Original subtitles

Congratulations on choosing to enhance your sexual relationship by watching

this program.

For many couples, talking about sex is not easy.

Sinclair Instructional Films, produced in collaboration with leading sex

educators, therapists, and doctors, provide the most accurate, up-to-date

sexual health information available today.

And they help facilitate a sometimes difficult conversation with your partner

about sexual needs and desires.

Watching these videos together is also a fun way to stimulate new ideas you and

your partner can explore.

Since 1991, Sinclair has provided millions of viewers with an opportunity

to better their sex life.

Institute programs have won numerous awards and received international

recognition from organizations that promote sexual health.

But the real reward is hearing over and over again from our viewers about

increased intimacy and joy in their relationship.

Thank you for watching, and we wish you and your partner a lifetime of happy,

healthy sex.

Oral sex is a total gift of pleasure, unlike any other.

I think oral sex is a lot more intimate than even intercourse. It's really

important.

If there's ways to learn how to be more intimate, I would love to know.

If you want oral sex, you have to tell your man you want oral sex. You have to

communicate about your wants and your needs.

There's nothing more of a turn-on than seeing my wife get turned on. Let's face

it, oral sex is probably the best way possible.

It doesn't just happen. You have to talk about it, and you have to want to make

sex a priority, good sex a priority.

Oral sex is probably my favorite thing in the world. It's the best thing in the

world. Period.

Welcome. One of the most sensual oral sex acts is kissing.

The feel of your lover's lips caressing your own mouth can be extremely erotic.

Kissing takes on a whole new meaning when you leave the mouth behind and

start to explore the rest of your partner's body.

Some of the greatest moments of being a human creature on this planet have been

just lying back and getting an awesome blowjob. What I love about giving a

blowjob though is that he is totally submissive and I am totally in control

of the situation and I get to do what I want to do.

It was just really...

and then you start feeling better because you're like, dang, I'm getting

pretty good at this.

And it's good.

I wouldn't give up for a second sharing that with my husband in a monogamous,

you know, wonderful relationship. I think it's really important.

Take your time. This isn't a race to the finish line savor it

Start with some teasing kissing and touching her

body her neck her breasts her stomach Anticipation is a

fabulous aphrodisiac Be aware of your lover and how she's responding

listen to what she's telling you with her sounds with her body If you sense

some self-consciousness, take your time.

Gently open her legs and take a long look at her vagina.

Tell her how beautiful it is. Then slowly, you can begin to work your

magic. The more comfortable she is, the more intense her pleasure will be.

You know I love the balcony.

Women and their vulvas are very complicated, and they all respond to

different types of... touch different types of firmness different types of

lots of different things so the best thing to do is explore your partner's

body try a lot of different things ask some questions have some fun and they'll

be a huge payoff for both of you

the

vulva is the woman's genitals and that includes everything including the vagina

The vulva is everything on the outside, so that includes the clitoris. The vulva

also has the outer lips and the inner lips called the labia majora and the

labia minora.

And those can also experience a lot of pleasure because there's nerve endings

there. But then we can also talk about the perineum, the area that extends from

the vaginal opening to the anus. And that area can also be extremely

pleasurable with certain types of stimulation.

The longer you spend using your tongue around her vulva, the more intense it

will be when you finally get to her clitoris.

As she becomes aroused, run your tongue between the inner and outer labia on one

side of the vagina, then the other.

Try sucking the outer lips gently into your mouth.

Flick your tongue lightly back and forth from just below her vagina, over the

lips and back, only just grazing her clitoris. Keep your tongue relaxed and

soft. Many women can't get enough of this kind of attention.

The labia and the vaginal opening are very sensitive and get more so as they

get aroused.

Now try pointing your tongue a bit and gently inserting it in and out of the

vaginal opening, rotating it around the opening while licking the labia.

Alternate long licking motions with your tongue soft and flat, with light

flicking movements back and forth with your tongue more pointed. Again, take

your time and pay attention. Even if she isn't saying anything, your lover's body

will tell you what pleases her the most.

