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1
00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:11,611
- YEP.
2
00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:13,212
[laughs]
3
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:14,984
WENDELL, COME LOOK.
4
00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:16,583
- CAN'T.
HOMEWORK.
5
00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:18,454
- OH, COME ON.
IT'S A BOX!
6
00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:19,922
IT'S A MYSTERY!
7
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,260
WHO DOESN'T LOVE
A MYSTERY?
8
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,685
- CHILDREN WITH PRIORITIES.
9
00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:28,058
[pencil snaps]
10
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:30,803
- WENDELL, COME LOOK!
11
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,243
- HOPE THERE'S A PENCIL
IN THAT BOX.
12
00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:37,813
- BEHOLD:
THE GREATEST PIECE OF ART
13
00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:39,705
YOU'LL EVER SEE
IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.
14
00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:41,107
- A REMBRANDT?
15
00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:42,109
- BETTER.
16
00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:43,540
- KANDINSKY,
DUERER,
17
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:44,554
VAN NECK?
18
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,205
- NOW YOU'RE JUST MAKING SOUNDS.
19
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,585
TA-DA!
20
00:00:54,955 --> 00:00:57,385
- IT'S LUKE SKYWALKER'S
ACTUAL LIGHTSABER
21
00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:59,261
FROM THE FIRST STAR WARS!
22
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,360
- NEVER SAW THAT MOVIE.
23
00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:02,832
- WHAT?
24
00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:06,530
THAT'S LIKE SAYING
YOU'VE NEVER SEEN STAR WARS.
25
00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:10,866
THE LIGHTSABER
IS THE SINGLE GREATEST PROP
26
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,871
FROM ANY MOVIE EVER.
27
00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:15,513
IT IS THE HOLY GRAIL
OF COLLECTIBLES.
28
00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:18,609
- EXCEPT FOR THE ACTUAL
HOLY GRAIL.
29
00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,612
IT'S JUST A DUMB PROP
FROM A SPACE MOVIE.
30
00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:25,354
- THE LIGHTSABER
REPRESENTS REVELATION.
31
00:01:26,987 --> 00:01:29,287
A JOURNEY TO YOUR DESTINY.
32
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:31,360
IT'S A SYMBOL
OF THE COLLECTIVE GOOD.
33
00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:34,429
- WOW, YOU'RE A LOT DEEPER
THAN I GAVE YOU CREDIT FOR.
34
00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,158
- IT ALSO LASERS PEOPLE IN HALF.
35
00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:37,500
[makes buzzing noise]
36
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,998
- WELL, CAN I PLAY WITH IT?
37
00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:41,798
- FINALLY!
38
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:43,872
THE FIRST NORMAL KID THING
YOU'VE SAID,
39
00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:46,971
AND NO, YOU CAN NEVER, EVER,
EVER PLAY WITH IT EVER.
40
00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:52,177
[quirky brass music]
41
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:53,180
*
42
00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:55,221
- * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
43
00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:56,976
- * NEVER FELT SO GOOD
44
00:01:57,084 --> 00:01:59,194
- * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
45
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:01,960
- * NEVER FELT SO GOOD
46
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,885
- * SO WAIT A MINUTE
47
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:04,891
* HEY
48
00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:07,832
* I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
49
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,230
- OH, MY--
50
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,068
WHAT THE--
51
00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:18,044
HEY, NEW GUY WHO THINKS
IT'S OKAY
52
00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:19,866
TO LEAVE YOUR BOXES EVERYWHERE,
53
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:20,873
COME OUT OF THERE!
54
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,084
I GOT WORDS FOR YOU!
55
00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:23,740
WORDS!
56
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:26,954
AND THOSE WORDS ARE,
"HELLO, YOU."
57
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:28,547
- OH, GOD, YOU TRIPPED
OVER MY STUFF.
58
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,349
I'M SO, SO SORRY.
- NO, NO--NO WORRIES.
59
00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:32,221
NO WORRIES.
I GOT IT.
60
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,750
I'M VINNIE.
61
00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:35,124
5B.
62
00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:36,123
AND YOU'VE MET MY TRASH.
63
00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:37,494
- [laughs]
64
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:39,491
HEY, I'M TARYN.
65
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:40,533
I JUST MOVED FROM TEXAS.
66
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,028
HOUSTON.
RECENTLY DIVORCED.
67
00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:44,399
HE LEFT ME, BUT IT WAS THE BEST
THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME,
68
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,228
WHICH KIND OF MAKES MY LIFE
SOUND PRETTY AWFUL.
69
00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:48,304
WOW, I CAN'T STOP TALKING,
CAN I?
70
00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:49,302
- HEY, YOU KNOW,
71
00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:50,503
MAYBE YOU CAN OVERSHARE WITH ME
72
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:51,874
AT THIS NICE COFFEE SHOP I KNOW.
73
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:53,142
- [laughs]
74
00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:55,111
THANKS, BUT I'M NOT DATING
RIGHT NOW.
75
00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:56,943
- COME ON.
IT'S JUST COFFEE.
