Original subtitles

i see trees of green red roses too

i see them blue for me and you

and i think to myself what a

wonderful world

i see

skies of blue

And clouds of white, the bright blessed day, the

dark sacred night.

And I think to myself, what a wonderful

world.

The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky.

Also on the faces of people going by, I

see friends shaking hands, saying how do you do?

They're really saying.

Hi, sis.

What's happened?

What do you mean what's happened? What, something bad's gotta happen for me to

come and visit my big sister?

Oh, I'm sorry. You know, I just haven't heard from you or seen you in over a

year, but... So, how have you been? What's going on? How are those kids of

yours? You want to ask me in?

Oh, where was I raised? Please, just come on, come on, come on.

Nice rollers.

You got a date tonight?

Yeah, as a matter of fact.

Two. First date.

Blind date, I believe is what they call it.

So, what can I do for you?

Why don't we just pretend that we get along?

Okay. You go first.

Look, Barbara, I know you don't like me, but the least you can do is try to be

civil. Why should I be civil?

The only time I ever hear from you or see you is when you want something. I

don't want to actually be civil.

Because you're my sister.

Oh, yeah? I don't think that's a good enough reason.

What do you want?

I need you to do a favor for me.

Oh. Oh, and here I thought that you'd just come by, say hi, see how I was.

Look, we can be fighting for the next 30 years like we've been fighting for the

last 30 years. I don't think you or I have the energy to do it. No, I don't.

What do you want?

I just need you to watch the kids for a couple hours. I can't.

Barbara, you're the only person I can turn to.

Well, that's not my fault.

You know, it isn't fair for you to come after me and ask me to babysit your kids

just because you have burnt every bridge in your life.

Oh, oh, I forgot. Your life is perfect.

Oh, you want to go at it? I can go at it. I can recite chapter and verse on

you. You are petty.

Well, I guess it's just a family trait.

Well, I... I can see that blood has no bearing in this case.

Thanks for your help.

Bye bye.

Hi

Aunt

Barbara.

Oh my god.

What the hell are you doing here?

You're supposed to babysit us.

Back by ten. Love, Ruth.

Great.

Right. Hi.

We've had a tiny snag. This is my niece and nephew, and they're going to be

joining us this evening. I hope you don't mind.

Thanks. Come on, kids.

What's that?

It's a sushi.

What's sushi?

It's raw fish.

But you can't eat it.

Don't eat it.

Why?

Why don't you try it? Maybe you'll like it.

Why?

Don't they cook anything here?

Uh, yes, Matt. They cook things here. I guess fish is out of the question. How

about beef or chicken?

Beef. Me, too.

Waiter.

Two beef teriyaki. Yes, sir.

What's teriyaki? What's teriyaki?

Uh, it's the marinade that they put the beef into.

What's marinade?

That hurt.

It's really good, I promise.

Um, can I go to the bathroom?

Would you like Brian to go with you?

I'm 10. I've been doing this for a while.

Sorry, I haven't.

So, Megan, how old are you?

Didn't you just have a birthday, Megan?

Well, maybe after dinner, we can all go get some ice cream.

Would you like that?

Megan, Brian just asked you a question. It's rude not to answer someone who's

asked you a question.

Oh, I forgot to tell you.

Megan won't talk unless I'm here. Oh, yeah? Why is that?

She's weird.

Does she always do that?

Yep.

Oh. Oh.

Can I have a non-alcoholic beer?

No.

Oh, now, doesn't that look good?

What's marinade?

This. This is marinade.

You know, I bet you're really gonna like this.

Huh?

You first.

Nice kids.

Yeah.

Well, maybe we can get together sometime next week.

Just the two of us.

I'll give you a call.

Well, that's that.

What are we going to do now?

Well, I guess we're just going to have to wait.

Until your mother gets here.

It's nearly 10 o'clock.

Just checking to see if it works.

Most people could take us for at least a day.

You didn't even make it two hours.

Oh, I'm just not very good with kids.

Why not?

I never had any of my own.

Why not?

I don't know.

Why not?

Because I don't want any, okay?

Why not?

Just shut up, Megan.

She's like a broken record sometimes.

You just have to ignore her.

Oh, that's pretty hard to do, isn't it?

No. You'll get good at it after a while.

Did your mother always run this late?

You tell me. You've known her longer than I have.

She's your mother.

She's a good mother, isn't she?

I don't know.

She's the only one I've had.

Well, I don't mean she's like Mother Teresa or anything, but she's good to

you, right?

I take the fifth.

I have to go to the bathroom.

So go.

Where is it?

Do I look like I live here?

Okay, come on, Megan.

I'll show you where the bathroom is. Come on.

Hello, Ruth.

Where are you? You said you'd be back by 10.

I have to go back.

It's okay, honey. I'll be with you in a minute.

Oh, hi, you.

Hi, you.

Fort Lauderdale?

Where did you get to Fort Lauderdale?

Oppies, I am aware there's mass transit all over the world, but I don't believe

you left those kids in the car.

You can't do that.

I just went in my pants.

Oh, God, Megan just peed in her pants.

Well, we were on the way to the bathroom when this crazy person called me up on

the phone.

Oh, yeah? What would you call someone who left their kids with a total

stranger? All right, a relative who's a total stranger.

When are you coming back?

No, look, soon. It's not good enough.

What am I supposed to do with these kids?

Ruth?

Hello? Okay.

Um, so, your mother is coming back tomorrow, and, uh, you'll stay here with

me tonight, and then tomorrow I'll take you to school.

Oh, um, kids don't go to school in the summer.

Oh, yeah? What do they do?

Terrorize adults.

I need new underpants.

Oh, well, I think mine would be just a little too big, so just put these into

woodlight. So, do you have any video games?

No. MTV?

Nope. Kind of a fun house. Yep, you might just say that.

Well, what are we going to do?

How about sleep?

Sleep would be good, wouldn't it? Huh?

Well, where are we going to sleep?

Uh, right in here, in my guest room.

There you go.

Now, bed for each of you.

Good night. Could you help us find the beds?

Right.

Okay.

Sarah, good night.

Can you tell me a story?

