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1
00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:21,316
[loud whirring]
2
00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:27,158
- OH, YEAH.
3
00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:28,701
HERE TO COMES.
YEP!
4
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:36,595
MM!
5
00:00:36,604 --> 00:00:39,044
THANK YOU, CHIPS DRONE!
6
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,469
AND TO THINK,
ALL THIS TIME
7
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,484
I'VE BEEN CARRYING MY FOOD
LIKE A DUMBASS.
8
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:45,176
- UNCLE VINNIE, I CAN'T BELIEVE
WHAT I FOUND IN YOUR CLOSET!
9
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:46,179
- NO!
10
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:47,620
NO!
HEY!
11
00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:48,945
THAT'S NOT MINE.
12
00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:50,949
THAT'S--I'M HOLDING THAT
FOR A FRIEND.
13
00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:52,721
IT CAME WITH THE APARTMENT!
14
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,390
WHAT THING ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
15
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,388
YOU KNOW WHAT?
GET OUT OF MY CLOSET!
16
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,360
- IT'S JUST AN OLD MAGIC KIT.
17
00:00:58,359 --> 00:00:59,759
CAN I PLAY WITH IT?
18
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,760
- DUDE, MAGIC SUCKS.
19
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:04,232
ALL MAGICIANS LEAD SAD,
CRAPPY LIVES.
20
00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:07,002
NAME A MAGICIAN,
I'LL TELL YOU HIS TRAGIC END.
21
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,440
HOUDINI: DEAD.
22
00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:10,166
BLACKSTONE: DEAD.
23
00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:11,171
DEADSTONE...
24
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:12,242
- DEAD?
25
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,840
- WORSE.
RENO.
26
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:15,982
- HEY-HO!
27
00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:18,746
I BROUGHT DINNER,
CARE OF CHEF FELIP.
28
00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:20,046
- WHO IS CHEF FELIP?
29
00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:21,547
- HE'S A PRIVATE CHEF
I'M REPRESENTING
30
00:01:21,549 --> 00:01:25,749
IN A TOTALLY BASELESS
FOOD POISONING CASE.
31
00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:28,623
YOU KNOW,
LET'S JUST ORDER CHINESE.
32
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,992
- COME ON, UNCLE VINNIE,
LET ME HAVE THE MAGIC SET.
33
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:32,031
- NO.
34
00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:33,685
MAGIC WILL BE
JUST ANOTHER EXCUSE
35
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,304
FOR YOU TO BE INSIDE AND ALONE.
36
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:38,496
- SAYS THE FORMER TETRIS
CHAMPION OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.
37
00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:40,029
- HEY!
38
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:43,073
AT LEAST THAT HAS
SOME REAL-WORLD APPLICATIONS.
39
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:45,940
YOU EVER SEEN ME
PACK THE CAR FOR A TRIP?
40
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,979
YOU NEED TO GET OUTSIDE,
MEET KIDS.
41
00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:50,936
I'M OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW
THAT PEOPLE ARE HORRIBLE.
42
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:53,754
YOU NEED TO FIND THAT OUT
FOR YOURSELF.
43
00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:56,947
NOW GET OUTSIDE
AND TOSS THAT BALL AROUND.
44
00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:03,562
WHOA, WHOA!
HEY!
45
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,057
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
GIVE ME THAT.
46
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:06,688
THIS IS SIGNED BY ELWAY.
47
00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:07,934
JEEZ.
48
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,358
NOW GET OUTSIDE
AND TOSS THAT CASE AROUND.
49
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,000
[quirky brass music]
50
00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:17,003
*
51
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:19,014
- * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
52
00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:20,806
- * NEVER FELT SO GOOD
53
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,938
- * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
54
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:25,713
- * NEVER FELT SO GOOD
55
00:02:25,713 --> 00:02:27,653
- * SO WAIT A MINUTE
56
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:28,648
* HEY
57
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,079
* I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
58
00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:37,234
- IT'S BACK.
59
00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:38,225
TA-DA!
60
00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:39,826
- WOW.
