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1
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:10,683
- WENDELL!
2
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,948
FOUND THE SOURCE
OF THAT STINK IN THE HOUSE.
3
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:14,006
AND GUESS WHAT.
4
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,924
THIS TIME,
IT'S NOT ME.
5
00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,447
LOOK WHAT I FOUND
IN YOUR BACKPACK.
6
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:19,822
- LET ME SEE THAT.
7
00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:20,950
EW.
GROSS.
8
00:00:20,954 --> 00:00:22,164
WAIT, WAIT.
COME HERE.
9
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:25,156
EW!
GROSS!
10
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,029
- YOU GOT A REAL SCIENCE PROJECT
GROWING IN HERE, PAL.
11
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,697
- I DID HAVE A REAL SCIENCE
PROJECT GROWING IN THERE
12
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:32,567
UNTIL YOU EXPOSED IT TO LIGHT
AND RUINED IT.
13
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,666
LUCKY FOR YOU, I HAVE 2,000
EXTRA CREDIT POINTS
14
00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:35,738
AS A CUSHION.
15
00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:38,806
[knock at door]
16
00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:39,836
- OH, HEY, LACY.
17
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:40,910
HEY, WENDELL,
LACY'S HERE.
18
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:42,978
- HEY, LACY.
YOU'RE HERE EARLY.
19
00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:44,506
I HAVEN'T FINISHED
YOUR HOMEWORK YET.
20
00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:45,912
- DON'T SWEAT IT.
21
00:00:45,913 --> 00:00:47,123
I'M HERE FOR STRETCH.
22
00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:48,315
- WHOA, WHOA.
23
00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:49,716
HEY,
WHOEVER YOU'RE WORKING FOR,
24
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,987
YOU TELL THEM
IT WAS JUST BUSINESS.
25
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:53,315
- I'M SELLING CANDY BARS
26
00:00:53,321 --> 00:00:55,361
SO THE SCHOOL BAND
CAN GET NEW UNIFORMS.
27
00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:56,786
- I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU PLAYED AN INSTRUMENT.
28
00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:57,930
- I DON'T PLAY AN INSTRUMENT.
29
00:00:57,925 --> 00:01:00,585
I PLAY THE GAME.
30
00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:02,534
TOP FUNDRAISER
GETS A BIKE.
31
00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:04,970
CAN I HELP YOU
FIND YOUR CHECKBOOK?
32
00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:07,895
- HEY, HEY.
HEY, LACY, HERE'S 20 BUCKS.
33
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,801
JUST REMEMBER
WHO SUPPORTED YOU.
34
00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:13,914
ONE DAY, I'M GONNA ASK YOU
FOR A HEAD START.
35
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:17,507
- YOU CAN ASK.
36
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:19,251
- BYE, WENDELL.
- BYE, LACY.
37
00:01:19,247 --> 00:01:22,447
MAKE THAT PAPER,
HOMEY.
38
00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:27,193
- HEY, WENDELL, HOW COME
YOU'RE NOT TAKING PART
39
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:28,558
IN THE SALES CONTEST?
40
00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:31,156
- OH, I DON'T KNOW.
THAT'S LACY'S THING.
41
00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:32,389
I DON'T WANT
TO BE A SALESMAN.
42
00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:33,793
I WANT
TO BE A SCIENTIST.
43
00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:36,034
- YOU DON'T THINK
SCIENTISTS ARE SALESMEN?
44
00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:37,169
I MEAN,
ALL THOSE THEORIES THEY HAVE,
45
00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:38,365
THEY'RE JUST OPINIONS.
46
00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:41,396
- YEAH, QUANTUM THEORY,
EXPANDING UNIVERSE,
47
00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:42,602
HOW PARACHUTES WORK.
48
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:43,603
NO ONE REALLY KNOWS.
49
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:44,974
LOOK, WENDELL...
50
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:47,182
SALES
IS A BASSET FAMILY TRADITION
51
00:01:47,175 --> 00:01:49,075
HANDED DOWN
FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION,
52
00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:50,076
RIGHT, WILMA?
53
00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:51,347
- THAT'S RIGHT, VINNIE.
54
00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:52,975
BASSET'S SELL.
55
00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:53,980
- IT'S WHAT WE DO.
56
00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:55,421
IT'S IN OUR WHEELHOUSE.
57
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:59,446
- IN FACT, YOUR GREAT-GREAT
UNCLE CHARLIE SOLD WHEELHOUSES.
58
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,993
- AND I, TOO, OF COURSE,
AM A PROFESSIONAL SALESMAN.
59
00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:03,059
- AND I AM A LAWYER.
60
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:04,886
I SELL MORE THAN ANYBODY.
