All language subtitles for The New Legend of Shaolin (1994) EN - Jet Li

(FLIES BUZZING)

(CROWS CAWING)

(BABY COOING)

Ting! Ting!

(BABY COOING)

Our village
was slaughtered

because we rebelled
against a corrupt government.

Now, I'm the last,

and must go into hiding.

But you, my son...
(BABY GURGLES)

I will leave it...

To you to decide
your own fate.

If you choose the sword,

we will live
and fight together.

But if you choose
your favorite toy,

I will send you
to heaven to join...

Your beautiful mother.

(GRUNTING)

(GROANS)

(CRYING)
Shed no more tears,
my son.

From this day forward,

we shed only the blood
of our enemies.

(WHINNIES)

No! No, I'm too late!
They're dead!

Please forgive me.
Forgive me!

It's all my fault.

Ying Lee,
you're not to blame.

I learned of
the government's plans.

I tried to get here
to warn you,

but I was too late.

You did all
that you could.

Now you must save yourself.

But what about you?

I will be all right.

No, you won't!

(GRUNTS)

(ALL SHOUTING)

(ALL GRUNTING)

(ALL GRUNTING)

(CRYING)

You coward!
(YELLS)

Why have you betrayed us?

The government is too powerful
for us to fight,

so I have chosen
to side with them.

My family is dead!

They got in the way
of the new dynasty.

(GRUNTS)

(YELLS)
(GRUNTS)

How can you do this?

Because you've got
a bounty on your head.

For money?

Can you think
of a better reason?

(GRUNTS)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(PANTING)

(CRIES OUT)

Argh!

(SQUELCHES)

(GROANING)

(GROANING)

(GROANING)

(BELL RINGING)

(GROANING IN PAIN)

Why did the master put
those tattoos on us?

Because now we have five parts
of a map on our backs.

And that map is the key
to the Shaolin treasure.

Uh, that way the government
can't find it.

Fong's right.
They'd have to catch us all.
BOY: Hey, wait a minute!

I don't want a treasure map
on my back.

Hey! Quit worrying.

There's no way
they're gonna catch us all.

Yeah, but what if
they come after us?

He's right, Chiu.
What if somebody
wants the map?

What do we do?
Come on.

We'll kick their ass!

We're Shaolin warriors.

My back is still sore
from yesterday, Dad.

The monks put
these tattoos...

Don't speak of the tattoos.
Do you hear me?

Don't breathe
a word of it.

I don't want anyone to know
you go to Shaolin.

Why not, Dad?

What's wrong
with Shaolin, huh?

Listen up!

We keep it quiet
out here

because you never know.

Any one of these people
out here could be a spy

for the government.

You're afraid
of the government?

Well...(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Let's just say

I don't want the government
to confiscate all my wealth.

You know, if they knew
that I was raising
a little rabble-rouser,

the first thing they'd do
is they'd take everything.

So, you see, let's just keep
everything that happens
in the Shaolin temple

between you and me, okay?

All right.
Let's get some
ice cream. Come on.

Excuse me.
How much are the pears?
Two cents each.

Give me two
then, please.

Make it one.

(CRYING)

No! My poor, dead mother.

What am I gonna do?

Ting, I have to go in here
and talk to your uncle.

Stay out here and don't move
until I call you.

MAN 1: How sad.
Her mother's dead.

MAN 2: And she's too poor
to pay for the funeral.

MAN 3: If I had money,
I'd help her out.

Hey, now, listen.

I'm charitable
as the next guy,

but I've heard tell

of a mother-daughter team,
con artists,

who go from town to town.

They pull these scams
and steal people's money.

She's too pretty
to be a thief, huh?

The prettier they are,
the more devious.

Am I right, fellas?
CROWD: Yeah!

MAN 4: Let's get out of here.

Argh! (GROANS)

Let's get you to a doctor.

Look at him.

He hasn't moved
for 10 minutes.

Hey,
we'll make you move.
Let's do it!

(ALL GIGGLING)

I'm sorry, Han, for coming
to see you here like this.

Think nothing of it.
You and I are brothers.

I've missed you
all of these years.

I know that you've
been in hiding,

and, well, if there's
anything I can do to help,

you let me know.

I don't mean to involve
you in my troubles,

but I'm very concerned
for my son's safety.

Can you please take care
of Ting for me, my brother?

Of course!

What kind of uncle
would I be if I didn't?

Did you hear there's to be
a raid on the Shaolin temple?

A raid?
The government is
looking for a map.

It shows the location
of the rebel treasure.

They'll...

They'll do anything
to find it.

Hey, what's your name, huh?

I'm called Red Bean.
Ah.

Miss Red Bean!

(GASPS, GIGGLES)

I want to help you.

First, I'll pay
for your mom's funeral.

Then, I'll make you my wife.

Come on! Give me a break.

What does she want
a fat slob like you for?

What's that?

This is my business.
Move along.

(SNICKERS)
What's your choice, sweetie?

