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1
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,040
KERRY: White van I'd hazard...
2
00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:23,240
No, it's not a hazard. That's fine.
3
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:24,880
Bus stop I'd hazard.
4
00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:25,920
Why?
5
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,960
Because there's pedestrians
at the bus stop.
6
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,080
- It's a hazard, that.
- That's not a hazard.
7
00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:31,880
- You don't know what a hazard is.
- Another bus stop there.
8
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:33,560
Can you get your f... hands out?
9
00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,400
Bloke on the bike, look!
10
00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:37,200
No helmet on - hazard.
11
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:38,880
- Yes, I've hazarded it.
- Chap...
12
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:40,720
Get your hand...
I can't see the fucking screen.
13
00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:42,760
Dog! Dog there!
14
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:44,280
I'd hazard the dog.
15
00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:47,160
Failed! Well done.
16
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,600
Well, you should've hazarded that dog.
17
00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:52,400
He was on the pavement.
18
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:56,320
Yeah, well, what would you have done
if it ran out on the road, then?
19
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:57,720
Well, braked.
20
00:00:57,760 --> 00:00:59,560
You should never brake for a little dog.
21
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:00,720
Why?
22
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,560
Because... Well, yeah,
you're braking for the dog,
23
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,000
saves the dog's life,
24
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:09,080
but what about the family of four that are
ploughing into the back of you?
25
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:15,480
I can just see the headlines now -
26
00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:18,600
"Four dead, dog survives".
27
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,960
And you'd be happy with that,
would you?
28
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,280
Because that's warped.
29
00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,320
Yeah, well, some exciting news.
30
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:38,560
Er, I'm learning to drive.
I've got my provisional licence through
31
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:41,760
and the vicar said he's gonna take me
to the airfield in his car
32
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:42,920
so I can have a practice.
33
00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:45,360
- I actually can't wait for you to pass.
- I know.
34
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:49,040
Think of all the places that we're gonna
be able to go now on our own.
35
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:51,440
Yeah. Like Gloucester Services.
36
00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:52,760
Yeah.
37
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:54,520
Monkey enclosure at Longleat.
38
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:55,720
Yeah.
39
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,000
TGI Fridays.
40
00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:58,680
Frankie & Benny's.
41
00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:00,680
Jamie's Italian in Cheltenham.
42
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,160
It's closed down now.
43
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,320
- You're joking?
- No.
44
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,840
They've got YO! Sushi, though.
45
00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:08,400
Hmm...
46
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:14,000
I'm busting, Vicar!
47
00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:15,600
Yes, one moment, Len!
48
00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:17,560
- (GROANS)
- There you go, Len.
49
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:20,680
Yes, er,
50
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,040
it'll be great for Kurtan to have
his independence.
51
00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:26,840
I remember how grown-up I felt
getting my first car,
52
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:30,000
a mustard-yellow Morris Minor
called Milly.
53
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,240
She was a cracking little runaround...
54
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:35,760
...until I made the mistake
of running out of petrol
55
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:39,080
outside a Wimpy filled with skinheads
56
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:42,720
who then proceeded to jump up and down
on the roof.
57
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:46,680
She couldn't withstand the weight
of 25 pairs of Doc Martens
58
00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,240
and unfortunately
crumpled like a can of Coke.
59
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,840
Eventually, I had to be cut out
by a fireman,
60
00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:59,080
just as my sixth-form crush,
Mary Potts, walked past with her friends
61
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:02,280
on their way to the barn dance
that I never got to attend.
62
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:05,920
That's where she met Peter Ainsworth.
They're married now.
63
00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:11,280
Sorry, I'm not sure how I got
onto that. Anyway,
64
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:14,400
- we're very excited for Kurtan, though.
- LEN: Vicar!
65
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,120
There's no bog roll!
66
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:20,120
Er, well, can you...can you just hang on
till I get some kitchen roll, maybe, Len?
67
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:21,760
No.
68
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:24,280
(WHISPERS) I'm so sorry.
69
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,800
I'm just coming!
I won't be a second.
70
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,840
Come on,
I'm on the brink of disaster here.
71
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,040
So, if you want to learn
72
00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:41,440
how to drive, Kurtan,
you first need to learn how a car works.
