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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:12,313 - SO ONCE YOU GET THE EGG WHITES WHIPPED, 2 00:00:12,313 --> 00:00:15,483 WE FOLD IN OUR CONDENSED MILK AND LIME JUICE. 3 00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:17,823 - HOW'D YOU LEARN ALL THESE COOKING ALGORITHMS? 4 00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:20,148 - MY MOM. 5 00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:21,594 AND WE CALL THEM RECIPES. 6 00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:25,458 - WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE? 7 00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:27,329 - KEY LIME PIE IS HAPPENING. 8 00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:28,998 - WHY IS HE IN A COOKING DRESS? 9 00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:30,496 - IT'S AN APRON. 10 00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:31,628 I PUT HIM IN SOME OF MY THINGS 11 00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:33,002 HE DIDN'T WANT TO STAIN HIS CLOTHES. 12 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,170 - YOU'RE RUINING HIM. 13 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,510 HEY, THERE'S GOT TO BE A BASEBALL GAME ON SOMEWHERE... 14 00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:39,666 OR A KUNG FU MOVIE 15 00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:40,943 OR--I JUST GOT THIS DVD 16 00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:42,481 OF GUYS FROM FLORIDA PUNCHING EACH OTHER. 17 00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:43,476 GO PUT THAT ON. 18 00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:45,147 WAIT A MINUTE. 19 00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:47,276 I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING SKATEBOARDING WITH GREGORY. 20 00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:49,181 - I WAS, BUT THEN HE STARTED ASKING ME 21 00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:50,183 ABOUT STUFF I DON'T KNOW, 22 00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:51,354 AND IT JUST FELL APART. 23 00:00:51,352 --> 00:00:52,392 - WHAT STUFF? 24 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,516 - YOU KNOW, SPORTS, TV, HARRY POTTER. 25 00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:57,532 IT WAS LIKE I WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE FROM ANOTHER PLANET. 26 00:00:57,525 --> 00:00:59,685 - WENDELL, YOU HAVE TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE. 27 00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:01,363 - HEY, WHOA. WHOA. 28 00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:03,562 I'LL DO THE PARENTING HERE. 29 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:07,444 WENDELL, YOU HAVE TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE! 30 00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:09,195 THAT'S WHY WE WORKED ON YOUR GO-TO JOKE. 31 00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:10,973 EVERYONE NEEDS AN ICEBREAKER. 32 00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,041 - OOH, LET'S HEAR IT. 33 00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:13,309 I NEED A NEW ONE. 34 00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:14,537 "MY HUSBAND LEFT ME" 35 00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:16,312 ISN'T THE FUN MAGNET I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. 36 00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:20,249 - OKAY. HERE GOES. 37 00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:26,050 - MEN JUST DON'T LIKE ME. 38 00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:28,223 - IT'S NOT JUST MEN. 39 00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:30,222 - WHAT HAPPENED? ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 40 00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:31,264 - AM I ALL RIGHT? 41 00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:32,329 I GOT REJECTED 42 00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:34,396 BY YET ANOTHER DISASTROUS FIRST DATE. 43 00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:37,465 ALL I WANT IS A DISASTROUS SECOND DATE. 44 00:01:37,465 --> 00:01:38,825 - WAS IT THAT BAD? 45 00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:41,242 - UGH. I WON'T GO INTO DETAIL. 46 00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:43,235 LET'S JUST SAY IF YOU KEEP A RAT AS A PET, 47 00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:44,737 EITHER LET A GIRL KNOW OR BE COOL 48 00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:49,078 WHEN SHE SLAMS IT IN THE CAR DOOR A COUPLE OF TIMES. 49 00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:51,576 - I THINK MAYBE YOU'D GET MORE SECOND DATES 50 00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:53,609 IF YOU WERE A LITTLE LESS MEAN. 51 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:54,784 - IS THAT THE KIND OF ADVICE 52 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,252 THAT GOT YOU LIVING ALL BY YOURSELF 53 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:57,790 IN A STRANGE CITY? 54 00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:00,823 OKAY, THAT WAS MEAN. I HEAR IT NOW. 55 00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:02,191 YEAH. 56 00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:03,190 [groans] 57 00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:05,091 GOD, I'M GONNA DIE ALONE. 58 00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:08,498 - YEAH. 59 00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:11,226 WENDELL, 60 00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,532 TELL YOUR JOKE. 61 00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:14,273 - OKAY. 62 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,838 SO IT SEEMS THIS FELLOW WAS-- 63 00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:17,606 - LIKE WE PRACTICED. 64 00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:18,935 - [sighs] 65 00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:20,569 SO THIS GUY... - [grunts] 66 00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:22,384 - GOES TO THE DENTIST AND SAYS, 67 00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:23,436 "DOC, YOU GOT TO HELP ME. 68 00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:24,784 I THINK I'M A MOTH." 69 00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:26,278 THE DENTIST SAYS, "A MOTH? 70 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,450 "YOU DON'T NEED A DENTIST. 71 00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:28,778 YOU NEED A PSYCHIATRIST." 