61
00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:06,562
I MEAN, GOSH,
WITH OUR HELP,
62
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:07,760
YOU CAN DO THIS.
63
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,261
YOU ARE A BASSET.
64
00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:10,633
- YEAH, COME ON.
65
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,771
I COULDN'T TEACH YOU
HOW TO THROW A FOOTBALL
66
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:13,926
OR A BASEBALL--
67
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,674
- OR A HOCKEY BALL.
68
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:19,669
- YOU MAKE MY POINT FOR ME.
69
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:22,583
AT LEAST LET ME TEACH YOU
HOW TO SELL A CANDY BAR.
70
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:24,446
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
SURE.
71
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,745
WHO AM I TO FLY IN THE FACE
OF FAMILY TRADITION?
72
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:27,747
- YEAH!
- YEAH!
73
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,778
- WHOO!
I DID IT!
74
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:30,783
WOW.
75
00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:31,994
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
76
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,215
I SOLD HIM, THOUGH.
77
00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:34,791
- YOU DID NOT--
OKAY.
78
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:35,988
OKAY,
DO I NEED TO BRING YOU BACK
79
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,459
TO A LITTLE YEAR CALLED 1992,
80
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:41,229
WHEN A CERTAIN
BLOND MAJORETTE WON A BIKE
81
00:02:41,229 --> 00:02:43,259
FOR BEING THE TOP FUNDRAISER
AT OUR SCHOOL,
82
00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:47,444
BEATING OUT A CERTAIN
GANGLY LIT--
83
00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:49,335
YOU.
I BEAT OUT YOU.
84
00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:50,767
- OH, MY GOD.
85
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,411
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU'RE STILL
TALKING ABOUT THAT BIKE.
86
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,236
- YEAH, WELL,
THE POINT IS, I CRUSHED YOU.
87
00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:55,882
- YEAH,
THE FREE GIFT WITH PURCHASE
88
00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,306
YOU GAVE THE FOOTBALL TEAM
89
00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:59,311
WAS MORE
THAN I WAS WILLING TO OFFER.
90
00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:07,362
[quirky brass music]
91
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:08,355
*
92
00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:10,356
- * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
93
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:12,158
- * NEVER FELT SO GOOD
94
00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:14,299
- * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
95
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:17,055
- * NEVER FELT SO GOOD
96
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:19,004
- * SO WAIT A MINUTE
97
00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:19,999
* HEY
98
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,440
* I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
99
00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:30,377
- HEY.
- WHOA!
100
00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:32,548
BACK!
GET OFF OF HIM.
101
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:33,646
HAPPY!
102
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:34,947
OH, DON'T WORRY.
103
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:38,418
HE WON'T HURT YOU.
HE'S JUST KISSING.
104
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:39,849
- UGH.
105
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:43,493
I FEEL LIKE I WENT THROUGH
A CARWASH FULL OF DOG SPIT.
106
00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:46,731
OOH!
I GOT A NEW BUSINESS IDEA.
107
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,297
WHERE DID YOU
FIND THIS DOG ANYWAY?
108
00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:49,496
- HE FOUND ME.
109
00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:51,027
I WAS ON MY WAY
TO SELL MY ENGAGEMENT RING,
110
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:52,931
'CAUSE I DECIDED
IT'S FINALLY TIME I MOVE ON
111
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,373
FROM MY EX-HUSBAND.
112
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:57,098
- OKAY, FINE.
I'LL GO OUT WITH YOU.
113
00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:59,844
- ANYWAY, BEFORE I COULD
EVEN GET TO THE JEWELER,
114
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,310
I PASS THIS ADOPTION FAIR,
115
00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:03,339
AND THIS LITTLE GUY
JUST STOLE MY HEART.
116
00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:04,354
ISN'T HE CUTE?
117
00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:05,745
- YEAH, SURE.
NOW HE IS.
118
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,946
HE WASN'T SO CUTE WHEN
HE WAS STOMPING ALL OVER TOKYO.
119
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,079
- HE'S BIG.
120
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:14,093
THAT'S WHY THE GUY
GAVE ME THESE.
121
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,457
- SHOCK COLLARS?
122
00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:16,656
TARYN, THESE--
[electrical sizzling]
123
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,757
- OH!
124
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:19,759
- AH!
125
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,030
I WAS GONNA SAY "CRUEL,"
126
00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:24,328
BUT I AM INCLINED
TO BEHAVE RIGHT NOW.
127
00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:26,332
- IT MADE ME THINK
I HAD NO CHOICE.
128
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,444
THE SALESMAN
HAD A HOOK FOR A HAND,
129
00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:30,035
SO I FIGURED
HE KNEW SOMETHING ABOUT SAFETY.
130
00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:31,437
- AHA!
