Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:11,654
- DUDE, IT IS SIMPLE.
2
00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:13,375
B, B, X,
RIGHT BUMPER, RIGHT TRIGGER.
3
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:14,821
- B, X...
- NOT B, X!
4
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:17,445
NOT B, X!
AND THEY'RE GONE!
5
00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:20,591
YOU LAUNCHED
ALL OF THE ROCKETS.
6
00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:22,918
THEY'RE ALL GONE NOW.
7
00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:26,163
ALL OF THE ROCKETS ARE GONE.
8
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,200
- SORRY.
9
00:00:27,195 --> 00:00:28,325
- NO, IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW,
10
00:00:28,329 --> 00:00:31,529
IT TOOK ME TWO MONTHS
OF TIRELESS EFFORT
11
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:32,932
TO AMASS
ALL OF THOSE ROCKETS,
12
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:36,773
AND NOW YOU'VE MADE THAT
A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.
13
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,884
- I DON'T WANT TO SPEND
OUR TIME SHOOTING ANYTHING.
14
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,176
NO MORE VIDEO GAMES!
15
00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:45,378
THIS IS THE FIRST WEEKEND
16
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,679
YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH TIME
FOR ME IN MONTHS.
17
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:47,980
- OH, COME ON.
18
00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:49,421
I HAVEN'T BEEN THAT BUSY.
19
00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:50,477
- REALLY?
20
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:52,254
FIRST YOU WERE DATING
DUMB BRITTANY,
21
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:53,553
THEN DUMB JENNY,
22
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:56,394
THEN DUMB JENNY R.,
23
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,660
AND THEN BACK TO BRITTANY,
24
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,858
WHO BY THEN
SEEMED SO MUCH SMARTER.
25
00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:02,500
- I DON'T THINK
THEY WERE THAT DUMB.
26
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:04,866
- JENNY R., THE GIRL
WHO GOT LOCKED IN OUR KITCHEN
27
00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,665
FOR TWO HOURS?
28
00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:28,455
- OKAY, POINT TAKEN.
29
00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:33,492
- WHY CAN'T WE DO SOMETHING
I LIKE TO DO,
30
00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,234
LIKE THE NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM?
31
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,729
THEY HAVE A NEW DINOSAUR
EXHIBIT.
32
00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:38,500
- AH, NICE TRY.
33
00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:41,499
THEY HAVEN'T HAD NEW DINOSAURS
IN, LIKE, THOUSANDS OF YEARS.
34
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,483
- THE GETTY VILLA
HAS A GREAT EXHIBIT
35
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:51,345
ON GREEK ANTIQUITIES,
STATUES OF APOLLO, ATHENA--
36
00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:52,705
- ATHENA!
37
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:55,523
ISN'T SHE THE GODDESS
WHO SHOOTS FIRE OUT OF HER BUTT?
38
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:59,186
- THERE'S NO SUCH GODDESS
IN ANY WORLD CULTURE.
39
00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:03,187
- NOT EVEN THE UKRAINE?
40
00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:05,191
- THEY JUST GOT THE LION
AND HORSE SCULPTURE
41
00:02:05,193 --> 00:02:06,193
FROM ANCIENT GREECE.
42
00:02:06,194 --> 00:02:07,204
YOU GOT TO SEE IT.
43
00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:08,395
IT EXEMPLIFIED THE STRUGGLE
44
00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:09,896
OF EASTERN AND WESTERN
CULTURES...
45
00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:10,897
- [snores]
46
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:15,737
- ICE CREAM!
YOU LIKE ICE CREAM.
47
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,366
LET'S GO
TO THE HEALTH FOOD STORE.
48
00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:20,642
- THEY HAVE ICE CREAM?
49
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:21,881
- YES.
50
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:24,075
- OKAY, DEAL.
51
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:25,807
LET'S GET SOME ICE CREAM, SON!
52
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,221
- LEGALLY IT'S NOT ICE CREAM.
53
00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:30,277
IT'S MADE FROM HEMP,
54
00:02:30,284 --> 00:02:31,694
AND IT COMES ON A CONE
OF DRIED KELP.
55
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,945
- AH!
- SUCKER!
56
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:38,756
[quirky brass music]
57
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:39,759
58
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,760
- I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
59
00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,562
- NEVER FELT SO GOOD
60
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,704
- I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
61
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:48,469
- NEVER FELT SO GOOD
62
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:50,399
- SO WAIT A MINUTE
63
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:51,414
HEY
64
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:53,835
I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
65
00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:02,154
- EXCUSE ME, SIR.
66
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:03,149
EXCUSE ME.
67
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:06,050
- [whistles]
68
00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:09,293
- CAN I GET A COSMO, PLEASE?
69
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:10,320
THANK YOU.