72 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:30,282 THE GUY SAYS, "YEAH, I KNOW." 73 00:02:30,284 --> 00:02:32,454 THE DENTIST GOES, "SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" 74 00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:34,523 THE GUY SAYS, "THE LIGHT WAS ON." 75 00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:36,562 [all cheer] - WENDELL! 76 00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:37,787 - THAT WAS FUNNY. - YEAH? 77 00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,031 - JUST TELL IT LIKE THAT, 78 00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:40,626 AND YOU'LL MAKE TONS OF FRIENDS IN NO TIME. 79 00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:47,368 - THANKS, UNCLE VINNIE. 80 00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:51,438 - HE IS WEARING HIS OWN UNDERWEAR, RIGHT? 81 00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:54,439 [quirky brass music] 82 00:02:54,442 --> 00:02:55,442 * 83 00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:57,453 - * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD 84 00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:59,245 - * NEVER FELT SO GOOD 85 00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:01,447 - * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD 86 00:03:01,449 --> 00:03:04,249 - * NEVER FELT SO GOOD 87 00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:06,152 - * SO WAIT A MINUTE 88 00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:07,153 * HEY 89 00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:09,594 * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD 90 00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:15,902 - THOSE GUYS THERE IN THE DUGOUT 91 00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:18,466 ARE SOME OF THE FINEST ATHLETES IN THE WORLD. 92 00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:20,796 - THEY'RE JUST SCRATCHING THEMSELVES AND SPITTING. 93 00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,401 - EXACTLY. 94 00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:23,443 WHEN I WAS YOUNG, 95 00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:24,607 I USED TO THINK I COULD SCRATCH 96 00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:26,105 AND SPIT PROFESSIONALLY. 97 00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:30,536 THEN YOU GROW UP AND YOU JUST PUT THOSE DREAMS AWAY. 98 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,814 - DID MY DAD LIKE BASEBALL? 99 00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,283 - HE LOVED IT! 100 00:03:34,282 --> 00:03:36,582 GRANDPA USED TO TAKE YOUR DAD AND ME AND AUNT WILMA 101 00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:38,754 TO DODGER STADIUM IN CHAVEZ RAVINE 102 00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,522 JUST LIKE HIS DAD TOOK HIM. 103 00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:42,191 OF COURSE, BACK THEN THERE WAS NO STADIUM. 104 00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:44,589 IT WAS JUST A RAVINE. 105 00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:45,932 - AUNT WILMA LIKE BASEBALL TOO? 106 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,526 - SHE'S CRAZY ABOUT IT. 107 00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:48,828 AS A KID, SHE USED TO ALWAYS DRESS 108 00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:50,929 AS TOMMY LASORDA FOR HALLOWEEN. 109 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,031 THEN IN HIGH SCHOOL, 110 00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:54,302 SHE WAS TOMMY LASORDA WITH FISHNETS. 111 00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:58,414 - MAN, I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO SEE THAT. 112 00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:01,306 - NO, YOU WOULD NOT. 113 00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:02,439 NO, NO, NO! NO! 114 00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:03,443 - HEY, WHAT JUST HAPPENED? 115 00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:04,784 - AH, HE GOT CAUGHT STEALING. 116 00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:05,848 - GOOD. STEALING IS WRONG. 117 00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,616 - NO. 118 00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,845 IN BASEBALL, STEALING IS GOOD. 119 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,620 - KNOCK, KNOCK. 120 00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:12,649 HOW'S IT GOING IN HERE? 121 00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:13,953 - REALLY GOOD. 122 00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:16,864 WENDELL'S REALLY STARTING TO UNDERSTAND BASEBALL. 123 00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:20,987 - SO HOW'S IT REALLY GOING? 124 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,804 - EH, I WON'T LIE. HE'S A CHALLENGE. 125 00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,156 BUT I DON'T CARE. 126 00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:26,474 I'M GONNA GET HIM TO LOVE BASEBALL JUST LIKE I DID. 127 00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:27,837 IT MADE MY CHILDHOOD. 128 00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:29,395 - YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY MADE MY CHILDHOOD 129 00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:30,603 WAS LONG TALKS WITH MY GRANDMA. 130 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:31,744 WE USED TO-- 131 00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:33,669 - DON'T BE RUDE. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ME. 132 00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:39,576 I WAS TEN WHEN THE DODGERS WON THE SERIES IN '88. 133 00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:40,910 MY DAD LET US STAY UP LATE. 134 00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:42,584 I'D NEVER SEEN HIM SO HAPPY. 135 00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,593 WHENEVER THINGS GOT ROUGH BETWEEN US, 136 00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:46,815 WE ALWAYS HAD THE '88 WORLD SERIES. 137 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,190 - THAT'S SO SWEET. 138 00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:49,918 - AND OUR HATRED OF THE YANKEES. 139 00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:51,533 - LITTLE LESS SWEET. 140 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:54,455 - I WANT WENDELL AND I TO HAVE OUR OWN '88 WORLD SERIES. 