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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:10,683 - WENDELL! 2 00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,948 FOUND THE SOURCE OF THAT STINK IN THE HOUSE. 3 00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:14,006 AND GUESS WHAT. 4 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,924 THIS TIME, IT'S NOT ME. 5 00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,447 LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN YOUR BACKPACK. 6 00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:19,822 - LET ME SEE THAT. 7 00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:20,950 EW. GROSS. 8 00:00:20,954 --> 00:00:22,164 WAIT, WAIT. COME HERE. 9 00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:25,156 EW! GROSS! 10 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,029 - YOU GOT A REAL SCIENCE PROJECT GROWING IN HERE, PAL. 11 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,697 - I DID HAVE A REAL SCIENCE PROJECT GROWING IN THERE 12 00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:32,567 UNTIL YOU EXPOSED IT TO LIGHT AND RUINED IT. 13 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,666 LUCKY FOR YOU, I HAVE 2,000 EXTRA CREDIT POINTS 14 00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:35,738 AS A CUSHION. 15 00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:38,806 [knock at door] 16 00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:39,836 - OH, HEY, LACY. 17 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:40,910 HEY, WENDELL, LACY'S HERE. 18 00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:42,978 - HEY, LACY. YOU'RE HERE EARLY. 19 00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:44,506 I HAVEN'T FINISHED YOUR HOMEWORK YET. 20 00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:45,912 - DON'T SWEAT IT. 21 00:00:45,913 --> 00:00:47,123 I'M HERE FOR STRETCH. 22 00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:48,315 - WHOA, WHOA. 23 00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:49,716 HEY, WHOEVER YOU'RE WORKING FOR, 24 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,987 YOU TELL THEM IT WAS JUST BUSINESS. 25 00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:53,315 - I'M SELLING CANDY BARS 26 00:00:53,321 --> 00:00:55,361 SO THE SCHOOL BAND CAN GET NEW UNIFORMS. 27 00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:56,786 - I DIDN'T KNOW YOU PLAYED AN INSTRUMENT. 28 00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:57,930 - I DON'T PLAY AN INSTRUMENT. 29 00:00:57,925 --> 00:01:00,585 I PLAY THE GAME. 30 00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:02,534 TOP FUNDRAISER GETS A BIKE. 31 00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:04,970 CAN I HELP YOU FIND YOUR CHECKBOOK? 32 00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:07,895 - HEY, HEY. HEY, LACY, HERE'S 20 BUCKS. 33 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,801 JUST REMEMBER WHO SUPPORTED YOU. 34 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:13,914 ONE DAY, I'M GONNA ASK YOU FOR A HEAD START. 35 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:17,507 - YOU CAN ASK. 36 00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:19,251 - BYE, WENDELL. - BYE, LACY. 37 00:01:19,247 --> 00:01:22,447 MAKE THAT PAPER, HOMEY. 38 00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:27,193 - HEY, WENDELL, HOW COME YOU'RE NOT TAKING PART 39 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:28,558 IN THE SALES CONTEST? 40 00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:31,156 - OH, I DON'T KNOW. THAT'S LACY'S THING. 41 00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:32,389 I DON'T WANT TO BE A SALESMAN. 42 00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:33,793 I WANT TO BE A SCIENTIST. 43 00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:36,034 - YOU DON'T THINK SCIENTISTS ARE SALESMEN? 44 00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:37,169 I MEAN, ALL THOSE THEORIES THEY HAVE, 45 00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:38,365 THEY'RE JUST OPINIONS. 46 00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:41,396 - YEAH, QUANTUM THEORY, EXPANDING UNIVERSE, 47 00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:42,602 HOW PARACHUTES WORK. 48 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:43,603 NO ONE REALLY KNOWS. 49 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:44,974 LOOK, WENDELL... 50 00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:47,182 SALES IS A BASSET FAMILY TRADITION 51 00:01:47,175 --> 00:01:49,075 HANDED DOWN FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION, 52 00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:50,076 RIGHT, WILMA? 53 00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:51,347 - THAT'S RIGHT, VINNIE. 54 00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:52,975 BASSET'S SELL. 55 00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:53,980 - IT'S WHAT WE DO. 56 00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:55,421 IT'S IN OUR WHEELHOUSE. 57 00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:59,446 - IN FACT, YOUR GREAT-GREAT UNCLE CHARLIE SOLD WHEELHOUSES. 58 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,993 - AND I, TOO, OF COURSE, AM A PROFESSIONAL SALESMAN. 59 00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:03,059 - AND I AM A LAWYER. 60 00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:04,886 I SELL MORE THAN ANYBODY. 61 00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:06,562 I MEAN, GOSH, WITH OUR HELP, 62 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:07,760 YOU CAN DO THIS. 63 00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,261 YOU ARE A BASSET. 64 00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:10,633 - YEAH, COME ON. 65 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,771 I COULDN'T TEACH YOU HOW TO THROW A FOOTBALL 66 00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:13,926 OR A BASEBALL-- 67 00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,674 - OR A HOCKEY BALL. 68 00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:19,669 - YOU MAKE MY POINT FOR ME. 69 00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:22,583 AT LEAST LET ME TEACH YOU HOW TO SELL A CANDY BAR. 70 00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:24,446 - YOU KNOW WHAT? SURE. 71 00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,745 WHO AM I TO FLY IN THE FACE OF FAMILY TRADITION? 