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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,977 --> 00:00:11,547 - YES. YUP. 2 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,175 [cartoony video game noises] YES! 3 00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:14,281 [laughing] 4 00:00:14,282 --> 00:00:16,752 YEAH! 5 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,950 YEAH, I KILLED THE GRIM REAPER! 6 00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:20,422 TALK ABOUT YOUR IRONY, HUH? 7 00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:21,921 - ARE YOU BUSY? 8 00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:24,092 [electronic whirring] 9 00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:31,331 - NO. 10 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:33,533 WHAT'S UP, WENDELL? 11 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:34,874 - NOTHING. 12 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,438 - YOU MADE ME STOP HILLBILLY APOCALYPSE 13 00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:37,637 FOR NOTHING? 14 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:40,308 I JUST GOT MY MULLET TO LEVEL THREE. 15 00:00:40,308 --> 00:00:42,208 - I'M BORED. 16 00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:44,110 - WELL, HAVE YOU DONE YOUR HOMEWORK? 17 00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:46,612 - MINE AND JEREMY'S. - WHO? 18 00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:47,954 - THE FICTIONAL STUDENT I CREATED 19 00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:49,878 TO GET MORE HOMEWORK. 20 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,823 - WELL, IF YOU'RE BORED, LET'S CALL SOME FRIENDS. 21 00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:53,619 - WELL, I'M STILL KIND OF THE NEW KID AT SCHOOL. 22 00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:55,161 I'M NOT SURE WHY I HAVEN'T HAD MUCH LUCK 23 00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:56,316 LANDING NEW CHUMS. 24 00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:59,494 - I HAVE SOME IDEA WHY. 25 00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:00,833 - BUT IT'S OKAY. 26 00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:02,128 I'VE BEEN SPENDING A LOT OF TIME 27 00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:04,670 WORKING WITH THE ASTRONOMICAL SOCIETY AT SCHOOL. 28 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,495 - A CLUB. THAT'S PERFECT. 29 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:07,740 CAN'T YOU MAKE FRIENDS THERE? 30 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:09,295 - WELL, THERE AREN'T A LOT OF MEMBERS YET 31 00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:10,703 'CAUSE THE GUY WHO STARTED THE CLUB 32 00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:12,814 MADE THE TEST TO GET IN PRETTY DIFFICULT. 33 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:14,336 - AND WHO WOULD THAT BE? 34 00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:16,742 - HELLO. 35 00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:18,184 - THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING WE CAN DO 36 00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:19,449 TO HELP YOU MAKE SOME FRIENDS. 37 00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:21,147 - WELL, I CAN TELL YOU WHAT WE SHOULDN'T DO, 38 00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:22,949 WHICH IS TYPE OUT A LIST OF ALL MY GOOD QUALITIES 39 00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:26,490 AND HAND THEM OUT WITH CARROT STICKS AT LUNCH. 40 00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:27,817 - HEY, HOW ABOUT THIS? 41 00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,861 WHY DON'T YOU INVITE SOME KIDS OVER FOR A SLEEPOVER? 42 00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:31,757 - WELL, HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER 43 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:32,989 IF EVERYONE'S SLEEPING? 44 00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:35,163 - THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF IT. NOBODY SLEEPS. 45 00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:36,563 YOU JUST STAY UP ALL NIGHT 46 00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:38,674 PLAYING VIDEO GAMES, GOOFING AROUND-- 47 00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:41,066 - WHAT, YOU DON'T THINK THAT'S AN ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN? 48 00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:44,538 YOUNG PEOPLE'S POOR JUDGMENT PLUS SLEEP DEPRIVATION? 49 00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:47,878 THAT'S JUST A POWDER KEG. 50 00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,535 - YOU KNOW WHAT? 51 00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:52,083 YOU'RE FUN. 52 00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:54,479 I KNOW IT'S SCARY, BUT TRUST ME. 53 00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:55,882 THIS IS A GOOD WAY TO MEET SOME KIDS, 54 00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:57,053 AND ONCE THEY GET TO KNOW YOU, 55 00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:58,750 I'M SURE THEY'RE GONNA LIKE YOU A LOT. 56 00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,522 - YOU REALLY THINK SO? - I DO. 57 00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,191 NOW, HERE'S WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO. 58 00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:04,460 MAKE A LIST OF LOTS OF COOL, EXCITING ACTIVITIES 59 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,758 FOR YOUR PARTY, OKAY? 60 00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,259 - OKAY. 61 00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,331 - NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I GOT TO GET BACK TO MY GAME. 62 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,200 I ALMOST HAVE ENOUGH POINTS TO MARRY MY COUSIN. 63 00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:12,729 WHOO-HOO! 64 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:15,743 [quirky brass music] 65 00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:16,736 * 66 00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,737 - * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD 67 00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:20,539 - * NEVER FELT SO GOOD 68 00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:22,681 - * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD 69 00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:25,446 - * NEVER FELT SO GOOD 70 00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,376 - * SO WAIT A MINUTE 71 00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:28,381 * HEY 72 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,822 * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD 73 00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:37,363 - WE GOT EVERYTHING ON THE LIST FOR WENDELL'S SLEEPOVER 74 00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:38,688 EXCEPT ONE THING I COULDN'T READ, 75 00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:41,702 SO I GOT SOME VODKA. 