Sorry, I don't know any. I'll tell you a story.

Good morning.

Pretty empty fridge. Don't you eat?

Matt made some coffee. Want some?

Oh, that's nice.

I have to go to the bathroom.

That's pretty good.

I got something on my face.

Oh, I forgot.

When Matt's away, there's nothing to say, right?

Can you please stop staring at me?

So, did you guys have a good conversation?

Very funny.

Now, why does she do that? Why won't she talk unless you're around?

The only thing she knows.

If I'm not here, she won't talk.

Maybe that's your mother.

Don't count on it.

Damn it.

Well, glad to see you too.

Aren't we having breakfast?

Oh, sorry, I forgot. I thought you were Ruth.

Ruth? Your sister Ruth?

Yes. You hate her. Believe me, she shows up yesterday.

She brings her two kids.

She leaves them with me. They're here.

Children?

Yes.

Have you hurt them yet?

That's a terrible thing to say.

It's terrible, but you hate kids. Aren't you the one who said that animals that

eat their young had found a civilized form of birth control?

I guess it wasn't, dear old mom.

No, guess not.

This is my friend Sam.

Do you hate kids too?

Not as much as she does.

Want some coffee?

Coffee, yeah.

Gotta admit, I...

I kind of like this one. This is Matt. That's Megan.

Hey, well, thanks, Matt. Black, please.

Are you and Aunt Barbara married?

No, we're just friends.

What do you do?

I'm a painter.

Do you paint houses?

No, I paint pictures.

Do you have kids?

He's a poor guy alone.

No, it's okay, Matt.

At least when you're here, they stop asking me questions.

You know what?

How about if I take the kids for a walk or to the park or something like that so

you could take a shower and get a better attitude.

Come on, kids.

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Take all the time you want.

Oh, well, we'll be back for lunch, so surprise them.

Come on.

Last one to the door is... Rotten egg! Come on!

Oh, hi, Claudia. No, no.

I'm fine.

No, I'm just, uh, taking a personal day.

Yeah.

No, I'll be back tomorrow. No problem.

Call me here if you need me.

Thanks. Bye.

Hello?

Ruth, where are you?

Kennedy? Any way back?

London? When?

Oh, come... Ruth, you can't do that. Hello?

Hi. Hey.

Guess what?

What? We're all going to the airport.

Taxi! We're all going. Why are we going to the airport? Never mind. Come on.

Come on. Come on, kids. We're going to the airport.

Excuse me. Hello.

Why are you in the car?

Don't ask questions. Just get in the car.

Let go of me.

Hi, sweetie.

What are you doing? Why did you bring that in, Megan? Isn't this hard

enough? Isn't this hard enough? What are you talking about? I have to tell you

this, but these are your kids, and I'm giving them back to you. That was a

cruel move. What was a cruel move? You're the one who's being cruel. I

don't even know these kids. It's not that simple. Yes, it is. It is. What are

you doing? You're looking at your watch.

Look, Barbara, you're the only family I have left. No, no, no, I'm sorry. You

have a family, and they're standing right over there.

I met a guy, okay? He's incredible.

He loves me.

Maybe it's not love, love, but it's the closest I've ever got.

Look, what I'm trying to tell you is for the first time in my life, I have an

opportunity to do something with my life, to start over. Do you understand

that? No. Why do you begrudge me happiness? I don't begrudge you

happiness. You just leave a trail of broken hearts behind you.

Two of them belong to your children.

You can't keep doing this, Ruth. You have to take responsibility. I

understand that, Barbara, and that's why I'm doing what I have to do. What?

Don't walk away from me. Where are you going?

London. I'm going to London.

What about Matt and Megan?

I'm a lousy mother. I always have them. What's that got to do with anything?

They're children, they're not cats.

No, no, no.

Honey, honey, honey, please. Close me.

Don't worry about it. It's okay. It's okay. They're just going to talk for a

couple more minutes, and then you're good. You are not getting on that plane.

For the first time, I'm going to do something for myself.

You're the next of kin.

Oh, yes.

Please don't make a scene. I'm not making a scene. You're insane.

Let go.

I always knew you were crazy, but I never knew you were this crazy. Look,

Megan and Matt have been damaged enough by me. Isn't it time to stop? No.

You can't just cut your losses and run and say, well, I'm sorry.

I changed my mind. All game canceled on account of rain.

You had these kids.

They're yours.

Tell them I'm doing this because I love them.

You? You have never done anything out of love in your entire life. Let go, ma'am.

Let go.

The hell am I supposed to say to them? Kids, I'm sorry, but your mom quits. She

doesn't want to be your mother anymore. Nothing personal.

Oh, just be good little soldiers.

Hey, look on the bright side. You really will have a reason to go into therapy.

What are you going to do?

I don't know. I mean, I don't have a cat or a dog. I hate taking responsibility

for anything.

You're not a great parental choice, I agree.

What about their father?

Dead. Believe me, this is one time I wish I came from a bigger family. Look,

she'll be back.

Oh, and pigs fly, Sam.

I can't take these children. I'm terrible with children. Don't look at

me. This isn't like watering someone's plants for the weekend.

They're not mine.

I shouldn't have to do anything.

You got a little money in the bank.

You have a job at the museum where you can pretty much make your own hours.

You didn't take a leave of absence between shows. You really could take

them if you wanted to. I don't want to.

So you're going to make them wards of the state?

This is not fair.

My entire life is getting screwed up. There are two kids in there whose mother

just walked out of them and you are talking about yourself.

I don't know anything about children.

You're so smart. What do you do with them?

Books.

I don't know. There are hundreds of books on raising children. We'll read

books. Yeah, what do I do right now?

Just go talk to them.

I thought I had my eyes pulled out.

It's your compassion that draws me to you.

Can I come in?

It's your house. You can do whatever you want.

Um, we have to talk.

About what?

Oh, this is a nice bear.

Where did he come from? I don't think he belongs to me.

What do we need to talk about?

About your mother.

When is she coming to get us? She's not, Megan. Don't you get it? Oh, yes, she

will. Um, Megan, listen.

Sam's in the kitchen.