61
00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:42,597
- AND NOW...
62
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:43,596
IT'S GONE AGAIN.
63
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:45,927
- THAT'S REALLY GREAT, WENDELL.
64
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:48,603
- NO, I'VE ACTUALLY LOST IT.
65
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:52,705
- WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR?
66
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:54,576
- THE BALL
FROM MY BALL AND VASE TRICK.
67
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:55,575
- UGH.
68
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,376
STILL ON THE MAGIC THING, HUH?
69
00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:59,248
- I ORDERED A MAGIC SET ONLINE.
70
00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:02,377
I PAID FOR STANDARD SHIPPING,
BUT IT GOT HERE OVERNIGHT.
71
00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:05,493
SEE, IT'S ALREADY MAGIC.
72
00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:07,286
- MAGIC IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE.
73
00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:08,658
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,
74
00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:10,556
YOU'VE GOT A TWO-PACK-A-DAY
PLAYING CARD HABIT,
75
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,028
YOU'VE GOT
A RABBIT IN YOUR COAT,
76
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,495
MILK IN YOUR HAT, AND YOU DON'T
KNOW WHO YOU ARE ANYMORE.
77
00:03:14,495 --> 00:03:15,695
I DON'T KNOW
IF I'VE MADE MYSELF CLEAR,
78
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:18,466
BUT I REALLY DON'T LIKE MAGIC.
79
00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:19,726
- HE'S GOTTEN REALLY GOOD.
80
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,843
HE'S BEEN DOING MAGIC FOR ME
ALL AFTERNOON.
81
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:24,465
- HOW'S THAT JOB HUNT GOING?
82
00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:27,544
- DO THE CARD TRICK AGAIN.
83
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,611
- HE REALLY DOESN'T HAVE TO.
84
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:31,280
I ALREADY KNOW HOW IT ENDS.
85
00:03:31,279 --> 00:03:34,649
"IS THIS YOUR CARD?"
"WHOA."
86
00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:36,548
MY FEAR IS THAT
HE'S GONNA WASTE HIS LIFE
87
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,320
PRACTICING THESE DUMB TRICKS
88
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:40,789
WHEN HE COULD BE OUT DOING
NORMAL, COOL-KID THINGS.
89
00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:43,158
- HE COULD ALSO BE OUT THERE
HARASSING PEOPLE,
90
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:45,326
GETTING INTO TROUBLE,
HANGING WITH THE WRONG CROWD.
91
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:48,496
- RIGHT!
COOL-KID THINGS.
92
00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:50,396
LOOK, HOW IS HE EVER GONNA
DEVELOP THE SKILLS HE NEEDS
93
00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:51,798
TO MEET GIRLS?
94
00:03:51,799 --> 00:03:56,169
- WHAT WOMAN COULD RESIST
THE DISAPPEARING COIN TRICK?
95
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:57,309
- ALL OF THE WOMEN.
96
00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:58,365
ALL OF THEM.
97
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:06,575
- NOW, WATCH CAREFULLY
AS THE YELLOW SILK...
98
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:09,750
DISAPPEARS.
99
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,550
- [gasps]
OOH.
100
00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:13,152
- WHERE COULD IT BE?
101
00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:15,593
PERHAPS IN HERE?
102
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:18,759
- AH.
103
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:19,929
- TA-DA!
104
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:22,797
- WOW.
THAT IS VERY IMPRESSIVE.
105
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,326
VINNIE, YOU SHOULD
SEE THIS TRICK HE JUST DID.
106
00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:26,032
I MEAN, HE'S ACTUALLY
GETTING REALLY GOOD.
107
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:30,073
- YEAH, BUT AT MAGIC,
WHICH IS DUMB.
108
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:32,340
I GOT HIM SOMETHING HE CAN
REALLY GET EXCITED ABOUT.
109
00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:33,640
- [gasps]
AN IRONING BOARD!
110
00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:36,141
YES!
- NO!
111
00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:37,513
IT'S A SURF TRAINER.
112
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:39,411
I SIGNED YOU UP
FOR SURF CLASS.
