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1
00:00:09,977 --> 00:00:11,547
- YES.
YUP.
2
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,175
[cartoony video game noises]
YES!
3
00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:14,281
[laughing]
4
00:00:14,282 --> 00:00:16,752
YEAH!
5
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,950
YEAH, I KILLED
THE GRIM REAPER!
6
00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:20,422
TALK ABOUT YOUR IRONY, HUH?
7
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:21,921
- ARE YOU BUSY?
8
00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:24,092
[electronic whirring]
9
00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:31,331
- NO.
10
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:33,533
WHAT'S UP, WENDELL?
11
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:34,874
- NOTHING.
12
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,438
- YOU MADE ME STOP
HILLBILLY APOCALYPSE
13
00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:37,637
FOR NOTHING?
14
00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:40,308
I JUST GOT MY MULLET
TO LEVEL THREE.
15
00:00:40,308 --> 00:00:42,208
- I'M BORED.
16
00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:44,110
- WELL, HAVE YOU DONE
YOUR HOMEWORK?
17
00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:46,612
- MINE AND JEREMY'S.
- WHO?
18
00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:47,954
- THE FICTIONAL STUDENT
I CREATED
19
00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:49,878
TO GET MORE HOMEWORK.
20
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,823
- WELL, IF YOU'RE BORED,
LET'S CALL SOME FRIENDS.
21
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:53,619
- WELL, I'M STILL KIND OF
THE NEW KID AT SCHOOL.
22
00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:55,161
I'M NOT SURE WHY
I HAVEN'T HAD MUCH LUCK
23
00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:56,316
LANDING NEW CHUMS.
24
00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:59,494
- I HAVE SOME IDEA WHY.
25
00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:00,833
- BUT IT'S OKAY.
26
00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:02,128
I'VE BEEN SPENDING
A LOT OF TIME
27
00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:04,670
WORKING WITH THE
ASTRONOMICAL SOCIETY AT SCHOOL.
28
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,495
- A CLUB.
THAT'S PERFECT.
29
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:07,740
CAN'T YOU MAKE FRIENDS THERE?
30
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:09,295
- WELL, THERE AREN'T
A LOT OF MEMBERS YET
31
00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:10,703
'CAUSE THE GUY
WHO STARTED THE CLUB
32
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:12,814
MADE THE TEST TO GET IN
PRETTY DIFFICULT.
33
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:14,336
- AND WHO WOULD THAT BE?
34
00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:16,742
- HELLO.
35
00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:18,184
- THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING
WE CAN DO
36
00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:19,449
TO HELP YOU MAKE SOME FRIENDS.
37
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:21,147
- WELL, I CAN TELL YOU
WHAT WE SHOULDN'T DO,
38
00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:22,949
WHICH IS TYPE OUT A LIST
OF ALL MY GOOD QUALITIES
39
00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:26,490
AND HAND THEM OUT
WITH CARROT STICKS AT LUNCH.
40
00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:27,817
- HEY, HOW ABOUT THIS?
41
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,861
WHY DON'T YOU INVITE
SOME KIDS OVER FOR A SLEEPOVER?
42
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:31,757
- WELL, HOW ARE WE GOING
TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER
43
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:32,989
IF EVERYONE'S SLEEPING?
44
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:35,163
- THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF IT.
NOBODY SLEEPS.
45
00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:36,563
YOU JUST STAY UP ALL NIGHT
46
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:38,674
PLAYING VIDEO GAMES,
GOOFING AROUND--
47
00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:41,066
- WHAT, YOU DON'T THINK THAT'S
AN ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN?
48
00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:44,538
YOUNG PEOPLE'S POOR JUDGMENT
PLUS SLEEP DEPRIVATION?
49
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:47,878
THAT'S JUST A POWDER KEG.
50
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,535
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
51
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:52,083
YOU'RE FUN.
52
00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:54,479
I KNOW IT'S SCARY,
BUT TRUST ME.
53
00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:55,882
THIS IS A GOOD WAY
TO MEET SOME KIDS,
54
00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:57,053
AND ONCE THEY GET TO KNOW YOU,
55
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:58,750
I'M SURE THEY'RE GONNA
LIKE YOU A LOT.
56
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,522
- YOU REALLY THINK SO?
- I DO.
57
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,191
NOW, HERE'S WHAT
I WANT YOU TO DO.
58
00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:04,460
MAKE A LIST OF LOTS OF COOL,
EXCITING ACTIVITIES
59
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,758
FOR YOUR PARTY, OKAY?
60
00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,259
- OKAY.
61
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,331
- NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I GOT TO GET BACK TO MY GAME.
62
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,200
I ALMOST HAVE ENOUGH POINTS
TO MARRY MY COUSIN.
63
00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:12,729
WHOO-HOO!
64
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:15,743
[quirky brass music]
65
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:16,736
*
66
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,737
- * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
67
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:20,539
- * NEVER FELT SO GOOD
68
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:22,681
- * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
69
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:25,446
- * NEVER FELT SO GOOD
70
00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,376
- * SO WAIT A MINUTE
71
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:28,381
* HEY
72
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,822
* I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
73
00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:37,363
- WE GOT EVERYTHING ON THE LIST
FOR WENDELL'S SLEEPOVER
74
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:38,688
EXCEPT ONE THING
I COULDN'T READ,
75
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:41,702
SO I GOT SOME VODKA.