70
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:11,564
I THOUGHT I WAS
GONNA HAVE TO TRY
71
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:14,929
TO GET HIS ATTENTION
MARDI GRAS STYLE.
72
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:18,028
- ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
TO GET MY ATTENTION IS SMILE.
73
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,271
OF COURSE, I PREFER MY SMILES
MARDI GRAS STYLE.
74
00:03:20,268 --> 00:03:22,138
- [laughs]
- I'M SPIKE.
75
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:23,595
- HI, I'M WILMA.
76
00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:25,874
- PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.
- YOU TOO.
77
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,443
- OH, DON'T WORRY.
THERE'S NO RING.
78
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:28,541
- NO, NO, I KNOW.
79
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,542
I WAS JUST LOOKING
FOR ANY INDENTATIONS
80
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:34,324
OR TAN LINES, ANY INDICATION
OF RECENT REMOVAL OF A RING.
81
00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:36,845
THIS AIN'T MY FIRST RODEO, PAL.
82
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:39,520
- HOW DO I KNOW
YOU'RE SINGLE?
83
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,060
- BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN
AT A BAR
84
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:45,755
BUYING HER OWN DRINKS
ON A NON-KARAOKE NIGHT.
85
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:47,799
- WELL, I CAN TAKE CARE
OF THE DRINKS PART.
86
00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:50,525
- OH, WELL, THANK YOU.
87
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:53,871
YOU JUST BOUGHT MY ATTENTION
FOR AS LONG AS THIS DRINK LASTS.
88
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:57,307
USE YOUR 15 SECONDS WISELY.
89
00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:59,305
- HOLY CRAP,
YOU'RE SPIKE HARLESS!
90
00:03:59,307 --> 00:04:01,007
- YOU'RE GONNA WANT
TO STEP BACK.
91
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:03,108
- WHAT?
- [laughs]
92
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,480
- OH!
93
00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:07,318
- YOUR FACE JUST PUNCHED ME
IN THE FIST!
94
00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:08,445
YEAH, SPIKE!
95
00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:09,779
- OH, MY G--
96
00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:15,491
- SO WHAT DO YOU DO, WILMA?
97
00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:26,001
- IS THIS ONE OF THOSE
HIPPIE-DIPPIE MARKETS?
98
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:28,139
- IT'S NOT A MARKET.
IT'S A FOOD COOPERATIVE.
99
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:30,335
- SO YES.
100
00:04:30,338 --> 00:04:31,838
- HEY, CHECK THIS OUT.
101
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:34,739
THIS COFFEE IS PICKED
BY GUATEMALAN MONKEYS.
102
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:39,710
- TAKING GOOD JOBS
FROM AMERICAN MONKEYS.
103
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:45,116
- COMPOSTING DEMONSTRATION
ON AISLE SIX?
104
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,618
I AM SO THERE!
HERE.
105
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:49,020
- OH!
106
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:50,092
- OH, HEY, GOJI BERRIES.
107
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:51,220
PLEASE GET ME GOJI BERRIES.
108
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:52,894
THEY'RE AN ANTIOXIDANT
SUPERFOOD.
109
00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:58,774
- OH, WE CAN FIGHT FOR 'EM,
110
00:04:58,766 --> 00:05:01,466
BUT I'M WARNING YOU,
I'M A BITER.
111
00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:03,899
- OR I COULD JUST
TAKE THIS OTHER ONE.
112
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:07,814
- I DO NOT GUARANTEE THAT
WILL STOP ME FROM BITING YOU.
113
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,078
BIG FAN OF THE GOJI BERRIES?
114
00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:11,946
YOU KNOW, THEY'RE
AN ANTIOXIDANT SUPERFOOD.
115
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,475
- YEAH, THERE'S BEEN A RUN
ON THEM
116
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:15,251
EVER SINCE THAT ARTICLE
WAS PUBLISHED.
117
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:17,948
YOU OBVIOUSLY READ THAT PIECE
IN THE ATLANTIC.
118
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:19,251
- OF COURSE.
119
00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:21,492
IT'S THE ONLY OCEAN I READ.
- [laughs]
120
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:22,489
- I'M VINNIE.
121
00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:23,790
- GINA.
- HI.
122
00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:25,561
- YOU SEEM LIKE A SMART GUY
WHO KNOWS HIS BERRIES.
123
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,829
- I GUESS YOU COULD SAY
I'M "BERRY" SMART.
124
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,128
- [chuckles]
125
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:31,969
NOW YOU SEEM
LIKE A DUMB GUY.
126
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:33,395
- NO, NO, NO, NO.
127
00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:36,401
I'M SMART.
128
00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:39,014
IN FACT, I JUST GOT BACK
FROM THE GETTY VILLA.
129
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,406
THEY'VE GOT THAT NEW LION
AND HORSE SCULPTURE,
130
00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:43,109
REALLY EXEMPLIFIES
THE TIMELESS STRUGGLE
131
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:47,520
BETWEEN LIONS AND HORSES.