76 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:42,825 - "THANKS, WILMA," 77 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:46,230 HE SAID IGNORING HER DESPERATE CRY FOR HELP. 78 00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:48,344 - SO ARE WE INVITING TO THIS PARTY? 79 00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:49,496 - I DON'T KNOW. 80 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,043 I'M JUST SCANNING THE CLASS ROSTER NOW 81 00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:52,108 FOR LIKELY CANDIDATES. 82 00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:54,235 RANDAL POTTS. 83 00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:57,412 IT'S A GOOD CHANCE HE'S NOT DOING ANYTHING SATURDAY NIGHT. 84 00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,751 - YOU'RE GOING ABOUT THIS ALL WRONG. 85 00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:00,977 YOU HAVE TO INVITE KIDS 86 00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:04,291 WHO HAVE DIVORCED DADS WITH DISPOSABLE INCOME. 87 00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:06,245 - AND HOW DOES THAT HELP WENDELL? 88 00:03:06,254 --> 00:03:08,624 - WENDELL. RIGHT. RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. 89 00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,062 - WELL, LET ME JUST DO SOME WORK HERE. 90 00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:12,357 ALL RIGHT, JOSH COREY. 91 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,530 EW. AN APARTMENT? NO, THANKS. 92 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,728 KYLE MICHAELS. HAPPY INTACT FAMILY. 93 00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,000 SEE YOU, LOSER. 94 00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:20,599 MARCO KRAMER. 95 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:23,401 OKAY, FATHER, ALLAN, C.E.O. OF KRAMER INDUSTRIES, 96 00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:24,674 NEWLY DIVORCED, 97 00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:27,282 AND BEING INVESTIGATED FOR OFFSHORE ACCOUNTS? 98 00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:31,475 WHAT? WE HAVE OUR FIRST GUEST. 99 00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:33,009 - HEY, GUYS. - HEY, TAR. 100 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,183 - YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE GOT? 101 00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:36,781 - YOUTH? HOPE? A CLOSET FULL OF TANK TOPS? 102 00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:41,117 - A MENU OF ALL THE TREATS I'M GONNA BE MAKING 103 00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:42,461 FOR WENDELL'S PARTY. 104 00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:45,656 BUT MOST OF ALL, I HAVE A BIG HUG FOR YOU, VINNIE. 105 00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:48,059 - OH! 106 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,761 - AREN'T YOU CURIOUS WHY I'M HUGGING YOU? 107 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:53,703 - SHH. TALKING RUINS IT. 108 00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,841 - IF YOU HADN'T ASKED ME TO MAKE ALL THESE PARTY TREATS, 109 00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:57,966 I NEVER WOULD HAVE COME UP WITH MY NEW BUSINESS IDEA. 110 00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,071 READY? 111 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:04,312 TARYN'S HEALTHCHUNKULOUS ORGANISNACKS. 112 00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:05,312 - I'M SORRY. WHAT? 113 00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:08,823 I FELL ASLEEP AFTER "READY?" 114 00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:10,816 - I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR A NEW DIRECTION IN MY LIFE 115 00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:12,818 SINCE THE DIVORCE, AND CATERING JUST MIGHT BE IT. 116 00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:13,920 - DID YOU COOK A LOT IN HOUSTON? 117 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:17,861 - NO, NO ONE LET ME COOK IN HOUSTON. 118 00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,058 BUT SATURDAY NIGHT I'LL BE ABLE 119 00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,329 TO TRY OUT ALL MY RECIPES ON REAL KIDS. 120 00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:23,329 I WENT OUT YESTERDAY AND GOT THIS. 121 00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:24,901 - OKAY. 122 00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,328 - KNOW WHAT IT'S FOR? 123 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:28,944 - TO LIGHT YOURSELF ON FIRE WHEN YOUR BUSINESS FAILS? 124 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:31,236 - THIS BABY IS FOR ROASTING TOFU MALLOWS. 125 00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:33,738 PEOPLE DON'T THINK SNACKS CAN BE DELICIOUS AND HEALTHY. 126 00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:37,181 - PEOPLE ARE HORRIBLE. 127 00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:39,647 - VINNIE, IT MEANS AN AWFUL LOT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN ME. 128 00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:40,647 - I DO. 129 00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:43,418 [both mouthing words] 130 00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,517 - HEY, GUYS. - HEY, WENDELL. 131 00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,419 CLEAR YOUR HEAD, AND GO WITH YOUR GUT. 132 00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:48,591 LENTILS OR MUNG BEANS? 133 00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:52,759 - MUNG BEANS. THEY TASTE LIKE LOVE. 134 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,100 - WENDELL, DO YOU KNOW A GUY NAMED HARRISON LAMBERT? 135 00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:58,165 PARENTS ARE SEPARATED. THEY OWN A CONDO IN ASPEN. 136 00:04:58,165 --> 00:05:00,825 - HE STABBED ME IN THE NECK WITH A PENCIL ONCE. 137 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,074 - OOF. WELL, GOOD NEWS. 138 00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:04,669 HE'S COMING OVER ON SATURDAY. 