Original subtitles

Ooh, you guys got compatible lovers.

Here that? Me and famed super model Iman

are compatible as lovers.

Inappropriate. And what is this?

It's Celebrity Celestial Sweethearts.

It's an app that determines your compatibility

with celebrities based on your birth chart.

You want to try?

Hell, yeah! Absolutely not.

Okay. When were you born?

When were you born?

Okay. I'm in. Go ahead.

And which celebrity would you like to...

Stanley Tucci.

Naturally.

It says you're doomed.

Mm.

See, that's why I chose not to participate.

Satan cannot get in if you do not unlock the door.

Check Jon Bon Jovi. Okay.

Also doomed.

You know what?

Bet you Mercury is in retrograde is what's happening.

Try me and Stanley Tucci.

Okay.

Says you're soul mates.

Hey, oh!

Up top.

Looks like that's trash.

Oh, no, it's April Fools Day.

Oh!

Dun dun dun!

Time for the worst person

you know to think they're funny all of a sudden.

I hate April Fools Day.

People shouldn't have to go an entire day in fear

of someone pranking them.

We even came up with this holiday?

Some...

idiot, that's who.

"Fool" was right there.

Speaking of fools, where is Morton?

Ha!

Every April Fools Day, Morton goes above

and beyond with his terrible pranks,

which makes him even more annoying than usual.

The only trick I want to see Morton pull

as a disappearing act straight out of my life forever.

Actually, he called out sick.

Right. Yes!

Good. I'm glad he's not here.

That man walks around here on April Fool's Day

like he's the king.

Your coffee, Ava.

I thought I told you to curtsy

when you bring this to me.

Is this my favorite flavor of that terrible kind you like?

Yes, Ava. Of course it's your favorite.

I'm just glad I can relax.

Don't have to worry about Morton and his God awful pranks.

Mm-hmm. Remember when he put toothpaste in the Oreos?

And I had ate five before I realized there was

no new fluoride flavor?

Yeah, or when he gave me the fake scratcher

to make me think I hit a jackpot.

I had already put a deposit down on my very own hot tub.

Well, with Morton gone, I'm sure it's going to be

a very nice and pleasant day.

Yes, ma'am.

Looking forward to a prank free day of peace.

You know, we don't have to look over our shoulder.

Are you okay? Are you all right?

Why?!

Who...

What on earth? What the hell?

You see, this is what I'm talking about.

Who would even think to do something like this?

Somebody who doesn't give a rat's ass about the environment.

I don't know. I kind of feel right at home.

Ooh, seems like the culprit left us a note.

"You thought you were safe. You're not!"

Flip it one more time to see if it's only addressed to you.

That is the handwriting of a child.

If it's kids doing this instead of Morton, it's worse.

They're nimble. And undivorced.

And there's way too many of them.

We'll never catch them all.

You need to do something, Ava.

We cannot have all of these pranks.

It's going to disrupt classes.

Oh, that sounds like a teacher problem

that has nothing to do with me because I don't get pranked.

Never have, never will. So if you need me, don't.

I'm gonna lock myself in the office for the rest of the day.

Um, keep the door to the teacher's lounge

locked from now on.

Godspeed.

All right, well, once again, it is up to us.

Maybe we can talk to the kids and get them to stop.

Mm.

You know what?

I'm not doing this all day with these damn kids.

April Fools Day needs to be eradicated,

and while I may not be able to bring it down nationally,

I can stop the bleed in my own classroom.

Action is imminent.

Ava, what are you doing?

What's it look like? Captains don't go down with their ship.

I hate practical jokes. It's why I became a prepper.

After all, what are natural disasters

if not Mother Nature's cruelest pranks?

I got a reputation to uphold.

I don't get got. Got it? Now protect me with your life.

Dia, don't walk away from me!

I'm walking to my desk.

Oh, well, take your post while I take my nap.

Is that an eye patch?

I have to sleep with one eye open.

Okay, so I know that April Fools Day is super fun,

but we need to focus on the fun work we have to do here today.

I'm talking word problems, people, right?

Now, who wants to tell me...

Uh... That's great, guys. It's good stuff.

It's a good one.

Okay, I take it back. This is not a good one.

Guys, this isn't a good one.