132
00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:49,515
NOW YOU BE INTERESTING.
133
00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:51,947
- I LOVE GREEK ANTIQUITIES.
134
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:54,462
MY SECOND BOOK
IS ACTUALLY ALL ABOUT HOMER.
135
00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:57,985
- OH, WHAT'S YOUR FIRST ONE
ABOUT, BART?
136
00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,861
- IT'S ABOUT THE SEX LIVES
OF GREEK GODS.
137
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,060
IT'S CALLED MOUNTING OLYMPUS.
138
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,002
GUESS WHICH WAS MORE FUN
TO RESEARCH.
139
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,439
SO DO YOU KNOW MUCH
ABOUT GREEK MYTHOLOGY?
140
00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:12,566
- OH, AFRAID NOT.
IT'S MY WHAT'S-HIS-NAME'S HEEL.
141
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:13,873
- [laughs]
142
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:17,984
- [laughs]
143
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:20,508
ARE YOU BY ANY CHANCE
AVAILABLE FOR DATING,
144
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:21,724
MAYBE TOMORROW NIGHT?
145
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,015
- ACTUALLY,
I'M GOING TO A TED TALK
146
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,247
IN SANTA MONICA.
147
00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:27,492
ONE'S ON GREEK GODS
AND THE MODERN WORLD.
148
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:28,618
WE COULD MEET THERE.
149
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:29,862
- I'D HAVE TO BE DUMBER
150
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:31,457
THAN A COFFEE-PICKING MONKEY
TO SAY NO TO THAT.
151
00:06:31,459 --> 00:06:33,359
- ALL RIGHT, THEN.
IT'S A DATE.
152
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,500
- OKAY.
153
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:38,526
YOU BETTER WALK AWAY NOW
BEFORE YOU SCREW THIS UP.
154
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,327
SEE YOU AT THE TED TALK.
155
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,074
I LOVE TED TALKS!
156
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,840
HEY, TED TALKS ARE GREAT!
157
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:47,269
HEY, WHAT'S A TED TALK?
158
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:49,284
- SHORT LECTURES
ABOUT CUTTING-EDGE IDEAS.
159
00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:50,276
WHY?
160
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:51,277
- OH, THEY'RE HAVING ONE
161
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:52,278
IN SANTA MONICA
TOMORROW NIGHT.
162
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:53,279
- YOU MEAN IT?
163
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:54,580
OH, FINALLY
SOMETHING I WANT TO DO!
164
00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:56,582
- WELL, ACTUALLY...
- I'M GOING TO A TED TALK!
165
00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,854
BETTER YET, WE'RE GOING
TO A TED TALK TOGETHER!
166
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,092
THANKS, UNCLE VINNIE.
167
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,187
I FEEL SEEN.
168
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,618
- NO!
169
00:07:07,495 --> 00:07:08,895
- SHOULD WE CALL THE POLICE?
170
00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:10,526
- NO, THIS IS NORMAL.
171
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:11,931
I WAS IN A VERY POPULAR MOVIE
172
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,832
WHERE I GET PUNCHED
IN THE FACE A LOT.
173
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,274
- OH, REALLY?
WHAT WAS IT CALLED?
174
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:18,108
- PUNCH ME IN THE FACE.
175
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,635
I PLAY A CHARACTER
NAMED FARLEY
176
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,910
WHO'S NEVER BEEN KNOCKED OUT
TILL HE MEETS LIAM NEESON,
177
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:24,079
WHO'S TRYING TO WIN MONEY
FOR HIS SON'S OPERATION.
178
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,777
- I THINK I KNOW
WHO'LL BE OPERATING.
179
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,950
DR. OSCAR.
180
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,519
[sighs]
181
00:07:31,519 --> 00:07:33,349
- IT'S HARD BEING THE STAR
OF A MOVIE.
182
00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:34,993
- LIAM NEESON WASN'T THE STAR?
183
00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:37,758
- WHO THE STAR WAS
IS NOT IMPORTANT.
184
00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:40,328
THE ISSUE IS, INEVITABLY
SOME MEATHEAD SPOTS ME
185
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:41,657
AND HAS TO PROVE
HE'S A TOUGH GUY,
186
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:42,932
SO HE TAKES A SWING.
187
00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:44,630
- WHY NOT GET A BODYGUARD?
188
00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:45,672
- I DID.
189
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:48,296
HE PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE.
190
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:51,441
- WOW, I'VE NEVER KNOWN
A REAL MOVIE STAR BEFORE.
191
00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:52,938
THIS IS KIND OF COOL.
[laughs]
192
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:55,340
- WELL, I GOT TO SAY,
CELEBRITY HAS ITS PERKS.
