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00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:33,870
♪
2
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:42,707
♪
3
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,049
Today is the first day
of your future,
4
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,875
the place you will most likely
spend the rest of your life.
5
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:51,791
Join the trillions of other men,
women, and young boys in Speedos
6
00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:54,745
who have discovered
what Peanuts can do for them.
7
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:56,855
Its time to break out
of your shell.
8
00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:58,557
What have you got to lose?
9
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:02,299
[ Engine revs ]
10
00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:05,226
Peanuts has flipped these
Fortune 400 companies
11
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,972
into Fortune 500 companies,
12
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:09,467
and were determined
to do the same for yours.
13
00:01:09,469 --> 00:01:11,939
If yes them, why no you?
14
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:14,409
Before Peanuts,
I was poor, broke,
15
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,238
and taking dookies
on the sidewalk.
16
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:17,483
Now?
17
00:01:17,477 --> 00:01:19,377
I own all of these
Port‐a‐Potties.
18
00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:20,809
When working with Peanuts,
19
00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:23,754
youll never have to work
for peanuts ever again!
20
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,390
Yeah!
Not ever, ever, ever, ever.
21
00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:27,846
Thats bunk!
22
00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:29,664
So, as you might have guessed
23
00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:31,256
after watching
this informative video,
24
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:32,628
the rumors are true.
25
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,626
I slept with Rons wife.
26
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:37,428
Just kidding.
27
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,371
Ive sold the company
to these sweet, little, brown,
28
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:41,837
bulbous nuts.
29
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:43,535
Now, I want to assure everybody
30
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:45,037
that absolutely nothing
will change
31
00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:49,138
except possibly
the entire business.
32
00:01:49,142 --> 00:01:51,212
But thats totes not really
my problem anymore.
33
00:01:51,211 --> 00:01:52,781
Ta‐da!
34
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:56,379
Im Arnold the head peanut
in charge.
35
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:58,183
I aint trusting
these nuts, fam.
36
00:01:58,185 --> 00:02:00,845
I might actually have to
agree with Samuel.
37
00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:02,964
Peanuts aint really
nuts anyhow.
38
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,656
[ Laughs ]
Guilty as charged.
39
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,459
We are legumes.
40
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:11,731
Look, if anybody has any
questions and/or concerns,
41
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:15,472
feel free to meet me
in my office.
42
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:18,269
[ Clears throat ] I, uh, got
questions and/or concerns.
43
00:02:18,271 --> 00:02:20,841
Why dont you meet
in my office
44
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:23,981
a. k. a. the alley
right now, bitch?
45
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,037
I dont know.
46
00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:26,875
I think change can be
a good thing.
47
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,150
Whoo‐ho!
Thats more like it.
48
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,379
Uh...
49
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:31,484
‐Barry.
‐Barry!
50
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,715
Now there is
a powerful name.
51
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,890
Such a strong name.
52
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:39,289
In this nuts eyes,
youre exactly what we need ‐‐
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00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:40,462
Jelly.
54
00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:41,830
How would you like
a promotion?
55
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,428
Or how about
two promotions?
56
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,130
Now I think youd make
an excellent COO...
57
00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:47,273
OO.
58
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:48,937
COOOO?
59
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,795
Gosh.
I dont know what to say.
60
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:53,814
All:
Say yes! Say yes! Say yes!
61
00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:56,277
Im gonna say...
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00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:57,536
yes.
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00:02:57,544 --> 00:02:59,114
[ Siren wailing, bell ringing ]
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He said yes!
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00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:06,990
♪ Invisible soccer,
everyones a winner ♪
66
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:09,857
♪ All the goalies fine
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00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,516
Congrats, Dad.
Thats amazing.
68
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:14,525
People said I was a loser
because I married a loser,
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00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:15,758
but look at me now.
70
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:17,732
I came the hell up!
71
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:20,001
I knew I was
"Real Housewife" material.
72
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,270
What does
your new job entail?
73
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:23,568
Its weird.
I didnt think to ask.
74
00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:24,870
Either way,
Im proud of you.
75
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,641
Proud of him?
For what?
76
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:27,870
You should be
proud of me.
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00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:30,144
Im the one
that married him.
78
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:32,413
And now, considering
how instantly Ive become
79
00:03:32,412 --> 00:03:35,012
accustomed to this lifestyle,
you better keep that job.
80
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:38,645
Its nothing but top shelf for
this bottom bitch for now on.
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00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:40,192
Oh!
Work!
82
00:03:40,187 --> 00:03:41,487
Heads up, Dad.
83
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:43,758
[ Clattering, glass shattering ]
84
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,187
Ooh, sorry.
85
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:47,932
I probably shouldnt be
doing this in the house.
86
00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:50,496
Good morning, Mikey.
87
00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:54,997
Ill have my usual peanut
butter smoothie, please.