So cunnilingus is like one of his really, really, really fun, good things

that he does extraordinarily well. I call him the magic tongue.

He's my own little sex toy.

But I think it's a very, very important thing for a lot of women. Cunnilingus is

a great piece of a relationship between a man and a woman.

Majority of the time, it's focused more on the clitoral stimulation, whereas

intercourse does not normally entail clitoral stimulation on its own.

Well, I would say oral sex in general really is, it's not anything like

intercourse because it's something that you are specifically giving and

sometimes not receiving.

You know, it's more of a personal thing that you're giving to your partner.

I'm right there.

Right there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just stay right there.

In order to get oral sex really working in my relationship, I definitely had to

do a little directing here, a little directing there. If something feels

good, I'm going to let you know because you're going to hear it from me. Right.

Okay? And to expect a man to find, you know, the roadmap on their own, you

can't do that. You have to know your own body.

With a little practice and a whole lot of fun, men can really take the pleasure

zone of their partner up a whole new altitude.

And now that you've scratched that surface, maybe it's time to try

something more adventurous.

Before using your tongue, gently touch and massage the clitoris with a wet

finger. As she becomes aroused, you may feel the clitoris stiffen and become

erect. Try a very light touch at first, then over time, apply a little more

pressure. after a bit replace your finger first with your lips then with

your tongue try licking her clitoris in a circular motion or making little

figure eights see what makes her moan what makes her move her hips with

pleasure vary the speed and pressure a little Unlike with the penis, the

clitoris is more likely to respond to soft, slow, and steady touches, so be

gentle.

At least at first, then you can increase the speed and pressure to suit her.

Remember to mix things up.

Along with licking, kissing and gentle sucking will also add to her pleasure.

Try gently sucking her clitoris between your lips and lightly flicking your

tongue back and forth across the tip.

Just watch out for those upper teeth and keep your tongue relaxed.

A soft tongue will feel better, at least at first.

Get creative with your tongue.

Try spelling out words on her clitoris. You can even get her to try and guess

what you're spelling. You are so hot might be a good first try.

Pay attention to how your lover moves when you're stimulating her clitoris. If

her movements are slow and rhythmic, you're doing it right.

If they're jerky, spasmodic, she might be telling you to back off a bit or

change your focus.

And just keep in mind that as a woman ages, her clitoris may become extra

sensitive. So it's important for women to let their partners know if they

should slow down, lighten up, or even take a break.

Using your fingers along with your tongue can really ramp up her pleasure.

For example, try stimulating the opening of her vagina while licking and sucking

on her clitoris. Or, after she's really aroused and well lubricated, even slide

two fingers deeper into her vagina and up towards her G-spot.

Depending on your position, you may need to stop what you're doing with your

mouth for a moment, but it will be well worth it.

Oral sex pretty much leads it on. It leads on to, you know,

regular intercourse.

I think it's important to do that first because then you get more heated and

turned on.

I believe oral sex is definitely sex.

There's been times where I've been satisfied even just giving orally to

where it's kind of more of a mental orgasm. I don't even necessarily need to

do anything myself or complete myself. I get a lot of fulfillment just out of

that. So it's definitely a whole other form of sex rather than just not

necessarily just a precursor, but it's also that as well. It gets the intimacy

going and the sexual energy moving.

So in addition to stimulating the clitoris with cunnilingus, with your

tongue, a lot of women really enjoy penetration.

So to stick a finger, a vibrator or a dildo inside the vagina and stimulate

the G-spot while you're giving a woman oral sex can be just mind-blowing. A lot

of women really respond to that kind of stimulation.

It's true that a bed may be made for sleeping but that doesn't mean oral sex

has to be taken lying down.

Trying some new positions can be a great path to experiencing your partner in a

whole new way.

Oral sex for me is very important in our relationship.

It's good foreplay.

Pretty much amazing.

Can't have it without the oral sex.

For me, oral orgasms are different because he can use his tongue on my

clitoris and his fingers at the same time.

