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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:35,002 ♪ 2 00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:41,142 ♪ 3 00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:42,811 ♪ 4 00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:45,614 I’m telling you, 5 00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:48,852 it was the craziest movie of all time! 6 00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:52,289 That "Air Bud" fella is something special, yo. 7 00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:56,386 Not only can he understand 100% of what humans say, 8 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:59,190 but he can also play every single... 9 00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:00,792 [ Giggles ] 10 00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:02,464 [ Romantic music plays ] 11 00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:03,632 [ Sighs ] 12 00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:06,030 She is just so perfect! 13 00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:09,473 Just go say something to her ‐‐ anything. 14 00:01:09,469 --> 00:01:11,369 You’re right. It’s time I be assertive. 15 00:01:11,371 --> 00:01:12,471 It’s time I take charge. 16 00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:13,672 I’ll be back. 17 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,084 I can’t believe how allergic to dogs I am. 18 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,306 The second I touched it, 19 00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:18,681 my throat started closing up. [ Gasps ] 20 00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:19,979 Oh, my God, Tanya! 21 00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:22,080 So are your parents gonna return it, 22 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,052 or you keeping it? 23 00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:24,753 That was fast. 24 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,021 So did you ask her out? 25 00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:28,689 Did she say yes? Even better! 26 00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,689 You’re not gonna believe this, Reggie, 27 00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:31,791 but Tanya loves dogs! 28 00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:33,232 She talked about touching one 29 00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:35,426 and putting things down her throat afterwards. 30 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,659 I have to get one! 31 00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:38,533 It will, without a doubt, lead to sex. 32 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:39,632 Are you sure? 33 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:41,773 I heard dogs are really expensive. 34 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:45,138 I don’t know how it could fit in somebody’s throat. 35 00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:48,308 [ Groans ] 36 00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:49,338 [ Gulps ] 37 00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:50,413 ♪ 38 00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:52,510 [ Kids yelling ] 39 00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:54,352 [ Hip‐hop music playing ] 40 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,878 [ Gasps ] 41 00:01:57,517 --> 00:01:58,947 [ Barks ] 42 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,052 My parents are gonna kill me for this. 43 00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,164 [ Whines ] 44 00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:06,186 [ Laughter ] 45 00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:08,863 And when he leaves his wife on page 32, 46 00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:10,662 girl, I just about lost it. 47 00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,074 Me, too. But she should have seen it coming, 48 00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,465 so that’s her fault, if you ask me. 49 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,237 Got herself caught out there. 50 00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:18,035 Why you always talk about books every time we get together? 51 00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:19,138 That shit is boring! 52 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,939 There’s so much more other shit out there. 53 00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:23,541 Because, Debbie, we’re in a book club. 54 00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:26,183 ♪ 55 00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:27,709 [ Panting ] 56 00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:38,092 So, what do you say we get out of here? 57 00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:39,461 [ Barks ] 58 00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:46,369 [ Idyllic music plays ] 59 00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:48,496 [ Barking ] 60 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,172 [ Laughing ] 61 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,600 ♪ 62 00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:53,365 [ Laughs ] 63 00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:54,643 [ Groans ] 64 00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:56,641 ♪ 65 00:02:56,643 --> 00:02:58,313 [ Smooches ] 66 00:02:58,311 --> 00:02:59,681 ♪ 67 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,180 [ Gasps ] [ Growls seductively ] 68 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,681 [ Smooches ] 69 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,123 [ Hardening noise ] 70 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,687 [ Whines ] 71 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,316 ♪ 72 00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:12,031 [ Keyboard Clacking ] 73 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,685 ♪ 74 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,355 Cornell: What the hell? 75 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,333 [ Grunts ] 76 00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:21,170 ♪ 77 00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:23,999 [ Slurps ] 78 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,244 [ Coughs ] 79 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:27,068 I suppose you’re wondering what I’m doing here. 80 00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:29,514 But, first, let’s get some essentials out of the way. 81 00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:31,779 My name isn’t Carla. It’s Spike. 82 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,578 Oh, man! Sorry about that. 83 00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,010 Do you want to take the bow off then? 84 00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:37,375 I’ll be the one driving the conversation here. 85 00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:40,694 I come from a long line of notable dogs and bitches. 86 00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:42,757 My great‐grandfather was a police dog 87 00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,386 who bit Martin Luther King Jr. 88 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:47,091 My uncle was a service dog for Ray Charles. 89 00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:49,634 And my aunt is Katherine Heigl. 90 00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:51,029 So it should come as no surprise 91 00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,131 I was recruited by the CIA. 92 00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,603 I’ve been tracking a really evil entity for a while now 93 00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,842 that seems to have settled down in your neighborhood. 94 00:03:57,838 --> 00:04:00,338 But it took me a while to get here. 95 00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:01,540 I knew I needed an in, 96 00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:03,541 so I made my way over to the house 97 00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:05,413 of an unsuspecting young girl. 98 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,752 [ Doorbell rings ] 99 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:07,747 [ Gasps ] 100 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,948 [ Whimpers ] 101 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,150 Aw! 102 00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,791 Spike: Of course, I covered myself in poison ivy 103 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:15,116 so she would think she was allergic to me. 104 00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:18,462 I knew she would tell everyone why she no longer had a dog. 105 00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:19,658 So, eventually, 106 00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:21,659 I would end up in someone’s home. 107 00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:23,561 That plan is genius. 