72 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:27,747 - YEAH! - YEAH! 73 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,778 - WHOO! I DID IT! 74 00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:30,783 WOW. 75 00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:31,994 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 76 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,215 I SOLD HIM, THOUGH. 77 00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:34,791 - YOU DID NOT-- OKAY. 78 00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:35,988 OKAY, DO I NEED TO BRING YOU BACK 79 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,459 TO A LITTLE YEAR CALLED 1992, 80 00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:41,229 WHEN A CERTAIN BLOND MAJORETTE WON A BIKE 81 00:02:41,229 --> 00:02:43,259 FOR BEING THE TOP FUNDRAISER AT OUR SCHOOL, 82 00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:47,444 BEATING OUT A CERTAIN GANGLY LIT-- 83 00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:49,335 YOU. I BEAT OUT YOU. 84 00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:50,767 - OH, MY GOD. 85 00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,411 I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT THAT BIKE. 86 00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,236 - YEAH, WELL, THE POINT IS, I CRUSHED YOU. 87 00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:55,882 - YEAH, THE FREE GIFT WITH PURCHASE 88 00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,306 YOU GAVE THE FOOTBALL TEAM 89 00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:59,311 WAS MORE THAN I WAS WILLING TO OFFER. 90 00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:07,362 [quirky brass music] 91 00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:08,355 92 00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:10,356 - I NEVER FELT SO GOOD 93 00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:12,158 - NEVER FELT SO GOOD 94 00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:14,299 - I NEVER FELT SO GOOD 95 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:17,055 - NEVER FELT SO GOOD 96 00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:19,004 - SO WAIT A MINUTE 97 00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:19,999 HEY 98 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,440 I NEVER FELT SO GOOD 99 00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:30,377 - HEY. - WHOA! 100 00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:32,548 BACK! GET OFF OF HIM. 101 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:33,646 HAPPY! 102 00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:34,947 OH, DON'T WORRY. 103 00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:38,418 HE WON'T HURT YOU. HE'S JUST KISSING. 104 00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:39,849 - UGH. 105 00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:43,493 I FEEL LIKE I WENT THROUGH A CARWASH FULL OF DOG SPIT. 106 00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:46,731 OOH! I GOT A NEW BUSINESS IDEA. 107 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,297 WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS DOG ANYWAY? 108 00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:49,496 - HE FOUND ME. 109 00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:51,027 I WAS ON MY WAY TO SELL MY ENGAGEMENT RING, 110 00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:52,931 'CAUSE I DECIDED IT'S FINALLY TIME I MOVE ON 111 00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,373 FROM MY EX-HUSBAND. 112 00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:57,098 - OKAY, FINE. I'LL GO OUT WITH YOU. 113 00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:59,844 - ANYWAY, BEFORE I COULD EVEN GET TO THE JEWELER, 114 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,310 I PASS THIS ADOPTION FAIR, 115 00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:03,339 AND THIS LITTLE GUY JUST STOLE MY HEART. 116 00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:04,354 ISN'T HE CUTE? 117 00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:05,745 - YEAH, SURE. NOW HE IS. 118 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,946 HE WASN'T SO CUTE WHEN HE WAS STOMPING ALL OVER TOKYO. 119 00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,079 - HE'S BIG. 120 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:14,093 THAT'S WHY THE GUY GAVE ME THESE. 121 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,457 - SHOCK COLLARS? 122 00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:16,656 TARYN, THESE-- [electrical sizzling] 123 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,757 - OH! 124 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:19,759 - AH! 125 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,030 I WAS GONNA SAY "CRUEL," 126 00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:24,328 BUT I AM INCLINED TO BEHAVE RIGHT NOW. 127 00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:26,332 - IT MADE ME THINK I HAD NO CHOICE. 128 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,444 THE SALESMAN HAD A HOOK FOR A HAND, 129 00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:30,035 SO I FIGURED HE KNEW SOMETHING ABOUT SAFETY. 130 00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:31,437 - AHA! 131 00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:32,709 I TOOK WENDELL TO MY OFFICE TODAY, 132 00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:35,806 AND WE SOLD TWO CASES OF CANDY. 133 00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:38,349 - IT SEEMED MORE LIKE A THREAT THAN A SALES PITCH. 134 00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:41,976 SHE SAID, "BUY THEM OR I'LL MAKE YOU WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN." 135 00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:44,182 - SWEETIE, THAT'S NOT A THREAT. 