131
00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:32,709
I TOOK WENDELL
TO MY OFFICE TODAY,
132
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:35,806
AND WE SOLD TWO CASES
OF CANDY.
133
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:38,349
- IT SEEMED MORE LIKE A THREAT
THAN A SALES PITCH.
134
00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:41,976
SHE SAID, "BUY THEM OR I'LL MAKE
YOU WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN."
135
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:44,182
- SWEETIE,
THAT'S NOT A THREAT.
136
00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:46,524
THAT'S AN INCENTIVE PROGRAM.
137
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,990
[dog barks]
138
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:50,990
WHOA.
139
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:52,361
WHO LET THAT BEAST IN HERE?
140
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,430
AND WHY DOES SHE HAVE A DOG?
141
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:58,029
- UH, THIS IS THE NEW MAN
IN TARYN'S LIFE.
142
00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,031
- WILL HE BITE ME?
143
00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:00,932
- NO.
144
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,804
JUST DON'T MAKE EYE CONTACT
145
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,513
OR ANY SUDDEN MOVEMENTS
146
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:05,505
OR SHOW FEAR
147
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:06,506
OR INDIFFERENCE.
148
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:07,977
YOU KNOW WHAT?
JUST WAVE.
149
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:11,035
- JEEZ,
IT'S LIKE VISITING GRANDPA.
150
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,714
- YOU KNOW, WILMA,
BLACKMAILING YOUR COWORKERS
151
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,384
ISN'T EXACTLY
GOOD SALESMANSHIP.
152
00:05:15,383 --> 00:05:17,023
WENDELL,
GRAB A BOX.
153
00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:19,787
I'M GONNA SHOW YOU
HOW A REAL SALESMAN OPERATES,
154
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:22,417
DO A LITTLE OF WHAT WE CALL IN
THE BUSINESS "COLD CALLING."
155
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:23,593
[dog barks]
156
00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:26,791
- WHOA, HAPPY!
I GUESS WE'RE GOING NOW.
157
00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:28,704
HE MAY HAVE PEED ON THE FLOOR.
158
00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:30,526
- JUST LIKE GRANDPA.
159
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:37,637
- OKAY, FIRST LESSON:
THE DOOR KNOCK.
160
00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:38,808
IT'S LIKE A HANDSHAKE.
161
00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:40,136
BE FIRM.
162
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:42,210
NOW, I'M NOT SAYING
YOU BANG ON THE DOOR LIKE,
163
00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:44,139
[in German accent]
"WHERE ARE YOUR PAPERS?"
164
00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:46,214
YOU KNOW,
YOU WANT A KNOCK THAT SAYS,
165
00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:47,423
"HEY, I HAVE
SOMETHING TO TELL YOU
166
00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:49,015
THAT'S GONNA CHANGE YOUR LIFE."
167
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,616
LIKE SO.
168
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:54,318
[knocks at door]
169
00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:57,731
- WHAT THE HELL
DO YOU WANT?
170
00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:59,325
- YO--IT WAS HIM.
HE DID IT.
171
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:01,256
TAKE IT AWAY.
172
00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:03,801
- UM, SORRY TO DISTURB YOU, SIR.
173
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:05,097
- TOO LATE!
174
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:06,428
- RIGHT.
175
00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:09,304
UM, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WOULD
LIKE TO BUY A CANDY BAR
176
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:12,742
TO HELP OUR SCHOOL
BUY NEW BAND UNIFORMS.
177
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:15,240
- LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,
WILLY LOMAN.
178
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:16,642
YOU KNOCK ON MY DOOR AGAIN,
179
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:19,154
I'M GONNA
PULL OUT YOUR FINGERNAILS,
180
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:21,816
AND THEN I'M GONNA FEED THEM
TO MY FALCON.
181
00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,827
- YOU WANT TO MARK HIM DOWN
AS A NO.
182
00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:35,762
- CHOCOLATE?
183
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:37,903
EVERYBODY
ALREADY THINKS I'M PREGNANT.
184
00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:45,040
- MM.
185
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,480
- THIS IS POINTLESS.
I CAN'T SELL ANYTHING.
186
00:06:49,477 --> 00:06:51,277
- HEY, HEY.
YOU'RE A BASSET.
187
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:53,478
AND BASSETS DON'T QUIT.
188
00:06:53,481 --> 00:06:55,551
WE JUST GOT TO RETHINK
OUR APPROACH HERE.
189
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:56,949
SEE, IT'S BAND UNIFORMS.
190
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,150
THEY'RE A TOUGH SELL.
191
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:00,121
NO ONE LOOKS GOOD
IN BAND UNIFORMS,
192
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,620
EXCEPT FOR FLYING MONKEYS.
193
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:03,693
LET'S BE HONEST.
194
00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:06,091
FLYING MONKEYS
LOOK GOOD IN EVERYTHING.
