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1
00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:19,755
Eroticism can also be
a splendid litmus paper
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00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:23,190
which reveals moods, thoughts,
emotions and feelings.
3
00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:27,315
It is an expressive and ideological pickiock,
4
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:32,116
a magnifier to discover the most
deeply hidden drives of the human soul.
5
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:33,912
Like in this short movie
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00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:37,555
where the asexual behaviour
of the characters
7
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:41,639
shows us some tasty truths
about the characters themselves.
8
00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:45,799
For example, the narcissism
of how one wants to appear
9
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:50,072
often hides a person's true nature.
10
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:53,078
In this case, a chavinistic arsehole
11
00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:57,112
becomes frustrated and impotent
and his wife cheats on him.
12
00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:08,476
TINTO BRASS
presents
13
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,956
A Magic Mirror
14
00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:52,432
STOP SLOWING DOWN
15
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Back!
16
00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:43,798
Is that OK?
17
00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:03,839
Giulia!
18
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,679
Did you go to the locksmith
for the new lock?
19
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,109
1 went but it was closed.
20
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,031
And the phone connection?
21
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:17,752
I talked to Telecom,
they're coming tomorrow.
22
00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:21,873
Also, the guys for the washing machine.
1 told them to come at 11am.
23
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,989
Shit! I told you to make it 12pm.
24
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,071
They couldn't do it at 12pm.
25
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,350
They can't come here
when you want them to.
26
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:34,837
- It was at 11am or in iwo days and I said...
- Yeah, yeah. I's all right.
27
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,428
And what did the carpenter say?
28
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:44,236
It was closed as well.
There was a mad traffic jam this evening.
29
00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:47,318
I'd told you to stop by the shop.
30
00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:50,432
You don't have to necessarily
go to the one downstairs.
31
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:54,237
- You could go yourself.
- Try to remember tomorrow.
32
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Do I have to do everything?
33
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,959
Who went shopping and to buy the plants?
34
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,278
Fuck it!
35
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:11,872
What happened?
36
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,550
Nothing, nothing.
37
00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:24,271
Be careful with those plates.
They're from my mother.
38
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:25,913
Yes!
39
00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:29,112
Why don't you get out of that bath
and come and help me?
40
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,356
You've been in there for half an hour.
41
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,756
Since we've got this house
I've been doing everything.
42
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:52,512
Are you getting the door?
43
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:57,550
- Of course. Who else would get it?
- Of course!
44
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:05,311
- Hi, Walter
45
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:09,232
- Do you want a hand?
- No worries. I'll do it.
46
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:17,757
- Who is it?
- It's Walter with the new mirror.
47
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:20,792
- I bet he's having a bath.
- Good guess!
48
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:24,071
- What does he need another mirror for?
- Oh, Walter!
49
00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,358
Come here!
50
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,311
Sit down.
51
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:41,398
You're always bathing and making
yourself "pretty”. I's an obsession.
52
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:44,273
1 don't deny it. Everyone has an obsession.
53
00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:48,750
I heard you lost yesterday as well.
54
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,390
- Who told you?
- I heard it.
55
00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:56,272
People never mind their own business.
56
00:05:56,400 --> 00:06:00,075
Anyway, you deserve it. What did I tell you?
Don't listen to that arsehole.
57
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:03,192
- Let's not talk about it.
- You're just a berk.
58
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:06,392
- I told you...
- Stop it. I don't want to talk about it.
59
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:18,789
Anyway, thank you for the mirror.
Giulia can't put it up, though.
60
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,878
What does it have to do with Giulia?
It's your job.
61
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:28,272
If you did it, it'd be as if
I was doing it myself anyway.
62
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,470
1 don't understand.
63
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,909
You're doing me a favour.
64
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:36,396
- It's obvious!
- Don't talk bulishit or I'll break that mirror.
65
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:39,193
Where do you want me to put it?
66
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,151
Next to the door.
67
00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:42,793
Al right.
68
00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:09,398
How do you manage to live with him?
69
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:13,308
I've only been here for five minutes
and he's made me mad already.
70
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,395
1 know what you mean.
71
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:21,911
- Sometimes he seems a bit dumb.
- He's not at all. He's a son of a bitch.
72
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:25,271
- Don't offend your mother.
- Let's not even talk about it.
73
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:29,075
- Don't make jokes about things like that.
- Who's joking?
74
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,997
She's making me go mad.
75
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:35,877
"Sandro is so good!
Sandro said that. Sandro did that.”
76
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:41,154
What about me? Without me she'd be on
the streets. He'd never take her with him.
77
00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:43,748
It's just that you're too good.
78
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,399
You mean a berk.
79
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,590
You two are so different.
80
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,995
It's hard to believe you're brothers.
81
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:53,758
You're telling me.
82
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,360
Close to the door, OK?
83
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:09,233
Close to the door.
84
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:11,874
Not too high!
85
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,752
Not too high.
86
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:16,997
- Not too low either.
- Not too low either.
87
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:20,994
1 want to be able to see my whole body.
88
00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:24,992
Remember you're at least four inches
shorter than me.
89
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,634
Arsehole. He's a total arsehole.
90
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:32,229
- He's like that.
- He always does what he likes.
91
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,635
My mother dotes on him
because he's an actor.
92
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:38,833
And what an actor he is. In four years
he only did one photo soap opera.
93
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,635
- It's a hard profession.
- We all know what his profession is.
94
00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:48,629
- He has an audition on Monday. If...
