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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:11,611 - YEP. 2 00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:13,212 [laughs] 3 00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:14,984 WENDELL, COME LOOK. 4 00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:16,583 - CAN'T. HOMEWORK. 5 00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:18,454 - OH, COME ON. IT'S A BOX! 6 00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:19,922 IT'S A MYSTERY! 7 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,260 WHO DOESN'T LOVE A MYSTERY? 8 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,685 - CHILDREN WITH PRIORITIES. 9 00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:28,058 [pencil snaps] 10 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:30,803 - WENDELL, COME LOOK! 11 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,243 - HOPE THERE'S A PENCIL IN THAT BOX. 12 00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:37,813 - BEHOLD: THE GREATEST PIECE OF ART 13 00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:39,705 YOU'LL EVER SEE IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. 14 00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:41,107 - A REMBRANDT? 15 00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:42,109 - BETTER. 16 00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:43,540 - KANDINSKY, DUERER, 17 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:44,554 VAN NECK? 18 00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,205 - NOW YOU'RE JUST MAKING SOUNDS. 19 00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,585 TA-DA! 20 00:00:54,955 --> 00:00:57,385 - IT'S LUKE SKYWALKER'S ACTUAL LIGHTSABER 21 00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:59,261 FROM THE FIRST STAR WARS! 22 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,360 - NEVER SAW THAT MOVIE. 23 00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:02,832 - WHAT? 24 00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:06,530 THAT'S LIKE SAYING YOU'VE NEVER SEEN STAR WARS. 25 00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:10,866 THE LIGHTSABER IS THE SINGLE GREATEST PROP 26 00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,871 FROM ANY MOVIE EVER. 27 00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:15,513 IT IS THE HOLY GRAIL OF COLLECTIBLES. 28 00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:18,609 - EXCEPT FOR THE ACTUAL HOLY GRAIL. 29 00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,612 IT'S JUST A DUMB PROP FROM A SPACE MOVIE. 30 00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:25,354 - THE LIGHTSABER REPRESENTS REVELATION. 31 00:01:26,987 --> 00:01:29,287 A JOURNEY TO YOUR DESTINY. 32 00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:31,360 IT'S A SYMBOL OF THE COLLECTIVE GOOD. 33 00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:34,429 - WOW, YOU'RE A LOT DEEPER THAN I GAVE YOU CREDIT FOR. 34 00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,158 - IT ALSO LASERS PEOPLE IN HALF. 35 00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:37,500 [makes buzzing noise] 36 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,998 - WELL, CAN I PLAY WITH IT? 37 00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:41,798 - FINALLY! 38 00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:43,872 THE FIRST NORMAL KID THING YOU'VE SAID, 39 00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:46,971 AND NO, YOU CAN NEVER, EVER, EVER PLAY WITH IT EVER. 40 00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:52,177 [quirky brass music] 41 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:53,180 * 42 00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:55,221 - * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD 43 00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:56,976 - * NEVER FELT SO GOOD 44 00:01:57,084 --> 00:01:59,194 - * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD 45 00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:01,960 - * NEVER FELT SO GOOD 46 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,885 - * SO WAIT A MINUTE 47 00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:04,891 * HEY 48 00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:07,832 * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD 49 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,230 - OH, MY-- 50 00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,068 WHAT THE-- 51 00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:18,044 HEY, NEW GUY WHO THINKS IT'S OKAY 52 00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:19,866 TO LEAVE YOUR BOXES EVERYWHERE, 53 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:20,873 COME OUT OF THERE! 54 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,084 I GOT WORDS FOR YOU! 55 00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:23,740 WORDS! 56 00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:26,954 AND THOSE WORDS ARE, "HELLO, YOU." 57 00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:28,547 - OH, GOD, YOU TRIPPED OVER MY STUFF. 58 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,349 I'M SO, SO SORRY. - NO, NO--NO WORRIES. 59 00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:32,221 NO WORRIES. I GOT IT. 60 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,750 I'M VINNIE. 61 00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:35,124 5B. 62 00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:36,123 AND YOU'VE MET MY TRASH. 63 00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:37,494 - [laughs] 64 00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:39,491 HEY, I'M TARYN. 65 00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:40,533 I JUST MOVED FROM TEXAS. 66 00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,028 HOUSTON. RECENTLY DIVORCED. 67 00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:44,399 HE LEFT ME, BUT IT WAS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME, 68 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,228 WHICH KIND OF MAKES MY LIFE SOUND PRETTY AWFUL. 69 00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:48,304 WOW, I CAN'T STOP TALKING, CAN I? 70 00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:49,302 - HEY, YOU KNOW, 71 00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:50,503 MAYBE YOU CAN OVERSHARE WITH ME 72 00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:51,874 AT THIS NICE COFFEE SHOP I KNOW. 73 00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:53,142 - [laughs] 74 00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:55,111 THANKS, BUT I'M NOT DATING RIGHT NOW. 75 00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:56,943 - COME ON. IT'S JUST COFFEE. 