Original subtitles

- HEY, THEY'RE SAVING US SEATS AT THE COOL KIDS TABLE.

- [gasps] HEY.

NEW KID.

YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING?

- TIME TO FIRE UP THE DEGRADING NICKNAME MACHINE.

I HAVEN'T HAD A GOOD ONE

SINCE FATTY FATTY DRUNK MOM MOVED AWAY.

- NO, I WAS THINKING WE WELCOME HIM.

- IF WE SIT WITH HIM,

THE COOL KIDS MAY NEVER INVITE US AGAIN.

- SHOWING THE NEW STUDENT

THAT OUR SCHOOL IS FULL OF FRIENDLY FACES

IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

- IT'S SOCIAL SUICIDE. TAKE IT FROM ME.

I BEFRIENDED A NEW KID AND GOT NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT

BUT A BOWL OF CLAM CHOWDER AND A POSTER OF NOAM CHOMSKY.

- YOU'RE WELCOME.

GREETINGS, NEWCOMER,

AND WELCOME TO HINES MIDDLE SCHOOL.

I'M WENDELL, AND THIS IS MY FRIEND

AND OCCASIONAL DEVIL'S ADVOCATE LACY.

- I AM JANN. I AM FROM THE NETHERLANDS.

WHAT IT DO, NEPHEW?

- OH, YOU'RE DUTCH?

I KNOW ALMOST NOTHING ABOUT YOUR COUNTRY

EXCEPT THAT IT'S A UNITARY PARLIAMENTARY DEMOCRACY,

YOUR LARGEST PROVINCE IS GELDERLAND,

AND AMSTERDAM HAS 1,281 BRIDGES.

AND THAT'S ABOUT IT.

INVENTED THE ARTIFICIAL KIDNEY AND THE SUBMARINE.

16 MILLION BICYCLES.

SO HAVE YOU SEEN A LOT OF AMERICA?

- OH, YA.

I'VE SEEN AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL,

AMERICA'S GOT TALENT, AMERICA'S BEST DANCE CREW,

AMERICA'S MOST WANTED.

YOUR DEMOCRACY IS WONDERFUL!

THE ONLY THING I DON'T LIKE IS YOUR CLAM CHOWDER.

NEW ENGLAND SEEMS LIKE A MURKY, TASTELESS PLACE.

- OH, DON'T EAT THAT.

HERE. HAVE SOME OF THESE.

- OH, FO' SHIZZLE.

THESE AMERICAN POTATO CRISPS.

THEY COME IN A CAN.

EACH IDENTICAL TO THE NEXT.

LIKE A MAN ON THE MOON WASN'T ENOUGH.

- SO YOU MADE THIS FOREIGN FREAK FEEL BETTER.

NOW LET'S GO SIT AT THE OTHER TABLE.

- YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO COME BY MY HOUSE SOMETIME.

- YA, THAT WOULD BE DOPE, YO.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU'RE INVITING HIM OVER?

THIS KID'S WEIRD. HE'S GOT NO SOCIAL UPSIDE.

- NONSENSE.

JANN IS INTERESTING AND MYSTERIOUS.

HE'S GOT THAT AIR OF EUROPEAN SOPHISTICATION.

- [munching loudly]

[quirky brass music]

*

- * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD

- * NEVER FELT SO GOOD

- * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD

- * NEVER FELT SO GOOD

- * SO WAIT A MINUTE

* HEY

* I NEVER FELT SO GOOD

- UGH.

I JUST HOPE WENDELL'S NEW BUDDY HAS A COOL DAD.

- OH, THAT'S SO CUTE.

YOU WANT A NEW BUDDY TOO, DON'T YOU, LITTLE GUY?

YES, YOU DO. YES, YOU DO.

- NO.

IT'S JUST THAT WHEN KIDS BECOME FRIENDS,

THEIR PARENTS ARE FORCED TO BECOME FRIENDS TOO.

YOU KNOW, I HAVEN'T SEEN ANY OF MY GOOD FRIENDS

IN, LIKE, SIX MONTHS.

BUT I'M IN A SCRAPBOOKING CLUB WITH LACY'S ABUELA.

