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1
00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:09,606
- WENDELL,
CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SEC?
2
00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:15,620
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO
ON AN ADVENTURE TO ENCINO?
3
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:18,516
- WHAT'S IN ENCINO?
- MY DENTIST.
4
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,359
I THOUGHT WE COULD SHARE
SOME QUALITY TIME,
5
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:24,525
YOU KNOW, IN THE CARPOOL LANE.
6
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:25,955
- NO, NO, NO,
WENDELL IS NOT
7
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,359
GONNA BE YOUR RIDE SHARE MONKEY.
8
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,761
WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR BLOW-UP PASSENGER?
9
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:32,233
- I LEFT HIM OUT IN THE SUN,
AND HE SPLIT.
10
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:33,603
- WOW.
11
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:36,741
EVEN YOUR INFLATABLE MEN
DO THAT.
12
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:38,707
ANYWAY, WENDELL'S GOT
A BIG MEETING TODAY.
13
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:41,006
- YEAH, I'M HEAD
OF THE SCHOOL DANCE COMMITTEE.
14
00:00:41,008 --> 00:00:42,778
- OH, THAT'S GREAT.
- YEAH.
15
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:45,206
I MADE A SOLEMN PROMISE
THAT I WOULD ACHIEVE SOMETHING
16
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:47,383
THAT'S NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE
IN A MIDDLE SCHOOL.
17
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,421
- A WEDGIE-FREE EVENING.
18
00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:52,717
- NO, A MIDDLE SCHOOL DANCE
WHERE EVERYBODY ACTUALLY DANCES.
19
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,290
- AND I'M GONNA CHAPERONE.
20
00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:57,828
I'VE BEEN PRACTICING.
NO! UH-UH.
21
00:00:57,825 --> 00:00:59,455
NO.
HEY, WATCH IT, FOOTLOOSE.
22
00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:02,460
SHE'S NOT A CARNIVAL RIDE.
23
00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:04,733
- HEY.
- OH, I WANT TO CHAPERONE, TOO.
24
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:07,372
I WANT TO GO
TO YOUR FIRST DANCE.
25
00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:10,638
- OH, FIRST DANCE.
I LOVED MY SCHOOL DANCES.
26
00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:12,438
- OF COURSE YOU DID.
LET ME GUESS.
27
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,010
YOU WENT TO THREE PROMS.
28
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:15,737
- THREE PROMS SOPHOMORE YEAR,
SEVEN TOTAL,
29
00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:16,883
HOMECOMING QUEEN TWICE,
30
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,277
ONCE AT A SCHOOL
I DIDN'T EVEN GO TO,
31
00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:20,179
BUT WHO REMEMBERS?
32
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:21,681
- I'M NOT INTERESTED
IN HEARING ABOUT
33
00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:23,622
WHEN YOU PEAKED AS A PERSON.
34
00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:24,747
- [scoffs]
35
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:25,952
THAT'S THE KIND OF STUFF
I USED TO HEAR
36
00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:27,963
FROM GIRLS
WHO NEVER GOT ASKED TO--
37
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,459
HEY, HOW LONG
HAS THAT SPACESHIP BEEN THERE?
38
00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:36,662
- YOU LIKE SPACESHIPS?
39
00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:37,974
I CAN TAKE YOU
TO THE MOON AND BACK
40
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:39,995
WITHOUT A SPACESHIP,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
41
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,940
NOT REALLY.
I'D NEED A SPACESHIP.
42
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,006
THE POINT IS, WE'RE GONNA
HAVE TO REPOPULATE THE EARTH
43
00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:47,835
WHEN WE GET BACK, SO...
44
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:50,181
- UNCLE VINNIE, WE GOT TO GO.
45
00:01:50,178 --> 00:01:51,578
- HANG ON,
I'M NOT DONE CHARMING HER.
46
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,580
ALL RIGHT, I'M DONE.
47
00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:57,592
[quirky brass music]
48
00:01:57,585 --> 00:01:58,585
*
49
00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:00,646
- * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
50
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,464
- * NEVER FELT SO GOOD
51
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,586
- * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
52
00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:07,362
- * NEVER FELT SO GOOD
53
00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:09,301
- * SO WAIT A MINUTE
54
00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:10,297
* HEY
55
00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:12,728
* I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
56
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,271
- WHO'S THE PARENT SUPERVISOR
FOR THIS THING?