76 00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:59,114 IT'S NOT MAKING OUT. 77 00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:00,947 ALTHOUGH IT CAN BE. 78 00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:03,048 BUT I'M GONNA NEED COFFEE FIRST. 79 00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:04,590 [laughs awkwardly] 80 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,645 - LOOK, YOU'RE NOT MY TYPE. 81 00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:08,024 - NOT YOUR TYPE? 82 00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:10,591 - 30 GOING ON 14. 83 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,491 VIDEO GAMES BUT NO DISHES. 84 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,333 CHEESE PUFFS FOR BREAKFAST. 85 00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:15,728 DRIVES A DUMB CAR. 86 00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,899 WILLING TO STRING A GIRL ALONG AND THEN DUMP HER 87 00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:20,668 WHEN SHE PRESSES TO TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL. 88 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,268 - YOU DON'T KNOW ME. 89 00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:26,644 AND MY THOR-THEMED MINI COOPER IS NOT DUMB. 90 00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:32,753 [children chattering indistinctly] 91 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,276 - HELLO, FELLOW MIDDLE SCHOOLERS. 92 00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:36,883 - WHO SAID YOU COULD SIT AT OUR TABLE? 93 00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,924 - I'M JUST TRYING TO EXPAND MY SOCIAL CIRCLE, 94 00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:41,289 BUT IF IT'S NOT COOL, JUST SAY THE WORD. 95 00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:45,663 [all laughing] 96 00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:46,929 OR DO THAT. 97 00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:49,299 JUST A TIP: 98 00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:51,633 A GENTLEMAN REMOVES THE STRAW FIRST. 99 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:52,832 - LET'S GO, YOU GUYS. 100 00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,403 SOMEBODY STINKS OF DORK. 101 00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:55,972 - THAT COULD BE THE PAPAYA. 102 00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:01,068 - I'M JEFFY, AND I'M REALLY GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 103 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:02,084 - REALLY? 104 00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:03,305 - TOTALLY. 105 00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:04,984 I'M THE LEAST POPULAR KID AT SCHOOL, 106 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,148 OR I USED TO BE. 107 00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:09,015 LATER, FREAK! 108 00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:13,819 - MR. BASSET, MYRON LIPSHITZ, 109 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,721 HEAD OF THE CONDO ASSOCIATION. 110 00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:18,833 - JUNIOR HIGH MUST'VE BEEN BRUTAL WITH THAT NAME! 111 00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:23,860 OR NOT. I-- 112 00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:27,404 - IT'S ABOUT THE CONSTANT NOISE FROM THE VIDEO GAMES. 113 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,771 IT'S TOO MUCH. 114 00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,999 [man screaming] 115 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,014 - REALLY? I DON'T HEAR IT. 116 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,505 - LOOK-- 117 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,407 WE WANT OUR QUIET BACK! 118 00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:38,009 THIS IS A PETITION SIGNED BY THE RESIDENTS 119 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,351 DEMANDING YOU TURN IT DOWN OR LEAVE. 120 00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:41,548 [blasters zapping] 121 00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:42,779 - DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE? 122 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:43,953 - WHATEVER IT IS, 123 00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:46,421 IT'S A DISAPPOINTMENT TO YOUR PARENTS. 124 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,456 - THERE WAS AN ACCIDENT SIX MONTHS AGO. 125 00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:57,232 MY BROTHER AND HIS WIFE DIDN'T MAKE IT, 126 00:04:57,365 --> 00:05:01,225 AND I GOT CUSTODY OF THEIR SON, WENDELL. 127 00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:02,839 - OH. OH, I-- 128 00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:04,266 I-I'M SORRY. 129 00:05:04,372 --> 00:05:07,382 - THOSE ANNOYING VIDEO GAMES-- 130 00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:10,078 THEY'RE ALL THE POOR LITTLE GUY HAS RIGHT NOW. 131 00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:12,607 SO IF YOU WANT TO GO IN THERE, 132 00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:15,453 TAKE AWAY THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES HIM HAPPY, 133 00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:16,919 GO AHEAD, BE MY GUEST, 134 00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:18,287 BUT I CAN'T. 135 00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,123 - I'M SORRY. 136 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,027 FORGET I SAID ANYTHING. 137 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,085 - OH, MYRON. 138 00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,029 - WOW. 139 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,100 IT'S REALLY NICE YOU'RE TAKING CARE OF YOUR NEPHEW. 140 00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:34,971 CAN I POKE MY HEAD IN AND SAY HEY? 141 00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:36,268 - OH, MAYBE LATER, YOU KNOW. 142 00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:38,244 IT'S JUST, HE GETS REALLY INTO VIDEO GAMES-- 143 00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:39,266 - HEY, UNCLE VIN. 144 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,735 I'M BEGGING YOU, 145 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,453 PLEASE, TURN DOWN YOUR STUPID VIDEO GAMES. 146 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,045 THE NEIGHBORS HAVE A PETITION! 