76
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:42,825
- "THANKS, WILMA,"
77
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:46,230
HE SAID IGNORING
HER DESPERATE CRY FOR HELP.
78
00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:48,344
- SO ARE WE INVITING
TO THIS PARTY?
79
00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:49,496
- I DON'T KNOW.
80
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,043
I'M JUST SCANNING
THE CLASS ROSTER NOW
81
00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:52,108
FOR LIKELY CANDIDATES.
82
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:54,235
RANDAL POTTS.
83
00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:57,412
IT'S A GOOD CHANCE HE'S NOT
DOING ANYTHING SATURDAY NIGHT.
84
00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,751
- YOU'RE GOING ABOUT THIS
ALL WRONG.
85
00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:00,977
YOU HAVE TO INVITE KIDS
86
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:04,291
WHO HAVE DIVORCED DADS
WITH DISPOSABLE INCOME.
87
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:06,245
- AND HOW DOES THAT
HELP WENDELL?
88
00:03:06,254 --> 00:03:08,624
- WENDELL. RIGHT.
RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.
89
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,062
- WELL, LET ME JUST DO
SOME WORK HERE.
90
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:12,357
ALL RIGHT, JOSH COREY.
91
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,530
EW. AN APARTMENT?
NO, THANKS.
92
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,728
KYLE MICHAELS.
HAPPY INTACT FAMILY.
93
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,000
SEE YOU, LOSER.
94
00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:20,599
MARCO KRAMER.
95
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:23,401
OKAY, FATHER, ALLAN,
C.E.O. OF KRAMER INDUSTRIES,
96
00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:24,674
NEWLY DIVORCED,
97
00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:27,282
AND BEING INVESTIGATED
FOR OFFSHORE ACCOUNTS?
98
00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:31,475
WHAT?
WE HAVE OUR FIRST GUEST.
99
00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:33,009
- HEY, GUYS.
- HEY, TAR.
100
00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,183
- YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE GOT?
101
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:36,781
- YOUTH? HOPE?
A CLOSET FULL OF TANK TOPS?
102
00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:41,117
- A MENU OF ALL THE TREATS
I'M GONNA BE MAKING
103
00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:42,461
FOR WENDELL'S PARTY.
104
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:45,656
BUT MOST OF ALL, I HAVE
A BIG HUG FOR YOU, VINNIE.
105
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:48,059
- OH!
106
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,761
- AREN'T YOU CURIOUS
WHY I'M HUGGING YOU?
107
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:53,703
- SHH.
TALKING RUINS IT.
108
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,841
- IF YOU HADN'T ASKED ME
TO MAKE ALL THESE PARTY TREATS,
109
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:57,966
I NEVER WOULD HAVE COME UP
WITH MY NEW BUSINESS IDEA.
110
00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,071
READY?
111
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:04,312
TARYN'S HEALTHCHUNKULOUS
ORGANISNACKS.
112
00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:05,312
- I'M SORRY.
WHAT?
113
00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:08,823
I FELL ASLEEP AFTER "READY?"
114
00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:10,816
- I'VE BEEN SEARCHING
FOR A NEW DIRECTION IN MY LIFE
115
00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:12,818
SINCE THE DIVORCE,
AND CATERING JUST MIGHT BE IT.
116
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:13,920
- DID YOU COOK A LOT IN HOUSTON?
117
00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:17,861
- NO, NO ONE
LET ME COOK IN HOUSTON.
118
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,058
BUT SATURDAY NIGHT I'LL BE ABLE
119
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,329
TO TRY OUT ALL MY RECIPES
ON REAL KIDS.
120
00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:23,329
I WENT OUT YESTERDAY
AND GOT THIS.
121
00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:24,901
- OKAY.
122
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,328
- KNOW WHAT IT'S FOR?
123
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:28,944
- TO LIGHT YOURSELF ON FIRE
WHEN YOUR BUSINESS FAILS?
124
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:31,236
- THIS BABY IS FOR ROASTING
TOFU MALLOWS.
125
00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:33,738
PEOPLE DON'T THINK SNACKS
CAN BE DELICIOUS AND HEALTHY.
126
00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:37,181
- PEOPLE ARE HORRIBLE.
127
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:39,647
- VINNIE, IT MEANS AN AWFUL LOT
THAT YOU BELIEVE IN ME.
128
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:40,647
- I DO.
129
00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:43,418
[both mouthing words]
130
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,517
- HEY, GUYS.
- HEY, WENDELL.
131
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,419
CLEAR YOUR HEAD,
AND GO WITH YOUR GUT.
132
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:48,591
LENTILS OR MUNG BEANS?
133
00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:52,759
- MUNG BEANS.
THEY TASTE LIKE LOVE.
134
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,100
- WENDELL, DO YOU KNOW A GUY
NAMED HARRISON LAMBERT?
