Original subtitles

- IT JUST LOOKED BAD.

THEY CAUGHT YOU WALKING TOWARD THE DOOR WEARING IT.

- THIS IS YOUR FAULT.

- WHAT? MY FAULT?

- YEAH, I WAS HUNGRY.

I SAID I NEEDED A CORNDOG

OR BAD THINGS WERE GONNA GO DOWN.

- I CALLED THE MR. BASSETT ON YOUR EMERGENCY CONTACT CARD.

AND BY THE WAY, NICE LAMINATING JOB, KID.

- WELL, 60% OF EMERGENCIES ARE WATER-BASED, SO YOU KNOW...

- WHERE IS THE LITTLE CRIMINAL?

- OH, NO. PLEASE NO.

THEY CALLED THE WRONG MR. BASSETT.

- WENDELL.

- WELL, HI, GRANDPA.

YOU REMEMBER MY FRIEND LACY, DON'T YOU?

I THINK THE LAST TIME YOU TWO SAW EACH OTHER WAS...

WOW, DON'T TELL ME IT WAS THANKSGIVING.

- OH, YEAH.

THE LITTLE GIRL THAT KNOCKED OVER THE GRAVY.

- LET IT GO, HOWARD.

- SO WHAT'S THE NEXT STEP? YOU CALL THE POLICE?

- NO, FIRST OFFENSE, WE CALL THE PARENTS.

- THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS ENTIRE COUNTRY.

THESE KIDS DON'T HAVE TO FACE CONSEQUENCES.

YOU OUGHT TO PUT THEM IN A TANK WITH A MURDERER.

- IT'S A DISCOUNT CLOTHING OUTLET.

THE ONLY THING GETTING MURDERED HERE IS HIGH PRICES.

- WENDELL!

WENDELL!

HEY, I GOT YOUR TEXT.

I'M GONNA GET YOU OUT OF HERE, OKAY?

- YOU'RE AN IDIOT.

- DAD?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- THE STORE CALLED ME TO BAIL THESE TWO LITTLE THIEVES OUT.

- OKAY, WELL, LET'S NOT GET TOO ANGRY AT THEM.

WENDELL SAYS THEY'RE INNOCENT.

- OH, IT'S NOT THEM I'M ANGRY AT.

- WELL, THERE'S NO ONE ELSE TO GET ANGRY--OH.

- WE'RE IN A HOLDING CELL BECAUSE THEY THINK

THE KID YOU'RE IN CHARGE OF IS A THIEF.

NOW, YOU CAN SAY IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT

BECAUSE THIS IS THE FIRST TIME, BUT BELIEVE ME,

THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME.

AND THEN WHOSE FAULT WILL IT BE?

- I'M GONNA SAY VIDEO GAMES?

- THEY FOUND YOUR JACKET WITH YOUR CELL PHONE IN IT.

I GUESS YOU WEREN'T STEALING.

I'M SORRY FOR THE MIX-UP.

- [sighs] SWEET FREEDOM.

WHEN I GET HOME, I'M JUST GONNA SIT IN MY ROOM AND READ.

- THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE DO IN PRISON, DUMMY.

[quirky brass music]

*

- * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD

- * NEVER FELT SO GOOD

- * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD

- * NEVER FELT SO GOOD

- * SO WAIT A MINUTE

* HEY

* I NEVER FELT SO GOOD

- OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD.

OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD.

DADDY! WHAT YOU MUST'VE BEEN THROUGH.

- WHERE'D YOU GET ALL THAT PHYSICAL AFFECTION FROM?

CERTAINLY NOT YOUR MOTHER.

- OH, DADDY, YOU'RE SO FUNNY.

I'LL GET YOU A SNACK.

- VINNIE, PARK IT.

WENDELL, GO TO YOUR ROOM.

- ALL RIGHT! YEAH!

WHAT?

- LISTEN UP.

I'M ONLY GONNA SAY THIS ONCE BECAUSE IT PAINS ME.

- WELL, THEN DON'T BOTHER-- - THIS WHOLE THING IS MY FAULT.

- GO ON.

- WHEN GARY AND WILMA WERE KIDS, I WAS A YOUNG MAN.

I HAD THE ENERGY TO DISCIPLINE THEM

AND PAY ATTENTION, BRING 'EM UP RIGHT.