147 00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:48,418 - YOU SAW IT? 148 00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:49,649 - I SIGNED IT. 149 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:54,420 - SO MAKE OUT LATER? 150 00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,155 - IT'S YOUR SISTER. 151 00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,089 - NO, JIMMY. NO. 152 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,564 MY CUSTOMERS WANT THE IRON MAN SUIT 153 00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:06,204 AND THE MACHINE GUN FROM SCARFACE, 154 00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:08,139 NOT SO MUCH THE BOW TIE FROM THE KING'S SPEECH. 155 00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:10,940 ALL RIGHT, BYE. 156 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,268 - HI, YOU HAVE A WEIRD BUSINESS. 157 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,440 - HELLO, WILMA. 158 00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:14,911 - SO I GOT WENDELL A LITTLE PRESENT 159 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:17,878 WHEN I WAS OUT SHOPPING FOR SOMETHING SPECIAL. 160 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,148 I HAVE A DATE. 161 00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:21,306 I MET HIM ON TRUELOVEFINDERS.COM. 162 00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:23,119 - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA-- I THOUGHT YOU WERE BANNED 163 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,546 FROM THOSE DATING SITES FOR BEING-- 164 00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:25,822 WHAT WERE THE WORDS? 165 00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,119 both: DESPERATE AND COMBATIVE. 166 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,590 - YES, YES, YES. 167 00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:32,329 WILMA BASSET WAS BANNED, BUT NASHIR KOBAYAN WAS NOT. 168 00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:34,230 I USED A PICTURE OF A PERSIAN MODEL, 169 00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:37,357 AND I GOT A TON OF HITS. 170 00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:38,665 - SIS, I LOVE YOU, 171 00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:40,926 BUT YOU ARE CRAZY AND-- 172 00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,004 WOW, YOU ARE HOT! 173 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,202 - RIGHT? 174 00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:44,773 - UH, YOU DON'T SEE A PROBLEM? 175 00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:46,372 - WAIT, YOU DON'T THINK WE LOOK ALIKE? 176 00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:47,374 - NO. 177 00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:48,375 - NO, I THINK WE TOTALLY LOOK ALIKE. 178 00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:49,476 - NOT EVEN-- - WE TOTALLY LOOK ALIKE. 179 00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,577 LOOK WHEN I DO THIS. LIKE THIS, "WHAT?" 180 00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:51,608 - OKAY. 181 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,612 ON THAT EVOLUTION CHART, 182 00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:55,384 YOU ARE TWO DRAWINGS AWAY. 183 00:06:55,483 --> 00:06:57,793 - OH, WHERE IS MY NEPHEW? I WANT TO GIVE HIM HIS GIFT. 184 00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:59,945 - UNDERWEAR? REALLY? 185 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,053 - YOU KNOW WHAT? 186 00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:02,224 I KNOW WENDELL BETTER THAN YOU DO. 187 00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:03,522 WHY GARY AND RHONDA MADE YOU THE GUARDIAN 188 00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:04,634 IS A MYSTERY. 189 00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,285 I MEAN, I AM CLEARLY THE BETTER CHOICE. 190 00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:09,233 I AM A WARM, NURTURING WOMAN. 191 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,101 - THEY CHOSE ME 'CAUSE I KNOW STUFF 192 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,240 LIKE 12-YEAR-OLD BOYS DON'T GET EXCITED 193 00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:16,365 ABOUT UNDERWEAR! 194 00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:18,344 - UNDERPANTS! YAY! 195 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,510 HYPOALLERGENIC WITH A BREATHABLE PANEL 196 00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:24,009 IN THE GENTLEMAN'S AREA! 197 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,151 IT'S LIKE YOU SEE INTO MY DREAMS, AUNT WILMA. 198 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,076 - OHH. mwah! 199 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,221 ALL RIGHT, I HAVE TO GO. 200 00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:31,116 ENJOY YOUR UNDERWEAR. 201 00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:33,948 - LIKE THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. 202 00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,524 HEY, CAN I TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING? 203 00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:37,860 - COURSE YOU CAN. 204 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,388 I AM YOUR CARETAKER. 205 00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:42,558 I'M THE GUY WHO MAKES SURE YOU'RE ALWAYS SAFE. 206 00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:44,133 HEY, YOU WANT A PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH? 207 00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:47,071 - IT'LL MAKE MY THROAT CLOSE UP AND KILL ME. 208 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:48,897 I'M ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS, REMEMBER? 209 00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:54,009 - NOW, WHAT DO YOU NEED, CHAMP? - IT'S SCHOOL. 210 00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:56,877 I STILL DON'T THINK I'M FITTING IN WITH THE OTHER KIDS. 211 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:59,177 - LET'S START WITH GETTING LESS EXCITED ABOUT UNDERWEAR. 212 00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:00,549 COME ON, YOU'RE 12. 213 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:01,621 NO ONE THINKS THEY FIT IN. 214 00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:04,045 YOU'RE PROBABLY OVERREACTING. 215 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:05,991 - THEY POUR SMOOTHIES ON ME. 216 00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:07,316 - ALL RIGHT, THAT'S A SIGN. 217 00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:10,321 JUST BE YOURSELF. 