135
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:58,165
PARENTS ARE SEPARATED.
THEY OWN A CONDO IN ASPEN.
136
00:04:58,165 --> 00:05:00,825
- HE STABBED ME IN THE NECK
WITH A PENCIL ONCE.
137
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,074
- OOF.
WELL, GOOD NEWS.
138
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:04,669
HE'S COMING OVER ON SATURDAY.
139
00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:06,612
- VINNIE, DID YOU PICK UP
THAT JUNIOR PLANETARIUM
140
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:07,677
I WANTED FOR THE PARTY?
141
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,775
- OH, NO!
OH!
142
00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:12,047
IT SLIPPED MY MIND!
143
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:13,775
NOW THERE'S NO TIME
TO GO GET ONE.
144
00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:15,121
UGH!
145
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:17,645
BUT YOU GOT ONE!
146
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,551
WENDELL SAVES THE DAY!
147
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,119
- THIS BAD BOY
PROJECTS A STAR MAP
148
00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:24,793
OF THE NORTHERN HEMISPHERE
ON THE CEILING
149
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:26,292
SO YOU GET TO SLEEP
UNDER THE STARS.
150
00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:28,063
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO SLEEP UNDER THE STARS.
151
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,061
IT'S CLASSICALLY ROMANTIC.
152
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,433
- I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GETTING
153
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:34,102
WHAT A BOY SLEEPOVER'S
ALL ABOUT.
154
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:35,771
- DON'T WORRY, UNCLE VINNIE.
155
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,939
I'M GONNA MAKE SURE
EVERYONE HAS A GOOD TIME.
156
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:40,768
WE'RE GOING TO PLAY
NAME THAT MONARCH.
157
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:46,184
- OKAY, WELL, IN THE INTEREST
OF OPEN DISCUSSION,
158
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,479
CAN I MAKE ONE
HELPFUL SUGGESTION?
159
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:51,082
KIDS DON'T CARE
ABOUT MUNG BEANS OR MONARCHS.
160
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,994
- PERHAPS YOU'RE RIGHT,
BUT MUST WE PANDER
161
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:54,716
TO THE LOWEST
COMMON DENOMINATOR?
162
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:55,822
- YES.
163
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:56,823
KIDS--
164
00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:58,134
LISTEN, KIDS WANT CRANK CALLS
165
00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:00,855
AND ZOMBIE MOVIES
AND REAL SUGAR
166
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,231
AND FAKE CHEESE!
167
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:04,700
PLEASE LISTEN TO ME.
168
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,098
I KNOW
WHAT 12-YEAR-OLD BOYS LIKE,
169
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,739
'CAUSE I'VE BEEN ONE
FOR 20 YEARS!
170
00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:12,811
- ALL RIGHT.
I HEAR YOU.
171
00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:13,806
- THANK YOU.
172
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:16,507
- I'LL TELL TARYN LENTILS.
173
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,780
[quirky brass music]
174
00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:22,348
WHY AREN'T THEY HERE YET?
IT'S 5:01.
175
00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:24,219
- 'CAUSE IT'S COOL
TO BE A LITTLE LATE.
176
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,487
SEE, WHEN YOU'RE COOL,
177
00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:27,956
YOU KNOW THE PARTY STARTS
WHEN YOU GET THERE.
178
00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:30,185
YOU'RE KIND OF NONCHALANT,
KIND OF LAID BACK.
179
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,190
YOU GET IT?
180
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,791
- 100%.
- YEAH.
181
00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:34,263
[doorbell rings]
- OH, THEY'RE HERE!
182
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,031
THEY'RE HERE! THEY'RE HERE!
- JUST LIKE THAT.
183
00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,797
- HI, HARRISON.
184
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:43,742
- WENDELL BASSETT?
185
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,037
WHY AM I HERE?
186
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:46,908
CAN SOMEONE TELL ME
WHY I'M HERE?
187
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:51,577
- HARRISON, WHERE'S YOUR DADDY,
RICHARD QUINCY LAMBERT?
188
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:54,009
IS HE--IS HE PERHAPS
PURSUING ONE OF HIS HOBBIES
189
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:58,954
OF PARASAILING
OR MUAY THAI?
190
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:03,362
POR FAVOR, DONDE ESTA
DE PADRE DE HARRISON?
191
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:07,626
- YEAH, LIKE HE TELLS ME
HIS PLANS?
192
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,258
[sighs]
DON'T CALL ME.
193
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,862
I WON'T COME.
194
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:11,974
- YOU'RE FIRED.
195
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:15,095
- AND YOU ARE THE DEVIL!
196
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,742
- HI, DAVID.
HI, DANIEL.
197
00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:19,768
- WENDELL BASSETT?
- YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
198
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,143
- UGH.
I KNOW, RIGHT?
199
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,681
- GUYS, GUYS,
WHERE ARE YOUR DADS?
200
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:30,051
- HI.
I'M ALLAN KRAMER.
201
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,620
THIS IS MARCO.
- OH, GREAT.
202
00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,119
- THERE YOU ARE.
203
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:37,790
OH, MY GOSH.
IT HAS BEEN FOREVER.
