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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:28,698 ♪ 2 00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:34,504 ♪ 3 00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:40,343 ♪ 4 00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:45,811 Hey, baby. 5 00:00:45,812 --> 00:00:47,752 Just because your bones are broke 6 00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,578 dont mean you have to be. 7 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:52,123 Wesley Patterson helped me sue NASA, 8 00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:53,649 and they gave me my own planet! 9 00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:57,264 He got me $75 trillion and this small hat. 10 00:00:57,257 --> 00:01:00,257 Have you ever said "Ahh! Oooh!" 11 00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:02,300 or "Damn, that hurts!" 12 00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:03,826 and didnt get paid for it? 13 00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:06,770 Im personal‐injury attorney Wesley Patterson, 14 00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,597 better known as "Big Daddy Claim." 15 00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:10,842 ♪ Big Daddy Claim! ♪ ♪ Big Daddy Claim! ♪ 16 00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:13,167 Any lawyer can get you the money you deserve, 17 00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:15,843 but I can get you that money you dont deserve. 18 00:01:15,842 --> 00:01:17,382 Call me now. And remember ‐‐ 19 00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:19,877 get hit in the ass, Ill get you cash! 20 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,550 Or the other one you can remember is, 21 00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:24,478 one mans crash is another mans cash. 22 00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:25,894 Or another one is, uh ‐‐ 23 00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:28,886 [ Announcer speaking rapidly, indistinctly ] 24 00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:36,757 And welcome back to "The Steve Harvey Show." 25 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:39,973 Now, we are here with the sexy ‐‐ and I mean sexy ‐‐ 26 00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:44,567 star of "Django: the Musical" ‐‐ Tyrese Gibson. 27 00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:47,411 Dad! You always ruin Tyrese interviews. 28 00:01:47,407 --> 00:01:49,537 I wish I was adopted. 29 00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:51,113 You are adopted. 30 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,311 Im adopted? 31 00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:56,682 [ Cries ] 32 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,620 Yeah, what the hell, Barry? 33 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,422 Tyrese is giving away free tickets if you can say 34 00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:04,963 "Shayla" 30 times in one minute. 35 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:08,698 I turned the TV off so I can turn you on. 36 00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:10,255 What are you you talking about, [bleep]? 37 00:02:10,263 --> 00:02:11,803 Thats not my name tonight. 38 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,068 The name is Niggalicious. 39 00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:17,569 Ew. Dad, do you seriously 40 00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:19,311 have to do this right now, in front of me? 41 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,976 Where else are you gonna learn about the birds and the bees? 42 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:25,845 Porn, like every other normal adolescent American. 43 00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:28,246 Man, I thought we was gonna do something exciting, 44 00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:29,918 like play Yahtzee or something. 45 00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:32,716 Well, there is a Yahtzee party happening in my pants, 46 00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:34,849 and you are the only one invited. 47 00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:36,185 Oh, God. Oh. 48 00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:37,559 Oh. This is child abuse. 49 00:02:37,557 --> 00:02:38,957 You want some of this, too? 50 00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:40,389 No. 51 00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:42,134 Then, shut the [bleep] up and get the [bleep] out the kitchen, 52 00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:45,269 cause Martha Stewart is about to bake this [bleep]. 53 00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:47,565 Im gonna throw up. 54 00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:49,797 Barry, this is boring as hell. 55 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:52,543 A bitch like me dont like all this romanticism. 56 00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:53,739 I need excitement in my life. 57 00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:55,380 We dont have paper towels? 58 00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:58,805 Well, excuse me for trying to give a little D to my big D. 59 00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:00,412 KY: We dont have any paper towels. 60 00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:02,224 Im going out to drink and drive. 61 00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:04,545 [ Glugs, belches ] 62 00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:06,651 KY: In my sock right now, like ‐‐ like ‐‐ 63 00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:08,823 I tried riding the pony, but it didnt work. 64 00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,592 Welp, time for phase two. 65 00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:14,230 ♪ 66 00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:16,857 [ Horns honking ] 67 00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:23,835 [ Tires squeal ] 68 00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:28,007 ♪ 69 00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:29,878 [ Tires screech ] 70 00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:33,311 Ow! 71 00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:34,853 [ Crowd gasping, muttering ] 72 00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:38,418 My neck, my back, my neck and my back. 73 00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:39,618 The police on their way. 74 00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,589 Aw, lady, stop acting like you hurt. 75 00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:43,058 Look what you did to my car! 76 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,716 ‐Maam, youre under arrest. ‐The hell?! 77 00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,325 Maam, stop resisting. 78 00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:49,126 Get yo mitts off me! 79 00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:51,099 Is there a problem here, officers? 80 00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:52,268 Wait a minute. 81 00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:54,895 You that fine ass sexy bar of milk chocolate 82 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,741 from the TV, Wesley Patterson. 83 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,607 Not you again. Look, Big Daddy Claim... 84 00:03:58,605 --> 00:04:00,735 ♪ Big Daddy Claim! ♪ ♪ Big Daddy Claim! ♪ 85 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,511 This woman has obviously been drinking, 86 00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:04,039 and she hit this poor, old lady. 87 00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:07,714 First of all, officers, this poor old lady cannot be trusted. 