141 00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:55,802 - OH. 142 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,596 YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY NICE SEEING THIS SIDE OF YOU. 143 00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:58,768 - I KNOW. 144 00:04:58,766 --> 00:05:00,666 EVERY WOMAN I TELL THAT STORY TO 145 00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,368 FALLS A LITTLE MORE IN LOVE WITH ME. 146 00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:03,370 - [scoffs] 147 00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:05,171 COME ON. 148 00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:06,742 AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN "MORE"? 149 00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:11,709 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" 150 00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:13,582 - IS THIS HOW YOU FLIRT? 151 00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,978 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN "THIS"? 152 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:19,494 - OKAY, I'M LEAVING. 153 00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:20,687 - HEY. 154 00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:22,388 WHAT DO YOU MEAN "LEAVING"? 155 00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:30,395 [rapid knocking] 156 00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:33,568 - ALL RIGHT. 157 00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:34,697 - HI. 158 00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,742 I WAS WONDERING IF WE COULD HAVE A CONVERSATION. 159 00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,537 - FORGIVE ME IF THIS SOUNDS RUDE, BUT... 160 00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:39,839 IS THIS A TRAP? 161 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:40,970 - RELAX. 162 00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:43,084 I JUST WANT SOME FRIENDLY ADVICE. 163 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:44,276 - WHEN DID WE BECOME FRIENDS? 164 00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:46,407 - LET'S OPEN SOME WINE, RIGHT? 165 00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:49,554 - OH, I'M NOT SURE I HAVE ANY... 166 00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:50,650 WINE. 167 00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:53,651 UH, I THINK I HAVE SOME... 168 00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:54,964 [glasses clink] GLASSES. 169 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,655 WOW. YOU CAME PREPARED. 170 00:05:56,657 --> 00:05:57,887 ALL WE NEED NOW ARE... 171 00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,431 [nuts clattering] 172 00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:03,125 SNACKS. 173 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:10,140 - THIS IS FUN. 174 00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:11,237 LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION. 175 00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:13,568 DO I COME ACROSS AS DESPERATE TO YOU? 176 00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,844 - OH, NO, NOT DESPERATE. 177 00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:16,913 YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE-- 178 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:18,080 [buzzes] 179 00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:20,478 AND-- [growls] 180 00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,451 - I HAVE ANOTHER FIRST DATE ON THURSDAY, 181 00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:23,880 AND IT'S IMPORTANT TO MY SELF-ESTEEM 182 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,924 THAT I GET A SECOND DATE, MAYBE EVEN A THIRD. 183 00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:28,589 - SO HOW CAN I HELP YOU? 184 00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:30,889 - YOU NEED TO TEACH ME HOW TO BE SWEET. 185 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:31,891 - OH, I'M NOT SURE-- 186 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,632 - YOU NEED TO TEACH ME... 187 00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:37,898 [whispering] HOW TO BE SWEET. 188 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,028 - I CAN TRY TO TEACH YOU 189 00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:42,143 HOW TO BE A LITTLE LESS JUDGMENTAL. 190 00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,235 WHY DON'T WE DO A LITTLE ROLE-PLAY. 191 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,037 YOU BE YOU, AND I'LL BE YOUR DATE. 192 00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,739 - WHAT RESTAURANT ARE WE GOING TO ON THIS DATE? 193 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,211 BECAUSE I DON'T DO CHAIN RESTAURANTS 194 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,809 OR ANY PLACE THAT DEALS WITH A GROUPON 195 00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:52,851 AND IF THE WAITRESS HAS HER HOMETOWN ON HER NAMETAG, 196 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:53,846 I'M OUT. 197 00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:54,877 - WOW. 198 00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,222 OKAY. 199 00:06:56,216 --> 00:07:00,016 WE'RE GOING TO A FIVE-STAR ITALIAN RESTAURANT. 200 00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:02,860 - [laughing] YOU CAN'T AFFORD THAT. 201 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,626 - STOP JUDGING. 202 00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:07,755 LET'S JUST SAY WE'RE IN THE RESTAURANT TALKING. 203 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,631 JUST BE NICE. 204 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:12,170 YOU'RE LOOKING PARTICULARLY LOVELY THIS EVENING. 205 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,495 - SO I LOOKED UGLY BEFORE? I MEAN-- 206 00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:17,302 - YOU'VE GOT TO LEARN TO TAKE A COMPLIMENT, WILMA. 207 00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:20,674 YOU ARE A SUCCESSFUL, BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. 208 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:22,514 - YOU REALLY THINK SO? 209 00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:26,250 - DON'T MAKE THIS ANY HARDER THAN IT HAS TO BE. 210 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,646 - ALL RIGHT, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? 211 00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:28,718 I'M GONNA BE THE DATE, 212 00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:30,776 AND YOU BE ME BEING... YOU BEING ME. 213 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,594 OKAY, YEAH. ALL RIGHT. 214 00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,146 HOW YOU DOING? I'M OGDEN. 215 00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:36,994 I DROVE HERE IN A SCOOTER THAT I BUILT MYSELF. 