WHICH REMINDS ME, OH,

I GOT TO PICK HER UP AT THE AIRPORT LATER.

- VINNIE, I'VE GOT STROOPWAFELS.

- OH, JUST PUT ON AN EXTRA PAIR OF UNDERWEAR,

AND DON'T SIT ON THE COUCH.

- NO, THEY'RE DUTCH CARAMEL WAFER COOKIES.

- I'D STILL GO WITH THE EXTRA UNDERWEAR.

[knocking at door]

- PLEASE BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR.

WE ARE AMBASSADORS FOR THE UNITED STATES!

- AMBASSADOR, HUH?

WELL, THAT'S THE BEST FIVE BUCKS

I EVER SPENT ON A PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN.

- HELLO.

I AM DIRK.

MY CHILD IS HERE TO SPEND TIME WITH YOUR CHILD.

- HEY, I'M VINNIE. COME ON IN.

- WENDELL, I AM HERE.

- WELCOME.

I THOUGHT MAYBE WE COULD START

WITH A DISCUSSION OF REMBRANDT AND THE DUTCH MASTERS.

- REALLY?

I WAS HOPING WE COULD WATCH HOT IN CLEVELAND.

- OR WE CAN DO THAT.

- SO THIS IS THE TYPICAL AMERICAN HOME

I'VE SEEN SO MUCH ON TV.

SHOW ME YOUR ANGRY IN-LAWS.

- WELL, I CAN SHOW YOU THE TYPICAL AMERICAN BOY'S ROOM.

I HAVE FOSSILS, MOLD GARDEN,

AND PORTRAITS OF EVERY SUPREME COURT JUSTICE.

- USA! USA! USA!

- HI. I'M TARYN.

WELCOME TO LOS ANGELES.

I'M STILL PRETTY NEW AROUND HERE TOO, SO...

- WHERE IS YOUR TOILET?

- OH, IT'S JUST PAST THE AIR HOCKEY TABLE.

WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SHOW YOU THE WAY?

- NO, I'M JUST WEIGHING MY OPTIONS.

- SO A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME.

I'M ORIGINALLY FROM TEXAS.

- MY DECISION IS MADE.

- WOW, THAT WAS A LITTLE WEIRD.

I WAS BEING MY NICE, CHARMING, BUBBLY SELF,

AND HIS RESPONSE WAS, "WHERE'S THE CAN"?

- IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T WANT TO TALK.

- HOW CAN THEY NOT WANT TO TALK?

JUST SAY, "HI, HOW YOU DOING?"

CHEW THE FAT. HAVE A CHIN WAG.

- NOW I GOT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.

- STOP IT.

I WAS BEING FRIENDLY. THAT'S MY THING.

I'M GONNA WIN HIM OVER. - MM-HMM.

- I CAN WIN OVER ANYBODY. - MM.

- ALL IT TAKES IS A SMILE AND THE RIGHT ATTITUDE.

- YOU'RE GONNA PUT ON YOUR SHORT SHORTS, AREN'T YOU?

- THEY'RE LUCKY.

- OH, I SEE YOU DON'T MIND

IF WENDELL DOESN'T PICK UP HIS TOYS.

- OH, NO, NO. THESE ARE MINE.

I COLLECT.

YOU SEE, I'M SORT OF A BROKER

IN, HOW DO YOU SAY--

- GARBAGE.

I SEE.

YOU'RE CREATING SORT OF A MUSEUM

OF MIND-NUMBING BANALITY.

- WELL, THAT'S NOT WHAT WE HAVE ON THE WEBSITE,

BUT YEAH.

SO HOLLAND, HUH?

- YA.

- YA? - YA, YA.

- SO, HEY, YOU KNOW ANY GOOD JOKES?

- OH, OF COURSE. [laughs]

DUTCH ARE FAMOUS FOR OUR "YOKES."

- ALL RIGHT!

- [clears throat]

KNOCK, KNOCK.

- OH. WHO'S THERE?

- THE POLICE.

YOU ARE WANTED FOR QUESTIONING IN A MURDER.

NO, NO, NO.