73
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:42,680
No, I don't.
74
00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,800
So I'm just going to pop the hood up,
like this.
75
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:47,680
Vicar, this is really not necessary.
76
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,920
Just because I eat toast doesn't mean
you'd know how a toaster works.
77
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:54,040
Now, that's the sort of arrogance that'll
get you killed on the motorway, mate.
78
00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:58,640
Right, so this is the coolant reservoir
tank. Kurtan, are you listening?
79
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:00,880
Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
80
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,600
KERRY: Kurtan can't stand learning
81
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,600
anything new from anyone.
82
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:08,680
Like, he's sort of got to figure it out
himself first.
83
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,360
- Here is the oil.
- Right.
84
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,080
And this is the dipstick.
85
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,040
Yeah, I know you are,
but what's that? (LAUGHS)
86
00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:19,600
This one time, um, I was trying to
show him how to get past level five
87
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,280
on Theme Hospital,
88
00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:24,520
and he ended up throwing a Müller Corner
at me,
89
00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,600
and it hit me right there,
90
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:30,840
and I actually still have the scar there,
look. I don't know if you can see it?
91
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,800
And, um, ironically,
92
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,720
the corner of the Müller Corner
93
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:39,880
hit me right in the corner of my cornea...
94
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:44,360
...and I was standing in the corner
of the room when it happened.
95
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:47,840
I mean, spooky or what?
96
00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:58,760
- This is gonna be a brilliant day.
- (REV FRANCIS LAUGHS)
97
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:00,880
I can't wait to get my hands
on that wheel.
98
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:02,440
Ah, good.
99
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:04,080
Can I drive us to airfield?
100
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,360
Er, no, Kurtan,
you can drive when we get there.
101
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:13,680
Right... I've, um, just got to quickly
pop round to June's.
102
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,600
June's? Why?
103
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,200
I can't stand that woman.
104
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,400
I won't come in, if that's OK?
105
00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:22,880
Well, I've just got to return
a sprinkler hose I borrowed from her.
106
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:24,800
Well, can't you just do it
on the way back?
107
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:28,320
Well, er, no, because she's quite
insistent she needs it now.
108
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,440
She's opening her garden
to the public tomorrow.
109
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,080
I beg your pardon?
110
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,640
Well, she's doing one of those
open garden things.
111
00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,480
I beg your pardon?
112
00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:40,680
She's doing one of those
open garden things, you know?
113
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:42,120
- Do you hear this?
- I already knew,
114
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:44,760
but I didn't say anything because I knew
you'd react like this.
115
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,520
(GASPS) She's got some nerve, ain't she?
116
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,480
Like her garden is that good.
117
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,960
Do you know what?
That makes my blood absolutely boil.
118
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,400
Why?
119
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,240
Well, it's just the sheer arrogance of it.
120
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:56,920
It is arrogant in a way.
121
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,800
I'm sorry, I disagree.
I think it's a lovely thing to do.
122
00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:01,640
June has a lovely garden.
123
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:03,240
Unbelievable.
124
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,400
(KERRY GASPS)
50p she's charging.
125
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:23,120
KURTAN: She's charging?
Well, what's the money going towards?
126
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:24,480
Her garden.
127
00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:26,480
Her garden! Her garden!
128
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,720
Er, right, sprinkler, please, Kurtan.
129
00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:30,240
Thanks. Thank you.
130
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:32,040
Right, I'll be back in two ticks.
131
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:35,960
- I am absolutely...
- June?
132
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,600
Look how much I'm shaking with rage, Ker.
133
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:41,400
I cannot believe she is charging admission
like it's the fucking Eden Project.
134
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,360
Yeah. That's despicable.
135
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,840
She is ghastly, that woman!
Look at her.
136
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,040
- Do you know what?
- What?
137
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,840
One of my earliest ever memories,
right...
138
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,200
Hmm?
139
00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:58,960
...is, I was at the open-air pool
140
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:03,760
and I was in the changing rooms,
and June was in there, right?
141
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,160
And her towel dropped
for, like, a second.
142
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,720
I actually saw her pubes.
143
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:19,280
And they were, like, really long and wiry,
144
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,320
and I remember thinking at the time
145
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,280
they looked exactly like
the roots on a parsnip.