216 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,660 EVER BEEN IN A SIDECAR? 217 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:42,259 HOPE THAT'S YOUR OWN HAIR, 'CAUSE IT GETS WINDY. 218 00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:44,772 - OGDEN, YOU MUST BE VERY HANDY 219 00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,695 TO HAVE BUILT YOUR OWN SCOOTER. 220 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:47,700 - OH, THAT'S GOOD. 221 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,001 SEE, I WOULD HAVE SAID, 222 00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:51,942 "CALL ME WHEN YOU HAVE TWO MORE WHEELS AND SOME DOORS." 223 00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:52,969 SO... 224 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,583 LISTEN, JUST LOST MY JOB, 225 00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:55,605 SO TO SAVE MONEY, 226 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:59,279 I THOUGHT WE COULD DINE AND DASH. 227 00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:00,279 - OH. 228 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,550 FRUGAL. 229 00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:02,679 SMART. 230 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,023 AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE JOB. 231 00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:05,687 YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU. 232 00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:07,986 LIFE'S RICH WITH POSSIBILITY. 233 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,618 - WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 234 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,455 - WOW, WITH THAT ATTITUDE, WE'RE GONNA BE HERE AWHILE. 235 00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:15,461 WE BETTER ORDER DINNER. 236 00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:17,132 - YOU WANT GREEK OR CHINESE? 237 00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:19,301 THAT'S YOURS. 238 00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:33,379 - WELL, YOU'RE NOT BLEEDING. 239 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,480 DOES IT HURT? 240 00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:35,481 - NOT TOO BAD. 241 00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,122 JUST GIVE A GUY SOME WARNING. 242 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:38,717 - I YELLED "CATCH." 243 00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:39,949 - THAT COULD MEAN ANYTHING. 244 00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,319 - I GIVE UP. 245 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:46,663 MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST ADMIT BASEBALL'S NOT FOR YOU. 246 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,500 I MEAN, THERE'S OTHER SPORTS. 247 00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:50,995 WE COULD ALWAYS WATCH... 248 00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:52,268 SOCCER. 249 00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:57,403 - WHAT ARE THESE? 250 00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:58,674 - BASEBALL CARDS. 251 00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:01,412 THEY FEATURE THE PLAYERS OF A SPORT YOU HATE. 252 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,308 - NO, THE NUMBERS ON THE BACK. 253 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:04,410 - OH, STATS. 254 00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:06,781 YOU KNOW, HITS, RBIs, HOME RUNS. 255 00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,420 - AND THERE'S NUMBERS FOR EVERY PLAYER? 256 00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:10,445 HOW FAR BACK DOES THIS DATA GO? 257 00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:11,450 - I DON'T KNOW. 258 00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:12,791 100 YEARS, MAYBE MORE. 259 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:13,786 - WHOA! 260 00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:14,917 YOU'RE TELLING ME 261 00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:17,262 THERE'S OVER A CENTURY OF HARD DATA 262 00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:20,357 ON A CLOSED SYSTEM WITH MINIMIZED VARIABLES? 263 00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:24,769 - THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M TELLING YOU, WENDELL! 264 00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:26,095 THERE'S WHOLE LEAGUES 265 00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,269 WHERE YOU JUST WATCH NUMBERS CHANGE ON A COMPUTER 266 00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:29,538 AND DON'T EVEN SEE THE GAME. 267 00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:30,766 - OH, MY GOSH. 268 00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:31,771 [panting] 269 00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:32,842 I HAVE TO SIT DOWN. 270 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,240 - YEAH! 271 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,442 I'M SUCH A FOOL! 272 00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:37,953 I'VE BEEN TRYING TO MAKE BASEBALL FUN 273 00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:40,675 WHEN I SHOULD HAVE BEEN MAKING IT HOMEWORK! 274 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,481 - MY SPIRALS! MY MECHANICAL PENCILS! 275 00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:43,482 BRING THEM TO ME! 276 00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:44,423 - YEAH! 277 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,163 - AND THAT IS WHY 278 00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:53,788 I WILL ALWAYS BE PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED 279 00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:55,664 TO MY EX-WIFE. 280 00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,130 - I'M GLAD THAT YOU TRUST ME ENOUGH 281 00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:02,272 TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST WITH ME. 282 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,639 - THAT'S SO REFRESHING. 283 00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:05,807 YOU KNOW, WOMEN CAN BE SO JUDGE-Y. 284 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:06,806 EVEN THE... 285 00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:08,807 YOU KNOW-- BOOM! 286 00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,409 [laughs] AM I RIGHT? 287 00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,310 - [feigns laughter] OH, MY GOD. 288 00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,922 SO RIGHT. 