76
00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:59,114
IT'S NOT MAKING OUT.
77
00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:00,947
ALTHOUGH IT CAN BE.
78
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:03,048
BUT I'M GONNA NEED COFFEE FIRST.
79
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:04,590
[laughs awkwardly]
80
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,645
- LOOK, YOU'RE NOT MY TYPE.
81
00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:08,024
- NOT YOUR TYPE?
82
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:10,591
- 30 GOING ON 14.
83
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,491
VIDEO GAMES BUT NO DISHES.
84
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,333
CHEESE PUFFS FOR BREAKFAST.
85
00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:15,728
DRIVES A DUMB CAR.
86
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,899
WILLING TO STRING A GIRL ALONG
AND THEN DUMP HER
87
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:20,668
WHEN SHE PRESSES
TO TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL.
88
00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,268
- YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
89
00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:26,644
AND MY THOR-THEMED MINI COOPER
IS NOT DUMB.
90
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:32,753
[children chattering
indistinctly]
91
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,276
- HELLO,
FELLOW MIDDLE SCHOOLERS.
92
00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:36,883
- WHO SAID YOU COULD SIT
AT OUR TABLE?
93
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,924
- I'M JUST TRYING TO EXPAND
MY SOCIAL CIRCLE,
94
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:41,289
BUT IF IT'S NOT COOL,
JUST SAY THE WORD.
95
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:45,663
[all laughing]
96
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:46,929
OR DO THAT.
97
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:49,299
JUST A TIP:
98
00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:51,633
A GENTLEMAN
REMOVES THE STRAW FIRST.
99
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:52,832
- LET'S GO, YOU GUYS.
100
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,403
SOMEBODY STINKS OF DORK.
101
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:55,972
- THAT COULD BE THE PAPAYA.
102
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:01,068
- I'M JEFFY,
AND I'M REALLY GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
103
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:02,084
- REALLY?
104
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:03,305
- TOTALLY.
105
00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:04,984
I'M THE LEAST POPULAR KID
AT SCHOOL,
106
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,148
OR I USED TO BE.
107
00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:09,015
LATER, FREAK!
108
00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:13,819
- MR. BASSET,
MYRON LIPSHITZ,
109
00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,721
HEAD OF THE CONDO ASSOCIATION.
110
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:18,833
- JUNIOR HIGH MUST'VE BEEN
BRUTAL WITH THAT NAME!
111
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:23,860
OR NOT.
I--
112
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:27,404
- IT'S ABOUT THE CONSTANT NOISE
FROM THE VIDEO GAMES.
113
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,771
IT'S TOO MUCH.
114
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,999
[man screaming]
115
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,014
- REALLY?
I DON'T HEAR IT.
116
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,505
- LOOK--
117
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,407
WE WANT OUR QUIET BACK!
118
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:38,009
THIS IS A PETITION
SIGNED BY THE RESIDENTS
119
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,351
DEMANDING YOU TURN IT DOWN
OR LEAVE.
120
00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:41,548
[blasters zapping]
121
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:42,779
- DO YOU KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE?
122
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:43,953
- WHATEVER IT IS,
123
00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:46,421
IT'S A DISAPPOINTMENT
TO YOUR PARENTS.
124
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,456
- THERE WAS AN ACCIDENT
SIX MONTHS AGO.
125
00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:57,232
MY BROTHER AND HIS WIFE
DIDN'T MAKE IT,
126
00:04:57,365 --> 00:05:01,225
AND I GOT CUSTODY OF THEIR SON,
WENDELL.
127
00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:02,839
- OH.
OH, I--
128
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:04,266
I-I'M SORRY.
129
00:05:04,372 --> 00:05:07,382
- THOSE ANNOYING VIDEO GAMES--
130
00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:10,078
THEY'RE ALL THE POOR LITTLE GUY
HAS RIGHT NOW.
131
00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:12,607
SO IF YOU WANT TO GO IN THERE,
132
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:15,453
TAKE AWAY THE ONLY THING
THAT MAKES HIM HAPPY,
133
00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:16,919
GO AHEAD,
BE MY GUEST,
134
00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:18,287
BUT I CAN'T.
135
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,123
- I'M SORRY.
136
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,027
FORGET I SAID ANYTHING.
137
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,085
- OH, MYRON.
138
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,029
- WOW.
139
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,100
IT'S REALLY NICE YOU'RE
TAKING CARE OF YOUR NEPHEW.
140
00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:34,971
CAN I POKE MY HEAD IN
AND SAY HEY?
141
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:36,268
- OH, MAYBE LATER, YOU KNOW.
142
00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:38,244
IT'S JUST, HE GETS REALLY
INTO VIDEO GAMES--
143
00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:39,266
- HEY, UNCLE VIN.
144
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,735
I'M BEGGING YOU,
145
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,453
PLEASE, TURN DOWN
YOUR STUPID VIDEO GAMES.
146
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,045
THE NEIGHBORS HAVE A PETITION!
147
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:48,418
- YOU SAW IT?
148
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:49,649
- I SIGNED IT.
149
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:54,420
- SO MAKE OUT LATER?