146
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,720
Have either of you seen Len?
147
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,280
Not for a while. Why?
148
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:30,760
It's just June said he didn't turn up
for the free meals evening
149
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,480
at the village hall last night.
150
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,280
Come to think of it, he missed
his morning, um, appointment.
151
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,040
- And...?
- Well, it's just odd.
152
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:40,400
He never misses his free meals,
and he's usually very regular.
153
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,160
That is very unlike Len,
to be fair.
154
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:46,680
Yes, look. I think I might just swing by
the lock-up and check if he's there.
155
00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:50,000
(SIGHS) Fine, but can it be quick,
please?
156
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:52,240
Seat belts, please, guys.
157
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,400
I don't need a seat belt
because I'm in the back.
158
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,480
- Yes, you do, Kerry.
- Yes, you do, Kerry,
159
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,560
because if we crash,
you'll go into the back of me
160
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,120
and I'll splat on the windscreen.
161
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,240
That's absolutely true, Kurtan.
162
00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,160
Kerry, please? Seat belt.
163
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,560
Well, I think it's ridiculous, but...
164
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:07,960
(SEAT BELT RATTLES)
165
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,960
(SIGHS) Gently! I keep saying
don't yank it, and then it'll come out.
166
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,360
- I'm not yanking it, am I?
- OK.
167
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,040
- Look, it's out now.
- Good.
168
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:16,400
KERRY: Clunk, click...
169
00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:18,400
Thank you.
170
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:19,560
(ENGINE STARTS)
171
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,680
...suck my dick.
172
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,280
- I beg your pardon?
- Nothing.
173
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:44,960
Oh, the door's closed.
174
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,080
I'll check if he's inside quickly.
175
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,240
Is he there?
176
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:05,720
Nah.
177
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:09,840
(SIGHS) Right, um, well, I'd like
to do a quick recce
178
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,720
of the marketplace, if I may.
179
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,120
All right.
180
00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:15,120
Oh, gimme a sec.
181
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,160
KERRY: What's he doing?
182
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,040
Kayleigh!
183
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,920
Oh, God, that is tragic.
184
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,800
What is?
185
00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:26,120
Kurtan's still got a thing for Kayleigh.
186
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:27,560
Oh, really? How do you know?
187
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:31,600
Because he's talking to her side on
so she can't see his birthmark.
188
00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:34,960
Oh, he shouldn't be
ashamed of his birthmark.
189
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,640
He says it's the one thing
that lets him down.
190
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:40,480
Do you know how else I know
that he fancies Kayleigh?
191
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:41,960
How?
192
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:46,440
Because in five seconds
he'll smooth his curtains, just watch.
193
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:53,200
Five, four, three, two, one...
194
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:57,000
- Absolutely predictable as hell.
- (LAUGHS)
195
00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,280
How funny.
196
00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:01,240
- (PHONE RINGS)
- Oh, who's this? Wait.
197
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,240
Oh, it's June.
I wonder if it's about Len.
198
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:05,600
Hello, June?
199
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:09,560
Oh, really? Right.
200
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:10,720
Oh, dear.
201
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,440
I'm terribly sorry, I had no idea.
202
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,840
I didn't see any scuffage on it
when I left it with you.
203
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,840
Well, I wouldn't have scuffed it
intentionally, June.
204
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,240
Well, yeah, OK.
205
00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:27,840
Well, I'm a little bit pushed for time now
but I'll see what I can do, OK?
206
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:30,600
All right. OK. Bye. Bye, June, thank you.
207
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,640
Whew! That's upset me a little bit.
208
00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:36,320
What did she say?
209
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:39,920
June says the sprinkler hose was scuffed.
210
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:42,040
I mean, if it was broken,
211
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:44,400
- then of course I'd replace it.
- Ohh!
212
00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:47,440
But a little bit of cosmetic damage -
I mean, really, what does it matter?
213
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,920
It's a hose, for heaven's sake.
214
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,960
I don't know why you give her
the time of day, to be perfectly honest.
215
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,440
She's bad news.
216
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:57,320
OK, well, just remind me to pop round
the garden centre later,
217
00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:59,520
otherwise I don't think we'll hear
the end of this, Kerry.