289 00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:15,845 [grunts] 290 00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:21,089 - WENDELL, COME ON OUT. THE GAME'S ALMOST ON! 291 00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:22,088 - COMING! 292 00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:23,319 - THIS MUST BE NICE FOR YOU. 293 00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:24,693 YOU'RE LIVING YOUR DREAM. 294 00:10:24,692 --> 00:10:25,932 - I AM. 295 00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:27,486 WENDELL AND I ARE ABOUT TO WATCH A DODGER GAME, 296 00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:28,534 HAVE PIZZA. 297 00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:29,658 YOU KNOW, I WAS THIS CLOSE 298 00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:31,163 TO HAVING TO WATCH SOCCER 299 00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:34,634 AND EAT SOME KIND OF BELGIAN...FISH CAKE. 300 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,944 - IF YOU ORDERED A PIZZA, WHY ARE YOU EATING A HOT DOG? 301 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:37,937 - PIZZA'S LUNCH. 302 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,308 THIS IS A BREAKFAST DOG. 303 00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:42,106 THAT'S WHY THERE'S SYRUP ON THERE. 304 00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:43,139 DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT. 305 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,213 - LIKE WHAT? 306 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,511 - LIKE I'M A SERIAL KILLER OR A... 307 00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:48,282 YANKEES FAN. 308 00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:49,351 - FINISH YOUR BREAKFAST. 309 00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:51,279 IT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT DOG OF THE DAY. 310 00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:52,594 - WENDELL, GET OUT HERE! 311 00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:56,085 LIL WAYNE'S ABOUT TO SING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM! 312 00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:01,289 - OH, MY GOD. 313 00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:04,134 LOOK AT YOU! YOU'RE A LITTLE YANKEE! 314 00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:07,173 [gasps] 315 00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:16,744 - SORRY. 316 00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:17,644 HABIT. 317 00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,151 - I DON'T GET IT. 318 00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:27,052 WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL ABOUT BEING A YANKEES FAN? 319 00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:28,794 THEY'RE THE BEST TEAM IN BASEBALL HISTORY. 320 00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,389 I CAN SHOW YOU THE NUMBERS. 321 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:31,830 - 'CAUSE THEY GET THE BEST PLAYERS. 322 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,785 GAH! I CAN'T LOOK AT THAT UNIFORM. 323 00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,564 FOR GOD'S SAKE, COVER YOURSELF. 324 00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:39,528 - YOU KNOW, VINNIE, 325 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,772 YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT YOU WANTED WENDELL TO BE A DODGER FAN. 326 00:11:41,769 --> 00:11:43,239 YOU SAID A BASEBALL FAN. 327 00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,636 - IT JUST SEEMS LIKE IF YOU'RE A FAN, 328 00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:45,637 YOU WANT YOUR TEAM TO WIN. 329 00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:47,138 AND THESE GUYS WIN A LOT, RIGHT? 330 00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:49,980 - BUT OUR WHOLE FAMILY HAS ALWAYS BEEN DODGER FANS. 331 00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:51,337 - HE'S YOUR NEPHEW. 332 00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:53,384 AND YOU NEED TO LOVE HIM NO MATTER WHAT TEAM HE'S FOR. 333 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:54,510 - OH, COME ON. 334 00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:55,554 IT'S NOT LIKE HE WAS BORN THIS WAY. 335 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,318 THIS IS A CHOICE! 336 00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:59,317 - YOU HAD TO SEE THIS COMING. 337 00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:01,289 HE'S BEEN A NUMBER CRUNCHER FOR YEARS. 338 00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:04,288 - YEAH, I'VE GOT A POSTER OF GOTTFRIED LEIBNIZ IN MY ROOM. 339 00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:05,791 - WHO THE HELL IS THAT? 340 00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:07,693 - HE INVENTED CALCULUS. 341 00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:09,834 - I THOUGHT THAT WAS A PICTURE OF SHAKESPEARE. 342 00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:10,860 - OH, SURE. 343 00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:12,204 'CAUSE EVERYONE IN A POWDERED WIG 344 00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:14,499 LOOKS THE SAME TO YOU. 345 00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,501 - I GOT ROGER, DEAK, AND MONGO COMING OVER 346 00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:18,173 TO WATCH THE YANKEE DODGER GAME TOMORROW. 347 00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,841 THESE GUYS ARE MY FRIENDS. 348 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,340 SO IF YOU WANT TO YANKEE IT UP 349 00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:23,011 IN YOUR ROOM DURING THAT, GO AHEAD. 350 00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:26,810 JUST DON'T PARADE AROUND HERE SHOVING IT IN EVERYBODY'S FACE. 351 00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:28,654 - YOU ARE SO CLOSE-MINDED, UNCLE VINNIE. 352 00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,018 - OH, IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES TO YOU, 353 00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:31,347 BUT I'M THE ONE WHO HAS TO EXPLAIN THIS 354 00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:32,451 TO YOUR GRANDFATHER! 355 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:37,519 - SO NOW THAT THIS IS OUR THIRD DATE, 356 00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:40,694 WE'VE TALKED, WE'VE SHARED, WE'VE APPETIZED. 357 00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:44,463 I THINK IT'S TIME FOR US TO GET REAL. 358 00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:45,704 - SWEET. 