139 00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:06,612 - VINNIE, DID YOU PICK UP THAT JUNIOR PLANETARIUM 140 00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:07,677 I WANTED FOR THE PARTY? 141 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,775 - OH, NO! OH! 142 00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:12,047 IT SLIPPED MY MIND! 143 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:13,775 NOW THERE'S NO TIME TO GO GET ONE. 144 00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:15,121 UGH! 145 00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:17,645 BUT YOU GOT ONE! 146 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,551 WENDELL SAVES THE DAY! 147 00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,119 - THIS BAD BOY PROJECTS A STAR MAP 148 00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:24,793 OF THE NORTHERN HEMISPHERE ON THE CEILING 149 00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:26,292 SO YOU GET TO SLEEP UNDER THE STARS. 150 00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:28,063 I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SLEEP UNDER THE STARS. 151 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,061 IT'S CLASSICALLY ROMANTIC. 152 00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,433 - I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GETTING 153 00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:34,102 WHAT A BOY SLEEPOVER'S ALL ABOUT. 154 00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:35,771 - DON'T WORRY, UNCLE VINNIE. 155 00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,939 I'M GONNA MAKE SURE EVERYONE HAS A GOOD TIME. 156 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:40,768 WE'RE GOING TO PLAY NAME THAT MONARCH. 157 00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:46,184 - OKAY, WELL, IN THE INTEREST OF OPEN DISCUSSION, 158 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,479 CAN I MAKE ONE HELPFUL SUGGESTION? 159 00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:51,082 KIDS DON'T CARE ABOUT MUNG BEANS OR MONARCHS. 160 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,994 - PERHAPS YOU'RE RIGHT, BUT MUST WE PANDER 161 00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:54,716 TO THE LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR? 162 00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:55,822 - YES. 163 00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:56,823 KIDS-- 164 00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:58,134 LISTEN, KIDS WANT CRANK CALLS 165 00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:00,855 AND ZOMBIE MOVIES AND REAL SUGAR 166 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,231 AND FAKE CHEESE! 167 00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:04,700 PLEASE LISTEN TO ME. 168 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,098 I KNOW WHAT 12-YEAR-OLD BOYS LIKE, 169 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,739 'CAUSE I'VE BEEN ONE FOR 20 YEARS! 170 00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:12,811 - ALL RIGHT. I HEAR YOU. 171 00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:13,806 - THANK YOU. 172 00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:16,507 - I'LL TELL TARYN LENTILS. 173 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,780 [quirky brass music] 174 00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:22,348 WHY AREN'T THEY HERE YET? IT'S 5:01. 175 00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:24,219 - 'CAUSE IT'S COOL TO BE A LITTLE LATE. 176 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,487 SEE, WHEN YOU'RE COOL, 177 00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:27,956 YOU KNOW THE PARTY STARTS WHEN YOU GET THERE. 178 00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:30,185 YOU'RE KIND OF NONCHALANT, KIND OF LAID BACK. 179 00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,190 YOU GET IT? 180 00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,791 - 100%. - YEAH. 181 00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:34,263 [doorbell rings] - OH, THEY'RE HERE! 182 00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,031 THEY'RE HERE! THEY'RE HERE! - JUST LIKE THAT. 183 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,797 - HI, HARRISON. 184 00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:43,742 - WENDELL BASSETT? 185 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,037 WHY AM I HERE? 186 00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:46,908 CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY I'M HERE? 187 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:51,577 - HARRISON, WHERE'S YOUR DADDY, RICHARD QUINCY LAMBERT? 188 00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:54,009 IS HE--IS HE PERHAPS PURSUING ONE OF HIS HOBBIES 189 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:58,954 OF PARASAILING OR MUAY THAI? 190 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:03,362 POR FAVOR, DONDE ESTA DE PADRE DE HARRISON? 191 00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:07,626 - YEAH, LIKE HE TELLS ME HIS PLANS? 192 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,258 [sighs] DON'T CALL ME. 193 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,862 I WON'T COME. 194 00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:11,974 - YOU'RE FIRED. 195 00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:15,095 - AND YOU ARE THE DEVIL! 196 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,742 - HI, DAVID. HI, DANIEL. 197 00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:19,768 - WENDELL BASSETT? - YOU'RE KIDDING ME. 198 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,143 - UGH. I KNOW, RIGHT? 199 00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,681 - GUYS, GUYS, WHERE ARE YOUR DADS? 200 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:30,051 - HI. I'M ALLAN KRAMER. 201 00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,620 THIS IS MARCO. - OH, GREAT. 202 00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,119 - THERE YOU ARE. 203 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:37,790 OH, MY GOSH. IT HAS BEEN FOREVER. 204 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,531 - [stammering] I DON'T KNOW YOU. 205 00:07:39,527 --> 00:07:40,987 - YEAH. 206 00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:42,804 IT'S GOT TO HAVE BEEN, LIKE, FROM HIGH SCHOOL. 207 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,226 THAT'S THAT LONG AGO. 208 00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:45,631 - I THINK YOU HAVE THE WRONG PERSON. 