136 00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:46,524 THAT'S AN INCENTIVE PROGRAM. 137 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,990 [dog barks] 138 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:50,990 WHOA. 139 00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:52,361 WHO LET THAT BEAST IN HERE? 140 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,430 AND WHY DOES SHE HAVE A DOG? 141 00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:58,029 - UH, THIS IS THE NEW MAN IN TARYN'S LIFE. 142 00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,031 - WILL HE BITE ME? 143 00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:00,932 - NO. 144 00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,804 JUST DON'T MAKE EYE CONTACT 145 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,513 OR ANY SUDDEN MOVEMENTS 146 00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:05,505 OR SHOW FEAR 147 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:06,506 OR INDIFFERENCE. 148 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:07,977 YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST WAVE. 149 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:11,035 - JEEZ, IT'S LIKE VISITING GRANDPA. 150 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,714 - YOU KNOW, WILMA, BLACKMAILING YOUR COWORKERS 151 00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,384 ISN'T EXACTLY GOOD SALESMANSHIP. 152 00:05:15,383 --> 00:05:17,023 WENDELL, GRAB A BOX. 153 00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:19,787 I'M GONNA SHOW YOU HOW A REAL SALESMAN OPERATES, 154 00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:22,417 DO A LITTLE OF WHAT WE CALL IN THE BUSINESS "COLD CALLING." 155 00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:23,593 [dog barks] 156 00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:26,791 - WHOA, HAPPY! I GUESS WE'RE GOING NOW. 157 00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:28,704 HE MAY HAVE PEED ON THE FLOOR. 158 00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:30,526 - JUST LIKE GRANDPA. 159 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:37,637 - OKAY, FIRST LESSON: THE DOOR KNOCK. 160 00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:38,808 IT'S LIKE A HANDSHAKE. 161 00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:40,136 BE FIRM. 162 00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:42,210 NOW, I'M NOT SAYING YOU BANG ON THE DOOR LIKE, 163 00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:44,139 [in German accent] "WHERE ARE YOUR PAPERS?" 164 00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:46,214 YOU KNOW, YOU WANT A KNOCK THAT SAYS, 165 00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:47,423 "HEY, I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU 166 00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:49,015 THAT'S GONNA CHANGE YOUR LIFE." 167 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,616 LIKE SO. 168 00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:54,318 [knocks at door] 169 00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:57,731 - WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT? 170 00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:59,325 - YO--IT WAS HIM. HE DID IT. 171 00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:01,256 TAKE IT AWAY. 172 00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:03,801 - UM, SORRY TO DISTURB YOU, SIR. 173 00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:05,097 - TOO LATE! 174 00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:06,428 - RIGHT. 175 00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:09,304 UM, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BUY A CANDY BAR 176 00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:12,742 TO HELP OUR SCHOOL BUY NEW BAND UNIFORMS. 177 00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:15,240 - LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, WILLY LOMAN. 178 00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:16,642 YOU KNOCK ON MY DOOR AGAIN, 179 00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:19,154 I'M GONNA PULL OUT YOUR FINGERNAILS, 180 00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:21,816 AND THEN I'M GONNA FEED THEM TO MY FALCON. 181 00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,827 - YOU WANT TO MARK HIM DOWN AS A NO. 182 00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:35,762 - CHOCOLATE? 183 00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:37,903 EVERYBODY ALREADY THINKS I'M PREGNANT. 184 00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:45,040 - MM. 185 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,480 - THIS IS POINTLESS. I CAN'T SELL ANYTHING. 186 00:06:49,477 --> 00:06:51,277 - HEY, HEY. YOU'RE A BASSET. 187 00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:53,478 AND BASSETS DON'T QUIT. 188 00:06:53,481 --> 00:06:55,551 WE JUST GOT TO RETHINK OUR APPROACH HERE. 189 00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:56,949 SEE, IT'S BAND UNIFORMS. 190 00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,150 THEY'RE A TOUGH SELL. 191 00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:00,121 NO ONE LOOKS GOOD IN BAND UNIFORMS, 192 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,620 EXCEPT FOR FLYING MONKEYS. 193 00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:03,693 LET'S BE HONEST. 194 00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:06,091 FLYING MONKEYS LOOK GOOD IN EVERYTHING. 195 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,193 HERE, GIVE ME THAT. 196 00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:09,104 I GOT AN IDEA. 197 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,726 - UNCLE VINNIE, LET'S JUST GO HOME. 198 00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,801 - RELAX. WATCH ME WORK. 199 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:16,000 [knock at door] 200 00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:17,003 - YES? 201 00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:18,214 - OH, EXCUSE ME, MA'AM. 202 00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:20,005 MY NEPHEW AND I ARE SELLING CANDY BARS 203 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,277 TO RAISE MONEY TO CURE A RARE DISEASE 204 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:26,405 CALLED WILMANOSIS BACTERIUS. 