193
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,282
YOU NEVER HAVE TO WAIT IN LINE
AT A CLUB.
194
00:07:57,277 --> 00:08:00,347
YOU GET KATHY GRIFFIN'S
HOME PHONE NUMBER.
195
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:01,977
BUT WHAT I REALLY LIKE IS,
EVERYWHERE I GO,
196
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,182
EVERYONE IS SUPER FRIENDLY.
197
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:05,153
- SPIKE HARLESS.
198
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,352
I'M A HUGE FAN.
199
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:08,724
I GOT TO TELL YOU,
YOUR FILMS
200
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:10,462
HAVE MEANT A LOT TO ME
OVER THE YEARS.
201
00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:11,957
- WELL, THANKS VERY MUCH.
THAT'S REALLY NICE TO HEAR.
202
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:12,989
- THAT'S SWEET.
203
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,233
- I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND,
204
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:17,227
BUT I GOT TO TAKE A POKE
AT YOU NOW.
205
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:19,868
- OH!
206
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:22,967
- HEY, YOUR FACE
JUST PUNCHED ME IN THE FIST!
207
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:26,707
- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
GET OUT OF HERE!
208
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:28,377
- HEY, DO YOU MIND
IF MY GIRLFRIEND PUNCHES YOU?
209
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:30,275
SHE'S SMALL.
- SHE MAY NOT!
210
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,875
[applause]
211
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,882
- WOW,
THAT WAS AN AMAZING LECTURE.
212
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:38,954
- JUST WHEN YOU THINK
THERE'S NOTHING MORE TO SAY
213
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,452
ABOUT PERSEUS AND MEDUSA,
214
00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:43,393
SOMEONE BRINGS IN
A FRESH PERSPECTIVE, AND...
215
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:45,460
PA-KOW!
216
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:47,288
- I LIKED WHERE HE TURNED
INTO A MANATEE
217
00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:48,734
AND SHOT LASERS OUT OF HIS--
218
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:51,029
I MAY HAVE DOZED OFF.
219
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,601
- WHAT HE WAS SAYING WAS,
220
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,600
JUST LIKE PROMETHEUS
BROUGHT FIRE TO MAN
221
00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:55,802
BUT SUFFERED FOR HIS DISCOVERY,
222
00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:57,373
SCIENCE HAS PROVEN
THERE'S ALWAYS A PRICE
223
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,440
TO PAY FOR KNOWLEDGE.
224
00:08:58,438 --> 00:08:59,938
JUST AS--
- HEY, THAT'S GREAT.
225
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,840
HEY, WHO'S THIRSTY?
- OH, I'LL TAKE A LEMONADE.
226
00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:05,152
- I'D LIKE A--
- GOT IT!
227
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:08,715
- OH, HEY, LOOKS WHAT'S NEXT,
THE END OF THE UNIVERSE.
228
00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:10,746
- WOW, THAT SOUNDS DEPRESSING.
229
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:12,091
- OH, IT'S NOT DEPRESSING.
230
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,615
IT'S ACTUALLY QUITE AMAZING.
231
00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:16,392
THE MILKY WAY IS SIMPLY
ON A COLLISION COURSE
232
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,829
WITH THE ANDROMEDA GALAXY,
233
00:09:17,825 --> 00:09:20,025
AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS,
IT'S GOING TO DESTROY ANY TRACE
234
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:23,897
OF OUR PLANET, SOLAR SYSTEM,
AND GALAXY.
235
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,867
NOW THAT I SAY IT ALOUD...
236
00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:29,797
- SO ALL
OF HUMANKIND'S ACHIEVEMENTS,
237
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,373
ARTS, SCIENCES--
238
00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:34,112
NONE OF IT'S GOING TO MATTER?
239
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:35,837
- I WENT THROUGH THAT PHASE.
240
00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:38,553
KIND OF PUT A DAMPER
ON MY SIXTH BIRTHDAY.
241
00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:41,345
GOSH, I REALLY
BUMMED OUT THAT CLOWN.
242
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:46,248
- HMM.
- HI.
243
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,253
- WHERE WERE YOU?
244
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,664
YOU MISSED THE END
OF THE LECTURE.
245
00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:50,356
- NO, NO, I GOT IT.
246
00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:52,757
JUST LIKE PROMETHEUS
BROUGHT FIRE TO MANKIND
247
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,230
BUT SUFFERED
FOR HIS DISCOVERY,
248
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:55,657
SO, TOO, SCIENCE HAS PROVEN
249
00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:58,003
THAT THERE'S ALWAYS
A PRICE TO PAY FOR KNOWLEDGE.
250
00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:00,928
- [chuckles]
251
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:06,508
YOU SUMMED IT UP REALLY WELL.
252
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:07,706
IT TOOK HIM 18 MINUTES
253
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,678
TO SAY WHAT YOU JUST SAID
IN A FEW SECONDS.
