Original subtitles

My feelings are always spinning around and around!

I'm Shinobu!

Gaboraa!

I'm a female ninja, Watashi Kunoichi

Two times two equals Shinobu! Ninin ga Shinobu desu

I'm a trainee, but... Minarai dakedo

...I'm on the path to becoming a ninja ninja no michi wo mashigura

Let's learn ninja techniques, Manabo ninpo

Nin-Nin! Let's learn ninja techniques, Manabo ninpo

Nin-Nin!

Finally today, the great transformation kyou koso daihenshin

Chant the spell, Jyumon tonaete

What's this magnificent, yet naughty, sight? a bold pose, I'm going to nail it daitan pozu kimete mimasu

What's this magnificent, yet naughty, sight?

Let's go, close your eyes, take a deep breath Iku yo me wo tojite shinkokyuu shite

Suuu~! Let's go, close your eyes, take a deep breath Iku yo me wo tojite shinkokyuu shite

Suuu~!

Ninja Technique: Art of the Doppelganger Ninpo bunshin no jutsu

One, two, three, four! One, two, three, four! Ichi ni san shi

Oh my, that's weird Arya-rya-rya hen ne

Big time, big time, Buchake buchake

Lots of mishaps Shippai ippai

Watch this, this time it's ninja stars Mitete kondo wa shuriken

One, two, three, four! One, two, three, four! Ichi ni san shi

Hopefully this will work Nantoka naare

Ei-ya, Ei-ya! Ei-ya, Ei-ya!

It's sink or swim Ichikabachika de

Watch this, my power's at it's max Mitete pawaa wa zenkai

I'll be stronger tomorrow, Shinobu Asu wa motto tsuyoku narimasu Shinobu

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! I'll be stronger tomorrow, Shinobu Asu wa motto tsuyoku narimasu Shinobu

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

I'm a ninja Ninja desu

This story is about the super handsome boy, Onsokumaru...

...and the beautiful women that surround him.

It's an anime filled with love, lust, and unexpected nudity...

Onsokumaru Gets Angry!

Onsokumaru Gets Angry Onsokumaru Gets Angry!

Onsokumaru Gets Angry

Crazy happy!

Crazy efforts!

Onsokumaru, you're not punching hard enough! Crazy efforts!

Onsokumaru, you're not punching hard enough! Crazy fight!

Crazy fight!

And your armpits smell! Crazy fight!

And your armpits smell!

I'm almost powerful as a baby dinosaur right now!

You're doing great with your image training!

What's gotten into Onsokumaru?

Well, you see...

He was spanked on the butt by my little sister Miyabi the other day,

so he's determined to get back at her.

I feel sorry for you Shinobu.

Look at these muscles on my body!

Are my female fans waiting for me behind the gym? Well?

This is too gross!

Onsokumaru, please forgive Miyabi.

I'll scold her and make sure she feels bad for what she did.

Even you can't stop me!

I'm going to straighten her out myself!

Miyabi! I'm ready for you!

My lightning-fast fists will rain upon you!

But I will stop at the last moment!

You will be struck by my kindness and...

Tears Tears!

Repent Repent!

Reform Reform!

Reform!

And love will follow!

What a calculated strategy! And love will follow!

What a calculated strategy!

Tadaa!

Surprised?

And then, the snake I found was actually a Tsuchinoko!

Really?

There are a lot of Tsuchinoko in the area so be careful.

Miyabi...

You finally pulled my safety plug...

I'd be worried if I were you.

Oh, Onsokumaru, you're here too?

Following the laws of the Galactic Federation...

...I'll turn you into dust of the vast universe!

P... Please forgive me!

Or else I'll cry and...

Onsokumaru always seems to get it on his butt.

Yes...

Damn you, Miyabi! I'll never forgive her!

If I had exactly fifteen more seconds to react...

...the outcome might have been different!

You really lost by a landslide.

What kind of battle was it?

I guess I have no choice...