- I JUST LOVE THE WAY I WAS BROUGHT UP, DADDY!

- WHY IS SHE LIKE THIS?

ANYWAY, BY THE TIME YOU WERE A TEENAGER,

I WAS WORN OUT.

I'M AFRAID I LET THINGS SLIDE,

AND, WELL, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GROW UP.

- OH, NO, NO, NO.

DO NOT START THIS, DAD.

I'M A GROWN-UP.

- SURE YOU ARE.

I DON'T KNOW HOW I EXPECT YOU TO RAISE YOUR BROTHER'S CHILD

WHEN YOU'RE STILL A CHILD YOURSELF.

YOU GOT NO WIFE. YOU GOT NO JOB.

- I HAVE A JOB.

I RUN MY OWN BUSINESS.

IT'S ALL OF THIS. PEOPLE COLLECT THIS STUFF.

- VINNIE, I AM LOOKING AT WHAT APPEARS TO BE

A FOUR-FOOT DOG DRESSED AS A BELLHOP.

ARE YOU TELLING ME

PEOPLE ACTUALLY GIVE YOU MONEY FOR THAT?

- YEAH, AT LEAST $2,000.

AND IT'S A DOGGIE BUTLER, DAD. JEEZ.

- IT'S TOO LATE FOR YOU, BUT NOT FOR WENDELL.

YOU GOT TO BE TOUGH WITH HIM;

STRICT RULES, BIG CONSEQUENCES WHEN HE BREAKS THEM.

AND FOR GOD SAKES, KEEP HIM AWAY FROM THAT LACY KID.

SHE IS A BAD INFLUENCE

AND CAN'T HOLD A GRAVY BOAT TO SAVE HER LIFE.

- THAT IS EXCELLENT ADVICE, DADDY.

PRETZELS AND BEER.

- UH, NO.

AND IN GENERAL, NO.

- LACY'S A SWEET GIRL.

SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO MANAGED TO PULL WENDELL OUT OF HIS SHELL

WHEN HE FIRST MOVED HERE.

- I TOOK ALL THE SALT OFF THE PRETZELS

JUST LIKE YOU LIKE, DADDY.

- I AM TELLING YOU,

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE STRONG WITH WENDELL, OKAY?

JUST...

DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES I DID.

YOU'LL REGRET IT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

- YOU'RE... YOU'RE LEAVING?

YOU DIDN'T EVEN TOUCH YOUR--

OH, YAY. I WOULD LOVE TO COME WITH YOU.

- NO, NO, NO. WILMA, WILMA, WILMA.

DO NOT CHASE AFTER HIM.

YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS.

- YOU'RE...

YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT.

THANK YOU. BUT I CAN'T HELP IT.

DADDY, I'M COMING!

DADDY, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!

HOLD ON! OH.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT. I LOVE...

I LOVE YOU-- I LOVE YOU TOO.

- [sobbing]

I SUPPOSE YOU WANT TO KNOW

WHY I'M SITTING OUT HERE, CRYING.

- UM...

- IT'S MY EX-HUSBAND.

- LOVE, HUH?

ANY-WHOODLE, I'M GONNA TAKE OFF.

- TODAY HE POSTED ON FACEBOOK,

"DIVORCED FOR 278 DAYS, AND EACH IS BETTER THAN THE LAST."

- OH.

WELL, THAT... THAT REALLY IS LOUSY.

- SO I SHOVED EVERYTHING THAT REMINDED ME OF HIM IN THIS BOX.

AND NOW I'M MAYBE GONNA THROW IT DOWN THE TRASH SHOOT.

- MAYBE?

OKAY, I'M SORRY.

YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON FROM THIS YUTZ.

HERE, LET ME HELP YOU.

- REALLY? YOU WOULD HELP ME?

- YEAH. I MEAN...

JUST, YOU'VE BEEN REJECTED, AND YOU LOOK KIND OF HORRIBLE,

WHICH MAKES ME, OF COURSE, FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOU,

SO UM, GIVE ME THE BOX, AND I'LL THROW IT AWAY FOR YOU.

- I CAN'T.

NO. [grunting]

- THERE! ATTA GIRL.

- AH. - ATTA GIRL.

OKAY? ALL RIGHT.

- WHOO! THANKS.

I FEEL BETTER ALREADY.

I'M A BIT OF A SLOW MOVER.