195
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,193
HERE,
GIVE ME THAT.
196
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:09,104
I GOT AN IDEA.
197
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,726
- UNCLE VINNIE,
LET'S JUST GO HOME.
198
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,801
- RELAX.
WATCH ME WORK.
199
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:16,000
[knock at door]
200
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:17,003
- YES?
201
00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:18,214
- OH, EXCUSE ME, MA'AM.
202
00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:20,005
MY NEPHEW AND I
ARE SELLING CANDY BARS
203
00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,277
TO RAISE MONEY
TO CURE A RARE DISEASE
204
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:26,405
CALLED WILMANOSIS BACTERIUS.
205
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,915
WILL YOU HELP US FIND A CURE?
206
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,217
- BUT UNCLE VINNIE,
THERE'S--
207
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:32,218
- SHH.
208
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,319
SAVE YOUR STRENGTH,
LITTLE HERO.
209
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:36,191
HE DOESN'T HAVE LONG.
210
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,419
- I DON'T HAVE A DISEASE.
211
00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:39,564
- OH, NOT IF YOU BELIEVE,
LITTLE BUDDY.
212
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,390
NOT IF YOU BELIEVE.
213
00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:44,364
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
214
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:46,134
OKAY.
215
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,003
IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.
216
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,301
IT'S GONNA BE OKAY!
217
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,544
* WENDELL'S GOT A CASE *
218
00:07:55,543 --> 00:07:57,783
* OF WILMANOSIS
BACTERIUS *
219
00:07:57,778 --> 00:08:00,608
* HE COULDN'T BE HERE
BECAUSE HE'S DELIRIOUS *
220
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,124
THANK YOU.
221
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,345
- UNCLE VINNIE!
222
00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:04,820
- MM.
223
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,018
* HEY, LOOK,
IT'S A MIRACLE *
224
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:10,320
* HERE HE IS
225
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,863
- UNCLE VINNIE, YOU'RE SELLING
UNDER FALSE PRETENSES.
226
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,430
- SO WHO GETS HURT?
227
00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:16,557
THE BAND GETS THEIR UNIFORMS,
YOU GET A BIKE,
228
00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:17,934
AND THEY FEEL GOOD
FOR GIVING.
229
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:19,031
EVERYBODY'S HAPPY.
230
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,472
- BUT IT'S NOT ABOUT THE BAND.
231
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:22,167
YOU'VE GOT TO STOP LYING.
232
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,569
- THIS IS BIGGER
THAN BAND UNIFORMS NOW, OKAY?
233
00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:27,172
MY SONG'S BLOWING UP.
234
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,214
I'VE MADE ALMOST $75,
235
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:29,278
GOT THREE GIRLS' PHONE NUMBERS,
236
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:30,736
AND ARTISTICALLY,
237
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:31,814
I FEEL LIKE I'M ON THE VERGE
238
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:34,482
OF SOME NEXT-LEVEL
DYLAN-TYPE STUFF.
239
00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:36,151
- BUT IT'S WRONG.
240
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:38,689
YOU CAN'T JUST STAND HERE
AND SELL LIKE THIS.
241
00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:39,846
- YOU'RE RIGHT.
242
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,423
WE SHOULD CHANGE CORNERS.
243
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:42,791
THE CHINESE
MICHAEL JACKSON IMPERSONATOR
244
00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:45,590
IS GIVING ME THE STINK-EYE.
245
00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:47,633
BY THE WAY,
IT'S BILLIE JEAN.
246
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,604
- WELL, LOOK WHO'S HOME.
247
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,500
- [gasps]
248
00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:58,037
- HEY, LACY.
249
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,408
- YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE POACHING MY TURF.
250
00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:01,266
- OH, I'M SORRY.
I DIDN'T--
251
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,414
- HEY, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WHOA.
252
00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:05,810
THERE'S NO TURF
IN THE FREE MARKET.
253
00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:07,313
THAT'S THE WAY
THE WEST WAS WON, SISTER.
254
00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:08,484
WORKED FOR EVERYBODY,
255
00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:09,921
EXCEPT, OF COURSE,
THE NATIVE AMERICANS,
256
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:11,887
BUT YOU GET MY POINT.
257
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,445
- YOU WANT TO LIVE
BY THE RULES OF THE WEST,
258
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:17,264
THEN YOU CAN DIE
BY THEM TOO, RIGHT, PARTNER?
259
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,260
- HEY, GUYS,
I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
260
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,402
- HAPPY!
261
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,396
BAD DOG!
262
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,427
YOU CANNOT EAT THAT!
263
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:27,372
THAT'S MINE.
NO, NO, NO!
264
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,637
- HEY, TARYN,
YOU ALL RIGHT?