Let me tell you the story!

NINJA VS NINJA My ninja techniques and Miyabi's magic went head to head!

My ninja techniques and Miyabi's magic went head to head!

The two colliding energies engulfed the castle in flames!

"Che castle was angulfiad in flamed! The two colliding energies engulfed the castle in flames!

The two colliding energies engulfed the castle in flames!

All systems failed at the base.

Our fate was absolutely sealed! Then...!

Absolutely Sealed Our fate was absolutely sealed! Then...!

But then!!

But then!! The eyes of the female ogre mask in the command center lit up!

The eyes of the female ogre mask in the command center lit up!

Yes! It was the signal to use...

...the Ninja Bazooka from our Paris Headquarters!

Awesome! That's awesome!

Hey you, stop exaggerating the story into epic proportions...

Is there any way to defeat Miyabi?

If you tell Miyabi you're the Head Master,

she'll probably quit doing terrible things to you.

I didn't even think of such a brilliant plan!

You fool!

Head Master wants to defeat Miyabi as Onsokumarul!

Victory though authoritative power...

...isn't victory at all!

Don't you know that's what he's trying to tell us?

How foolish of me! That was such a no-no!

Well... Um...

Head Master, you're so cool!

Hey, don't you think he's hot?

Yeah, okay...

You guys have it just as bad, so do something!

Let's see...

Oh right!

I think he might be a good match!

Devil! Hey, Devil!

D-D-Devil?! Devil! Hey, Devil!

D-D-Devil?!

Who is he?! He sounds really strong!

You called?

That's the croc that tried to eat me a while ago!

Exactly! But don't worry.

He's tamed. I also trained him to speak human words!

Long time no see.

Sorry about what happened that time.

Hope you can forgive me, you bastard.

He's not trained well at all!

But he apologized for what happened!

You should praise him for that!

I just got the greatest idea.

I'm such a genius!

You're being eaten.

Hey, Miyabi... please try to get along with Onsokumaru.

But he's the one who always starts it!

Guys like him deserve to get punished anyway.

Onsokumaru is a bit childish, but...

...there are a lot of good things about him too.

For example...

Well...

Um...

Hey, Kaede! Tell her about them!

Don't pass it off to me!

Good things?

There are too many for me to count...

Who is it?

Tadaa! Attention everyone!

I'm the new generation Onsokumaru.

Onsokumaru? What happened to you?

Surprised?

This is the ultimate union of croc power and my brain!

But you look like you're being eaten by the crocodile...

Miyabi! Your magic is useless against my solid armor!

W-What did you say?

Devil! Let's go! Show them our power!

It's useless.

I wonder what's wrong?

Onsokumaru?

I swallowed him...

...in one gulp.

W-What should we do?

What a pain in the butt!

You're going to snap my jaw!

Wow, great job, Miyabi!

Damn it! I'll show you with my next big attack!

Crocodile Powersuit on!

Crocodile Powersuit!! Crocodile Powersuit on!

Onsokumaru! Where is he?

Oh, it's Miyabi.

Did Onsokumaru do something?

He wrote the most ridiculous things...

...all over my school notebook!

Annusina tkines'! — Take a deep Breatk in a stinky Bathroom DONE — Take a Paid holiday and Play adult videoaannes

Annusina tkines'! — Take a deep Breatk in a stinky Bathroom DONE — Take a Paid holiday and Play adult videoaannes Wow, that's bad...

— Guy turns into Girl, Girl turns into (auyl! — Parvty Stoc-KINC: 600d idea! Wow, that's bad...

— Guy turns into Girl, Girl turns into (auyl! — Parvty Stoc-KINC: 600d idea!

He thought it would be funny, but it's not. It's kinda mean.

Hey! Onsokumarul!

Apologize to Kaede!

Sounds like he's all over the place.

Where? Where? Where is it?!

Where is it written?!

Found him!

This is Occult Team to everyone!

Discovered the target in Area E!