218
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:00,840
Right.
219
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:03,840
Here he is.
220
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,520
Yeah, you done flirting, then, have you?
221
00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:08,840
I wasn't flirting.
222
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:10,760
I don't even fancy her! God!
223
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:13,160
I wouldn't do that to Slugs, anyway.
224
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:17,640
God, you're so annoying, Kerry.
Why would you even say that?
225
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:19,440
All right, chill out!
226
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,000
Why? Do you think she was flirting?
227
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,560
She was being a bit flirty,
actually.
228
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:48,280
Right, he's not here. Let's go.
229
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:51,280
Hang on, I'm gonna pop in the shop
and see if Mrs Wicks has seen him, OK?
230
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,800
Oh, if you're going to the shop, can you
get me something real quick?
231
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:55,000
Er, yes, I suppose.
232
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,720
Can you get me some Dairylea Dunkers?
The tubes, not the breadsticks.
233
00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:58,760
Yep, OK.
234
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,600
Oh, and a bag of Quavers,
like, the grab bag.
235
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:02,640
You'll know the difference,
because it's considerably larger.
236
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:03,880
Er, OK.
237
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:05,680
Oh, and a Ripple as well
would be great.
238
00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,400
And if they haven't got that,
a Topic will be fine.
239
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:09,120
Um, also, a bottle of Coke.
240
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:11,080
Like, full-fat Coke, not Diet Coke.
241
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:13,840
Not sugar-free Coke.
And don't get me a Pepsi,
242
00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:15,520
because I will not drink it.
243
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:17,040
(SIGHS) Kurtan, anything for you?
244
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:18,440
No, just be quick.
245
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,120
Oh, and a beef baguette from the bakery
as well, please.
246
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:23,560
No, Kerry, I'm not going in the bakery.
247
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:27,000
Well, a triple sandwich from the shop
will be fine!
248
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,120
It's always a bit too much for him,
isn't it?
249
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,720
KURTAN: The vicar's a drama queen.
250
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:38,400
Plain and simple.
251
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:41,520
You know, a drama doesn't just
walk into his life willy-nilly.
252
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,160
He creates it!
253
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:46,000
And there's no place he'd rather be
than at the centre
254
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,240
of an almighty shitstorm
that he's created.
255
00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:52,800
You know, you can't save a damsel
if she loves her distress.
256
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:58,880
And you can't save someone from a shark
257
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:02,960
who's insistent on doing one of them
shark experiences
258
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,960
where you go in a cage and you're lowered
into water and you have...
259
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:10,480
Sometimes they put, like,
raw meat in the cage
260
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:13,160
so you're guaranteed to see a shark.
261
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:15,840
Hmm?
262
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:20,760
What? That's got nothing
to do with anything.
263
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,840
Has it not?
264
00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:27,080
You just wanna talk about that documentary
you watched last night about sharks.
265
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,240
A little bit, I suppose.
266
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:35,720
You'll cut that...won't you?
267
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,520
Did you wanna ask me about sharks
at any point?
268
00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:42,440
Because I did watch a really good
documentary about it.
269
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:43,960
I'd just stop.
270
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:46,360
OK.
271
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,520
You're making yourself look silly now.
272
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,600
Honestly, Vicar,
this is getting ridiculous now.
273
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,800
Kurtan, I'll be very quick.
I just wanna check with Arthur.
274
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,800
- Well, quicker, then.
- Yeah, OK, just wait there.
275
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,000
- What are you doing?
- Having a play around.
276
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,880
Fuck it, I could just drive us
to airfield now.
277
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:30,480
Yeah, but you won't.
278
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:31,800
Well, I can.
279
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:34,160
Can't, because you don't know
how to drive a car.
280
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:35,880
Er, I do know how to drive a car.
281
00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:37,320
Not like the vicar, you don't.
282
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,440
He's only in the car for me
for insurance purposes.
283
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,600
I could rag it round the village
right now.
284
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:44,880
No, you can't, because you don't even
know how to get into first.
285
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:46,360
Of course I know how to get into first.
286
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:47,600
How, then?
287
00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:48,920
Clutch down, into first.
288
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,120
Yeah, how does first go? Across...