150
00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,155
- IT'S YOUR SISTER.
151
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,089
- NO, JIMMY.
NO.
152
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,564
MY CUSTOMERS
WANT THE IRON MAN SUIT
153
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:06,204
AND THE MACHINE GUN
FROM SCARFACE,
154
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:08,139
NOT SO MUCH THE BOW TIE
FROM THE KING'S SPEECH.
155
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:10,940
ALL RIGHT, BYE.
156
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,268
- HI, YOU HAVE A WEIRD BUSINESS.
157
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,440
- HELLO, WILMA.
158
00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:14,911
- SO I GOT WENDELL
A LITTLE PRESENT
159
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:17,878
WHEN I WAS OUT SHOPPING
FOR SOMETHING SPECIAL.
160
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,148
I HAVE A DATE.
161
00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:21,306
I MET HIM ON
TRUELOVEFINDERS.COM.
162
00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:23,119
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA--
I THOUGHT YOU WERE BANNED
163
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,546
FROM THOSE DATING SITES
FOR BEING--
164
00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:25,822
WHAT WERE THE WORDS?
165
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,119
both:
DESPERATE AND COMBATIVE.
166
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,590
- YES, YES, YES.
167
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:32,329
WILMA BASSET WAS BANNED,
BUT NASHIR KOBAYAN WAS NOT.
168
00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:34,230
I USED A PICTURE
OF A PERSIAN MODEL,
169
00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:37,357
AND I GOT A TON OF HITS.
170
00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:38,665
- SIS, I LOVE YOU,
171
00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:40,926
BUT YOU ARE CRAZY AND--
172
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,004
WOW, YOU ARE HOT!
173
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,202
- RIGHT?
174
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:44,773
- UH, YOU DON'T SEE A PROBLEM?
175
00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:46,372
- WAIT, YOU DON'T THINK
WE LOOK ALIKE?
176
00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:47,374
- NO.
177
00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:48,375
- NO, I THINK WE TOTALLY
LOOK ALIKE.
178
00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:49,476
- NOT EVEN--
- WE TOTALLY LOOK ALIKE.
179
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,577
LOOK WHEN I DO THIS.
LIKE THIS, "WHAT?"
180
00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:51,608
- OKAY.
181
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,612
ON THAT EVOLUTION CHART,
182
00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:55,384
YOU ARE TWO DRAWINGS AWAY.
183
00:06:55,483 --> 00:06:57,793
- OH, WHERE IS MY NEPHEW?
I WANT TO GIVE HIM HIS GIFT.
184
00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:59,945
- UNDERWEAR?
REALLY?
185
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,053
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
186
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:02,224
I KNOW WENDELL
BETTER THAN YOU DO.
187
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:03,522
WHY GARY AND RHONDA
MADE YOU THE GUARDIAN
188
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:04,634
IS A MYSTERY.
189
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,285
I MEAN, I AM CLEARLY
THE BETTER CHOICE.
190
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:09,233
I AM A WARM, NURTURING WOMAN.
191
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,101
- THEY CHOSE ME
'CAUSE I KNOW STUFF
192
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,240
LIKE 12-YEAR-OLD BOYS
DON'T GET EXCITED
193
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:16,365
ABOUT UNDERWEAR!
194
00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:18,344
- UNDERPANTS!
YAY!
195
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,510
HYPOALLERGENIC
WITH A BREATHABLE PANEL
196
00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:24,009
IN THE GENTLEMAN'S AREA!
197
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,151
IT'S LIKE YOU SEE
INTO MY DREAMS, AUNT WILMA.
198
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,076
- OHH.
mwah!
199
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,221
ALL RIGHT, I HAVE TO GO.
200
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:31,116
ENJOY YOUR UNDERWEAR.
201
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:33,948
- LIKE THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
202
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,524
HEY, CAN I TALK TO YOU
ABOUT SOMETHING?
203
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:37,860
- COURSE YOU CAN.
204
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,388
I AM YOUR CARETAKER.
205
00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:42,558
I'M THE GUY WHO MAKES SURE
YOU'RE ALWAYS SAFE.
206
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:44,133
HEY, YOU WANT A PEANUT BUTTER
SANDWICH?
207
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:47,071
- IT'LL MAKE MY THROAT CLOSE UP
AND KILL ME.
208
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:48,897
I'M ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS,
REMEMBER?
209
00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:54,009
- NOW, WHAT DO YOU NEED, CHAMP?
- IT'S SCHOOL.
210
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:56,877
I STILL DON'T THINK I'M
FITTING IN WITH THE OTHER KIDS.
211
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:59,177
- LET'S START WITH GETTING
LESS EXCITED ABOUT UNDERWEAR.
212
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:00,549
COME ON, YOU'RE 12.
213
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:01,621
NO ONE THINKS THEY FIT IN.
214
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:04,045
YOU'RE PROBABLY OVERREACTING.
215
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:05,991
- THEY POUR SMOOTHIES ON ME.
216
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:07,316
- ALL RIGHT, THAT'S A SIGN.