Hey! Get down here, Onsokumarul!

Come down, Onsokumaru!

Hold on! Listen to me!

Ignore him!

Pull him down and punish him with duct tape underpants!

We're going that far?

It was so dangerous, we abolished it ten years ago.

How terrifying! But we have no choice!

Let go of me, you idiots!

Forgive us Onsokumaru. It was your order! Let go of me, you idiots!

Forgive us Onsokumaru. It was your order!

It's your fault! It's all your fault!

Do it! Do it!

Poor Onsokumaru...

He deserves it!

Yup. Yup.

Damn it!

Didn't you guys see there was...

...something wrong with that last scene?

Something wrong?

Sasuke!

The seam at your butt is torn!

Oh no, really?

Not that!

There are two Onsokumarus!

Took you long enough!

What's going on, Onsokumaru?

Well, you see...

I can get back at Miyabi using this!

I was doing the doppelganger technique and... I can get back at Miyabi using this!

I was doing the doppelganger technique and...

I did it! I did it!

Yahoo! I'm free!

Bye-bye, hot guy!

Wait up, Mr. Handsome!

I can't have you doing whatever!

Oh my... So all those pranks were done by the Onsokumaru clone?

I was just researching how to get rid of him, but...

Get rid of me? Don't be stupid.

I'm going to stay like this! Let's see...

Call me Kosokumaru!

Kosokumaru Call me Kosokumaru!

I see, then you and I will have to fight.

Bring it on.

Look! There's a cute girl who's blushing and doesn't know what to do...

...because she found a dirty magazine in her brother's room!

Where? Where?

I'll find her first! Where? Where?

I'll find her first!

They both use cheap tactics...

They both said the same thing...

And they're both being fooled!

Impressive, my clone... We're even!

I never expected to taste my own terrifying wrath...

What a ridiculous match.

Then, it's a physical match!

I won't stop punching you until you cry!

Me too!

Damn you! Damn you! Damn you! Damn you!

What a fierce aerial battle!

I can't take my eyes off of them!

Neither of us are winning.

I have to go take a dump, too!

Just don't go right now!

What's happening?

Help me! I'm getting stuck!

Damn! Have I run out of time? See you!

Run out of time?

What kind of doppelganger technique is that?

Kosokumaru... He was a formidable enemy.

Of my enemies, he was the strongest,

most courageous, and the most beautiful I've ever fought!

Why are you lying?

I bought manjuu for everyone! One per person!

Me! Me! Me!

Gimme! Gimme, gimme! Gimme manjuul! Manjuu! Gimme manjuul!

Gimme! Manjuu! Manjuu gimme! Gimme manjuu! Gimme! Manjuul!

He's at it again...

Gimme! Gimme manjuul!

Shinobu Leaves the Manor!

Shinobu Leaves the Manov Shinobu Leaves the Manor!

Shinobu Leaves the Manor

So, are all the head ninjas here?

Yes! Yes!

Then let us begin our monthly meeting!

Attention! Bow! Fart! Sit!

Monthly meeting?

Um, Onsokumaru...

One Important Point "Shinobuden" Facts

One Important Point "Shinobuden" Facts One Point "Shinobuden" Important Facts!

One Important Point "Shinobuden" Facts

Onsokumaru is actually the Head Master of the ninja clan.

Onsokumaru = Head Master Onsokumaru is actually the Head Master of the ninja clan.

Head Master Onsokumaru

Onsokumaru = Head Master He acts as a subordinate only in front of Shinobu.

Head Master Onsokumaru

Onsokumaru Head Master Apparently he thinks he's being cute doing that.

Head Master Onsokumaru

Call me Head Master because Shinobu isn't around.

What a pain in the... Right! Sorry!

Head Master, have we always had daily meetings like this?

Get with it, will ya?

Remember last month...

...we said lines girls say that make us think they're cute?

Whoa! That was a meeting?

But that was time well spent!

“I'm going on a diet tomorrow!"