So that works out really good.

Yeah, I've noticed that the tongue and the fingers work really well for you.

Yeah, they do.

I think you can keep your sex life alive just by trying new things.

All the time being open with each other and, yeah, just being open with each

other. It helps when you both have the same sex drive, but if you don't, it's

nice sometimes if your partner's in the mood and you're not just to work with

them because I'm sure the favor will turn around and your benefit sometime.

a lot of fun can be had by experimenting with other positions this variation of

the basic woman on her back position allows the man to have greater access to

his partner's vagina and clitoris and also more freedom to use his hands to

caress and stimulate her breasts vagina and if she likes it even her anus

one thing to remember is that Once you've found that spot and that

technique that is bringing your partner closer to orgasm, keep doing whatever it

is you're doing.

Variety is great at the beginning, but consistent stimulation may be the most

pleasurable for many women as they become more aroused.

men lie on your back on the bed or on the floor with a pillow under your head

and have your partner position herself right over your face then she can lower

herself down to your mouth and tongue a lot of women like this position as it

affords them greater control over where his tongue goes and how much pressure

they feel It's also a perfect position to permit the man's tongue to penetrate

deeper into the vagina, which can be intensely pleasurable for both partners.

Men, try alternatively softening and stiffening your tongue as a variation.

The clitoris is very sensitive and she'll feel every nuance.

A whole different set of sensations can be experienced by having the man get

behind his lover, whether on the bed, with her in a doggy-style position, or

with her standing, bent over the couch or bed, and him kneeling behind her.

This gives the man access to her vagina, her perineum, and her anus. We'll talk

more about that in a few minutes.

Oral sex was something that I had to learn.

Actually having somebody that can help you kind of through it, telling you what

she wants and what's good for her.

You know, we're all different, and some women like it hard and rough, and

me in particular, I like it kind of soft, and I want to be teased, and I

want to build my way up. And when I feel that sensation,

I'm going crazy for the next step.

For the more adventurous couple, you might want to try standing up and

bending over in the full moon position.

This is not as difficult as it looks and gives the man wonderful access to his

partner.

The most important thing about cunnilingus is open and honest

communication.

Talk to your partner. Let them know what feels good and what feels great.

The result could be a whole new world of pleasure for both of you.

Now there's really no wrong way to begin fellatio.

And all of us probably have our tried and true methods.

But for all of us, variety is the spice of life.

So try something new.

Oral sex is probably my favorite thing in the world.

Receiving and giving.

It's hard for me just to lie back. I always feel like I have to do something,

you know.

So I have to force myself, you know.

to lay there and be pleasured. And she'll tell me, just lay there, babe,

just lay there, you know. To watch them lay back and their eyes roll back. Yeah.

You know.

Do that pleasure.

We just need to be together in the moment. His penis is in a warm, wet

spot, and that's where it wants to be. It's really its favorite thing, and it's

there.

Remember, the amazing thing about using your mouth on your lover's penis is that

like your vagina, it's warm, wet, and inviting.

But your mouth also has lips you can control and a tongue.

Keeping your mouth loose, begin moving your head around. His penis will get a

whole range of sensations as it hits your tongue, your cheek.

While you're doing this, try teasing him by dragging your nails ever so lightly

up the inside of his thighs, over his scrotum, and around to his pubis.

It's trial and error in communication. You got to talk to your partner and go

through each step and find out what turns them on more than anything else.

For maximum creativity, tease him.

Try starting with what's often called the butterfly flick.

It involves grasping the base of his penis with your hand, pointing your

tongue, and flicking it from side to side, moving your focus from the head to

the shaft.

