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1
00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:28,032
♪
2
00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:44,214
♪
3
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:48,951
[ Camera shutter clicking ]
4
00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:49,949
[ Beep ]
5
00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:51,420
Do you remember
how much these were?
6
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:53,988
Bitch, do I look
like your co‐worker?
7
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:55,317
[ Sighs ]
8
00:00:55,322 --> 00:00:56,522
[ Speaker feedback ]
9
00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:58,563
Carlos,
price check on aisle eight.
10
00:00:58,559 --> 00:00:59,989
[ Moans ]
Super Strength Cat Cleaner
11
00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:01,593
price check on Aisle 8!
[ Baby cries ]
12
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,125
Oh!
Super Strength Cat Cleaner
13
00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:05,000
price check on Aisle 8.
14
00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:10,402
Was all that
even necessary?
15
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,514
And make it quick.
16
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:15,236
They’re $13.99.
17
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:18,952
Oh, these must be for you.
18
00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:20,376
[ Buzz ]
19
00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:22,020
Fine, you got me.
20
00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:25,345
Actually, ma’am, it appears that
your credit card has declined.
21
00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:27,192
What?
Nah, that’s a mistake.
22
00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:28,487
Run it again.
23
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:30,518
[ Buzz ]
24
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,694
[ Cellphone beeps, rings ]
25
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:35,033
Hello? Yes, it’s Debbie Jellie
speaking,
26
00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:37,598
calling on behalf of
my credit card being declined.
27
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,128
Excuse me?
A what?
28
00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:41,572
No, I did not buy
no damn solar panels.
29
00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:43,268
This must be fraud.
30
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,110
A Mr. Barry Jellie?
31
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,465
Okay, thank you.
32
00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:48,944
I’m sorry about that, sir.
33
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:52,482
There was a problem
on my husband’s behalf.
34
00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:55,049
Ma’am,
you gotta pay for that.
35
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:59,150
[ Tires squeal ]
[ Crash! ]
36
00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:00,892
Hi, honey, just in time
37
00:02:00,887 --> 00:02:04,257
for a blueberry
avocado saammoothie!
38
00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:07,087
[ Whirring ]
39
00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:08,804
$1,800?
40
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,655
18‐hundred damn dollars?!
41
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:11,804
It’s an investment.
42
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,998
It has a built‐in GPS.
43
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:16,671
I have never been
more embarrassed in my life
44
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:17,940
than at that grocery store.
45
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:19,838
I can’t even buy cat cleaner
there again.
46
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,440
I mean, you’re worse
than these kids.
47
00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:23,881
Give me that damn thing.
We’re taking this thing back.
48
00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:26,477
[ Dramatic music plays ]
49
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,080
[ Gasps ]
Is that a belly button ring?
50
00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:30,782
All the guys were doing it,
Debbie.
51
00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:32,994
It’s cool.
[ Laughs ]
52
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,916
Okay, this must be a joke.
Either this is a joke,
53
00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:38,192
or you must want me to kill
the hell out of you right now!
54
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:40,161
No, no.
Don’t be mad.
55
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,860
I talked him into those.
56
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:43,802
The nigga
from "Hustle and Flow"?
57
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:45,197
I rented him, baby.
58
00:02:45,198 --> 00:02:48,228
He’s only 200 bucks an hour,
can you believe it?
59
00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:49,835
I’m just living my life.
60
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,436
I had a breakthrough,
honey.
61
00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:53,668
Hey, man,
this hour’s almost done.
62
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,344
Would you like me
to charge another?
63
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,742
Mm, thanks.
64
00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:58,243
And a turtle?!
65
00:02:58,245 --> 00:02:59,745
That I did not buy.
66
00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:01,916
That’s where I draw
the goddamn line!
67
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:03,215
First you mope
around this house
68
00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:05,146
like you hate your life
and complain,
69
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:06,692
now you just go
and start spending
70
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,387
all of my hard‐earned money
71
00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:09,618
that I don’t work for?
72
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:10,893
You’re messing
with my liquor,
73
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:12,491
and that’s
where I don’t play!
74
00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:14,362
Get your ass out, Barry!
75
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,301
[ Gasps, cries ]
76
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:21,534
[Thumping]
Space is just
like a big book.
77
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:24,565
Barry: Oh!
[ Door slams ]
78
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:25,671
What happened to Dad?
79
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:26,912
You father is an idiot,
80
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,307
and I’m sick of his shit.
81
00:03:28,308 --> 00:03:29,708
He’s triflin’, he’s messy,
82
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,880
and I can’t put up with it
anymore.
83
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,048
What are you wearing?
84
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:36,046
Mom, I have something
to tell you.
85
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,749
I’m really concerned
that you and Dad
86
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,591
are gonna get a divorce
like Reggie’s parents.
87
00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:41,216
That could really
mess a child up.
88
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,021
Surgically dividing households
in a way
89
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:44,793
that creates abnormality,
instability,
90
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:47,461
and insecurity in a way
I am unprepared for.