218 00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:12,433 PRETEND I'M A KID. WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND? 219 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,560 - STABILITY OF THE EURO, 220 00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:15,962 EARLY SONDHEIM, 221 00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:17,463 ANTIBACTERIAL SOAP-- 222 00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:19,565 - WAIT, DON'T BE YOURSELF. 223 00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:20,733 BE NORMAL. 224 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,374 - OH, I DID DOWNLOAD A FEW NEW APPS. 225 00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:23,569 - NOW WE'RE TALKING. 226 00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:25,441 - ONE WAS THIS AWESOME SCRAPBOOKING PROGRAM, 227 00:08:25,573 --> 00:08:27,983 BUT THE OTHER KIDS DIDN'T CARE ABOUT IT. 228 00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:29,905 - YOU KNOW WHAT KIDS LIKE MORE THAN SCRAPBOOKING? 229 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:30,910 - WHAT? 230 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,751 - EVERYTHING! 231 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,146 HAVE YOU EVER TRIED A SPORT? 232 00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:36,418 - NO. 233 00:08:36,584 --> 00:08:38,124 WAIT, IS CALLIGRAPHY A SPORT? 234 00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:39,218 - NO. - THEN NO. 235 00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:41,859 I HAVE NEVER TRIED A SPORT. 236 00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,085 - IT'S EASY. 237 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,420 LET'S START WITH SPORTS TALK. 238 00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:46,832 ALL RIGHT, WHEN SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENS, 239 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,997 SAY, "THAT WAS MASSIVE!" 240 00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:50,226 AND WHEN SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS, 241 00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,330 SAY, "OH, THAT BLOWS!" 242 00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,172 - WOW, I'LL BE FITTING IN IN A JIFFY! 243 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:55,167 - [laughs] 244 00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:56,398 YOU WILL BE. 245 00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,973 AND DON'T SAY "JIFFY." 246 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,072 [door clatters distantly] 247 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:06,014 OOH, OUR NEIGHBOR'S GOING FOR A JOG IN THE PARK 248 00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:07,313 WEARING BOOTY SHORTS. 249 00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:09,084 - MR. LIPSHITZ? 250 00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:11,052 - NO. 251 00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:13,691 TIME TO TAKE YOU TO THE PARK, AND TEACH YOU A SKILL 252 00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:15,717 THAT'S GONNA GIVE YOU MAJOR STREET CRED. 253 00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:18,363 - AHA, NOW I BUST OUT THE CALLIGRAPHY, YEAH. 254 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:19,388 - NO! 255 00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,402 ALL RIGHT, NOW JUST BALANCE. 256 00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:24,926 LET THE BOARD DO THE MOVING. 257 00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:25,932 YOU COOL? 258 00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,973 - I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA DIE. 259 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,168 MAYBE A COUNTDOWN. 260 00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:31,069 - SURE. THREE, TWO-- 261 00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:32,141 - OKAY, A BIGGER COUNTDOWN. 262 00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:36,179 - FINE. 15, 14, 13-- 263 00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:38,376 TWO, ONE. - WHOA! 264 00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:40,278 - WHOA! WHOA! 265 00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,380 SLOW DOWN, THERE, BIG GUY. 266 00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:43,382 - BUT YOU PUSHED-- 267 00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:44,793 - HELLO, TARYN. 268 00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:46,515 WOW, WENDELL, I'D LIKE YOU 269 00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:48,364 TO OFFICIALLY MEET TARYN, OUR NEW NEIGHBOR. 270 00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:49,985 - HI, IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. 271 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:53,330 - I'D SHAKE YOUR HAND, BUT I'M AFRAID IF I MOVE I'LL DIE. 272 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,196 - AND YET, I CAN'T KEEP HIM OFF THE BOARD. 273 00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:56,295 KIDS. 274 00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:57,456 - ACTUALLY I'M READY TO GET OFF-- 275 00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:58,834 - OKAY, JUST KEEP YOUR BALANCE. 276 00:09:58,932 --> 00:09:59,832 YOU CAN DO IT! 277 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,533 I BELIEVE IN YOU! 278 00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,295 - SEEING YOU OUT WITH HIM IS NICE. 279 00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:04,303 - I'M NOT JUST A GUARDIAN. 280 00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:06,874 I'M A LEGAL GUARDIAN. 281 00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:07,884 - VINNIE! 282 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,035 - I WROTE YOU OFF AS A SCAMMER, 283 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,012 BUT MAYBE YOU'RE ACTUALLY AN OKAY GUY. 284 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,451 - IT'S AN HONOR TO BE THE NAME HE CALLS 285 00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:13,445 WHEN HE NEEDS SOMETHING. 286 00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:14,546 - VINNIE! 287 00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:15,818 - AND HONESTLY, IT'S WHAT I LIVE FOR. 288 00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:17,276 - VINNIE! [both scream] 289 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:22,921 - I FEEL SO HORRIBLE. 290 00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:24,123 - YOU SHOULD. 