217
00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:10,321
JUST BE YOURSELF.
218
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:12,433
PRETEND I'M A KID.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?
219
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,560
- STABILITY OF THE EURO,
220
00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:15,962
EARLY SONDHEIM,
221
00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:17,463
ANTIBACTERIAL SOAP--
222
00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:19,565
- WAIT, DON'T BE YOURSELF.
223
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:20,733
BE NORMAL.
224
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,374
- OH, I DID DOWNLOAD
A FEW NEW APPS.
225
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:23,569
- NOW WE'RE TALKING.
226
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:25,441
- ONE WAS THIS AWESOME
SCRAPBOOKING PROGRAM,
227
00:08:25,573 --> 00:08:27,983
BUT THE OTHER KIDS DIDN'T CARE
ABOUT IT.
228
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:29,905
- YOU KNOW WHAT KIDS LIKE
MORE THAN SCRAPBOOKING?
229
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:30,910
- WHAT?
230
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,751
- EVERYTHING!
231
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,146
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED A SPORT?
232
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:36,418
- NO.
233
00:08:36,584 --> 00:08:38,124
WAIT, IS CALLIGRAPHY A SPORT?
234
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:39,218
- NO.
- THEN NO.
235
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:41,859
I HAVE NEVER TRIED A SPORT.
236
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,085
- IT'S EASY.
237
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,420
LET'S START WITH SPORTS TALK.
238
00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:46,832
ALL RIGHT,
WHEN SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENS,
239
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,997
SAY, "THAT WAS MASSIVE!"
240
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:50,226
AND WHEN SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS,
241
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,330
SAY, "OH, THAT BLOWS!"
242
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,172
- WOW, I'LL BE FITTING IN
IN A JIFFY!
243
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:55,167
- [laughs]
244
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:56,398
YOU WILL BE.
245
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,973
AND DON'T SAY "JIFFY."
246
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,072
[door clatters distantly]
247
00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:06,014
OOH, OUR NEIGHBOR'S
GOING FOR A JOG IN THE PARK
248
00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:07,313
WEARING BOOTY SHORTS.
249
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:09,084
- MR. LIPSHITZ?
250
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:11,052
- NO.
251
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:13,691
TIME TO TAKE YOU TO THE PARK,
AND TEACH YOU A SKILL
252
00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:15,717
THAT'S GONNA GIVE YOU
MAJOR STREET CRED.
253
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:18,363
- AHA, NOW I BUST OUT
THE CALLIGRAPHY, YEAH.
254
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:19,388
- NO!
255
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,402
ALL RIGHT, NOW JUST BALANCE.
256
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:24,926
LET THE BOARD DO THE MOVING.
257
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:25,932
YOU COOL?
258
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,973
- I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA DIE.
259
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,168
MAYBE A COUNTDOWN.
260
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:31,069
- SURE.
THREE, TWO--
261
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:32,141
- OKAY, A BIGGER COUNTDOWN.
262
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:36,179
- FINE.
15, 14, 13--
263
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:38,376
TWO, ONE.
- WHOA!
264
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:40,278
- WHOA! WHOA!
265
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,380
SLOW DOWN, THERE, BIG GUY.
266
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:43,382
- BUT YOU PUSHED--
267
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:44,793
- HELLO, TARYN.
268
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:46,515
WOW, WENDELL,
I'D LIKE YOU
269
00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:48,364
TO OFFICIALLY MEET TARYN,
OUR NEW NEIGHBOR.
270
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:49,985
- HI, IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
271
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:53,330
- I'D SHAKE YOUR HAND, BUT
I'M AFRAID IF I MOVE I'LL DIE.
272
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,196
- AND YET, I CAN'T KEEP HIM
OFF THE BOARD.
273
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:56,295
KIDS.
274
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:57,456
- ACTUALLY I'M READY
TO GET OFF--
275
00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:58,834
- OKAY, JUST KEEP YOUR BALANCE.
276
00:09:58,932 --> 00:09:59,832
YOU CAN DO IT!
277
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,533
I BELIEVE IN YOU!
278
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,295
- SEEING YOU OUT WITH HIM
IS NICE.
279
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:04,303
- I'M NOT JUST A GUARDIAN.
280
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:06,874
I'M A LEGAL GUARDIAN.
281
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:07,884
- VINNIE!
282
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,035
- I WROTE YOU OFF AS A SCAMMER,
283
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,012
BUT MAYBE YOU'RE ACTUALLY
AN OKAY GUY.
284
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,451
- IT'S AN HONOR TO BE
THE NAME HE CALLS
285
00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:13,445
WHEN HE NEEDS SOMETHING.
286
00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:14,546
- VINNIE!
287
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:15,818
- AND HONESTLY,
IT'S WHAT I LIVE FOR.
288
00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:17,276
- VINNIE!
[both scream]
289
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:22,921
- I FEEL SO HORRIBLE.
290
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:24,123
- YOU SHOULD.
291
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,234
WHILE YOU WERE HITTING ON ME,
292
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,025
YOU PUSHED YOUR NEPHEW
DOWN A MOUNTAIN.