A cream puff
or a real man?

Unhand her!
Huh?

(GRUNTS)

Hey, cheese wad!

(CHUCKLES) Now,
don't be angry here.

We're both gentlemen.

I'm sure we can
work something out.

It's best if you leave
Ting here and be moving on.

Hey, Ting.

(GRUNTS)

I thought I could
trust my brother.

How could you betray me?

I'm sorry,

but the reward
on your head is great.

I should have suspected

when you mentioned
the treasure.

Say what?

The Shaolin
treasure map

is a very closely
guarded secret...

Known only
to a few rebels...

And those who have
become government spies.

You are correct.

But without your spear,
how will you stop me?

Huh?

My spear!

(GRUNTING)

Here it is, Dad!

(ALL GRUNTING)

Hello, uncle.

Kwun, please show mercy
on your misguided brother.

Nephew, please ask
your father for mercy.

Remember, there is nothing
more important than family.
(BROTHER GRUNTING)

(SCREAMING)

(CROWD GASPS)

(YELLS)

(GRUNTS)

(CROWD GASPING)

That's my bodyguard.

So, still want to fight?
Huh?

(GRUNTS MENACINGLY)

Don't move, honey,
I'll be right back, okay?

Uh, excuse me, sir.
What is it?

I would like you
to teach me

to be a kung fu master
like you.

I cannot.

Hey, I can pay!

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Nothing. Never mind.

I had to turn him down.

I know.

Our mystical skills

cannot be taught
to outsiders.

(STOMACH GROWLING)

Hungry?
Mmm-hmm.

Where's the pear?

It got smashed.

We'll buy some noodles.

How can we? We're out
of money, remember?

Let me buy you
something to drink

and we can get
acquainted, okay?

I would like that.
(LAUGHS) Good. Let's go.

You want a bodyguard?

No, not a bodyguard.
I said a teacher, okay?

No teaching.
Protection only.

Well, if that's the case,
I won't pay much.

All you'll get is
room and board, okay?

Deal.
Good. Then follow us.

(CHUCKLES)
Come on. Let's go.

CHONG: (LAUGHING)
Oh, they take your breath
away, don't they?

Go ahead,
try them on.

Ah, yes.

Yes, one for each finger.

They look beautiful
on you, too.

And there's more
where that came from.

All for my lovely new bride.

You honor me
with your greatness.

Ah, but you will experience
my true greatness

on our wedding night.

We have company.

CHONG: Oh, yeah.

Have something to eat,
my pretty.

(GASPS)

Let's, you and I,
discuss your duties
while you're working for me.

First, if I see
something I want,

well, you take it for me,

whether it's
another man's farmland

or his woman
or all of his money.

You're to do as I say,
and get it for me. Got it?

I will only protect you.

Not steal for you or bully.

(LAUGHS)

Come on, now. I know
you're smarter than that.

You can't go through life
tiptoeing around
every little thing.

You must go out
and take it.

That's how I became
so wealthy.

Another man's property
became my property.

Another man's daughter
became my wife.

You see,
it's all very simple.

And if someone were to take
your new wife or property,
how would you feel?

I'm not too worried
about that,

not with you around
to protect me.

Just obey my orders,
you see.

And above all,
remember my golden rule,

"Do unto others so I can
help myself." (LAUGHS)

I don't like that rule.

CHONG: Wait a minute!

All right.

You just be
my bodyguard.

And if I need
something taken,

someone else
will do it, okay?

Let's get something to eat.
(RED BEAN BURPS)

I'm sorry.
I guess I was hungry.

An appetite.
That's good.

Hey, we'll get you
something to eat later, okay?

Come on, son.

RED BEAN: Little boy?
I saved this for you.

Catch.

(CHUCKLES)

Here, Dad.
Where'd you get it?

Miss Red Bean.
I don't trust her.

Then I won't
trust her either.

Ting, do you regret
living this way?

We're a team, Papa.
No regrets.

Hey, Mom, come on, get up.

Such a good actress
even I believe you're dead.

Playing dead
isn't easy.

Especially on
an empty stomach.

Here you go.
Your favorite kind of chicken.

Wait a minute! Are you
holding out on me?

Huh?
Oh! I was gonna
show them to you.

You'll do more than show
them to me, young lady.

We had an agreement,
we split the take 50-50.

Please. Do you think
I'd cheat my own mother?

I saved the most valuable
for you.

Wow! It's beautiful.

I don't know what to say.

Fork over
the good stuff.

(GRUNTS)

Okay, all right.
You don't need to get violent.

One for you, one for me,

one for me, one for you,
one for me...

Whoa, whoa, wait!

Don't try to sucker me.
Let's start over.

(SIGHS) If you say so.
Mom, wait!
No, I want mine!

Chong wears a necklace.

It's absolutely priceless.

Why are we arguing
over these trinkets?

Then we must
steal it.

I know, but...
But what?

We'll have to find a way
around his bodyguard.
Hmm.

Hello, how are you?