113
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:40,813
- SURFING?
- HA!
114
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:42,154
- HAVE YOU MET ME?
115
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:45,349
I'M THE KID WHO THROWS UP
ON THE MOVING SIDEWALKS.
116
00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:46,993
LOOK, I'M NOT
LEARNING HOW TO SURF.
117
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:49,157
WE SPENT
HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF YEARS
118
00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:50,486
DRAGGING OURSELVES
OUT OF THE OCEAN,
119
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,131
AND NOW YOU WANT ME
TO GET BACK IN?
120
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,695
IT'S A SLAP IN THE FACE
TO OUR MONKEY ANCESTORS.
121
00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:57,025
- WELL, YOU'RE GOING.
FIRST CLASS IS TOMORROW.
122
00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:59,000
NO ARGUMENTS.
123
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,369
- OOH.
I'LL TAKE YOU.
124
00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:02,438
AND I WILL NOT LET
ANYTHING BAD HAPPEN TO YOU
125
00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:05,906
BECAUSE IT WOULD BE
VERY EMBARRASSING FOR ME.
126
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:07,406
- OH, AND HEY,
127
00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:09,738
I SAW THERE WERE A COUPLE GIRLS
IN YOUR CLASS.
128
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,783
MIGHT BE WEARING BIKINIS,
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
129
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:13,549
- SKIN CANCER?
130
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:15,747
- PLEASE,
LET'S JUST TAKE A LITTLE BREAK
131
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,949
FROM THE TRICKS
FOR A LITTLE WHILE, OKAY?
132
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:20,851
- I DON'T GET IT.
WHY ARE YOU SO AGAINST MAGIC?
133
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:22,164
- I WOULD
JUST RATHER YOU FOCUS
134
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:25,085
ON SOME HEALTHY ACTIVITIES
FOR ONCE, ALL RIGHT?
135
00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:26,592
- OH!
136
00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:27,864
- AH!
137
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,761
UGH.
138
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,433
AH!
139
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:32,932
THERE'S NO COFFEE TABLES
IN THE WATER.
140
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:35,443
YOU'LL BE FINE.
141
00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:40,265
- OUR NEXT PERFORMER
IS A DELIGHTFUL SURPRISE.
142
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:43,743
HE'S ONLY 15, BUT HE'S ALREADY
FULL OF BRIGHT IDEAS.
143
00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:48,424
PLEASE WELCOME VINNIE BASSET AND
HIS AMAZING FLOATING LIGHT BULB.
144
00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:33,958
[glass shatters]
145
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:36,901
[audience booing]
146
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:45,242
[booing continues]
147
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,010
- AH!
148
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:54,351
[breathing heavily]
149
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:57,277
[sobbing]
150
00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:01,987
- THANK YOU,
THANK YOU,
151
00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:05,059
CLASSMATES, FACULTY,
MR. PRESIDENT.
152
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:09,728
AND I ASSURE YOU, THIS IS NOT
WITCHCRAFT, YOUR HOLINESS.
153
00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:12,230
AND NOW FOR MY GRAND FINALE,
154
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:15,502
I WILL MAKE THIS EGG
DISAPPEAR INTO THIN AIR.
155
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:25,013
- WENDELL,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
156
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:26,512
IT'S WAY PAST YOUR BEDTIME.
157
00:07:26,514 --> 00:07:29,554
LISTEN, I DON'T HAVE MANY RULES,
BUT BEDTIME IS ONE OF THEM.
158
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,520
YOU SHOULD KNOW.
YOU MADE ME MAKE IT.
159
00:07:31,519 --> 00:07:34,619
- BUT I JUST NEED TO GET
THIS RIGHT FOR THE TALENT SHOW.
160
00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:35,862
- TALENT SHOW?
161
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:37,416
WAIT, I THOUGHT
YOU WERE GONNA RECITE PI
162
00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:40,694
UNTIL THEY BOOED YOU
OFF THE STAGE.
163
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:43,864
- THAT WAS BEFORE I STARTED
DABBLING IN THE BLACK ARTS.