205 00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,915 WILL YOU HELP US FIND A CURE? 206 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,217 - BUT UNCLE VINNIE, THERE'S-- 207 00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:32,218 - SHH. 208 00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,319 SAVE YOUR STRENGTH, LITTLE HERO. 209 00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:36,191 HE DOESN'T HAVE LONG. 210 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,419 - I DON'T HAVE A DISEASE. 211 00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:39,564 - OH, NOT IF YOU BELIEVE, LITTLE BUDDY. 212 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,390 NOT IF YOU BELIEVE. 213 00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:44,364 THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 214 00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:46,134 OKAY. 215 00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,003 IT'S GONNA BE OKAY. 216 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,301 IT'S GONNA BE OKAY! 217 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,544 WENDELL'S GOT A CASE 218 00:07:55,543 --> 00:07:57,783 OF WILMANOSIS BACTERIUS 219 00:07:57,778 --> 00:08:00,608 HE COULDN'T BE HERE BECAUSE HE'S DELIRIOUS 220 00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,124 THANK YOU. 221 00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,345 - UNCLE VINNIE! 222 00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:04,820 - MM. 223 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,018 HEY, LOOK, IT'S A MIRACLE 224 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:10,320 HERE HE IS 225 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,863 - UNCLE VINNIE, YOU'RE SELLING UNDER FALSE PRETENSES. 226 00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,430 - SO WHO GETS HURT? 227 00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:16,557 THE BAND GETS THEIR UNIFORMS, YOU GET A BIKE, 228 00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:17,934 AND THEY FEEL GOOD FOR GIVING. 229 00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:19,031 EVERYBODY'S HAPPY. 230 00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,472 - BUT IT'S NOT ABOUT THE BAND. 231 00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:22,167 YOU'VE GOT TO STOP LYING. 232 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,569 - THIS IS BIGGER THAN BAND UNIFORMS NOW, OKAY? 233 00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:27,172 MY SONG'S BLOWING UP. 234 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,214 I'VE MADE ALMOST $75, 235 00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:29,278 GOT THREE GIRLS' PHONE NUMBERS, 236 00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:30,736 AND ARTISTICALLY, 237 00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:31,814 I FEEL LIKE I'M ON THE VERGE 238 00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:34,482 OF SOME NEXT-LEVEL DYLAN-TYPE STUFF. 239 00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:36,151 - BUT IT'S WRONG. 240 00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:38,689 YOU CAN'T JUST STAND HERE AND SELL LIKE THIS. 241 00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:39,846 - YOU'RE RIGHT. 242 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,423 WE SHOULD CHANGE CORNERS. 243 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:42,791 THE CHINESE MICHAEL JACKSON IMPERSONATOR 244 00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:45,590 IS GIVING ME THE STINK-EYE. 245 00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:47,633 BY THE WAY, IT'S BILLIE JEAN. 246 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,604 - WELL, LOOK WHO'S HOME. 247 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,500 - [gasps] 248 00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:58,037 - HEY, LACY. 249 00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,408 - YOU KNOW, YOU'RE POACHING MY TURF. 250 00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:01,266 - OH, I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T-- 251 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,414 - HEY, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 252 00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:05,810 THERE'S NO TURF IN THE FREE MARKET. 253 00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:07,313 THAT'S THE WAY THE WEST WAS WON, SISTER. 254 00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:08,484 WORKED FOR EVERYBODY, 255 00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:09,921 EXCEPT, OF COURSE, THE NATIVE AMERICANS, 256 00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:11,887 BUT YOU GET MY POINT. 257 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,445 - YOU WANT TO LIVE BY THE RULES OF THE WEST, 258 00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:17,264 THEN YOU CAN DIE BY THEM TOO, RIGHT, PARTNER? 259 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,260 - HEY, GUYS, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 260 00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,402 - HAPPY! 261 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,396 BAD DOG! 262 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,427 YOU CANNOT EAT THAT! 263 00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:27,372 THAT'S MINE. NO, NO, NO! 264 00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,637 - HEY, TARYN, YOU ALL RIGHT? 265 00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:31,297 - ABBY JUST SWALLOWED MY ENGAGEMENT RING. 266 00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:36,644 - ANYWAY, THE PRINCIPAL CALLED. 