- WELL, REALLY NICE BRACELET IN HERE.

- YEAH.

YEAH, HE GAVE THAT TO ME ON OUR 25TH DATE

AFTER WE FINALLY...

- FINALLY...

WOW.

YOU REALLY ARE A SLOW MOVER.

- THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

- ALL RIGHT. HERE YOU GO.

[sighs]

[knock at door]

- HEY.

YOU OKAY?

- YEAH, I GUESS.

I'M SORRY I GOT YOU IN TROUBLE WITH GRANDPA.

- OH, DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT THAT.

- THE FOLLOWING IS A LIST OF POSSIBLE PUNISHMENTS

FOR YOUR APPROVAL.

FIRST, I SHAVE MY HEAD.

I THEN WEAVE MY HAIR INTO A SHAME QUILT,

WHICH I WILL WEAR FOR ONE YEAR.

- NO, I'M NOT PUNISHING YOU.

YOUR GRANDPA THINKS-- AND I AGREE--

IT COULDN'T HURT TO MAYBE FIND A FEW MORE NEW FRIENDS.

- INSTEAD OF LACY?

- NO, NO. NO.

I LOVE LACY.

JUST BROADEN YOUR HORIZONS, YOU KNOW?

EVERYBODY COULD USE SOME MORE FRIENDS, RIGHT?

- YEAH, I GUESS SO.

- WELL, GREAT.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU KNOW, I HAD A SHAME QUILT WHEN I WAS 14.

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

- I'M SAYING, AFFORDABLE NANOTECHNOLOGY

WILL CATALYZE THE NEXT PHASE OF HUMAN EVOLUTION.

- THE REAL BOTTLENECK

WILL BE FINDING AN EFFICIENT POWER SOURCE.

- WOW, THAT'S INTERESTING.

MIND IF I JOIN IN THE CONVERSATION?

[all laugh]

- I'M PRETTY SURE YOU CAN'T.

WE'RE FROM THE MAGNA CARTA MAGNET SCHOOL.

- YOU REGULAR SCHOOL KIDS DON'T REALLY DELVE INTO THE SUBJECTS

WE FIND STIMULATING.

- OH, REALLY?

THEN HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT UCLA JUST DEVELOPED A SUPER CAPACITOR

THAT WILL HELP SOLVE THAT NANOTECHNOLOGY PROBLEM?

- JUST BECAUSE YOU HAD A SCIENCE FACT OFF OF A YOGURT TUBE

DOESN'T MEAN WE SPEAK THE SAME LANGUAGE.

- OH, SO YOU DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH, SPANISH,

FRENCH, GERMAN, OR MANDARIN?

- [speaking Latin]

[all laugh]

- [speaking Latin]

- NOT BAD, NOT BAD.

WHAT'S THE 107TH DIGIT OF PI?

- 8. IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?

- WHAT IS THE GLABELLA?

- THE SPACE BETWEEN THE EYEBROWS.

- HOW MANY SIBLINGS DID SHAKESPEARE HAVE?

- SEVEN.

- IS SCHRODINGER'S CAT DEAD OR ALIVE?

- BOTH.

- VERY GOOD.

WE THREW SOME HARD QUESTIONS AT YOU.

IMPRESSIVE. YOU CAN HANG WITH US.

VICTOR, YOU'RE OUT.

- BUT-- - YOU HEARD HIM.

- WE SHOULD HANG OUT.

- HEY.

ALL RIGHT, TELL HIM YOUR GOOD NEWS.

- WILMA, I JUST HEARD YOU COME IN,

AND I HAD TO THANK YOU AGAIN.

YOU WERE SO KIND TO HELP ME WITH...

WHAT'S THAT?

- WHAT?

- THAT. THAT'S MY BRACELET.

- WELL, WE'RE A LITTLE BUSY RIGHT NOW,

SO, WENDELL, TELL YOUR UNCLE THE GOOD NEWS.

- WELL, I WAS--

- YOU WERE GOING TO GET RID OF THAT BRACELET FOR ME.

I WASN'T EVER SUPPOSED TO HAVE TO SEE IT AGAIN.

- I...

[stammering]

OKAY.

OH.

WAHOO. THERE.

[sighs]

- OH, WILMA.

I APPRECIATE THAT.

- ALL RIGHT.

OH, OH! HEY, HEY!

HEY!