108 00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:24,863 It’s like 9/11! 109 00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:26,825 Exactly. But I need your help. 110 00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:29,973 I’ll need you to take me to the home of an ally. 111 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:36,280 [ Dramatic music plays ] 112 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,806 [ Knocks on door ] 113 00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:40,048 Ha! [ Barks ] 114 00:04:40,046 --> 00:04:41,676 Nigga! 115 00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:44,081 [ Dramatic music plays ] 116 00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,694 [ Buzzer sounds, alarm blares ] 117 00:04:45,685 --> 00:04:49,155 [ Clanging loudly ] 118 00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:52,288 This is so cool! 119 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,632 Don’t act like you ain’t know I got style. 120 00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,401 [ Thuds ] 121 00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:58,926 [ Gasps ] 122 00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:02,901 You know I’m here for you, Spike. 123 00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,803 You had my back when I needed you most, 124 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,035 and I’ve also been sensing 125 00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:08,109 the same evil forces in our neighborhood. 126 00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:09,578 I knew I could count on you. 127 00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:11,106 Now, I don’t know much, 128 00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:13,251 but I do suspect that the current mayor is involved. 129 00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:15,746 The evil forces can be killed by chocolate 130 00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:18,819 and that most of our victims get turned into sandwiches. 131 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,649 Oh, my God! I had a sandwich yesterday! 132 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:22,955 Do you think I ate a person?! 133 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,356 [ Grunts ] Focus, man! 134 00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:26,587 The plan is for us to follow the mayor around 135 00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:28,133 until you secure chocolate. 136 00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,528 Do you think you can handle that? Of course! 137 00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:31,730 To my Black Mobile! 138 00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:41,541 [ Dramatic theme music plays ] 139 00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:44,041 [ Engine starts ] 140 00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:48,884 [ Turn signal clicking ] 141 00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:51,322 [ Siren wails ] 142 00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:52,418 Hi, there. 143 00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:53,949 Were you aware that you were speeding? 144 00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:56,264 Come on, man! I just got in my car. 145 00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:57,456 Oh, ho, ho! 146 00:05:57,457 --> 00:05:59,457 I see we got ourselves a world‐class comedian 147 00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:01,059 over here. Excuse me? 148 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:03,361 You have 85 days to pay your ticket, 149 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,663 Richard Pryor. 150 00:06:04,664 --> 00:06:07,204 [ Siren wails ] 151 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,670 [ Siren wails ] 152 00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:09,938 ♪ 153 00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:14,038 Hey, yo, Mr. Mayor, I’m so glad I ran into you. 154 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,410 I was wondering, after last week’s incident, 155 00:06:16,409 --> 00:06:18,979 if you would consider adding a traffic light 156 00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,079 at 5th and Broadway. 157 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,450 Don’t be walking up on me, 158 00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,148 asking me questions like I could help you. 159 00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:24,179 Aah! 160 00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:25,791 ♪ 161 00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:27,815 [ Growls ] 162 00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:33,591 [ Dramatic music plays ] 163 00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:35,163 [ Gasps ] 164 00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:38,232 Whoa! All right, Chris Rock. 165 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,001 [ Laughs ] 166 00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,599 [ Siren chirps ] 167 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,340 Woman: You have arrived at your destination. 168 00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,866 ♪ 169 00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:48,542 Hey! I’m gonna need you to come with me. 170 00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:50,881 Whoa! [ Siren wails ] 171 00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:52,907 Oh! This is unbelievable. 172 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,553 Can’t believe this is ‐‐ 173 00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:56,917 What about ‐‐ yeah! 174 00:06:57,817 --> 00:07:02,617 [ Snarling ] 175 00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:05,492 What did I tell you? 176 00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,901 Man: Cargo shorts, aisle three. 177 00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:15,029 This is all stuff white people like. 178 00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:17,735 What is Leonard doing in here? 179 00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:19,337 Um, excuse me, 180 00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:21,809 but do you know where I can find a label‐maker? 181 00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:22,908 Taylor Swift? 182 00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:24,879 Of course you assumed I work here. 183 00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:26,809 It’s in aisle five. 184 00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:28,083 [ Growls ] 185 00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:31,181 Gluten‐free M&Ms, aisle six. 186 00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,954 Are you sure he went in here? 187 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,923 Leonard: Yeah, he’s sure. 188 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:39,526 [ Dramatic music plays ] 189 00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:40,756 [ Sniffing ] 190 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:41,760 [ Both gasp ] 191 00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:45,331 [ Maniacal laughter ] 192 00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:46,032 [ Barking ] 193 00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:47,772 [ Growls ] 194 00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:49,537 This does not look good. 195 00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:50,736 Don’t worry. 196 00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:53,207 Samuel should be here any minute with chocolate. 197 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,966 [ Theme music continues ] 198 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,275 Samuel: Hey! 199 00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:58,006 We just passed my destination. 