Original subtitles

♪

♪

[ Hip�hop music playing ]

[ Rapping ] ♪ I�m watching "Friday the 13th" with Freddy Krueger ♪

♪ After that it hurts with some heavy lube her ♪

♪ Puts a hole in your panties like Roman Polanski ♪

♪ Every moment they ask me how my flow is so nasty ♪

♪ Success my middle name Hey, RG, who are them old guys

yelling stuff on the stage?

That is the world�famous,

legendary hip�hop group New York New York.

They came to promote their new audio book,

"We from [bleep] New York."

They are a rare breed of rapper.

A species on the brink of extinction.

Oh, my God!

Well, we need to keep �em alive!

The only thing that can keep a prehistoric rap group alive

is homage.

And as you can see, they ain�t gettin� much.

Well, I�m gonna give �em some.

Yo, hold on, B. You want selfies,

you gotta get on the line, dawgs.

Yeah, you gotta get in line, dawgs.

But there ain�t no line. Sching!

Yo, word, yo, yo �� Yo, chill, chill.

Let him through, fam.

The name�s Cornell.

I�m Keith.

This is Fredro, Chop Cheese, L Train,

Big Bodega, Denim God,

and...I forget the rest.

Cool.

Get out of here, goober.

Yo, for real, B?

We got a real live fan of our music,

and y�all wanna run him away?

Um, actually, I�m �� I�m not a fan of your music,

but I just came over here

to keep y�all from getting extinct.

Word. And just for payin� homage to the gods,

we �bout to give you your own hip�hop name.

Yo, where the hip�hop name generator at, son?

I�m right here, god.

What�s your full name, B?

Cornellious Ephram Jelly.

[ Beeping ] Not no more.

Your new name is Naughty Yankee Cakes.

[ Gasps ] His initials is NYC.

I ain�t never seen that happen before, man.

Yo, we gotta give him a chain, son.

Fulfill the prophecy, lil� nigga.

It�s your turn.

Cool! Hey, uh, just curious ��

How do 100 members survive on the road

after airfare, hotels, and food?

Cornell: [ Laughing ] I mean, you guys can�t be making no money at all.

What�s food, B?

Yo, forget about the food and the bread, yo.

We do this for the seeds, B.

Now, you know I�d do anything for the children, B.

But a nigga is type starvin�, yo.

Hey, why don�t you stay at my house?

We got plenty of room, lots of food, and it�s free.

Well, we don�t usually stay with fans for free.

But, uh, since you, like, an honorary member now,

have your mommy make us some meat loaf.

Oh...my God?

Thank you?

Slam.

♪

This is ridiculous, god. I hate this place.

Yo, B, there gotta be some hardcore fans somewhere around here

that would give us some homage.

Hey, y�all say you�re for the children.

My school got a lot of children.

Maybe y�all could find some homage there.

Or some children.

Yo, real talk �� yo, yo, for real,

for real talk, for real,

you dumb smart, yo.

I�m glad we made you a member, B.

Slam.

�Come on, man. �Give me the covers, son.

�Treat me like a bodega. �I�m tryin� to, B.

�Grab me. �No [bleep] you grab me.

I grab you every night, B. �9/11 was not a conspiracy.

Keith: Oh, man, it was a conspiracy. Them planes was ��

Fredro: Never dis��

♪

Yo, yo, yo, everybody, settle down.

Today, we got some very special guests, B.

Pioneers of the rap game, if you will.

Yo, give it up for hip�hop.

Hip�hop, hip�hop.

Yo, give it up for real hip�hop.

[ Coughs ]

Um, what do y�all do, again?

We put [bleep] in yo mouf, mother[bleep]

Yeah, foot longs, mother[bleep]

Whoa, gentlemen, please watch your language.

Sorry, Mr. Amistad. [ Scoffs ]

We put [bleep] in yo mouf, little boy.

Yo, come o�� Yo, nah, nah, man, we don�t do that.

We rappers, yo. Come on.

Y�all ain�t never heard our hits?

"I�m From New York"? "New York Is My Home"?

"That Ain�t No Sandwich, Nigga, That�s Brooklyn"?

Oh, my God! Oh, I get it.

Which one of y�all is Redman?

Nah, man, we not ��

Yo, look us up on the World Wide Web, yo.

[ Music playing over smartphone ] Y�all came out in 1991?

That�s when my daddy was born!

[ Laughter ]

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on, guys!

Just because we never heard of any of their music

doesn�t mean you gotta be mean.

So what if they wear Timberlands in the summer with shorts?

So what if they got gray hair

and smell like blunts and Wallabees?

They�re still my friends.

Come on.

Can�t y�all just give them a little bit of homage?

Yo, Mr. Jean Jacket�s at it again!

Everybody, come look at my phone!

♪ I been in them streets like a stop sign ♪

♪ Stop sign ♪ You say you in them streets

♪ Boy, stop lyin�

♪ Stop lyin� ♪ Whole team full of winners

I wish he came for show�and�tell instead of these niggas.

♪

Y�all call this music?

Yo, Mr. Amistad, do something

about this disrespect, man.

Nah. [ Chuckles ]

This is my jam, too.

