Original subtitles

Morning, sleepyhead. I made you a coffee.

How'd you rest?

Good. Fine. Yeah.

Hey, that's good.

I haven't slept a wink in days.

Well, as you know, me and Janine broke up.

It's been an emotionally rough couple days.

Still processing, but I wanted to do the right thing

and give her some space, so I'm staying with Jacob.

And Melissa... and Caleb.

To be honest, I don't really know what's going on.

I'm just putting one foot in front of the other.

But no one is taking it harder than Jacob.

Morning!

Okay. This ain't a Motel 6, and I ain't a maid.

So why don't you pick up your crap

instead of standing there looking like a wartime widow?

♪ Morning! ♪

Good morning, sunshine!

Oh.

Dude, we gotta get you out of this funk, man.

Are you time?

What?

Are you time itself?

'Cause that is the only thing

that will get us out of this funk.

Hey, um, does anybody need the bathroom

or can I hop in the shower?

Gregory, I would sooner piss my pants

than get in the way of you doing whatever you need to do.

Okay, buddy? Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

We are all suffering under the weight of an immeasurable loss,

and everyone's just boppin' around here

like nothing's happening.

I'm with you, man! I'm feeling this, too.

Who wants smiley-face omelets?

Ooh!

♪ Your smiley-face boy does! ♪

Mm. Good morning.

Hey! Good morning. How'd you sleep?

Your couch continues to suck,

but I took enough edibles last night

to sleep pretty much anywhere, so I'm feeling pretty great.

Good. How about you? How you feeling?

Uh... bad. Sad?

I don't know.

Honestly, I think I'm still in shock, so...

After I said we should break up,

Gregory and I just spent the rest of the night in silence.

And then, in the morning,

he said he was gonna give me my space.

I didn't think our first big fight

would be our last big fight, but...

I don't know.

At least you get to to to work and take your mind off things.

He works next to me. And that's on you, bitch.

Who told you to date a co-worker?

But things will get better. I promise.

Yeah.

And I think I'm gonna brave the teachers' lounge today.

There you go!

Thank you so much for staying here and just being with me.

Please. Where else would I be?

Yeah.

So my lease was up on my old place,

and my new one doesn't start for another week, so...

But I'd be here anyway because Janine is my girl.

But the timing really did work out for me personally.

I mean, he almost ran me off the road.

I'm telling you. Ridiculous.

Janine... I know you're going through a breakup.

But you know the rules.

You can't sit here. Yeah.

It's nothing personal, kid. It's like a seniority thing.

This is the big kids' table.

I know. Okay. Sorry. Okay.

Yeah.

Morning, Gregory.

Ah, ah, ah, ah. Sir, you know the rules. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

I just need the chair.

It's for my bag! It's for her bag.

Oh, I am verklempt.

You know, in all these years, I've never sat by this window.

I could use some vitamin D.

Oh. It only took 15 years, but I finally got my seat back!

What the hell going on in here?

In the words of Chinua Achebe, things fall apart.

Love is no more.

Somebody that knows how to answer a question. Please.

Gregory and Janine broke up, and I got my seat back.

W-When?! Just now.

What?!

They broke up last week.

The number-four couple in the school breaks up

and it doesn't cross my desk?

That's prime-time gossip!

I got to get to my classroom.

I love choosing sides. But don't worry.

I'm Team Janine-- for now.

Oh, that... really isn't necessary, so...

What an incorrect opinion.

You're single now, which I used to be great at.

We're going out.

You know, I actually need to get back to my classroom, too.

And it's Thursday!

That's dance night at Rubensteins!

What a great day.

Can you two do something about this, please?

Nope. Jacob...

those are young people's problems.

And as you correctly pointed out,

we ought not to get our noses in the business

of young people's love lives. Hey, this is serious.

Okay? It's not a joke.

Do you see me laughing? Do you see anyone laughing?!

Oh, my gosh.

You know, you, like, spit when you said that.

Oh.

Mr. J, don't forget the white cheddar popcorn for tonight.

Like I'd remember.

Mm?

Oh, we're just gonna watch that, uh, latest "Avatar" movie,

that "Fire and Ash."

God, I wish Pandora was real.

Ooh. I saw that trailer.

Mm-hmm. And I love that shade of blue!

I'd join.

Yeah.

Okay. Barb, whom I love...

just can be a little tough to watch a movie with.