Try teasing the underside of his penis head, what's known as the frenulum.

super lightly with the very tip of your tongue barely making contact then

flicking your tongue in one light upward lick and then backing off for a few

seconds let him feel the warmth of your breath keep him wanting more

there is one area that tends to be particularly sensitive it's called the

frenulum and that's that little area it looks like a little v on the underside

of the penis

one variation is to approach his penis sideways alternate licking with an

occasional nibble on the sensitive skin on the underside of the shaft pay close

attention to your man's reactions what makes him moan what makes his penis

throb with pleasure communication as always is key a lot

of men experience a lot of pleasure when you

fondle or tickle or touch his testicles in certain ways of course you want to be

careful and then there's the perineum which is the area right at the base of

his penis between the base of his penis and his anus and a lot of men experience

some great pleasure when you put pressure in that area

when i perform fellatio i think it's really important to use

a lot of tongue because so much of the nerves are are stimulated by that light

touch and you can turn your partner on so much more by teasing them and and

having them anticipate you touching them um more than actually you know shoving

at your mouth so for me i love it and it turns me on because then i can see his

reaction i can see that he's he wants it even more and i love how wet she gets

after after she's done i get really turned on but i love especially licking

licking the head looking at the frenulum um

I love licking his scrotum.

That's a lot of fun. I think it's my favorite. Yeah, that's a lot of fun. Add

that in with the hand.

But you've got to mix it up. You have to slow it down and speed it up. You can't

just do the same thing.

As your partner gets more excited, try taking his penis deep in your mouth,

moving your head up and down in a steady motion while moving your tongue side to

side against the underside of his penis.

Oh.

The practice of taking the whole penis in your mouth usually called deep throat

can be very pleasurable for your man But difficult if you're not used to it or if

he has a particularly large penis Lying on your back with your head off the edge

of the bed Elongates the throat and makes it easier for some women to

accomplish this At first, many women find that trying to do this triggers

their gag reflex, but with practice, you can learn to relax your throat muscles.

If your lover pushes too hard and you find yourself gagging, pull back, let

him know, or better yet, show him how deep you can go without making you gag,

and ask him to be gentle the first few times you try this.

And if you find it just too uncomfortable, try wrapping your hand

around the base of his penis which will effectively shorten the portion that

goes into your mouth.

Mutual oral stimulation, what most of us call 69, is a great variation on oral

sex. It's not for everybody.

Some people find it distracting, but for many, the sensation of making your lover

feel so good while being pleasured at the same time is just plain fabulous.

The simplest, some would say the most popular, position is both partners lying

on their sides, their heads conveniently positioned at the level of the other's

genitals, upper leg raised and knee bent.

This gives each partner great access to the other's genitals and isn't too

physically taxing, so it's great for those of us who are a little older.

There are many other variations on 69 sex.

You are only limited by your imagination and flexibility.

Sometimes women prefer to be on top in 69 because that way they can control how

deeply they take their lover's penis in their mouth.

I love being on top in 69.

Guy, I'm creative. I do stuff with my tongue, my head, my hands. And also I

can move on him in a way that I know how I feel good. So I can move my hips, I

can grind a little bit.

You know, and I'm also feeling his energy, though.

You know, where he's at and what he's wanting to do.

I feel the same way. I like to be on the bottom, you know.

Do you? Oh, yeah. It's more convenient, you know, for me.

And if you see my face, I like it, you know.

Yeah, very good.

If you're feeling particularly ambitious and you've been going to the gym, you

might try the standing 69.

Remember, this is for strong backs only.

Have your partner kneel at the edge of the bed. He can assist you as you roll

up into a headstand.

Take a firm grip on your partner with both arms and slowly lift her up while

moving into a standing position.

This gives him great access to her vagina and clitoris while she takes him

in her mouth.

And because her neck is extended, it may be easier for her to take the length of

her lover's erection into her throat.

Okay, we've focused on oral genital contact.

One of the things about oral sex that's so exciting is how the different parts

of your body respond to your lover's tongue and mouth, and that includes your

anus. Some people think it's taboo, but others really enjoy it.

I mean, I've had it done to me before where it was pleasurable.

It's not something to me that... I think my concern is, like, I get very self

-conscious. I love having...

him go down on me and perform oral sex when there's a butt plug in.

I like that.