209 00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:46,673 I WENT TO... 210 00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:47,767 both: EAST PROVIDENCE HIGH. 211 00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:48,968 - YEAH. YEAH. GO TOWNIES. 212 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,339 WHOO! LET'S GO GET A DRINK. 213 00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:53,708 WE HAVE HOURS OF STUFF TO CATCH UP ON! 214 00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:56,537 - HOURS? 215 00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:58,254 - HEY, IS THAT SPIDER-MAN'S GLOVE? 216 00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,245 - OH, COOL! - NO WAY! 217 00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:02,147 - IT'S MY UNCLE'S. HE COLLECTS THINGS. 218 00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:05,019 - OH, MY UNCLE'S A HOARDER TOO. 219 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,548 - UH, I'M NOT REALLY A-- 220 00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:08,594 - WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO GO OVER THERE ANYMORE. 221 00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:12,564 - OH, HEY, TAR. 222 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,800 CAN YOU PLEASE SERVE THE-- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? 223 00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,555 - SOY CHEESE KALE CHIPS. 224 00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:19,004 - SOY CHEESE KALE CHIPS? 225 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,099 I HAVE A NEW NAME FOR THEM. 226 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,801 "THE PARTY SAVERS." 227 00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,674 GO MAKE MORE. 228 00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,213 - GOT YOU. - ALL RIGHT. 229 00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:28,337 - OKAY. [chuckles] 230 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:36,350 - SO RUNNING INTO SOMEBODY FROM RHODE ISLAND HERE, 231 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:39,019 IT'S CRAZY. 232 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,219 - I KNOW. 233 00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,620 IT'S LIKE SOMETHING BROUGHT US TOGETHER. 234 00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:45,293 - I GOT TRANSFERRED. - FATE. 235 00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:46,592 WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THAT PLACE 236 00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,404 ALL THE KIDS WOULD GO ON FRIDAY NIGHTS? 237 00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:49,755 - OH, AFTER THE FOOTBALL GAME. 238 00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:52,603 - YEAH, IT WAS ACROSS THE STREET FROM THAT QUAINT LITTLE... 239 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,370 - SLAUGHTERHOUSE. - YEAH. 240 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,607 AND IT HAD THE BEST, UM... 241 00:08:57,605 --> 00:09:00,305 [stammering] 242 00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:01,637 - MM-HMM? 243 00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:08,654 PIZZA. THEY HAD PIZZA. 244 00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,049 - OH, THEY HAD SUCH GOOD PIZZA! 245 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,220 THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT. 246 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,948 OH, YEAH. 247 00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,323 AND WHAT WAS THE NAME OF IT? 248 00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:17,521 IT WAS A NAME, A NAME OF SOMEBODY. 249 00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:18,634 - THE PIT STOP. 250 00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:21,286 - THE PIT STOP. RIGHT. 251 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,504 HOW IS MR. STOP? 252 00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:28,796 - GENTLEMEN, CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE? 253 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,840 GENTLEMEN? 254 00:09:31,839 --> 00:09:33,639 GENTLEMEN? 255 00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:36,511 - [blowing vuvuzela] 256 00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:54,660 NEVER HAD A LESSON! 257 00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:55,702 BOYS, TAKE A SEAT. 258 00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:57,126 WENDELL, TELL THEM ALL THE FUN STUFF 259 00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,470 WE'RE ABOUT TO DO. 260 00:09:58,465 --> 00:09:59,665 - SURE. 261 00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,197 NOW, IF YOU'LL ALL LOOK UNDER YOUR SEAT, 262 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:02,971 YOU'LL EACH FIND YOUR OWN PARTY SURVIVAL KIT. 263 00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:03,970 - * OH, YEAH 264 00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,071 * A PARTY SURVIVAL KIT 265 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,073 * WHOO 266 00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:10,484 * LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED * 267 00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:13,307 - ON THE TOP YOU WILL FIND YOUR EMERGENCY CONTACT FORMS. 268 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,123 - * EMERGENCY CONTACT FORM 269 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,045 * CAN I GET A WHAT, WHAT? 270 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:20,120 WAIT. WHAT? 271 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,590 - PLEASE FILL THEM OUT WHILE I EXPLAIN 272 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,588 THE DANGERS YOU MIGHT ENCOUNTER AT THIS PARTY. 273 00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,390 - OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 274 00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:29,432 - I THINK WE SHOULD BEGIN WITH THE VERY REAL POSSIBILITY OF 275 00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:30,659 DEATH BY FIRE. 276 00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:32,734 - OH, MY GOSH. - ARE YOU SERIOUS? 277 00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,973 - SO STUPID. - WHAT? 278 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,338 - DON'T FORGET, SMOKE RISES, 279 00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,406 SO IT'S IMPORTANT THAT YOU CROUCH AND CRAWL. 280 00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:40,665 STAY LOW AND GO. THAT'S OUR MOTTO. 