57
00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:20,513
- MR. COLDFOOT.
58
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:21,778
- CALVIN COLDFOOT?
59
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:25,205
THAT GUY'S SO WEIRD!
60
00:02:25,213 --> 00:02:29,553
- THAT GUY'S STANDING
RIGHT BEHIND YOU, FABIO.
61
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:31,420
- CALVIN, BUDDY.
62
00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:32,989
UH, WENDELL'S AUNT WILMA
WAS WONDERING
63
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,116
IF THERE ARE ANY CHAPERONE
SLOTS STILL OPEN.
64
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:36,422
- NOPE, ALL FULL.
65
00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:39,234
JUST GAVE THE LAST SPOT
TO THE NEW MOM OLIVIA JAFFIN.
66
00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:41,127
[SIGHS]
THE SECOND I NOTICED HER,
67
00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:44,058
I SAW OUR FUTURE TOGETHER.
68
00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:47,244
STARING AT HER
ACROSS THE ROOM...
69
00:02:47,235 --> 00:02:49,735
- AND?
- THAT'S IT.
70
00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:54,610
- OLIVIA JAFFIN.
71
00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:56,238
I WONDER IF THAT'S THE SAME
OLIVIA JAFFIN
72
00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:57,954
I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH.
73
00:02:57,945 --> 00:02:59,245
SHE WAS WAY OUT OF MY LEAGUE,
THOUGH.
74
00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:00,747
THIS ONE TIME
I TRIED TO SPEAK WITH HER,
75
00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:03,378
ALL THAT CAME OUT
WAS THIS WEIRD SQUEAKY SOUND.
76
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:06,324
- VINNIE BASSETT, IS THAT YOU?
77
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:10,260
- [squeaks]
78
00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:11,458
HI.
79
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:17,428
- I HAVE A COMMITTEE TO CHAIR.
80
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:18,671
- IS THAT YOUR SON?
81
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:19,696
- NEPHEW, WENDELL.
82
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,170
I GOT CUSTODY. YOU?
83
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:23,698
- I DO HAVE A SEVENTH GRADER,
MATILDA. SHE'S A HANDFUL.
84
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:26,814
- OH, WELL, IS THERE
A MR. SHE SHE'S-A-HANDFUL?
85
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:30,707
- NO, NO, JUST GOT THROUGH
A PRETTY PAINFUL DIVORCE.
86
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:31,711
- [squeaks]
87
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,412
THAT'S TOO BAD.
88
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,924
- ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY,
LET'S GET STARTED.
89
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,886
UH, WENDELL BASSETT WILL BE DO--
90
00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:41,415
- THANK YOU, MR. COLDFOOT.
91
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:42,822
I AM VERY EXCITED
92
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:45,063
TO ANNOUNCE THE THEME
FOR THIS YEAR'S SCHOOL DANCE.
93
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,528
- OH, I ALREADY PICKED A THEME
FOR YOU: "UNDER THE SEA."
94
00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:50,298
WE CAN USE THAT BIG
STUFFED FISH FROM LAST YEAR.
95
00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:52,598
- BUT I THOUGHT THE STUDENTS
GOT TO CHOOSE THE THEME.
96
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,840
- THE PTA AND SCHOOL BOARD
HAVE FINAL APPROVAL SINCE 2011.
97
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:57,466
I THINK WE ALL REMEMBER
WHAT HAPPENED WITH
98
00:03:57,471 --> 00:04:00,641
BOOTY-LICIOUS BOOM BOOM, JIM.
99
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:06,345
- WELL, I PROPOSE THIS.
100
00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:10,447
"FANGS FOR THE MEMORIES:
A VAMPIRE DANCE."
101
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:11,451
- ARE YOU SURE?
102
00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:12,552
IT'S A PRETTY GREAT FISH.
103
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:15,593
IT'S GOT A HAT.
104
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,329
- WELL, I FOR ONE,
105
00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:19,585
THINK WE SHOULD LET THE KIDS
CHOOSE FOR THEMSELVES.
106
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,033
- OKAY, MAYBE I
DIDN'T MAKE MYSELF CLEAR.
107
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:24,469
THE FISH HAS A HAT.
108
00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:26,725
IT'S A DERBY.
