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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:28,088 ♪ 2 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,676 [ Birds chirping ] 3 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,420 [ Engine revving ] 4 00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:52,687 [ Tires screech ] Aah! 5 00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:55,186 [ Sniffles ] 6 00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:57,088 I’m sorry you had to find out like this. 7 00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:58,930 No, he not. It was his idea! 8 00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:01,286 [ Engine revs, tires squeal ] 9 00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:04,860 [ School bell rings ] 10 00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,065 [ Indistinct conversations ] 11 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,266 Yo, my summer was dope. 12 00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:10,838 I went up to some space people’s office 13 00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:13,137 in Houston with my daddy’s job. 14 00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:15,910 They had something that went up into the sky. 15 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:19,749 The cafeteria was nice. 16 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:22,076 I had probably the best summer I’ve ever had 17 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,822 up to this point in my life. 18 00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:25,087 My parents decided it was time 19 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,815 for me to learn the family business, 20 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:29,090 so I got to travel with my mom and help her at work. 21 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,159 Nicki Minaj is one of my mom’s clients, 22 00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:32,788 so we got to kick it with her. 23 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,733 It was...amazing. 24 00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:36,158 Yeah, I went to L. A. 25 00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:38,203 and hung out with my dad and his new girlfriend. 26 00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:39,898 It was so much fun, and I couldn’t believe it. 27 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,270 He took me everywhere. 28 00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:42,998 I got to meet a bunch of celebrities 29 00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:44,743 who are, like, his close friends, 30 00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,168 and we even played catch. 31 00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:47,843 [ Dog barks ] [ Sobbing ] 32 00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,381 ’Cause I’m tellin’ the truth! 33 00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,136 I just found out that my whole life has been based 34 00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:53,754 on a pack of lies, and I’m actually adopted! 35 00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:57,017 What?! Oh, that’s crazy! 36 00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:58,917 What does that even mean? 37 00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:00,689 It means the people who I live with 38 00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:02,017 did not give birth to me. 39 00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:04,192 They just took me without my permission! 40 00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:07,031 Hmm, I see. 41 00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:08,327 Ooh! Any brothers? 42 00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:09,898 Do you get your good looks from your daddy? 43 00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:11,026 I don’t know! 44 00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:12,571 I don’t know who my birth parents are 45 00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:13,826 or if they’re even alive! 46 00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,574 It sucks so bad to one day wake up 47 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,469 and find everything you’ve ever know about yourself 48 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:18,611 is a lie! 49 00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:20,065 I mean, who am I? 50 00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:22,043 Look, just because you don’t know who made you 51 00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:23,612 doesn’t mean you don’t know who you are. 52 00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:25,980 Take a bottle of ketchup. It’s still ketchup. 53 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,749 What are you trying to say ‐‐ his parents don’t matter? 54 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,778 No. I’m saying, 55 00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:31,753 maybe if Cornell met his parents ‐‐ 56 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:32,952 You may be onto something! 57 00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:34,253 If I can find my parents 58 00:02:34,254 --> 00:02:35,824 and see what kind of people they are, 59 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,592 then I’ll know exactly who I am! 60 00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:40,161 Reggie, does your dad still have that super computer? 61 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,800 I don’t know. It’s at the house, maybe. 62 00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:45,167 Okay, first thing after school, 63 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,365 we head straight to your house and then ‐‐ 64 00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:48,736 [ Grunts ] [ Sternly ] Go. Right now. 65 00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:50,095 If you don’t meet your daddy, 66 00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,803 then we all don’t meet our daddy. 67 00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,105 ♪ 68 00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:55,836 Does this make us "detectivives"? 69 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,382 Yes, it does, partner. 70 00:02:57,377 --> 00:03:00,147 I guess that makes us Detectives Reg and Corn. 71 00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:02,247 Wait. What’s my name gonna be? 72 00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:05,789 Man, you always get the good names. 