point there..

We know about the girls.

You want to make this easy?

Tell us where they are and this is now.

Well, don't look at me.

I'm not the voice of reason.

Look, I really don't know what you're talking about.

Wrong answer.

Please, please stop hitting me.

Please, I don't know anything about eating girls.

I'm just a normal clown with a normal house.

and a normal wife.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

O ha!

Whoo!

You got the wrong guy!

How can I make you understand?

You ain't gonna make us do anything!

You ain't gonna make us do anything!

You're gonna tell us the truth!

You're gonna tell us the truth!

the truth.

I don't know I'm innocent welcome me I don't think I don't think this is going to work you're not getting cold feet are you we don't open Pandora's box

you know breaking laws and shit no no that's not what I'm talking about I had some wrestling moves I want to try on here You see I knew you had it in you.

You're a Tiger Everett.

You don't have to ask me for permission bad.

Go to it.

Okay, let's get him off.

Okay, let's get him off.

Okay, let's get him off.

All right, all right.

You ready to talk?

Well, shit, he's out cold.

Wake up, Snappy.

I don't like him up.

Now forget it man.

He'll come around.

Let's go get a beer.

I'm with you.

Do you see the killer?

Do you see his victims?

Come up, go go go.

Allow me to convene with the ether.

I'm having a vision.

I see a clown and I smell funnel cake and he's...

And he works at the thrackers.

He's feeding something, he's feeding something tigers.

Oh, he's feeding something tigers.

body parts of young women.

Oh no!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, deal now.

What a bunch of crap, we know where that

clown is and he ain't at no circus, neither.

She's just making shit up on the fly.

They should have come to you with that six sense of yours.

You can laugh all you want, man.

But I get a feeling sometimes.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

right now.

Probably some stupid lizard people shit.

See you are psychic.

Now give me some lening lotto numbers.

Okay, okay, I'm going to do this one time.

How about right?

It's down now.

Eight, six, seven, five, three, oh nine.

This is Clarice Santiago reporting to you from the Dumpwater County Jail, where

Sheriff Frozky is about to issue a press briefing regarding the recent kidnappings.

Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.

Approximately 1030 this evening, dump water police officers arrested a clown

by the name of Dwayne Rumpelskin, aka Rumpie the Clown in a sting operation.

Mr. Rumpelskin has yet to reveal the location and status

of his victims, Rumpi the clown in a sting operation.

Mr. Rumpelskin has yet to reveal the location and status of his victims.

But I assure you that we at the Dumpwater Sheriff's Office will

do everything in our power to return your loved ones to safety.

I think I may have killed his ass with that elbow drop man.

Why the hell did you stop me, Diesel?

I can't go to jail.

What do you mean stop you?

You're the voice of reason.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

No.

Oh, no.

Come on, clown, wake up.

Easy Everett.

Let me check his pulse.

Yeah, you do that.

I'm not getting anything.

I think he's dead.

What do you mean, dead?

Did you do it, right?

Wake up, Snappy!

Snappy!

Wake up!

Wake up!

I can't believe I killed an innocent clown!

Snappy!

Well, I don't know about innocent.

He must have done something.

I gotta confess.

Sure.

You can tell me anything.

No, not to you, to the cops.

The hell you will, I'll bury you right next to him.

How can you say that?

I thought we were friends.

Hey, this is where we both make up stories that match.

In case anybody comes around, we need an alibi.

But the guilt!

Don't you try me.

I'll put an end to you right now.

Nappy, you're alive!

You're both.

Idi, idiots.

You both have crossed a lot of lines.

And you're going to jail for a real long time.

Art, art works.

He's right.

We gotta kill him.

No, no, it's okay.

You pose gold.

I won't tell anybody.

Crush my heart.

Hope to die.

Well, not really.

Look, what do you say?

We take Snappy to a swamp, take him as far back in the woods as we can.

and let nature take its course.

Right.

As I said before, folks, the voice the reason.

the voice the reason.

I

don't know what you're talking about, Diesel.

It's just a family trying to stick together to living through a depression.

John Boy is right in the book.

See, communist.

Just a bunch of goddamn hippies.

Yeah, well Little House was just a bunch of reworked Bonanza scripts.

See, you're starting to get it.