109
00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:28,604
- I THINK VINNIE'S RIGHT.
110
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,342
THIS NIGHT SHOULD BE
FOR THE KIDS.
111
00:04:30,338 --> 00:04:31,838
all: YEAH.
112
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,039
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
113
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,180
BUT THIS ONE'S ON YOU,
HAIR CLUB.
114
00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:41,106
- HEY, LACY, HELP ME PUT
SOME OF THESE POSTERS
115
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,884
UP FOR THE DANCE.
116
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:45,123
- YEAH, SURE, SURE.
117
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:48,118
- ARE YOU STARING
AT SCOTT THOMPSON?
118
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,091
- NO.
119
00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:57,133
- OH, MY GOSH,
120
00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:00,800
YOU ARE TOTES
CRUSHING ON THAT BOY.
121
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,441
IF ONLY THERE WAS A PLACE
YOU COULD DANCE WITH HIM.
122
00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:06,137
HMM.
I DON'T REMEMBER.
123
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:11,980
- HE WOULD NEVER WANT
TO DANCE WITH ME.
124
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:14,919
YOU DON'T THINK HE WOULD,
WOULD HE?
125
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,375
- WANT ME TO FIND OUT?
126
00:05:16,384 --> 00:05:18,224
- NO, THAT'S CRAZY.
127
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:20,618
- HMM.
128
00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:24,261
- LET HIM KNOW I HAVE ACCESS
TO A GO-KART.
129
00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:25,757
- DO YOU?
130
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:28,399
- YOU LET ME WORRY ABOUT THAT.
131
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,472
- AH, YOUNG MR. BASSETT,
THERE YOU ARE.
132
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:36,268
- HEY, PRINCIPAL MIDDLETON.
133
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,239
- YOU KNOW, WENDELL, I ALWAYS
IMAGINED I'D HAVE A SON
134
00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:40,138
THAT LOOKED LIKE YOU SOMEDAY.
135
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:43,780
INSTEAD, I HAVE A DAUGHTER
WHO LOOKS LIKE CEELO GREEN.
136
00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:48,324
ANYWAY, THE WHOLE
ADMINISTRATION IS SO EXCITED
137
00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:49,415
ABOUT YOUR VAMPIRE THEME.
138
00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:53,187
WE LOVE IT EXCEPT A COUPLE
OF MINOR TWEAKS.
139
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,456
- OH?
- YEAH.
140
00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:56,215
CAN'T DO FANGS.
SAFETY ISSUE.
141
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,433
- BUT VAMPIRES HAVE FANGS.
142
00:05:57,425 --> 00:05:59,455
- AHA, THAT'S THE OTHER THING.
143
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:02,160
UH, YOU CAN'T SAY "VAMPIRES"
OR "DRACULA."
144
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:03,202
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
145
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,326
I RAN IT BY THE SCHOOL BOARD.
146
00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:08,842
YOU CAN SAY "NIGHT DUDES."
147
00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:10,236
- BUT YOU'RE TAKING AWAY
ALL THE THINGS
148
00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,007
THAT KIDS LOVE ABOUT VAMPIRES.
149
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:15,105
- AH, NIGHT DUDES.
150
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,438
- WHAT ABOUT FEMALE VAMPIRES?
151
00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:20,054
- AHA,
YOU MEAN LADY NIGHT DUDES.
152
00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:22,348
YOU'RE A SMART KID.
153
00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:23,779
YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
154
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:27,464
[phone vibrating]
OH, GETTING A TEXT.
155
00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:28,455
[chuckles]
156
00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:30,856
"CAN'T SAY NIGHT DUDES."
157
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,362
- HI, TARYN.
158
00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:38,133
- OH, HEY, NEIGHBOR.
159
00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:39,601
- OH, TARYN, THIS IS OLIVIA.
160
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:40,600
- HI.
161
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:44,471
- OH, UH,
OH MY HANDS ARE FILTHY.
162
00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:46,212
YOU KNOW HOW YOU JUST
START CLEANING EVERY ROOM
163
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:47,336
YOU WALK INTO,
AND THEN SUDDENLY,
164
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,510
THE WHOLE DAY IS GONE?
165
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:52,180
I'VE HAD SIX WEEKS OF THOSE.
166
00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:54,479
- YOU KNOW HOW YOU'VE ALWAYS
WANTED TO START A BAKERY?