YOU JUST SAID YOU DIDN'T WANT TO SEE IT ANYMORE.

- NO, I SAID I WANTED IT GONE.

BUT IT'S NOT GONE.

IT'S IN YOUR STUPID KNOCKOFF PURSE.

- [grunting]

HOW DO YOU KNOW IT'S KNOCKOFF?

THE STITCHING IS PERFECT!

- LADIES, PLEASE.

- NO, NO, NO! DON'T GET INVOLVED.

JUST STAY STILL AND DON'T MAKE EYE CONTACT.

AND IF THEY TURN ON US,

JUST PUFF UP AND LOOK AS BIG AS POSSIBLE.

- [grunting]

UGH!

PURSE SNATCHER.

- JEWELRY THIEF.

UGH.

- SO, WENDELL, TELL HIM THE GOOD NEWS.

- OKAY.

WELL, TODAY I MADE A BUNCH OF NEW FRIENDS.

- YOU DID? THAT'S FANTASTIC!

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU, WENDELL.

AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, I'M PROUD OF ME FOR SUGGESTING IT.

- THEY'RE REALLY SMART.

I THINK WE'RE DEFINITELY GOING TO HANG OUT.

- YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S GREAT.

HERE IS 20 BUCKS.

DO WHATEVER YOU KIDS DO.

GUESS WHO'S GONNA BUY A FAST PASS TO THE MUSEUM OF TOLERANCE!

YEAH!

- MY PRECIOUS.

[all laughing]

- OKAY, ENOUGH.

THAT'S ENOUGH. THANK YOU.

- NO, IT'S TOO FUNNY.

- WE WERE JUST TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEANT.

- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT, YOU LITTLE--

- HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

- THEY WERE ACTING LIKE WISE GUYS,

SO I TOLD THEM,

"IF YOU THINK YOU CAN ACT LIKE THAT IN MY CAR,

YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING."

[all laughing]

- SHE SAID "THING."

I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE SAID "THING."

- [laughs mockingly]

WHAT ARE WE LAUGHING AT?

- THE ACTUAL PHRASE IS,

"YOU HAVE ANOTHER THINK COMING."

- SHE SAID "THING" LIKE A TOTAL MORON.

IT'S "THINK."

- OKAY, OKAY.

GUYS, GIVE HER A BREAK.

SHE'S HAD A LOT OF THINKS ON HER MIND.

- OKAY.

- ALL RIGHT. OKAY.

LET'S JUST SETTLE DOWN, SETTLE DOWN.

WHAT'S UP, DUDES? I'M VINNIE.

- "WHAT'S UP, DUDES? I'M VINNIE."

WENDELL, YOU DESCRIBED HIM PERFECTLY.

LIKE THE COVER OF SLACKER MAGAZINE.

- HUH?

- BAD POSTURE, GAMER T-SHIRT,

KETCHUP ON THE PANTS, $13 HAIRCUT.

- HEY!

REMEMBER WHEN SHE SAID "THING" INSTEAD OF "THINK"?

[all laughing]

[knock at door]

- HEY, WENDELL.

- UH, HI.

- CAN I COME IN?

- WELL, ACTUALLY, NOW'S A BAD TIME.

I HAVE FRIENDS HERE.

- I THOUGHT I WAS A FRIEND.

- YEAH, BUT I'M EXPANDING MY CIRCLE NOW,

SO... SEE YOU AROUND.

- WENDELL.

- COME ON, GUYS, LET'S GO TO MY ROOM.

- WHAT WAS THAT?

- I BELIEVE THAT WAS WENDELL FITTING IN WITH HIS NEW FRIENDS.

- MAN, I JUST TOOK DAD'S ADVICE.

- GOD, IT IS PATHETIC HOW DESPERATE YOU ARE

TO WIN THAT OLD SENILE GAS BAG'S APPROVAL.

- YOU KNOW HE'S IN THE KITCHEN, RIGHT?

- WHAT? - YEAH.

- YOU... YOU SCARED ME.

YOU SCARED ME.

THAT'S NOT-- IT'S NOT FUNNY.

YOU SCARED ME.

- THANKS FOR COMING OVER.

- IS SHE HERE?

- NO, YOU'RE GOOD.

ALL RIGHT, DAD, I'M HAVING A LITTLE PROBLEM WITH WENDELL.