I bet he'd really like to see this bear, huh? Why don't you go in there and say

hi?

I know this is hard for you. I don't know anything about it.

Look, Matt, I... You don't have to be nice to me. I know you don't like us.

I like you.

Oh, yeah.

I understand how you feel. I understand that you're hurt.

We didn't get off to a great start, but you know we're gonna be stuck with each

other for a while, so why don't we just make the best of it?

Megan and I will leave in the morning.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

You have nowhere to go.

I'm not a baby. I can take care of me and my sister. I know you're not a baby,

but you're not exactly middle-aged crazy either.

We'll be fine.

Here's a for instance. Where are you gonna live in the park of the street

like everyone else ridiculous?

I'm trying to have a reasonable conversation with a ten-year-old You and

your sister will stay here and you'll do as I say understood I Didn't hear you

it's because I didn't answer you will do as I say or I'll tell my mother

How'd it go?

Not well.

Is Megan just talking to you?

Yeah.

But I thought she wouldn't talk unless Matt's in the room.

Well, she'll love to talk to Miss Piggy, no matter who's in the room.

Well, I have a painting I have to finish, so you're on your own, although

I would love to stay and watch.

Well, I guess it's just the two of us.

What do we do now, mon ami?

I'm Barbara Whitney, and this is my nephew, Matt, and my niece, Megan.

What can I do for you, Miss Whitney?

Well, I need to locate my sister, their mother.

Did she abandon him?

Okay, kids, outside.

Let's go. Come on, come on.

Come on, come on.

The children are a little sensitive to that word.

Sorry.

Tact, not being one of your strong points.

You got that right.

Sorry, tell me what you can and what you'd like me to do for you.

Right. My sister, Ruth, their mother, just up and goes to London.

She says she's a lousy mother and gets on a plane.

Leaving you with the kids?

Yes, forever.

So, I need you to locate her so I can give them back.

Come on.

Are you pretending you don't know us?

That'd be it.

You should be happy. We're going to find your mom.

I don't think she wants to be found.

That's stupid.

No, you're stupid.

Hey,

knock it off, please.

She started it. I don't care who started it. I'm finishing it. Get going.

I knew this was going to happen.

What am I supposed to do with this car? Just leave it here?

Yes.

Didn't you have these keys all along?

What were you waiting for? Someone to strip it and turn it into a planter?

Where'd you get these?

My mother.

Well, that would have been my first guess. Why?

She packed all of her stuff and I guess she had a reason.

You mean you knew that she was going to do this all along?

I guess.

Well, I guess that's where you got Mr. Bear, huh?

Yep.

I'm really sorry, Matt.

Oh, oh.

Who's the idiot that ordered anchovies?

Aunt Barb.

Why would a person take perfectly good pizza and then put smelly canned little

fish on top of it?

I have this feeling you want to talk. So the detective

that I hired, he's found Ruth.

So?

Why do you call her? She's still not going to come home. I'm not going to

call her.

You're not going to call her?

No, no.

What are you going to do? I'm going to take the kids and we're going to go to

London.

You can't be serious. Oh, I'm dead serious.

You're just going to go to London? Yeah, absolutely.

Absolutely. I mean, what's going to stop me? Do you have passports?

I'm going to shoot myself.

Just have a bite of this and do it much faster. Oh, you have no idea what my

week has been like.

I bought the Nintendo.

I've been to eight movies. I've never go to my entire life. I had three museums.

I mean, what's next?

Puppets? Why don't you try reading to them or talking to them or getting to

know them a little bit? What's it again to know? They're not people yet.

Well, that's a little narrow-minded even for you.

You've never really even known a kid, have you?

No.

I've been busy.

Yes!

It hasn't been a day that's gone by since Laura died that I haven't wished

we had a child.

Just try to see them a little.

I see that they're short.

Well, that's the last time I go to the bathroom when you're ordering pizza.

I can't believe how much they eat.

Did you and my mom ever like each other?

No.

So, do you have a job?

Why?

Well, my mom never has. I was just wondering if it runs in the family.

Matt, I wouldn't get into this if I were you. No, no, no, it's quite all right.

Yes, I do have a job. I work at the museum.

What do you do there?

Lots of things.

Do you like it?

Uh, it's okay.

What do you want to do?

Well, you know, not everybody has a plan.

I want to be a writer. I want to be a ballerina. Oh, bully for you.

They're pretty remarkable, you have to admit.

Yeah, who's going to make me?

Well, come on, now, did that...

That is adorable. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they do that. They do something adorable.

And then they nail you. Wham! And they suck the life out of you.

Oh, were you raised by wolves?

These kids are less damaged than you are.

They've had the crap heaped on them. It's your excuse.

I'm a terrible human being.

Look, Sam, I'm sorry, but these kids, they scare the hell out of me. I have no

idea why.

I know it's supposed to be a woman, and it's supposed to be all, you know,

maternal instincts. It's supposed to want children. Well...

I'm sorry, I have never had any secret desire to become overly familiar with

the wonderful world of childhood diseases, much less become involved in

anyone else's puberty, and I certainly have never wanted to send anyone to four

years of college.

Aren't we in a lovely mood?

Man?

It's one o'clock in the morning. Shouldn't you be sleeping?

I would.

Something's wrong with Megan.

What do you mean?

What's wrong?

I don't know.

She's really hot. She's sick.

Are you good?

Honey? Oh, my God, she's burning up.

What do we do?

I don't know, but we gotta do something.

Oh, brother.

Oh.

Uh... Um...

Um... Hello, uh, operator. I, um, sorry. I'd bother you. I, um... There's a

little girl here. She's really sick. I don't know what to do.

I... Um... Oh, no, no. Thank you. Thank you. I will.

Stupid old doctor. I'll be right back and get my phone book. You'll be fine,

Megan.

It's okay, Megan.

Where's Mommy?

It's okay.

You're gonna be okay.

Oh.

Hello? Fred?

Hi, it's Barbara. Barbara Whitney?

Uh, yeah, I'm really sorry to bother you so late, but, um, it's my niece.

She's five, and she's just burning up. I, um... Right, I should... Yes?

Okay.