Doing laundry?

Like some candy?

Uh-uh.

Can I give you a hand?

Can you help me
get these stains

out of my dad's underwear?

Mmm.

How are you today?

Is there something I can do
for you, Miss, uh, Red Bean?

I'd like to sew you
a colorful new robe,

so just hold still.

I don't need a new robe.

But thank you anyway.

Oh, but I want you
to look nice...

For my wedding party.

It's very important

(YELLS) to me!

I think you may be making
the collar too tight.

Okay, let's measure
the sleeves.

(SCREAMS)

Would you like me to measure
your inseam?

(GRUNTS)

Careful with those.

I know what I'm doing.

Just leave it to me.

I'm afraid
I don't have the time.

Won't take but a moment.

It's going
to look wonderful.

I disagree.

I'll fix it.

I'm a great seamstress.

Miss Red Bean,
I've heard many stories of...

A young woman in these parts
who's really a con artist.

I hope you're not
accusing me.

It's unwise to make
an enemy of me.

(SIGHS)

Quit playing possum.

Why'd you do that?

We're friends now.
Just a little love bite.

If you're the young woman
I've heard about,

then we are not friends.

How do you know?
We might really get along.

Don't play games.

As long as I am employed
in this house...

I will not stand by
and allow you
to cause problems.

Oh, okay. If that's the way
you want it to be.

But what would you do
if I were to steal something

from the master of the house?

Don't force me to hurt you.

Oh, I like that.

You're sexy when you
talk tough, you know that?

You're gonna be fun.
Ta-ta for now.

(LAUGHS)

What did she want?

Nothing.

Men act strange
around pretty women.

Their brains turn to mush
and they do weird things.

You watch yourself
around her, Dad,

because she's
nothing but trouble
with a capital "T."

You are wise...
Beyond your years.

Well, Dad,
I just worry about you.

And when I used
my kung fu on him,

he didn't stand a chance.

Huh?
Whoa!

And just what
do you call that?
Kung fu stance.

(LAUGHS)

You think you know kung fu?
I do!

Well, I learned
from Shaolin.

You think you're better
than me, huh?
No.

Why do you keep your leg up
in the air like that?

My dad says I can't
put it down till noon.

You call that training?

Don't do that!

I went easy that time.

But this time
I won't hold back.

(GRUNTS)

Hey, no fair!

Come on, let me go.

(BOY GRUNTING)

It is now noontime.

(GRUNTING)

Next time, I won't hold back.

I'll get you!

CHIU: (READING)
"My Shaolin brothers,
I have been humiliated.

"Come help me seek revenge."

Fly straight and true,
my feathered comrade.

All the way to Shaolin!

(ALL YELLING)

You want to live?

Tell us where the boys are.

Come on, move it!

(GRUNTS)

Search every boy. Go!

What should we do?

Hurry and find
the boys. Quickly!

Come with me.

Get them into the tunnels!

Come on!
Move!

Attack!

After them.

(ALL YELLING)

It's been a long time.

Can it really be you,
Ying Lee?

I thought you were killed
by Kwun seven years ago.

He thought he killed me,

him and that
magic spear of his.

But I survived.

I was cured by
the Yihang witch.

She made me invincible.

When I was a boy,
you were my master...

So I will be merciful
to you, old man.

But only if you give me
the map.

I will never give
in to evil.

You stupid,
stubborn old man.

Sir, these boys
were a decoy.

Sir, a message.

Hmm.

The boys have a friend.

That will be our first place
to search.

(LAUGHING)

(ALL PANTING)
Hey! Hey, Chiu.

Hey, wait, you can't
come in here. Go away!

Hey, those are my friends.

What happened?
We had to escape
from the temple.

Huh? Did you get my message?

Soldiers attacked the temple
and burned it to the ground.

And the master was killed

and our friends
were slaughtered.

They're looking for the maps
tattooed on our backs.

Okay, get yourselves
cleaned up

and we'll go find my dad.

No, no. I don't know anything
about any boys.
CHIU: Hey, Dad!

My friends are here.

(BOYS LAUGHING)

Dad, these guys
live down the street,

and they've been bullying me.

(LAUGHING) Hey, we've
been nice so far.

We're just trying
to get the money you owe us.

So pay up soon...

(GASPS)
Or we get violent.

(LAUGHS)

You little thugs!
Beat it! Go on!
Let's go.

Is this your boy?
Yes, sir.

Doesn't he study at Shaolin?

Oh, no, sir!
I would never
send him there.

Those monks and priests,
they're too strange.

That's good to hear.

(FLY BUZZING)

That fly is starting
to annoy me.

Thanks for washing
my underwear.

But you tore them.

I'm sorry.
That's okay.

I made a smaller pair
out of them for you.

Thanks, Dad.

Does that mean
you're not wearing
any underpants?

I don't mind.
It's cooler.

Did you fight
with young Master Chiu?

He started it.

That was wrong.

But what good are my skills
if I can't use them?