265
00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:31,297
- ABBY JUST SWALLOWED
MY ENGAGEMENT RING.
266
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:36,644
- ANYWAY,
THE PRINCIPAL CALLED.
267
00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:39,684
HE WANTS TO SEE US,
ALL THREE OF US.
268
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:40,710
- UH-OH.
269
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:41,884
THAT'S IT.
IT'S OVER.
270
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,052
I KNEW IT!
271
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,320
THE WHOLE HOUSE OF CARDS
IS CRASHING DOWN.
272
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:45,487
I'M FINISHED IN THIS TOWN.
273
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:47,815
- HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
RELAX, RELAX.
274
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,691
MAYBE HE JUST WANTS
TO CONGRATULATE US
275
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:50,720
ON WINNING THE CONTEST.
276
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:51,734
- YEAH.
277
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:54,225
- UNCLE VINNIE...
278
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,357
I APPRECIATE EVERYTHING
YOU'VE DONE FOR ME.
279
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,773
YOU TOOK ME IN.
YOU MADE A HOME FOR ME.
280
00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:03,436
BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW,
IF YOU GOT ME IN TROUBLE,
281
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:06,366
I WILL FLIP ON YOU
FASTER THAN A CHINESE GYMNAST.
282
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:21,885
FOR A FLESH-EATING DISEASE
CALLED WILMANOSIS BACTERIUS?
283
00:10:21,889 --> 00:10:23,389
- YOUR HONOR,
BEFORE I BEGIN--
284
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:24,760
- I'M NOT A JUDGE.
285
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,428
I'M A PRINCIPAL.
286
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:27,696
- OH, MY BAD.
287
00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:30,425
YOU JUST--YOU HAVE A CERTAIN
INHERENT DIGNITY, SO...
288
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:33,130
- NO, I DON'T.
289
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,673
- WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY,
SIR,
290
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,069
IT'S ALL MY BROTHER'S FAULT.
291
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,340
HE'S JUST MAD BECAUSE
I WAS GONNA BEAT HIM AGAIN
292
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:41,409
JUST LIKE WHEN WE WERE KIDS
AND I WON THE BIKE.
293
00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:42,708
- NOW I'M MAD
BECAUSE YOU ACCUSED ME
294
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:44,750
OF BREAKING YOUR PRECIOUS BIKE
WHEN I DIDN'T!
295
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:46,005
- WELL, THEN, WHO DID?
296
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,053
- WELL, I DON'T KNOW!
297
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,977
[both arguing]
298
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,282
- [in high-pitched voice]
STOP!
299
00:10:56,857 --> 00:11:01,727
LOOK, I HAVE CHILDREN
WHO DON'T LISTEN TO ME HERE.
300
00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:03,759
I HAVE CHILDREN
WHO DON'T LISTEN TO ME AT HOME.
301
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,604
AND WHEN I'M NOT WITH CHILDREN
WHO DON'T LISTEN TO ME,
302
00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:11,168
I'M WITH MY WIFE,
WATCHING HER FAVORITE SHOW, JAG.
303
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,811
IN FACT, THE ONLY TIME
I HAVE IN MY LIFE
304
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,006
WHEN I'M NOT WITH CHILDREN
305
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:17,077
WHO DON'T LISTEN TO ME
OR WATCHING JAG
306
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:20,807
IS FROZEN YOGURT FRIDAY.
307
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:22,584
BUT INSTEAD OF SITTING
IN THE PEACE AND QUIET
308
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:23,822
OF THE SUPPLY CLOSET
309
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:27,787
EATING FROZEN YOGURT
AND NOT WATCHING JAG,
310
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:32,258
I'M HERE WITH YOU.
311
00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:34,129
- YOU KNOW WHAT'S A GOOD SHOW
IS THAT NCIS.
312
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:35,227
- WE LOVE THAT SHOW.
313
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,028
- HE'S RUGGEDLY HANDSOME.
314
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:40,170
- [in high-pitched voice]
OH!
315
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:46,436
WENDELL,
YOU'RE A MODEL STUDENT.
316
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:49,309
AND I DON'T
BLAME YOU FOR THIS.
317
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,279
BUT I AM GOING
TO HAVE TO DISQUALIFY YOU
318
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:53,008
FOR ANY CREDIT YOU'VE EARNED
319
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,953
ON THE SALES YOU'VE MADE
THUS FAR.
320
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,348
- THAT'S MORE THAN FAIR, SIR.
321
00:11:56,349 --> 00:12:00,849
- IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
WE'RE NOW DONE HERE.
322
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:03,064
IT'S 12:27.
323
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:06,086
GOOD-BYE, GUMMI BEAR TOPPINGS.
324
00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,399
- RIDICULOUS.