291 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,234 WHILE YOU WERE HITTING ON ME, 292 00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,025 YOU PUSHED YOUR NEPHEW DOWN A MOUNTAIN. 293 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,497 - IT WAS A HILL. 294 00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:30,955 IT WAS A DANGEROUS CONCRETE HILL-- 295 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,334 OH, GOD, I'M A SCREW-UP. 296 00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:34,972 - THEN IT'S TIME TO STEP UP AND BE A BETTER PARENT. 297 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,898 - I HAVE STEPPED UP. 298 00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:37,914 YOU KNOW, I-- 299 00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,835 I USED TO BE A GUY WHO WENT TO 300 00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:43,080 EVERY MOVIE, PARTY, CONCERT. 301 00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,276 NOW I'M JUST SOME GUY WHO STAYS AT HOME. 302 00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:46,908 - ARE YOU SAYING IT'S NOT WORTH IT? 303 00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:48,784 - NO. 304 00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:51,252 I-IT'S STUPID HOW WORTH IT IT IS. 305 00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:52,991 WHEN HE COMES HOME HAPPY ABOUT SOMETHING, 306 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,486 THERE IS NOTHING BETTER. 307 00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:58,958 AND WHEN HE IS SAD, IF YOU CAN GET HIM TO SMILE, 308 00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,129 IT'S LIKE WINNING THE LOTTERY. 309 00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:03,058 - LOOK, DON'T BE A NICE GUY. 310 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,333 MY LIFE WILL BE A LOT EASIER 311 00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:07,872 IF YOU'RE JUST MY IDIOT NEIGHBOR WHO MAKES ARM FARTS 312 00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:09,538 AND STEALS MY SUNDAY PAPER. 313 00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:13,071 - BE HONEST. 314 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:16,743 DO YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF SURVEILLANCE CAMERA IN THE HALL? 315 00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:18,450 - I CAME AS SOON AS I HEARD. 316 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,849 - I NOW HAVE A LEAST FAVORITE KARDASHIAN. 317 00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:32,430 - I WAS AT ARTURO'S GETTING A MAKEOVER. 318 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,425 - OH. 319 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:36,026 WELL, WHY DOES ARTURO HATE YOU? 320 00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:42,336 THIS IS MY SISTER, WILMA. THIS IS MY NEIGHBOR, TARYN. 321 00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:44,035 - I'M FROM TEXAS, HOUSTON. 322 00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:46,907 - I ALREADY DON'T CARE. HOW'S WENDELL? 323 00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:48,637 - I DON'T KNOW. THEY WON'T TELL ME. 324 00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:49,906 - HOLD ON. 325 00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:50,980 HI. 326 00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:52,408 - WILMA, GIRL, YOU ARE LOOKING GOOD. 327 00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:53,782 - CAN YOU FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON 328 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,054 WITH BASSET, COMMA, WENDELL "R"? 329 00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,578 - HE'S JUST ON HIS WAY UP FROM X-RAY. 330 00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:57,823 BROKEN ARM. 331 00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,788 - WOW, YOU REALLY KNOW YOUR WAY AROUND A HOSPITAL. 332 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:00,853 ARE YOU A DOCTOR? 333 00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:01,864 - BETTER. 334 00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:02,985 PERSONAL INJURY ATTORNEY. 335 00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:04,960 - YOU SHOULD SUE YOUR MAKEOVER GUY. 336 00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:09,404 - IT'LL LOOK GREAT ONCE YOU GO BACK AND FINISH. 337 00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:12,071 - HE WAS FINISHED. 338 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,467 SO HAS SOCIAL SERVICES COME BY YET? 339 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,539 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 340 00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:18,907 - WELL, IT'S STANDARD PROCEDURE 341 00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:20,666 WHEN THERE'S AN INJURY INVOLVING A MINOR. 342 00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:23,008 THEY INVESTIGATE TO SEE IF YOU'RE A FIT GUARDIAN, 343 00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,480 AND TRUST ME, VINNIE, 344 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:25,647 YOU ARE NOT GONNA QUALIFY. 345 00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:27,953 JUST SKIP ALL THE HASSLE AND EXPENSE 346 00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:29,818 AND SIGN HIM OVER TO ME NOW. 347 00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:31,347 - YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT TO SCARE HIM. 348 00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,051 - NO, I'M SAYING THAT BECAUSE I KNOW THE LAW. 349 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,723 I HAPPEN TO BE A VERY GOOD LAWYER. 350 00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:36,062 - YOU'RE NOT THAT GOOD. 351 00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,027 - HI, DR. DOWE. 352 00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:40,526 - GO TO HELL, BASSET! 353 00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:43,402 - UH! 354 00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:47,902 - CAULIFLOWER TUESDAY, THAT'S MASSIVE! 355 00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:51,039 - HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM? 356 00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:52,868 TRAGIC DORKING ACCIDENT? 357 00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:54,613 - NO, I BROKE IT SKATEBOARDING. 358 00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:55,737 - BOARDING? 359 00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:57,613 WHERE? 