289
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,920
Oh, fuck, it's Mandy.
290
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,040
Oh, for fuck...
Keep your head down.
291
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:56,080
She's seen us as well.
292
00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:59,280
KURTAN: (WHISPERS)
What's she pointing for? Fuck.
293
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,600
Oh. All right, Mand?
294
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,440
All right? Yeah.
295
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,840
Where have you...where have you been?
Into town, have you?
296
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,120
Yeah.
297
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:33,480
Just on your, er, way back from town,
are you?
298
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,160
Yeah.
299
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:38,680
Cool.
300
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:48,560
What's in that bag?
301
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,280
- What, this?
- Yeah.
302
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:51,920
That's just a brick in a pillowcase.
303
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:53,800
- OK.
- (ENGINE STARTS)
304
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:56,720
I think we've gotta go, actually.
It's a no-waiting zone here.
305
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:58,480
- See you, Mand!
- What are you doing?
306
00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:00,400
Getting away from that fucking nutcase.
307
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:05,080
- Kur! Kur!
- Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck, it's a dead end.
308
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:06,520
(KERRY GASPS)
309
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:08,680
Oh, fuck!
310
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,920
- You stalled.
- Yes, I know I've fucking stalled.
311
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,080
Reverse. Go into reverse.
312
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,280
Kur!
313
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:15,760
- Yes.
- Reverse.
314
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,480
- How?
- Go into reverse.
315
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,200
- That's it, down like that.
- Yeah.
316
00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:21,960
Right? Check your mirrors,
go round... Like this.
317
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:28,920
That's it, that's it, that's it,
that's it, keep going.
318
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,560
Keep going, you've got plenty of room,
plenty of room, plenty of...
319
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,080
- (CRASH)
- Stop!
320
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,520
Oh, fuck! What was that?
What was that?
321
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,840
- Recycling bin.
- Oh, for fuck...
322
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:39,800
Just get out the car,
get out the car.
323
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:42,360
- For fuck's sake.
- Put the handbrake on, then.
324
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,680
It is on!
325
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:46,440
Fuck's sake.
326
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:50,480
Right, we've got plenty of room here,
plenty of room.
327
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:51,960
(RECYCLING BIN RUMBLES)
328
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,440
Right, that's it.
329
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,080
(ENGINE REVS)
330
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:56,440
What...?
331
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,120
(PANTS) Thanks for that.
332
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:19,520
Vicar's coming.
333
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:30,840
- The car's the wrong way round.
- Huh?
334
00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:32,680
The car's the wrong way round.
335
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:34,360
Oh, fuck!
336
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,240
It's too late to turn it round.
337
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:38,160
- He's gonna go apeshit.
- Don't fucking say anything.
338
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,400
He can't have a go at me,
I'm just an innocent passenger.
339
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,320
Sorry about that, folks.
340
00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:45,600
I was trying to make it quick,
341
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:49,320
but Arthur wanted me to help him
with his Sky box.
342
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:53,600
And, unfortunately,
he hasn't seen Len either.
343
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,080
So...
344
00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:58,640
- Is everything all right?
- Yeah, fine.
345
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:00,200
Right.
346
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,680
(ENGINE STARTS)
347
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,480
KURTAN: Vicar is so unobservant.
348
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:14,680
Isn't he?
349
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,280
Yeah, like, we changed the screensaver
on his phone
350
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:20,520
from a picture of his wife
at Warwick Castle
351
00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:22,600
to a picture of Lucy Pinder topless,
352
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,920
and he didn't notice for, like, two years.
353
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,360
Nah.
354
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,080
I'm actually a bit worried about it.
355
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,400
I think he's got signs
of early-onset dementia.
356
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:31,600
Yeah.
357
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,240
Either that, or he just loves big honkers.
358
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,280
Honkers? What's honkers?
359
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:39,680
Conkers.
360
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:41,960
Shooters.
361
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,280
Norks.
362
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:44,440
Oh, don't do that.
363
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:46,680
(CLATTER)
364
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,240
What are you pulling over for?
365
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,240
Now, look...
366
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:58,720
KURTAN: Huh?
367
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:00,760
I think we should head back
to the bowls club.