204
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,531
- [stammering]
I DON'T KNOW YOU.
205
00:07:39,527 --> 00:07:40,987
- YEAH.
206
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:42,804
IT'S GOT TO HAVE BEEN, LIKE,
FROM HIGH SCHOOL.
207
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,226
THAT'S THAT LONG AGO.
208
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:45,631
- I THINK YOU HAVE
THE WRONG PERSON.
209
00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:46,673
I WENT TO...
210
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:47,767
both: EAST PROVIDENCE HIGH.
211
00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:48,968
- YEAH. YEAH.
GO TOWNIES.
212
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,339
WHOO!
LET'S GO GET A DRINK.
213
00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:53,708
WE HAVE HOURS OF STUFF
TO CATCH UP ON!
214
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:56,537
- HOURS?
215
00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:58,254
- HEY, IS THAT
SPIDER-MAN'S GLOVE?
216
00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,245
- OH, COOL!
- NO WAY!
217
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:02,147
- IT'S MY UNCLE'S.
HE COLLECTS THINGS.
218
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:05,019
- OH, MY UNCLE'S
A HOARDER TOO.
219
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,548
- UH, I'M NOT REALLY A--
220
00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:08,594
- WE'RE NOT ALLOWED
TO GO OVER THERE ANYMORE.
221
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:12,564
- OH, HEY, TAR.
222
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,800
CAN YOU PLEASE SERVE THE--
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
223
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,555
- SOY CHEESE KALE CHIPS.
224
00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:19,004
- SOY CHEESE KALE CHIPS?
225
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,099
I HAVE A NEW NAME FOR THEM.
226
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,801
"THE PARTY SAVERS."
227
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,674
GO MAKE MORE.
228
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,213
- GOT YOU.
- ALL RIGHT.
229
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:28,337
- OKAY.
[chuckles]
230
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:36,350
- SO RUNNING INTO SOMEBODY
FROM RHODE ISLAND HERE,
231
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:39,019
IT'S CRAZY.
232
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,219
- I KNOW.
233
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,620
IT'S LIKE SOMETHING
BROUGHT US TOGETHER.
234
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:45,293
- I GOT TRANSFERRED.
- FATE.
235
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:46,592
WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THAT PLACE
236
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,404
ALL THE KIDS WOULD GO
ON FRIDAY NIGHTS?
237
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:49,755
- OH, AFTER THE FOOTBALL GAME.
238
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:52,603
- YEAH, IT WAS ACROSS THE STREET
FROM THAT QUAINT LITTLE...
239
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,370
- SLAUGHTERHOUSE.
- YEAH.
240
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,607
AND IT HAD THE BEST, UM...
241
00:08:57,605 --> 00:09:00,305
[stammering]
242
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:01,637
- MM-HMM?
243
00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:08,654
PIZZA.
THEY HAD PIZZA.
244
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,049
- OH, THEY HAD SUCH GOOD PIZZA!
245
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,220
THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT'S RIGHT.
246
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,948
OH, YEAH.
247
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,323
AND WHAT WAS THE NAME OF IT?
248
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:17,521
IT WAS A NAME,
A NAME OF SOMEBODY.
249
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:18,634
- THE PIT STOP.
250
00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:21,286
- THE PIT STOP.
RIGHT.
251
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,504
HOW IS MR. STOP?
252
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:28,796
- GENTLEMEN, CAN I HAVE
YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE?
253
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,840
GENTLEMEN?
254
00:09:31,839 --> 00:09:33,639
GENTLEMEN?
255
00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:36,511
- [blowing vuvuzela]
256
00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:54,660
NEVER HAD A LESSON!
257
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:55,702
BOYS, TAKE A SEAT.
258
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:57,126
WENDELL, TELL THEM
ALL THE FUN STUFF
259
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,470
WE'RE ABOUT TO DO.
260
00:09:58,465 --> 00:09:59,665
- SURE.
261
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,197
NOW, IF YOU'LL ALL
LOOK UNDER YOUR SEAT,
262
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:02,971
YOU'LL EACH FIND
YOUR OWN PARTY SURVIVAL KIT.
263
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:03,970
- * OH, YEAH
264
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,071
* A PARTY SURVIVAL KIT
265
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,073
* WHOO
266
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:10,484
* LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED *
267
00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:13,307
- ON THE TOP YOU WILL FIND
YOUR EMERGENCY CONTACT FORMS.
268
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,123
- * EMERGENCY CONTACT FORM
269
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,045
* CAN I GET A WHAT, WHAT?
270
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:20,120
WAIT.
WHAT?
271
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,590
- PLEASE FILL THEM OUT
WHILE I EXPLAIN
272
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,588
THE DANGERS YOU MIGHT ENCOUNTER
AT THIS PARTY.
273
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,390
- OH, NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
274
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:29,432
- I THINK WE SHOULD BEGIN WITH
THE VERY REAL POSSIBILITY OF
275
00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:30,659
DEATH BY FIRE.
276
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:32,734
- OH, MY GOSH.
- ARE YOU SERIOUS?
277
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,973
- SO STUPID.
- WHAT?