267 00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:39,684 HE WANTS TO SEE US, ALL THREE OF US. 268 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:40,710 - UH-OH. 269 00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:41,884 THAT'S IT. IT'S OVER. 270 00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,052 I KNEW IT! 271 00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,320 THE WHOLE HOUSE OF CARDS IS CRASHING DOWN. 272 00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:45,487 I'M FINISHED IN THIS TOWN. 273 00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:47,815 - HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. RELAX, RELAX. 274 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,691 MAYBE HE JUST WANTS TO CONGRATULATE US 275 00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:50,720 ON WINNING THE CONTEST. 276 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:51,734 - YEAH. 277 00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:54,225 - UNCLE VINNIE... 278 00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,357 I APPRECIATE EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE FOR ME. 279 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,773 YOU TOOK ME IN. YOU MADE A HOME FOR ME. 280 00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:03,436 BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW, IF YOU GOT ME IN TROUBLE, 281 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:06,366 I WILL FLIP ON YOU FASTER THAN A CHINESE GYMNAST. 282 00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:21,885 FOR A FLESH-EATING DISEASE CALLED WILMANOSIS BACTERIUS? 283 00:10:21,889 --> 00:10:23,389 - YOUR HONOR, BEFORE I BEGIN-- 284 00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:24,760 - I'M NOT A JUDGE. 285 00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,428 I'M A PRINCIPAL. 286 00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:27,696 - OH, MY BAD. 287 00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:30,425 YOU JUST--YOU HAVE A CERTAIN INHERENT DIGNITY, SO... 288 00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:33,130 - NO, I DON'T. 289 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,673 - WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY, SIR, 290 00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,069 IT'S ALL MY BROTHER'S FAULT. 291 00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,340 HE'S JUST MAD BECAUSE I WAS GONNA BEAT HIM AGAIN 292 00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:41,409 JUST LIKE WHEN WE WERE KIDS AND I WON THE BIKE. 293 00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:42,708 - NOW I'M MAD BECAUSE YOU ACCUSED ME 294 00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:44,750 OF BREAKING YOUR PRECIOUS BIKE WHEN I DIDN'T! 295 00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:46,005 - WELL, THEN, WHO DID? 296 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,053 - WELL, I DON'T KNOW! 297 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,977 [both arguing] 298 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,282 - [in high-pitched voice] STOP! 299 00:10:56,857 --> 00:11:01,727 LOOK, I HAVE CHILDREN WHO DON'T LISTEN TO ME HERE. 300 00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:03,759 I HAVE CHILDREN WHO DON'T LISTEN TO ME AT HOME. 301 00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,604 AND WHEN I'M NOT WITH CHILDREN WHO DON'T LISTEN TO ME, 302 00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:11,168 I'M WITH MY WIFE, WATCHING HER FAVORITE SHOW, JAG. 303 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,811 IN FACT, THE ONLY TIME I HAVE IN MY LIFE 304 00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,006 WHEN I'M NOT WITH CHILDREN 305 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:17,077 WHO DON'T LISTEN TO ME OR WATCHING JAG 306 00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:20,807 IS FROZEN YOGURT FRIDAY. 307 00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:22,584 BUT INSTEAD OF SITTING IN THE PEACE AND QUIET 308 00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:23,822 OF THE SUPPLY CLOSET 309 00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:27,787 EATING FROZEN YOGURT AND NOT WATCHING JAG, 310 00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:32,258 I'M HERE WITH YOU. 311 00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:34,129 - YOU KNOW WHAT'S A GOOD SHOW IS THAT NCIS. 312 00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:35,227 - WE LOVE THAT SHOW. 313 00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,028 - HE'S RUGGEDLY HANDSOME. 314 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:40,170 - [in high-pitched voice] OH! 315 00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:46,436 WENDELL, YOU'RE A MODEL STUDENT. 316 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:49,309 AND I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR THIS. 317 00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,279 BUT I AM GOING TO HAVE TO DISQUALIFY YOU 318 00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:53,008 FOR ANY CREDIT YOU'VE EARNED 319 00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,953 ON THE SALES YOU'VE MADE THUS FAR. 320 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,348 - THAT'S MORE THAN FAIR, SIR. 321 00:11:56,349 --> 00:12:00,849 - IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, WE'RE NOW DONE HERE. 322 00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:03,064 IT'S 12:27. 323 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:06,086 GOOD-BYE, GUMMI BEAR TOPPINGS. 324 00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,399 - RIDICULOUS. 325 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,800 YOU KNOW--YOU KNOW-- YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO? 326 00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:19,373 I'M GONNA MAKE A DISEASE, VINNIOSIS STUPID HEAD. 327 00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:20,812 - OH, YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT THAT. 328 00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:21,978 - YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOOD AT? - GET OFF! 329 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:24,235 - YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOOD AT? - STOP IT. 330 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:27,514 both: HEY, LACY. 331 00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:30,984 - HEY, WENDELL, WE'LL MEET YOU IN THE CAR, OKAY? 332 00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:33,194 both: SEE YOU. 333 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,255 - WHEN I SAW YOUR SALES SPIKE UP LIKE THAT, 334 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:38,557 I KNEW YOU HAD TO BE JUICING. 