281 00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:42,014 NOW, I'D LIKE TO HIGHLIGHT 282 00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:43,909 ALL THE POSSIBLE EXITS FROM THIS APARTMENT. 283 00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:44,981 - [clears throat] 284 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,408 WENDELL, AT THIS POINT IN THE PARTY, 285 00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:48,153 I DON'T THINK THAT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA. 286 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,248 CAN I HAVE A MOMENT? COME ON. 287 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:53,750 - WHY IS THERE SO MUCH PAPERWORK AT THIS PARTY? 288 00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:57,094 - WHO'D YOU PUT FOR NEXT OF KIN? 289 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,930 - WHAT I'M SAYING IS, THIS PARTY NEEDS TO BE FUN. 290 00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:00,886 YOUR FUTURE POPULARITY AT SCHOOL IS ON THE LINE, 291 00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:03,164 SO LIGHTEN UP. 292 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,733 - DON'T WORRY, UNCLE VINNIE. EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE JAKE. 293 00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:07,743 - REMEMBER OUR RULE? 294 00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:10,495 both: ONLY USE SLANG FROM THE 21ST CENTURY. 295 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:11,743 - YEAH, I KNOW. 296 00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:14,469 - REMEMBER, BE UPBEAT! [laughs]. 297 00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:15,484 - OKAY. - YEAH! 298 00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:16,575 - RIGHT. 299 00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:18,046 HEY, GUYS, YOU READY TO HAVE SOME FUN? 300 00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:19,445 all: YEAH! 301 00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:21,976 - WHO KNOWS WHAT A TRACHEOTOMY IS? 302 00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:23,452 - WHAT? - [groans] 303 00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:29,564 [quirky brass music] 304 00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:31,456 [phone keyboards clacking] 305 00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:33,928 - IS THERE AN EMOTICON FOR "WORST PARTY EVER"? 306 00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:38,467 - JUST PUT DOWN "WPE." 307 00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:40,565 - WENDELL, YOU'RE LOSING THEM. 308 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:42,897 THE GOOD NEWS IS, YOU'RE TRENDING. 309 00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:44,543 - I HAVE TO ENGAGE THEM SOMEHOW. 310 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:47,137 - WELL, I REALLY THINK IT MIGHT BE A GOOD TIME FOR HALO. 311 00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:48,640 - I'VE GOT SOMETHING BETTER THAN HALO. 312 00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:49,681 - ALL RIGHT. 313 00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:51,136 - OKAY, GUYS, THIS IS A LEARNING GAME. 314 00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:53,254 - ALREADY NOT BETTER THAN HALO. 315 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,676 - OKAY, THESE STICKERS HAVE THE NAMES 316 00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:57,482 OF FAMOUS SCIENTISTS ON THEM. 317 00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:58,794 I'LL GO FIRST. 318 00:11:58,786 --> 00:12:01,416 THEN WE ASK EACH OTHER QUESTIONS TO FIND OUT WHO WE ARE. 319 00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:05,631 NOW, TELL ME ABOUT MYSELF. 320 00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:06,955 - YOUR NAME IS RICHARD FEYNMAN. 321 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,400 CAN WE BE DONE NOW? 322 00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:12,297 - REMEMBER KATHY? 323 00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:13,929 - NO, THERE WAS NO KATHY AT OUR SCHOOL. 324 00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:18,074 - YEAH, I KNOW. HOW WEIRD IS THAT, RIGHT? 325 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,411 UM, WHAT ABOUT OUR FRENCH TEACHER? 326 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:23,077 MONSIEUR-- - MADAME LEISNER? 327 00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:26,206 - NOT AFTER THE OPERATION. 328 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:30,676 - OUI, OUI. 329 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,158 - OKAY, SO YOU DON'T KNOW SCIENTISTS. 330 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,260 FINE. 331 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:42,701 I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO DUMB IT DOWN, 332 00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:46,425 BUT I GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO GO WITH CELEBRITY VERSION. 333 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:51,073 OKAY, NOW, WITHOUT SAYING THE NAME... 334 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,710 WHO AM I? 335 00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:00,851 - YOU'RE MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF. 336 00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:04,218 - I'M NICOLAS SARKOZY? 337 00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:07,217 - PLEASE, THERESA. COME PICK ME UP. 338 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,060 THIS PARTY SUCKS. 339 00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:10,986 - OKAY, IT'S OFFICIAL. 340 00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:13,091 THEY HATE THIS PARTY, AND MAYBE THEY EVEN HATE ME. 341 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:14,863 - NO, THEY DON'T. I GOT THIS. 342 00:13:14,862 --> 00:13:16,732 - I WAS KIDDING. YOU'RE NOT FIRED. 343 00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:18,569 - HEY, THERESA. NO, EVERYTHING'S GREAT. 344 00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,725 HARRISON'S A DELIGHT, BUT I DON'T NEED TO TELL YOU THAT. 345 00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:23,043 SEE YOU TOMORROW. I'LL HANG ON TO THIS. 346 00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:24,966 - HEY, GUYS, WHO'S UP FOR ALMOST ICE CREAM? 347 00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:26,072 - THANK GOD. [all cheering] 348 00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:27,673 YEAH, ICE CREAM, EVERYBODY! [laughs] 349 00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:31,244 - SWEET! - YUMMY! 