368
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,120
It's the only place we haven't tried.
369
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:03,960
- Oh, my God.
- Hang on a sec!
370
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:07,000
Kurtan, right, has been
so patient with you,
371
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:10,040
and you've been breaking promises
left, right and centre, have you not?
372
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:11,400
Yes. Look...
373
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:14,480
I'm sure that the village can cope
without you for half an hour.
374
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,600
I know, Kerry, and I understand
but... (SIGHS) ...look.
375
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,160
It's just that we have to...
376
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,400
(PHONE RINGS)
377
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:21,880
Sorry.
378
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:25,040
- Oh, no, it's June.
- Don't answer it, don't answer it.
379
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:26,200
Yeah.
380
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,920
Honestly, people like Len and June
are gonna be the death of you.
381
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,600
Now, let's just switch your phone off,
right?
382
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:33,480
And we'll just go for a drive.
383
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:37,320
- Yes.
- Yeah?
384
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:38,880
Yes, you're right.
385
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,720
Go away, June.
386
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,840
Yeah, get stuffed, June.
387
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,960
Yeah, parsnip pubes.
388
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,480
Enough!
389
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,600
What?
390
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:11,160
REV FRANCIS: OK, Kurtan.
391
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,240
So, gently off the clutch,
gently accelerate.
392
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:17,000
That's it. Now let's build up
a little bit of speed. Very nice, Kurtan.
393
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:20,160
- Take it nice and slow, that's fine.
- Yeah.
394
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,360
OK. Gently on the accelerator.
395
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:23,960
KERRY: That's it, check your mirrors.
396
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,360
- Yes, quite right, Kerry.
- Yes, I have.
397
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,240
Check mirrors, Vicar.
He didn't check that one.
398
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:29,040
Yes, well, I can't see
anything out of the rear-view mirror,
399
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:30,960
having your big, bloated
John Travolta head...
400
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,200
REV FRANCIS: Kurtan!
401
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:35,400
Well, I can't listen to two people
at the same time, I'm afraid.
402
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,560
KERRY: Look, Vics, pass me
that little tin of sweets
403
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:40,240
and I'll just keep myself entertained,
like.
404
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:41,840
There you go, Kerry.
405
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:47,600
OK. Now...can you indicate as if
you're going to pull over,
406
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:49,600
brake slightly,
407
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:53,080
foot down on the clutch,
two hands on the wheel...
408
00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:54,520
Kurtan, two hands on the wheel!
409
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,720
Sorry. Muscle memory from impressing birds
at the Dodgems.
410
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:01,480
And pull in anywhere on
the left-hand side.
411
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:11,680
REV FRANCIS: Isn't this lovely?
412
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,640
It's quite nice to
get out of the village.
413
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,720
KERRY: Yeah. And you need to relax
an' all, don't you, Vics?
414
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:20,600
(EXHALES) I do.
415
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:24,280
You worry too much about
what other people think
416
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:28,240
and not enough about what you yourself
think about you.
417
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:31,480
- Yeah, you're a people-pleaser, Vicar.
- You're a people-pleaser.
418
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,600
- But you can't please everyone.
- No.
419
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:35,960
Yeah.
420
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,360
Yes, I suppose I am. (CHUCKLES)
421
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:43,160
Well, yeah, even at school,
I always wanted everyone to like me. Huh!
422
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:48,320
I think a lot of my anxieties come
from my father, actually.
423
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,720
- Why?
- Well...
424
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:55,120
- Was he like you?
- Gosh no!
425
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:56,640
He was actually a bit of a brute.
426
00:21:56,680 --> 00:22:00,040
- He hit you?
- No! No. Well...
427
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:01,440
He did?
428
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,600
- Well...
- Well, what did he do?
429
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,680
Well, I mean, there was...
430
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:12,120
There was... All right. There was this
one time when I was in grammar school
431
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,640
and, you know, I'd worked all summer
to save up money
432
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:19,480
to pay for this... (LAUGHS)
...this pastel-yellow suit jacket
433
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,560
with sewn-in shoulder pads.
434
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,200
- Are you joking?
- No, I'm not.
435
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:29,120
I know it sounds bizarre, but it was
the height of fashion in the mid-'80s.