167
00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:57,222
OLIVIA STARTED
TOTALLY AWESOME CUPCAKES.
168
00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:59,147
- [gasps]
THAT'S HUGE.
169
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:02,192
- SHE ALSO STARTED A CHARITABLE
FOUNDATION, ADOPTED A KID,
170
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:05,659
AND TAUGHT HERSELF
HOW TO BUILD A PIANO.
171
00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:06,929
- OH, WELL,
172
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,157
I FINALLY PUT A LEMON
DOWN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL.
173
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:12,102
IT TOTALLY TOOK CARE
OF THE SMELL.
174
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,939
SO PRETTY EXCITED ABOUT THAT.
175
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,635
- VINNIE AND I
WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER,
176
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:17,767
AND I WAS ON MY WAY TO WORK,
177
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,541
BUT HE WANTED TO SHOW ME
THIS WEIRD THING
178
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:21,310
THAT IS SUPPOSEDLY
IN OUR OLD YEARBOOK.
179
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:23,608
- I'M TELLING YOU, IF YOU GO
TO PAGE 16 AND DRAW A LINE
180
00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:25,611
CONNECTING EVERY PERSON
THAT WENT TO PRISON,
181
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,523
IT MAKES A STAR.
182
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,653
HEY, EVERYBODY,
THIS IS OLIVIA.
183
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:32,892
- WENDELL, YOU GOT TO CALM DOWN,
184
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:34,016
BREATHE.
185
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,691
- WHAT'S WRONG?
- PRINCIPAL MIDDLETON
186
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:39,329
PUT A STAKE THROUGH THE HEART
OF MY VAMPIRE THEME.
187
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:41,656
"NO BLOOD--
SEEN OR IMPLIED--
188
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:43,102
"NO FANGS,
AND NO CAPES,
189
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:45,096
AND NO USE
OF THE WORD 'VAMPIRE.'"
190
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:48,438
THAT'S JUST AN EVENING
FULL OF PALE PEOPLE.
191
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:49,595
- WENDELL, THE THEME
192
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,203
IS THE LEAST IMPORTANT PART
OF THE DANCE.
193
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,714
GOOD MUSIC IS ALL YOU NEED.
194
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,806
- YOU USED TO BE A DJ.
195
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,638
- OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
196
00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:59,054
DJ BASSETT HOUND.
197
00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:01,446
both: AH-OOH!
198
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:03,048
- HERE'S THE GOOD NEWS.
IF HE'S THE DJ,
199
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:05,650
THAT OPENS UP A SPOT
FOR A CHAPERONE FOR ME.
200
00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:06,993
OH, MY GOD,
THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT.
201
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,757
YOU WANT KIDS TO DANCE,
I'M YOUR GIRL.
202
00:08:08,756 --> 00:08:10,086
I'M GONNA EVEN GET YOU TO DANCE.
203
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,860
- UH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
I DON'T DANCE.
204
00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:15,129
- OH,
WE'RE GONNA CHANGE ALL THAT.
205
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,998
I'M GONNA GIVE YOU
BOOGIE FEVER.
206
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,268
- THAT'S THE MOST TREATABLE
THING YOU'VE EVER GIVEN ANYBODY.
207
00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:25,871
COME ON,
WENDELL, DANCING'S FUN.
208
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:27,413
I'LL SHOW YOU.
209
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:29,577
OLIVIA, MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE?
210
00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:32,707
[light guitar music]
211
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:33,853
YEAH.
212
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:34,947
ALL RIGHT,
SO YOU JUST START WITH, LIKE,
213
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,048
A LITTLE BOUNCE, A LITTLE SWAY.
214
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,290
- AND THEN LET
YOUR HANDS COME UP
215
00:08:38,285 --> 00:08:39,385
LIKE YOU'RE BOXING HOBBITS.
216
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:40,486
- YEAH.
217
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:42,857
- NO, I THINK I HAVE TOO MUCH,
218
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,786
UH, PERSONAL DIGNITY TO DANCE.
219
00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:47,463
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I HAVE DIGNITY.
220
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:48,860
I CALL THIS ONE
"THE SWEATY GRANDMA."
221
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,802
[groaning loudly]
222
00:08:57,838 --> 00:08:59,068
- I GOT ONE TOO.