200 00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,611 I’m sorry, man! 201 00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:01,312 But you’re in an Uber pool. 202 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,884 I got to take the route it tells me. 203 00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:06,324 Is this really necessary? 204 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,119 Who buys these chairs anyway? 205 00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:09,461 I bet you’re wondering 206 00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:11,456 how I knew you was following me. 207 00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:12,588 No, not really. 208 00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:13,962 I woke up today, 209 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,830 and Twitter told me I had a new follower. 210 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,129 I know the population of this city 211 00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:18,460 and how many people I have on Twitter, 212 00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:21,125 so I knew someone outside the city 213 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:22,374 had to be watching me. 214 00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,169 So, naturally, I went to the store 215 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:27,870 and bought $270,000 worth of surveillance equipment. 216 00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:29,684 But in order to remain undetected, 217 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,436 I needed to be inconspicuous, 218 00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:33,914 and I held auditions for the decoys. 219 00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:35,553 But all of them sucked. 220 00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:38,478 So I was forced to open up this acting school. 221 00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:42,015 All of this stressed me out, so I needed a quick break. 222 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,022 But all that smoking made a nigga hungry. 223 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,664 As I ate my tasty‐ass sandwich, 224 00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:49,159 I notice the van that was following me from earlier. 225 00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:51,762 So knew it had to be you two who was following me. 226 00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,725 [ Growls ] [ Chittering ] 227 00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:54,933 [ Barking ] 228 00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:56,444 Before you kill us, 229 00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:57,936 can you tell us everything there is to know 230 00:08:57,937 --> 00:08:59,337 about the evil forces? 231 00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:01,939 It’s been my life’s work, and I deserve to know. 232 00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:03,381 What evil forces? 233 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,006 [ Door bangs open ] Samuel: Have no fear! 234 00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:06,451 Samuel’s here! 235 00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:09,346 Samuel! I thought you were bringing chocolate. 236 00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:10,479 I did. 237 00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,553 Everyone, I would like you to meet Chocolate. 238 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:13,722 Hello, boys. 239 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:14,790 We’re done for. 240 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:15,758 All right, look, 241 00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:16,715 enough of the small talk. 242 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:17,593 [ Gun cocks ] 243 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,090 Quick, untie us! 244 00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:21,759 [ Gasps ] [ Growls ] 245 00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:24,001 I believe you outnumbered now. 246 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:26,597 Hey. Is that a Black Lives Matter pin? 247 00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:27,829 [ Ting! ] 248 00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:29,074 As a matter of fact, it is. 249 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,439 You support the movement? 250 00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:31,567 Do I? 251 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,811 [ Ting ] 252 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:34,266 You’ve got hear my plan 253 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,114 to take Black Lives Matter to space. 254 00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:37,979 See, no one has colonized Mars yet, 255 00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:39,207 so I figure if black people 256 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,112 are the first people they see there, 257 00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:42,424 the aliens can demscriminate 258 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,845 against white people instead. 259 00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:47,020 Discriminate. Oh, same damn thing. 260 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,450 Yo, that’s some next‐level shit. 261 00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:50,485 We gotta grab some coffee sometime, you know. 262 00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:53,860 Flea: Buzz. I just landed on your face. 263 00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:55,390 Buzz. 264 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:56,425 [ Growls ] 265 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,159 Build and bounce some ideas! 266 00:09:58,164 --> 00:09:59,604 You know, I’d love to join your efforts. 267 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,999 Yeah! I’m glad we could work our issues out peacefully! 268 00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:05,712 Why you not getting me off your face? 269 00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:06,905 Buzz. [ Whines ] 270 00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:09,376 [ Growling ] 271 00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,675 Oh! What the hell did you do that for?! 272 00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:13,348 Yeah, what the hell, man?! 273 00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,816 We just started putting aside our differences! 274 00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:17,775 Leonard: Busted! 275 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,054 It was him! 276 00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:20,952 He killed my dog! 277 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,254 Ha! ha! Yeah, I’m snitching! 278 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:23,915 You right, yeah, I’m snitching, nigga! 279 00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:25,123 You don’t understand. 280 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,585 He wasn’t even a dog at all. 281 00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:29,133 He didn’t even smell my butt! 282 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,329 I bet y’all wondering 283 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,000 how I knew you were back here. 284 00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:33,828 [ Chuckles ] See, it was simple. 285 00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:35,473 I was checking my Twitter feed, 286 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,898 when I saw I had two extra followers this morning. 287 00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:39,374 And then I went to work, 288 00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,142 and I saw this dog in the parking lot 289 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,511 dressed like a... [ Low rumbling ] 290 00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:46,705 Huh?! 291 00:10:46,713 --> 00:10:50,983 [ Screams ] 292 00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:55,154 (Silence) 293 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,795 Man: Ay hemie, that’s my hot deg! 294 00:11:04,797 --> 00:11:05,767 [ Laughs ] 295 00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:07,325 ♪ 19650

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