Yeah.

Get what?

Who played the patriarch of the cart rights on Bonanza?

Lauren Green?

Correct.

And who played the commander on the Battle Star Galactica?

I just can't wait to see where you going with this man.

Lauren Green.

And who was the Battle Star Galactica at war with??

The silons?

Right again.

And who are the silons?

A bunch of robots?

No.

The robots were just soldiers, created by an extinct race of, wait for it?

Reptilions?

Reptilions!

You can't

get out of this.

Hey, come on.

Come on, come on.

Group on me too.

You're going to pay for this.

Oh, man, uh...

Hey, come on, you two, come on.

Hey, come on, you two, come on.

Come on, what are you going to do to me?

I mean, come on.

I mean, come on, nothing, snappy.

We're just going to drive off and leave you to your own devices.

My own devices, what the hell is that supposed to me?

We're 20 miles from anywhere.

I can't find my way out of this place.

Not with that attitude, Stappy.

You're not ready to get out here, brother.

Yeah, let's hit it.

Take me with you.

Yeah, I'm going to make you a life lesson.

That's you.

I don't know, man.

I

don't know, man.

Everything feels different today.

I know, man.

All the adrenaline wore off.

Start to feel guilty.

It's really getting to me.

Yeah, me too.

There's no way he's going to survive that big swamp, man.

We've got to find some kind of way to tell his

wife, you know, bring some closure to this.

Oh hell, the world's full of clowns.

She'll find another one.

Yeah, I don't know man.

I think we really cross the line on this one.

Oh, we definitely cross the line.

How about this?

We drink a couple more beers and then we'll go look for them.

Yeah, let's do that.

A couple more beers.

Maybe even three.

The voice of reason, folks, he has spoken.

Uh-oh.

They must have found his body.

Oh man, probably come to tell the bad news.

His poor wife.

Oh, man.

How about that?

The goofy clowns pulled it off.

Think it's lucky stars, man.

Crazy clowns got now alive.

You're a danger to society.

They kidnap me.

They beat me.

Snappy, you a crazy clown!

Haza!

Yeah, Stappy, where you go, Bud.

I knew you had it in you.

Ha ha ha ha!

I understand that we're standing there.

Now come over there, no rest there.

All right, all right, just no time.

I'll talk to.

Uh-oh, look casual.

We got to get our story straight.

we were out surfing all day yesterday.

I ain't never been surfing before in my life, man.

Yeah, you don't have to, dumb ass, it's called lying.

Okay, whatever, we were surfing all day.

Well, afternoon, officer.

Clown over there says you hit him.

What?

No, he's a fucking liar.

Yeah, he says that you beat him up real bad,

dropped him off in a swamp, wring any bells..

no, officer, we didn't do that.

Hmm, not us.

You must have us mixed up with somebody else or something.

That was not us.

Clown's full of shit.

He was always making stuff up.

I tried to say we stole this bazooker the other day.

The man's got a screw loose if you asked me.

Hey, believe it or not, that clown get up.

It's probably the most normal thing about him.

riot.

You guys figure this shit out amongst yourselves.

And stay out of trouble.

Hey officer, see you later.

Yeah, good luck with your donut riot.

You ever need any backup.

Give us a holler.

We got to go.

We got to go.

Are you kidding me?

Those guys trying to kill me.

Your name?

Oh, but.

Oh shit.

He's coming over here.

Don't look, don't look this.

Hey, good news.

We left the last one just for you.

Hey, and it's a good one too.

Enjoy.

Yeah, there you go, buddy.

Yeah, good to see you again.

All right, all right.

I think we can let that one slide.

Yeah.

Okay, I guess this makes us even then.

What the hell is this problem?

I don't know man, I got no idea.

The guy, you just must be uptight or something.

I don't know.

Let's play the Florida Tri-County Lottery.

Today's jackpot is three million dollars, and the

winning numbers are eight, six, seven, five, five.

3.

Oh 9.

Thanks for playing with us.

We'll see you next time.

Hey, what were the numbers you said the other day?

Uh, I don't know, man.

I can't remember anything anymore.

Well, I guess it doesn't matter.

I got better luck and being struck by lightning.

Yeah, you can't win with that shit.

It's all controlled by the same shadow companies anyway.