360 00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:00,310 - I WAS BOARDING DOWN DEAD MAN'S HILL. 361 00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:01,953 all: OOH! 362 00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:03,219 - GRINDING A RAIL. 363 00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:04,616 all: WHOA! 364 00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:05,747 - IN MY NEW UNDERWEAR. 365 00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:06,853 all: HUH? 366 00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:12,289 - DID I MENTION THE HILL WAS ON FIRE? 367 00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:13,462 all: OH! 368 00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:21,632 - THIS PLACE IS A MESS. WHAT HAPPENED? 369 00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:24,144 - I WAS TRYING TO FIND THE CLEANING SUPPLIES. 370 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:27,437 NOW I'M PRETTY SURE I DON'T OWN CLEANING SUPPLIES. 371 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,010 - SOCIAL SERVICES IS COMING. 372 00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,039 YOU'VE GOT TO START CLEANING, MAKING DINNER. 373 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,714 - I ALREADY MADE IT. 374 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,150 BURNED EVERYTHING. 375 00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,653 - MAYBE THEY SHOULD TAKE WENDELL FROM ME. 376 00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,290 - WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? 377 00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:41,616 - I'M NOT A FIT GUARDIAN. 378 00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:42,891 LOOK AT THIS PLACE. 379 00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:45,490 IT'S FILLED WITH TOYS, MOVIES, SPORTS JUNK. 380 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,232 IT'S NO PLACE FOR A KID. 381 00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:50,799 - YOU CAN'T GIVE UP. 382 00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:52,468 YOU HAVE TO FIGHT 383 00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:53,465 FOR WHAT YOU WANT 384 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:54,496 AND NOT SIT THERE 385 00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:57,241 LIKE A LAZY, BROKEN HALF-WIT. 386 00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:00,065 - WHOA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 387 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,773 - DID I MISREAD THE SIGNS? 388 00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:03,339 - I CALLED YOU A HALF-WIT. 389 00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:04,983 - THAT WAS THE SIGN I WAS READING. 390 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,320 - HEY, WENDELL. 391 00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:09,315 HOW WAS SCHOOL? 392 00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:10,516 - OH, IT WAS AWESOME. 393 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:11,817 PEOPLE LIKED ME TODAY. 394 00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:13,119 - REALLY? 395 00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:14,820 - YEP, WHEN I TOLD THEM I BROKE MY ARM SKATEBOARDING, 396 00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:15,962 I WAS A HERO. 397 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:17,686 THEY SIGNED MY CAST AND EVERYTHING. 398 00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:19,790 ONLY ONE KID WROTE SOMETHING DIRTY. 399 00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:23,634 - SEE? YOU'RE NOT A TOTAL DISASTER. 400 00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,130 - I'M NOT A TOTAL DISASTER! 401 00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:26,132 - RIGHT! 402 00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:27,133 SO GET UP OFF YOUR BUTT, 403 00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,474 AND CLEAN THIS PLACE. 404 00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:29,938 HEY, AND I'LL MAKE MY KUNG PAO CHICKEN 405 00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:30,937 AND SAY YOU MADE IT. 406 00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,038 - YOU WOULD DO THAT FOR ME? 407 00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:34,439 - NO, HIM. 408 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,581 THIS IS WHAT HIS PARENTS WANTED. 409 00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:38,806 YOU ARE WHAT THEY WANTED. 410 00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:40,206 - RIGHT. 411 00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,523 - RIGHT, SO LET'S MOVE THIS JUNK TO MY PLACE. 412 00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:45,845 - FINE, I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT WENDELL. 413 00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:47,323 - OH. - NO! 414 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,360 - [shrieks] 415 00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,259 - OKAY, I CARE ABOUT TWO THINGS. 416 00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:55,130 [knocking at door] 417 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,258 HE'S HERE. 418 00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:57,503 HE'S HERE. 419 00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,327 NO ONE FREAK OUT! 420 00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:03,265 - HI, I'M VINCENT BASSET. 421 00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:05,310 - SCOTT PENDERGRASS, SOCIAL SERVICES DEPARTMENT. 422 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:06,835 - OH, COME ON IN. WELCOME TO OUR HOME. 423 00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:08,114 - OH, THIS MUST BE WENDELL. 424 00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,438 - I'D OFFER MY HAND, BUT MY UNCLE BROKE IT. 425 00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,080 [stammering] 426 00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:16,081 NOT ON PURPOSE. HE DOESN'T BEAT ME. 427 00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:19,418 AND HE DIDN'T THREATEN TO BEAT ME 428 00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,849 IF I DIDN'T SAY HE DOESN'T BEAT ME. 429 00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,190 - HI, I'M TARYN, THE NEIGHBOR. 430 00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:28,302 I JUST POPPED OVER TO SEEK VINNIE'S COUNSEL. 431 00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:29,325 HE'S VERY WISE. 432 00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:32,431 - THEN IT'S SETTLED. 