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1
00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:35,002
♪
2
00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:41,142
♪
3
00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:42,811
♪
4
00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:45,614
I’m telling you,
5
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:48,852
it was the craziest movie
of all time!
6
00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:52,289
That "Air Bud" fella
is something special, yo.
7
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:56,386
Not only can he understand
100% of what humans say,
8
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:59,190
but he can also play
every single...
9
00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:00,792
[ Giggles ]
10
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:02,464
[ Romantic music plays ]
11
00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:03,632
[ Sighs ]
12
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:06,030
She is just so perfect!
13
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:09,473
Just go say something to her ‐‐
anything.
14
00:01:09,469 --> 00:01:11,369
You’re right.
It’s time I be assertive.
15
00:01:11,371 --> 00:01:12,471
It’s time I take charge.
16
00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:13,672
I’ll be back.
17
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,084
I can’t believe
how allergic to dogs I am.
18
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,306
The second I touched it,
19
00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:18,681
my throat started
closing up.
[ Gasps ]
20
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:19,979
Oh, my God, Tanya!
21
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:22,080
So are your parents
gonna return it,
22
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,052
or you keeping it?
23
00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:24,753
That was fast.
24
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,021
So did you ask her out?
25
00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:28,689
Did she say yes?
Even better!
26
00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,689
You’re not gonna
believe this, Reggie,
27
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:31,791
but Tanya loves dogs!
28
00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:33,232
She talked about
touching one
29
00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:35,426
and putting things
down her throat afterwards.
30
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,659
I have to get one!
31
00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:38,533
It will, without a doubt,
lead to sex.
32
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:39,632
Are you sure?
33
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:41,773
I heard dogs
are really expensive.
34
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:45,138
I don’t know how it could fit
in somebody’s throat.
35
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:48,308
[ Groans ]
36
00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:49,338
[ Gulps ]
37
00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:50,413
♪
38
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:52,510
[ Kids yelling ]
39
00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:54,352
[ Hip‐hop music playing ]
40
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,878
[ Gasps ]
41
00:01:57,517 --> 00:01:58,947
[ Barks ]
42
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,052
My parents are gonna
kill me for this.
43
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,164
[ Whines ]
44
00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:06,186
[ Laughter ]
45
00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:08,863
And when he leaves his wife
on page 32,
46
00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:10,662
girl,
I just about lost it.
47
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,074
Me, too. But she should have
seen it coming,
48
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,465
so that’s her fault,
if you ask me.
49
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,237
Got herself caught out there.
50
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:18,035
Why you always talk
about books every time
we get together?
51
00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:19,138
That shit is boring!
52
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,939
There’s so much more
other shit out there.
53
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:23,541
Because, Debbie,
we’re in a book club.
54
00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:26,183
♪
55
00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:27,709
[ Panting ]
56
00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:38,092
So, what do you say
we get out of here?
57
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:39,461
[ Barks ]
58
00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:46,369
[ Idyllic music plays ]
59
00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:48,496
[ Barking ]
60
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,172
[ Laughing ]
61
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,600
♪
62
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:53,365
[ Laughs ]
63
00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:54,643
[ Groans ]
64
00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:56,641
♪
65
00:02:56,643 --> 00:02:58,313
[ Smooches ]
66
00:02:58,311 --> 00:02:59,681
♪
67
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,180
[ Gasps ]
[ Growls seductively ]
68
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,681
[ Smooches ]
69
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,123
[ Hardening noise ]
70
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,687
[ Whines ]
71
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,316
♪
72
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:12,031
[ Keyboard Clacking ]
73
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,685
♪
74
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,355
Cornell: What the hell?
75
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,333
[ Grunts ]
76
00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:21,170
♪
77
00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:23,999
[ Slurps ]
78
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,244
[ Coughs ]
79
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:27,068
I suppose you’re wondering
what I’m doing here.
80
00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:29,514
But, first, let’s get some
essentials out of the way.
81
00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:31,779
My name isn’t Carla.
It’s Spike.
82
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,578
Oh, man!
Sorry about that.
83
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,010
Do you want
to take the bow off then?
84
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:37,375
I’ll be the one driving
the conversation here.
85
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:40,694
I come from a long line
of notable dogs and bitches.
86
00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:42,757
My great‐grandfather
was a police dog
87
00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,386
who bit
Martin Luther King Jr.
88
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:47,091
My uncle was a service dog
for Ray Charles.
89
00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:49,634
And my aunt
is Katherine Heigl.
90
00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:51,029
So it should come
as no surprise
91
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,131
I was recruited
by the CIA.
92
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,603
I’ve been tracking
a really evil entity
for a while now
93
00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,842
that seems to have settled down
in your neighborhood.
94
00:03:57,838 --> 00:04:00,338
But it took me a while
to get here.
95
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:01,540
I knew I needed an in,
96
00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:03,541
so I made my way
over to the house
97
00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:05,413
of an unsuspecting
young girl.
98
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,752
[ Doorbell rings ]
99
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:07,747
[ Gasps ]
100
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,948
[ Whimpers ]
101
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,150
Aw!