293
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,497
- IT WAS A HILL.
294
00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:30,955
IT WAS A DANGEROUS
CONCRETE HILL--
295
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,334
OH, GOD, I'M A SCREW-UP.
296
00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:34,972
- THEN IT'S TIME TO STEP UP
AND BE A BETTER PARENT.
297
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,898
- I HAVE STEPPED UP.
298
00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:37,914
YOU KNOW, I--
299
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,835
I USED TO BE A GUY
WHO WENT TO
300
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:43,080
EVERY MOVIE, PARTY, CONCERT.
301
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,276
NOW I'M JUST SOME GUY
WHO STAYS AT HOME.
302
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:46,908
- ARE YOU SAYING
IT'S NOT WORTH IT?
303
00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:48,784
- NO.
304
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:51,252
I-IT'S STUPID HOW WORTH IT
IT IS.
305
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:52,991
WHEN HE COMES HOME HAPPY
ABOUT SOMETHING,
306
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,486
THERE IS NOTHING BETTER.
307
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:58,958
AND WHEN HE IS SAD,
IF YOU CAN GET HIM TO SMILE,
308
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,129
IT'S LIKE WINNING THE LOTTERY.
309
00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:03,058
- LOOK, DON'T BE A NICE GUY.
310
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,333
MY LIFE WILL BE A LOT EASIER
311
00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:07,872
IF YOU'RE JUST MY IDIOT NEIGHBOR
WHO MAKES ARM FARTS
312
00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:09,538
AND STEALS MY SUNDAY PAPER.
313
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:13,071
- BE HONEST.
314
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:16,743
DO YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF
SURVEILLANCE CAMERA IN THE HALL?
315
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:18,450
- I CAME AS SOON AS I HEARD.
316
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,849
- I NOW HAVE A LEAST FAVORITE
KARDASHIAN.
317
00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:32,430
- I WAS AT ARTURO'S
GETTING A MAKEOVER.
318
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,425
- OH.
319
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:36,026
WELL, WHY DOES ARTURO HATE YOU?
320
00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:42,336
THIS IS MY SISTER, WILMA.
THIS IS MY NEIGHBOR, TARYN.
321
00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:44,035
- I'M FROM TEXAS, HOUSTON.
322
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:46,907
- I ALREADY DON'T CARE.
HOW'S WENDELL?
323
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:48,637
- I DON'T KNOW.
THEY WON'T TELL ME.
324
00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:49,906
- HOLD ON.
325
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:50,980
HI.
326
00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:52,408
- WILMA, GIRL,
YOU ARE LOOKING GOOD.
327
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:53,782
- CAN YOU FIND OUT
WHAT'S GOING ON
328
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,054
WITH BASSET, COMMA, WENDELL "R"?
329
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,578
- HE'S JUST ON HIS WAY UP
FROM X-RAY.
330
00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:57,823
BROKEN ARM.
331
00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,788
- WOW, YOU REALLY KNOW YOUR WAY
AROUND A HOSPITAL.
332
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:00,853
ARE YOU A DOCTOR?
333
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:01,864
- BETTER.
334
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:02,985
PERSONAL INJURY ATTORNEY.
335
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:04,960
- YOU SHOULD SUE
YOUR MAKEOVER GUY.
336
00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:09,404
- IT'LL LOOK GREAT
ONCE YOU GO BACK AND FINISH.
337
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:12,071
- HE WAS FINISHED.
338
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,467
SO HAS SOCIAL SERVICES
COME BY YET?
339
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,539
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
340
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:18,907
- WELL, IT'S STANDARD PROCEDURE
341
00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:20,666
WHEN THERE'S AN INJURY
INVOLVING A MINOR.
342
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:23,008
THEY INVESTIGATE TO SEE
IF YOU'RE A FIT GUARDIAN,
343
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,480
AND TRUST ME, VINNIE,
344
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:25,647
YOU ARE NOT GONNA QUALIFY.
345
00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:27,953
JUST SKIP ALL THE HASSLE
AND EXPENSE
346
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:29,818
AND SIGN HIM OVER TO ME NOW.
347
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:31,347
- YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT
TO SCARE HIM.
348
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,051
- NO, I'M SAYING THAT
BECAUSE I KNOW THE LAW.
349
00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,723
I HAPPEN TO BE
A VERY GOOD LAWYER.
350
00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:36,062
- YOU'RE NOT THAT GOOD.
351
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,027
- HI, DR. DOWE.
352
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:40,526
- GO TO HELL, BASSET!
353
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:43,402
- UH!
354
00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:47,902
- CAULIFLOWER TUESDAY,
THAT'S MASSIVE!
355
00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:51,039
- HEY, WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR ARM?
356
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:52,868
TRAGIC DORKING ACCIDENT?
357
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:54,613
- NO, I BROKE IT SKATEBOARDING.
358
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:55,737
- BOARDING?
359
00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:57,613
WHERE?
360
00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:00,310
- I WAS BOARDING DOWN
DEAD MAN'S HILL.
361
00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:01,953
all: OOH!