433 00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:34,472 YOUR DEODORANT STONE IS NOT WORKING. 434 00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:39,174 YOU'RE WELCOME, AND GODSPEED. 435 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,472 - THANKS. 436 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:44,312 - DINNERTIME! 437 00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:45,581 HEY, CARE TO JOIN US? 438 00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:48,078 - OH, NO, THANKS. I'LL JUST OBSERVE. 439 00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:50,451 SO WHAT'S FOR DINNER? 440 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:53,220 - JUST A LITTLE KUNG PAO CHICKEN I WHIPPED UP. 441 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,820 - OH, WHAT'S YOUR SECRET? 442 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,726 - YOU KNOW, FOR AN OBSERVER, YOU'RE PRETTY CHATTY. 443 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,533 - YOU KNOW WHAT? I'VE SEEN ENOUGH. 444 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,129 - MR. PENDERGRASS, WAIT. 445 00:16:04,231 --> 00:16:06,031 - I'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR A LONG TIME. 446 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:07,733 WENDELL GOT HURT. IT HAPPENS. 447 00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:09,544 BUT THIS PLACE IS SAFE. 448 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,236 YOU'RE A DECENT GUY. 449 00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:13,038 MY JOB IS TO TAKE KIDS OUT OF HOMES 450 00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,910 WHERE THEY'RE ACTUALLY IN DANGER. 451 00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:16,712 THIS CLEARLY ISN'T ONE OF THOSE HOMES. 452 00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,179 - THERE ARE PEANUTS IN THIS! WENDELL'S ALLERGIC! 453 00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:22,421 HIS THROAT'S CLOSING! 454 00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:23,545 - DO YOU HAVE AN EPIPEN? 455 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:24,720 - YEAH, I PUT IT WITH THE LIGHTSABER 456 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,887 SO I WON'T FORGET WHERE IT IS. 457 00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:27,924 IT WON'T OPEN. 458 00:16:41,268 --> 00:16:42,198 HE'S BREATHING. 459 00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:45,944 WELL, AGAIN, THANKS FOR DROPPING BY. 460 00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:56,482 - HOW IS HE? 461 00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:57,883 - HE WENT INTO ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK. 462 00:16:57,984 --> 00:16:59,824 - OH, MY GOD. - HE'LL BE FINE! 463 00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:01,119 - I AM AZIZ. 464 00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,556 - YEAH, UH, VINNIE, MY BROTHER, 465 00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:05,757 AND TARYN, HIS NEIGHBOR. 466 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,128 THIS IS MY DATE. 467 00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:09,958 - I-I'M SORRY I RUINED YOUR EVENING. 468 00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:11,097 - RUIN? 469 00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:12,768 THIS IS THE BEST PART. 470 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,965 SHE'S NOTHING LIKE HER PROFILE, YOU KNOW. 471 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,639 - LET'S JUST FINISH OUT THE DATE, AZIZ. 472 00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:19,768 I MEAN, LOOK-- 473 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,712 TRUST ME. I AM LIKE A CRACKER JACK BOX. 474 00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:24,708 EVENTUALLY, THERE IS A PRIZE INSIDE. 475 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,853 - UNLESS THE PRIZE COMES WITH PENICILLIN, 476 00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,418 I DON'T WANT IT. 477 00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:34,652 - MR. BASSET, I WAS WRONG ABOUT YOU. 478 00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,264 I LOOKED UP THE HOSPITAL RECORDS. 479 00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,656 YOU'VE BEEN TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM 13 TIMES 480 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,158 SINCE YOU'VE HAD CUSTODY OF WENDELL. 481 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,690 I'M AFRAID WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO EXPLORE 482 00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:43,264 FINDING HIM A DIFFERENT PLACE TO LIVE. 483 00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:46,602 - HEY, HEY, HEY, YOU OKAY, BUDDY? 484 00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:48,569 - HE'S FINE. HE JUST NEEDS A LITTLE REST. 485 00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,038 - I'M READY TO GO HOME. 486 00:17:50,137 --> 00:17:52,737 - WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT WHERE THAT SHOULD BE. 487 00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:56,339 - I AM GOING TO MOVE YOU INTO MY SHOE ROOM, 488 00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:59,713 AND BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, 489 00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:01,612 I'M GONNA MOVE THE SHOES. 490 00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:04,454 - DON'T LISTEN TO HER. SHE'S FULL OF LIES. 491 00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:06,418 - THIS IS CRAZY. 492 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:07,589 - YOU CAN'T DO THIS. 493 00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:08,687 - I WON'T ALLOW IT! 494 00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:13,664 I'M EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED. 495 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:14,990 - I'M SORRY. 496 00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:16,162 - HOME IS WITH VINNIE. 497 00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:18,396 - WE KNOW ABOUT THE EMERGENCY ROOM VISITS. 498 00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:21,268 - BUT THOSE VISITS WERE FOR UNCLE VINNIE, NOT ME. 499 00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:22,798 - OH, I DON'T THINK SO. 500 00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:25,002 TWISTED ANKLE DOING FLIPS OFF THE MONKEY BARS? 501 00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:26,242 - ME. - VINNIE. 502 00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:29,175 - GO-KART ACCIDENT? 