She asks too many damn questions.

But at least she'll be a buffer.

I thought I was gonna have to build a pillow wall

between me and Melissa.

Did you think we were watching the movie in bed?

That's what you thought.

Okay. You guys have a good day.

Buck up.

'Cause we are going out tonight.

Stand down, 'cause no, we are not.

He doesn't need to go out. He needs to stay in.

Hey. I told you guys not to come in here at the same time.

Somebody go.

The best way to get over a girl is to get under...

Whoa. Don't. ...the spell of a DJ.

Oh.

I'm good. Listen.

I know what you're going through, okay?

I've broken up with five women seven times this year alone.

Trust me. The club is the best medicine.

He's not trying to meet "dime pieces" at "the club"

to "impress" Mom and Dad.

He wants to be alone... in my room,

poppin' dark-chocolate cacao nibs, listening to Mitski.

I could maybe do one drink. I do beg your pardon.

Oh! Hey.

Hey, girl. You didn't go to work today.

Oh, I'm working from home. Ah.

I didn't know 911 dispatchers could do that.

Oh, it's frowned upon, for sure. But just for legal reasons.

Oh, okay. So, how was today?

How'd your trip to the lounge go?

Um... bad. Yeah.

Dang!

I'm sorry, girl. That sucks.

Yeah. But your co-workers, they all know, right?

Yeah.

Well, actually, Ava just found out,

and she's insisting on taking me out tonight.

911. What's the address of your emergency?

Mm-hmm. Okay.

A little ass-shakin' might do the trick.

Oh. Not you. Do not move him.

Where we going?

We're not going anywhere, okay?

I don't think I'm up for all that.

Okay, ma'am. Yeah.

Besides, Ava just says stuff all the time.

I doubt she actually meant it.

You don't have to yell.

Why aren't you dressed? I told you we're going out.

So, is he bleeding?

It's just like downstairs except upstairs.

Y'all really thought y'all did something.

What's up, phone sex?

Damn. You live here too?

With y'all broke asses.

Come in. Come in.

We have arrived for the "Avatar"!

Oh, good.

Gregory!

Nice shirt.

Do you think--

I'm so sorry.

Does it matter that I have not seen "Avatar" 1 or 2?

Only if you care to be a part

of the last bit of monoculture we have left.

We're a weaker society without it.

Mono what?

Ooh! Car's here.

Wait. Put these in your pockets.

It's vodka, gin, and rum.

Well, which is which?

What do you mean?

See? It's poppin'!

There's fine men everywhere.

This is where Gregory and I used to come for dates, you know.

Okay. Let's get you a drink, baby. Okay.

What you want?

Um, could I have one vodka soda, please?

Actually, no bubbles. That's too fun.

Can I have a vodka water? Oh, brother.

We'll have a round of Long Island iced teas.

Ooh!

I did an assload of research,

and this place has it all.

One-- It's open. Two-- vibes!

And three-- It has an ideal demo for my boy.

What do you think?

Oh, this is the first place Janine and I danced.

And four-- great track record!

Also, I learned there's only one thing that a white guy can do

at a Black club to make a good impression.

I bought a table!

Ballin' straight out of the gate!

And supporting Black businesses.

You know, with the money you are spending here tonight,

you could probably pay

first and last month's rent on an apartment.

Why would I do that? I already have a place to stay!

Now, to quote music legend Pitbull,

"Life is not a waste of time, and time is not a waste of life.

So let's stop wasting time,

get wasted, and have the time of our lives!"

We don't need to do--

Aah!

¡Dale!

Okay. Buckle up.

Who's ready for a third trip to Pandora?

Yeah!

Okay. Pause.

Where are they and who is the president?

Pandora.

And they haven't had an election yet.

Okay. Okay.

Does this TV get any bigger? I mean, can you zoom in?

Do you know how a TV works?

Oh, yeah. We're off to a great start.

I just want to watch a [bleep] movie.

Over there is where we lost the costume contest.

And back there, actually,

is where Gregory ordered garlic bread for the table.

It was a really big night for him.

Janine, look at me. Hear me.

From the moment you two got together,

I knew you were gonna break up. What?

So what you got memories here?

All the more reason to reclaim the space.

She's not wrong.

Tonight's the night to make new memories.

You got to embrace the single life.

Drink up.

Okay.

Oh. Yeah.