What kind of glue is this?

Now, you know that I have gotten into

my fair share of shenanigans.

Like when I was a kid,

I put a "for sale" sign in front of Pete Girardi's house.

And then someone offered his parents a boatload of money,

and they had to move, which was...

That actually was kind of sad.

But anyway, no one likes a good time more than your girl.

You know what I mean?

It's not that funny.

Okay, that is going too far!

Cowboys? That's not funny.

That is not...

Why won't it...

Some things... stop laughing.

Some things are not funny.

April Pool's Day.

Billiards anyone?

I don't know if you noticed, but your kids aren't here.

I did notice that.

But thank you, Mr. Johnson.

I'm trying to come up with alternatives

for April Fool's Day.

So what you got?

April Cools Day?

It's when everyone turns up their AC.

It's pretty chill. April Jewels Day.

It's when you wear your favorite jewels.

Ah, this one's fun. April Rules Day.

I thought you were serious about this.

That's it.

Mr. Johnson, you're a genius.

Tell me something I don't hear every day.

I don't know who's gonna see me.

Look. Oh, they got you with the glue, huh?

Yes.

You look like a little samurai

holding that thing.

What'd they do to you?

Those little menaces.

They hacked my Smart Board, and they put me in Cowboys gear.

Janine, give me a Kleenex.

Uh, Jacob, can you get it? It's a snap.

It's really easy if your hands aren't glued.

Thank you. You know what?

These pranks are worse than anything

Morton ever came up with.

We're not prepared for this.

This is a whole other level.

Yeah.

Who've they gotten so far?

Me, Gregory, Melissa.

Me!

I know they're saving a big one for me,

but I think I'm doing a pretty good job of playing it cool.

Aah!

I hate this day. I wish it would end.

Okay, okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait.

Have they gotten to Barbara yet?

Barbara.

Mmm.

Alright, we are going to read...

Yo, Barb! Are you okay?

Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?

They're pranking us with some serious heat.

Yeah, and you or I might be next.

Oh, nonsense, Jacob. I am Barbara Howard.

These children wouldn't prank me.

But, Barb...

And I thank you for your concern,

but I've got to read to my class.

All right.

Alright, now, remember, we say, "Excuse me."

That was you.

Ooh! What is happening to me?

Damn, Barb. What'd you eat last night?

Oh, my God, this is her worst nightmare.

Sorry.

Mm!

Oh!

Satan's vapors! I have been got!

Damn, Barb, a Whoopee Cushion?

That's the oldest trick in the book.

To be perfectly clear, it wasn't me!

I do not pass gas at work. Or ever.

Fart. Or ever.

A refined woman such as myself does not break wind.

She is the wind.

No, no.

Oh, this cannot be tolerated.

Look, I agree with Barb.

Look at my hands.

Damn, you ashy!

Oh. Jesus.

Is that leftover glue or shredded skin?

You know, it's funny you should ask.

It's a painful combination of both.

These kids are ruthless.

Tell me about it. They swapped my

mop water for Sprite.

Mopped the whole third floor before I even thought

of doing a taste test.

It's lemony fresh, but not the way you want.

Well, they still haven't gotten me yet,

which is somehow worse than getting pranked,

because every waking moment is an anxiety ridden nightmare.

Which maybe is the prank.

I don't think so, buddy.

Yeah. No.

Now what the hell are you doing?

If you got an ask, it's already over for you.

No, I can't take it anymore!

I'm gonna prank myself.

No! God, no! No!

The kids, they'll call you Mr. Pee.

I don't have any other choice.

Oh, God, no.

Oh!

The kids will think I've already been pranked,

and that'll be the end of it.

Uh...

Oh, you kids really did it this time!

Oh, God, I am so humiliated.

You made it look like I...

Is that my bike in the trophy case?

My God!

How?

They dismembered her.

Oh, they can't possibly do this all day.

"We can do this all day."

Oops. I found a mistake.

See, this is exactly what we're not going to do today.

The mistake was thinking that it was.

Welcome to Serious Day.

Dia, what's happening out there?

Is it dying down?

Last I heard, they put Miss Gibson's desk on the roof

and filled the librarian's hat with popcorn.