Uh, yeah, but, um, would you mind, uh, coming... Oh, thank you.

I'm sorry, but thank you.

Yeah, see you then. Thanks. Bye.

Is he coming? Yeah, he says he's coming to get some cloth with cold water on it

for her. Okay.

Honey.

Come here.

Sweetie, you're going to be fine.

You're going to be fine.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're going to be okay.

I'm sorry.

Oh, what are you sorry about?

Mommy always says we're doing all our plans when you get sick.

Oh, really?

Well, you didn't ruin any of mine.

Because I don't have any.

Here. This is going to make you feel a lot better until that doctor gets here.

Right? She's going to be okay.

You feel better?

Yeah. There we go.

Thank you so much for coming over.

I thought she was going to die.

I haven't had much experience with children, so I guess I overreacted. You

didn't overreact at all. Megan had a high fever.

You did the right thing.

Just make sure she takes the Tylenol I gave you.

Thanks again.

You're welcome.

Don't worry.

She'll be fine.

Well, this has been a hell of a night.

What do you say we get some sleep?

Night. Good night.

Good night, Megan.

Morning.

I'm sorry. I know I was supposed to sleep in my own bed. Okay, Matt.

It was a sweet thing.

Well, how are you feeling this morning?

Tired. Oh, tired.

Why don't you say you both stay in bed and I'll fix you some breakfast?

Well, don't you think that maybe I should make breakfast?

I suppose it would taste better.

Thanks for being so nice to Megan.

You really love her, don't you?

She's okay.

You got the wrong bacon. I asked for Farmer John.

Hey, I'm sorry.

Hey, Matt, I'm going to the museum today. Do you want to come with me?

Well, I really think I should stay here with Ming.

I thought I'd ask Miss Piggy to babysit.

Do you and Sam sleep together?

I know how to break the news, too, but men and women can't be friends without

them sleeping together.

Mom doesn't have any men friends that she doesn't sleep with. Well, you just

have to trust me on this one.

He's quite the catch.

Oh, really?

I'll be sure to tell him you think so.

How long have you known him?

Oh, a long time.

His wife, Laura, and I used to be best friends in college.

Were they divorced?

Nope. She died.

Poor Sam.

Hey, how'd you like an omelet?

I'd love one.

Is Megan really going to be all right?

Absolutely.

My mom used to say when something bad happens, it just gets worse.

Well, she was just talking about her life.

What do you do when you go to the museum?

I catalog the collections, help them plan shows, openings, stuff like that.

Were you ever an artist?

I used to paint a little, but I gave it up.

Why?

Because I wasn't any good.

Did people ever see your stuff?

No, not really.

Well, then how did you know?

Because there's this little voice inside your head that says, hey, you're no

good.

Oh, yeah.

It's the same when my mom hears.

What do you think?

It's okay.

It's okay?

It's a building. It's okay for a building. All right, come on. I'll show

you the building.

You know, this place falls apart when you're not here. Oh, no.

Oh, is this your sister's cake? Yes, this is Matt. Hi, Matt.

Hi. Oh, he's a beautiful kid.

Yeah. Is that Barbara?

Hi. Hey.

We missed you. Oh, thank you. When are you coming back? Oh, soon, soon.

This is my nephew, Matt.

Hello, Matt. Barbara.

What? Hi.

We're hanging the new show. I would love you to come take a look. Oh, I'd love

to. I'd love to. Thank you. Oh, Matt. Come on.

Bye,

Matt. Nice to meet you.

Aren't they magnificent?

Yes, they really are.

Is your painting as bad as this?

This isn't bad, Matt. This is abstract.

If abstract is no word for bad, then it's abstract, all right. Young man,

people pay millions of dollars for this artist's work.

And they're stupid.

They're not stupid.

They're art collectors.

Don't touch. Don't touch!

I'm sorry. I didn't think it would come off.

Give that to me.

Do you have any idea what this is worth?

Millions of dollars? That's enough. That's enough, Matt.

I'm terribly sorry, Harry. Please, I can't apologize enough, and this will

not happen again.

What's the matter with you?

Nothing, Zach.

Somebody get some glue!

You will go to your room, and you will stay there until I tell you otherwise.

Hey, big guy.

You, uh... Hello.

Excuse me. What happened between you two?

What happened between Matt and myself is not the issue.

The issue is what happened between Matt and a million-dollar painting.

I don't think I want to know.

Oh, but I want to tell you, because you're the one who thinks they're all as

cute as bugs' ears.

I take him to the museum, that's innocent enough, and then he pulls a can

off an Ernie Pfeiffer painting.

Get the hell out of here. He didn't. Get the hell out of here. He did.

Accidents happen.

Only if you have kids.

What am I supposed to do? Send them flowers with a note saying, whoops?

It's good. I like that.

You would.

I mean, don't you get it? I could lose my job over this.

I gotta give Megan her time, and I'll be right back.

Uh, Meg? Megan?

Hey.

We've got a problem. Well, I don't want to hear about it because my brain isn't

big enough.

The kids are gone.

What do you mean the kids are gone?

What do you mean what do I mean they're gone? Is it not here?

Well, it's impossible.

Matt!

Get out.

Get out.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Give me those keys.

Quick. Now you get out of this car. Both of you. Get out of this car.

Get in the house.

Get in that house. Now.

No. Don't even. Don't even. Don't even. All right.

Go over there. Sit down.

Go on.

Well, Matt, you've had quite a day, haven't you?

Don't you think you have some explaining to do? There's nothing to explain.

You hate us, so we were leaving.

My feelings for you have nothing to do with this.

Since when do you think you can just drive away in a car?

Since it's ours and not yours.

You know, last I heard, they were just letting 10-year-olds drink.

Do you have any concept of the difference between right and wrong?

What's wrong is being here. Listen, Buster, this isn't a pleasure cruise for

me either.

I'll tell you my definition of wrong.

Destroying other people's property and stealing a car.

You don't want us to be here, and we don't want to be here. I want to be

here. Shut up, Megan!

And stop telling her to shut up!

We're going to leave one way or the other, so you just let us go.