359 00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:47,028 I CAN STOP SUCKING IN MY GUT. 360 00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:48,704 [sighs] WHOO. 361 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:55,211 I'M NOT SCARED TO BE MYSELF AROUND YOU. 362 00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:56,708 YOU'RE SO NICE, 363 00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:59,109 SO ACCEPTING, SO-- 364 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,612 - I'M GONNA STOP YOU RIGHT THERE, RAY. 365 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,954 SEE, I FEEL LIKE THAT I'VE PRESENTED A SIDE OF MYSELF THAT, 366 00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:06,622 WHILE IS USUALLY APPEALING, 367 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:10,089 MAY NOT BE THE FULL STORY OF WILMA. 368 00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,560 - WELL, I'M SURE WHATEVER IT IS-- 369 00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:13,558 - STILL TALKING, RAY. 370 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:16,730 SINCE IT'S OUR THIRD DATE, I'D LIKE YOU TO STEP IT UP TOO. 371 00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:19,229 YOU KNOW, BRING YOUR "A" GAME, ALL RIGHT? 372 00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:20,732 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE A--YOU'RE A... 373 00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:21,903 FINE LOOKING MAN. 374 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:24,042 YOU OWN A CHAIN OF TIRE STORES. 375 00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:27,337 - ACTUALLY, IT'S A CHAIN OF TIRE CHAIN STORES. 376 00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,880 BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE MAKE THAT MISTAKE. 377 00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:31,076 - [tutting] THAT'S NOT THE POINT. 378 00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:33,248 I NEED TO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, RIGHT? 379 00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:35,576 OKAY, AND I NEED YOU TO-- I NEED YOU TO TELL ME A JOKE. 380 00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,422 JUST ONE GOOD ONE. 381 00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,087 OKAY, THIS IS OUR THIRD DATE. 382 00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:42,756 I PROMISE I WILL MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE. 383 00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:43,915 - [sighs] OH. 384 00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:44,934 OKAY, READY. 385 00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,725 IT'S CRUNCH TIME. 386 00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:48,897 OKAY. 387 00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:50,426 THERE'S THIS GUY WHO THINKS HE'S A MOTH. 388 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,700 - OH, OKAY, GREAT. 389 00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:53,728 OKAY, THE MOTH INFORMATION CAME OUT A TAD EARLY. 390 00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:54,903 BUT, NO, YOU'RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK. 391 00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:56,142 LET'S GO. GO GET 'EM. GO, GO. 392 00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:58,936 - SO HE GOES TO HIS DENTIST ON THE SECOND FLOOR 393 00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:00,609 OF THIS LITTLE PROFESSIONAL BUILDING. 394 00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,807 IT'S LIKE BY A BANK AND A PHARMACY. 395 00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:03,909 - [groans] 396 00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:05,681 GONNA GET BOGGED DOWN IN THE DETAILS. 397 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:08,918 - OH, THE DENTIST SAYS, "YOU THINK YOU'RE A MOTH? 398 00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:10,016 "WELL, THAT'S CRAZY. 399 00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:13,787 OBVIOUSLY, YOU'RE A PERSON." 400 00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:15,286 - CLEARLY NOT THE PUNCH LINE. 401 00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:16,658 WHAT DID HE SAY NEXT? 402 00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:18,686 - SO HE SAYS TO HIM, "YOU DON'T NEED A DENTIST. 403 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:19,961 YOU NEED A SHRINK OR SOMETHING." 404 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,290 - BRING IT HOME, RAY. 405 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:24,134 - OKAY, HE SAYS TO HIM, "WHY DID YOU COME HERE?" 406 00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:25,631 AND HE SAYS, 407 00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:27,802 "I SAW THE SIGN." 408 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,700 [laughing] 409 00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,949 - THE LIGHT WAS ON. 410 00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:41,948 - WHAT? 411 00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:42,949 - HE DIDN'T SEE THE SIGN. 412 00:14:42,950 --> 00:14:45,320 THERE WAS NO SIGN, RAY. 413 00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,488 THE MOTH MAN WENT IN 414 00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:50,487 'CAUSE THE LIGHT WAS ON. 415 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:51,790 - I THINK THAT'S WHAT I JUST SAID. 416 00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:53,261 - THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID. 417 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:54,460 THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID. THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID. 418 00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:55,801 YOU SAID HE SAW THE SIGN. 419 00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:57,655 YOU SAID HE SAW THE SIGN, WHICH MAKES NO SENSE, RAY. 420 00:14:57,664 --> 00:14:58,804 ZERO, OKAY? 421 00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:02,738 THE MAN WENT IN BECAUSE HE SAW THE LIGHT WAS ON. 422 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:05,735 THE MAN THOUGHT HE WAS A MOTH! 423 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:08,808 SO HE FOLLOWED THE LIGHT! 424 00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:10,778 - OH. 425 00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:13,977 - MY 13-YEAR-OLD NEPHEW NAILED THAT JOKE! 426 00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:16,221 AND NOW YOU'VE RUINED IT FOR ME! 427 00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,886 SIT THERE AND FEEL BAD! 428 00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:29,695 - KNOCK, KNOCK? 