I DID WHAT YOU SAID.

HE'S GOT A WHOLE NEW SET OF FRIENDS,

BUT HE'S KIND OF PICKED UP A REAL NASTY ATTITUDE FROM THEM.

- NOW COMES THE HARD PART.

WENDELL HAS TO BE PUNISHED.

- UGH.

YEAH.

I THINK THAT'S THE RIGHT CALL.

IT'S THE SECOND DOOR ON THE RIGHT.

JUST KEEP MY NAME OUT OF IT, OKAY?

- OH, NO.

NOT ME, NO.

THIS IS YOUR JOB.

YOU HAVE TO PUNISH HIM.

- DAD, THIS IS YOUR THING.

YOU ARE THE MASTER.

WHEN YOU TELL PEOPLE TO DO SOMETHING, YOU DO IT.

- GET UP THERE AND DISCIPLINE THAT BOY.

- YES, SIR.

SEE?

YOU HAVE AUTHORITY. I DON'T.

- YOU CAN.

IT'S BASIC CHILD REARING.

LOOK, WHEN YOU'RE RAISING A KID,

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO MAKE SURE

THAT THEY HAVE SOMETHING THEY REALLY LOVE.

AND DO YOU KNOW WHY?

- SO THEY BECOME WELL-ROUNDED PEOPLE?

- NO, MARY POPPINS.

SO YOU CAN TAKE IT AWAY FROM THEM.

- THAT'S HORRIBLE.

- IT'S CALLED LOVE.

- WOW, YOU REALLY LOVED US A LOT.

- SURE DID.

REMEMBER THAT DAY I THREW YOUR BIKE DOWN THE RAVINE?

- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. YEAH.

YEAH, THAT ONE STUCK WITH ME.

- YEAH.

ANYWAY, GET UP THERE AND BREAK THAT KID'S HEART.

- I'VE HEARD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OUT OF YOU.

- OH, WHERE'D THAT COME FROM?

- I'M JUST PRACTICING. - THAT'S NOT BAD.

- OKAY.

- LEVEL FIVE.

[both laugh]

EXCUSE ME, BUT WHATEVER HAPPENED TO KNOCKING?

- WENDELL, I NEED TO SPEAK WITH YOU PRIVATELY.

- ANYTHING YOU NEED TO SAY TO ME,

YOU CAN SAY IN FRONT OF MY BOYS.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

- FINE, SMART GUY.

YOU GONNA GIVE ME THAT ATTITUDE?

I AM TAKING THIS THROW PILLOW.

SAY GOOD-BYE TO THIS.

HANG ON. HANG ON A MINUTE.

I'M NEW AT THIS, OKAY? JUST...

AHA! BOOKS!

- WHAT? NO!

- OH, YEAH!

OH, YEAH!

VINNIE JUST BROUGHT DOWN THE HAMMER.

NO MORE BOOKS FOR WENDELL.

- BIG DEAL.

HE CAN GET ANY BOOK HE WANTS ON HIS COMPUTER.

- TECHNOLOGY MUCH?

- ALL RIGHT, I'M TAKING THIS.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DON'T HELP HIM.

- RELAX. YOU STILL HAVE A PHONE.

- WILL YOU SHUT UP?

- HA!

- AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT GROUNDED.

- OH, MY GOD!

- GREAT IDEA, THEO. YEAH.

- YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE.

- HEY, AT LEAST WE DIDN'T TELL HIM ABOUT YOUR TABLET.

- THAT'S WHY YOU LURK OUTSIDE THE ROOM

FOR FOUR SECONDS AFTER YOU LEAVE.

YEAH.

STOP COMPLAINING. WE'RE ALMOST DONE.

ALL RIGHT, THAT OUGHT TO DO IT FOR MEDICAL-THEMED NONFICTION.

- OH, WILMA, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

NO HARD FEELINGS.

I FOUND SOMETHING TO HELP ME GET OVER THE BRACELET.

- I KNEW YOU'D GET THERE, SWEETHEART.

WHAT DID YOU FIND?

- WELL, I WENT THROUGH YOUR TRASH,

KIND OF LIKE YOU WENT THROUGH MINE,

AND LO AND BEHOLD, I FOUND A TREASURE.

- OH!

THAT'S FAT WILMA!

- [stammering]

NO, THAT'S... THAT'S PERSONAL.