91
00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:49,131
Boy, you grown.
You should have thought about it
92
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:51,129
before buying
that stupid‐ass turtle.
93
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:52,131
Don’t say that!
94
00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:55,602
You’re hurting
Tonto’s feelings.
95
00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:58,502
[ Sobbing ]
96
00:03:58,505 --> 00:04:01,365
♪
97
00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:04,684
[ Crying ]
98
00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:10,817
♪
99
00:04:13,353 --> 00:04:14,853
That’s it!
100
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,555
If I can just get Arnez
to perform for my parents,
101
00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:19,456
they’ll remember all over again
how much they love each other.
102
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:20,559
[ Smooches ]
103
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,060
♪
104
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,803
RG, I need your help!
[ Gasps ]
105
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,398
Of course you do, man.
106
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:28,769
It is important you tell me
everything you know
107
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,369
about the music artist Arnez.
108
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:31,600
He’s the only hope I have
109
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:32,805
for getting
my parents back together.
110
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:34,406
[ Laughing ] Arnez?
111
00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:36,007
I remember that fool.
112
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:39,579
He was, like, the most popular
singer in the ’90s.
113
00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:42,619
He was everywhere ‐‐
radio, music videos,
114
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,516
commercials,
"Jet" magazine.
115
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,688
You really
couldn’t escape him.
116
00:04:46,686 --> 00:04:48,546
At least, that’s how it was
117
00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:51,185
until that night.
118
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:54,431
♪ Pop that cootchie for me ♪
119
00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:55,897
[ Cheering ]
120
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,356
♪ Pop ♪
121
00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:59,074
I just want to be real
with y’all.
122
00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:00,865
I been battling some things
in my life,
123
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,837
but by the grace of God,
I made it through.
124
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,396
I’m proud to come out
125
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:06,174
as vegan.
[ Crowd booing ]
126
00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:08,913
Then it happened,
and everything changed.
127
00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:11,079
[ Crowd booing ]
128
00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:13,707
He lost it all, man.
It was sad.
129
00:05:13,713 --> 00:05:16,023
I guess being
an open gluten‐free/vegan
130
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,346
was "too progressive"
for the ’90s.
131
00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:19,921
That’s horrible.
132
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,550
So where can I find Arnez
today?
133
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:22,855
Last I heard, he was living
134
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,856
at Gangsta’s Paradise
retirement home
135
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,188
in Long Beach, California.
136
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:28,193
I could take you there
if you’d like.
137
00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:29,295
Awesome!
138
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:30,396
What about your store?
139
00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:31,927
[ Clears throat ]
140
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,972
[ Humming ]
141
00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:39,835
♪
142
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,870
[ Engine starts ]
143
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,175
[ Engine revs ]
144
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,036
[ Tires squeal ]
145
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:48,145
What you are doing
is unconstitutional.
146
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:50,518
I have rights
just like everybody else.
147
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,947
Why do you look at me
with such hate in your eyes?
148
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:55,923
I’m sorry, but the law says
no shirts, no service.
149
00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:57,092
I can’t wear a shirt!
150
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,460
I was born like this!
151
00:05:58,458 --> 00:05:59,788
Look, if you don’t like it,
152
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,333
maybe you should run
for mayor.
153
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:02,358
You know what?
154
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,502
Maybe I will.
155
00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:07,767
♪
156
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:21,381
♪
157
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:30,518
Mr. Hall,
I see you’re checking back in.
158
00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:33,633
Yeah, NBC played a brotha.
159
00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:34,827
What is this place?
160
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,698
Alanis Morisette:
You oughta know.
161
00:06:36,696 --> 00:06:38,056
Greetings, homies,
162
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,704
and welcome
to Gangsta’s Paradise,
163
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:43,970
where all the stars
of yesterday come to retire.
164
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:45,970
I opened it up
a few years ago
165
00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:48,472
after appearing
in a "Celebrity Wife Swap,"
166
00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:51,575
realizing life could only
go downhill from there.
167
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,478
So what brings you to GPH?
168
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,050
Hello, Mr. Coolio.
My name is Cornell,
169
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:58,179
and I’m looking for an artist
by the name of Arnez.
170
00:06:58,184 --> 00:06:59,954
He’s the only person
who has any chance
171
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,423
of bringing my parents
back together.
172
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,661
Yeah, that’s clearly
a prerecorded message.
173
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,788
Of course, look around.
174
00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:09,503
They’re welcome to leave
whenever you find the people
175
00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:11,956
you are looking for.
176
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,865
♪ This is how we do it ♪
177
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,367
Montell,
shut the hell up, man!
178
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,538
I’m tired
of that goddamn singing, man.
179
00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:18,867
Shut the hell up.
180
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,312
Don’t be so mad, Chris.
181
00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:22,377
Barney, shut your purple ass up,
too, man.
182
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:23,475
Damn.
183
00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:24,676
But I love you.
184
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:27,578
Do you love me?
185
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,322
There he is!
186
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:31,547
Arnez!