350 00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:33,054 [groans] 351 00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:34,206 TARYN, THIS ISN'T ICE CREAM. 352 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:36,884 - CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? 353 00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:38,624 - THIS IS HORRIBLE. I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD. 354 00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:40,348 [all shout] - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! 355 00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:41,753 NOT IN THAT! NOT IN THAT! 356 00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:43,364 - SERIOUSLY? IT SAYS, "BARF BUCKET." 357 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,526 - YEAH, IT'S A COLLECTIBLE FROM THE SET OF BRIDESMAIDS. 358 00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:46,955 TARYN, HELP ME. THE BATHROOM. 359 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,560 - OH. OH. 360 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:52,031 - OKAY, YOU CAN'T BELIEVE HOW LAME WENDELL BASSETT'S PARTY IS. 361 00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:53,732 - DID I SAY LAME? I MEANT AWESOME. 362 00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:56,673 THEY'RE GIVING US ALL IPAD MINIS. 363 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:57,739 - SERIOUSLY, DUDE. 364 00:13:57,737 --> 00:13:59,267 I'M ABOUT TO POST IT ON FACEBOOK. 365 00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:00,572 PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY THROWING UP. 366 00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,813 - BRO, HOW MANY OF THESE THINGS DO YOU HAVE? 367 00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:04,639 NO, NO, NO. I'LL KEEP THIS. 368 00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:06,314 I'LL KEEP THAT. - COME ON, GIVE ME MY PHONE! 369 00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:07,683 - [speaks gibberish mockingly] 370 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,820 - OKAY, GIVE US OUR PHONES, OR WE'RE OUT OF HERE. 371 00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:12,386 - GUYS, WAIT. 372 00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:13,385 THIS PARTY IS YOUR CHANCE 373 00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:14,916 TO GET TO KNOW ME A LITTLE BETTER. 374 00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,187 - YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TAKE OUR PHONES. 375 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,562 - GIVE ME MY PHONE! GIVE IT TO ME! 376 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,500 - I WANT TO GO HOME! WE DON'T EVEN HAVE TO STAY HERE. 377 00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:23,655 - YEAH, LET'S GO HOME. - YEAH. 378 00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:26,673 all: GO HOME! GO HOME! GO HOME! 379 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,966 - WE DON'T HAVE TO STAY HERE. - YEAH, I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE. 380 00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,599 - COME ON, GUYS. - LET'S GO. 381 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:33,073 - [shouting] 382 00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:34,073 JUST BACK, ALL OF YOU, 383 00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:36,744 OR THESE GO RIGHT IN THE TOILET! 384 00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,513 - I DON'T THINK HE'S BLUFFING. - DUDE, DON'T. 385 00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:39,781 I HAVEN'T SYNCED IN TWO WEEKS. 386 00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:41,949 - JUST GET BACK INTO THE LIVING ROOM, 387 00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:43,719 AND SETTLE DOWN. 388 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,486 I'M WATCHING YOU. 389 00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:47,956 OKAY? 390 00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:49,955 OKAY. 391 00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:51,687 - UNCLE VINNIE, WAIT. 392 00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,291 IF THESE GUYS WANT TO GO, JUST LET THEM GO. 393 00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:54,433 I'LL BE OKAY. 394 00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:55,857 I HAVE A STACK OF UNREAD NEW YORKERS, 395 00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:57,332 LIKE, THIS HIGH. 396 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,370 - NO, NO. I CAN FIX THIS. 397 00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:02,066 YOU'LL SEE! THEY'LL ALL SEE! 398 00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,469 - I'M STARTING TO THINK 399 00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:07,771 THAT YOU DIDN'T EVEN GO TO MY SCHOOL. 400 00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:08,984 - YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT. 401 00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:11,736 I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE. 402 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:15,854 I WENT TO THE GIRL'S SCHOOL ACROSS TOWN. 403 00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:17,678 - OUR LADY OF PERPETUAL SORROW? 404 00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:20,454 - YES. YES. GO SORROW. 405 00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:21,993 - WHA-- 406 00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:24,119 [stammering] WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME? 407 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:26,594 - WELL, IT'S EMBARRASSING. 408 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,033 I WANTED TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH YOU, 409 00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:30,128 AND I THOUGHT THE ONLY WAY I COULD DO THAT 410 00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:32,700 WAS TO TELL YOU THAT WE WENT TO THE SAME SCHOOL. 411 00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,310 - NOW THAT YOU TOLD THE TRUTH, 412 00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:41,136 DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER? 413 00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:44,411 - I'LL SAY. 414 00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:48,121 YOU KNOW, I REMEMBER THE GIRLS AT PERPETUAL SORROW. 415 00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:49,815 YOU STILL GOT YOUR UNIFORM? 