THAT'S PRIVATE.

I HAD IT ON MY FRIDGE TO KEEP ME ON MY DIET.

- OH, REALLY?

WOW, 'CAUSE I MUST'VE GONE THROUGH 15 CARTONS

OF COOKIE DOUGH ICE CREAM TO GET IT.

- WHAT? [stammering]

ALL RIGHT, IT DIDN'T WORK. IT DIDN'T WORK.

I HATE THAT PICTURE.

THAT'S WHY I THREW IT AWAY.

- EXACTLY.

SO DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

I'LL JUST HAVE IT UP IN MY ROOM.

AND I'M SURE IT WON'T EVER GET ON FACEBOOK.

- OH, THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET EVEN UGLIER.

- WHICH, WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT,

IS A PERFECT CAPTION FOR THAT PHOTO.

- OH!

MOVE! MOVE!

- HEY, AUNT WILMA.

COMMANDANT.

- ALL RIGHT, KNOCK IT OFF.

THIS IS NO PICNIC FOR ME EITHER.

IT'S KIND OF LIKE I'M GROUNDED TOO.

- WELL, SO TAKE IT BACK.

- I CAN'T. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

- TOO BAD, BECAUSE IF YOU DID,

WE COULD GO SEE IRON MAN 3 LIKE YOU WANTED TONIGHT.

- IRON MAN?

- IRON MAN.

HEY, DID YOU FORGET BLIZZCON IS THIS WEEKEND?

- BLIZZCON?

- BLIZZCON.

- STOP IT!

STOP SAYING THINGS I LIKE IN THAT DREAMY VOICE.

I CAN'T TAKE IT BACK.

WE ARE STILL GROUNDED.

- VERY WELL.

OH, AND BY THE WAY,

LOVE WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH THE PLACE.

HEY, THERE'S MY DICTIONARY.

YOU CAN LOOK UP THE WORD "SARCASM."

[knocking at door]

- OH, HEY, LACY.

WENDELL CAN'T COME DOWN. HE'S GROUNDED.

- I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.

I JUST CAME BY TO RETURN THE BOOK THAT WENDELL LENT ME.

- OH, NOT ANOTHER WORD BRICK.

UGH.

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

ONE DAY, WE'RE BEST FRIENDS,

AND THE NEXT DAY, HE GOES OUT

AND FINDS THOSE MAGNET SCHOOL JERKS.

WHAT MADE HIM CHANGE?

- LIFE IS JUST...

FULL OF QUESTIONS, LACY.

LACY WAS JUST HERE.

SHE'S PRETTY UPSET,

AND I THINK SHE HAS A RIGHT TO BE.

- YOU WANT TO PUNISH ME FOR THAT TOO?

- NO. NOPE.

I'M DONE PUNISHING.

- REALLY?

- YEAH, IT'S YOUR CALL NOW.

IF YOU WANT TO BE A JERK, THEN GO AHEAD AND BE ONE.

- DON'T CALL ME THAT.

- THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL SOMEONE

WHO WALKS ALL OVER OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS.

YOU DO THAT LONG ENOUGH,

YOU'LL JUST BE A SAD AND LONELY GUY.

THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T NEED ME TO PUNISH YOU.

LIFE IS A LOT TOUGHER THAN I AM.

- I... I DON'T WANT TO BE A JERK.

- THEN DUMP THOSE SNOTS

AND GO AFTER YOUR REAL FRIEND BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

- HEY, WHAT YOU JUST SAID, THAT WAS REALLY SMART.

- ARE YOU SURPRISED?

- I MEAN-- - JUST GO.

- WHAT DO YOU WANT?

- I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE HUNGRY, SO I BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING.

I DID HAVE A BUNCH,

BUT I RAN INTO SOME PRETTY AGGRESSIVE SEAGULLS.

- THANKS.

- YOU KNOW, I LIKE YOU SO MUCH,

I'M NOT EVEN GONNA THINK ABOUT WHAT IS IN THESE THINGS.

- ALL RIGHT, ON THE COUNT OF THREE,

EACH OF YOU WILL PUT YOUR ITEM DOWN ON THE COFFEE TABLE

AND STEP BACK.

ARE WE CLEAR?

- YES. - CLEAR.

- ONE, TWO, THREE.

- NO!

NO, THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

THAT IS MY PERSONAL PROPERTY!