Look, we've had this conversation before, and I, for one, do not

particularly want to have it again.

I want both of you to go to your room and stay there until I tell you to come

out.

Don't you think you were a little hard on Matt?

Beating him within an inch of his life. That would have been hard on him.

Smartass.

Because it takes one to know one.

Last night, Megan was so sick, nearly scared the hell out of me.

And then after going through all that with them, I actually started to like

them.

And today I want to kill them.

I don't understand why anyone would voluntarily have children.

stuck with each other.

And since you're the adult, you have to find out a way to get along with them. I

don't know that.

I hope you also know that Matt and Megan aren't exactly thrilled by this

arrangement either.

Megan is?

Now she's five. She'd be thrilled by almost anything.

How long do I punish them for?

A couple of years.

I know it's not their fault. They didn't pick their mother.

Suppose you want me to go in there and be nice to them.

I, the great Oz, herewith certify that you, Barbara Whitney, do now have a

heart. Oh, shut up.

I'd rather be the scarecrow. I've got a brain.

Can I come in?

Yes.

I'm sorry I yelled at you.

I deserved to be yelled at. No, you didn't.

I stole a car and ruined that million-dollar thing in one day.

Well, million-dollar thing was an accident, and anyway, it was ugly.

The car... This isn't your home, and you weren't happy here, and you wanted to

leave.

I don't know if I wouldn't have done the same thing in your place.

So, wait a minute. You're not mad?

No.

This is a trick, right?

No. No, it's not a trick.

Look, we're stuck together for a while, you know, so... Why don't we just try to

get along?

I know this sounds strange coming from me, but... We might even have a good

time together.

Though I'm not really sure about the last part.

Could we go get ice cream?

She just forgave me for stealing a car. Let's not push her luck.

Well, I think these pants look nice.

You're a retard.

Look, you have to look good the first day of school.

Where's Megan?

Megan? Oh, I thought I lost you.

Can we have ice cream?

No.

Let him have ice cream.

Books, hundreds of books all say you should never give children sugar before

they go to sleep. Why not?

Because it makes them insane.

That's a myth.

So tomorrow's a big day, huh? Oh, please, don't remind them. What, you

guys aren't looking forward to school?

Not really.

I am.

That's because you've never been before.

Okay, kids, what do you say? You want a little TV before you go to sleep?

Yeah.

Do I detect a note of reluctant bonding? Yeah, they're okay.

You're crazy about them. Admit it.

That's a little strong, don't you? They make your life better. Come on.

Admit it. You're an idiot.

You're a much better mom than I thought you'd be.

I'm not their mom.

Your walls are showing.

What's your point?

No point. Just an observation.

So, are you going to the museum tomorrow if you drop them off? For a couple of

hours. Then I thought I'd check out the art supply store.

Get out of here.

You haven't painted in years.

So?

So, nothing.

I think it's great.

Don't be smug. I hate it when you're smug.

Everybody up. Get a move on.

You're burning the butter.

I don't tell you how to cook.

Why aren't you guys dressed?

Go get dressed.

I have to go to school. Yes.

Why? Because I went to school.

That's a stupid answer.

One of many you'll come across as you grow up.

Where is breakfast?

We'll eat on the way, smartass.

I'd like a hot dog. Oh, I'll bet you would.

Where are your books?

I don't have any books. Oh, right.

Hello? Yes?

Is everything okay?

Oh, thank God. The kids are okay, yeah.

Um, so what can I do for you?

You're kidding, right?

I don't get it. Why would you handcuff yourself to a locker?

And where did you get the handcuffs?

Well, I've always had them.

What? They were a present for one of my uncles. He was a policeman. You don't

have an uncle who's a policeman.

Right. Look, I'm sorry. I just don't understand why you'd do such a thing

when everything was going so well.

I shouldn't be in the fourth grade. I should be in the fifth grade. You put me

in the fourth grade. I didn't put you anywhere. The school put you in the

fourth grade because they don't have the records from your previous schools.

Like I told them, all they had to do was ask.

That's not the way it works.

Otherwise, ten-year-olds would say they're in the last year of college.

It took our janitor an hour to saw off the handcuffs.

That is not what the school district pays him for.

I... I'm terribly sorry.

Matt, would you mind stepping outside while Mr. Blackford and I talk in

private? Why? So you can tell him what a miserable life I've had?

Outside.

Mr. Blackford, as you may or may not know, Matt's mother abandoned him.

And frankly, we're lucky he doesn't come to school with a loaded gun.

He has a gun?

No, he doesn't have a gun.

He's just had a rotten life, no stability, and he's a little pissed off.

I mean, wouldn't you be?

That's not the point.

No.

Do you think you could possibly re-evaluate him and put him in the fifth

grade? That is, of course, if he's qualified.

It's unusual.

But to avoid further trouble, we will give him an equivalency test for the

fifth grade.

Bring him back in the morning.

We'll test him then.

Thank you very much. Appreciate it.

Can't you just act like other kids?

What do you mean, like other kids?

Do you think other kids steal cars, handcuff themselves to lockers?

I don't know. Well, I don't think so. I think they go play ball and join the

scouts. Normal things.

Well, I guess I'm not normal, okay? Listen to me. Let me tell you something.

I do not want you pulling another stunt like that. You understand me? You can't

keep telling me what to do. You're not my mother. No, I'm not, because you

don't have one. At least it isn't you.

Matt. Matt, come back here, please. I'm sorry.

Call an ambulance, please.

I didn't mean it.

You stupid son of a bitch! You stupid son of a bitch!

God, I'm coming after you!

I'm fine.

Please, be careful.

Speak softly, please. It's just a little boy.

Yes, ma'am, we'll be careful, but we have to get him to the hospital.

Hang in there, huh?

You'll be fine.

Please, stay back.

Hi. How you doing?

Okay.

Well, they say you're going to be fine.

Just got a couple of bruised ribs and they want to keep you in overnight.

I called Sam.

He's going to come over with Megan.

Are you sick?

No, I'm okay, Megan.

Hey.

You are one tough little guy, aren't you?

Wouldn't let a heap of metal stop you, would you?

Sorry I took so long. Oh, it's okay.