254
00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:13,647
- YEAH, I DO A LOT OF THINGS
FASTER THAN MOST MEN.
255
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:16,017
WAIT, NO.
256
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,316
- [laughs]
257
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:21,218
SO WHAT DO YOU DO
FOR FUN?
258
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:23,191
- OH, WHAT DO I DO FOR FUN?
259
00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:24,960
I DO THIS.
260
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,528
WHEN THAT GUY
WITH THE EYEBROW DANDRUFF
261
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:27,896
AND THE SPIT IN THE CORNER
OF HIS MOUTH
262
00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:29,225
WAS TALKING
ABOUT ALL THAT GREEK STUFF,
263
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:32,929
I WAS IN HEAVEN.
264
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:34,233
- OKAY, THEN.
265
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:37,504
WHAT DID YOU THINK
OF HIS INTERPRETATION OF ZEUS?
266
00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:38,614
- HEY, I'M HUNGRY.
267
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:39,905
DO YOU WANT ANYTHING?
268
00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:41,907
- YOU KNOW, I SAW SOME
SOME SPANAKOPITA OUT THERE.
269
00:10:41,909 --> 00:10:44,409
OR MAYBE--
- GOT IT!
270
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:45,511
- THAT'S RIGHT.
271
00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:47,082
IT'LL BE LIKE
THE EARTH NEVER EXISTED.
272
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,850
- I'M SUCH A FOOL.
273
00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:51,219
WHY DID I ADOPT THAT HIGHWAY?
274
00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:54,888
- HEY, GUYS, HERE YOU GO.
275
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:55,988
- WE DIDN'T ORDER THESE.
276
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,989
- AND YOU DIDN'T
GO GET THEM EITHER!
277
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,231
YOU'RE WELCOME.
278
00:10:59,226 --> 00:11:01,796
HEY, WENDELL,
SOMETHING'S BEEN ON MY MIND.
279
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:05,025
ZEUS, YOU KNOW,
WHAT'S THE 411 ON THAT CAT, HUH?
280
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:06,532
- OH, WELL,
ZEUS IS REALLY AN ALLEGORY
281
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:07,973
ABOUT THE CAPRICIOUSNESS
OF NATURE
282
00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:09,438
AND ITS RANDOM EFFECTS
UPON MANKIND.
283
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,066
- GREAT, THAT'S ENOUGH.
GOT TO PEE.
284
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:12,871
- WAIT, MUSTARD!
285
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,743
THE MAN HAS MUSTARD
ON EVERY SHIRT HE OWNS,
286
00:11:14,742 --> 00:11:17,812
BUT HE COULDN'T MANAGE
TO GET ANY ON MY PRETZEL.
287
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,351
BE RIGHT BACK.
288
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,824
- ZEUS, HE'S REALLY
JUST AN ALLEGORY
289
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,590
ABOUT THE CAPRICIOUSNESS
OF NATURE
290
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:30,958
AND ITS RANDOM EFFECTS
UPON MANKIND.
291
00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:32,658
- YOU'RE A REALLY SMART GUY.
292
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:34,029
- THINKING IS FUN.
293
00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:41,199
- PLEASE, JUST BE HONEST.
294
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,801
YOU KNEW SHE WAS GOING
TO THAT TED TALK
295
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,343
BEFORE YOU ASKED ME TO GO.
296
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:47,837
- I'M PLEADING THE THIRD.
297
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:50,011
- YOU'RE PLEADING THE THIRD?
- MM-HMM.
298
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:51,480
- THE THIRD AMENDMENT?
299
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:54,308
SO YOU'RE REFUSING TO QUARTER
SOLDIERS DURING PEACETIME?
300
00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:56,818
IT'S BAD ENOUGH YOU LIED
301
00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,317
ABOUT WANTING
TO SPEND TIME WITH ME,
302
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,388
BUT YOU BLEW ME OFF
FOR ANOTHER STUPID DATE.
303
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:03,387
- AH!
NO, BUT THIS ONE'S NOT STUPID.
304
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:04,420
SHE'S A SMART GIRL.
305
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,834
SHE'S AN AUTHOR
OF WORD BOOKS.
306
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:10,799
- AN AUTHOR?
307
00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:13,568
LIKE SINNAMON WITH AN "S"
WAS A DANCER?
308
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,271
- YES.
309
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,142
HER NAME'S GINA SEGALL.
310
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:23,111
- WAIT, GINA SEGALL?
311
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,210
I LOVE HER.
312
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:25,811
I'M A HUGE FAN
OF ONE OF HER BOOKS.
313
00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:28,823
- I'M REALLY HOPING
IT'S THE ONE ON HOMER.
314
00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:30,816
- ABSOLUTELY.
SHE'S BRILLIANT.