I think it was the right thing to walk away.

I-I don't know. It's-- It's crazy to...

It i-- It is crazy. It's very crazy.

It's not crazy.

I'll tell you what it is, though, in three, two...

I told them it's your birthday!

You get way more free drinks that way.

You are one trillion percent getting charged.

Ladies, join us. It is my friend's birthday!

Look. I-I don't need all this. I just wanted a drink.

This is the single life, buddy. Cheers.

Welcome to it.

You gonna cheers me or what, white chocolate?

I thought you said Zoe Saldaña was in this movie.

'Cause that woman is blue.

Zoe's blue-- in the movie.

Okay. Right?

And what is an avatar?

Okay. That's it.

Barb, listen.

We're really just trying to enjoy the movie.

So how about this?

If you got a question, just look it up on your phone

quietly, okay?

Hm. Okay.

I can take a hint.

Wasn't really a hint. It wasn't a hint.

You guys were right. I needed this!

I just feel, like, free and less tense.

And am I wildin' or have I never looked better?

Both things can be true. Get it, girl!

Uh-oh!

Oh. Oh.

Hey. What's up, lil' mama?

If you don't back up off of me with that uptown fade,

looking like Oscar Proud.

Nuh-unh. Unh-unh.

Were you trying to dance with my man?

Uh, was you trying to get in my face?

Bitch, back up!

Yeah. Better had.

♪ This is why I'm hot ♪

Oh, no! ♪ This is why I'm hot ♪

♪ This is why-- This is why... ♪ This is my [bleep]

This is why I'm hot. This is why I'm hot.

♪ This is why-- This is why-- This is why I'm hot ♪

Caleb! He is way too fragile for this, okay?

And that is not at all why he is hot.

We need to get him home and draw him a warm bath immediately.

It's okay. He's good.

This is the pinnacle of single manhood--

poppin' bottles at the club with your boys, bagging chicks!

I mean, look at him up there!

Hey, DJ! Turn this up!

♪ This is why I'm hot ♪ What, are you deaf?!

Turn it up!

Now, how'd they stay on those banshees?

Actually, it's stunt performers

in performance-capture suits.

You don't have to whisper. I paused the movie.

I said it's stunt performers in performance-capture suits.

And a lot of these online forums,

they are calling it a miracle.

Wow. I had no idea.

Mm. Great. So can we go now?

How did they get the Na'vi underwater?

They built a water tank to simulate oceanic movement,

much like on "The Titanic."

The film, not the boat. Common mistake.

That really enhances my viewing experience.

Mm.

Ew! Don't touch me.

Wait. Where you going?

Uh-- Uh, thank you.

Mm!

Hey! What's up, man? Look.

Play "This Is Why I'm Hot."

I already played it. Okay. But, like, again.

Nah. It's a killer. It's a killer.

Hey. Back up, man. Everybody in the club.

"This Is Why I'm Hot"-- Ok-- Okay. Okay.

You just got to spin it back. Back up.

And according to Reddit user HandStandBandAid51,

some Na'vi hands were rendered 10,000 times

for underwater close-ups. Okay. Enough.

We are less than halfway through this movie.

You just got to, like, watch the movie in silence

or hit the bricks so I can.

Caleb told me he's got a TV in Jacob's old room.

Ooh! Toodle-oo, Melissa.

I guess you do not want to know how they did the whales.

Wait.

H-How'd they do the whales?

All right.

They are called tulkun.

And although fictional, they are smart enough

to understand both hand symbols and spoken word.

Girl!

No [bleep] Hm.

You don't have to grab me, okay? I have rights. I'm a citizen.

Your friend is one push away from getting bounced.

Girl, are you good? Yeah. I'm fine, okay?

I didn't know they had so many rules in this bar

about pushing, okay?

They need to make a rule about being a weak-ass bee-itch!

Get her!

Hey. So this is obviously getting dark in a very bad way.

I think it's time that we go. She's clearly hurting.

She's fine. Let her work it out.

Go ahead, Janine, with your short self!

Did you just say short? To me?

I know you're not talking with your cheaper-than-Temu clothes

and a bag that I wouldn't carry groceries in.

Lil' Miss Used to Date an NBA Champion,

But Now Sleeps With a Member of the Geek Squad.

Lying about your degrees and your de-weaves.

That's an overnight-delivery polyester-ass wig.

Uh-huh. Yeah.