There are a variety of positions that work particularly well for analingus.

The most obvious is lying between your partner's legs with him or her on their

backs, legs pulled back and spread.

Some men and women feel vulnerable when having their anus played with, so take

your time and give your partner a chance to relax and get used to the feeling.

As they do, try making concentric circles around the outer area of their

anus. Try pointing their tongue and teasing his anus directly, licking and

kissing it.

Try stroking his penis while licking his anus.

This drives many men wild and can bring him to an explosive orgasm.

The

woman

lying on her back is always a tried and true position for analingus.

Another position that works really well is having your partner on all fours in

front of you in a doggy-style position on the bed while you lie on your stomach

behind them.

Have them lower their chest to the bed, which will expose both their genitals

and their anus, ready for your tongue.

Here Trish and Falco are using a liberator shape.

but you can also use a pillow to raise her backside up a little for even easier

access. This visual is hugely erotic for a lot of men and a great position for

both anal and vaginal stimulation.

Just remember, once you've begun touching or licking her anus, don't go

back to her vagina without first washing so you don't risk transferring bacteria.

That said, let your partner guide you as to how far to go.

If she wants you to, once you've gotten her anus nice and wet, try licking your

finger and then massaging her anus and even inserting it gently inside if she

wants you to, but you must be gentle.

Once you have begun touching her anus, you can massage her clitoris for double

the pleasure.

So we've covered a lot of ground here, but we haven't talked about what I would

call extras.

I'm talking about those little things that might not be on the menu every day,

but come out on those special occasions and really kick the whole oral

experience up a notch.

I refer to them as the three T's.

Toys, temperature, and taste.

I have to say that whenever I'm doing a blow job, I try to incorporate different

temperatures, different...

like ideas. My favorite thing, and it's so mean, I buy an Altoid box and I shake

it in front of him ahead of time so he knows that at some point, those Altoids,

it's amazing.

It's absolutely amazing.

All I need is a single Altoid and I will rock his world.

It's incredible.

It is absolutely. I like Paul's mentholated cough drops.

I've never tried it and what I like are the like the lubricants that warm up

because like they have a heating element you like blow on them and they heat up

and so you can go from like a cooling sensation to a warming sensation and

back and forth and that knocks their socks off every time you put a little

bit a little place and then a little bit in a different place and there you're

going.

Just as our genitals are sensitive to touch, they're also very sensitive to

temperature. Let's call this first oral sensation the Eskimo dance.

Take an ice cube and slowly melt tiny drips along your partner's body.

The combination of hot desire and cold water is sure to get her going.

Try surprising your lover with a game of hot and cold licks.

But turnabout is fair play.

This time, try sucking on a popsicle and have fun with it. Really work your mouth

on that popsicle.

Let him know what he's in for. Then replace the popsicle with his penis.

Either way, you are both sure to have a shivery good time.

You can try the opposite by drinking some hot tea before going down on him,

so your lips and tongue will be really warm and wet.

Always a welcome sensation.

A different kind of beverage can lead to another kind of pleasure.

Swish a little cognac in your mouth. This will definitely give him a tingle.

You may enjoy this as much as he does.

And speaking of tingly tastes let a strong mint dissolve on your tongue.

Then, only when you've finished it, hold his penis tight in your mouth with the

length of your tongue pressed up against his entire shaft.

It'll give him a tingly sensation that he might really like.

I like having complete control when I'm performing oral sex.

So I can determine when he's going to come.

He always tells me, he gives me signals and tells me he's getting ready to come

and I can change the rhythm and determine when he actually is going to.

But I love having him come in my mouth. For one, it's just so sweet. Well, you

know, as far as, I'm glad you enjoy it like that. I wish I could enjoy it like

that. It sounds really good, but I'm not.

I don't like all that in my mouth. I get the pleasure of the fact that he's just

so over the moon about the fact that he's just like, this is fantastic.

And it works for him and it works for me.

Granted, it's not an everyday thing.

You know, it's like a holiday treat.