You must remember, son,
that we are in hiding.

If you show your skills,
we might be discovered.

I will try my best
not to fight, Father.

Eleven, 12, 13,

14, 15,

16, 17, 18...

Let's go.
Ow!

(GRUNTS)
You made me lose count.

All right, what do you want?

What do you think?

Time for a little
payback, stupid.
(BOYS GRUNT)

I won't fight you.

Yes, you will, tough guy.
Come on! (GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)
Back off!

Ow!

(ALL GRUNTING)

Leave me alone.

Your only way out
is to fight us all.

(BOYS GROANING)

And what happens
if I defeat you?

If you defeat us,
we call you brother.

(VOCALIZING)

Huh? Let's go.

(ALL GRUNTING)

(BOYS GROANING)

Let's attack!
(YELLING)

Come on!
You asked for it!

(GRUNTS)

Ow, my shoulder!

Get away!
Your shoulder is dislocated.

Be careful!
Stay back!

I can help make it well.

(GROANS)

Be still. Relax.

(GROANING)

(SCREAMS) It hurts!

Whoa!
Whoa!

(GROANS)
You're okay.

Go on!
Master Ting?

Don't call me master.
Call me brother.

Please accept
our humble apologies.

And join us
as a brother.

Come on, guys,
he belongs with us.

Yes, a brother.

I am honored.

Don't chase us!
Don't hurt us!

No!

(WHIMPERING)

No...

RED BEAN'S MOTHER: This
should keep you sleeping.

(GASPS)

(GULPS)

(CHONG SNORING)

(WOMAN GIGGLING)

I feel really strange.

I accidentally swallowed
the tranquilizer and...

Mom!
Huh?

That's no tranquilizer,
that's an aphrodisiac!

Mmm. Ah!

No wonder I'm getting
so damn horny.

Mom, focus!

(GRUNTING)

It's no use,
I'm too horny.

Argh! Be serious.

I am serious.

It's been so long for me,
you have no idea!

(CHUCKLING) It hasn't
been that long, come on.

Oh, knock it off,
would you?

Let's go steal that necklace
before I explode.
Ah, okay!

Let's go!
Wait!

Don't forget the masks.

(CHONG SNORING)

Hand over
that necklace!

(SNORING)

Come on.

Wake up!
(GROANS)

(CONTINUES SNORING)
Quit pretending.

Unbelievable.
Oh, hell!

Let's get this thing
and get outta here. (GRUNTS)

Huh?

Who are you?

(ALL GRUNTING)

Get him!
(YELLS)

(SNORING)

RED BEAN'S MOTHER:
Keep him busy.
I'll get this one outta here.

(GRUNTS)

Gotcha!

Help me.

What a crazy dream.
(GASPS)

What are you doing here?

Someone just broke in
and tried to steal
your necklace.

(GASPS)

This is priceless!

You've got to catch them
before they try again.

They're not far.

(GASPS)
What do you want?

Two robbers broke into
the master's bedroom

and tried to steal
his necklace.

Oh, my God! Robbers?
Do you think
they're still here?

Actually, I do.

Then why don't you
look for them?
Why are you in here?

The robbers were wearing
black jumpsuits.

What does that have
to do with me?

What are you insinuating?

What are you wearing?

I sleep in the nude.
I'll prove it to you.

On the count of three.
One, two, three.

(GIGGLES)
All right.
But I warn you.

Any further trouble
and I'll have to kick you out.

You don't have
to be so modest.

I'll give you
one more chance.
One, two, three.

(CHUCKLING)

I mean it.

Any more trouble
and you're out.

I can't go.
Tomorrow is my wedding day.

Oh, my!
Where's Mom?

Gotta relax.

Phew.

Should I control
my urges? Nah!

(BOTH SCREAM)

(BOTH LAUGH)

I was so horny last night,
I forgot to get the necklace.

(CHUCKLES)

Now we'll get it
before my daughter
has to marry this fool.

Oh, good evening.

Why don't the two of you
go out and enjoy
the wedding festivities?

We have to stay
and watch the bride.

Oh, do you... Do you think
there's going to be trouble?

Actually, she is the trouble.

This is going to be
an interesting wedding.

Oh. Hmm.

(SIGHS) Hmm.

Someone's on the roof.

Ting, that's very observant.

But we can't be distracted
from guarding Red Bean.

Understand?
Yes.

(RED BEAN SCREAMS)

RED BEAN:
No! Let me go!
Don't hurt me!

Fell for it, huh?
Help!

Rape! Sorry.

Oh, no, Dad's in trouble.

(YELPS) Oh!

(ALL GASP)

(GROANS)
Red Bean!
What's going on?

Are you all right,
my darling?

What's wrong with you?

How dare you
defile my bride.

I can't face you.
Darling...

(CRYING)

Listen, I want you
to leave here immediately.

All right, I'll go.

(INDISTINCT JEERING)
Yeah, get outta here!

Some guard you are!

ALL: Whoa!

(MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
(RED BEAN SOBBING)

Let's go, son.

Why?

You should go out there
and knock his head off.

I don't know.
That took a lot
out of me.

Honey...
Put the master
to bed, please.

Come on.
I've had too much to drink.

Why didn't you explain
what happened?

They would not
have understood.

It's because
you like Red Bean.

You're wrong.

You've always taught me
to stay calm

under any circumstances.

But when she screamed,

you jumped up
like a jackrabbit.

Ting, I, uh...

It's okay, Father.
I think I understand.

(HORSE WHINNYING)

(GASPS)

They're heading
for the master's home.

What do you think?

I want to go back
and help my new brothers.

You're right.

(LOUD WHACK)
(GROANING)

(PEOPLE PANICKING)

What do you want? (SCREAMS)
(CROWD GASPS)

Oh, this violence
makes me queasy.

Do what needs to be done,

but get it over with quickly,
if you please.

We are searching
for a group of boys.

Five of them.

The rest of you
we have no interest in.

Therefore, everyone
over the age of 10
will be killed...

Now!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(GROANING)

Come back, you!

(WHIMPERING)

Let's pretend
to be dead.
Good idea.

(ALL GROAN)

Why don't you guys
just beat it?

'Cause we're dead,
just like you are.

Now lie still, all right?

Who says you're the only one
who can play dead?

Listen, you!
I was here first.

You guys are nothing but
a couple of lousy copycats.

(GROANS)

(GROANING)

Think you can fool me?

(GRUNTS)

Now you can stop pretending.

(SOBBING)

Those idiots, they can't
even pretend to be dead.

(GROANS)

I don't believe this.

You too, lady.

(YELLS)

I can't take it.

Why, you...
I can't take it.

(MAN YELLING)

(EXHALES)

Going somewhere?

Come back here!

(EXCLAIMING)

Master Kwun?

The government still has
a bounty on your head.

Is it you who plans
to collect it?

It's time
for you to die.

(GRUNTING)

Go get 'em!
(EXCLAIMS)

Boy, this thing's
really on here.

Oh!
(MEN GRUNTING)

Well, I guess that means
the party's over.

Time to grab what I can
and split.

(MEN GRUNTING)

(GASPS)

(SIGHS) That was close.

(GASPS)

Bring it on!

Come on, let's go!

(TAK CRYING)
Help, you guys! Help!

Come on, you guys!

Chiu, go, go!

(MAN GRUNTS)

Master Kwun!

Hello, old friend.
Ying Lee?

I know you're surprised.

The Yihang witch
made my body invincible.

But it seems your soul
is still corrupt.

He killed your former master
at Shaolin.

They're looking for
the Shaolin treasure.

It's tattooed on our backs.

He's captured
four of my brothers,

but I am the final piece.

(GRUNTING)

Take him.

Come on.

Go on.

(MEN GRUNTING)

Be quiet.

MEN: Come on.

Just a little longer.

(MAN SNORING)

(SNORING)

Thank you for
your hospitality.

We'll return
when things cool down.

Sleep tight, okay?

(GROANS)

(GASPS)

You undressed me!

I had to...

To get this dart...

Or your wound
would have become infected.

I feel so dirty.
Quit complaining.

How am I supposed to feel?

You've seen me naked.
We're not even dating.

You shouldn't be ashamed.

You're beautiful.

I know, you're
just saying that,

trying to make me
feel better.

Well, it's not gonna work,
I can tell you that much.

I know I'm sweaty,

I'm dirty, I need a bath.

I'm stuck in this
horrible place,

I've got this ugly bandage,
this disgusting wound.

I'm anything but beautiful!
Just shut up!

Learn how to take
a compliment.

Wha...

I've got to go,
save my son.

Why didn't you save him
before now?

Ting's very strong.

He can help
the other boys.

The other boys?

KWUN: We have the final
piece of the treasure map.

Ting can protect
the other boys

if the empire
discovers this.

Meanwhile, I've sent word
to the rebels

to meet us at
the Red Dragon pavilion.

And the map?

We'll have to rescue the boys
from the enemy's stronghold.

It will be dangerous.

You can do it.

I feel very safe with you.

RED BEAN'S MOTHER:
Red Bean!

How dare you
leave me behind!

I had no choice.
Don't you give me that!

Oh, Kwun, this is my mom.

(GASPS)
Oh, my God!

What happened to you?

I was hit by
a poisonous dart,

but Kwun saved me.

Oh, thank you,
Master Kwun.

He even cleaned me
and dressed the wound.

You mean you took
her clothes off?

Mom, nothing happened.
Calm down, okay?

(CHUCKLES)

My intuition...

Tells me there's
something funny

going on between you two.

(GIGGLES)

Step over here, Master Kwun.

You and I need to talk.

Get this, okay?

If you're gonna court
my daughter,

I want to make sure
you're wealthy.

Ma, he doesn't
have any money.

Oh, really.
No.

But I respect her.

Isn't that enough?