223
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,712
THE "NAUSEATED NEPHEW."
224
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:06,275
- YEAH?
HUH?
225
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:07,749
- I BROUGHT BACK
YOUR VACUUM CLEANER.
226
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:08,678
- OKEYDOKE.
227
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:16,523
- SO I'LL JUST BE LEAVING.
228
00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:20,986
- MAYBE YOU SHOULD LIFT ME UP.
229
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:25,334
- I'VE BEEN TRYING TO
FOR 20 SECONDS.
230
00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:26,332
HOW ABOUT THAT?
231
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:29,273
- [laughing]
232
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:34,640
- SO, SCOTT,
233
00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:36,642
I SEE YOU'RE INTERESTED
IN THE DANCE.
234
00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:38,284
YOU KNOW WHO'S A GREAT DANCER?
235
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:39,448
LACY.
236
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:43,776
- LACY, THE SHORT GIRL
WHO BEAT UP THE JANITOR?
237
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:46,754
- YOU MEAN THE REALLY CUTE
SHORT GIRL
238
00:09:46,754 --> 00:09:50,324
WHO BEAT UP THE JANITOR.
239
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:53,663
UM, I WAS WONDERING
IF MAYBE YOU'D EVER CONSIDER
240
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,661
ASKING HER TO DANCE?
241
00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:59,073
- NOT A CHANCE.
NEVER. NO WAY.
242
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:01,326
- SO WHAT DID HE SAY?
DOES HE LIKE ME?
243
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:02,344
WILL HE DANCE WITH ME?
244
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:04,465
TELL ME.
TELL ME. TELL ME.
245
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:05,741
- HE SAID, UH,
246
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,539
AND I'M PARAPHRASING,
247
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,240
ABSOLUTELY.
248
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:12,182
- [squealing]
249
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,151
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
250
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:38,873
- [grunting]
ONE...
251
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:40,212
- HEY, VINNIE,
CAN I BORROW YOUR--
252
00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:41,207
[gasps]
OH.
253
00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:43,078
- THREE...
254
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,976
- ARE YOU DOING BABY PUSH-UPS?
255
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,778
- [groans]
256
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,080
THAT'S IT.
257
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:51,521
I'D LIKE TO SEE
A BABY DO THREE OF THOSE.
258
00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:52,748
SERIOUSLY, BRING A BABY
OVER HERE.
259
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:54,893
I WILL HUMILIATE IT.
260
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:56,418
- ANYWAY, I WAS WONDERING--
261
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:57,793
- OH, I NEED YOUR HELP
WITH SOMETHING.
262
00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,691
I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
THE BEST WAY TO GO ABOUT THIS.
263
00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:01,533
- SURE.
- ALL RIGHT, PICTURE THIS.
264
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:04,898
- MM-HMM.
- YOUR FAVORITE SONG COMES ON.
265
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:07,998
THE LIGHTS TURN LOW.
266
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,971
I TAKE YOU BY THE HANDS,
267
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,911
AND I GAZE INTO YOUR EYES,
268
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:15,106
AND I SAY,
269
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,378
"THERE'S SOMETHING I'VE WANTED
270
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:20,406
"TO ASK YOU SINCE THE MOMENT
I LAID EYES ON YOU.
271
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:23,483
WOULD YOU GO OUT WITH ME?"
272
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:26,753
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?
273
00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:31,024
- I'D SAY, "WHO ARE YOU?"
274
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,034
- I KNOW, IT'S TOO MUCH,
ISN'T IT?
275
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,325
- NO.
- IT'S TOO MUCH.
276
00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:34,456
IT'S STUPID.
- NO, NO, NO, IT'S LOVELY.
277
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:35,661
- OH.
- IT'S TRULY LOVELY.
278
00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:38,172
I JUST--I'VE NEVER SEEN
THIS SIDE OF YOU BEFORE.
279
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:40,595
IT'S SERIOUS AND ROMANTIC.
280
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,100
- YEAH, I DON'T KNOW
IF I'M JUST GETTING OLDER
281
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:43,402
OR IF IT'S BECAUSE OF WENDELL,
282
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:47,073
BUT I FEEL LIKE I'M READY
FOR A REAL RELATIONSHIP.
283
00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:49,644
- WELL, MAYBE YOU ARE.
IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE.