325
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,800
YOU KNOW--YOU KNOW--
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO?
326
00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:19,373
I'M GONNA MAKE A DISEASE,
VINNIOSIS STUPID HEAD.
327
00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:20,812
- OH, YOU'RE
REALLY GOOD AT THAT.
328
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:21,978
- YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOOD AT?
- GET OFF!
329
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:24,235
- YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOOD AT?
- STOP IT.
330
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:27,514
both: HEY, LACY.
331
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:30,984
- HEY, WENDELL, WE'LL MEET YOU
IN THE CAR, OKAY?
332
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:33,194
both: SEE YOU.
333
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,255
- WHEN I SAW YOUR SALES
SPIKE UP LIKE THAT,
334
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:38,557
I KNEW
YOU HAD TO BE JUICING.
335
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:40,358
- THIS WASN'T THE WAY
I WANTED TO DO IT.
336
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:41,460
- IT'S OKAY, WENDELL.
337
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,161
YOU COULDN'T DO IT
ANY OTHER WAY.
338
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:44,163
- YES, I COULD.
339
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:45,404
I COULD DO THIS
ON MY OWN.
340
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:46,528
- NO, YOU COULDN'T.
341
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,103
THAT'S WHY YOU HAD TO CHEAT.
342
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,401
YOU'RE A CHEATER.
343
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:53,012
- HEY, IF YOU
REALLY BELIEVE THAT,
344
00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:56,236
THEN MAYBE WE'RE NOT FRIENDS.
345
00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:57,213
- I GUESS WE'RE NOT.
346
00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:05,119
- IT'S PISTACHIO.
347
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,888
IT'S PISTACHIO.
348
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,970
- WENDELL, WE'RE SORRY.
JUST COME ON DOWN.
349
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,596
YOUR COLD NOODLES
ARE GETTING COLD.
350
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:21,870
- YEAH, I'M SORRY TOO.
351
00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:22,999
YOU KNOW,
WE JUST GOT CAUGHT UP
352
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:25,173
IN OUR OWN
STUPID SIBLING RIVALRY.
353
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:26,942
- YEAH, VINNIE'S JUST MAD
BECAUSE HE'S THE BABY,
354
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:29,080
AND OUR PARENTS USED TO ALWAYS
CALL HIM, YOU KNOW,
355
00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:30,706
THEIR LITTLE ACCIDENT.
356
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:32,480
- SHUT UP!
357
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:33,479
YOU SHUT YOUR FACE!
358
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,280
THEY WERE JOKING
WHEN THEY SAID THAT.
359
00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:36,552
- OH, WERE THEY?
360
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:37,889
- YEAH.
361
00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:39,115
THEY WANTED TO HAVE ME
362
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:42,719
TO PROVE THEY COULD
ACTUALLY MAKE GOOD CHILDREN.
363
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:43,892
HEY, COME ON.
364
00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:46,131
STOP BEING MAD AT US.
365
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:47,656
- I'M NOT MAD.
366
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,900
I'M JUST...
DISAPPOINTED IN YOU TWO.
367
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,025
- LOOK, WENDELL, I'M SORRY.
368
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:55,474
- YEAH, I'M MORE SORRY
THAN SHE IS.
369
00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:56,598
- STOP TRYING
TO TOP ME!
370
00:13:56,603 --> 00:14:00,243
- LOOK, WENDELL,
I ACTED LIKE AN ANIMAL.
371
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,010
AND I DESERVE
TO BE TREATED LIKE ONE.
372
00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:03,809
ANY TIME YOU THINK
I'M BEHAVING CHILDISHLY,
373
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,150
I WANT YOU TO GIVE ME A SHOCK.
374
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:06,305
- THAT'S YOUR MOVE?
375
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:11,123
YOU THINK I CAN'T HANDLE
A LITTLE PAIN?
376
00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:12,288
[electrical sizzling]
AH!
377
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:13,285
UGH.
378
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:14,416
WHAT WAS THAT?
379
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:17,521
- I GUESS THIS IS
YOUR CONTROLLER, SO...
380
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,501
AH!
381
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:23,955
OW!
382
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:25,934
YOU...
383
00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:26,933
ALL RIGHT, LET'S NOT--
384
00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:28,544
[electrical sizzling]
AH!
385
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,795
WILMA, KNOCK IT OFF.
386
00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:31,142
WENDELL,
TELL HER TO STOP.
387
00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:33,338
- OH, I'M VINNIE.
I CAN'T STAND A LITTLE P--
388
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:36,140
[electrical sizzling]
389
00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:38,083
[gasps]
390
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:41,948
WENDELL,
TELL HIM TO STOP.
391
00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:43,679
- WHERE YOU GOING?