Not in this day and age.

Money makes
the world go 'round.

And if you don't believe that,

you're just
fooling yourself. Okay?

I know you are too good
a person to feel that way.

Mmm, I don't know
what you mean.

Some things
mean more than money.

Like what,
for instance?

For instance,

like saving the boys.

You expect me to...

No way.
I'm not doing it.

Wait. You distract them
while I find a way in.

Distract them? I'll do
more than distract them.

You should see me
in action.
Just distract them.

What, you don't think
I can do it, do you?

I was a kung fu master
in my day.

(SIGHS)

Don't move.

(EXCLAIMS)

I should warn you,
my men are behind you.

I don't believe any man
who wears makeup.

Take a look then.

You think I'm gonna fall
for that old trick, see?

I meant there.

I'm sorry.

I mean, my comment about
your makeup and stuff.

(MEN SHOUTING)

(YELLING) Help!

Someone cut me down
from here.

How can you boys
just sit there

and watch me
suffer like this?

You're the one
who got yourself captured.

What do you want us
to do about it?

Get out of the way.
Hey, look out!

Son, get them to safety.

Well, it's about time
you showed up.

(GRUNTING)

Huh? What happened
to all these guys?

My dad killed them.

Uh, that's awesome.
He's a great fighter.

Wish he'd adopt me.
What do you think?

MAN: I'll adopt you.

You're all
such pretty boys.

Run! Up the wall!

(PANTING)

Come on. You can do it

ALL: (SHOUTING) Come on

(LAUGHING)

(GRUNTS)

Gotcha...
Help me!

Are you with me, my brothers?

Come on!
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

(GRUNTING)

Are you all right?

Time to teach you a lesson,
sweet meat.

(GRUNTING)

Dragon kick, brothers.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Elephant drop, brothers.

(GROANS)

Move!

Kwun, let's go!

Oh, my God!
I can't believe

you boys left me behind.

This is a human being...
Where's Dad?

(GRUNTING)

Don't you know by now

you can never,
never beat me?

Somehow I will take revenge

for what you did at Shaolin.

I have to.

(LAUGHING)
You can do nothing.

(GASPS)

Perhaps we die together.

Dad!

Dad... We're partners.
Ting, I want you
out of here.

(TING GROANS)

I won't let you die here.
I said, go on!

(GROANS)

I won't!

(GRUNTS)

Hey, ugly!

Ting!

(GROANS)

Ting!

Ting! Ting!

Dad?

Son!

(COUGHING)

What happened?

(GROWLING)

You're sure
this is it?

Excuse me, sir.

We're looking for
the Red Dragon pavilion.

Don't bother with
this old man, honey.

He doesn't know anything
that can help us.

Come on.

I don't know anything?

I know everything
that goes on here,

and there's no
Red Dragon pavilion.

But I was here
just 10 years ago.

We've also heard of
a Shaolin master living here.

No such person.

He is rumored
to be in hiding.

There is no Shaolin master...

And no
Red Dragon pavilion.

There's only me
and one other guy.

He lives down
the street a ways.

Who is he? I don't know.

Very weird guy.
Keeps to himself.

(TOWER CLOCK BONGS)

BOY 1: What is this place?
BOY 2: It's kind of spooky.

RED BEAN: Can someone help us?

TING: How come
they're not moving?

Hey, wow! You were
just down the street.

(LAUGHS)
How'd you do that?

(SHRIEKS AND SCREAMS)

They're all made of wax.

Wow!

They're so lifelike.

Ha! Anatomically correct.

Are you done?
Oh, my God!

You scared me
almost half to death!

You deserved it.
Of all the nerve.

You're trespassing,
all of you.

Coming into my house,
uninvited.

Why, I ought
to round you all up

and torture you
to death. Huh?

Especially you.
(GASPS)

We heard a Shaolin master
lived here.

A master in this town?

Don't be ridiculous.

There's only
the old man and me,

the wax maker.

They're beautiful.
How did you make them all

seem so lifelike?

I use real human flesh
under the wax.

Would you care to be one?

Ahhh! No! Mommy!

We're sorry to disturb you.
We'll be leaving.

You're hurt.

I have some experience
in medicinal arts.

Let me cure you, please.
I'm sure I can...

Thank you anyway,
but we must be moving on now.

But to where?

This place is
a ghost town.

Death warmed over.

The Red Dragon pavilion.

The pavilion?
Oh, that place.

Uh-huh. Well, follow
the path west out of town.

It will eventually
lead you right there.

Thank you, sir.
No, not "sir."

Wax maker Biao.

(SHRIEKS)

Are you sure you
don't want to become

one of my statues, eh?

No, no, no.

(PANTING)

Hey, guys,
wait for me.

This can't be the pavilion.
There isn't anyone around.

I'll take
a look around.
No.

Stay here.

This is the place,
all right.

Years ago, there were
flowers everywhere.

But no more.

Kwun, how will the rebels
ever find us?