You ordering hair from a bald man.

She started so many failed businesses,

they had to put her ass in the damn mall!

Don't talk to me.

Whoo!

It's time to go.

Janine!

She lost her damn mind. This hair is expensive.

♪ ...ain't cause you not ♪

♪ This is why... ♪ Gregory.

Gregory! What? Oh!

Y-You need to get down.

This isn't Coyote Ugly, okay, bud?

People are starting to get mad.

No! No, no. Look at this guy.

He hyping me up. No. I'm telling you to get down.

Get down. I am gettin' down.

Get... Hey, yo, DJ.

Run that back. I've played it seven times!

Then play the remix.

Hey, yo. So I'm kind of a body-language expert.

And what I'm getting is that Gregory,

he's not in a good place. Yeah, you think?!

Gregory. Gregory.

Catch me. We got to go. No! Greg--

Oh, God. Gregory! Gregory! Greg--

Morning. Oh, my God.

What happened last night?

You got drunk as hell-- and mean.

Oh, God. I'm sorry.

You know, when I'm really sad and I drink a lot,

I kind of turn into my mom. Yeah.

You called the rideshare driver a dirty whore

when he wouldn't stop for fries. Oh, no.

And then you gave him one star.

Oh, God. That's his livelihood!

Yeah.

Aah! You slept over?

I had to. You need an intervention.

Look.

I think I'm having a really hard time with this breakup.

Yeah. Well, what are you gonna do?

'Cause this is unsustainable.

Do you want to get back with Gregory?

I can't, cause I'm the one who ended things

and... and he didn't push back.

So it doesn't matter what I want.

Well, we have work, so chop-chop.

You're out of lotion and makeup wipes and toothpaste.

Wait. I'm out of toothpaste? I just--

No. But I am. So I'm taking yours.

You were very mean to me last night.

Mm. You really were.

What's happening? Why are we at the school?

You begged us to come here. You said you could dunk.

That's ridiculous.

Did I do it? No.

Check out my boy Gregory. Check out my boy!

Let's go-o-o-o!

Caleb and Jacob: Greg! Greg! Greg! Greg!

Greg! Greg! Greg! Greg! Greg!

Oh! Oh. Oh. Oh.

Greg? Gregory?

And you just... left me there?

You really didn't want to move, man.

I tried to give you a mat.

Y-You took the basketball, though.

I tried to. I couldn't.

I dunked.

Why is everybody always laughing at me?

I did. I swear. When you guys were passed out.

I'd show you, but my phone is dead.

Sure, Jakey.

Gregory, are you finally ready to admit

that you are going through it?

Yeah.

I am.

You want to get back with Janine?

I've always been told that if a woman says

that she doesn't want to be with you,

you don't push it and you don't beg.

You just accept it. So that's what I'm doing.

Ball's not really in my court.

I guess this is my life now.

Clubbing and waking up in gyms.

Oh, yeah. The freakin' dream, bro!

Insane be straight.

Oh, listen to this.

"Spider began shooting his scenes when he was 12 years old,

and he didn't finish until he was 16

because so much time had passed during production."

Oh, wow. Wow.

Yeah. Oh, gosh.

Where are you going? We only got an hour left.

Yeah, but because we've paused it every 12 seconds,

we got to go get ready for work.

What do y'all take in your coffee? Cream and sugar.

And, girlfriend, I need an outfit I can borrow, please.

Okay, but not the red leather one with all the zippers.

Those are pajamas. Do you need anything, Mr. J?

Nope. I keep that thang on me.

Oh, my God.

Okay. Can I get some of that?

What kind of night did you have?

Caleb and I went out with Gregory, and it was... a lot.

Okay. 'Cause I took Janine out, and her ass is crazy.

Talk about it.

Gregory thinks his life is partying and debauchery now.

I'm-- I'm at a loss.

Jacob, Janine said hurtful things,

things I couldn't even come up with.

And I take that personally.

They're both so, so sad.

Are we having the same thought right now?

We need to get--

Croissant breakfast sandwiches.

No. And then over breakfast, we can talk about

how to get Janine and Gregory back together. Y--

Have either one of you ever heard of a little film franchise

that I like to call "Avatar"?

Yes.

Whoo!

Did do you guys see that?

Guys?

Gaah!

Learned it all from "High School Musical."

Thank you, Troy Bolton.

Whoo!