278
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,338
- DON'T FORGET, SMOKE RISES,
279
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,406
SO IT'S IMPORTANT
THAT YOU CROUCH AND CRAWL.
280
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:40,665
STAY LOW AND GO.
THAT'S OUR MOTTO.
281
00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:42,014
NOW, I'D LIKE TO HIGHLIGHT
282
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:43,909
ALL THE POSSIBLE EXITS
FROM THIS APARTMENT.
283
00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:44,981
- [clears throat]
284
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,408
WENDELL, AT THIS POINT
IN THE PARTY,
285
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:48,153
I DON'T THINK THAT'S
SUCH A GOOD IDEA.
286
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,248
CAN I HAVE A MOMENT?
COME ON.
287
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:53,750
- WHY IS THERE SO MUCH PAPERWORK
AT THIS PARTY?
288
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:57,094
- WHO'D YOU PUT
FOR NEXT OF KIN?
289
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,930
- WHAT I'M SAYING IS,
THIS PARTY NEEDS TO BE FUN.
290
00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:00,886
YOUR FUTURE POPULARITY AT SCHOOL
IS ON THE LINE,
291
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:03,164
SO LIGHTEN UP.
292
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,733
- DON'T WORRY, UNCLE VINNIE.
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE JAKE.
293
00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:07,743
- REMEMBER OUR RULE?
294
00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:10,495
both: ONLY USE SLANG
FROM THE 21ST CENTURY.
295
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:11,743
- YEAH, I KNOW.
296
00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:14,469
- REMEMBER, BE UPBEAT!
[laughs].
297
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:15,484
- OKAY.
- YEAH!
298
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:16,575
- RIGHT.
299
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:18,046
HEY, GUYS, YOU READY
TO HAVE SOME FUN?
300
00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:19,445
all: YEAH!
301
00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:21,976
- WHO KNOWS
WHAT A TRACHEOTOMY IS?
302
00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:23,452
- WHAT?
- [groans]
303
00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:29,564
[quirky brass music]
304
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:31,456
[phone keyboards clacking]
305
00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:33,928
- IS THERE AN EMOTICON
FOR "WORST PARTY EVER"?
306
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:38,467
- JUST PUT DOWN "WPE."
307
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:40,565
- WENDELL, YOU'RE LOSING THEM.
308
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:42,897
THE GOOD NEWS IS,
YOU'RE TRENDING.
309
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:44,543
- I HAVE TO ENGAGE THEM SOMEHOW.
310
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:47,137
- WELL, I REALLY THINK IT MIGHT
BE A GOOD TIME FOR HALO.
311
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:48,640
- I'VE GOT SOMETHING
BETTER THAN HALO.
312
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:49,681
- ALL RIGHT.
313
00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:51,136
- OKAY, GUYS,
THIS IS A LEARNING GAME.
314
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:53,254
- ALREADY NOT BETTER
THAN HALO.
315
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,676
- OKAY, THESE STICKERS
HAVE THE NAMES
316
00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:57,482
OF FAMOUS SCIENTISTS ON THEM.
317
00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:58,794
I'LL GO FIRST.
318
00:11:58,786 --> 00:12:01,416
THEN WE ASK EACH OTHER QUESTIONS
TO FIND OUT WHO WE ARE.
319
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:05,631
NOW, TELL ME ABOUT MYSELF.
320
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:06,955
- YOUR NAME IS RICHARD FEYNMAN.
321
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,400
CAN WE BE DONE NOW?
322
00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:12,297
- REMEMBER KATHY?
323
00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:13,929
- NO, THERE WAS NO KATHY
AT OUR SCHOOL.
324
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:18,074
- YEAH, I KNOW.
HOW WEIRD IS THAT, RIGHT?
325
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,411
UM, WHAT ABOUT
OUR FRENCH TEACHER?
326
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:23,077
MONSIEUR--
- MADAME LEISNER?
327
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:26,206
- NOT AFTER THE OPERATION.
328
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:30,676
- OUI, OUI.
329
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,158
- OKAY, SO YOU DON'T
KNOW SCIENTISTS.
330
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,260
FINE.
331
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:42,701
I DIDN'T WANT
TO HAVE TO DUMB IT DOWN,
332
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:46,425
BUT I GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO GO
WITH CELEBRITY VERSION.
333
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:51,073
OKAY, NOW,
WITHOUT SAYING THE NAME...
334
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,710
WHO AM I?
335
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:00,851
- YOU'RE MAKING A FOOL
OF YOURSELF.
336
00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:04,218
- I'M NICOLAS SARKOZY?
337
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:07,217
- PLEASE, THERESA.
COME PICK ME UP.
338
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,060
THIS PARTY SUCKS.
339
00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:10,986
- OKAY, IT'S OFFICIAL.
340
00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:13,091
THEY HATE THIS PARTY,
AND MAYBE THEY EVEN HATE ME.
341
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:14,863
- NO, THEY DON'T.
I GOT THIS.
342
00:13:14,862 --> 00:13:16,732
- I WAS KIDDING.
YOU'RE NOT FIRED.
343
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:18,569
- HEY, THERESA.