We sent a message
yesterday.

They'll get the word,
and the rebels will be here.

I'm sure of it.
Is he okay?

Keep an eye out,
you guys.
Yes, sir!

Maybe we should find
a place to hide

in case the empire
finds us first.

(BOTH PANTING)

An army of swordsmen
heading this way.

Take the boys and go.
No.

I won't leave you.
Don't argue!

(MEN EXCLAIMING)

(MAN YELLING)

The rebels.

Master Kwun,
it's good to see you.

Master Chan, I...
(GROANS)

What happened?
He fought
with Ying Lee.

I thought
he was dead.
I wish it were so.

But the Yihang witch
has cured him.

He is now invincible,

unstoppable,
like a demon.

We must be careful.

He is after the boys.

He is a truly
horrible monster.

He...

He rides a metal horse.

And he wants to kill us.

Do not fear.

My men and I can handle this.

My invincible sword here
can even cut through metal.

I'm so glad you're here.
This is great.

Let's let Master Chan
handle everything.

Mom!

We know a place where
you can all can rest

and clean to your wounds.

Oh, Master Chan?
Yes, what?

Now I know where
I recognize you from.

Twenty years ago,
I was the runner-up

of the Miss Kung Fu
World contest.

And you were
one of the judges.

Well, I know you had

kind of an eye for me
back then.

I don't know
if you remember.

(GIGGLES)

Do you?
Do you?

Ah, yes.

I think I remember
that contest.

Mom.

Come see me later

and we can get
reacquainted, okay?

(GIGGLES)

You as nervous
as I am?

You know it, brother.

This is killing me.
Quiet.

Hmm?

MEN: Huh?

(MEN GROANING)

Attack.

My sword!

(GRUNTING)

(BOYS CHATTERING)

(GASPS)

The boys are safe
with mother.

Don't worry.

Thank you.

All I ever used to do
was steal and cheat.

But since I met you,

well, I think I'll turn over
a new leaf.

No more stealing.

What are your plans?

Don't know.

Maybe you've got some ideas.

All right, boys, eat up.

If we're going to fight
the evil empire,

you need
your potassium.

Tell us a story,
Granny.

Oh, all right.

You don't have
to twist my arm.

Well, when I was young,

I was an expert
dart catcher...

The best in the land.

One day an evil monk...

Bam!

Threw 300 darts at me.

But with
my lightning hands,

I snatched 298
out of midair.

Then, I caught one
right between my teeth.

But, Granny,

what happened
to the last dart?

That last one?

I caught it
between my toes.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Hey, you guys,

that's enough of
that laughing.

I could teach
all of you boys

a thing or two
about kung fu.

And you better
believe it!

Back in my day,
I was known as a master.

Why I once had
a fight with 22 guys...

Ahhh... Ghost!

(ALL YELLING)

All right boys,
stay behind me.

Oh, it's Master Chan.

Look, boys, he's come
to join us for dinner.

Oh, what fun!

(BOYS GROAN)

Oh, Master Chan!

Friend of yours?

Oh, please, sir.

Oh, please don't hurt us.

These boys are so sweet
and innocent.

And I'm just an old woman.
Have mercy.

(EXCLAIMING)

You think you're so bad.

(MEN GRUNT)

You take care of them.

I'll get the boys
out of here. Let's go!

(GRUNTING)

Keep going!

(MEN YELLING)

Let's bring it on,

you sons of bitches!

(EXCLAIMING)

(MEN GROANING)

BOYS: All right, Granny!

(ALL CHEERING)

Wow, Granny,
you really are

the greatest martial
artist ever!

You're so cute.

(LAUGHING)

Hi.
(LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY)

Congratulations.
I underestimated you.

Thank you.

Now, be so kind as
to let the boys and I go.

(GIGGLES)
No.

But if you defeat me
with your darts,

then you can go.

(LAUGHS) Silly.
I haven't got any darts left.

(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

What's wrong?

You don't like the taste
of my lugies, huh?

(GROANS)

(PANTING)

(ALL CHEERING)

Granny, Granny!
Ah, come here.

That was awesome.
Can you teach it to me?

You shouldn't have
underestimated me.

BOYS: That was great!

Boy 1: Really,
that was great!

BOY 2: Grandma...

BOY 3: How'd you do that?
Can you teach me?

Mom?

Mom, are you okay?

Oh, of course I'm okay.

Don't be ridiculous.

Go on, boys, tell her
how great I was.

She was awesome.

Now, you take
the boys on ahead.

I'm gonna make sure
this bastard is done for.

You're coming, too?
Mmm-hmm,
right behind you.

Come on, boys,
let's go.

BOY 1: Sister Red Bean?
Your mother is quite brave.

BOY 2: She's second only
to Master Kwun.

(GROANS)

Ma!

Ma, what's wrong?

I guess I'm not as good
as I thought I was.

Be strong.
Don't die, Granny. Please.

I couldn't catch
every dart.

(ALL GASP)

Granny!