It's a bloodbath! This has got to stop.

Attention, students. Happy April Fools Day.

You've all had your fun, but this has gotten out of hand.

People are scared, and your beloved principal is in

isolation, so y'all need to wrap this up.

Seriously, guys.

I am offering 100,000 Robux

to be split amongst you to cease the pranking immediately.

Thank you.

These pranks have been too good to sell out.

Besides, I still have Robux saved from Christmas.

Okay, look, I would never ask youse to snitch.

In fact, I think these pranks have been really clever.

The kind of thing that's got your fingerprints all over them.

Flattered, but I'm not the ringleader.

Yeah, but I bet you got the juice to make it stop, huh?

So maybe we form an alliance.

Maybe you don't prank the middle school teacher

who wears her glasses in the super cool way.

It's not that cool.

Okay, fine.

I'll give you three bathroom passes to use however you want.

Hm, make it five.

Geez. Okay.

Can anyone guess the first tradition

of Serious Day?

Being serious?

Always. Before you prank, you think, with facts.

And then we prank?

No, no, no, no. No pranking.

The opposite of a prank is a fact.

And on Serious Day, we share facts.

Did you know that the fear of a long word

is called Hippopotomostrose- squippedliophobia?

Did you know that the chicken is

the closest living relative to the T-Rex?

See, all of these things

will make you forget about April Fool's Day, right?

Yeah.

Good, because we have even more Serious Day traditions

to look forward to.

One...

Staring contest.

Two...

Thumb war.

Which is an act of war. So it's very serious.

And maybe, just maybe, we'll listen to a little Sirius XM.

Put me in Commanders. I don't care.

Giants. Put me in Patriots.

Okay, well, not Patriots. But Dallas?

You don't do that.

Today has been rough.

Tell me about it.

Do you know how many pee puns there are?

And I still have to reassemble an entire bike to get home.

I just want to reiterate that flatulence

that you all heard was not me.

We know, Barb. It's okay. You can sit down.

The room's been locked. We're safe in here.

Oh, thank God for that.

I feel like I can finally relax.

Yeah.

♪ Here's a little song I wrote ♪

♪ You might want to sing note for note ♪

♪ Don't worry ♪

♪ Be happy ♪

Those little backstabbers replaced my branzino

with a Big Mouth Billy Bass!

Backstabbers?

Yeah, I cut a deal with Courtney so they'd stop pranking me.

Can't make a deal with a prankster.

So egg on your face.

Oh!

And flour on yours. Is that...

Yeah. It's flour.

Wait a second. How did this happen?

Teachers were the only people with a key to the lounge.

Which means...

An adult is helping the children.

Yes. Morton.

I bet this is all him from afar.

He lives in the walls.

Who calls out sick on April Fool's Day?

A sicko, that's who.

Somebody get him on the phone. and not me.

Because I do not have that man's phone number.

I got it.

Hi, Janine. Wow.

It's nice of you to call and check up on me.

Oh.

Hey, Jacob.

Cut the bull, Morton.

We know you're behind the pranks happening today at Abbott.

What pranks? I've been in the hospital for days.

It turns out staph infection is no joke.

In fact, it's pretty serious.

Okay, well, that's good. We'll talk to you later.

Wha...

Well, if it's not Morton, who could it be?

Melissa, are you gonna eat that?

Okay, look, if it's one of these guys,

just fess up so we can start the scolding and get it over with.

This has to be Ava. No one else could pull this off.

How? She's been locked in her office all day.

Yeah.

I find it suspicious that Barbara hasn't said anything

since she passed gas.

I did not pass gas!

And I'm beginning to think it was you, Mr. Johnson.

If I broke wind, everyone in here would know.

No. The pranks.

Oh, okay.

In that case, it wasn't me.

You know what?

I'm having a hard time believing that it wasn't Jacob.

Given how much you hate Morton and his favorite holiday.

Really? You think I would do this to myself?

Someone's going to think I'm doing whiteface.

That's true. It's not Jacob.

Well, maybe it's you, Janine.

Me? I'm too short.

Yeah. That's true.

It was Melissa.

Old shifty eyed Schemmenti.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Where's Gregory?

Yeah.

He hasn't been got since the Saran wrap.