429 00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:30,626 splash! 430 00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:39,169 - [hoarsely] OH, VINNIE, 431 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:42,382 THIS PINEAPPLE JALAPENO IS MELTING MY THROAT. 432 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:43,375 - [grunts] 433 00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,376 IT BURNS ALL THE WAY DOWN. 434 00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:46,708 I KIND OF WANT TO VOMIT, 435 00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:49,853 BUT THEN IT WOULD BURN ALL THE WAY BACK UP. 436 00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:51,749 - ROGER, CHUG THAT HOT SAUCE. 437 00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,051 - NO. 438 00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:54,193 - DO IT. 439 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:57,557 - OKAY. 440 00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:59,227 [screams] WHOO! 441 00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:01,556 WHY IS THE HOT SAUCE SO HOT? 442 00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,801 - [laughing] IT SAYS "HOT" RIGHT ON IT. 443 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,266 [TV announcer chatters indistinctly] 444 00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:06,265 - OOH! 445 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:07,296 LONG FLY BALL. 446 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,840 - CATCH IT. CATCH IT! 447 00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,036 all: YEAH! 448 00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:12,408 - WHOO! - YES! 449 00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,065 - ROGER, CELEBRATION HOT SAUCE. 450 00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:15,914 - OH, NO, NOT THIS TIME. 451 00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:16,908 - DO IT. 452 00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:19,749 - OKAY. 453 00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:21,246 [screams] 454 00:16:21,248 --> 00:16:22,518 [gasps] 455 00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:25,385 I LOVE YOU GUYS. 456 00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:26,415 - HELLO, 457 00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:27,419 DEAK, 458 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:28,420 ROGER, 459 00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:29,661 MONGO. 460 00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:33,689 [sighs] VINCENT. 461 00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:37,602 - THIS SOME SORT OF SICK JOKE? 462 00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:40,267 - WE AGREED YOU WERE GONNA WATCH THE GAME IN YOUR ROOM. 463 00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:41,797 - WELL, IT'S AFTER THE SEVENTH INNING. 464 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:43,601 I THOUGHT YOU DODGER FANS WOULD BE GONE BY NOW. 465 00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:44,603 BEAT THE TRAFFIC. 466 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:45,714 BURN! 467 00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:51,109 - VINNIE, ARE YOU GONNA LET HIM SAY THAT 468 00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:54,351 IN FRONT OF JACKIE ROBINSON'S CLEAT SCRAPER? 469 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:55,377 - JUST IGNORE HIM, GUYS. 470 00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:56,882 HE'S GOING THROUGH A PHASE. 471 00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:58,123 - "SO WHO'S WINNING?" 472 00:16:58,118 --> 00:17:00,118 HE ASKED, KNOWING THE YANKEES ARE UP BY ONE. 473 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,450 [thumps chest] YANKEES! 474 00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:06,093 - BEING A RUN DOWN DOESN'T BOTHER US. 475 00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:07,193 - WELL, IT SHOULD. 476 00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:08,804 WHEN TRAILING AFTER THE SEVENTH INNING, 477 00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,695 THE DODGERS HAVE LOST EVERY TIME. 478 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,127 BUT WHAT ARE STATISTICS? 479 00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:14,132 OH, YEAH, ONLY THE MOST ACCURATE METHOD 480 00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:15,604 OF ASSESSING PROBABILITY. 481 00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:17,572 THIRD-DEGREE BURN. 482 00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:20,111 - HEY, NUMBERS, 483 00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:22,477 WE GOT SOMETHING BETTER THAN STATISTICS. 484 00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:25,645 GENTLEMEN, RALLY CAPS. 485 00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:27,645 - OH, NO! RALLY CAPS. 486 00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:29,917 HOW CAN OUR SUPERIOR HITTING, PITCHING, AND FIELDING 487 00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:32,246 EVER COMPETE WITH YOUR BLACK MAGIC? 488 00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:33,522 - OKAY, WE GET IT. 489 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:34,820 - HELLO, YANKEE DUGOUT? 490 00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:35,861 JUST GIVE UP. 491 00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:37,615 THEY'RE WEARING THEIR HATS ASKEW. 492 00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,234 - ENOUGH. 493 00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:41,026 - IF I WANTED TO SIT ON A COUCH AND BE RIDICULED, 494 00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:43,127 I WOULD HAVE STAYED AT MY MAMA'S HOUSE. 495 00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,500 - YEAH, WHAT IS IT WITH THIS KID? 496 00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,127 IT'S NOT JUST THAT HE'S ROOTING FOR THE YANKEES. 497 00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:47,903 HE'S BECOME A YANKEE FAN. 498 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,170 - YEAH, LOOK, I'M SORRY, GUYS. 499 00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:50,799 AND HE'S NEVER BEEN TO NEW YORK. 500 00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:52,003 - YOU CALL THIS PIZZA? 501 00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:54,014 THE ONLY REAL PIZZA COMES FROM NYC, 502 00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:56,806 THE BIG APPLE, THE 212, BABY. 503 00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:58,249 - WENDELL. 