NO, EVERYTHING'S GREAT.
344
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,725
HARRISON'S A DELIGHT, BUT I
DON'T NEED TO TELL YOU THAT.
345
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:23,043
SEE YOU TOMORROW.
I'LL HANG ON TO THIS.
346
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:24,966
- HEY, GUYS, WHO'S UP
FOR ALMOST ICE CREAM?
347
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:26,072
- THANK GOD.
[all cheering]
348
00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:27,673
YEAH, ICE CREAM, EVERYBODY!
[laughs]
349
00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:31,244
- SWEET!
- YUMMY!
350
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:33,054
[groans]
351
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:34,206
TARYN, THIS ISN'T ICE CREAM.
352
00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:36,884
- CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
353
00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:38,624
- THIS IS HORRIBLE.
I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD.
354
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:40,348
[all shout]
- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
355
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:41,753
NOT IN THAT!
NOT IN THAT!
356
00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:43,364
- SERIOUSLY?
IT SAYS, "BARF BUCKET."
357
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,526
- YEAH, IT'S A COLLECTIBLE
FROM THE SET OF BRIDESMAIDS.
358
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:46,955
TARYN, HELP ME.
THE BATHROOM.
359
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,560
- OH.
OH.
360
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:52,031
- OKAY, YOU CAN'T BELIEVE HOW
LAME WENDELL BASSETT'S PARTY IS.
361
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:53,732
- DID I SAY LAME?
I MEANT AWESOME.
362
00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:56,673
THEY'RE GIVING US ALL
IPAD MINIS.
363
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:57,739
- SERIOUSLY, DUDE.
364
00:13:57,737 --> 00:13:59,267
I'M ABOUT TO POST IT
ON FACEBOOK.
365
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:00,572
PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY THROWING UP.
366
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,813
- BRO, HOW MANY OF THESE THINGS
DO YOU HAVE?
367
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:04,639
NO, NO, NO.
I'LL KEEP THIS.
368
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:06,314
I'LL KEEP THAT.
- COME ON, GIVE ME MY PHONE!
369
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:07,683
- [speaks gibberish mockingly]
370
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,820
- OKAY, GIVE US OUR PHONES,
OR WE'RE OUT OF HERE.
371
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:12,386
- GUYS, WAIT.
372
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:13,385
THIS PARTY IS YOUR CHANCE
373
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:14,916
TO GET TO KNOW ME
A LITTLE BETTER.
374
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,187
- YOU HAVE NO RIGHT
TO TAKE OUR PHONES.
375
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,562
- GIVE ME MY PHONE!
GIVE IT TO ME!
376
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,500
- I WANT TO GO HOME!
WE DON'T EVEN HAVE TO STAY HERE.
377
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:23,655
- YEAH, LET'S GO HOME.
- YEAH.
378
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:26,673
all: GO HOME!
GO HOME! GO HOME!
379
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,966
- WE DON'T HAVE TO STAY HERE.
- YEAH, I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE.
380
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,599
- COME ON, GUYS.
- LET'S GO.
381
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:33,073
- [shouting]
382
00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:34,073
JUST BACK, ALL OF YOU,
383
00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:36,744
OR THESE GO
RIGHT IN THE TOILET!
384
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,513
- I DON'T THINK HE'S BLUFFING.
- DUDE, DON'T.
385
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:39,781
I HAVEN'T SYNCED
IN TWO WEEKS.
386
00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:41,949
- JUST GET BACK
INTO THE LIVING ROOM,
387
00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:43,719
AND SETTLE DOWN.
388
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,486
I'M WATCHING YOU.
389
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:47,956
OKAY?
390
00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:49,955
OKAY.
391
00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:51,687
- UNCLE VINNIE, WAIT.
392
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,291
IF THESE GUYS WANT TO GO,
JUST LET THEM GO.
393
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:54,433
I'LL BE OKAY.
394
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:55,857
I HAVE A STACK
OF UNREAD NEW YORKERS,
395
00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:57,332
LIKE, THIS HIGH.
396
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,370
- NO, NO.
I CAN FIX THIS.
397
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:02,066
YOU'LL SEE!
THEY'LL ALL SEE!
398
00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,469
- I'M STARTING TO THINK
399
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:07,771
THAT YOU DIDN'T EVEN GO
TO MY SCHOOL.
400
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:08,984
- YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
401
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:11,736
I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE.
402
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:15,854
I WENT TO THE GIRL'S SCHOOL
ACROSS TOWN.
403
00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:17,678
- OUR LADY OF PERPETUAL SORROW?
404
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:20,454
- YES. YES.
GO SORROW.
405
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:21,993
- WHA--
406
00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:24,119
[stammering]
WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME?
407
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:26,594
- WELL, IT'S EMBARRASSING.
408
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,033
I WANTED TO SPEND
SOME TIME WITH YOU,
409
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:30,128
AND I THOUGHT
THE ONLY WAY I COULD DO THAT
410
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:32,700
WAS TO TELL YOU THAT WE WENT
TO THE SAME SCHOOL.
411
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,310
- NOW THAT YOU TOLD THE TRUTH,
412
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:41,136
DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER?