164
00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,274
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
NO WAY.
165
00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:46,365
THIS IS A BAD IDEA.
166
00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:47,996
I AM PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN.
167
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,271
- WHY ARE YOU BEING
SO DRACONIAN ABOUT THIS?
168
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:53,440
- STOP USING WORDS
YOU KNOW I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
169
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,810
YOU KNOW,
I'M MAKING THAT A NEW RULE.
170
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:55,878
HOW MANY IS THAT?
171
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:57,806
- TWO.
- YEAH.
172
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,081
- YOU KNOW, EVER SINCE
I DISCOVERED MAGIC,
173
00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:01,379
YOU'VE BEEN ACTING
LIKE A REAL DUMB-BAG.
174
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:02,681
- DUMB-BAG?
175
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,083
I'M JUST TRYING TO SAVE YOU
176
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:06,054
FROM A LOT OF PAIN
AND HEARTACHE.
177
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:08,463
- YOU JUST THINK MAGIC IS NERDY
AND I WON'T GET GIRLS.
178
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:09,615
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW,
179
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:11,663
DAVID COPPERFIELD
GOT CLAUDIA SCHIFFER.
180
00:08:11,659 --> 00:08:16,329
AND... WELL, DAVID COPPERFIELD
GOT CLAUDIA SCHIFFER.
181
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,599
- I DON'T CARE.
182
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:19,568
YOU'RE DISOBEYING
BOTH MY RULES.
183
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:21,127
TOMORROW,
YOU'RE GOING SURFING,
184
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:23,574
AND I'M BANNING MAGIC
FROM THIS HOUSE.
185
00:08:23,571 --> 00:08:24,741
- WHAT?
YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
186
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:25,908
- YEAH, DID IT.
187
00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:27,436
STOP ACTING
LIKE IT'S SUCH A BIG DEAL.
188
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,710
- BUT YOU'RE NOT A MAGICIAN.
YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
189
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,280
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT
IT FEELS LIKE TO FILL PEOPLE
190
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:33,578
WITH A SENSE
OF WONDER AND AWE.
191
00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:38,494
- OH, DON'T I?
192
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:56,501
- I KIND OF REMEMBER HIM
DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
193
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,073
I WASN'T PAYING MUCH ATTENTION.
194
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:01,041
THAT WAS THE SUMMER THAT
THE GREAT MAGICIAN PUBERTINI
195
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,911
MADE MY BREASTS APPEAR.
196
00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:04,310
POOF.
197
00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:06,753
- [gasps]
198
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:09,477
THIS IS IT,
HOLLYWOOD HOCUS-POCUS,
199
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:11,482
CALIFORNIA'S
MECCA OF MAGIC.
200
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:12,794
THANKS
FOR SNEAKING ME OVER HERE.
201
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:14,716
I KNOW YOU REALLY WANTED
TO CHECK OUT THE LIFEGUARDS
202
00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:15,722
AT THAT SURF CLASS.
203
00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:17,023
- AH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, KID.
204
00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:19,764
I'VE SEEN PLENTY
OF HANDSOME MAGICIANS ON TV.
205
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:28,138
GUESS WE'RE NOT ON TV.
206
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:31,435
WELL, I SUPPOSE
I CAN PUT THESE GUYS AWAY.
207
00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:32,468
UGH.
208
00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:37,651
- THIS PLACE IS EVERYTHING
I'VE EVER DREAMED OF.
209
00:09:37,645 --> 00:09:39,975
- OH, THAT'S GREAT.
210
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:45,720
IN THE FUTURE, WE SHOULD WORK ON
RAISING THE BAR ON YOUR DREAMS.
211
00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:47,659
- IT'S THE BEST
FLASH PAPER EVER MADE,
212
00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:50,815
FROM THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC.
213
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,164
- WHOA.
214
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,429
AWESOME.
215
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,226
- MY NEPHEW'S
THE ONLY ONE IN THAT GROUP
216
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:56,928
THAT DOESN'T
LOOK LIKE A TOTAL LOSER.