73 00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:08,416 Where... [ Keyboard keys clacking ] 74 00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:10,622 ...are... 75 00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:13,594 Cornell’s... 76 00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:16,363 parents? 77 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,833 [ Beeping ] 78 00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,832 W‐What does it say?! Tell me now! 79 00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:23,004 Rock...Inger... 80 00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:26,843 Won...A...Wards? 81 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,070 [ Gasps ] Uh... 82 00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:30,175 [ Elevator bell dings ] Hey, guys. 83 00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:31,977 [ Elevator bell dings ] 84 00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:33,308 What was he wearing? 85 00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:35,653 Well, my parents are going through a divorce, 86 00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:38,479 and so the therapist suggested they start practicing 87 00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:41,855 how life would be after the split so that the adjustment 88 00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:44,655 won’t be too much for me or something. 89 00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:47,258 So the other half of the results are with your mom! 90 00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:49,530 Let’s go! Or with my daddy. 91 00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:52,529 It’s really up to the judge to decide. 92 00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:54,602 ♪ 93 00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:56,501 [ Electricity crackles ] 94 00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:58,003 Oh, yeah. 95 00:03:58,004 --> 00:03:59,444 We can only go over here 96 00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:02,779 Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. 97 00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:04,676 Custody battles, 98 00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:06,178 shoot. Damn it! 99 00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,749 Well, guess we have to go off what we already have. 100 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,849 Rockinger. Wonaward. 101 00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:12,121 Rock‐inger. 102 00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:14,449 Won. A‐Awards. 103 00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:16,794 Rock singer won a award! 104 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:19,890 Reggie! My dad’s a rock singer who won an award! Let’s go! 105 00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,563 [ Electricity crackles ] 106 00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:22,861 Damn it! 107 00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:24,903 Barry: It was too soon. 108 00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:27,368 We told him way too soon. 109 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,637 The school called me and said he didn’t show up. 110 00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:30,936 He must be lashing out. 111 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,507 Well, hey, can you blame him? 112 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:35,136 He got a half‐assed daddy who did nothing but lie to him. 113 00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:36,512 What about you? 114 00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,750 Uh, I never lied! I always told him the truth. 115 00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:40,805 Now I’m sitting here, buying gifts just to make him 116 00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:42,554 feel better about some shit he should’ve already known. 117 00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:44,549 [ Snake hisses ] Or maybe, if he was raised by people 118 00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:46,351 who could’ve taught him common sense, 119 00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:49,423 I’d be spending my time in a much more productive manner. 120 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,930 Whaaat?! 121 00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:56,158 ♪ 122 00:04:56,163 --> 00:05:00,673 Oh! [ Laughs ] 123 00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:02,767 [ Laughs ] 124 00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:04,469 You go on ahead. 125 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:07,611 I gotta go take care of something. 126 00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:09,007 ♪ 127 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:12,049 Cornell, we got those new Saigon mixtapes, 128 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:13,705 fresh off the press. 129 00:05:13,713 --> 00:05:15,453 Whadda ya say? Not now, punk! 130 00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:17,248 I need to find an album by a rock singer 131 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:18,690 who won an award. 132 00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:21,045 [ Laughing ] Look at you! 133 00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,794 Playing a little detective, I see. 134 00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:28,961 Hmm, the only one here seems to be Avril Lavigne. 135 00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,632 None of these will do you any good. 136 00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:34,630 Try that section over there next to "Mariachi Metal." 137 00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:38,474 ♪ 138 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,276 Cornell: Oh, wow! 139 00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:46,648 So ugly. 140 00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:47,706 [ CD thuds ] 141 00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:48,784 No luck? 142 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,152 Not even a little. 143 00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:52,690 Now I’ll never go to the daddy‐daughter dance. 