335 00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:40,358 - THIS WASN'T THE WAY I WANTED TO DO IT. 336 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:41,460 - IT'S OKAY, WENDELL. 337 00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,161 YOU COULDN'T DO IT ANY OTHER WAY. 338 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:44,163 - YES, I COULD. 339 00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:45,404 I COULD DO THIS ON MY OWN. 340 00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:46,528 - NO, YOU COULDN'T. 341 00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,103 THAT'S WHY YOU HAD TO CHEAT. 342 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,401 YOU'RE A CHEATER. 343 00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:53,012 - HEY, IF YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT, 344 00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:56,236 THEN MAYBE WE'RE NOT FRIENDS. 345 00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:57,213 - I GUESS WE'RE NOT. 346 00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:05,119 - IT'S PISTACHIO. 347 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,888 IT'S PISTACHIO. 348 00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,970 - WENDELL, WE'RE SORRY. JUST COME ON DOWN. 349 00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,596 YOUR COLD NOODLES ARE GETTING COLD. 350 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:21,870 - YEAH, I'M SORRY TOO. 351 00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:22,999 YOU KNOW, WE JUST GOT CAUGHT UP 352 00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:25,173 IN OUR OWN STUPID SIBLING RIVALRY. 353 00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:26,942 - YEAH, VINNIE'S JUST MAD BECAUSE HE'S THE BABY, 354 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:29,080 AND OUR PARENTS USED TO ALWAYS CALL HIM, YOU KNOW, 355 00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:30,706 THEIR LITTLE ACCIDENT. 356 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:32,480 - SHUT UP! 357 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:33,479 YOU SHUT YOUR FACE! 358 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,280 THEY WERE JOKING WHEN THEY SAID THAT. 359 00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:36,552 - OH, WERE THEY? 360 00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:37,889 - YEAH. 361 00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:39,115 THEY WANTED TO HAVE ME 362 00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:42,719 TO PROVE THEY COULD ACTUALLY MAKE GOOD CHILDREN. 363 00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:43,892 HEY, COME ON. 364 00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:46,131 STOP BEING MAD AT US. 365 00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:47,656 - I'M NOT MAD. 366 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,900 I'M JUST... DISAPPOINTED IN YOU TWO. 367 00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,025 - LOOK, WENDELL, I'M SORRY. 368 00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:55,474 - YEAH, I'M MORE SORRY THAN SHE IS. 369 00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:56,598 - STOP TRYING TO TOP ME! 370 00:13:56,603 --> 00:14:00,243 - LOOK, WENDELL, I ACTED LIKE AN ANIMAL. 371 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,010 AND I DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE ONE. 372 00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:03,809 ANY TIME YOU THINK I'M BEHAVING CHILDISHLY, 373 00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,150 I WANT YOU TO GIVE ME A SHOCK. 374 00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:06,305 - THAT'S YOUR MOVE? 375 00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:11,123 YOU THINK I CAN'T HANDLE A LITTLE PAIN? 376 00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:12,288 [electrical sizzling] AH! 377 00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:13,285 UGH. 378 00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:14,416 WHAT WAS THAT? 379 00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:17,521 - I GUESS THIS IS YOUR CONTROLLER, SO... 380 00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,501 AH! 381 00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:23,955 OW! 382 00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:25,934 YOU... 383 00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:26,933 ALL RIGHT, LET'S NOT-- 384 00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:28,544 [electrical sizzling] AH! 385 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,795 WILMA, KNOCK IT OFF. 386 00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:31,142 WENDELL, TELL HER TO STOP. 387 00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:33,338 - OH, I'M VINNIE. I CAN'T STAND A LITTLE P-- 388 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:36,140 [electrical sizzling] 389 00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:38,083 [gasps] 390 00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:41,948 WENDELL, TELL HIM TO STOP. 391 00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:43,679 - WHERE YOU GOING? 392 00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:45,693 - TO PROVE TO LACY AND EVERYBODY ELSE 393 00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:48,115 THAT WENDELL BASSET IS NO CHEATER. 394 00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,121 I'M GONNA WIN THAT BIKE, 395 00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:50,762 AND I'M GONNA WIN IT CLEAN. 