416 00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:51,776 - WE COULD CHECK MY CLOSET. - LET'S DO THAT. 417 00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:55,616 - OKAY, GUYS. YEAH. 418 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,192 SOME CRAP FOR YOU. [boys cheering] 419 00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:58,790 CRAP FOR YOU. 420 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:02,031 YEAH, IT'S RAINING CRAP! IT'S A CRAP STORM! 421 00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:03,359 WHOO-HOO-HOO! 422 00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:07,203 - VINNIE, YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE THEM SICK. 423 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,170 OKAY, POINT TAKEN. NO WORRIES. 424 00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:12,040 I'M GONNA GO MAKE THE THE RICE CAKES 425 00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:13,839 AND TOFU MALLOW S'MORES. 426 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,680 YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL THEM S'MORES, DON'T YOU? 427 00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:18,945 BECAUSE AFTER YOU EAT ONE, YOU WANT ANOTHER ONE. 428 00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:21,945 - I AM ALONE. 429 00:16:21,948 --> 00:16:23,548 ALL RIGHT. NEW PLAN, EVERYBODY. 430 00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:24,920 THE OLD PLAN WAS JUST A FAKE-OUT. 431 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,347 [laughs] FOOLED YOU! 432 00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:29,323 ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE FOR YOU GUYS? 433 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,792 I HAVE, UH... 434 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:33,831 I HAVE SUPER FOAM BLASTERS! 435 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,396 - SUPER FOAM BLASTERS? - FOAM BLASTERS? 436 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:36,555 - THAT'S AWESOME! - AWESOME! 437 00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:38,573 - I'M A DIABETIC. 438 00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:40,225 - YES! 439 00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:42,143 RARE, MINT-CONDITION, WOULD MAKE ME A FORTUNE, 440 00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:44,195 BUT WHAT THE HELL, LET'S RIP THEM OPEN FOAM BLASTERS! 441 00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:45,514 all: YEAH! 442 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,135 - WAIT, UNCLE VINNIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 443 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:48,710 - YEAH, HERE'S A NEUTRON BURST. 444 00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:50,138 - SWEET. - ALL RIGHT. 445 00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:52,683 VIOLATOR ANNIHILATOR FOR YOU. - AW! 446 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,209 - THE MIGHTY BOSS BOW. 447 00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,124 AND FOR YOU, MAMA'S LITTLE HELPER. 448 00:16:57,784 --> 00:16:58,794 - UNCLE VINNIE, PLEASE. 449 00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:00,685 NO GUNS. I'M A PACIFIST. 450 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,187 SHOULD I SACRIFICE MY TRUE SELF, 451 00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:03,789 THE CORE OF WHO I AM 452 00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:06,230 JUST TO BE POPULAR WITH A BUNCH OF 12-YEAR-OLDS? 453 00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,656 - LOOK, I'M NOT ASKING YOU TO CHANGE. 454 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,460 I'M JUST ASKING YOU TO LOOSEN UP. 455 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:12,772 NOW, I'M GONNA HAND YOU THIS MARSHMALLOW ASSASSIN. 456 00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:16,235 WHAT'S YOUR FUN, CRAZY SIDE TELLING YOU TO DO? 457 00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:19,336 - INCREASE OUR LIABILITY INSURANCE? 458 00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:20,339 [dart whistles] 459 00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:26,151 - LET'S DO THIS. 460 00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:27,706 I DECLARE WAR! 461 00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,184 [all shouting] 462 00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:30,882 [darts whistling] 463 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,123 - [screams] 464 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:34,389 - COME ON, WENDELL! EVERYBODY'S HAVING FUN! 465 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,657 - YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS FUN? 466 00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:37,615 UNSCRATCHED CORNEAS! 467 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:39,925 [boys shouting] 468 00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:41,486 - [grunts] 469 00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:42,804 YOU MAY TAKE MY FREEDOM, 470 00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:45,165 BUT YOU'LL NEVER TAKE MY LEATHER SLEEPER SOFA 471 00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:47,225 THAT I'M RENTING TO OWN! 472 00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:49,404 - GET HIM! 473 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:52,342 [all shouting] 474 00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:53,339 - STOP! 475 00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:54,370 I BROUGHT SAFETY GOGGLES! 476 00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,344 JUST STOP BEFORE YOU PUT YOUR EYES OUT! 477 00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:58,383 - OH, COME ON, WENDELL, STOP THINKING ABOUT SAFETY, 478 00:17:58,378 --> 00:17:59,578 AND THINK ABOUT FUN! 479 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,149 - WHY ARE YOU MAKING THOSE TWO THINGS 480 00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:04,678 MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE? 481 00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,394 - DANG IT. 482 00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,456 - [sniffs] YOU SMELL THAT? 483 00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:09,555 - WASN'T ME. 484 00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,286 - NO. I SMELL SMOKE. 