Original subtitles

[ Vacuum cleaner whirs ]

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

[ Laughter ]

[ Foghorn sounds ]

That was weird...

♪ Mama ♪

[ Foghorn sounds ]

KY! This ain’t the science fair!

[ Foghorn sounds ]

I think I should handle this one.

[ Gasps ]

The hell is going on in here?

♪

I don’t understand what’s going on with me.

[ Foghorn sounds ]

Aww, girl! It’s your goo day!

[ Sighs ] I remember my goo day.

[ Soft music plays ]

Uhh, let me get the nine piece, a coke, and ‐‐

[ Foghorn sounds ]

[ All gasp ]

And some curly fries.

KY, soon, men are gonna call you "thickness,"

then at the clinic,

the nurse’ll ask if you ever traded sex for money

and you’ll say,

"Bitch, I didn’t even know that was a possibility.

All this time

I’ve been trading sex for just attention."

I just want it to stop.

Well, why didn’t you just say that?

Made me tell you all my business.

To make it stop, you just gotta feed that thang.

Huh?

Put that CD in the disc changer.

Huh?

Put them plates in the dishwasher.

Huh?

Insert a penis into your vagina

until it ejaculates.

♪

[ Theme music playing ]

And welcome back to "The Game Show."

[ Hip‐hop music plays ]

Bachelorette #2.

Lemme me see what you working with.

About 57‐24‐38.

[ Audience murmuring ]

But I haven’t eaten in about four days,

so it might be 36.

[ Chuckles ] [ Applause ]

Okay, Mr. The Game.

Time for us to get to know the ladies’ brains.

Number 1, name three bitches

I’ve said I wanted to [Bleep]

Hi! I’m Renee!

My Uber took the long way here!

I also got my associate’s degree at ‐‐

Number 3, same question.

Um...Melyssa Ford?

Drives a Honda Accord!

[ Hip‐hop music plays ]

Hate it or love it, this is my house.

Let me give you a quick tour around my spot.

The tour isn’t really necessary.

I...I think we both know why I came on the show.

[ Classical music plays ]

Right there, that’s my study.

That’s my little gym

to get a light quick pump, you feel me?

And there’s my favorite bathroom

where I take shit‐selfies.

[ Woman moans ]

Aight, this is my special place.

The real deal where the magic is. [ Gasps ]

I’ma just let you know ‐‐

whatever happens in the next 20 minutes, happens.

I want to show you the real Jayceon.

This is a place not many get to see.

[ Hip‐hop music plays ]

You know, this is just something

I feel is necessary for anybody.

Every nigga should love themself.

What’s this one?

Oh, I call that one "Meatprint Papi."

Is there someplace

we could, mm, lay down for a second?

What? You tired?

I thought your cute nerdy ass would like this room.

Look who’s on the wall.

He made this.

Ooh.

Game recognize Game.

♪

[ Munches ]

[ Groaning ]

[ Foghorn blows ]

[ Squish! ] [ Both gasp ]

I am so sorry.

That happens when someone first tastes

my mommy’s mac and cheese.

[ Both scoff ]

They do this all the time. They’ll be back.

Listen to me.

I need you to take me to a room with a bed.

Those are being remodeled.

I’m making my room look like LAX.

Then we need to go to my house.

Okay, let me ask my mommy.

♪

I’m not really sure you needed all of this.

It’s only gonna take a few minutes or whatever.

Oh, wassup blood? Wassup, lil’ homie?

You already know what it is.

Just bickin’ back, bein’ bool,

braiding my bair.

Debbie: Please forgive our house.

I’ve lost all desire to do better because of my husband.

Barry: Hey, Mr. Game. Big fan.

I lost my virginity in a low rider.

KY: You guys are being so weird right now.

So...you’re rich

which means you probably brought us some gifts.

10 G’s will take your daughter out of Air Forces.

Whaaaat?

How’d you know I drank?

KY, you got you a good nigga.

Yo, I saw two wack‐ass niggas on your roof.

Yeah, my friends.

They’re helping me fix my leak.

Oh. I whooped they asses.

They might be dead.

But it’s okay, we’ll talk later,

’cause believe me homie, I know all about losses.

[ Snaps finger ]

♪

Surprise!

No offense, but if we gon’ be family ‐‐

I hope ‐‐ you can’t be hanging with a lighter shade

of Brown and X Clan.

Mr. Jelly, meet your new friends,

Steve and Big Blood.

You guys ever patch a roof?

What about me? Oh yeah, my bad.

Thank you!

[ Laughs ]

You still didn’t get anything?

Too bad, so sad.

You just don’t know how much this means to me.

From the bottom of my heart.

I like the way your family gets down.

I can get used to this.

[ Hip‐hop music plays ]

[ Tires squealing ]

♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

♪

[ Sighs ]

♪

[ All grunting ]

♪

[ Crowd cheering ]

Debbie: Yeah! Whoo!