436
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:32,320
Plus, I was a massive Duran Duran fan.
437
00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:35,960
Anyway, when I walked through
the front door,
438
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:40,280
my father grabbed me
and he pulled me in
439
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:46,880
and he'd been, er, entertaining some
of his friends from the Rotary Club,
440
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,000
and he pulled me into the dining room...
441
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,600
...and I could tell he'd had a few,
because his breath was acrid.
442
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:58,200
(SIGHS) "Look at my son Francis,"
he sniggered.
443
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:01,120
"Look how wide his shoulders are!
444
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:04,520
"We'll have to take the door frames off
just so he can fit through the door!"
445
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,600
And then he, um...
Then he paraded me round the room
446
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,880
like I was some sort of circus sideshow,
447
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:15,880
and, huh, his friends laughed
and they laughed
448
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:17,880
and they laughed and...
449
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,040
So your dad was a bit of a joker, then?
450
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:22,440
Well, um...
451
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,160
You could say that.
452
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:29,520
Anyway, by then,
I'd just about had enough of it
453
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:30,920
and, er...
454
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:35,520
...as I wriggled out of my father's grip,
455
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:41,000
I... I accidentally shunted one of
my mother's favourite picture frames
456
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:44,400
off the wall and it smashed on the floor.
457
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,760
My mother burst into tears...
458
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:56,000
...and my father said,
"Look at what you've done, Francis!
459
00:23:56,040 --> 00:24:01,040
"Look at what your loud fashion has done
to your mother's favourite picture frame!"
460
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:06,600
Well, I... I just felt awful.
461
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:14,120
I remember just locking myself in my room,
my eyes were stinging with tears. Huh.
462
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,280
I never wore that jacket again.
463
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:26,000
And from then on...
464
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:32,920
...I vowed that I would never...ever
465
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:37,040
make anyone feel as rotten
as he made me feel that day.
466
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,080
He never hit you, though?
467
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:44,480
He just took the piss out your jacket,
right?
468
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,320
Well, there were other times.
469
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:51,840
Anyway, I suppose I've been, er...
470
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:55,600
Oh, I suppose I've been overcompensating
ever since.
471
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:02,960
Well, no-one's perfect, Vicar.
472
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,480
No, that's right.
You got that right there.
473
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:09,400
Even Jesus wasn't perfect.
474
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:11,840
He had loads of faults, apparently.
475
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:14,320
Like what?
476
00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:16,280
Well, he was really into prostitutes.
477
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:17,920
- No...
- He was.
478
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:20,640
- No. Who told you that, Kerry?
- No, it was Mary Magdalene or someone.
479
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:22,400
- Oh.
- And apparently, also,
480
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:24,360
he was massively sarcastic.
481
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:25,920
- Sarcastic?
- Yeah.
482
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,840
- Who did you hear that from?
- Mandy told me.
483
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,840
- Mandy?
- Yeah, because there was this one time
484
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:35,560
where 5,000 people went round
to his house and said,
485
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,080
"Oh, I heard you got
a load of food for us,"
486
00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:44,400
and he goes, "What? The two fish and the
five loaves that I've got in the fridge?"
487
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,680
And they were like, "Yeah,"
and he was like,
488
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:51,400
"Oh! OK! I'll just rustle that up for you,
then.
489
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,520
"How many of you is there?
Just the 5,000 of you, is it?"
490
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:57,360
And they were like, "Yeah."
491
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,720
Hmm... Well, I'm...
492
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:06,080
I'm not sure Mandy's the right person
to go to
493
00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:10,360
for biblical interpretation, Kerry.
494
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,400
We'll read it sometime.
495
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:30,920
KERRY: Garden centre.
496
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,600
Mm? Garden centre?
497
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,720
To get June a new sprinkler hose.
498
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,880
You said to remind you.
499
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:38,080
Remember?
500
00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:40,600
You know what?
I don't think I will.
501
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,280
She's one of the main contributors
to my stress,
502
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:47,080
and I suspect I'll have some rather barbed
voicemails from her
503
00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:48,800
when I switch my phone back on.
504
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:55,640
REV FRANCIS: Oh, no...
505
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,640
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
- KERRY: What's going on?
506
00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:59,440
REV FRANCIS: What's this?