362
00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:03,219
- GRINDING A RAIL.
363
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:04,616
all: WHOA!
364
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:05,747
- IN MY NEW UNDERWEAR.
365
00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:06,853
all: HUH?
366
00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:12,289
- DID I MENTION
THE HILL WAS ON FIRE?
367
00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:13,462
all: OH!
368
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:21,632
- THIS PLACE IS A MESS.
WHAT HAPPENED?
369
00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:24,144
- I WAS TRYING TO FIND
THE CLEANING SUPPLIES.
370
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:27,437
NOW I'M PRETTY SURE
I DON'T OWN CLEANING SUPPLIES.
371
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,010
- SOCIAL SERVICES IS COMING.
372
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,039
YOU'VE GOT TO START CLEANING,
MAKING DINNER.
373
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,714
- I ALREADY MADE IT.
374
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,150
BURNED EVERYTHING.
375
00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,653
- MAYBE THEY SHOULD TAKE WENDELL
FROM ME.
376
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,290
- WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
377
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:41,616
- I'M NOT A FIT GUARDIAN.
378
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:42,891
LOOK AT THIS PLACE.
379
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:45,490
IT'S FILLED WITH TOYS,
MOVIES, SPORTS JUNK.
380
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,232
IT'S NO PLACE FOR A KID.
381
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:50,799
- YOU CAN'T GIVE UP.
382
00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:52,468
YOU HAVE TO FIGHT
383
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:53,465
FOR WHAT YOU WANT
384
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:54,496
AND NOT SIT THERE
385
00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:57,241
LIKE A LAZY, BROKEN HALF-WIT.
386
00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:00,065
- WHOA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
387
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,773
- DID I MISREAD THE SIGNS?
388
00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:03,339
- I CALLED YOU A HALF-WIT.
389
00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:04,983
- THAT WAS THE SIGN
I WAS READING.
390
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,320
- HEY, WENDELL.
391
00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:09,315
HOW WAS SCHOOL?
392
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:10,516
- OH, IT WAS AWESOME.
393
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:11,817
PEOPLE LIKED ME TODAY.
394
00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:13,119
- REALLY?
395
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:14,820
- YEP, WHEN I TOLD THEM
I BROKE MY ARM SKATEBOARDING,
396
00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:15,962
I WAS A HERO.
397
00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:17,686
THEY SIGNED MY CAST
AND EVERYTHING.
398
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:19,790
ONLY ONE KID
WROTE SOMETHING DIRTY.
399
00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:23,634
- SEE?
YOU'RE NOT A TOTAL DISASTER.
400
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,130
- I'M NOT A TOTAL DISASTER!
401
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:26,132
- RIGHT!
402
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:27,133
SO GET UP OFF YOUR BUTT,
403
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,474
AND CLEAN THIS PLACE.
404
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:29,938
HEY, AND I'LL MAKE
MY KUNG PAO CHICKEN
405
00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:30,937
AND SAY YOU MADE IT.
406
00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,038
- YOU WOULD DO THAT FOR ME?
407
00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:34,439
- NO, HIM.
408
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,581
THIS IS WHAT HIS PARENTS WANTED.
409
00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:38,806
YOU ARE WHAT THEY WANTED.
410
00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:40,206
- RIGHT.
411
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,523
- RIGHT, SO LET'S MOVE THIS JUNK
TO MY PLACE.
412
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:45,845
- FINE, I DON'T CARE
ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT WENDELL.
413
00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:47,323
- OH.
- NO!
414
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,360
- [shrieks]
415
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,259
- OKAY, I CARE ABOUT TWO THINGS.
416
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:55,130
[knocking at door]
417
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,258
HE'S HERE.
418
00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:57,503
HE'S HERE.
419
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,327
NO ONE FREAK OUT!
420
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:03,265
- HI, I'M VINCENT BASSET.
421
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:05,310
- SCOTT PENDERGRASS,
SOCIAL SERVICES DEPARTMENT.
422
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:06,835
- OH, COME ON IN.
WELCOME TO OUR HOME.
423
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:08,114
- OH, THIS MUST BE WENDELL.
424
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,438
- I'D OFFER MY HAND,
BUT MY UNCLE BROKE IT.
425
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,080
[stammering]
426
00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:16,081
NOT ON PURPOSE.
HE DOESN'T BEAT ME.
427
00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:19,418
AND HE DIDN'T THREATEN
TO BEAT ME
428
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,849
IF I DIDN'T SAY
HE DOESN'T BEAT ME.
429
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,190
- HI, I'M TARYN, THE NEIGHBOR.
430
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:28,302
I JUST POPPED OVER
TO SEEK VINNIE'S COUNSEL.
431
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:29,325
HE'S VERY WISE.
432
00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:32,431
- THEN IT'S SETTLED.
433
00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:34,472
YOUR DEODORANT STONE
IS NOT WORKING.
434
00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:39,174
YOU'RE WELCOME,
AND GODSPEED.
435
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,472
- THANKS.
436
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:44,312
- DINNERTIME!
437
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:45,581
HEY, CARE TO JOIN US?