396 00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:51,757 - I'M GOING WITH YOU. 397 00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:52,758 - NO, I'M GOING WITH YOU. 398 00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:54,229 - NO. 399 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,757 I'M DOING THIS MY WAY. 400 00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,562 IF I HAVE TO DO IT YOUR WAY TO BE A BASSET, 401 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,434 THEN MAYBE I'M NOT A BASSET. 402 00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:14,046 - WATCH YOURSELF. 403 00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:16,447 - YOU WATCH YOURSELF. 404 00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:19,489 [electrical sizzling] both: AH! 405 00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:21,646 - LET'S JUST CALM D... [electrical sizzling] 406 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:22,994 - UGH. - DOWN. 407 00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:26,230 [both grunting] 408 00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:27,386 - AH! 409 00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:28,464 AGH! 410 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:30,131 DUH! 411 00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:32,030 OKAY! DUH! 412 00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,602 EH! 413 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,900 OKAY. 414 00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:38,313 - LET'S JUST BOTH BE ADULTS-- 415 00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:39,605 [both screaming] 416 00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:48,216 [knock at door] 417 00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:50,045 - I TAUGHT HIM HOW TO KNOCK. - SHH! 418 00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:53,785 - YOU? 419 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,816 - SIR, BEFORE YOU SIC YOUR FALCON ON ME, 420 00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:58,033 SURELY YOU MUST UNDERSTAND 421 00:15:58,025 --> 00:16:00,385 HOW THE ARTS ARE THE SOUL OF AN EDUCATION. 422 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,663 AND WITHOUT AN EDUCATED POPULOUS, 423 00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:04,332 OUR VERY DEMOCRACY IS THREATENED. 424 00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:05,401 PLEASE BUY A CANDY BAR. 425 00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:07,468 THE FATE OF THE NATION DEPENDS ON IT. 426 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,097 - THEN WE'RE ALL SCREWED. 427 00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:10,672 - I'M AN ORPHAN. 428 00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:12,040 - AN ORPHAN? 429 00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:13,269 - FULL-BLOWN. 430 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,043 NO PARENTS. NO SIBLINGS. 431 00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:18,382 AND MY HAMSTER DOESN'T LOOK TOO WELL. 432 00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:19,548 - GREAT. 433 00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:21,046 NOW IF I DON'T DO THIS, I'M THE BAD GUY 434 00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:23,318 WHO DOESN'T BUY CANDY FROM AN ORPHAN 435 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:26,816 INSTEAD OF THE COOL GUY WITH THE FALCON. 436 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,059 HOW MANY BOXES YOU GOT THERE, OLIVER TWIST? 437 00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:30,656 - FIVE. 438 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:31,957 - GIVE 'EM ALL TO ME. COME ON. 439 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,061 - THANK YOU. 440 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:42,271 I KNOW YOU'RE THERE. 441 00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:46,109 SOLD FIVE BOXES. TOLD NO LIES. 442 00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:47,766 - THAT BOY'S A BASSET. 443 00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:50,284 - YES. YES, HE IS. 444 00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:53,277 [marching band playing out of tune] 445 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:57,380 446 00:16:57,384 --> 00:17:00,094 - OKAY, BAND, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 447 00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:03,387 TAKE FIVE. 448 00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:05,790 OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH. 449 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:09,262 TIME TO STOP NOW. 450 00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:10,262 SHUT IT! 451 00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:11,763 YOU'RE AWFUL! 452 00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:16,895 HOW ABOUT THAT BAND? 453 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,165 - HI, LACY. 454 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:24,943 JOAQUIN, JULIO, GUILLERMO... 455 00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:27,954 TODD. 456 00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:29,417 NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, 457 00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,316 I HOPE WE CAN FIND A WAY TO BE FRIENDS AGAIN. 458 00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:35,358 - WHAT DO YOU THINK, BOYS? 459 00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:38,855 THAT ANSWERS THAT. 460 00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:42,558 - AND NOW I'D LIKE TO ANNOUNCE OUR TOP FUNDRAISER 461 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:46,602 AND THE WINNER OF THIS BRAND-NEW BICYCLE, 462 00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:50,199 WOW, 463 00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:54,013 IN A REMARKABLE COMEBACK, WENDELL BASSET. 464 00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:57,576 [cheers and applause] 465 00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,047 - WE LOVE YOU, WENDELL! 466 00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:01,676 - THANK YOU. 467 00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:04,381 I THOUGHT THIS CONTEST WAS A WASTE OF TIME... 468 00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:06,154 AT FIRST. 