Yo, Fredro, show these children niggas what time it is.

Slam.

[ Digital powering up ]

[ Laser firing ]

Now, since y�all don�t wanna come up off the homage,

we gon� have to earn �� I mean, we gon� have to take it.

♪

Hey, check, one, two. Hey, hey, check.

This thing recording? Hey.

Attention all teachers and students.

[ Microphone feedback ]

Your school is gettin� hijacked, B!

[ Screaming, indistinct shouting ]

♪ ...like a symphony, then I�m Quincy Jones ♪

This is all your fault, Cornell.

Should�ve paid homage, B.

[ Sirens wail, tires screech ]

♪ I make punk rock for dumb [bleep] ♪

A�ight, it�s time to get some workout in.

Now, I need you to walk fast around the whole gym

with your pants sagging.

I wanna see asses out, son!

Let�s get it! [ Whistle blares ]

�I will not take my jeans �� �I wanna see asses out, dawg.

[ School bell rings ]

A�ight, boom.

When you multiply the B, B, you get two Bs, B.

But when you add knowledge, knowledge,

self, born, power to understanding,

you get the black man is god.

♪ ...you bitchin�, do dishes, I�m in sync with the flow ♪

♪ I ain�t Timberlake, my shit is great, I think that you know ♪

♪ Bring in some droves, singing with hoes ♪

[ Alarm blaring ]

[ All coughing ]

[ Inhales sharply ] Yo, get y�all asses off the floor.

Puff on this.

[ Alarm blaring, students coughing ]

[ High�pitched beeping ]

[ Giggles ]

Uh�huh.

Aye, whatchu doing, my boy?

I�m in here takin� a woo woo.

Cornell, listen.

This whole takeover thing

has gotten out of hand.

If it doesn�t stop now,

the whole school could be in danger.

You don�t know how it feels to not be recognized.

But I do, and it�s not cool.

Now, they�re not dangerous.

They just want a little homage.

Oh, yeah?

[ Groaning ]

[ Gasps ]

Narrator: [ Over tape player ] And in the early �90s,

28,000 niggas in Polos, Wallabees, baggy jeans,

gold teeth, and wheat Tims came together

to form the legendary group ��

Yo, god, I don�t think hijacking the school

is a good idea.

Somebody gonna get hurt, B.

Yo, let this be a lesson to you.

When people not paying you your homage,

you get up in they ass and ��

Police: Attention, elderly men

that are holding the children hostage.

We still don�t know who you are yet,

but we�re trying to look you up on the Internet. [ Keys clacking ]

Yo, what�s the Internet, B?

The World Wide Web.

Oh, oh, oh, okay.

Oh, wait. Okay, we found it.

Oh, you�re some bitter old rap guys.

Well, look, we�re gonna need you guys

to let the kids go so we can blow up the building.

[ Indistinct shouting ] Please, just do what they say!

Yo, we not doing nothing

until we get paid some homage.

Yo, come to the gym quick.

I think we got some homage.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

[ Helicopter blades whirring ]

[ All gasp ]

[ Bang ]

Now, you see this?

This is homage.

It�s a�ight.

But they should�ve dipped �em in that blue and cream.

Word up, and let this be a lesson to you all.

Don�t nobody [bleep] with New York [bleep]

Yo, it�s a ambush, B!

[ Guns cock ]

[ Glass shatters ]

[ Guns cock ]

They got us outnumbered.

Not no more they don�t.

[ Digital powering up ]

[ Warble ]

Moosefoot Candle Star!

Midnight Sand Dominator!

Desperado Swami Watcher!

Thunderous Wizard Prophet!

Childish Gambino!

Give us the kids!

Hey, yo, give me the homage, son,

or Mr. Amistad gettin� a buck fifty across his throat.

[ Whimpers ]

Yo, Fredro, show �em where we from.

We from [bleep] New York.

New York ain�t scared of nobody.

Aaaaah, slam!

[ Lasers firing ]

♪

Ah! Suckas.

Ah, he stuck me!

Oh! Ah!

Ooh! Oh!

Watch it! I got it!

[ Gunfire ]

Remember what I forgot to tell you!

The only way to end this episode

is to release the Spirit of New York.

Also, remember what I forgot to tell you.

Take the chain off, turn it over,

rub it three times,

and then read the inscription on the back.

[ Twinkling ]

Hmm.

...Yurt?

[ Explosion ]

♪

[ Wind howling ]

♪

New York, come on, a�ight?

[ Woman screams ]

Slam?

Yo, come on, man. What we doin�, man?

Homage ain�t about takin� this or takin� that,

holding them up at the bodega.

You gotta treat these niggas like chop cheese

and let �em come to you.

We gotta show these young boys how to put on denim drawers.

We gotta let �em know it�s New York, baby.

Don�t ever let anyone tell you it�s not.

[ Mutters indistinctly ]

♪

Bring it in, yo.

[ Singing gibberish parody of "Fantasy" ]

Yo, Naughty, the Spirit of New York is in you now.

[ Singing gibberish ]

♪

♪

♪

Man: Hey, hemi, that�s my hot deg!