438
00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:48,078
- OH, NO, THANKS.
I'LL JUST OBSERVE.
439
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:50,451
SO WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
440
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:53,220
- JUST A LITTLE KUNG PAO CHICKEN
I WHIPPED UP.
441
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,820
- OH, WHAT'S YOUR SECRET?
442
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,726
- YOU KNOW, FOR AN OBSERVER,
YOU'RE PRETTY CHATTY.
443
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,533
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.
444
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,129
- MR. PENDERGRASS, WAIT.
445
00:16:04,231 --> 00:16:06,031
- I'VE BEEN DOING THIS
FOR A LONG TIME.
446
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:07,733
WENDELL GOT HURT.
IT HAPPENS.
447
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:09,544
BUT THIS PLACE IS SAFE.
448
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,236
YOU'RE A DECENT GUY.
449
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:13,038
MY JOB IS TO TAKE KIDS
OUT OF HOMES
450
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,910
WHERE THEY'RE ACTUALLY
IN DANGER.
451
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:16,712
THIS CLEARLY
ISN'T ONE OF THOSE HOMES.
452
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,179
- THERE ARE PEANUTS IN THIS!
WENDELL'S ALLERGIC!
453
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:22,421
HIS THROAT'S CLOSING!
454
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:23,545
- DO YOU HAVE AN EPIPEN?
455
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:24,720
- YEAH, I PUT IT
WITH THE LIGHTSABER
456
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,887
SO I WON'T FORGET
WHERE IT IS.
457
00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:27,924
IT WON'T OPEN.
458
00:16:41,268 --> 00:16:42,198
HE'S BREATHING.
459
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:45,944
WELL, AGAIN,
THANKS FOR DROPPING BY.
460
00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:56,482
- HOW IS HE?
461
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:57,883
- HE WENT
INTO ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK.
462
00:16:57,984 --> 00:16:59,824
- OH, MY GOD.
- HE'LL BE FINE!
463
00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:01,119
- I AM AZIZ.
464
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,556
- YEAH, UH,
VINNIE, MY BROTHER,
465
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:05,757
AND TARYN, HIS NEIGHBOR.
466
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,128
THIS IS MY DATE.
467
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:09,958
- I-I'M SORRY
I RUINED YOUR EVENING.
468
00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:11,097
- RUIN?
469
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:12,768
THIS IS THE BEST PART.
470
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,965
SHE'S NOTHING LIKE HER PROFILE,
YOU KNOW.
471
00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,639
- LET'S JUST FINISH OUT
THE DATE, AZIZ.
472
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:19,768
I MEAN, LOOK--
473
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,712
TRUST ME.
I AM LIKE A CRACKER JACK BOX.
474
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:24,708
EVENTUALLY, THERE IS
A PRIZE INSIDE.
475
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,853
- UNLESS THE PRIZE
COMES WITH PENICILLIN,
476
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,418
I DON'T WANT IT.
477
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:34,652
- MR. BASSET,
I WAS WRONG ABOUT YOU.
478
00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,264
I LOOKED UP
THE HOSPITAL RECORDS.
479
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,656
YOU'VE BEEN
TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM 13 TIMES
480
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,158
SINCE YOU'VE HAD CUSTODY
OF WENDELL.
481
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,690
I'M AFRAID WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO EXPLORE
482
00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:43,264
FINDING HIM A DIFFERENT PLACE
TO LIVE.
483
00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:46,602
- HEY, HEY, HEY,
YOU OKAY, BUDDY?
484
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:48,569
- HE'S FINE.
HE JUST NEEDS A LITTLE REST.
485
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,038
- I'M READY TO GO HOME.
486
00:17:50,137 --> 00:17:52,737
- WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT
WHERE THAT SHOULD BE.
487
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:56,339
- I AM GOING TO MOVE YOU
INTO MY SHOE ROOM,
488
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:59,713
AND BECAUSE I LOVE YOU,
489
00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:01,612
I'M GONNA MOVE THE SHOES.
490
00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:04,454
- DON'T LISTEN TO HER.
SHE'S FULL OF LIES.
491
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:06,418
- THIS IS CRAZY.
492
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:07,589
- YOU CAN'T DO THIS.
493
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:08,687
- I WON'T ALLOW IT!
494
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:13,664
I'M EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED.
495
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:14,990
- I'M SORRY.
496
00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:16,162
- HOME IS WITH VINNIE.
497
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:18,396
- WE KNOW ABOUT
THE EMERGENCY ROOM VISITS.
498
00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:21,268
- BUT THOSE VISITS WERE
FOR UNCLE VINNIE, NOT ME.
499
00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:22,798
- OH, I DON'T THINK SO.
500
00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:25,002
TWISTED ANKLE DOING FLIPS
OFF THE MONKEY BARS?
501
00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:26,242
- ME.
- VINNIE.
502
00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:29,175
- GO-KART ACCIDENT?
503
00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:30,179
- ME.
- VINNIE.
504
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:32,711
- STOMACH FULL OF NICKELS?
505
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,512
- ALL VINNIE.