217
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,900
AM I RIGHT?
218
00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:00,969
[both gasp]
219
00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:02,238
- YOU.
220
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,935
- AZIZ, YOU WORK HERE?
221
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,007
- I OWN THIS PLACE.
222
00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:07,405
AND I MANAGE A STARBUCKS
ON THE WEEKENDS.
223
00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:10,707
- WAIT, IN YOUR DATING PROFILE,
YOU SAY THAT YOU'RE A DENTIST.
224
00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:13,411
- WHEN I LISTED MY PROFESSION
AS "MAGICIAN/BARISTA,"
225
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,353
I GOT ZERO REPLIES.
226
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:16,718
- SO YOU JUST LIED?
227
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:17,717
- IN YOUR DATING PROFILE,
228
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,888
YOU SAID
YOU WERE PERSIAN AND 26.
229
00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:23,357
WHO WAS ATTEMPTING
THE GREATER ILLUSION?
230
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:29,358
- WHOA.
- OH.
231
00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:31,402
- WHAT?
THAT'S CRAZY.
232
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:37,241
- WHAT?
NO WAY.
233
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,807
- AUNT WILMA,
I WANT THIS ONE.
234
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,707
- $450.
235
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:43,609
- DO YOU HAVE
A HOT CHICK DISCOUNT?
236
00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:45,650
- YES.
- THEN HOW MUCH?
237
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,005
- $450.
238
00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:48,654
- OKAY.
239
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:54,550
COME ON.
240
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:56,564
YOU LOOK GREAT,
LIKE A REAL SURFER.
241
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:03,633
EH?
242
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:07,770
- WHAT ABOUT THE SPOT
WHERE YOU RAN OUT OF BRONZER?
243
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:10,538
- WHAT SPOT?
244
00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:12,067
ALL RIGHT, LOOK,
NO ONE'S GONNA NOTICE.
245
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:13,342
HERE.
246
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,910
PUT YOUR HAND RIGHT HERE.
EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.
247
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:16,408
- YOU REALLY THINK
THIS LOOKS NATURAL?
248
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:17,579
- YES.
249
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:19,077
IT LOOKS LIKE YOU SPENT
A LONG DAY AT THE BEACH.
250
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:20,749
DON'T FORGET TO USE
YOUR SURFING TERMS.
251
00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:23,378
- MAHALO, BRO.
I'M NO BARNEY.
252
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:25,053
- OH, YOU CAN DO THIS.
253
00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:26,222
I LOVE YOU.
254
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:27,489
- WAIT, YOU'RE NOT
GOING IN WITH ME?
255
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:28,487
- OH, NO.
NO, NO.
256
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:29,488
THIS COULD GO TERRIBLY WRONG.
257
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:31,459
I NEED DENIABILITY.
258
00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:32,758
- [sighs]
259
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,130
- DON'T SWEAT IT.
260
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:37,897
NO, LITERALLY DON'T.
YOUR TAN WILL DRIP RIGHT OFF.
261
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,328
- I'M GOING IN.
262
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:40,502
- WHAT'S WITH WENDELL?
263
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:44,340
- IT'S HIS FIRST BIG LIE.
264
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:46,237
GOD, I'M SO PROUD OF HIM.
265
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,140
- HEY, WENDELL.
266
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:50,542
- HEY, VINNIE.
267
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:54,013
JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW,
SURF SCHOOL WAS TOTALLY AWESOME.
268
00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:58,124
I ABSOLUTELY SHREDDED IT
OLD-SCHOOL, DUDE.
269
00:11:58,118 --> 00:11:59,518
- AH-AH-AH-AH.
270
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:00,589
COME HERE.
271
00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:01,787
THAT'S AWESOME.
I'M SO HAPPY.
272
00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:02,789
COME HERE.
COME HERE.
273
00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:04,220
- OKAY.
274
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:11,827
- IS THERE ANY PARTICULAR REASON
YOU LOOK LIKE A THUNDERCAT?
275
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:14,802
- WHAT?
IT WAS SUNNY.