For a lot of women, semen is sort of an acquired taste.

Some grow to love it, some tolerate it, and some hate it. As far as whether it's

okay, Assuming your partner is healthy, there's no reason not to swallow.

Oh, that's it.

That's it, babe.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes.

The last of the three T's is for toys.

And who doesn't like toys?

My husband doesn't use any toys on his own. It is literally either toys that he

uses on me or toys that we use together.

He's big on toys that work as a couple. But he is one that believes it enhances

our relationship. The vibrating glove has been my extent as far as using toys

with oral sex. You know, a great addition to oral sex is to take a

vibrating bullet, even with the one-touch simple ones, and if you put it

right here, it'll make your whole mouth vibrate.

I think that toys can be just so much fun. I mean, you can do so many

different things, and there's so many different kinds of toys out there to

use, and I think there's a time and a place for them. There's a time where,

you know, let's pull out the trunk. Let's just get everything out and have a

lot to play with, and let's get you... just completely overstimulated and then

there's a time to just put it all away vibrators come in all sizes and shapes

this tongue vibe is a powerful experience that comes in a tiny package

this little helper will give a whole new meaning to the term good vibrations

This feels good, right?

The dental vibrator is another great little secret

for driving your partner wild.

And it's easy to find tiny ones on soft latex rings that you can put on your

finger or tongue.

that's a little on the intense side

Whether it's in the bedroom or the shower, In front of the fireplace or in

the privacy of your own hot tub, oral sex at home is great.

But once in a while, it can be fun to take things to another place.

A visit to a public place like a museum or a drive in the country is a great way

to spend some quality time together.

Now.

Fantasize about what you would like to do with each other when you're there.

This is important to a relationship and can lead to greater intimacy when you

return home.

Then, as your lover caresses your body, let your mind wander back to your

earlier excursion. Only this time, let the fantasy take over.

Try a dark and deserted corner of a semi-public place for a little oral R&R.

A little bit of danger can go a long way towards spicing up your sex life.

When the coast is clear, make your move.

Almost getting caught can be a big part of the turn-on.

Mm-hmm.

Just like that, you've painted your own masterpiece.

But who needs a roof over your head when there are stars overhead to light your

fire? A hot car and a hotter lover make for a great oral sex fantasy.

Wow, nice spot.

You're right.

Taking it to the street fires up your passion for one another to a whole new

level.

Caution! All this oral sex may lead to intercourse.

Just remember not to lock your keys in your car.

Well, that seems like a good place to end this exploration of the finer points

of oral pleasure.

We hope you've learned something and feel inspired to go play yourselves.

Remember, this is all about pleasure.

The key is to listen to each other. Be responsive to your lover's needs while

being generous about sharing your own, and the rest will just happen.

Experiment. Try whatever seems like it might be fun.

I would say for me, I mean, oral sex has always been a big part of intimacy, you

know, but I think after marriage, it's also become a really good means for us

to have some time together.

And especially with the complications of married life and children and everything

else, it's a way for us to be able to continue to get intimate, even under

pressured circumstances.

Yeah, I mean, I jest about it, but in reality, I mean, I can't imagine

not having that be part of our sex life. I can't imagine it.

I wouldn't have a sex life without it.

You know, I think a lot of people, too, they don't feel they're good at it or

they don't feel they know enough. It's their own insecurities that cause it in

a relationship.

Learn about it. It's something you learn. Practice, practice, practice.

It's not something you're born with and it's like, oh, I know how to do this.

It's learning. And it goes both ways.

You've got to learn.

I listen well. I have a tool. Well, but women have to communicate.

That's the communication part of it. Exactly. We have to communicate what

works for us and every woman is different. We are the most complicated

creatures. Yeah, we don't, there's no way to just figure it out. We're all

different. She likes something different than she likes and she likes. And I

like, if you have the communication and you're discussing it, then you open up a

whole new world.

So thank you to our discussion group and to all of you who are watching. And just

remember, it only gets better with practice.

Bye.