NOT REALLY.

[laughing]

- THAT'S--THAT WAS FUN.

- [laughs]

HEY, KNOCK KNOCK AGAIN.

- ANOTHER ONE. OKAY.

UH, WHO'S THERE? [chuckles]

- NO ONE. YOU WILL DIE ALONE.

- I'M SURE THE JOKES ARE FUNNIER IN DUTCH.

- NO.

[quirky jazz music]

- WENDELL, SPENDING TIME WITH YOU

HAS MADE MOVING HERE EASY PEASY LEMON SQUEEZY.

MY FIRST TIME BOWLING, GO-KARTING,

GOING TO A BATTING CAGE.

- MINE TOO.

- DUTCH BOY SURE LOVES THE CAFETERIA FOOD.

- IT'S DELICIOUS.

TASTES LIKE A LABORATORY IN MY MOUTH.

IN MY COUNTRY,

CHILDREN CAN ONLY BE SERVED ACTUAL FOOD.

- WHAT'S THE WEIRD KID'S DEAL?

- I'M STILL ADJUSTING TO THE NEW--

- NOT YOU.

- OH. THIS IS JANN, AND HE'S DUTCH.

- SO THAT'S WHY YOU WANTED TO SIT WITH HIM INSTEAD OF US?

SOUNDS BORING.

- I DON'T THINK YOU'D BE SO BORED

ONCE YOU KNOW THAT THE DUTCH INVENTED THE WOODEN SHOE

OR, AS THEY CALL IT, THE SABOT.

- NOPE STILL BORED.

- SEE YOU, LOSERS.

- YEAH, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

- HE KNOWS DIRTY WORDS IN DUTCH.

- HUH? - OH, YEAH?

- REALLY?

- JANN, IT'S SHOWTIME.

DAZZLE THEM.

- [speaking Dutch]

- WAIT FOR IT.

- [speaks Dutch]

all: OH!

- WAIT. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

- [whispering indistinctly]

all: OH!

- THAT IS AWESOME!

[quirky brass music]

- HELLO, WENDELL.

THANK YOU FOR INTRODUCING ME TO NEW FRIENDS.

- HEY, MY FRIENDS ARE YOUR FRIENDS.

- I THINK THE WORLD WOULD BE A MORE BEAUTIFUL PLACE

IF ALL THE CHILDREN COULD JOIN HANDS

AND EXCHANGE DIRTY WORDS.

- WHO WANTS TO SEE HOW MUCH THE MOLD SPORES HAVE GROWN?

- I DO!

- I HOPE YOU HAVE AN APPETITE.

I BROUGHT SNACKS!

- OH, DEAR GOD! THAT IS A SOMETHING.

- SOUSED HERRING, A DUTCH TREAT.

- OH, I THOUGHT A DUTCH TREAT WAS SEPARATE CHECKS.

- [laughs]

THAT REMINDS ME. YOU OWE ME $15.48 FOR THE FISH.

- HEY, Y'ALL.

BROUGHT YOU A LITTLE TASTE OF TEXAS.

SHEET CAKE.

- SHEET CAKE?

- YEAH, SHEET CAKE.

- [slowly] SHEET CAKE?

- I JUST THOUGHT I'D SHOW YOU

HOW PLEASANT AND INVITING L.A. CAN BE.

- LOS ANGELES IS ONE MASSIVE SHEET CAKE,

AND EACH DAY I AM FORCED TO TAKE A BITE.

- OKAY.

SO WHAT'S IN THE BAG?

- OH, THAT QUESTION JUST COST YOU $15.48.

- SOUSED HERRING. YOU MAY HAVE SOME.

- YUM. I'D LOVE--

HELLO.

- BITE IT.

THE BONES HAVE BEEN REMOVED.

- MM.

HERRING.

THEY SOUSED IT PERFECTLY.

- OH, COME NOW.

A BIGGER BITE!

LIKE A GRIZZLY BEAR!

- YEAH, LIKE A GRIZZLY BEAR!

DO IT FOR AMERICA!

- [growls]

- TELL THAT GUY IF HE FEEDS HER

SHE'S JUST GONNA KEEP COMING BACK.