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

♪

[ All laughing ]

♪

[ Slow motion ] No!

Why?!

♪

[ Gasps ]

♪

You want some Strawberry Banana Blast, little Mama?

No! I want you!

I read the fine print on the game show.

"Contestants must be willing to give up that ass!"

That’s why I applied! You right.

I was saving this surprise for later,

but now seems right.

[ Slurps ]

[ Soft music plays ]

This is the moment you’ve been waiting for.

[ Coos ] I’m about to show you...

[ Gasps ] ...what this mouth can do.

Ahh!

[ Soft music plays ]

Mm...

[ Hip‐hop music plays ]

What the hell is your problem? I don’t get you.

You have this game show,

and I win, and you don’t touch me.

What you mean? We taking it slow.

I don’t want to rush this relationship.

Let it blossom into some beautiful shit.

I just want sex.

Sex. S‐E‐X!

That’s why I went on the show.

Huh? You were just using me?

Here I am thinking you was the one.

I let my guard down and you take advantage of me.

It’s a wrap. I’ma expose yo ass.

I’ma show you who the real Doctor’s Advocate is

[ Sighs ]

♪

[ Indistinct conversations, laughter ]

It wasn’t enough that you were a nerd,

you had to make me an outcast, too!

What are you talking about?

[ Rapping] ♪ Ay, yo, bitch ♪

♪ I heard you were suckin my [Bleep] ♪

♪ Left my nuts all greasy like potatoes and chips ♪

♪ Came on to the game show and I thought you liked me ♪

♪ but you stepped on my heart like some all yellow Nikes. ♪

♪ I’m the Game, Bentley coup all red ♪

♪ watchin’ baby boy on repeat till I go to bed ♪

Why couldn’t you have just been a thot and shut up?

[ Whimpering ]

[ Laughter ]

The Game: [ Rapping ] ♪ That’s right ♪

♪ [Bleep] you Jellies ♪

♪ [Bleep] get out my house ♪

♪ Everybody get out of here ♪

♪ Gimme my Nike red Air Maxes ♪

♪ [Bleep] y’all ♪

♪ Hate it or love it ♪

♪ The Game ain’t never gonna stop ♪

♪ Y’all some bitch ass pussies ♪

[ Sobbing ] ♪ ...Nigga ♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Barry: [ Sobbing ]

[ Indistinct shouting ]

I said no comment, Charlamagne!

What’s up with you and all these damn drops?

Can’t go outside of the house ’cause of the reporters!

Don’t want to stay inside because our house is on TV,

but I can’t see it because this TV is so damn small!

[ Gulping ] [ Glass shatters ]

I’ve relapsed into being sober.

I have a rejuvenated hatred for life.

Thanks for everything, KY.

This is your fault.

I hope you feel guilty.

Maybe I’ve been concentrating too much on sex.

Maybe I’m not that girl!

Maybe screw your stupid advice,

and I’ll use my brain to settle this!

[ Indistinct shouting ]

She’s gonna get shot like Tupac,

and I won’t be able to see it on this small, stupid TV!

[ Electronic dance music playing ]

[ Gasps ]

"Cosmos," SpaceX, Neil deGrasse Tyson!

[ Screaming ]

[ Foghorn sounds ]

We really need to talk.

Yo, but did you have the Spider‐Man lunchbox?

I just wanted to say, sorry if I hurt you.

I didn’t mean to.

Naw, I had the red and white one to match my Air Max 95s.

Also, if you could call this whole diss thing off,

that would be great.

Ugh! Why is it so hard to get dick from a rapper?!

[ Music stops ]

[ Woman coughs ]

Take a walk with me, shortie.

♪

I can’t believe you used me like that‐‐

Excuse me, I need to get to the deep fryer.

I need to do my work job because

he put the chimichangas in the deep fryer

for too short and now it’s very soggy

and now I need to finish.

[ Clanking ] [ Scoffs ]

It was selfish, it was stupid,

but sometimes when you’re in love,

you do dumb‐ass shit to make that person jealous.

I wouldn’t know.

I can’t fall in love until I have sex.

Wait until you do.

It’s like sometimes you just be sitting at home,

and you can’t get this one person out of your head.

You try not to grab your phone,

but you can’t help but hit that speed dial.

Suddenly, you’re at their door with chocolate and roses. [ Doorbell rings ]

[ Cellphone buzzes ]

KY, again, I am so, so, sorry.

But one day, you’re gonna find a great man,

and you’re gonna stage

a whole TV show appearance with other men

just to make him jealous ‐‐ KY: ...jealous.

And you’re going be like "Yeah.

I get why that nigga Game broke my heart."

That was the last thing he said to me

before going back to the world of Instagram and Vine.

I still sit here in my room

hoping one day I’ll find love.

[ Hip‐hop music plays ]

♪

Man: Ay hemie, that’s my hot deg!

[ Laughs ]