You okay?

Oh. Yeah, fine.

You should see him laying there. Nobody should ever be that vulnerable.

Well, hey, we gotta go.

Now, Megan's gotta get home and get some supper, and you gotta get some sleep.

So, I'm really glad you're okay.

Just call me if you need me, all right?

Okay.

I'm gonna get good at this, I promise.

See ya.

Do you mind if I... Talk to Megan alone.

Oh. Oh, okay.

So I'll be here first thing in the morning.

Megan will be right outside.

So long, car stopper.

Bye.

Can I go cram out a picture?

What? Can I cram out a picture?

Megan? Why are you talking to me?

Matt said it was okay, that it was safe now. Can I?

Sure.

Well, you're just a big wuss, aren't you?

Right.

I wasn't built for this.

Laura was built for this. She should have been the mother.

I'm sorry.

She should have been a mother.

I couldn't breathe when she died.

Wish I could stop missing her.

No, you don't.

I talk to her every day.

It keeps me sane.

Maybe I should try that. She'd tell me what to do.

She's telling you what to do through these kids.

No, I mean, I can't be this person that they need.

You already are.

You were hit by a car, Matt. You should really take a cab home.

I'm fine.

Not you, me. I'm exhausted.

I need to walk. I've been in bed so long I think I've shrunk.

You can tell.

All right, all right. All right, come on, let's go. I'm a sucker for an

invalid anyway.

Come on.

Can I ask you something?

Sure.

What were my grandparents like?

Flawed. What do you mean? Well, they were there, but they really weren't

there, you know, emotionally.

Do you feel like they don't want you around?

Yep, all the time.

Is that why Mom's that way?

I don't know.

I think we learn from our parents.

Look, everybody does the best they can, and sometimes the best is just lousy.

Do you think I'll be like my parents?

Maybe.

I didn't know my father.

But maybe he was a guy like Sam.

A good guy.

I bet he was.

And I bet you'd take after him.

Do you think our mom likes us?

Yes.

I do.

I think she even loves you.

She just doesn't know how to show it because nobody showed her.

We're both the same parents.

And you know how to...

You want to be a pirate? Oh, yeah, Jim.

Where's your costume?

I'm wearing it.

Who are you?

An adult.

Come on, kids.

Come on, kids.

This just looks incredible.

It's like a Norman Rockwell painting.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Thank you for inviting us.

You know, Barbara, I can't believe you cooked all of this. Who knew that you

cook?

Well, actually, I don't.

It was Matt.

Okay?

Wow! Makeup! My favorite!

Which one is it?

Kids!

Look who's here!

Sure fooled them, huh?

I can't believe how much it cost to rent this suit. Well, I bet you can still

pick up a couple of bucks on Fifth Avenue.

Happy Mother's Day!

What's going on?

We were just trying to make you breakfast in bed.

Mission accomplished.

What the hell was it? It looks pretty good.

Come on, man. Stay in there. Dig in now.

He's not a farmer. He

used to play on a farm.

This is what I meant. I didn't think he'd hold or anything.

Make a wish. Blow out all the candles.

Excellent.

Thank you.

Hey, Matt.

This is for you.

On your birthday.

You painted this?

Yeah. What is it?

This, Megan.

This million dollar painting.

You know, maybe you should just go on this one by yourself.

I'm kind of tired.

You're not scared, are you?

Scared? No, I'm not scared of roller coasters. Adults aren't scared of roller

coasters. They're scared of men with guns, not roller coasters.

Feel okay, Aunt Barbara?

Never better.

Thank you.

You don't look too good.

Wait,

get some hot dogs?

Oh, let's not talk about food just now, huh?

Everybody up. Get a move on.

Why aren't you guys dressed? You don't do this every year on the first day of

school? Do what?

Not get dressed.

You just woke us up. So, go get dressed.

I'm not getting all upset about this. It's not your first day of school.

I'm sorry. I guess I'm just a little nervous about the two of you walking to

school on your own.

I know. Without a trace. That's why you showed us the movie ten times. Don't

worry. We won't get into any strangers' cars.

We promise.

Excuse me. Did you just flip an omelet?

Yeah. You got a problem with that?

I got no problem.

Delicious.

Bye.

Bye.

Hey.

Hey. Did you forget something?

Mickey.

Yes.

Come here. You're being a little too old for this. When you're dead, then you'll

be too old for this.

Who is it?

Aren't you going to ask me in? What are you doing here?

It didn't work out, so I came back to get the kids. Excuse me?

My kids, Matt and Megan.

Oh, right.

Those kids you disowned. Boy, you really are a piece of work, aren't you? I

thought you were the one who wanted your freedom. I thought you'd be glad to get

rid of them. What, like you did?

You can't come back here over a year later just like it was yesterday.

Look, they're my kids.

So I made a mistake.

They'll understand.

They shouldn't have to. You shouldn't ask them to. I'm not going to talk about

it. I'm their mother. End of story.

Where are they?

At school.

Where's the school? I'll go get them. No, don't go to the school.

They'll be back at 3 o'clock.

You can come back then.

Okay.

Can you have their stuff ready?

Where's my car?

This is New York. It's been towed.

All right, hang on.

Yep. Yep.

Hey.

I don't know what to do.

About what?

Ruth's back.

Oh, God.

She wants Matt and Megan.

You have to give them to her.

What side are you on?

I'm on yours, but legally.

You know, she's their mother, Barbara.

I'm not going to give them up.

Well, what are you going to do?

You're going to run away with them? If the kids want to stay with me, I'm going

to fight for custody.

Do you have any idea how ugly something like that can get? By protecting these

kids is something I have to do.

She's the biological mother. Her lawyers will just eat you alive.

I can't give them up.

I love them.

I think we better sit down.

Bad news, huh?

There.

Now.

Your mother's back.

She wants to take you with her.

I won't go with her.

Can I see her?

No, she doesn't want us.

We want to stay with Aunt Barbara.

Okay?

Okay. Are you sure?

Yes.

Well, then I'll have to go to court.

and try to get custody of you.

You'd do that?

Yeah. Then you could be our second mother.