413
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:44,411
- I'LL SAY.
414
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:48,121
YOU KNOW, I REMEMBER THE GIRLS
AT PERPETUAL SORROW.
415
00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:49,815
YOU STILL GOT
YOUR UNIFORM?
416
00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:51,776
- WE COULD CHECK MY CLOSET.
- LET'S DO THAT.
417
00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:55,616
- OKAY, GUYS.
YEAH.
418
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,192
SOME CRAP FOR YOU.
[boys cheering]
419
00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:58,790
CRAP FOR YOU.
420
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:02,031
YEAH, IT'S RAINING CRAP!
IT'S A CRAP STORM!
421
00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:03,359
WHOO-HOO-HOO!
422
00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:07,203
- VINNIE, YOU'RE GOING
TO MAKE THEM SICK.
423
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,170
OKAY, POINT TAKEN.
NO WORRIES.
424
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:12,040
I'M GONNA GO MAKE
THE THE RICE CAKES
425
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:13,839
AND TOFU MALLOW S'MORES.
426
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,680
YOU KNOW WHY THEY
CALL THEM S'MORES, DON'T YOU?
427
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:18,945
BECAUSE AFTER YOU EAT ONE,
YOU WANT ANOTHER ONE.
428
00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:21,945
- I AM ALONE.
429
00:16:21,948 --> 00:16:23,548
ALL RIGHT.
NEW PLAN, EVERYBODY.
430
00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:24,920
THE OLD PLAN
WAS JUST A FAKE-OUT.
431
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,347
[laughs]
FOOLED YOU!
432
00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:29,323
ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE
FOR YOU GUYS?
433
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,792
I HAVE, UH...
434
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:33,831
I HAVE SUPER FOAM BLASTERS!
435
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,396
- SUPER FOAM BLASTERS?
- FOAM BLASTERS?
436
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:36,555
- THAT'S AWESOME!
- AWESOME!
437
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:38,573
- I'M A DIABETIC.
438
00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:40,225
- YES!
439
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:42,143
RARE, MINT-CONDITION,
WOULD MAKE ME A FORTUNE,
440
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:44,195
BUT WHAT THE HELL, LET'S
RIP THEM OPEN FOAM BLASTERS!
441
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:45,514
all: YEAH!
442
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,135
- WAIT, UNCLE VINNIE!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
443
00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:48,710
- YEAH, HERE'S A NEUTRON BURST.
444
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:50,138
- SWEET.
- ALL RIGHT.
445
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:52,683
VIOLATOR ANNIHILATOR FOR YOU.
- AW!
446
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,209
- THE MIGHTY BOSS BOW.
447
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,124
AND FOR YOU,
MAMA'S LITTLE HELPER.
448
00:16:57,784 --> 00:16:58,794
- UNCLE VINNIE, PLEASE.
449
00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:00,685
NO GUNS.
I'M A PACIFIST.
450
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,187
SHOULD I SACRIFICE
MY TRUE SELF,
451
00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:03,789
THE CORE OF WHO I AM
452
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:06,230
JUST TO BE POPULAR
WITH A BUNCH OF 12-YEAR-OLDS?
453
00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,656
- LOOK, I'M NOT ASKING YOU
TO CHANGE.
454
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,460
I'M JUST ASKING YOU
TO LOOSEN UP.
455
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:12,772
NOW, I'M GONNA HAND YOU
THIS MARSHMALLOW ASSASSIN.
456
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:16,235
WHAT'S YOUR FUN, CRAZY SIDE
TELLING YOU TO DO?
457
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:19,336
- INCREASE OUR
LIABILITY INSURANCE?
458
00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:20,339
[dart whistles]
459
00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:26,151
- LET'S DO THIS.
460
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:27,706
I DECLARE WAR!
461
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,184
[all shouting]
462
00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:30,882
[darts whistling]
463
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,123
- [screams]
464
00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:34,389
- COME ON, WENDELL!
EVERYBODY'S HAVING FUN!
465
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,657
- YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS FUN?
466
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:37,615
UNSCRATCHED CORNEAS!
467
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:39,925
[boys shouting]
468
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:41,486
- [grunts]
469
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:42,804
YOU MAY TAKE MY FREEDOM,
470
00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:45,165
BUT YOU'LL NEVER TAKE
MY LEATHER SLEEPER SOFA
471
00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:47,225
THAT I'M RENTING TO OWN!
472
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:49,404
- GET HIM!
473
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:52,342
[all shouting]
474
00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:53,339
- STOP!
475
00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:54,370
I BROUGHT SAFETY GOGGLES!
476
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,344
JUST STOP BEFORE YOU PUT
YOUR EYES OUT!
477
00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:58,383
- OH, COME ON, WENDELL,
STOP THINKING ABOUT SAFETY,
478
00:17:58,378 --> 00:17:59,578
AND THINK ABOUT FUN!
479
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,149
- WHY ARE YOU MAKING
THOSE TWO THINGS
480
00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:04,678
MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE?
481
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,394
- DANG IT.
482
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,456
- [sniffs]
YOU SMELL THAT?
483
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:09,555
- WASN'T ME.