315
00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:32,288
- RIGHT!
316
00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:35,115
SHE'S, LIKE,
A BRIDGE BETWEEN US.
317
00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:38,632
I MEAN, SHE'S GOT THINGS
YOU'RE INTERESTED IN.
318
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:40,925
SHE'S GOT THINGS
I'M INTERESTED IN.
319
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:45,169
- I WOULD LIKE YOU TO DATE
A GIRL I COULD TALK TO.
320
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:47,525
NOT THAT MY SCRUNCHIE DISCUSSION
WITH SECOND-DUMBEST JENNY
321
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:49,074
WASN'T GREAT.
322
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:51,039
- GREAT, SO WHY DON'T YOU
HELP ME SEEM SMART?
323
00:12:51,038 --> 00:12:53,038
THEN SHE CAN BE
IN BOTH OF OUR LIVES.
324
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:54,980
YOU KNOW--
HEY, LET'S START RIGHT NOW.
325
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,535
GIVE ME SOME SMART-GUY
TALKING POINTS.
326
00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:59,553
- OKAY, HOW ABOUT STRING THEORY?
327
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:01,576
- IS STRING
REALLY THAT COMPLICATED?
328
00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:05,321
[cell phone ringing]
329
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,118
IT'S GINA.
330
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,690
HELLO.
331
00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:11,558
YEAH, WHY NOT?
332
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:12,858
OKAY. OKAY, BYE.
333
00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:14,390
THAT'S ODD.
334
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:16,434
SHE'S IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
AND WANTS TO COME OVER.
335
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:18,599
EITHER I'M COMING OFF
SMARTER THAN I REALLY AM,
336
00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:21,668
OR SHE'S A LOT DUMBER
THAN I THINK SHE IS.
337
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:24,768
EITHER WAY, I WIN.
338
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:26,871
- WAIT.
339
00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:29,384
I'M GONNA MEET
AN ANCIENT MYTHOLOGY SCHOLAR?
340
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:32,176
THAT'S EVERY BOY'S DREAM.
341
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:33,749
- WAIT A MINUTE.
342
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:35,076
WAIT A MINUTE.
343
00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:37,082
IF SHE COMES OVER HERE
AND SEES ALL THIS JUNK...
344
00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:38,624
- SHE'S GONNA REALIZE
YOU'RE SOME SORT
345
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:40,888
OF HALF-GROWN MAN CHILD?
346
00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:41,988
- WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
347
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,119
THERE'S NOT A SINGLE BOOK
DOWN HERE.
348
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:45,033
- AND HOW LONG HAVE I
BEEN SAYING THAT?
349
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,725
- I'LL JUST TELL HER
ALL THIS STUFF IS YOURS.
350
00:13:46,726 --> 00:13:48,496
- MINE?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS STUFF IS.
351
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,225
I CAN'T DO THAT.
- IT'S EASY.
352
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,600
JUST GOT TO THINK LIKE ME.
353
00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:53,898
FIRST, CLEAR YOUR MIND.
354
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:56,001
NOW LEAVE IT LIKE THAT.
355
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:58,713
- I GUESS IF YOU'RE WILLING
TO DATE A SMART GIRL FOR ME,
356
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,665
THE LEAST I CAN DO
IS HELP GET YOU STARTED.
357
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,743
- PERFECT!
YOU TEACH ME HOW TO BE YOU.
358
00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:04,382
I'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO BE ME.
359
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:05,947
- WAIT.
WHAT ARE YOU TEACHING ME AGAIN?
360
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,806
I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION.
- I'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO BE ME.
361
00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:09,354
- I KNOW.
I WAS IN CHARACTER.
362
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,219
- AW, YOU'RE GOOD.
363
00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:12,388
YOU'RE GOOD.
364
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,524
- SO IT'S TWO DAYS
BEFORE WE START SHOOTING
365
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,033
THIS INDEPENDENT FILM.
366
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:20,925
I'M THE STAR,
AND GUESS WHAT HAPPENED.
367
00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:22,698
- WHAT?
- THE DIRECTOR DIED.
368
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,025
- OH, MY GOSH.
369
00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:25,301
- I KNOW.
370
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:27,828
WHY DOES THIS STUFF
ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?
371
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:30,544
- WELL, I STARTED A NEW CASE
TODAY.
372
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,767
WELL, I WASN'T SURE
I WANTED TO--
373
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:33,211
- CAMERA.
374
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,736
- I WASN'T SURE
I WANTED TO TAKE ON THE CASE.
375
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:36,681
IT SEEMED A LITTLE BIT
LIKE A LOST CAUSE.
376
00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:40,346
- I WAS IN A MOVIE
CALLED LOST CLAUS.
377
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:42,517
HAD TO GET SANTA BACK
FROM THE RUSSIANS.