392
00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:45,693
- TO PROVE TO LACY
AND EVERYBODY ELSE
393
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:48,115
THAT WENDELL BASSET
IS NO CHEATER.
394
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,121
I'M GONNA WIN THAT BIKE,
395
00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:50,762
AND I'M GONNA WIN IT CLEAN.
396
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:51,757
- I'M GOING WITH YOU.
397
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:52,758
- NO, I'M GOING WITH YOU.
398
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:54,229
- NO.
399
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,757
I'M DOING THIS MY WAY.
400
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,562
IF I HAVE TO DO IT YOUR WAY
TO BE A BASSET,
401
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,434
THEN MAYBE I'M NOT A BASSET.
402
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:14,046
- WATCH YOURSELF.
403
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:16,447
- YOU WATCH YOURSELF.
404
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:19,489
[electrical sizzling]
both: AH!
405
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:21,646
- LET'S JUST CALM D...
[electrical sizzling]
406
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:22,994
- UGH.
- DOWN.
407
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:26,230
[both grunting]
408
00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:27,386
- AH!
409
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:28,464
AGH!
410
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:30,131
DUH!
411
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:32,030
OKAY!
DUH!
412
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,602
EH!
413
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,900
OKAY.
414
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:38,313
- LET'S JUST BOTH BE ADULTS--
415
00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:39,605
[both screaming]
416
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:48,216
[knock at door]
417
00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:50,045
- I TAUGHT HIM HOW TO KNOCK.
- SHH!
418
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:53,785
- YOU?
419
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,816
- SIR, BEFORE YOU SIC
YOUR FALCON ON ME,
420
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:58,033
SURELY YOU MUST UNDERSTAND
421
00:15:58,025 --> 00:16:00,385
HOW THE ARTS ARE THE SOUL
OF AN EDUCATION.
422
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,663
AND WITHOUT
AN EDUCATED POPULOUS,
423
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:04,332
OUR VERY DEMOCRACY
IS THREATENED.
424
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:05,401
PLEASE BUY A CANDY BAR.
425
00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:07,468
THE FATE OF THE NATION
DEPENDS ON IT.
426
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,097
- THEN WE'RE ALL SCREWED.
427
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:10,672
- I'M AN ORPHAN.
428
00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:12,040
- AN ORPHAN?
429
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:13,269
- FULL-BLOWN.
430
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,043
NO PARENTS.
NO SIBLINGS.
431
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:18,382
AND MY HAMSTER
DOESN'T LOOK TOO WELL.
432
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:19,548
- GREAT.
433
00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:21,046
NOW IF I DON'T DO THIS,
I'M THE BAD GUY
434
00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:23,318
WHO DOESN'T BUY CANDY
FROM AN ORPHAN
435
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:26,816
INSTEAD OF THE COOL GUY
WITH THE FALCON.
436
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,059
HOW MANY BOXES YOU GOT THERE,
OLIVER TWIST?
437
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:30,656
- FIVE.
438
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:31,957
- GIVE 'EM ALL TO ME.
COME ON.
439
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,061
- THANK YOU.
440
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:42,271
I KNOW YOU'RE THERE.
441
00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:46,109
SOLD FIVE BOXES.
TOLD NO LIES.
442
00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:47,766
- THAT BOY'S A BASSET.
443
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:50,284
- YES.
YES, HE IS.
444
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:53,277
[marching band
playing out of tune]
445
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:57,380
*
446
00:16:57,384 --> 00:17:00,094
- OKAY, BAND,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
447
00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:03,387
TAKE FIVE.
448
00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:05,790
OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH.
449
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:09,262
TIME TO STOP NOW.
450
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:10,262
SHUT IT!
451
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:11,763
YOU'RE AWFUL!
452
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:16,895
HOW ABOUT THAT BAND?
453
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,165
- HI, LACY.
454
00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:24,943
JOAQUIN, JULIO,
GUILLERMO...
455
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:27,954
TODD.
456
00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:29,417
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS,
457
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,316
I HOPE WE CAN FIND A WAY
TO BE FRIENDS AGAIN.
458
00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:35,358
- WHAT DO YOU THINK, BOYS?
459
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:38,855
THAT ANSWERS THAT.
460
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:42,558
- AND NOW I'D LIKE TO ANNOUNCE
OUR TOP FUNDRAISER
461
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:46,602
AND THE WINNER
OF THIS BRAND-NEW BICYCLE,
462
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:50,199
#WOW,
463
00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:54,013
IN A REMARKABLE COMEBACK,
WENDELL BASSET.
464
00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:57,576
[cheers and applause]
465
00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,047
- WE LOVE YOU, WENDELL!
466
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:01,676
- THANK YOU.
467
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:04,381
I THOUGHT THIS CONTEST
WAS A WASTE OF TIME...