88
00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:57,371
Im sorry!
What was that?!
89
00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,910
Um, what happened to Mikey?
90
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,165
Mikey won the lotto!
He doesnt work here anymore!
91
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,844
Really?
Oh, shit. Wow.
92
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:07,554
So do you have anything
thats, um, nut free?
93
00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:09,947
Everything here is
nut free!
94
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,550
[ Indistinct conversations ]
95
00:04:12,552 --> 00:04:16,292
♪
96
00:04:16,289 --> 00:04:18,289
You wont believe what happened
this morning
97
00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:19,831
at the smoothie spot.
98
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,856
[ Gasps ]
99
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,430
Is everything okay?!
100
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,802
What happened to Chata?
101
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,670
Im not sure!
Im just a temp peanut!
102
00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:30,838
I mean, Ill always been
a peanut, obviously!
103
00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:32,637
But Im not sure!
104
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:35,739
[ Indistinct conversations ]
105
00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:38,852
‐Oh.
‐Good morning, Barry!
106
00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:41,275
Ooh, what you
drinking there?
107
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,781
All‐dairy nut latte.
108
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,923
Wow.
Excellent choice.
109
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:47,819
May I have a sip?
110
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:50,121
[ Slurps, gargles ]
111
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,393
Ugh.
112
00:04:52,392 --> 00:04:56,532
[ Sighs ] Nothing like the taste
and texture of real cow milk
113
00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:59,070
in the back
of your throat, huh, Barry?
114
00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:00,325
Where is everybody?
115
00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:03,373
Why, thats
a fantastic question.
116
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:06,370
Everyone in the office won
the Powerball lottery yesterday,
117
00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:08,613
and they all quit
at the same time.
118
00:05:08,608 --> 00:05:10,438
Peanut: Dun‐dun‐dun!
119
00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:11,743
Oh, sorry!
120
00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:15,385
I ‐‐ I thought it said
music cue in the script!
121
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,546
Everyone?
122
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:20,521
Everyone except for
Samuel Desean, and Chata.
123
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,820
Those two called in sick.
124
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,893
Hope its not
a peanut allergy!
125
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,391
Get it?!
[ Laughs ]
126
00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:28,803
You will let me know if they
come in, wont you, Barry?
127
00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:30,225
Uh‐huh.
128
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:34,470
[ Music playing indistinctly ]
129
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:35,797
[ Laughs ]
130
00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:38,042
Whoa.
131
00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:40,436
Whats going on?
132
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:41,870
Nigga, whats going on?
133
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,475
Evil‐ass peanuts have taken
over the Walla,
134
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:47,076
and youve been helping them
every step of the goddamn way.
135
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,750
Theres nothing illegal
about a free‐market economy.
136
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:51,349
I thought
this was America.
137
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,621
Its too late.
138
00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:54,349
They turned him out.
139
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,324
Sorry, bro.
140
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:56,922
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait,
Chata.
141
00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:58,993
Nah.
Whats done is done.
142
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:00,062
Barry got a point.
143
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:01,590
This is America.
144
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:04,625
If we execute him, another
star‐shirted peanut puppet
145
00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:06,271
will just pop up
in his place.
146
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:07,366
Say, Barry.
147
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,237
How familiar are you
with culinary history?
148
00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:10,796
What kind
of question is that?
149
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:13,814
Its the only question
that matters.
150
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,637
♪
151
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:18,042
Barry, I think its very
important for you to hear
152
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,814
what George Washington Carver
has to say, playboy.
153
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:23,984
My story begins
at the dawn of time...
154
00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:26,454
In the beginning,
there was a battle for Earth
155
00:06:26,453 --> 00:06:28,323
between peanuts and man.
156
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:31,191
The wily peanut,
with its superior intellect
157
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,591
and lack of scruples,
158
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:35,832
was able to get the upper hand
on the early man.
159
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:38,629
Eventually mankind would
find its footing
160
00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:42,442
and put the peanuts
in their proper place on bread,
161
00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:47,535
in brittle, and any number
of tasty Thai dishes.
162
00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:49,140
Yeah!
163
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,342
Although degraded and
all but erased from history,
164
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:55,214
peanuts would never stop
attempting to gentrify the Earth
165
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:59,315
with their vegan cafés
and their SoulCycle franchises
166
00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:03,019
and the stupid‐ass
little craft breweries.
167
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,463
I, George Washington Carver,
168
00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:09,658
am last in a line of the once
proud peanut slayers,
169
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:11,433
but now, I am tired.
170
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,071
So very tired.
171
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:16,236
And I am afraid that I have
cracked my last nut.
172
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:17,796
The battle is upon us.
173
00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:19,344
The peanuts have returned.
174
00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:23,339
It is now up to you, Barry,
you are the chosen one.