"Can I get a chocolate parfait, please?"

He's already practicing! How studious!

“I've never met a boy like you."

"Mr. Solider! There's something bizarre on the love front!"

That's supposed to be cute?

"Master. My tail is my weakness."

A half-human, half animal maid?!

What a surprise!

"So that's what one looks like? It's so cute!"

Head Master! That was so lame!

It's too perverted! You fail!

What did you say, Sasuke?

You're reading into it too deeply!

As a preacher of Angelic Girl lines...

...I can't stand the "So that's what one looks like," part!

You guys are embarrassing yourselves, so please stop.

Stop blowing your stinky breath on me, damn it!

We're here to discuss more important things at this meeting!

Does that mean...

Onsokumaru Sortie Victory Win

Onsokumaru Sortie Victory Win You're going to enter the political arena and put an end...

Onsokumaru Sortie Victory Win ...to the ridiculous law about banning bloomer sales!

Onsokumaru Sortie Victory Win

Head Master! Oh yeah! Head Master! Oh yeah!

Congratulations!

You're wrong... But I will do it someday...

So, today's topic is...

...is the issue, and so...

The Head Master and the ninjas are in a meeting.

I can't hear them.

I see. That could be problematic.

So, we're going to have Shinobu leave.

Yes, it's going to be a problem if she stays.

Are they having a meeting about kicking me out?

It can't be!

Is it because I'm a terrible ninja?

Is it because I always sing the same song at Karaoke?

Is it because I usually rent bad movies?

Is it... Is it...

I guess there's too many to mention...

A flea! A rat! A cockroach!

Who goes there!

I could have sworn someone was there.

Crazy fool...

There's no way I wouldn't have noticed!

I'll do a lap around Japan...

...on a unicycle without a seat if I'm wrong!

S-Seriously? Gotta write this down!

Hello Kaede.

Welcome Shinobu.

Boy, oh boy...

What do you want to do today?

Want to go shopping?

I'm sorry I lost my composure suddenly, but it's nothing!

Sniffle.

What do you mean it's nothing?

What happened?

We're best friends. You can talk to me!

Best friends?

Kaede, your words just filled...

...the Shinobu pouch inside me with sweet nectar!

S-Shinobu pouch?

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Shinobu pouch Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

You were kicked out of the Valley of the Ninja?

Why? For what reason?

Well, probably because I blow the breaker a lot using the microwave...

...while Head Master is recording his favorite show... I think?

For something like that?!

How terrible! Shinobu, you should be furious!

But...

Well, I've made Onsokumaru wear the same underwear for three days...

...because I forgot to wash them.

I broke Sasuke's figurines when I was cleaning...

I'm sure there's more...

I guess I can somewhat see why now...

I know!

If you don't have a place to go, come live with me!

B-But that'd be troublesome for you!

Don't worry. I'll convince my parents.

Mom, it's okay right?

Sure!

That was fast!

Actually, I was listening to your conversation.

You're such a good girl, I'd be happy to let you stay.

Plus, I've always wanted a daughter.

Thank you very much.

You already have a daughter!

I never thought I could live at Kaede's home!

But, I'm not sure if I should be happy...

...because I was kicked out.

I'm going to go make a feast tonight for Shinobu.

Alright!

I'll help out!

I might take you up on that!

Me too!

Ow!

Shinobu!

Shinobu, here let me see...

Y-Yes...

You're okay. It's a little cut.

I'll lick it for you.

Kaede's mother is so wonderful!

The two-generation, mother-daughter team wins the golden glove award!

You make no sense...

I'm home.

Oh, It's a feast tonight!

I know! Shinobu helped make dinner.

Me too! Me too!

I can't wait to eat it.

Shinobu, you should just join our family.

Besides, I've always wanted a daughter.

Thank you so much.

You already have a daughter, remember?!

I don't deserve such an offer.

That means Kaede and I will have family ties.

Shinobu's Heartfelt Diary

I must write this happiness in my heartfelt diary!