503 00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:30,179 - ME. - VINNIE. 504 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:32,711 - STOMACH FULL OF NICKELS? 505 00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,512 - ALL VINNIE. I WON A BET. 506 00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:37,823 - CHECK THE REPORT. I'M THE PATIENT. 507 00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:41,647 F.Y.I. THEY DON'T COME OUT IN ROLLS. 508 00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:46,531 - WHEN I WAS CHOKING, VINNIE BROKE THE LIGHTSABER 509 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:47,926 TO GET ME THE EPIPEN. 510 00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:50,857 I THOUGHT THAT PROP WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN HIS LIFE, 511 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,033 BUT NOW I KNOW I AM. 512 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,700 MAYBE THAT'S WHY MY PARENTS PICKED HIM. 513 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,471 THEY KNEW HE'D PUT ME FIRST. 514 00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:01,266 - THAT WAS AN ORIGINAL LIGHTSABER? 515 00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:04,042 FROM EPISODE IV? 516 00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:06,351 IS THERE ANY WAY I COULD 517 00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:08,416 TOUCH IT WHEN IT'S FIXED? 518 00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:10,045 - I DON'T REALLY LIKE PEOPLE HANDLING-- 519 00:19:10,217 --> 00:19:11,077 ABSOLUTELY. 520 00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:15,285 - WELL, THESE REPORTS ACTUALLY DO LIST YOU AS THE PATIENT. 521 00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:17,963 I GUESS WENDELL CAN STAY. 522 00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:20,626 I'LL FOLLOW UP. 523 00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:22,727 - WHAT? THE MAN ATE NICKELS! 524 00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:26,695 - WE DID IT! 525 00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:33,311 - DON'T LOOK. 526 00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:35,976 - OOH. 527 00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:38,845 SOMETHING I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE? 528 00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:41,305 NOW I'M INTRIGUED. WHAT IS IT? 529 00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:43,424 IS IT BIKINI GIRLS? 530 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,316 IS IT GROSS-OUT VIDEOS? 531 00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:47,749 COMBO? 532 00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:51,721 - IT'S MY SCRAPBOOKING PROGRAM. 533 00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:52,764 - UGH! 534 00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:57,364 WENDELL, COME ON. WE TALKED ABOUT THIS. 535 00:19:57,464 --> 00:19:58,934 THE NEXT TIME I LOOK AT THIS MONITOR, 536 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,431 THERE HAD BETTER BE BOOBS. 537 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:04,666 THAT'S YOUR DAD. 538 00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:07,371 - YEAH, IT WAS OUR FISHING TRIP. 539 00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:09,284 WE DIDN'T CATCH A THING. 540 00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,676 WE JUST GOT SUNBURNED, AND THEN I GOT SEASICK. 541 00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:13,278 - THAT SOUNDS HORRIBLE. 542 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,480 - IT WAS ONE OF THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE. 543 00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:18,522 WE LAUGHED A LOT, TOLD JOKES, 544 00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:20,248 SANG BEATLES' SONGS. 545 00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:23,894 I ALWAYS THOUGHT WE'D GO BACK THERE EVERY YEAR. 546 00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:25,590 - HEY. 547 00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:27,432 I MISS HIM TOO. 548 00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,857 I MISS THEM BOTH. 549 00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:30,862 - WHEN DOES IT STOP? 550 00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:31,933 - I DON'T KNOW. 551 00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,769 I DON'T KNOW, BUT... 552 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:37,097 I'LL BE HERE WITH YOU UNTIL IT DOES. 553 00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:39,808 - THANKS, UNCLE VINNIE. 554 00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,735 - YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS WONDERED WHY YOUR PARENTS 555 00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:45,984 GAVE ME CUSTODY OF YOU. 556 00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:50,384 NOW I REALIZE THAT THEY GAVE YOU CUSTODY OF ME. 557 00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:51,723 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 558 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,415 - I THINK THEY FIGURED YOU'D BE GREAT 559 00:20:54,521 --> 00:20:56,591 NO MATTER WHO YOU LIVED WITH. 560 00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:59,659 BUT THEY WANTED TO GIVE ME A CHANCE TO GROW UP RIGHT. 561 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,559 - I'M GLAD THEY DID. 562 00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:03,731 AND I PROMISE I'LL DO SOMETHING BAD SOMETIME. 563 00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:07,525 - THAT'S ALL I ASK. 564 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,943 - IF THIS HOSPITAL HAD AN AWARDS PROGRAM, 565 00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:19,082 Y'ALL ARE ONE STUPID ACCIDENT AWAY FROM A FREE COLONOSCOPY. 566 00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:21,777 - I CAME AS SOON AS I HEARD. 567 00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:23,421 - I CAME AS SOON AS I HEARD. 568 00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:26,594 - WE KEPT IN TOUCH. 569 00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:30,488 - WHICH ONE OF YOU WAS PLAYING WITH THE SUPERGLUE? 570 00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:32,630 - I JUST WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION. 571 00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:35,425 - DON'T BLAME YOURSELF. YOU'RE JUST A KID. 38571

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