88 00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:10,224 And thats because this poor old lady really is... 89 00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:11,917 ta‐da! Grown‐ass man! 90 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,948 All right, all right. Damn, bro. 91 00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:16,224 I was gonna get my [bleep] braided this week, bro. 92 00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:17,423 Damn. See? 93 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,494 She is most definitely is a man, 94 00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:22,103 and Im about to take her him ass to court. 95 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,555 Bro, bro, here, bro, look. 96 00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:24,763 Just take this, bro. 97 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,625 I cant go back to jail, bro. 98 00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:28,173 I got priors, bro. 99 00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:32,368 I think your work is done here, bitch boys in blue. 100 00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:33,812 Wow! 101 00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:36,637 You make me want to start a new relationship with you. 102 00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:38,043 This is what you do? 103 00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:39,284 [ Laughs ] 104 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,019 Theres more where that crash came from, baby. 105 00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:44,515 I like your drunk driving technique. 106 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,118 Here. Take my number. 107 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,419 Why, thank you. But I dont know. 108 00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:50,221 I usually dont take numbers from strangers. 109 00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:53,663 Bitch, I aint no stranger. I got diamond shoes. 110 00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:56,701 The name is Debbie, Daddy. 111 00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:58,396 But you can call me "Debbie" for short. 112 00:04:58,398 --> 00:05:00,098 [ Chuckles ] 113 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,740 You got an exciting future ahead of you, Debbie, for sure ‐‐ 114 00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,437 as long as Wesley is in it. 115 00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:07,638 Be safe. And if you dont... 116 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:10,906 call me. 117 00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:17,218 Are you sure this gonna work? 118 00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:19,547 Samuel Desean: Have most black men been shot by the police? 119 00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,153 Of course! 120 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,194 Im just gonna walk you through, and tell you what to say and do. 121 00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:24,420 [ Car approaching ] 122 00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:26,194 Oh, [bleep]! Shes here! 123 00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:27,763 She just pulled up! 124 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:30,231 Samuel Desean: Okay. Now, its time to bring out the big guns. 125 00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:32,070 Just do as I say. 126 00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:40,269 ♪ 127 00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:42,610 Mm, mm, mm. 128 00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:44,909 My African Nubian queen. 129 00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:47,351 Youve been marching through my mind all day. 130 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:50,977 Now why dont you relax, and let me wade in that water? 131 00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:53,554 Put this Huey P in your Newton. 132 00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:54,753 Wait a minute. 133 00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:56,124 Samuel Desean, is that you? 134 00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:57,762 You know you done [bleep] up, right? 135 00:05:57,757 --> 00:05:59,487 Damn it. I told you this wasnt gonna work. 136 00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:02,232 Barry, I cant believe you tried to get in my drawls 137 00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:04,029 using Samuel Deseans tired‐ass lines. 138 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,600 It worked in 1995 with your bald ass. 139 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,130 Wait a minute. Who you calling bald? 140 00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:10,544 Why do we have to keep bringing up old relationships? 141 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,237 Oh, well. We tried. 142 00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,237 Good night. 143 00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:19,413 Well, damn. So, all of this came from accidents? 144 00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:23,382 Yes. From accidents, but not on accident. 145 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,153 Im a man that makes things happen, Debbie. 146 00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:28,822 I only lost one case in my whole career. 147 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,722 Announcer: And Eddie Griffin got comfortable 148 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:33,834 behind the wheel of a rare Ferrari Enzo. 149 00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:37,229 Brother cant drive. 150 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,770 This whole set‐up is cool and all, 151 00:06:39,766 --> 00:06:42,436 but, um, I dont need the money. 152 00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:44,435 Oh, its not about the money. 153 00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:47,237 Its about what you do with the money. 154 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,570 Check this out. 155 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:51,335 Thats the night I set myself on fire and sky dived 156 00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:52,854 into Queen Latifahs pool. 157 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:56,076 And this is me getting bit by Bubbles at the Neverland Ranch. 158 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,482 You know I sued that [bleep]. 159 00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:59,094 [ Laughs ] Which one? 160 00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,915 Both of them. 161 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:04,221 And this is Tyrese [bleep] my lip piercing back in 98. 162 00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:06,794 I let it slide, so lets just say he owes me. 163 00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:08,063 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 164 00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:10,201 You know Tyrese ‐‐ crying ass Tyrese, 165 00:07:10,196 --> 00:07:12,826 baby boy Tyrese from "Django: The Musical"? 166 00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:15,002 Do I know him? [ Laughs ] 167 00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:16,401 She asked, "Do I know him?" 168 00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:17,773 Do I know him? 169 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,271 Well, I ‐‐ I dont know him personally. 170 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,912 But my lawsuits are famous, baby. 171 00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:25,038 In fact, I got two court‐ordered seats to see "Django." 172 00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:29,115 Im way too busy doing exciting [bleep], but you can go. 173 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:32,745 Ooh‐whee. You sure live an exciting life. 174 00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:34,522 Ooh, if I wasnt married... 