484
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,286
- NO.
I SMELL SMOKE.
485
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:16,795
[fire alarm beeping]
486
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:17,826
- [coughs]
FIRE!
487
00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:19,170
GUYS, THERE'S A REAL FIRE
IN HERE!
488
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:20,396
- FIRE?
- THE KITCHEN'S ON FIRE!
489
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,170
IT'S RUINING
ALL THE FOOD I COOKED!
490
00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:24,039
- NO, IT ISN'T.
491
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:26,006
- FIRE! A FIRE!
A REAL FIRE!
492
00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:27,005
- WHAT DO WE DO?
493
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:28,536
- WAIT.
WE KNOW WHAT TO DO.
494
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:29,741
- I DON'T!
I DON'T!
495
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,282
I WASN'T LISTENING!
496
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,908
WHY DON'T I EVER LISTEN?
497
00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:35,353
- SOMEONE CALL 911.
498
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:38,048
- I CAN DO THAT!
I'VE GOT 18 PHONES!
499
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:41,050
- THIS IS NOT A DRILL, PEOPLE!
LET'S REMEMBER OUR TRAINING!
500
00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:43,193
THAT'S IT.
HERE WE GO.
501
00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:46,990
GET GOING.
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
502
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:50,103
[all coughing]
503
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:51,396
- WE'RE ON THE FIFTH FLOOR.
504
00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:52,768
WAIT, MY BARF BUCKET!
505
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:54,065
- FORGET ABOUT IT,
UNCLE VINNIE!
506
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:57,496
IT'S GONE!
LET'S GO!
507
00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:59,214
[quirky brass music]
508
00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:00,706
- WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND
IS HOW THE FOOD
509
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,437
IN MR. BASSETT'S APARTMENT
GOT BURNED.
510
00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:05,452
- THAT'S THE WAY
SHE SERVED IT.
511
00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:06,675
- BYE, WENDELL.
YOU WERE GREAT.
512
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,219
I'LL CALL YOU.
513
00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:10,545
- GREAT PARTY.
CALL YOU TOMORROW.
514
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:12,050
- THEY'RE GONNA
CALL ME TOMORROW.
515
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:14,591
- I HEARD.
516
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,687
- BYE, WENDELL.
YOU WERE PRETTY BRAVE.
517
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,489
- WELL, I WAS SCARED
JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.
518
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:19,791
- DIDN'T SEEM LIKE IT.
519
00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:23,002
GOOD JOB.
520
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,055
- HE PUNCHED ME!
521
00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:26,233
- YOU ARE IN, MAN!
522
00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:28,073
- SO DO I PUNCH HIM BACK,
OR DO I KICK HIM, OR WHAT?
523
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:30,237
- NO, NO, NO, YOU'RE GOOD.
524
00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:32,137
- SO WHO CARES IF I'M NOT
A CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRL?
525
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:34,768
I'M STILL FILLED WITH SHAME.
526
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:36,814
- HEY, MARCO, YOU OKAY?
527
00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:38,249
- IT WAS SO MUCH FUN.
528
00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:42,245
THERE WAS A FIRE.
I PUKED IN SOME GUY'S SHOES.
529
00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:43,519
- PUKE IN MY SHOES.
530
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,686
TRUE SIGN
OF A GREAT PARTY!
531
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:48,316
- I'M HERE FOR DAVID.
532
00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:49,321
- FRANK?
533
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:51,862
FRANK FROM
ANNAPOLIS HIGH SCHOOL?
534
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:53,758
[scoffs]
- I'M SORRY?
535
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,560
- IT'S ME, KATHY!
536
00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:58,162
GO PANTHERS!
537
00:19:58,164 --> 00:20:00,834
- YOUR LEG GREW BACK.
538
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:04,203
- I KNOW.
ISN'T SCIENCE AMAZING?
539
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,973
NOW, I GOT
A LITTLE INDONESIAN...
540
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:10,678
- WENDELL, I PROMISED YOU
A SLEEPOVER,
541
00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:12,207
AND THAT'S WHAT
YOU'RE GONNA GET.
542
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,311
- THANKS, UNCLE VINNIE.
543
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:15,083
I'M GLAD IT ALL WORKED OUT,
544
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:16,781
EXCEPT FOR THE FOOD.
545
00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:19,393
- HEY.
546
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:20,846
- SO, IN YOUR MIND,
VOMITING CHILDREN
547
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:23,163
AND A BURNED-DOWN APARTMENT
IS A SUCCESS?
548
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:24,915
- FINE.
549
00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:26,594
- HEY, WENDELL.
HERE'S THE BEST PART.
550
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,503
[chimes jingling]
551
00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:29,725
HUH?
552
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,699
YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO SLEEP
UNDER THE STARS, RIGHT?
553
00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:33,428
- THAT'S PRETTY COOL.
554
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:36,603
- WOW.
- YEAH.
555
00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:38,873
- YOU REALIZE, OF COURSE,
THAT IT'S ALL BACKWARDS, RIGHT?
556
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:41,041
- OH, MY GOD.
HOW CAN YOU EVEN TELL?
38553
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