Yeah, you're right.

You're right.

I mean, it's not as if I'm a conspiracy theorist or anyway, I'm just saying.

It's all rigged anyway, man.

Not just a lottery.

Life itself.

They don't want us to win.

Nope.

They're feeding off our suffering.

We're like batteries..

We're like batteries like that movie with piano Reeves what what you know you know the matrix no Bill

and Ted's bogus journey what well here's to fight and not being a barrier brother you're damn right she's

There's a lot of clowns in here.

Yeah, you're right.

Must be some kind of theme night or something.

Hey, Bozo, nice hair.

Let me ask you ask this goddamn man.

Gee, gee!

Who the fuck are you?

Give me out here right now!

Let me out!

God-a-dam it!

Oh!

Big man speaks the truth, and I second this statement.

You're all poo, bruise and we're just to give it to give it to you!

out of this shit.

What?

You're the one who ordered all those shots, man.

I was just going along for the ride.

Well, well, if it isn't my lovely neighbors ever diesel.

Snappy, what the hell, man?

Yeah, I thought we worked this out, you know, part on good terms.

Oh, I don't know.

I have to get in the crap beat out of me.

Left for dead in a swamp.

Maybe I'm feeling a little... Benchful.

Hey, we thought you were a sero-killing clown.

You know, it was an honest mistake.

Wait a second.

You're not a serial clowns.

Have you two ever heard of a series called Scary Clowns Go Wild?

Oh man, I love that show.

Did you ever see that episode where the girl gets tenderized?

What?

Well then, this is your lucky day.

Because you're both about to hear him, Scary Clowns Go Wild 18.

Diesel and Everett get eviscerated.

Wait a minute.

You are a serial killer clown.

Ah, you must be the brains of the operation.

Hey, man, we're going to be on scary clowns, go wild.

Wait a second, how much would we get paid for this shit?

But what about the clown they caught?

Grumpy, he confessed to everything.

Oh, he is a member of our syndicate that got sloppy.

Luckily, all our clowns go through an intense conditioning

program in order to resist interrogation if the need arises.

So no.

He won't be revealing our location and no one is coming to help you.

We didn't ask if he was.

What's this you try to hypnotize us now?

No, it ain't going to work on me.

I can't be hypnotized.

Me neither.

Why don't you unties to let us go?

We won't say nothing about your little operation here.

dollars.

You can, uh, I don't know.

Sure.

But, you know something, for now?

Why don't you both just stare into the spiral.

We just told you this shit don't work on us.

The mere sight of a clown triggers a deep anxiety within you.

The mere sight of a clown triggers a deep anxiety within you.

Within me.

come from.

Diesel, they got you.

You're not afraid of clowns.

Pull back, pull back.

I don't know, man.

Feeling pretty freaked out right now.

Everett, think of your greatest fear, the scariest thing from your childhood.

The mailman, I was always terrified of the mailman.

The mailman.

The mailman?

The mailman.

I don't know.

He always brought bad news.

And at the wild a mere sight of him creep me out, man.

Hmm, interesting.

Okay, Everett, I want you to replace the image of the mailman with a clown.

No, no, stay away.

Get away from me, man, get away, get off me.

See?

That's what I was trying to tell you, man.

They're fucking everywhere.

Excellent.

Sleep.

What is happening?

Whoa!

Oh,

oh, and mirrors!

Run!

Hoh!

I see them all over!

Oh, run!

Oh, run!

Holy shit, man!

look at this!

Oh, Jack!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Bring on those clouds, man!

Bring all!

Get that!

Whoa!

Everett!

What the hell are you doing?

Look at that, man, man!

Look at that man, man!

Oh man!

Yeah, fucking huge man, man!

Just my packs, man!

Oh,

hey, get the chains on!

Yeah, no, get up!

Yeah, no, get on!

You can't get it!

You get it!

Hey little ass!

Give me one of those machetes!

Yeah, ha ha!

I hate them!

Oh, shit!

Come on!

Damn it!

The tree!

The tree!

Load your shit up, one, two, three!

Ha ha ha!

No, no,

no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, cookie!

They're gourne,

not dead, they at least have life-changing injuries.

It's up to you now.

You got to show us what you got.

I'll let you down sir What?