276
00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,902
- WHAT ABOUT THIS SPOT?
277
00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:19,814
- WHAT?
IT WAS PARTLY CLOUDY.
278
00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:21,367
- AND WHAT'S THIS?
279
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:38,826
YOU DIDN'T GO SURFING AT ALL.
280
00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:40,186
YOU WERE MAGICKING.
281
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:43,833
- WHAT?
THAT'S REDONKULOUS.
282
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,570
OKAY, FINE.
283
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:50,568
AUNT WILMA TOOK ME
TO HOLLYWOOD HOCUS-POCUS.
284
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:52,740
IT WAS ONE OF THE BEST DAYS
OF MY LIFE.
285
00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:54,039
- YOU LIED TO ME.
286
00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:55,481
- MAYBE I FELT LIKE
I HAD TO.
287
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:57,305
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM
WITH ALL THIS ANYWAYS?
288
00:12:57,310 --> 00:13:00,250
- OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU.
289
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:02,847
I WON A COMPETITION
AT MAGIC CAMP
290
00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:06,050
AND WAS INVITED TO PERFORM AT
THE ANNUAL MAGICIAN'S JUBILEE.
291
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:08,963
IT WAS GONNA BE MY LAUNCHING PAD
TO AN AMAZING CAREER.
292
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,086
ALL THE TOP PEOPLE WERE THERE,
293
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:14,531
ARNIE THE AMAZING,
UNCANNY DARREL,
294
00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:18,427
DAVE THE MAGNIFICENT,
GREG THE MAGNIFICENT,
295
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:22,041
JOHN THE MAGNIFICENT,
AND PHIL
296
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:23,365
- THE MAGNIFICENT?
297
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:25,870
- NO, HE WASN'T AS GOOD
AS THE OTHERS.
298
00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:28,513
ANYWAY, IT WAS MY BIG CHANCE.
299
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,638
AND IT WAS AN EPIC FAIL.
300
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,583
- IT COULDN'T
HAVE BEEN THAT BAD.
301
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:34,179
- HA-HA.
OH, YEAH.
302
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:37,551
MERLIN THE MIME
BROKE A 35-YEAR VOW OF SILENCE
303
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,890
JUST TO BOO ME
OFF THE STAGE.
304
00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:42,957
HE WAS SO ANGRY,
JUST RANTING ON AND ON
305
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:44,386
AND STARTED SOBBING.
306
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:48,001
IN RETROSPECT, I THINK
IT WAS ABOUT MORE THAN JUST ME.
307
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:50,055
THE POINT IS,
IT SCARRED ME FOR LIFE.
308
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:51,433
AND I'M GONNA SAVE YOU
FROM THAT.
309
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:52,571
- WELL, WHO ASKED YOU TO?
310
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:54,125
- WELL, I WISH SOMEBODY
HAD DONE IT FOR ME.
311
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:55,674
- WELL, I'M NOT YOU.
312
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,468
AND I'M STILL DOING A MAGIC ACT
FOR THE TALENT SHOW TOMORROW.
313
00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:58,470
- OH, YEAH?
314
00:13:58,471 --> 00:14:00,071
WELL, I WON'T BE THERE
315
00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:03,043
TO WATCH YOU FALL
ON YOUR COLLAPSIBLE SWORD.
316
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:06,253
- WELL, GOOD.
I DON'T WANT YOU THERE.
317
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:09,276
NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I HAVE SOME IRONING TO DO.
318
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:19,156
- SIT DOWN.
319
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:20,929
NOT THERE.
320
00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:23,298
HERE.
321
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:26,066
I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOUR LITTLE
FIELD TRIP TO THE MAGIC STORE.
322
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,266
I'M GONNA GIVE YOU
A PIECE OF MY MIND,
323
00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:29,638
AND I DON'T WANT YOU
RUNNING AWAY.
324
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:33,236
SO SIT IN THE SHAME SACK.
325
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,740
- ISN'T THAT WHAT GRANDMA
USED TO CALL YOUR--
326
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:35,941
- SIT DOWN!
JUST...