144 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,316 Hey, don’t give up. 145 00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:57,921 The search only stops when you close your eyes. 146 00:05:57,924 --> 00:05:59,364 Thanks, R. G.! 147 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,889 You’re the best! I love you! 148 00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:03,395 I want a dog. 149 00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:07,366 But not just any dog. This dog. 150 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,767 [ Angelic music plays ] 151 00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:11,699 Why can’t you get the one in the front?! 152 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,205 Come on, man. 153 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,506 Just give me that one, please? No, no! 154 00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:17,378 Get the one in the front. Come on, partner. 155 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,947 We’ve got a lot of work to do. No, I can’t believe... 156 00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:21,545 I’ll be back for you, baby! 157 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:25,518 ♪ 158 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,200 This is it, Reggie. 159 00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:39,628 Something deep inside of my heart 160 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,703 tells me this is where they are. 161 00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:46,565 ♪ 162 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:47,543 Cornell... 163 00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:49,610 I think these are all girls. 164 00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:53,409 I don’t see your daddy, Cornell, in here. 165 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,053 Well, maybe they can help me find my mom 166 00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:56,548 since they’re all ladies. 167 00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:59,449 Detective Corn here. I got a couple of questions ‐‐ 168 00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:00,352 Move, nigga. 169 00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:03,263 Yo! Who you calling a bitch? 170 00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,386 A new lead! 171 00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:09,664 I now know exactly where we need to go. 172 00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:13,673 ♪ 173 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,468 [ Doorbell rings ] 174 00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:21,109 [ Chuckling nervously ] Oh, Cornell. 175 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,437 Hey, buddy, uh, what brings you around here? 176 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,383 There’s, uh ‐‐ There’s no need to mention this to your dad, 177 00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:27,578 by the way. That’s actually why I’m here. 178 00:07:27,580 --> 00:07:29,920 Don’t tell your dad about this, okay? Please. 179 00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:32,076 I’m trying to see if my mom and dad are here. 180 00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:33,445 My real mom and dad. 181 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,423 Not those evil demons you call neighbors. 182 00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:38,022 You know, I, uh ‐‐ I just might be able to help you out. 183 00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,634 I got this, uh ‐‐ I got this book. 184 00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,126 It’s, uh ‐‐ It’s a book filled 185 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:43,197 with all fathers who left their kids. 186 00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:44,626 I’ll tell you what. 187 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,401 You and your friend can come over to my house, 188 00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:47,899 and we can talk this one out. 189 00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,541 It’s good to get things off your chest, 190 00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:52,206 whale to boy. Listen to the whale, Cornell. 191 00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:56,105 He might be onto something. 192 00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:57,739 Mervin: Hey, no! Wait, wait! 193 00:07:57,744 --> 00:07:59,884 All right, stop, stop, stop. Your shoes! 194 00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:03,379 I don’t want them in my house! Get them off of my house. 195 00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:06,823 What do you not understand about absolutely no shoes?! 196 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,960 Jesus Christ! 197 00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:10,685 And you’re still wearing them! 198 00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:12,090 Arghh! 199 00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:15,362 Good. Let me go find this book. 200 00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:17,632 I think you left it in the study, Mervy. 201 00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:20,630 Uh, that’s my, uh... roommate, Marcus. 202 00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:23,703 Try not to weird them out too much. 203 00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:25,343 So, Cornell. 204 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,538 Tell me something about yourself. 205 00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:29,710 I always like to know things about people, 206 00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:31,279 like for example, 207 00:08:31,277 --> 00:08:33,947 when I was 11, my parents got me this pet ‐‐ 208 00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,077 Man: Are you looking for something and don’t know where it is, 209 00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:37,422 like a dog or something? 210 00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:39,617 Then call Jerry, the award winning show! 211 00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:41,519 ...that hamster tried to take me out, 212 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,161 still looked at him like a brother. [ Door closes ] 213 00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:44,486 What the hell, Marcus? 214 00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:46,961 Did you tell them the hamster story again? 