468
00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:06,154
AT FIRST.
469
00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:09,193
BUT I'M GLAD I DID IT
BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD TO WIN.
470
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:12,629
AND KNOWING I DID IT ON MY OWN
IS PRIZE ENOUGH FOR ME.
471
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:15,155
THAT'S WHY I'D LIKE TO GIVE
THIS BEAUTIFUL BIKE
472
00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:17,802
TO SOMEONE
WHO REALLY INSPIRED ME,
473
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:20,397
MY BEST FRIEND, LACY.
474
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,630
SHE DESERVES IT.
475
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:27,971
- THANKS, BUDDY.
I MISSED YOU.
476
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:32,814
[applause]
477
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,182
- YOU KNOW, THERE'S
SOMETHING I NEVER TOLD YOU
478
00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:36,451
ABOUT THAT CONTEST
WE HAD 20 YEARS AGO.
479
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:39,319
I NEVER SAID "CONGRATULATIONS."
480
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:41,619
- AND THERE'S SOMETHING
I NEVER SAID
481
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:45,291
FOR THE PAST 20 YEARS.
482
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:46,732
I KNOW YOU'RE NOT THE ONE
WHO BROKE MY BIKE
483
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:50,496
BECAUSE I'M THE ONE
WHO BROKE MY BIKE.
484
00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:52,997
IT'S JUST--MOM AND DAD
WERE MORE CONCERNED
485
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:54,329
ABOUT HOW YOU WOULD FEEL
LOSING THE CONTEST
486
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,574
THAN THEY WERE HAPPY FOR ME
WINNING IT.
487
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:58,869
THAT'S WHY I BROKE MY BIKE
AND BLAMED YOU,
488
00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:00,711
BECAUSE I WANTED THEM
TO BE MAD AT YOU
489
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:03,677
AND FEEL SORRY FOR ME.
490
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,881
- I KNOW.
491
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,279
I KNEW ALL ALONG.
492
00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:10,581
- WOW.
493
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,253
WOW.
WOW.
494
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:15,092
YOU JUST COULDN'T LET ME HAVE MY
NICE CONFESSIONAL MOMENT,
495
00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:16,087
COULD YOU?
496
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,218
YOU HAD TO TOP ME.
497
00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:18,264
- WHAT?
- "OH, I KNEW THE WHOLE TIME."
498
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:19,388
- IT'S THE TRUTH.
499
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:20,432
- YOU THINK
YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME.
500
00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:21,557
- I DON'T THINK--
501
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:22,601
- YOU THINK
YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME.
502
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:23,725
- I DON'T THINK--
503
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:24,800
- YOU THINK
YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME.
504
00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:26,427
- ALL RIGHT,
I'M BETTER THAN YOU.
505
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:27,703
- YOU'RE NOT BETTER--
YOU ARE NOT BETTER--
506
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,870
- HEY,
WHAT IS GOING ON OVER HERE?
507
00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:30,869
- NOTHING.
- IT'S ALL COOL.
508
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,040
WE'RE GOOD.
509
00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:33,608
- STRAIGHTENING UP
YOUR UNCLE'S SHIRT.
510
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:36,236
MAKING SURE WE'RE A BROTHER
AND SISTER WHO LOVE EACH OTHER.
511
00:19:36,243 --> 00:19:37,283
WE LOVE EACH OTHER!
512
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:38,677
HA-HA!
I LOVE HIM.
513
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:41,148
I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.
514
00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:43,077
[grunting]
515
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:51,257
- WELL, IT TOOK TWO HOURS
AND A POUND OF DOGGY LAXATIVES,
516
00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:52,928
BUT HE FINALLY GAVE UP MY RING.
517
00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:55,355
TURNS OUT HAPPY
LIKES TO EAT SHINY THINGS.
518
00:19:58,631 --> 00:19:59,831
ANY OF THIS STUFF YOURS?
519
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:02,002
- NOTHING I WANT ANYMORE.
520
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:05,341
- I DON'T EVEN WANT
THAT COFFEE TABLE ANYMORE.
521
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:07,868
- I REALIZED I'M NOT READY FOR
ANOTHER SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP.
522
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:09,784
- SO WHAT, YOU'RE
JUST GONNA GET RID OF HIM?
523
00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:12,076
- THEY FOUND HIM A HOME
WITH A HUGE YARD.
524
00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:14,308
HAPPY WILL BE HAPPIER.
525
00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:15,384
THEY'RE GONNA
SWING BY ANY MINUTE.
526
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:17,122
I'M JUST WAITING
FOR THEIR CALL.
527
00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:21,046
[cell phone ringing]
528
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:38,867
[ringing continues]
529
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:40,711
I'M GONNA LET IT
GO TO VOICEMAIL.
35912
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