I WON A BET.
506
00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:37,823
- CHECK THE REPORT.
I'M THE PATIENT.
507
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:41,647
F.Y.I.
THEY DON'T COME OUT IN ROLLS.
508
00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:46,531
- WHEN I WAS CHOKING,
VINNIE BROKE THE LIGHTSABER
509
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:47,926
TO GET ME THE EPIPEN.
510
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:50,857
I THOUGHT THAT PROP WAS THE MOST
IMPORTANT THING IN HIS LIFE,
511
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,033
BUT NOW I KNOW I AM.
512
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,700
MAYBE THAT'S WHY MY PARENTS
PICKED HIM.
513
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,471
THEY KNEW HE'D PUT ME FIRST.
514
00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:01,266
- THAT WAS
AN ORIGINAL LIGHTSABER?
515
00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:04,042
FROM EPISODE IV?
516
00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:06,351
IS THERE ANY WAY I COULD
517
00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:08,416
TOUCH IT
WHEN IT'S FIXED?
518
00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:10,045
- I DON'T REALLY LIKE
PEOPLE HANDLING--
519
00:19:10,217 --> 00:19:11,077
ABSOLUTELY.
520
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:15,285
- WELL, THESE REPORTS ACTUALLY
DO LIST YOU AS THE PATIENT.
521
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:17,963
I GUESS WENDELL CAN STAY.
522
00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:20,626
I'LL FOLLOW UP.
523
00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:22,727
- WHAT?
THE MAN ATE NICKELS!
524
00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:26,695
- WE DID IT!
525
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:33,311
- DON'T LOOK.
526
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:35,976
- OOH.
527
00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:38,845
SOMETHING I'M NOT SUPPOSED
TO SEE?
528
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:41,305
NOW I'M INTRIGUED.
WHAT IS IT?
529
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:43,424
IS IT BIKINI GIRLS?
530
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,316
IS IT GROSS-OUT VIDEOS?
531
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:47,749
COMBO?
532
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:51,721
- IT'S MY SCRAPBOOKING PROGRAM.
533
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:52,764
- UGH!
534
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:57,364
WENDELL, COME ON.
WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.
535
00:19:57,464 --> 00:19:58,934
THE NEXT TIME I LOOK
AT THIS MONITOR,
536
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,431
THERE HAD BETTER BE BOOBS.
537
00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:04,666
THAT'S YOUR DAD.
538
00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:07,371
- YEAH, IT WAS OUR FISHING TRIP.
539
00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:09,284
WE DIDN'T CATCH A THING.
540
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,676
WE JUST GOT SUNBURNED,
AND THEN I GOT SEASICK.
541
00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:13,278
- THAT SOUNDS HORRIBLE.
542
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,480
- IT WAS ONE OF THE BEST DAYS
OF MY LIFE.
543
00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:18,522
WE LAUGHED A LOT,
TOLD JOKES,
544
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:20,248
SANG BEATLES' SONGS.
545
00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:23,894
I ALWAYS THOUGHT
WE'D GO BACK THERE EVERY YEAR.
546
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:25,590
- HEY.
547
00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:27,432
I MISS HIM TOO.
548
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,857
I MISS THEM BOTH.
549
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:30,862
- WHEN DOES IT STOP?
550
00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:31,933
- I DON'T KNOW.
551
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,769
I DON'T KNOW, BUT...
552
00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:37,097
I'LL BE HERE
WITH YOU UNTIL IT DOES.
553
00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:39,808
- THANKS, UNCLE VINNIE.
554
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,735
- YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS WONDERED
WHY YOUR PARENTS
555
00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:45,984
GAVE ME CUSTODY OF YOU.
556
00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:50,384
NOW I REALIZE THAT
THEY GAVE YOU CUSTODY OF ME.
557
00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:51,723
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
558
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,415
- I THINK THEY FIGURED
YOU'D BE GREAT
559
00:20:54,521 --> 00:20:56,591
NO MATTER WHO YOU LIVED WITH.
560
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:59,659
BUT THEY WANTED TO GIVE ME
A CHANCE TO GROW UP RIGHT.
561
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,559
- I'M GLAD THEY DID.
562
00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:03,731
AND I PROMISE I'LL DO
SOMETHING BAD SOMETIME.
563
00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:07,525
- THAT'S ALL I ASK.
564
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,943
- IF THIS HOSPITAL
HAD AN AWARDS PROGRAM,
565
00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:19,082
Y'ALL ARE ONE STUPID ACCIDENT
AWAY FROM A FREE COLONOSCOPY.
566
00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:21,777
- I CAME AS SOON AS I HEARD.
567
00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:23,421
- I CAME AS SOON AS I HEARD.
568
00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:26,594
- WE KEPT IN TOUCH.
569
00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:30,488
- WHICH ONE OF YOU
WAS PLAYING WITH THE SUPERGLUE?
570
00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:32,630
- I JUST WASN'T
PAYING ATTENTION.
571
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:35,425
- DON'T BLAME YOURSELF.
YOU'RE JUST A KID.
38571
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