378
00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:47,093
WHERE IS OUR WAITER?
379
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:48,287
LET ME GET US A DRINK
AT THE BAR.
380
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:50,088
- THERE WAS TWO--TWO--
TWO DIFFERENT...
381
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,420
YEAH.
382
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:52,734
CAN YOU TOP OFF MY DRINK?
383
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:53,725
[punch lands]
384
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:54,856
thud!
385
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:56,731
- YOUR FACE
JUST PUNCHED ME IN THE FIST!
386
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:01,826
- SINCE YOU LANDED
SO CLOSE TO THE KITCHEN,
387
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:04,274
DO YOU MIND CHECKING
ON MY QUESADILLA?
388
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:07,238
THANKS.
389
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,583
- NICE.
390
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,679
THERE WE GO.
391
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,621
[doorbell rings]
both: SHE'S HERE!
392
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:18,086
- ALL RIGHT, GAME TIME.
393
00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:20,185
WENDELL, HERE.
394
00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:22,157
- HEY, VINNIE.
395
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:29,096
- ENTREZ-VOUS.
396
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:30,796
- MERCI.
397
00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:33,227
SO WHAT ARE YOU READING?
398
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:35,403
- THE STRANGER
BY ALBERT "CAM-US."
399
00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:38,312
- [coughing] "CAM-OO."
- "CAM-OO."
400
00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:41,535
"CAM-OON" IN.
401
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:43,011
- WOW, VINNIE,
I HAVE TO SAY
402
00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:44,580
THIS ISN'T
HOW I PICTURED YOUR PLACE.
403
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:45,577
IT'S...
404
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:46,848
- OH, YEAH, ALL THIS STUFF,
405
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:48,546
IT BELONGS TO MY NEPHEW
WENDELL.
406
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:51,018
YOU KNOW, I DONATED
ALL MY AFRICAN FERTILITY TOTEMS
407
00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:55,018
TO THE DENVER MUSEUM OF AFRICA.
408
00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:59,487
- SO YOU MUST BE WENDELL.
409
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:03,232
- WHAT'S GOOD, PRETTY LADY?
410
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:04,630
- SO WHAT GAME ARE YOU PLAYING?
411
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:08,671
- OH, WELL,
412
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:11,038
ROBOT...
413
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:13,308
LOBSTER HANDS.
414
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,806
- YEAH, THAT'S THE NAME
OF THE VIDEO GAME,
415
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:17,637
ROBOT LOBSTER HANDS.
416
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:20,614
- MY UNCLE TELLS ME YOU WROTE
AN AMAZING BOOK ABOUT ODYSSEUS
417
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:22,153
AND HIS EPIC JOURNEY
FIGHTING DEMONS
418
00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:24,449
BOTH PHYSICAL AND METAPHORICAL--
419
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:28,121
OR SOME CRUD.
420
00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:29,291
PEW, PEW, PEW.
421
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:30,859
I'M SO DUMB,
I THINK LASERS MAKE NOISE.
422
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:34,327
PEW, PEW, PEW.
423
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,157
- HEY, CAN WE TALK
FOR A SECOND?
424
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:38,533
- HEY, I'M SO SMART,
WE CAN TALK FOR TWO SECONDS.
425
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:44,669
- HEY, GUYS, HOW'S IT--
426
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:45,911
AH, WHO CARES?
427
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:48,075
WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE ANYWAY.
428
00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:50,575
- GINA,
THIS IS TARYN, OUR NEIGHBOR.
429
00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:53,377
- CAKE?
- NO, I'M GOOD. THANKS.
430
00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:56,380
- HUH, YEAH, WELL,
YOU MIGHT THINK YOU'RE GOOD,
431
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:59,193
AND THEN SOME POINDEXTER
TELLS YOU THE WORLD'S GONNA END,
432
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:02,186
AND SUDDENLY THE ONLY THING
THAT MAKES SENSE IS CAKE.
433
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:05,831
- WELL, YOU KNOW
WHAT NIETZSCHE SAID--
434
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,085
- NO, WHAT?
435
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:08,604
WHAT DID NIETZSCHE SAY, HUH?
436
00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:10,595
CAN YOU TELL ME
WHAT NIETZSCHE SAID, SMART GUY?
437
00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:12,667
DID NIETZSCHE SAY SOMETHING
THAT'S GOING TO PREVENT
438
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:15,765
THE GALAXY
FROM TEARING THE EARTH APART?
439
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:18,408
- SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY ALREADY
KNOWS WHAT NIETZSCHE SAID.
440
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:20,005
- [laughs]
441
00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:21,236
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
442
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:26,707
I JUST REMEMBERED
A REALLY FUNNY FART.
443
00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:29,745
WELL, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
444
00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:31,719
I'M GONNA GO GET A SNACK
WITHOUT A PLATE,
445
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,018
BECAUSE I THINK ANTS ARE COOL.