GOD, I HATE L.A.

APPARENTLY, ALL THE GANG CRIME'S UNDER CONTROL,

SO THEY'RE GOING AFTER THE REAL ISSUE: JAYWALKERS.

- OH, WILMA, THIS IS DIRK.

HE'S FROM THE LAND OF TULIPS, WINDMILLS, AND DIKES.

- PORTLAND HAS WINDMILLS?

- HELLO.

I DIDN'T EXPECT TO MEET SOMEONE SO INTERESTING

IN A PLACE SO SUNNY.

- SUNNY. I KNOW, RIGHT?

I MEAN, 72 DEGREES AND BLUE SKIES EVERY DAY.

MAKES ME WANT TO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE.

SOME DAYS I JUST WISH FOR A FEW...

both: CLOUDS.

- I WISH TO TAKE YOU TO A FINE DUTCH RESTAURANT.

I'M SURE YOU WILL ENJOY THE BITTER BALLS.

- NEVER HEARD OF BITTER BALLS,

BUT, GOSH, I THINK I'D LOVE THEM.

[both laugh]

[quirky piano music]

[indistinct chatter]

- OH, HALLO, JANN.

I THOUGHT WE'D SIT OVER THERE.

- NO, I SIT HERE NOW.

- OH, BUT THERE'S NOWHERE FOR US TO SIT.

- YA, IT'S ALL GOOD.

SEACREST OUT.

- YEAH!

- SEACREST.

- I CAN'T BELIEVE JANN TRADED UP.

- WHAT A... [speaks Dutch]

- DIRK IS KILLING ME!

WE GO TO THE MOVIES. WE GO TO DINNER.

HE'S CALLING ME AT 4:00 IN THE MORNING

TO TELL ME SOCCER SCORES.

AND GUESS WHAT!

IT'S ALWAYS NIL, NIL.

I'M STARTING TO MISS LACY'S ABUELA.

WE'RE GETTING SO BEHIND ON WATCHING OUR STORIES.

- YEAH, WELL, I HATE THAT DAMN FISH

AND MY SHORT SHORTS.

AND IT WAS LIKE I WAS INVISIBLE!

- MAYBE HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU.

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

- EVERYBODY LIKES ME.

I'M LIKEABLE AS HELL!

- YOU KNOW, MAYBE IT'S NOT YOU. IT'S HIM.

HE'S A LITTLE OFF.

- I KNOW.

THAT'S WHY I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING DARK,

SOMETHING NO NORMAL MAN WOULD WANT TO DO.

- BUT HE'S ALREADY GOT WILMA.

- OH, YES! THE CORPSE FLOWER!

- EASY. SHE'S STILL MY SISTER.

- NO, THERE'S A GIANT PLANT ON DISPLAY AT DOHENY GARDENS.

IT EMITS A HORRIBLE ODOR THAT SMELLS LIKE ROTTING MEAT

TO ATTRACT INSECTS.

THEY SAY IT SMELLS LIKE DEATH.

- I'M JUST GONNA SAY THIS ONCE.

NEVER THROW ME A SURPRISE PARTY.

- HELLO.

OR AS MY NEW BOYFRIEND WOULD SAY,

HALLO.

[laughs]

IT'S ALL DIFFERENT OVER THERE!

- HEY. HOW WERE DIRK'S BITTER BALLS?

- OH, AMAZING.

WE HAD A REALLY LOVELY EVENING.

I MEAN, FOR PEOPLE FROM TOTALLY DIFFERENT CULTURES,

WE HATE A LOT OF THE SAME THINGS.

- I'M HAPPY FOR YOU.

- OH, THANK YOU. THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME.

ISN'T IT SO FUNNY

HOW MUCH HE LIKES ME

AND HOW MUCH HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU?

- I'M HAPPY FOR YOU, WILMA.

ENOUGH SAID.

- MM, NOT REALLY. LET'S TALK ABOUT IT.

SHOULD WE START WITH HOW LOVEABLE I AM

OR HOW HATEABLE YOU ARE?