284
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:52,312
- YOU KNOW, I THINK I
USE JOKING AROUND AS A COVER,
285
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:53,612
BUT LATELY, I'VE BEEN THINKING,
286
00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:57,353
I SHOULD FIND SOMEONE
WORTH BEING SERIOUS FOR,
287
00:11:57,350 --> 00:12:00,490
WORTH THE RISK
OF GETTING HURT.
288
00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,687
AND I DON'T KNOW.
289
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:05,929
MAYBE IT'S OLIVIA.
290
00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:09,056
- WELL, MY GRANNY
ALWAYS USED TO SAY,
291
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,362
"YOU CAN'T GROW A RADISH
UNLESS YOU PLANT A SEED."
292
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:15,971
- GRANNY IS VERY WISE.
293
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,399
- I DON'T KNOW.
294
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:20,474
SHE ALSO THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE
A BIG MARKET FOR WOLVES MILK.
295
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:25,354
- WELL, REGARDLESS,
THANK YOU.
296
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:28,015
I'M GONNA ASK OLIVIA OUT
TONIGHT AT WENDELL'S DANCE.
297
00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:29,175
- OH.
298
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:31,122
- YOU SAID YOU WANTED
TO BORROW SOMETHING?
299
00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:33,518
- OH, UH, YEAH.
300
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,460
I--
301
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:38,325
THIS.
302
00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:40,825
- REALLY?
303
00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:41,928
OKAY.
304
00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:44,029
JUST BRING IT BACK.
I GOT A THING NEXT WEEK.
305
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,440
[bouncy rock music]
306
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:53,439
- HEY, WENDELL.
307
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,180
IT'S A GREAT TURNOUT.
308
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:57,405
- YEAH, BUT NONE OF IT'S GONNA
MATTER IF NOBODY'S DANCING.
309
00:12:57,410 --> 00:13:00,250
- OH, DON'T WORRY.
I GOT YOU COVERED.
310
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:03,177
HELLO, HINES MIDDLE SCHOOL.
311
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:05,393
I'M DJ BASSETT HOUND.
312
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,585
AH-WHOO!
313
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,557
ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?
314
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:11,616
[cheers and applause]
315
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,034
ARE YOU READY
TO LOSE YOUR MINDS?
316
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:15,757
[cheers and applause]
317
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:18,132
- ARE YOU READY TO DANCE?
318
00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:27,342
I'M SORRY, WENDELL.
319
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:29,910
THEY LED ME TO BELIEVE
THEY WERE READY.
320
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:36,778
- LACY, YOU'RE LATE.
321
00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:40,023
- HEY, YOU THINK HOTNESS
LIKE THIS JUST HAPPENS?
322
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:42,388
IS SCOTT HERE?
323
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:43,589
- UH, WELL, YEAH, HE IS, BUT--
324
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:44,890
- COME ON, GIRLS.
325
00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:46,392
- UM, WHA--
326
00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:51,898
- AH, THE COUNT IS HERE
327
00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:54,629
AND IS READY TO PARTY.
328
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:55,774
- WELL, MR. COLDFOOT,
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
329
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:56,768
- LET ME HEAR YOU,
330
00:13:56,769 --> 00:13:59,409
MY CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT.
331
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:04,336
YOU WENT WITH THE FISH.
332
00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:08,354
[sighs]
333
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:13,754
- UNCLE VINNIE, YOU PROMISED
ME YOU'D GET PEOPLE DANCING.
334
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:15,293
MY REPUTATION IS ON THE LINE.
335
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:16,618
- BELIEVE ME, WENDELL,
336
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:18,363
I HAVE PULLED OUT
ALL OF THE STOPS HERE.
337
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:19,558
I'VE HOWLED SO MUCH,
338
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:23,929
ANIMAL CONTROL
HAS BEEN HERE TWICE.
339
00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:25,071
- WAIT A MINUTE.
340
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:26,325
SOMEBODY'S MAKING A MOVE.
341
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,003
- STAY STRONG, TOMMY.
342
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:35,213
- DR. WILMA IS HERE!
OH! HO!
343
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,038
- OH, DEAR, GOD, NO.
344
00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:39,054
- BOYS, TIME TO TURN YOUR HEAD
AND COUGH...
345
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,846
UP A PARTY, ALL RIGHT, LADIES?