175
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:26,913
First COOOO,
now the chosen one?
176
00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:28,713
Thats a lot of promotions
for one day.
177
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:31,845
If you do not have the balls
to take on these nuts,
178
00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:34,351
then maybe the war
is finally lost.
179
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:35,724
Real talk?
180
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:38,362
If you let that happen, Barry,
Im not your friend anymore.
181
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:48,028
♪
182
00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:50,404
[ Whimpers ]
183
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:54,643
♪
184
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,881
[ Door creaks ]
185
00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:58,806
All: Surprise!
186
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,452
Surprise!
187
00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:01,507
Woman: Surprise!
188
00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:03,184
I tried to invite all your
work friends,
189
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:04,953
but its like they
all mysteriously disappeared.
190
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:11,091
[ All chanting "Barry!" ]
191
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:13,361
Congratulations,
Mr. Jelly.
192
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,430
KYs so lucky to have
a daddy like you.
193
00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:17,899
I wish
you was my daddy.
194
00:08:17,897 --> 00:08:19,297
Thanks, young man.
195
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:21,269
KY, I need you
to act normal.
196
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:23,767
Now grab your three most
precious belongings
197
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,000
and meet me at the car.
198
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,305
Dad, you better not be
a penis blocker.
199
00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:30,907
You do have
a penis, right?
200
00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:33,410
Cornell, the peanuts
have a genocidal ‐‐
201
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:35,453
God, Dad!
Get off the court! Hello?
202
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:38,478
Invisible soccer game!
Duh!
203
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:41,692
Ooh, yeah.
204
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,158
‐Whoa.
‐Baby, I want to meet your boss
205
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:45,417
and thank him personally
206
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:47,055
for finally making
something out of you.
207
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,000
Debbie, I need you
to listen to me.
208
00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:51,595
‐No, you listen.
‐This is serious.
209
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:53,728
No, this is serious.
210
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,970
[ Gargling ]
211
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:58,069
Damn it. Think, Barry.
Think.
212
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:02,041
♪
213
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:05,182
Going somewhere?
214
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:10,878
[ All speaking indistinctly ]
215
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,324
Hes got a knife!
216
00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:13,588
Ugh!
217
00:09:13,586 --> 00:09:16,056
[ Horn blaring ]
218
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,225
Ugh, my head.
219
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:23,257
My aching head.
220
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:24,503
All I know is you better
not have
221
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:26,467
gotten yourself fired,
Barry.
222
00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:27,796
Fellow nuts!
223
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,341
Hear me!
224
00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:32,665
The compete and total
gentrification of Walla Walla
225
00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:34,672
is now within our grasp.
226
00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:37,244
I call it people butter!
227
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:41,053
Now time to add the jelly!
228
00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:43,047
No, wait.
You dont have to do this.
229
00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:44,949
There has to be another way.
230
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,915
[ Laughter ]
231
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,860
[ Grinders whirring ]
232
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:52,556
[ Gunshot ]
233
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:54,629
[ Winch stops ]
234
00:09:54,627 --> 00:09:56,327
I thought you were dead!
235
00:09:56,329 --> 00:10:00,429
Looks like old G. W. C.
still got one last nut to bust!
236
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,973
Youre going to learn today
why they call me
237
00:10:02,969 --> 00:10:05,839
George Washington,
The Carver.
238
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,069
Theres a "the"?
239
00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:08,413
[ Grunts ]
240
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:11,008
Aah!
241
00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:12,410
Hoo‐wah!
242
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,712
Aaaah!
243
00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:16,124
Hoo‐wah!
244
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:20,316
Aaaaaa...
245
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:26,330
aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
246
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,634
Hwah!
247
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:32,299
Aaaaaah!
248
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,768
Oh, no!
Holy shit!
249
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:37,237
[ All screaming ]
250
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,737
[ Gunshots ]
251
00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:41,469
Theyre all dead.
252
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,584
Everyone is dead,
and its all my fault.
253
00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:46,676
Its a damn shame. You still get
paid, though, right?
254
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:50,479
Hey, you guys. This
people butter press
got a reverse lever.
255
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,323
Well, what are you
waiting for, man?!
Pull the damn thing!
256
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,759
I got it, man.
Chill, fool.
257
00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:58,085
[ Machine beeps ]
258
00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:01,261
♪
259
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:03,631
[ Cheers and applause ]
260
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:04,530
Damn!
261
00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:06,801
Right back to where we started.
262
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:09,239
Well, my work here is done.
263
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:13,535
Now I can finally rest in peace.
264
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:14,810
Hwah!
265
00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:19,147
♪
266
00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:20,845
Hwah!
267
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:23,917
♪
268
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,217
Hwah!
269
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:31,518
♪
270
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:36,164
Hey hemi,
thats my hot deg!
18312
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