- WHAT'S WRONG? - [sighs]

I GUESS JANN'S TOO POPULAR TO ASSOCIATE WITH ME NOW.

HE TRADED UP.

- WHAT? HE TRADED UP?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

SOMETIMES YOU THINK YOUR FRIENDS HAVE ABANDONED YOU,

BUT REALLY, IT'S JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING.

- I DON'T KNOW, UNCLE VINNIE. SEEMED PRETTY CLEAR.

HE JUST WASN'T THAT INTO ME.

YOU KNOW THAT FEELING?

all: YEAH.

- HEY, DON'T WORRY, BUDDY.

I PROMISE YOU HE DIDN'T TRADE UP.

OF COURSE HE TRADED UP! IT'S THE SMART MOVE!

LOOK, ALL WE GOT TO DO IS FORCE THEM TOGETHER,

AND THEY'LL BE FRIENDS AGAIN.

IT'S NOT QUALITY TIME. IT'S QUANTITY TIME.

- THAT'S INSANE.

- UH, THERE'S FOUR LETHAL WEAPON MOVIES

THAT WOULD BEG TO DIFFER.

LOOK, I'M GONNA CALL DIRK.

WILMA, YOU JUST BE PREPARED TO DO ANYTHING.

I MEAN MORE PREPARED.

- I'M SO SAD FOR WENDELL.

- I KNOW. POOR GUY.

I MEAN, HE IS LIKE THE TARYN OF THAT SITUATION.

UGH! - COME ON.

NO, HE IS NOT. YOU TAKE THAT BACK.

HE HAS A CHANCE.

[quirky brass music]

- EVERYONE WILL GET A CHANCE

TO GET A GOOD LOOK AT THE CORPSE FLOWER,

SO PLEASE, NO CUTTING OR JOSTLING IN LINE.

- UGH, IT'S LIKE A CARIBBEAN CRIME SCENE IN HERE!

IT SMELLS LIKE HOT GARBAGE AND MURDER.

- IT ONLY HAPPENS ONCE EVERY TEN YEARS.

OH, MY GOD!

IT SMELLS LIKE SOMEONE BOILED SHRIMP AND MEDICAL WASTE

AND LEFT IT IN A LITTER BOX.

- NO, IT SMELLS LIKE I'M TUNNELING

THROUGH AN OGRE'S COLON

AFTER A CAJUN BUFFET.

THERE IS NO WAY JANN IS SHOWING UP FOR THIS.

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

WENDELL BASSETT AND A GIANT STINKING FLOWER?

WHO'S GONNA SAY NO TO THAT?

HE COULD EASILY SAY NO TO THAT.

- HELLO.

- HEY.

DID YOU GUYS BIKE HERE ALL THE WAY FROM HOLLYWOOD?

both: YA.

- WELL, WHERE DID YOU LOCK THEM UP?

- LOCK?

- WE'LL GIVE YOU A RIDE HOME.

- OH!

SMELLS LIKE A WET FERRET

COOKING ON A RADIATOR.

- JANN, I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME.

- I WOULDN'T MISS IT.

- REALLY?

AFTER THE LUNCHROOM,

I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU DIDN'T LIKE ME ANYMORE.

- NO, IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING.

WHY YOU BE TRIPPING?

- YOU WERE RIGHT, UNCLE VINNIE.

- I TOLD YOU.

- OH.

IT SMELLS LIKE SOMEONE MICROWAVED A TUMOR.

UGH. IT'S INTOXICATING.

- YOU KNOW, DIRK, I KNEW YOU'D LOVE THIS.

THAT'S WHY I THOUGHT OF IT.

- BACK OFF, WENDY'S LOGO.

LOOK, YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS

BECAUSE A SOPHISTICATED, SLIGHTLY FREAKY EUROPEAN

PREFERS A JUICY STEAK

TO A GAS STATION CORN DOG.

- [gasps]

- HEY, HEY, HEY, COME ON, LADIES.

WE'RE HAVING A GREAT DAY IN FRONT OF A STINKY FLOWER.

LET'S NOT MESS THIS UP.

- NO. FINE.

MAYBE I AM JEALOUS. - YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. YEAH.

- YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I DON'T GET IT, OKAY?

NOBODY DOES!

WHAT IS IT, DIRK?

WHAT IS SO WRONG WITH ME?

- NOTHING. YOU ARE GORGEOUS WOMAN.

"YOYOUS," OPTIMISTIC.

- THANK YOU.

- THAT WAS NOT A COMPLIMENT.

UH, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL SUNSET.

I'VE SEEN 1,000 BEAUTIFUL SUNSETS.

MY WILMA, HOWEVER, IS... [laughs]

HOW DO YOU SAY,

A TRAIN WRECK.

- YOU TELL THEM, DIRK.

WAIT. WHAT?

- SHE IS TRAGICALLY, FATALLY FLAWED.

YOU CAN SEE IT FROM THE MOMENT SHE WALKS INTO THE ROOM

AND CASTS A PALL UPON EVERY VISAGE.

HER MISERY IS CONTAGIOUS.

JUST AS THIS FLOWER TRACKS US WITH ITS STENCH OF DEATH,

SO WILMA LURES US TO HER,

DARING US TO PARTICIPATE IN HER DECAY.

- SO YOU LIKE ME BECAUSE YOU HATE ME?

- NO.

I LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HATE YOU.

- [gasps] THAT--

THAT IS THE MEANEST THING ANYONE'S EVER SAID TO ME!

WE'RE THROUGH.

- YOUR ANGER THRILLS ME!

TAKE ME BACK.

- I SHOULD-- - WILMA?

- I KNOW! ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

- PLEASE, MY WRETCH!

- OH! THAT--

THAT, SIR, IS ENOUGH!

I NEED YOU TO HOP ON YOUR BICYCLE

AND GET OUT OF HERE.

- I CANNOT.

I PROMISED VINNIE THAT I WOULD FORCE JANN

TO ENDURE TIME WITH WENDELL.

- IS THIS TRUE? WERE YOU FORCED TO COME HERE?

- I WASN'T FORCED.

I WAS BRIBED.

MY FATHER PROMISED ME

JAMES GANDOLFINI WOULD TAKE ME TO SEAWORLD.

- YOU KNOW, JANN,

PRETENDING TO BE MY FRIEND

HURTS WORSE THAN NOT BEING MY FRIEND AT ALL.

- SORRY, WENDELL.

I JUST WANTED A REAL GANGSTER TO TAKE ME TO A DOLPHIN SHOW.

- I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE HUMILIATED.

- WAIT, WENDELL. I'M SORRY.

I WANTED TO SPARE YOU THE PAIN OF REJECTION,

AND I MADE IT WORSE.

I'M SORRY YOU PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE

AND JANN USED YOU.

- THIS IS NOT JANN'S FAULT.

HE CANNOT HELP IT IF HE'S BETTER THAN YOUR SON.

- OH, HEY. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

NOBODY'S BETTER THAN ANYBODY.

- NO, IT IS OBJECTIVELY TRUE.

JANN HAS ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK,

AND HE'S ALREADY MORE POPULAR THAN YOUR--

UH, HOW DO YOU PEOPLE SAY--

WEIRD-ASS SON.

- HEY, HEY!

NOBODY TALKS ABOUT MY BOY LIKE THAT!

- YOU ARE INVADING MY PERSONAL SPACE!

PREPARE FOR THE HAMMER OF GREYMAGEN!

- [screams]

- [grunting]

- OH!

[both shouting indistinctly]

[gasps]

- MY TURN! STOP HOGGING IT!

- [shouting]

- OH!

- LOOK, I DID SOME DAMAGE CONTROL

WITH THE COOL KIDS,

AND THEY'RE WILLING TO GIVE US ANOTHER SHOT.

- WHO'S THAT?

- NO. NO, NO, NO!

NOT THE WEIRD ARTSY KID!

WE JUST WENT OVER THIS.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?

WHO HE CHOOSES TO SPEND HIS TIME WITH

AFTER WE GREET HIM IS OUT OF OUR HANDS.

- WENDELL, NO! COME ON!

HE'S WEARING A BERET.

THERE'S NO COMING BACK FROM THAT.