175 00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:36,021 [ Chuckles ] 176 00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:37,722 Just think, Debbie. 177 00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:43,004 All of this ‐‐ uh, uh, 10% of this excitement could be yours. 178 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:45,696 Ha! Its already been thunk. 179 00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:47,729 Im in. 180 00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:49,374 Now, pay attention. 181 00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:51,799 You see that orange Honda over there with the little gold rims? 182 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,135 Uh‐huh. What about it? 183 00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,909 Three Wesleys, two Wesleys, one Wesley. 184 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,579 [ Laughs ] 185 00:07:57,577 --> 00:07:59,307 Yes! 186 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,582 Well, damn! 187 00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:02,480 You got these streets on lock! 188 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,782 Oh, not just the streets. 189 00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:12,116 Okay, then! Okay, then! 190 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:15,395 See, what I do is, I pay the pigeons to disrupt the engines. 191 00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:17,225 Its easy money. 192 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:20,000 I mean, for that kind of money, I could be about this life. 193 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,870 Girl, dont talk about it, be about it. 194 00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:25,908 ♪ 195 00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:32,415 ♪ 196 00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:39,088 ♪ 197 00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:45,194 Wesley, you wont believe what the hell I saw toda‐‐ 198 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,391 What the hell is going on?! 199 00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:50,034 See, when you run a business like this, 200 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,030 youve got to keep your eyes on everyone. 201 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:55,542 And you just in time for your new assignment, Debbie. 202 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:59,165 We need your husband to get in a little, um, "accident." 203 00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:01,442 Are you crazy? Sometimes I love Barry. 204 00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:04,041 Well, your husband must really love you, too, 205 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,814 because he got the best life‐insurance policy 206 00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:08,713 Ive ever seen in my life. 207 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:11,115 I mean, if he were to... 208 00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:13,117 die... [ Laughs ] 209 00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:15,589 You demented, crazy ass mother‐‐ 210 00:09:15,588 --> 00:09:17,388 Ooh! You got the wrong bitch! 211 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,230 You aint about to play me for no fool. 212 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:21,625 Im out! ‐Aye, go ahead and leave. 213 00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:24,158 I got thousands of drivers in every state ‐‐ 214 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:26,774 Young, old, men, women, black, white, 215 00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:30,066 Puerto Rican, Cocker Spaniel, gay, straight, crocodile, 216 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,870 truck driver, library bitches ‐‐ 217 00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:33,811 all of them. I dont need you, bitch. 218 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:36,907 I warned ya. But you better have your ass here tomorrow. 219 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,710 I aint gonna fight for it, though, 220 00:09:38,711 --> 00:09:40,111 so your ass better be safe. 221 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:44,153 [ Laughs maniacally ] 222 00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:50,057 Barry, Im sorry for being such a bitch lately. 223 00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:52,286 But you know what? All that is behind me, 224 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,992 in the past, and I just want to focus on tonight, 225 00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:58,764 and have a good time seeing "Django: The Musical." 226 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,205 [ Gasps ] 227 00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:02,437 [ Laughs ] 228 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,935 Hey, thats that lawyer guy from the commercial. 229 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,638 Why is he still looking at you like that? 230 00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:08,109 I guess I should tell you. 231 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:11,138 I thought I needed more ‐‐ bam! 232 00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:12,354 What the hell are you doing?! 233 00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:14,145 I did it. We aint got time! 234 00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,717 Move over and let me drive! 235 00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:17,875 Theyre trying to kill us! 236 00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:21,054 No. Its time for me to be a man! 237 00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:24,594 Damn, Niggalicious. That was sexy. 238 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:27,691 [ Screams ] 239 00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:30,964 Now, this is what the hell Im talking about! 240 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,334 You want Tyrese? 241 00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:34,532 Im gonna give him to ya, girl. 242 00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:37,044 I made $13,000 a month! 243 00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:40,236 What more do you want from me? 244 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,835 Gasp! 245 00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:47,114 ‐Ugh, my arm! ‐Wow. 246 00:10:47,113 --> 00:10:48,513 That man done hit you from the back, cuz. 247 00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:50,545 Hey, yall, yall aint seen nothing. 248 00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,890 Yes, we did! I filmed the whole thing, cuz! 249 00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:56,056 Shit! I recorded the whole thing, too! 250 00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:57,785 Shit! Me too, cuz! 251 00:10:57,790 --> 00:10:58,990 Shit! 252 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:01,562 You could probably sue him for, like... 253 00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:07,731 $18 billion, to be paid $100 a week for 2,000 years. 254 00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:08,934 Hey, baby. 255 00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:10,465 Just because your bones are broke 256 00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:12,200 doesnt mean you have to be. 257 00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:14,235 Call Niggalicious. 258 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,410 ♪ Niggalicious! ♪ ♪ Niggalicious! ♪ 259 00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:23,449 ♪ 260 00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:30,319 ♪ 261 00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:32,493 Man: Hey hemi, thats my hot deg! 18878

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