Which he may have done to himself.

Mm-hmm. To throw us off his scent.

Genius really. Yeah.

Handsome genius.

There is no way that Gregory did this, all right?

He cannot stand April Fools Day.

So let's get real.

How well do you know him?

Really really know him?

Oh, my God, he did do it!

Okay, now that we've learned about the serious art

of refereeing, let's take a moment to have

a serious discussion about the fun

but strict rules of basketball.

Mr. Johnson: There he is!

Hold on. You guys here to check out Serious Day?

Got to say, it's a hit.

Zip it, silly boy. What?

Yeah, we're here because we know what

you've been up to, slick.

We know what teacher has been helping the kids

with these pranks, and you being cooped up in your

room all day has just been a little too suspicious.

Are you going gray?

How could you do this to us? To me?

Why would I be the one pranking y'all?

I was a victim, too.

Do you not remember when I almost broke my neck walking

through Saran wrap earlier?

Oh, that's what you wanted us to believe.

But we don't.

I understand you lying to Janine, but me?

I thought we had something.

Now, what's the point of being principal

if you got to make your own coffee?

This kid's got me talking to myself

like some kind of damn recluse or a loser.

Or Janine.

This tastes like vinegar!

Somebody tampered with this.

I've been... pranked.

I just got got. But how?!

Now, who would have known to put vinegar in my favorite...

I know who it is.

Look, y'all, it's not me.

Janine, I rode into work with you this morning.

When would I have had time to Saran wrap the whole lounge?

Yesterday after school.

We rode home together, and we watched "The Steve Harvey Show."

Oh, yeah, I forgot. That episode was so funny.

See, Regina, she couldn't take a hint that Ced and Lovita...

They didn't want her on the ski trip.

And so Steve was like...

Guys, guys, guys, look, while I, too, enjoy the comedy

of the Steve Harvey program, there is still a mystery afoot.

And if Gregory isn't behind all of this, then who is?

Probably whoever's doing that.

Oh, my God, now what?

What in the world?

All right, kids, just take a serious five.

Ah!

Somebody help me! I'm a child!

Oh, no, a child!

Janine, that voice does not belong to a child!

Where's Janine?

Janine? Who is doing this?

It's her! It's her!

Who? Dia!

Wait, so just to be clear, there's no child in here?

No?

Sorry.

So it was you?

You're responsible for all of these pranks?

Me and the kids.

When I learned Morton wasn't coming in,

I thought to myself, "Finally."

His pranks are weak, amateur, and childish.

Wait, wait. Did you poison Morton?

You can be honest with me. I get it.

What? No.

Well, the man is in the hospital.

Well, is he okay?

Oh, who cares? Let's get back to the point.

When he didn't come in,

I knew that this was my chance to take center stage

and show you what real pranks look like.

I love April Fool's Day.

In fact, I was literally born on it.

Wait, so today is your birthday?

And we forgot it every year?

Well... ♪ Happy birthday ♪

♪ To you ♪

Happy birthday. You're fired.

Really? After today?

April fools.

Well, this was fun.

All right, everybody, back up so I can clean this up.

Gregory, you want to tell us more

about this Serious Day thing?

Yeah, because I'm not going through whatever this was again.

So Serious Day was an idea that I got from Mr. Johnson.

I remember as a child

when I was watching C-SPAN with my father,

and my cousin tied my shoelaces together,

and I just couldn't let that stand.

Not bad form for a civilian.

Anything else before I head out?

No.

I just wanted to say you look radiant today.

Did you do something new with your lanyard?

No. Oh.

So those pranks you did were really good.

I was just telling O'Shon

we need to recruit you to prank his landlord.

Begging for money every month.

Grow up. Right? Am I right?

So, just to clarify, the pranks are done?

I don't know, there might be one hidden

around here I probably forgot about.

Cool.

That's cool.

There isn't a hidden prank.

But she'll always think there is.

Are you sure you don't want to ride?

Nah.

Might not know this about me,

but I'm a bit of a nerd for details.

Putting this thing together,

I dare say it's as easy as riding a bike.

All right, she's back!

Come on, kid, let's go.

Yeah. Okay. I'm right behind you.

Could you... Yeah. Never mind.

Delicious.