We've got to get you
some help!

(GASPING)

I hope I haven't
disappointed you boys.

BOY 1:
No, you're the greatest.

BOY 2: Stay with us, Granny.

Don't cry.

What do you think of...

This old gal, huh?

Mom, you're just as beautiful
and strong as ever.

You wouldn't lie to me.

Never.

(ALL SOBBING)

Enough crying.
I'm not going to die yet.

Come on,
help me up.

Come on, come on.

(GROANING)

BOYS: Master Biao, help us!

(BOYS YELLING)

Mom, Mom!

Master Biao,
we need your help.

It's so cold.
Don't worry, I'll get
you warmed up. okay.

BOYS: (YELLING) Master Biao!

Here. Feel warmer?

Mom, talk to me.

It's funny
how things work out.

I used to pretend to be dead,

and now...
You're not gonna die.

Mother, I won't let you.

(CHUCKLING)

My daughter...

I... I...

I don't want you
to worry about anything.

When I...

When I get
to the afterlife...

The Gods won't know
what...

What hit them. Okay.

(SOBBING)

Now you go. I...

And marry Master Kwun,

and raise family.

Ma? Mom...

Can someone please
hurry up and help us?

(GROANS) Red bean,

where are you?
It's okay, I'm right here.

It's so dark.

Can't see.

Please make sure
the boys are all safe.

Oh... (SOBBING)

They'll be fine mother.

You're a strong daughter.

So very strong.

(GROANING)

I just thought of something.

That guy we were going to rob.

All the trouble
we went through.

And we didn't even get that...

Stupid, lousy necklace.

(SOBBING)

(SOBBING)

(BOYS CRYING)

(BOYS YELLING)

(BOY YELLING)

BOY 1: Are you hurt?
BOY 2: Are you okay?

Come on!

Come on, let's go.

You must.

Mother, I love you.

BOY 1: Come on, hurry up!

BOY 2: Let's get out of here!

BOY 1: Go!
Hurry, hurry, hurry!

(ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY)

BOY: Come on.

(RAT SCREECHING)

(GASPS)

(GRUNTING)

All right, Ting,
let's hit him up high

and down low. Go!

(GRUNTING)

(GROWLING)

Go!

(GROWLING)

Ting, get ready.

Got it.

(GROWLING)

(GRUNTING)

(GROANING)

TING: Ahhh.

Ting!

Dad!

(MAN EXCLAIMS)

Who are you?

In this town,
I'm known only

as wax maker Biao.

However, I am secretly
a Shaolin master.

Let's go, Ting.

Going somewhere?

I have been in hiding here
for many years.

But when word
of your evil reached me,

I vowed to don
my robes again

to avenge my brothers.

And I will get
my revenge for Shaolin!

You will die
just like the Shaolin monks.

Oh, you think so?
You are beyond arrogant,

as well as evil.
Prepare to die.

(GROANING)

Now taste vengeance
from my dragon fists.

(EXCLAIMING)

Everybody okay?

Uh-huh.

(MAN GROWLS)

(YELLING)
Brother!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

Hang on, boys!
Don't give up.

I can't! I'm slipping.

(YELLING)

Hurry! Pull us up!

(YELLING)

Be strong, my brothers.

Hold on tight.

(BOYS BITING)

(ALL SCREAM)

Ting, I'm slipping!
I'm slipping!

(YELLING)

My brother!

(PANTING)
We made it.

(FARTS)

Huh... Uh, get off of me...

Please, oh God.

(GRUNTS)

You're gonna die.

I told you
you'd never beat me.

(GASPS)

Goodbye old friend.

Stop it!
Run!

Honey, honey, wake up!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(SCREAMING)

(BOTH GROAN)

Get up, honey!

Please!
Ting!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Papa!

Ting!

(GROWLING)

(GRUNTING)

(YELLING)

Come on, pull!

(ALL STRAINING)

We got you!

(TOWER CLOCK BONGING)

KWUN: You young men showed
strength and bravery.

And I commend you all.

Li,

Su,

Fong,

Chiu...

And Tak.

The masters of Shaolin

would certainly be
proud to know...

That they have passed
their legacy

on to ones such as you.

It is my deepest honor

to call you brothers.

Thanks again
for your help.

Come on, son.

Sweetie,
is your father coming?

I don't know
where he could be.

Say, why don't you
come with me?

I'll teach you some
more martial arts.

No, thank you.

Tak, you're welcome
to join us.

My dad will be here,
I'm sure.

Tak! Tak!

My son!

Father!

(BOTH LAUGH)

Are you Tak's father?
Yeah, yeah.

He's a fine warrior.

(LAUGHS) That's very funny.

But, thank you for saving him.

My son?

He is quite a man.

I don't know about
that friend of yours...

Come on.

But, it's true, Father.
I am a Shaolin master.

(GROANS)
Tak, you okay?

(ALL LAUGHING)

Good to see you smile.

Let's go, Mom.

(HORSES NEIGHING)