504 00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:59,675 ANGELINO PIES? 505 00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,909 THIS IS OUR FAVORITE PIZZA IN THE WORLD. 506 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,024 - [scoffs] 507 00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:04,245 YOU SHOW UP WITH THIS PIE IN BROOKLYN, 508 00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:06,621 FORGET ABOUT IT. 509 00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:09,519 - OKAY, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS WITHOUT BEING OFFENSIVE, 510 00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:12,062 BUT YOUR ROOMMATE'S A TOTAL "D" BAG. 511 00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:14,028 - THEN YOU REAL HOUSEWIVES OF JERSEY 512 00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:15,356 CAN GO BACK TO HOBOKEN. 513 00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:16,302 HA! 514 00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,671 CALL ME THE SUN, 515 00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:21,526 'CAUSE Y'ALL JUST GOT... 516 00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:22,874 WELL, YOU KNOW. 517 00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:24,899 - SCHOOLED? 518 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:27,844 - VINNIE, WE CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. 519 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,880 - SEND HIM BACK TO HIS ROOM RIGHT NOW OR WE'RE OUT OF HERE. 520 00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:32,707 - YOU'RE RIGHT. 521 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:33,882 BEAT IT. - FINE, BUT I'M-- 522 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,580 - NOT YOU. THEM. 523 00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:37,983 - WHAT? - COME ON. 524 00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:39,554 - HE'S A YANKEE FAN LIVING IN A DODGER'S HOUSE. 525 00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:41,022 IT'S JUST WRONG. 526 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:42,220 - OKAY, YES. 527 00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:44,222 YES, YOU'RE RIGHT. 528 00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:48,404 WENDELL IS DIFFERENT THAN THE REST OF US. 529 00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:50,725 WE MIGHT FIND HIS CHOICES... 530 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:53,400 DISGUSTING, 531 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,240 BUT IT'S HIS LIFE. 532 00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:57,395 IF HE WANTS TO STRUT DOWN BROADWAY 533 00:18:57,404 --> 00:19:00,574 AS GRAND MARSHALL OF THE YANKEE PARADE, 534 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:04,483 HE CAN FOR ALL I CARE, BECAUSE I SUPPORT HIM. 535 00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,977 AND I'LL FIGHT ANYBODY WHO DARES MOCK HIM. 536 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,079 SO... 537 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,288 - NO. 538 00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:19,859 [all groaning] 539 00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,529 - TIME TO GO, FELLAS. 540 00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:41,477 - WHY'D YOU DO THAT? 541 00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:45,021 - WENDELL, I'M A DODGERS FAN. 542 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,847 YOUR DAD WAS A DODGERS FAN. 543 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:50,523 YOUR AUNT WILMA'S A CRAZED RABID DODGERS FREAK. 544 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,263 BUT... 545 00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:53,859 YOU'RE MY BOY 546 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,700 AND IF YOU WANT TO BE A YANKEES FAN, 547 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:56,925 EVEN THOUGH IT FEELS LIKE 548 00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:59,529 YOU'RE CARVING MY HEART OUT WITH A SPOON, 549 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:02,372 I'LL BACK YOU UP 100%. 550 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:04,369 - THAT'S WHY YOU TOOK MY SIDE OVER YOUR FRIENDS' 551 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:07,011 EVEN THOUGH I WAS KIND OF BEING A DUMB BAG? 552 00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:08,276 - A WHAT? 553 00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:09,375 - YOUR FRIEND MONGO. 554 00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,106 I ASSUMED HE MEANT DUMB BAG. 555 00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:14,150 - THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE MEANT. 556 00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:15,816 AND, YES, I GOT YOUR BACK. 557 00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:16,815 - THANKS, UNCLE VINNIE. 558 00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:18,746 - HEY, FORGET ABOUT IT. 559 00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,920 [TV announcer chattering indistinctly] 560 00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:30,655 - YEAH. VOILA! 561 00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,333 DESSERT DOG. 562 00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:33,672 MMM. 563 00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:34,926 MMM. 564 00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:37,004 [moans] 565 00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,673 - YOU KNOW WHAT? NOT BAD. 566 00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:39,671 - YEAH. 567 00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:42,712 - THAT'S A NICE ITEM. 568 00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,609 - HEY, GUYS, WHAT'S GOING ON? 569 00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:48,049 WHAT ARE YOU TWO WEARING? 570 00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:49,977 - MOTHER OF MERCY. 571 00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,422 - IS THAT A YANKEES UNIFORM? 572 00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:54,649 COME HERE FOR A SECOND, WENDELL. - DON'T GO! 573 00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:56,264 - NO, I'M NOT GONNA HURT HIM. I JUST WANT TO SEE SOME-- 574 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,455 - RUN, WENDELL! - [shrieks] 575 00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:59,127 [all screaming indistinctly] 576 00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:00,285 - I WANT TO SEE SOMETHING! 577 00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:02,463 I WANT TO SEE SOMETHING! 38805

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