507
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:00,960
KURTAN: Oh, my God.
508
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,240
KERRY: What...?
509
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:13,800
REV FRANCIS: Oh, God.
510
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,600
Len!
511
00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:20,800
Len, are you all right?
512
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,040
(LEN GROANS)
513
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:23,400
Arthur, what happened?
514
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:26,320
I found him.
I found him under a bush.
515
00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:28,200
He was sparked out.
516
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:31,000
It's dehydration, they reckon,
you know?
517
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:34,080
- Silly bugger.
- Oh, well, thank God you found him.
518
00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:37,640
Well, if it hadn't been for the flies
buzzing around his stink,
519
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:39,360
I don't think I would've.
520
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:43,360
Yeah, well, another hour,
he would've been a goner.
521
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,720
Well done, Arthur. Well done.
522
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:49,040
Now, you get yourself better,
you old git!
523
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:52,080
Hey? I need you around
to make me look good.
524
00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:53,920
LEN: Yeah! Stop!
525
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:57,560
Well, that's more like it.
526
00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:00,760
Is it wrong that I'm absolutely
buzzing off of this?
527
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,800
- Nah, it's brilliant.
- My chest, my heart.
528
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:06,680
This turned out to be
529
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,080
- one of the best days of my life.
- Yeah.
530
00:28:08,120 --> 00:28:12,200
Second to the time
on the village Bonfire Night
531
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:13,720
when a Catherine wheel got jammed
532
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:17,080
and it just kept firing at Mrs Wicks
on the cake stall,
533
00:28:17,120 --> 00:28:18,560
and she was so frightened,
534
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,800
she's just stood there and she opened
her mouth to scream,
535
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:24,160
and no sound came out.
536
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,080
Kurtan does a very good impression of it,
don't you?
537
00:28:29,120 --> 00:28:30,320
Yeah.
538
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:32,840
Well, do it, then.
539
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:41,560
Exactly like that.
540
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:47,760
Do your impression of Farmer Jenkins
finding out his wife's dead.
541
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,200
Nah, not in front of them.
542
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:03,320
REV FRANCIS: Yes, Len's doing much better.
543
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,560
They kept him in overnight.
544
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,400
I went to visit him this morning,
545
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:09,840
and he seems to be getting back
to his old self.
546
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:14,280
Turns out he drank some stagnant water
from a birdbath
547
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:17,760
and lost a lot of fluids
from having the squits,
548
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:20,800
um, but I got him a mobile phone,
549
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:23,480
and should anything like this
happen again,
550
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:25,560
he can just ring me,
551
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:28,800
and next time I won't have my phone
switched off.
552
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:31,560
It was a close call and certainly,
for me, a lesson learned.
553
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:32,920
(PHONE RINGS)
554
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:36,320
Oh, that's Len now.
555
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:40,280
Hello, Len.
556
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,800
Sorry, what's that?
557
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:45,400
Oh, crisps!
558
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:46,720
OK.
559
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:50,320
Is there...is there anything you fancy
that has slightly less salt in it, Len?
560
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,400
It might be better for you at the moment.
561
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:58,120
No? OK, crisps it is, I shall
get you crisps, Len. Anything else?
562
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:04,560
Brassed Off on DVD? Fine. I shall have
a look in the library, Len. (CHUCKLES)
563
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:06,360
How are you feeling, any...?
564
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:07,560
(STUTTERS)
565
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:10,040
Bye. Bye, Len. Bye.
566
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:19,680
KERRY: Shh!
567
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:21,720
You gotta see this. This is brilliant.
568
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:23,800
No-one's been in.
Not one single person.
569
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:25,680
- How long has it been now?
- About four hours.
570
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:26,800
Four hours.
571
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:28,320
And she reduced it down to 20p
as well.
572
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:30,040
How desperate is that? Look.
573
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,040
She's packing up,
she's packing up.
574
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:35,800
KURTAN: Brilliant, simply brilliant.
I hope she's utterly crushed by this.
575
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,360
Do you know what?
She couldn't even rely on the vicar...
576
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:39,880
- Yeah.
- ...to turn up.
577
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,080
Because if you alienate your friends,
your friends will alienate you.
43910
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