485 00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:16,795 [fire alarm beeping] 486 00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:17,826 - [coughs] FIRE! 487 00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:19,170 GUYS, THERE'S A REAL FIRE IN HERE! 488 00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:20,396 - FIRE? - THE KITCHEN'S ON FIRE! 489 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,170 IT'S RUINING ALL THE FOOD I COOKED! 490 00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:24,039 - NO, IT ISN'T. 491 00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:26,006 - FIRE! A FIRE! A REAL FIRE! 492 00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:27,005 - WHAT DO WE DO? 493 00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:28,536 - WAIT. WE KNOW WHAT TO DO. 494 00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:29,741 - I DON'T! I DON'T! 495 00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,282 I WASN'T LISTENING! 496 00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,908 WHY DON'T I EVER LISTEN? 497 00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:35,353 - SOMEONE CALL 911. 498 00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:38,048 - I CAN DO THAT! I'VE GOT 18 PHONES! 499 00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:41,050 - THIS IS NOT A DRILL, PEOPLE! LET'S REMEMBER OUR TRAINING! 500 00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:43,193 THAT'S IT. HERE WE GO. 501 00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:46,990 GET GOING. GO, GO, GO, GO, GO! 502 00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:50,103 [all coughing] 503 00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:51,396 - WE'RE ON THE FIFTH FLOOR. 504 00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:52,768 WAIT, MY BARF BUCKET! 505 00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:54,065 - FORGET ABOUT IT, UNCLE VINNIE! 506 00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:57,496 IT'S GONE! LET'S GO! 507 00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:59,214 [quirky brass music] 508 00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:00,706 - WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND IS HOW THE FOOD 509 00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,437 IN MR. BASSETT'S APARTMENT GOT BURNED. 510 00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:05,452 - THAT'S THE WAY SHE SERVED IT. 511 00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:06,675 - BYE, WENDELL. YOU WERE GREAT. 512 00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,219 I'LL CALL YOU. 513 00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:10,545 - GREAT PARTY. CALL YOU TOMORROW. 514 00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:12,050 - THEY'RE GONNA CALL ME TOMORROW. 515 00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:14,591 - I HEARD. 516 00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,687 - BYE, WENDELL. YOU WERE PRETTY BRAVE. 517 00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,489 - WELL, I WAS SCARED JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. 518 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:19,791 - DIDN'T SEEM LIKE IT. 519 00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:23,002 GOOD JOB. 520 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,055 - HE PUNCHED ME! 521 00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:26,233 - YOU ARE IN, MAN! 522 00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:28,073 - SO DO I PUNCH HIM BACK, OR DO I KICK HIM, OR WHAT? 523 00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:30,237 - NO, NO, NO, YOU'RE GOOD. 524 00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:32,137 - SO WHO CARES IF I'M NOT A CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRL? 525 00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:34,768 I'M STILL FILLED WITH SHAME. 526 00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:36,814 - HEY, MARCO, YOU OKAY? 527 00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:38,249 - IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. 528 00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:42,245 THERE WAS A FIRE. I PUKED IN SOME GUY'S SHOES. 529 00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:43,519 - PUKE IN MY SHOES. 530 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,686 TRUE SIGN OF A GREAT PARTY! 531 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:48,316 - I'M HERE FOR DAVID. 532 00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:49,321 - FRANK? 533 00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:51,862 FRANK FROM ANNAPOLIS HIGH SCHOOL? 534 00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:53,758 [scoffs] - I'M SORRY? 535 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,560 - IT'S ME, KATHY! 536 00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:58,162 GO PANTHERS! 537 00:19:58,164 --> 00:20:00,834 - YOUR LEG GREW BACK. 538 00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:04,203 - I KNOW. ISN'T SCIENCE AMAZING? 539 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,973 NOW, I GOT A LITTLE INDONESIAN... 540 00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:10,678 - WENDELL, I PROMISED YOU A SLEEPOVER, 541 00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:12,207 AND THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET. 542 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,311 - THANKS, UNCLE VINNIE. 543 00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:15,083 I'M GLAD IT ALL WORKED OUT, 544 00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:16,781 EXCEPT FOR THE FOOD. 545 00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:19,393 - HEY. 546 00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:20,846 - SO, IN YOUR MIND, VOMITING CHILDREN 547 00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:23,163 AND A BURNED-DOWN APARTMENT IS A SUCCESS? 548 00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:24,915 - FINE. 549 00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:26,594 - HEY, WENDELL. HERE'S THE BEST PART. 550 00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,503 [chimes jingling] 551 00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:29,725 HUH? 552 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,699 YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO SLEEP UNDER THE STARS, RIGHT? 553 00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:33,428 - THAT'S PRETTY COOL. 554 00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:36,603 - WOW. - YEAH. 555 00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:38,873 - YOU REALIZE, OF COURSE, THAT IT'S ALL BACKWARDS, RIGHT? 556 00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:41,041 - OH, MY GOD. HOW CAN YOU EVEN TELL? 38553

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