187
00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:33,191
♪
188
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:34,786
I’ve been looking
all over for you!
189
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,318
I need you to come home with me
and sing to my parents.
190
00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:39,534
They fell in love to your music,
and hearing it all over again
191
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:42,256
is the only chance I have
of getting them back together.
192
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:44,462
Will you do it?
I’d love to.
193
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:50,040
Who are you?
Hi. I’m Cornell,
and this is RG.
194
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:51,336
[ Whispering ]
Only problem is,
195
00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:54,438
we’ll never make it
out of here alive.
196
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:57,081
But Coolio said we could leave
whenever we want to.
197
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,577
Man, Coolio
is a damn fool.
198
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:00,778
He can’t bear the thought of
anyone else making it
199
00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:02,620
past the ’90s,
so once you check in,
200
00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:04,275
he keeps you here
with him forever,
201
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:07,154
except for Joey Fatone
and Mario Lopez.
202
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,493
That’s ridiculous.
203
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,718
I think I spotted an exit door
on my way in.
204
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:11,864
Follow me!
205
00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:14,358
[ Whirring ]
206
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:20,000
♪
207
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,536
Yo, stop!
208
00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:33,384
[ Laughs ] Yo, yo,
I’m just messing with you.
209
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,550
Where you off to?
Nowhere.
210
00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:36,547
He was just
showing us around.
211
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:38,989
Yo, yo, my man!
Ain’t no reason
to lie to the X!
212
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:40,785
Okay, you’re right, Mr. X.
213
00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:43,187
We’re breaking him out of here
to save my parents’ marriage.
214
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,689
Hey, yo, that made me feel
some type of way inside,
215
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,962
like around my heart.
I want to help y’all out.
216
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,461
[ Laser blasts ]
217
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:50,762
Get them.
218
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,904
[ Laser blasting ]
219
00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:56,669
Where my dawgs at?!
220
00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:58,469
[ Dogs barking ]
221
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:01,571
♪
222
00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:02,714
Follow me!
223
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,209
[ Dogs barking ]
224
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,450
[ Lasers blasting ]
225
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:10,476
♪
226
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,183
[ Tires squeal ]
227
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:15,015
[ Rifle cocks ]
228
00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:19,091
Ricky!
229
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:20,132
[ Gunshot ]
230
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,056
[ Slow‐motion ] Aaah!
231
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,562
[ Gunshot ]
232
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:25,834
[ Lasers blasting ]
233
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:29,672
♪
234
00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:31,999
[ Lasers blasting ]
235
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,336
Samuel: Man, you did
the right thing, Barry.
236
00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:39,554
Females just
don’t understand
237
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:41,446
what it is
to have a midlife crisis.
238
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:43,818
You know, my lady
tried telling me what to buy,
239
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,347
but I nipped that in the bud.
240
00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:48,691
Laid that law down.
You feel me?
241
00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:51,558
You also haven’t had
a girlfriend in like 10 years.
242
00:09:51,558 --> 00:09:53,188
She did have a point,
though.
243
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,163
The store did have
a different smoothie machine
244
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:56,561
on sale for 500 bucks.
245
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:58,903
You need to return
all of it, Barry.
246
00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:01,198
If I learned anything
from my wife
247
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,171
and my other wife in Mexico,
248
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:06,139
the one thing
you can’t put a price on today
249
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:08,469
is love.
You’re right, Chata.
250
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:11,905
Do you think Debbie will ever
be able to forgive me?
251
00:10:11,911 --> 00:10:13,281
Of course.
252
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:16,619
Your wife is one
of the most loving,
253
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,516
forgiving people I know.
254
00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:20,949
Personally.
255
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,394
[ Slurping ]
256
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:25,458
♪
257
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,790
[ Tires squeal ]
258
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,755
If you’d just stop
for one second, Debbie,
259
00:10:30,763 --> 00:10:32,673
I have something very important
to tell you.
260
00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:34,395
What does your
convertible‐driving,
261
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,100
blender‐buying,
credit card‐declining self
262
00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:39,272
have to say to me before I turn
this bitch into the Watts Riots?
263
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,472
Please,
just put the lighter down,
264
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:45,244
take a moment, breathe,
and ‐‐
265
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:50,745
♪ Pop that cootchie
for me‐e‐e‐e ♪
266
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,750
♪ Yeah ♪
267
00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:54,852
♪ Pop that cootchie for me ♪
Oh, Barry!
268
00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:58,064
I can’t believe
you brought Arnez here for me.
269
00:10:58,057 --> 00:10:59,727
I love you.
270
00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:02,086
I love you, too.
271
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:04,425
♪ Pop that cootchie for me ♪
272
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,700
♪ Pop that cootchie for me ♪
273
00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:12,569
♪ Pop that cootchie
for a real ass playa ♪
274
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:15,912
Yeah, yeah. That’s it
right there, man.
275
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:19,179
♪
276
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,263
Hey, homey! That’s my hot dog.
277
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:34,088
[ Laughs ]
19164
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