102
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,791
Spike: Of course,
I covered myself in poison ivy
103
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:15,116
so she would think
she was allergic to me.
104
00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:18,462
I knew she would tell everyone
why she no longer had a dog.
105
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:19,658
So, eventually,
106
00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:21,659
I would end up
in someone’s home.
107
00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:23,561
That plan is genius.
108
00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:24,863
It’s like 9/11!
109
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:26,825
Exactly.
But I need your help.
110
00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:29,973
I’ll need you to take me
to the home of an ally.
111
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:36,280
[ Dramatic music plays ]
112
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,806
[ Knocks on door ]
113
00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:40,048
Ha!
[ Barks ]
114
00:04:40,046 --> 00:04:41,676
Nigga!
115
00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:44,081
[ Dramatic music plays ]
116
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,694
[ Buzzer sounds,
alarm blares ]
117
00:04:45,685 --> 00:04:49,155
[ Clanging loudly ]
118
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:52,288
This is so cool!
119
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,632
Don’t act like you ain’t know
I got style.
120
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,401
[ Thuds ]
121
00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:58,926
[ Gasps ]
122
00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:02,901
You know I’m here for you,
Spike.
123
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,803
You had my back
when I needed you most,
124
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,035
and I’ve also been sensing
125
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:08,109
the same evil forces
in our neighborhood.
126
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:09,578
I knew
I could count on you.
127
00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:11,106
Now, I don’t know much,
128
00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:13,251
but I do suspect that
the current mayor is involved.
129
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:15,746
The evil forces
can be killed by chocolate
130
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:18,819
and that most of our victims
get turned into sandwiches.
131
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,649
Oh, my God!
I had a sandwich yesterday!
132
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:22,955
Do you think
I ate a person?!
133
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,356
[ Grunts ]
Focus, man!
134
00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:26,587
The plan is for us
to follow the mayor around
135
00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:28,133
until you secure chocolate.
136
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,528
Do you think
you can handle that?
Of course!
137
00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:31,730
To my Black Mobile!
138
00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:41,541
[ Dramatic theme music plays ]
139
00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:44,041
[ Engine starts ]
140
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:48,884
[ Turn signal clicking ]
141
00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:51,322
[ Siren wails ]
142
00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:52,418
Hi, there.
143
00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:53,949
Were you aware
that you were speeding?
144
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:56,264
Come on, man!
I just got in my car.
145
00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:57,456
Oh, ho, ho!
146
00:05:57,457 --> 00:05:59,457
I see we got ourselves
a world‐class comedian
147
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:01,059
over here.
Excuse me?
148
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:03,361
You have 85 days
to pay your ticket,
149
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,663
Richard Pryor.
150
00:06:04,664 --> 00:06:07,204
[ Siren wails ]
151
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,670
[ Siren wails ]
152
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:09,938
♪
153
00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:14,038
Hey, yo, Mr. Mayor,
I’m so glad I ran into you.
154
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,410
I was wondering,
after last week’s incident,
155
00:06:16,409 --> 00:06:18,979
if you would consider
adding a traffic light
156
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,079
at 5th and Broadway.
157
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,450
Don’t be walking up on me,
158
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,148
asking me questions
like I could help you.
159
00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:24,179
Aah!
160
00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:25,791
♪
161
00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:27,815
[ Growls ]
162
00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:33,591
[ Dramatic music plays ]
163
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:35,163
[ Gasps ]
164
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:38,232
Whoa!
All right, Chris Rock.
165
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,001
[ Laughs ]
166
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,599
[ Siren chirps ]
167
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,340
Woman: You have arrived
at your destination.
168
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,866
♪
169
00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:48,542
Hey! I’m gonna need you
to come with me.
170
00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:50,881
Whoa!
[ Siren wails ]
171
00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:52,907
Oh!
This is unbelievable.
172
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,553
Can’t believe this is ‐‐
173
00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:56,917
What about ‐‐ yeah!
174
00:06:57,817 --> 00:07:02,617
[ Snarling ]
175
00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:05,492
What did I tell you?
176
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,901
Man: Cargo shorts,
aisle three.
177
00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:15,029
This is all stuff
white people like.
178
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:17,735
What is Leonard
doing in here?
179
00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:19,337
Um, excuse me,
180
00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:21,809
but do you know where
I can find a label‐maker?
181
00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:22,908
Taylor Swift?
182
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:24,879
Of course you assumed
I work here.
183
00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:26,809
It’s in aisle five.
184
00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:28,083
[ Growls ]
185
00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:31,181
Gluten‐free M&Ms,
aisle six.
186
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,954
Are you sure
he went in here?
187
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,923
Leonard:
Yeah, he’s sure.
188
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:39,526
[ Dramatic music plays ]
189
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:40,756
[ Sniffing ]
190
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:41,760
[ Both gasp ]
191
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:45,331
[ Maniacal laughter ]
192
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:46,032
[ Barking ]
193
00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:47,772
[ Growls ]
194
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:49,537
This does not look good.
195
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:50,736
Don’t worry.
196
00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:53,207
Samuel should be here any minute
with chocolate.