327
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,583
- OKAY.
328
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:45,417
LOOK,
I KNOW THAT YOU'RE ANGRY,
329
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:46,618
BUT DON'T YOU THINK
YOU'RE BLOWING THIS
330
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:47,959
A LITTLE OUT OF PROPORTION?
331
00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:52,055
- I'M THE GUARDIAN,
NOT YOU.
332
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,559
I HAVE TO BE ABLE
TO MAKE RULES.
333
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,660
- YEAH,
BUT NOT STUPID ONES.
334
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,632
YOU BETTER JUMP ON BOARD
THIS MAGIC TRAIN SOON
335
00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:58,970
OR YOU'RE GONNA LOSE HIM.
336
00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:01,426
DON'T SCREW THIS BOY UP
THE WAY OUR PARENTS DID ME.
337
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,844
- OH, GOD, STOP BLAMING MOM
AND DAD FOR ALL YOUR PROBLEMS.
338
00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:06,237
JUST MOVE ON.
339
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:09,539
- YOU LISTEN TO ME, YOU...
340
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:11,342
YOU LISTEN TO ME.
341
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,884
GOD, I HATE THIS THING!
342
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,020
LOOK, YOU KNOW
AS WELL AS I DO
343
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:17,676
THAT MOM AND DAD APPLAUDED
344
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:18,994
EVERY TIME
YOU SO MUCH AS FARTED,
345
00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:20,686
AND I GOT NO ENCOURAGEMENT.
346
00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:22,157
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
347
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:23,485
THEY SENT YOU TO LAW SCHOOL.
348
00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:26,260
- THAT IS--
THAT'S NOT THE...
349
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,529
THAT'S NOT THE...
350
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,998
UGH.
351
00:15:30,998 --> 00:15:32,268
AH.
352
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,995
[grunting]
353
00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:36,702
[breathing heavily]
354
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:39,813
AHA.
355
00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:42,736
THAT IS NOT THE POINT, OKAY?
356
00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:44,412
YOU NEED TO SUPPORT WENDELL.
357
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:45,711
IF HE WANTS TO BE A MAGICIAN,
358
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:49,682
THEN YOU HELP HIM BE
ONE OF THE VERY FEW COOL ONES.
359
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,782
- I'M JUST TRYING
TO PROTECT HIM.
360
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:54,624
DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED
TO ME AT THE MAGICIAN'S JUBILEE?
361
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:58,031
- STOP BLAMING MERLIN THE MIME
FOR ALL YOUR PROBLEMS.
362
00:15:58,025 --> 00:15:59,625
MOVE ON.
363
00:16:03,863 --> 00:16:08,203
ALL RIGHT, LOOK...
364
00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:09,701
THIS IS ABOUT WENDELL.
365
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:15,612
YOUR JOB ISN'T TO PREVENT HIM
FROM FALLING DOWN.
366
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,438
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS PICK HIM UP WHEN HE DOES.
367
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:24,154
- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU REMEMBERED
MERLIN THE MIME.
368
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:26,651
- OH, MY GOD.
HE WAS SO PISSED.
369
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:34,692
- THANKS FOR BEING MY ASSISTANT,
TARYN.
370
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,104
LACY WAS GONNA DO IT,
BUT THEN SHE SAID
371
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:37,256
SHE DIDN'T WANT
TO LOOK RIDICULOUS
372
00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:39,204
IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL.
373
00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:40,769
- NO PROBLEM.
374
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:44,237
THIS IS THE CLOSEST THING I'VE
HAD TO A JOB SINCE I GOT HERE.
375
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:46,067
BY THE WAY,
CAN I LIST YOU AS A REFERENCE?
376
00:16:46,073 --> 00:16:48,783
- WE'LL SEE
HOW THE TRICK PLAYS.
377
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,582
I'M GLAD HER COSTUME FITS YOU.
378
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:52,978
- BARELY.
379
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:55,179
- ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SIT
CROSS-LEGGED ON THIS TABLE.