446
00:17:39,326 --> 00:17:40,586
- I'M GONNA GO TO THE KITCHEN.
447
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:41,963
- AND WASH YOUR HANDS?
448
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,631
- NO.
449
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:47,773
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
450
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,337
IF YOU WANT TO TALK,
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
451
00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:51,436
I WAS THINKING WE COULD GO
TO THE CAFE AT THE BOOKSTORE
452
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,268
AND DISCUSS
THE EUROPEAN DEBT CRISIS.
453
00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:55,313
- OH, DO WE HAVE TO?
454
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:58,978
- YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
SCREW THEM.
455
00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:00,508
- WELL, ACTUALLY,
456
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,583
THIS IS WHAT I WANTED
TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.
457
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,582
- WHAT'S THAT?
458
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,493
- WELL, WHEN WE FIRST MET,
459
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,315
I WAS REALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU,
460
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,720
BUT THEN AT THE TED TALK,
I REALIZED THAT YOU'RE JUST LIKE
461
00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:12,563
EVERY OTHER SMART GUY
I'VE DATED.
462
00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:14,589
- I AM, YEAH.
I TOTALLY AM, YES.
463
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,504
- RIGHT, BUT THE THING IS--
464
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,226
AND THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT--
465
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:20,971
I'M JUST TIRED
OF DATING THOSE GUYS.
466
00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:25,937
I WANT SOMEBODY MORE FUN,
MORE RECKLESS, MORE GOOFY.
467
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,578
I'M SORRY, VINNIE,
BUT YOU'RE JUST TOO SMART.
468
00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:30,475
- NO!
469
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:31,677
NO, I'M NOT!
470
00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:33,878
NO, I'M NOT SMART.
471
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,450
I'M AN IDIOT. I WAS LYING.
472
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,248
ALL OF THIS CRAP
IS ACTUALLY MINE--
473
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:39,220
THE TOYS, THE VIDEO GAMES.
474
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:40,489
YOU WANT GOOFY?
475
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:41,917
I'M HOVERING 30,
476
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:45,891
AND I HAVE EIGHT DIFFERENT
FART MACHINES.
477
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:48,232
- VINNIE,
DON'T DO THIS TO YOURSELF.
478
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:50,028
WE SHOULD END THIS THING
WITH DIGNITY.
479
00:18:50,029 --> 00:18:52,999
- NO, NO, NO.
480
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:54,499
YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME.
481
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,871
WENDELL TAUGHT ME HOW TO SAY
ALL THAT SMART STUFF.
482
00:18:56,869 --> 00:18:58,209
HE'S THE REAL GENIUS.
483
00:18:58,205 --> 00:18:59,935
- HEY, LOOK AT ME.
484
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:01,769
I'M SPAGHETTI HEAD.
485
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,675
IT'S SO OBVIOUS,
IT'S FUNNY.
486
00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:10,775
- VINNIE, YOU ARE A SWEET
AND CEREBRAL GUY,
487
00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:12,453
AND I WISH YOU LUCK,
488
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:16,222
BUT I JUST DON'T WANT TO DATE
ANOTHER ASTROPHYSICIST, OKAY?
489
00:19:18,225 --> 00:19:19,655
GOOD-BYE.
490
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,436
- ASTROPHYSICIST?
491
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:38,082
SERIOUSLY?
492
00:19:38,077 --> 00:19:40,907
- SPAGHETTI HEAD?
493
00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:42,323
I'M TOTALLY USING THAT.
494
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:50,716
- I'M SORRY, SPIKE.
495
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,093
YOU'RE A GREAT GUY.
496
00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:53,961
JUST THE FIRE ISN'T LIT.
497
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:57,460
- WHAT A BUMMER.
498
00:19:57,464 --> 00:19:59,004
IT COULDN'T HAVE COME
AT A WORSE TIME.
499
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:01,798
PUNCH ME IN THE FACE 2
BOMBED AT THE BOX OFFICE.
500
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:04,001
I HAVEN'T BEEN PUNCHED
IN A WEEK.
501
00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:07,712
- DON'T LOSE HEART.
YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE NEW.
502
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,177
- NO, I WON'T.
503
00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:12,505
WHO'S GONNA TO WANT TO DATE
A BIG, GIANT IDIOT LIKE ME?
504
00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:15,282
- HI.
505
00:20:15,282 --> 00:20:16,222
I'M GINA.
506
00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:19,124
- WHAT?
507
00:20:19,118 --> 00:20:22,988
WHO WOULD WANT TO DATE
A SMART, SUCCESSFUL LAWYER
508
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:24,919
WITH ALL HER ORIGINAL
BODY PARTS?
509
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:36,573
UH...
510
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,409
I OWN MY OWN CONDO.
35436
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.