346
00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:42,277
ALL RIGHT? YEAH.
WE'LL JUST--
347
00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:44,122
HO! HUP!
HO!
348
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:45,987
WAIT. WHERE YOU GOING?
WHAT YOU DOING?
349
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,986
HEY, CATCH AND RELEASE, RIGHT?
CATCH AND RELEASE.
350
00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:49,688
OKAY, LET'S DO THIS.
351
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:52,859
YEAH, YEAH.
YEAH.
352
00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:55,731
[making robotic sound effects]
353
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,728
GUESS WHO CAME TO THE PARTY?
354
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,130
A ROBOT DID.
355
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:01,032
YEAH!
356
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,866
- I'M SORRY.
YOU'RE NOT ON THE LIST.
357
00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:06,771
- I KNOW, BUT I'M A GOOD FRIEND
OF VINNIE BASSET'S,
358
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,213
AND I REALLY
NEED TO TELL HIM SOMETHING.
359
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:09,578
- OH, THAT'S GREAT,
360
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,706
BUT WE HAVE TO KEEP THIS
ENTRANCE CLEAR, OKAY, MA'AM?
361
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:14,511
- [scoffs]
MA'AM?
362
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:15,984
WHO ARE YOU CALLING MA'AM?
363
00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:18,353
WAIT.
GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME.
364
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:21,121
WAIT.
I WENT TO SEVEN PROMS!
365
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:22,561
- ALL RIGHT, BOYS.
COME ON, LET'S DO THIS.
366
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:23,855
LET'S DO IT. GRAB A HOLD.
367
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:26,656
GRAB A HOLD. ALL RIGHT,
SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE EXCUSE
368
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:30,629
TO TOUCH A LADY.
WHAT?
369
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,530
UGH.
TOUGH ROOM.
370
00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:35,142
- YEAH, I HATE THESE KIDS.
[listlessly] AH-OOH.
371
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:41,111
- SCOTT HASN'T LOOKED AT ME
ONCE TONIGHT.
372
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,038
- WELL, DON'T WORRY.
I'LL REMIND HIM.
373
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:44,143
- WELL, HURRY UP.
374
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,454
IT MAY BE HARD TO BELIEVE,
375
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,115
BUT THERE'S AN EXPIRATION
DATE ON ALL OF THIS.
376
00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:53,921
- SCOTT, MI AMIGO.
377
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,290
- WHAT DO YOU WANT?
378
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,358
- I NEED YOU TO ASK LACY
TO DANCE.
379
00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:58,787
- NO.
- PLEASE?
380
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:01,431
WHAT IF I DID YOUR HOMEWORK
FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR?
381
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:03,658
- SORRY. I ALREADY
HAVE A NERD ON MY PAYROLL.
382
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,803
YOU KNOW MARTHA GOLDMAN?
383
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,038
- YEAH, MARTHA'S GOOD.
384
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:12,166
- STUPID SPRINKLER!
385
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:16,775
[fabric rips]
386
00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:18,106
clunk!
387
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:25,419
NO!
388
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:26,848
[gasps]
389
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:27,853
[toilet flushes]
390
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:29,064
[gasps]
391
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:35,430
- THE LINE FOR THE GIRLS
ROOM WAS A NIGHTMARE, HUH?
392
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:40,829
- HI, OLIVIA.
393
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,343
- HEY, VINNIE.
394
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:45,435
WOW, I HAVEN'T THOUGHT
ABOUT THIS SONG IN 15 YEARS.
395
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:46,838
- WELL, I PUT IT
ON JUST FOR YOU.
396
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,139
IT BRINGS BACK MEMORIES, HUH?
- YEAH.
397
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:51,242
THIS WAS PLAYING ON THE RADIO
ON THE WAY TO THE VET
398
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:54,654
WHEN WE HAD TO PUT OUR DOG DOWN.
399
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:55,877
- THAT'S THE ONE
I WAS GOING FOR.
400
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:56,822
BE RIGHT BACK.
401
00:16:58,118 --> 00:16:59,418
- I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY,
402
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:02,659
BUT UNDERNEATH THAT GOOFY
VIDEO GAME ADDICT,
403
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:05,185
THERE MAY ACTUALLY BE
A MATURE MAN
404
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:06,192
I COULD SEE BEING WITH,
405
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:07,933
AND I JUST FIGURED
BEFORE THAT MAN
406
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:08,957
WENT OFF WITH SOMEONE ELSE,
407
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:12,301
I SHOULD LET HIM KNOW.