Shinobu.

You must be exhausted from today.

You can bathe first.

A bath?!

Bath A bath?!

Bath

Shinobu, wanna wash each other's backs?

A bath... A bath...

Will she hate me if I say we should take one together?

Let's take one together!!

Oh, I said it...

Such intensity!

Sure, okay.

Yay!

Oh, hell yeah! Yay!

Oh, hell yeah!

Intruders!

Donald magic!

Nice control!

Hey, Shinobu!

How long do you intend to stay out!

Hurry up and come home!

Or else, I won't be able to write off...

...the taxi ride that brought us here as a company expense!

No! I'm the one who paid for it!

Onsokumaru, how dare you...

I thought you...

...were better...

...than that!

You're terrible, Onsokumaru!

I can't believe you had a meeting to kick her out! You're such a bully!

What? I don't know what you're talking about!

I know nothing!

I'm not listening!

A meeting to kick Shinobu out?

Sasuke, did we talk about something like that?

Today's meeting was about...

...exterminating the rats, cockroaches, and other pests that are breeding.

We talked about having Shinobu leave the manor while we exterminate them...

...because we thought she might get upset about killing them.

Oh...

That's what it was! I guess I jumped to conclusions.

Jeez, don't surprise me like that.

But I'm happy for you, Shinobu!

So, I got beat up for nothing?!

Umm... Kaede...

About what we were talking about earlier...

Oh, taking a bath?

Then let's go take one.

What? A bath?

Hey, Onsokumaru, will you wash my back?

Oh, mine too, please. Onsokumaru.

Leave it to me, Mademoiselles!

I'm at your service!

Whoops! My hand slipped! Excuse me!

I'm going to take one with you!

No! You can't stop me!

Submit your all-natural selves to ME!

Um, w-would you like me to wash your back?

Yes, please.

Okay!

It feels really good...

Excuse me... My hands slipped...

It's okay! Don't worry!

Garbage dump

What are we? Trash?

I want to take a bath!

Shinobu, Kaede! Are you listening?!

Onsokumaru...

Do you think we're burnable trash... or non-burnable trash?

I think we'll burn...

Shuu tata shuu tata!

Hurry up!

Shuu tata shuu tata!

Gather around! Shugou

Made it in the nick of time, I slid in Giri giri seefu suberikonde

I jumped over the tough morning Kibishii asa wo tobikoeta

"What you said yesterday..." Kinou no hanashi

"...might have been a little white lie, " you said chotto duke uso kamo nante

I definitely have a long way to go with my training, Yappari shugyou busoku

Let's do it! Ganbarou

Turn turn turn, one day I'll become great Kuru kuru ri, rippa ni naru hi ga

Turn turn turn, turn turn turn Kuru kuru rii, kuru kuru rin

It's okay Daijoubu

"With prayer, flowers bloom," someone said Nenzureba Hana hiraku nante

It's an unreliable philosophy Tayori nai hitori goto

But I've got to try! Demo ganbaranakucha

Shuu tata shuu tata!

Hurry up!

Shuu tata shuu tata!

Break it up! Kaisan

Hurry up!

Kaede, would you like to become a ninja?

Why are you asking all of a sudden?

No? I thought I could go through with the hard training...

...if we could do it together...

Does anything good happen if you become a ninja?

Umm, bananas won't count as a dessert on your field trips.

It'll open up your mind, and you'll allow pineapple chunks...

...to be in your sweet and sour pork.

What the heck?

Next episode of 2x2=Shinobuden!

“Ninjas Hate the Heat" and...

...'"Miyabi in Love".

Ninjas Mate the Hear Miyabi in Love ...'"Miyabi in Love".

Ninjas Mate the Hear Miyabi in Love

Ninjas Mate the Hear Miyabi in Love You'll become good friends with Onsokumarul!

Ninjas Mate the Hear Miyabi in Love I'll pass.

Ninjas Mate the Hear Miyabi in Love