380
00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:57,222
I'LL MAKE YOU FLOAT,
SLOWLY SPIN YOU AROUND,
381
00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:58,847
THEN PASS A HOOP OVER YOU.
382
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:02,291
THEN FOR MY BIG FINISH, A HUGE
WAD OF DOMINICAN FLASH PAPER.
383
00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:04,289
- WOW.
THAT'S INCREDIBLE.
384
00:17:04,291 --> 00:17:06,661
YOU SURE THAT THING
CAN HOLD ME?
385
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:08,829
- YOU SHOULD BE FINE.
386
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:10,998
YOU DIDN'T HAVE
A BIG LUNCH TODAY, DID YOU?
387
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,944
- BY THE WAY,
WHERE'S VINNIE?
388
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:17,535
- OH, HE DOESN'T
BELIEVE IN MAGIC.
389
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,867
AND MORE TO THE POINT,
HE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN ME.
390
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:22,182
- OH, I'M SURE
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
391
00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:24,475
- WENDELL BASSET AND...
392
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:25,407
LITTLE ASSISTANT.
393
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,350
YOU'RE NEXT.
394
00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:29,618
BUT WE'RE NOT EXACTLY SURE
395
00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:31,946
WHEN RODOLFO THE WONDER JUGGLER
WILL BE DONE.
396
00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:37,323
- HE'S PROBABLY DONE.
397
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:39,134
- YEAH.
398
00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:40,426
[applause]
399
00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:42,997
- HEY, HOW ABOUT MOST
OF THAT JUGGLING ACT, HUH?
400
00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:45,995
[applause]
401
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:50,598
AND NOW THE SPECTACULAR MAGIC
OF WENDELL BASSET.
402
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,313
[applause]
403
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:53,735
- YEAH!
404
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:54,670
WENDELL!
405
00:17:57,177 --> 00:18:00,707
[cat calls]
406
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:25,510
- WHOA.
407
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:27,205
[applause]
408
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:34,181
[audience oohs]
409
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,085
- [gasps]
410
00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:42,716
[applause]
411
00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:43,822
- YEAH!
412
00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:53,827
GUYS, HE IS ROTATING HER.
413
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,303
HE IS ROTATING HER RIGHT NOW.
414
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:57,473
- WAY TO GO, WENDELL!
415
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,470
YES!
416
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:01,041
- VINNIE'S HERE.
417
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,940
[creaking]
418
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:05,212
thud!
419
00:19:05,212 --> 00:19:06,412
[loud tearing]
420
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:09,653
[audience gasps]
421
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:12,949
[cheers and applause]
422
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:16,722
- OVER HERE.
BIG FINISH OVER HERE.
423
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,833
I GIVE YOU FIRE.
424
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:24,130
I GIVE YOU FIRE.
425
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:39,878
TA-DA!
426
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:43,719
[cheers and applause]
427
00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:52,356
- HER TOP CAME OFF
AND THERE WAS A FIRE.
428
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,489
- THE BEST TALENT SHOW EVER.
429
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:55,634
- YEAH.
430
00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:58,158
- THAT'S MY WENDELL!
431
00:19:58,164 --> 00:19:59,174
THAT'S MY BOY!
432
00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:00,425
- YEAH!
- WHOO!
433
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:07,966
- WE WANT A REFUND.
434
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,314
- I'M VERY SORRY.
435
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:11,379
THE MOST VALUABLE PORTION
OF ANY SALE WE MAKE
436
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,108
IS THE SECRET
OF THE ILLUSION
437
00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:14,712
NOT THE PHYSICAL PROP.
438
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,824
NO REFUNDS.
439
00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:19,186
- BUT I FOUND THIS
WITH THE INSTRUCTIONS,
440
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:20,685
A LIFETIME WARRANTY.
441
00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:22,357
- LET ME SEE THAT.
442
00:20:28,295 --> 00:20:31,095
WHAT WARRANTY?
443
00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:32,667
- THAT WAS AMAZING.
I HAVE A TRICK TOO.
444
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,995
GUESS WHICH HAND
THE LAWSUIT'S IN.
30350
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