Well, if the judge says yes, then I could raise you.

Could we see our mother?

Yeah.

Hope so.

Could Sam be our father?

You got a thing about pushing your luck, don't you?

Well, okay.

Where are my kids?

They're not here.

Where are they, Barbara? I want my kids.

They're in a safe place.

What the hell is going on here? I really wouldn't touch her if I were you.

Barbara, please, come on. You're my sister. Don't do this. Those are my

kids. Our office has been retained by your sister to petition the court for

custody of your children. You can't do this, you bitch! I'm afraid we can on

the grounds of abandonment. You can't keep me from seeing my kids!

She has been their guardian for over a year, and she has custody of them.

That gives her every right.

You're not going to get away with this.

If you make any attempt to see your children or our client before the

petition is heard on September 20th, we will have you arrested for harassment.

We'll see you in court.

Your Honor, Barbara Whitney, the petitioner, is asking the court for

custody of Matt and Megan Whitney, her sister's children.

Fourteen months ago, Ruth Whitney, the biological mother, abandoned her

children, telling the petitioner that she no longer wanted to be a mother and

that she was surrendering her children to my client.

No attempt at support or contact was made by the respondent in connection to

the well-being of her children.

During that time, Your Honor, we will show that the respondent left the

country and her children to be with a virtual stranger for what appears to

have been a sexual adventure.

Mr. Goldani, do you have an opening statement?

We will reserve our opening statement.

Proceed with your first witness, Ms. Rothman.

I call Ruth Whitney to the stand.

Objection.

Although it is somewhat unusual to call the respondent to testify as the

petitioner's witness, I will allow it. I object, Your Honor. My client would be

testifying against herself.

Mr. Galdani, this is a full adversarial hearing, not a trial. I assume you want

to get to the truth of this matter as much as Miss Rothman.

This hearing is to decide what is best for the children.

You may proceed.

I call Ruth Whitney to the stand.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth,

so help you God?

I do.

State your full name.

Ruth Elizabeth Whitney.

Miss Whitney, when did you last see your children?

July.

Would that be the July that was two months ago or the July that was one year

and two months ago?

One year and two months ago.

And during that time, did you make any attempt to see or speak to your

children? Yes, I sent letters every week.

And during that time, who took over the responsibility and care for your

children?

My sister.

And didn't you tell her in the airline terminal before you boarded your plane

that you were, and I quote, a lousy mother and that they were no longer your

children?

I don't remember. I...

Just left to find a father for my kids and to set up a home for them.

Haven't you left them before?

Or were you always looking for this imaginary father and family?

Barbara Whitney hired me to find her sister when she abandoned children and

went to London.

What was Ruth Whitney doing when you found her?

Your Honor, it's irrelevant what my client was doing.

How do you know?

Sit down, Mr. Goldani.

Please answer the question, Mr. Fox.

She was having an affair.

Your Honor, my client is a consenting adult. Adults have affairs. There is

nothing illegal about it. Only when they abandon their children to do it.

No more questions, Your Honor.

Thank you.

Mr. Goldani, do you wish to cross-examine this witness?

May I have a moment, Your Honor?

I thought you said this was going to be easy. You opened and shot a cakewalk.

Unless you nearly killed them.

It is.

So, is the judge on our side? I mean, how do you think we're doing?

Well, uh... Barbara, I'm not gonna lie to you.

I told you when I took the case that we were in for a fight.

Judges in family court would rather do almost anything than take custody away

from the natural mother.

To hell with the kids, all right?

I don't want to put them on the stand.

I have to put them on the stand. They have to tell the court where they want

to live.

Even if I didn't do what the judge would.

You should have told me about the letters. I don't think they exist.

Well, if they do exist, that means she stayed in touch.

If they do exist, that means she didn't sever her parental responsibilities.

I'll talk to you for a minute.

Let me ask you something.

Did you get any letters from your brother?

Yes.

But I threw them out.

I'm sorry.

No, it's okay.

It's okay.

I call Megan Whitney to the stand.

Put your right hand up.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

So help you God.

I'm not allowed to swear.

You don't have to swear.

You just have to say yes.

Yes.

And can you tell us your full name?

Megan Patricia Whitney.

Megan, come and sit by me.

Now, Megan, before Ms. Rothman can ask you any questions, I'm going to ask you

a few. Is that all right?

Yes. Do you know the difference between the truth and a lie?

Yes.

Can you tell me what that is?

When you lie, you get in trouble.

When you tell the truth, you don't.

That's very good, Megan.

Do you know the difference between right and wrong?

When you do the wrong thing, you get in trouble. When you do the right thing,

you don't.

Do you understand why we're here today?

Because my mommy wants us back.

That's right, Mayden.

You may proceed, Miss Rodman.

Megan, can you tell why you want to live with your Aunt Barbara?

She likes us, and she's really nice to us.

Were you upset when your mother left?

Yes.

Megan, how many times before this has your mother left you alone?

Lots.

Is your mother nice to you?

Sometimes.

And when is she not very nice to you?

When we make too much noise or take up too much time.

No more questions, Your Honor.

Mr. Goldani?

Thank you, Your Honor.

Now, Megan, do you think you like staying with Aunt Barbara because it's

more fun?

I don't know.

Does she take you fun places?

Yeah, and she buys us fun toys.

Your Honor, this is ridiculous. Of course she wants to go somewhere where

all they do is have fun and play with toys. That does not make them a parent

either psychologically or biologically.

I wouldn't care if there were no toys at Aunt Barbara's. I would want to stay

there anyways.

No more questions at this time.

Megan, can I talk to you for one more minute?

Okay.

Do you want to go and live with your mother?

No.

Why not?

She doesn't really like us.

Who wants to get something to eat?

Anywhere you want.

No, I'm not hungry.

Okay, Mickey, how about you?

No. No?

You're not hungry.

So, Barbara, you would say that the three of you lead a very happy, well

-adjusted life.

Yes, absolutely.

No more questions, Your Honor.

Mr. Goldani?

Do you have any children of your own, Ms. Whitney?

Um... No, I don't. Have you spent much time around children?

Oh, in the past, no.

Not really.