Over here!

Please help us!

Please help us!

Look, lady, give us a moment!

Been through very dramatic experience today!

You've been through a traumatic experience!

We're like a-Kaye, couldn't get out of here!

Let me out and I'll show you what promise.

Yeah, trust me.

We've seen some shit you wouldn't believe today.

But I think we'll be alright though.

Hey, let me out, they bought it in you!

Please, please!

Uh, what do you want?

Uh, I really have to use the bathroom.

I'm going to need a couple of days off after this.

Hey, Deco, I found the keys.

Uh, get over here.

Oh, shit.

I'm going to need a couple of days off after this.

after this.

You know, listen to some onion, shit.

I know what you're talking about, man.

I know what you're talking about, man.

After this, I need to take a walk or something, you

know, and commune with nature, take in some fresh air.

The Dumpwater Sheriff's Department.

Sheriff Rotsky himself.

Get down on the ground.

Let me see your hands where I can see them.

officers, do your duty.

Go get up.

Okay now, how the fuck are we going to get out of this place?

I got you man.

And I need a coffee with two sugars and plenty of whipped cream to align my...

aside I see I see you shinny warehouse a warehouse I see the victim they're okay the victims are okay and I see Zelda she's alive she's alive she's alive and

I see clouds and I see them I see Zelda she's alive she's alive and I see clouds and I see them dined there clowny air with cooling using toothpaste as makeup.

I see communal showers.

I see them in jail.

They're going to jail.

Oh, God, they draft the soap and oh, there's just so much cock.

There's just so much cock.

There's just so much cock.

There's just so much cock.

been uncovered involving a murderous group of

clowns and a DVD series called Scary Clowns Go Wild.

Earlier today suspect Grumpy the Clown revealed the location of the Clown

Killhouse in exchange for a strawberry milkshake and a pack of runs for it guys.

They're on to us!

Oh shit!

Snappy's making a run for it!

You weren't kidding when you said he had nine lives.

I think he used up eight of them since he's known us.

He's about overdue for his come up and that's for sure.

You'll never catch me.

The clowns is forever!

One clown nose and two will grow back in his waist.

Heh.

Heh.

Get him, Jeff.

Come on Jeff, shoot him.

Oh shit.

It appears that a rocket!

That's...

Gosh!

Damn it!

I have got it with this fucked up country-ass town.

Shit in my mouth!

I can't see.

Get the fuck out of here, here, let's get the fuck out of here guys.

What are you doing tomorrow, big guys?

Well, you know, same old shit, drinking beer, pointing fingers.

How about you?

You know?

Well, I think I'm going to break down and watch a little house on the prairie.

I've been thinking about what you said.

What did I say?

Well, it's not what you said.

It's what you implied with that sarcastic tone of yours.

Why, I didn't know you had the ability to detect sarcasm.

Oh, I do.

I just choose to ignore your dumb ass.

All right, Dan.

What did I imply?

All this interdimensional lizard shit.

Just a bunch of bullshit.

I think we just get dissatisfied with life.

And it's easier to blame others for our own failure.

You know, to take chances, live our lives to the fullest.

Man, I don't know why I put up with this shit.

I'm just kidding, man.

They're building bases under the earth's crust sucking our souls.

Yeah, we're fighting evil, man.

Yeah, fighting evil, man.

That's us.

The dynamic duo.

Fighting evil.

Yeah,

let's see how you look.

You didn't even try.

Mirror!

Mirror!!!!

Mirror!

Give me the damn mirror!

What the fuck is that?

What have you done?

What have you done?

Right!

I tried on this!

Yes!

No!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Oh!

Oh, it's time we got a button, killing clowns and kill for fun.

With the jains on on a gun.

Yes, the end is coming there.

takes on a chair.

One more years than me with you, my dear Scary Clowns, going wild.

Going wild, aren't you?

Say it's all just a myth.

But I know it's all true.

going wild.

On you, they say it's all just a myth.

But I know, I know it's all true.

Scary clown's gone wild.

Say it's all just a myth.

I know it's all true.

Scary clown's gone wild.

out there.

You know what you did.

Some of it was legal.

Most of it was not.

But who am I at judge?

Give yourselves a hand.

I love you.

With your swimming pool too.