- Again.
95
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,035
Every week there's one.
96
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,033
Hello!
97
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,472
Yes, but I...
98
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:19,354
1 don't give a toss. You should've
thought about that beforehand.
99
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:25,632
You didn't get it, then. You didn't get it.
You have to bring me the money.
100
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,230
There's fucking nothing to explain.
101
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:33,797
Listen to me. Either you bring
the money tomorrow or you're in trouble.
102
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,751
Hang up.
103
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,711
Bloody hell.
104
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,638
They all want to have a life of crime.
105
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,512
And then they shit themselves.
106
00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:45,351
Excuse me.
107
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,832
Could you give me a hand?
108
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,518
Of course.
109
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,918
- Giulia, I'm sorry.
- Fuck off!
110
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:15,876
Bloody hell, such a slap!
111
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:03,270
Instead of staying here doing nothing,
go help my brother. Go.
112
00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:07,630
1 want to be with you.
113
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:12,675
Come on, fucking hell!
He's doing us a favour.
114
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:20,191
So? Are you deaf?
115
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:23,431
Move your arse!
116
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,996
As you like.
117
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,869
The sponge.
118
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,274
So, do you still want a hand?
119
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,590
Look at your face.
120
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,315
Are you insane?
121
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:47,752
1 don't know if it's that stuff you snort
or going to the gym that makes you like this.
122
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,195
What are you doing?
123
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,390
1 was joking.
124
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,317
- Come on.
- Leave me alone.
125
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:57,749
1 was joking. Stop it.
126
00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:02,790
Go and get me the hairdryer.
127
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,278
Where is it?
128
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,470
Where do you think it is? In the kitchen?
129
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:13,036
If it's not in the bathroom,
it must be in the gym bag.
130
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,871
These fucking Sicilians.
131
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:23,069
That girl doesn't understand that if
she wants to stay, she has to work.
132
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,919
She has to work.
133
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:29,112
It won't be long
before I send her back to her village.
134
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:30,434
One second.
135
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:44,913
Do you know
what she asked me the other day?
136
00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:46,871
She comes to me and says,
137
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,719
"Can I go out with my friend?”
138
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:52,070
She said it was someone's birthday.
139
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,520
I slapped her hard.
140
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,753
All right. I'm going to dry my hair.
141
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:03,111
If I don't fix it straight away,
1 will never manage.
142
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:07,152
The other day, I had like a hom.
143
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,396
1 had to wash it again.
144
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:42,073
- Who have you had an affair with?
- Nobody.
145
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,031
- I never...
- Never?
146
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,798
Never.
147
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,195
Never say never.
148
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,231
Well. What is it?
149
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:06,193
I just wanted to check
if you needed anything.
150
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,511
That's a first.
151
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:27,991
Walter. Sandro is here.
152
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,911
- I can't, Walter.
- Why?
153
00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:36,319
Wait for him to leave.
154
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,593
And then we can do everything you want.
155
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,958
- Everything?
- Everything, yes.
156
00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:13,236
You picked the wrong brother.
157
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:14,913
Yes.
158
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,510
So, do you want me?
159
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,350
I've been wanting you for years.
160
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:49,278
You could have told me before.
161
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,951
You could have told me.
162
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,273
- I'll finish here then I'll give you a hand.
- Really?
163
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,675
1 don't need it. I've nearly finished.
164
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:15,429
What's wrong? Are you all right?
165
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,073
What's that face for?
166
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,952
I feel a bit stressed. Maybe I'm a bit tired.
167
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:26,671
Well, go to bed early
and tomorrow you'll feel fine.
168
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,479
- You're so beautiful.
- Aml?
169
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,511
Is this how you wanted it?
170
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,268
Perfect. Thank you, little Walter!
171
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,516
It's OK. It took me less than 20 minutes.
172
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:16,758
Bloody hell! You're ace. It'd take me
20 minutes to make that drill work.
173
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:18,518
You should leam.
174
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:23,111
You reckon? I want to leave
these little satisfactions to you.
175
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:25,551
Do what you like.
176
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:28,114
You look so pretty! Are you going out?
177
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,315
With friends?
178
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:34,477
- With a gorgeous chick!
- First time to shag her?
179
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,034
- Already shagged her.
- Same tactics.
180
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,390
Of course. "Would you give me a hand?”
181
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:43,511
You'll stay overnight?
182
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,956
- But you will be late?
- I don't know. Are you a detective?
183
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,798
Don't get pissed off.
184
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:53,959
- I left a bit of mess. Will you clean it up?
- Giulia will do it.
185
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,596
Can you show Walter out?
186
00:20:58,280 --> 00:20:59,633
Yes.
187
00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:03,759
For you.
188
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:09,431
- You're giving me half a million lire?
- You've been doing a lot for me.
189
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,836
By the way, can you tell Mum
I'll come and see her on Sunday?
190
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,952
She'll be happy.
Can you stay with her on Tuesday?
191
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:19,197
Tuesday? No, I can't.
192
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:23,029
- Fuck it. For once I ask you a...
- I can't, I've got something to do.
193
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:25,958
Something important. I'll tell you later.
194
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,031
- Bye, Sandro.
- See you, Walter.
195
00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:46,680
Are you coming back? I'll wait for you.
196
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,233
You bet!
197
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:52,796
- The green tie?
- With the others.
198
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,229
As soon as you see the car leaving.
199
00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:06,918
While you're waiting.
200
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,031
You're mad.
15012
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