Have you ever had any desire to have children?

I never felt that it was an option that was really

appropriate to my life.

Ms. Whitney, do you like children?

Oh.

Well, that's a complicated question. I, um... I really don't think it has a

simple answer. Please answer the question, Miss Whitney.

Do I like children?

Um... Well, in general, not particularly.

So we should believe that you do now?

Yes.

These children.

Miss Whitney, are you an alcoholic?

Excuse me.

Objection! Sit down, Miss Rothman.

Answer the question, Miss Whitney.

There was a time when I felt

that I had a problem with alcohol.

Are you an alcoholic?

I, um... Isn't it true that four years ago you were in a rehab for treatment of

alcohol addiction?

Uh, yes, but I've not had a drink since.

Your Honor, please, I haven't had a drink since. I really don't think this

is relevant. Don't tell me what's relevant unless you want to face

contempt charges.

You're dismissed.

That was a cheap shot, Ruth.

We just lost the case.

Your Honor, I'd like to go on the record to say that my client has been clean and

sober for four years. This is a non-issue.

Duly noted.

Proceed.

I'd like to call Matt Whitney to the stand.

It's not scary. The judge is nice.

Raise your right hand.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth,

so I'll be God?

I do.

State your full name.

Matthew Paul Whitney.

Hi.

Hello. You a little nervous?

A little.

Yeah.

Matt, how old are you?

Eleven.

How did you feel when your mother left?

I wasn't shocked or anything.

We've always kind of been in the way.

How would you know that?

Because she's told us.

How did you feel about your Aunt Barbara when you first started to stay there?

I guess we make a bad first impression.

We didn't really get along.

But I think we kind of grew on her.

Why would it be your fault if you didn't get along?

I don't know. Everything was usually our fault.

Matt, did your mother hit you?

Sometimes. What would make her hit you?

When I would talk back to her in front of one of her boyfriends.

How many times did your mother leave you alone?

Lots of times.

But for a short time to go shopping, something like that?

No.

Sometimes for a day.

Once for three days.

How did you eat?

How'd you take care of yourself?

She left $20 on the table.

Matt, why do you want to live with your Aunt Barbara?

Because we love her.

Matt, do you really think that a woman who has lived alone all of her adult

life can take care of two children?

Objection, Your Honor.

Irrelevant and slanderous. It is somewhat slanderous, but I will allow

it. You may answer the question.

You may think that an 11-year-old doesn't know much about anything.

But I know that when Megan got sick and I got hurt, Aunt Barbara took better

care of us than her own mother would have.

Do you love your mother?

I don't mean to say bad things about my mother, because I love her

and I know she's doing the best she can.

Just not good enough anymore.

No more questions, Your Honor.

You can go back to your seat now.

Your Honor, may I approach the bench?

You may.

Ladies and gentlemen, it seems the respondent will not testify on her own

behalf and does not want to contest the petitioner's request for custody.

Before I render my decision, which is all but a foregone conclusion now, I

feel it necessary to tell you, Miss Whitney, that when you give birth to a

child, you have a responsibility.

It seems, Miss Whitney, that these children are the consequences of your

actions and that you are unwilling to accept that responsibility.

Every single problem we have in this world is because a child wasn't loved.

Therefore, it is without any hesitation that I grant the custody of the minor

children Matt and Megan Whitney to Barbara Whitney.

Visitation rights shall be bimonthly at the discretion of the petitioner.

I suggest you grow up, Miss Whitney, the same way your children have had to.

Court adjourned.

Good night, pal. Good night. Stay tight.

When is our mom coming to see us? I don't know.

But the judge told her to visit us. Don't you have to do what he says?

She's probably thrilled to finally be rid of us. That's not true, Matt.

The judge said that your mom wasn't ready to live with you all the time.

That doesn't mean she doesn't want to.

Why are you sticking up for her?

I'm not sure.

Hey, uh, I would like to make a toast.

Oh. Okay.

To Barbara's promotion at the museum.

Here, here. No one deserves it more than you. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.

Actually, before you drain your glasses, I have an announcement to make. Um,

actually, I'm gonna take a leave of absence.

Yeah, I'm gonna stay home and be with these kids, paint, and

live my life for a while.

Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers.

This looks wonderful.

It's like a Thanksgiving tradition now. Matt, once again, you have outdone

yourself. Well, actually, I didn't do it this year. And Barbara did.

Get out of here. She wouldn't know a turkey if it walked up to her and

clucked in her face.

Oh, wow. Thank you for that vote of confidence.

Matt, would you like to say the grace, please?

Thank you, God, for all that we are about to receive, and thank you for

letting us live with him, Barb.

Amen. Amen.

Thanks. Amen.

What?

And God bless Mommy wherever she is. Amen.

I don't know why you keep doing this. You're not fooling anybody.

I don't just do it for them. I do it for myself.

Sometimes I make 20 bucks on the way over here. Oh, congratulations.

Why don't you sit on Santa's lap and...

Tell him what you want for Christmas.

You ain't got that kind of time, big boy.

Sam, I got your presents.

No, I got them right here.

Rose!

Rose!

Why didn't you ring the doorbell?

i didn't want to bother you i just want to leave a present for the kids look

i never meant to hurt matt and megan i do

love them you gotta believe that i do i believe that

i got a job it's nothing glamorous but

i'm doing something for the first time it's not just for me

I'm really sorry I put you and the kids through.

I'm trying. I really am.

I love them.

Will you tell them that for me?

I will. I'll tell them. Why don't you just come inside?

I'm not ready yet.

Thanks.

Merry Christmas Merry Christmas

Very

sparkly

Cool. Do you have that? It's cool. No, not yet. But look at this. I have this.

I got to start this pickup. This red pickup truck. Very cool. Yeah, it's

pretty neat.

Oh, what's that?

Oh,

pretty.

Hey, where'd you go?

Santa just made a special delivery.

These are from your mother.

I told you she didn't hate us.

Yeah, you did.

If you say something stupid, I'll kill you.

Like what?

It's a Kodak moment?

Yeah.

I would call a fight.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No.

I think to myself,

what a wonderful.

Thank you.