469 00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:09,193 BUT I'M GLAD I DID IT BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD TO WIN. 470 00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:12,629 AND KNOWING I DID IT ON MY OWN IS PRIZE ENOUGH FOR ME. 471 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:15,155 THAT'S WHY I'D LIKE TO GIVE THIS BEAUTIFUL BIKE 472 00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:17,802 TO SOMEONE WHO REALLY INSPIRED ME, 473 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:20,397 MY BEST FRIEND, LACY. 474 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,630 SHE DESERVES IT. 475 00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:27,971 - THANKS, BUDDY. I MISSED YOU. 476 00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:32,814 [applause] 477 00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,182 - YOU KNOW, THERE'S SOMETHING I NEVER TOLD YOU 478 00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:36,451 ABOUT THAT CONTEST WE HAD 20 YEARS AGO. 479 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:39,319 I NEVER SAID "CONGRATULATIONS." 480 00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:41,619 - AND THERE'S SOMETHING I NEVER SAID 481 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:45,291 FOR THE PAST 20 YEARS. 482 00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:46,732 I KNOW YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WHO BROKE MY BIKE 483 00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:50,496 BECAUSE I'M THE ONE WHO BROKE MY BIKE. 484 00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:52,997 IT'S JUST--MOM AND DAD WERE MORE CONCERNED 485 00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:54,329 ABOUT HOW YOU WOULD FEEL LOSING THE CONTEST 486 00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,574 THAN THEY WERE HAPPY FOR ME WINNING IT. 487 00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:58,869 THAT'S WHY I BROKE MY BIKE AND BLAMED YOU, 488 00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:00,711 BECAUSE I WANTED THEM TO BE MAD AT YOU 489 00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:03,677 AND FEEL SORRY FOR ME. 490 00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,881 - I KNOW. 491 00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,279 I KNEW ALL ALONG. 492 00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:10,581 - WOW. 493 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,253 WOW. WOW. 494 00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:15,092 YOU JUST COULDN'T LET ME HAVE MY NICE CONFESSIONAL MOMENT, 495 00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:16,087 COULD YOU? 496 00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,218 YOU HAD TO TOP ME. 497 00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:18,264 - WHAT? - "OH, I KNEW THE WHOLE TIME." 498 00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:19,388 - IT'S THE TRUTH. 499 00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:20,432 - YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME. 500 00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:21,557 - I DON'T THINK-- 501 00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:22,601 - YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME. 502 00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:23,725 - I DON'T THINK-- 503 00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:24,800 - YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME. 504 00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:26,427 - ALL RIGHT, I'M BETTER THAN YOU. 505 00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:27,703 - YOU'RE NOT BETTER-- YOU ARE NOT BETTER-- 506 00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,870 - HEY, WHAT IS GOING ON OVER HERE? 507 00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:30,869 - NOTHING. - IT'S ALL COOL. 508 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,040 WE'RE GOOD. 509 00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:33,608 - STRAIGHTENING UP YOUR UNCLE'S SHIRT. 510 00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:36,236 MAKING SURE WE'RE A BROTHER AND SISTER WHO LOVE EACH OTHER. 511 00:19:36,243 --> 00:19:37,283 WE LOVE EACH OTHER! 512 00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:38,677 HA-HA! I LOVE HIM. 513 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:41,148 I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. 514 00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:43,077 [grunting] 515 00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:51,257 - WELL, IT TOOK TWO HOURS AND A POUND OF DOGGY LAXATIVES, 516 00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:52,928 BUT HE FINALLY GAVE UP MY RING. 517 00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:55,355 TURNS OUT HAPPY LIKES TO EAT SHINY THINGS. 518 00:19:58,631 --> 00:19:59,831 ANY OF THIS STUFF YOURS? 519 00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:02,002 - NOTHING I WANT ANYMORE. 520 00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:05,341 - I DON'T EVEN WANT THAT COFFEE TABLE ANYMORE. 521 00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:07,868 - I REALIZED I'M NOT READY FOR ANOTHER SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP. 522 00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:09,784 - SO WHAT, YOU'RE JUST GONNA GET RID OF HIM? 523 00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:12,076 - THEY FOUND HIM A HOME WITH A HUGE YARD. 524 00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:14,308 HAPPY WILL BE HAPPIER. 525 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:15,384 THEY'RE GONNA SWING BY ANY MINUTE. 526 00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:17,122 I'M JUST WAITING FOR THEIR CALL. 527 00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:21,046 [cell phone ringing] 528 00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:38,867 [ringing continues] 529 00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:40,711 I'M GONNA LET IT GO TO VOICEMAIL. 35893

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