197
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,966
[ Theme music continues ]
198
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,275
Samuel: Hey!
199
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:58,006
We just passed
my destination.
200
00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,611
I’m sorry, man!
201
00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:01,312
But you’re in an Uber pool.
202
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,884
I got to take the route
it tells me.
203
00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:06,324
Is this really necessary?
204
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,119
Who buys these chairs
anyway?
205
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:09,461
I bet you’re wondering
206
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:11,456
how I knew
you was following me.
207
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:12,588
No, not really.
208
00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:13,962
I woke up today,
209
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,830
and Twitter told me
I had a new follower.
210
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,129
I know the population
of this city
211
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:18,460
and how many people
I have on Twitter,
212
00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:21,125
so I knew someone
outside the city
213
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:22,374
had to be watching me.
214
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,169
So, naturally,
I went to the store
215
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:27,870
and bought $270,000 worth
of surveillance equipment.
216
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:29,684
But in order to remain
undetected,
217
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,436
I needed
to be inconspicuous,
218
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:33,914
and I held auditions
for the decoys.
219
00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:35,553
But all of them sucked.
220
00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:38,478
So I was forced to open up
this acting school.
221
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:42,015
All of this stressed me out,
so I needed a quick break.
222
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,022
But all that smoking
made a nigga hungry.
223
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,664
As I ate
my tasty‐ass sandwich,
224
00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:49,159
I notice the van that was
following me from earlier.
225
00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:51,762
So knew it had to be you two
who was following me.
226
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,725
[ Growls ]
[ Chittering ]
227
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:54,933
[ Barking ]
228
00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:56,444
Before you kill us,
229
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:57,936
can you tell us everything
there is to know
230
00:08:57,937 --> 00:08:59,337
about the evil forces?
231
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:01,939
It’s been my life’s work,
and I deserve to know.
232
00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:03,381
What evil forces?
233
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,006
[ Door bangs open ]
Samuel: Have no fear!
234
00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:06,451
Samuel’s here!
235
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:09,346
Samuel! I thought you were
bringing chocolate.
236
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:10,479
I did.
237
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,553
Everyone, I would like you
to meet Chocolate.
238
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:13,722
Hello, boys.
239
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:14,790
We’re done for.
240
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:15,758
All right, look,
241
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:16,715
enough of the small talk.
242
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:17,593
[ Gun cocks ]
243
00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,090
Quick, untie us!
244
00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:21,759
[ Gasps ]
[ Growls ]
245
00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:24,001
I believe
you outnumbered now.
246
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:26,597
Hey. Is that
a Black Lives Matter pin?
247
00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:27,829
[ Ting! ]
248
00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:29,074
As a matter of fact,
it is.
249
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,439
You support
the movement?
250
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:31,567
Do I?
251
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,811
[ Ting ]
252
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:34,266
You’ve got hear my plan
253
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,114
to take Black Lives Matter
to space.
254
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:37,979
See, no one
has colonized Mars yet,
255
00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:39,207
so I figure if black people
256
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,112
are the first people
they see there,
257
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:42,424
the aliens
can demscriminate
258
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,845
against white people
instead.
259
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:47,020
Discriminate.
Oh, same damn thing.
260
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,450
Yo, that’s some
next‐level shit.
261
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:50,485
We gotta grab some coffee
sometime, you know.
262
00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:53,860
Flea: Buzz.
I just landed on your face.
263
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:55,390
Buzz.
264
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:56,425
[ Growls ]
265
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,159
Build and bounce
some ideas!
266
00:09:58,164 --> 00:09:59,604
You know, I’d love
to join your efforts.
267
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,999
Yeah! I’m glad we could work
our issues out peacefully!
268
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:05,712
Why you not getting me
off your face?
269
00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:06,905
Buzz.
[ Whines ]
270
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:09,376
[ Growling ]
271
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,675
Oh! What the hell
did you do that for?!
272
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:13,348
Yeah, what the hell,
man?!
273
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,816
We just started putting aside
our differences!
274
00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:17,775
Leonard: Busted!
275
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,054
It was him!
276
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:20,952
He killed my dog!
277
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,254
Ha! ha!
Yeah, I’m snitching!
278
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:23,915
You right,
yeah, I’m snitching, nigga!
279
00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:25,123
You don’t understand.
280
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,585
He wasn’t even
a dog at all.
281
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:29,133
He didn’t even
smell my butt!
282
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,329
I bet y’all wondering
283
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,000
how I knew
you were back here.
284
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:33,828
[ Chuckles ]
See, it was simple.
285
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:35,473
I was checking
my Twitter feed,
286
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,898
when I saw I had
two extra followers
this morning.
287
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:39,374
And then I went to work,
288
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,142
and I saw this dog
in the parking lot
289
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,511
dressed like a...
[ Low rumbling ]
290
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:46,705
Huh?!
291
00:10:46,713 --> 00:10:50,983
[ Screams ]
292
00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:55,154
(Silence)
293
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,795
Man: Ay hemie,
that’s my hot deg!
294
00:11:04,797 --> 00:11:05,767
[ Laughs ]
295
00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:07,325
♪
19650
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