408
00:17:12,299 --> 00:17:13,299
LOOK AT ME.
409
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:14,670
HOW PATHETIC AM I?
410
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,597
I'M STANDING IN A LITTLE BOYS
ROOM TRYING TO CRASH
411
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:18,373
A MIDDLE SCHOOL DANCE.
412
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,841
THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA.
I'M SUCH A FOOL.
413
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,980
- HONEY, I WAS JUST
FLOPPING AROUND ON THE FLOOR
414
00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:26,776
LIKE A FISH BEGGING 12-YEAR-OLDS
TO DANCE WITH ME,
415
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:28,719
SO YOU'VE GOT
SOME CATCHING UP TO DO.
416
00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:32,948
- TARYN,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
417
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:35,562
WOW, YOU REALLY TOOK THE
"UNDER THE SEA" THEME
418
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,855
TO A NEW LEVEL.
419
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,127
- I JUST--
I, UH--
420
00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:40,756
I HAVE SOMETHING THAT
I REALLY NEED TO TELL YOU.
421
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,130
- OH, GOOD, I WANT
TO TELL YOU SOMETHING, TOO.
422
00:17:42,129 --> 00:17:43,129
YOU GO FIRST.
423
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,200
- OKAY.
424
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:47,027
I REALLY WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT I...
425
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:48,543
UH...
426
00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:58,484
OKAY, NOW YOU GO.
427
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,478
- I TOOK YOUR ADVICE.
428
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,450
OLIVIA SAID YES.
429
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:04,479
- I HEARD,
430
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:06,794
AND THAT'S WHY I GAVE YOU
THE CELEBRATORY KISS.
431
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:08,256
YAY!
432
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:16,064
- I'M SORRY, LACY.
433
00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:18,172
SCOTT'S NOT GONNA
ASK YOU TO DANCE,
434
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:19,795
AND THE TRUTH IS,
435
00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:21,199
HE NEVER WAS,
436
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,441
BUT WHEN I SAW THE LOOK
ON YOUR FACE, I JUST
437
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:24,966
COULDN'T BREAK IT TO YOU.
438
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:27,811
- SO YOU DID LIE.
439
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:30,677
- I'M READY FOR MY BEAT-DOWN.
440
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:32,847
- I JUST
WISH YOU TOLD ME EARLIER.
441
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,615
I ORDERED MY POSSE
TO BE READY TO SNAP A PHOTO
442
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,315
WHEN A HANDSOME KID
ASKED ME TO DANCE.
443
00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:44,918
- OH, SORRY.
444
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:47,534
WELL, I KNOW I'M NO SCOTT,
445
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:49,727
BUT WOULD YOU LIKE
TO DANCE WITH ME?
446
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,429
- I THOUGHT
YOU DIDN'T LIKE TO DANCE.
447
00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:53,831
- WELL, FOR YOU,
I'LL MAKE AN EXCEPTION.
448
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,073
MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE?
449
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:58,067
[slow rock music]
450
00:18:58,070 --> 00:19:06,080
*
451
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,658
[record scratches]
452
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,500
- WOW, THAT WAS CLOSE.
453
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:26,496
[upbeat percussive music]
454
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:34,739
*
455
00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:36,041
- I DID IT!
456
00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:46,551
- AH-WHOO!
457
00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:49,293
all: AH-WHOO!
458
00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:08,169
- WELL, IT TOOK A WHILE
TO PEAK, BUT, WENDELL,
459
00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:11,884
YOU MAY HAVE PULLED OFF ONE
OF THE ALL-TIME GREATEST DANCES.
460
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,448
- THANKS, UNCLE VINNIE.
461
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:15,646
HANG ON, I JUST
GOT TO FINISH LOCKING UP.
462
00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:27,132
[door handle rattling]
463
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:29,526
- HELLO?
- HELLO?
464
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:30,659
[knocking at door]
465
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:31,663
- HELLO?
466
00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:33,274
- HELLO.
467
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:34,866
[pounding at door]
468
00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:38,937
- HELLO!
- HEY!
469
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:40,038
both: GUYS?
32311
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