215 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,260 Ugh! 216 00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,101 ♪ 217 00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:52,026 We’re back with "The Jerry Show." 218 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,672 We got Cornell here. 219 00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:54,896 Now, Cornell. 220 00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:57,371 You tell me that you haven’t met your parents. 221 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,610 So, this means that your parents and yourself... 222 00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:01,066 they haven’t met each other. 223 00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:02,314 [ Audience "awws" ] 224 00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:03,608 Yes, Jerry! 225 00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:06,350 Cornell and his parents have not met. 226 00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:07,546 [ Audience exclaims ] 227 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,117 What if I told you... 228 00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:11,245 I found your parents. 229 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,251 [ Cheers and applause ] 230 00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:15,223 Man: Yeah, reunite these niggas, Jerry. 231 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,921 Cornell’s parents... 232 00:09:16,923 --> 00:09:18,393 meet Cornell. 233 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:21,061 [ Applause ] 234 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,101 No. No! He is not my father! 235 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:24,756 He’s an imposter! 236 00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:25,934 [ Audience screams ] 237 00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:27,472 What? Dat ass, yo? 238 00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,937 Calm down. Listen. Hear us out. 239 00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:32,666 Shut the [bleep] up, Barry! You [bleep] ass! 240 00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:35,112 Boy, you better listen to your daddy. 241 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,238 [ Grunts ] 242 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,453 Look, Cornell, it wasn’t right of me 243 00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:41,476 to keep this a secret for so long. 244 00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:43,281 You had every right to know. 245 00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:44,853 We weren’t sure if you could handle it. 246 00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:46,321 And we didn’t want it to affect you 247 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,019 at such an important age in your life. 248 00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:50,721 I guess there wasn’t really a right time to tell you. 249 00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:53,163 I wish I could’ve figured that out sooner, 250 00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:55,089 but I know now I messed up. 251 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,025 I should’ve told you sooner. 252 00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,460 Just know one thing ‐‐ 253 00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,995 no matter what, that you, Cornell, 254 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,440 are a Jellie. 255 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,995 The reason I was mad in the first place 256 00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:06,613 was ’cause you guys kept that secret from me. 257 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:09,876 Felt like I was lied to by the people I trusted most. 258 00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:12,236 I know I can be slightly emotional about things, 259 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:15,345 but I almost have a beard now, which means I’m a grown adult, 260 00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:17,878 which means I can handle that type of stuff. 261 00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:19,654 [ Audience "awws" ] 262 00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:22,152 Now, are you guys gonna be a family? 263 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,485 Yes, Jerry. 264 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,420 I don’t care about my birth parents, 265 00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:28,325 ’cause you guys are all the family I need. 266 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:31,728 ♪ 267 00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:33,601 [ Coughs ] 268 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,270 Yo [bleep] the family [bleep] man. 269 00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:36,638 This [bleep] mad corny, B. 270 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,296 Get off the stage with this fugazee. 271 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,814 [ Indistinct shouting ] 272 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,206 [Bleep] 273 00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:42,637 It sound like someone got a [bleep] 274 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:43,742 in this mother [bleep] 275 00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:45,283 I’m about to [bleep] on you. 276 00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,448 Straight body‐shot [bleep] Woot‐woot! 277 00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:49,647 ‐[ Indistinct shouting ] ‐Damn, son! 278 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:52,419 All right, that’s all the time we have today, folks. 279 00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:54,388 See ya next week! 280 00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:56,417 ♪ 281 00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:57,792 Yeah, mother [bleep] 282 00:10:57,790 --> 00:10:59,760 Yeah, you gonna [bleep] that dog [bleep] 283 00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:01,889 I’ll give you my dog up yo [bleep] 284 00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:04,755 You gonna give me my [bleep] dog, mother [bleep] 285 00:11:04,764 --> 00:11:06,704 [ Bell dings ] I kill you. 286 00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:10,569 ♪ 287 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:23,021 Hey, homey! That’s my hot dog. 288 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,476 [ Laughs ] 20362

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