All language subtitles for Schitts.Creek.S06E13

(drum roll, bird chirps)

- Oh, bev I'm sorry
I missed you,

But I'm so happy
I got your voicemail!

Wondering when you might
be getatable

For a little red biddy,
little back chat? Hm?

Oh, and we're moving
to new york.

I just thought it was time.
Ciao.

- Don't tell me you're having
lunch with bev

After all this.
- Imagine?

No, I amputated those people
years ago.

But bev and her big bazoo
will get the word out

Quicker than any group
memorandum.

- Well, that's a relief.

Kids! Breakfast is served.

- I already ate. Oh.

- I don't see any breakfast.
- Mimosas!

We're celebrating!

Ruth sent over a bottle
of champagne.

- So there's no food then?

- Would you look at this
family?

Alexis, pursuing a career in pr.

- Hm.
David, expanding his business.

- Hm.

- Moira, I have no doubt
broadway will be calling,

Or maybe a pledge drive on pbs.

- (chuckles) oh, you are sweet.

- I say we do something
as a family tonight.

Maybe cook a little something?

- No. I don't think
that's a good idea.

- Absolutely not.
- I mean, look around, family.

This won't be our home
for too much longer.

(silence)

So let's celebrate.

Picture.
- Hm.

- Let's raise those glasses.

David? You don't have to look
quite so morose.

You're with your family.

- (small chuckle)
- (camera clicks)

Ah, now that's a framer.
(laughs)

(phone makes a sound)
- you just deleted it.

- What's that?
- (disappointed groans)

♪♪♪

(dog barks in the distance)

- (sighs) is it just me, john,
or does the air not have

A particularly lovely
redolence today.

- Oh.

- Do I detect a scintilla
of lavender?

- Isn't it funny how the air
suddenly smells sweeter

Now that you know
we're leaving.

Still doesn't feel real.

(loud honk)

(door shuts)

- Roland, you bought a new
truck?

- Well, johnny, if you wanna be
an executive,

You gotta drive
like an executive.

- It might be a bit premature
spending all this money.

- Well, what's the point of
having a regular paycheque

If you can't have a little fun
with it, right?

- I went to the spa.
Had a pedicure and a blow-out,

At the same time. (laughs)

I'm surprised I didn't see
you there, moira,

Celebrating your big
"sunrise bay" news.

- And what would that
communiqué entail?

- The reboot!

Don't tell me
I'm the first person

To congratulate you!

- So it's a go. Um no, uh,

Unfortunately, I won't be
participating in that

Little vanity project.

Best to keep ones gaze
on the horizon,

Not the posterior view.

- Sure.
- Oh, honey,

I think we better get going.

I gotta get the truck back
to the dealership.

I told the salesman I was just
taking it around the block.

But then I thought,
maybe some cinnamon buns

Might just buy us a sun roof.

(laughing)
- bye.

- Here, honey,
you hold the buns.

- I thought they might have
at least called

To say they were moving on.

- (sighs)

Big things are coming your way,
sweetheart.

Don't you worry.
- Okay.

I don't. Worry is but
undernourished enthusiasm.

(door opens, shuts)

- Hello.

- Something's different.

Your... Hair.

- Is in a ponytail
because I didn't wash it.

- Oh. Okay. It just sort
of looks like

Since you got the deal
you've decided to dress

More professionally.

- Can I help you with something
in particular, or...

- Uh, actually, yes.

I need your advice.
- Hm.

- What says, "patrick, you're
gonna love new york" more:

A gift card to joe's pizza
or tickets to "wicked"?

- You're taking patrick
on a trip to new york?

- Uh, no. We're moving there
with all of you!

What? Do you think we're gonna
stay here all by ourselves?

- I'm not moving to new york,
david.

- What?

- We decided that roland and I
would stay here.

And I'm gonna travel around
and set up all the new motels.

I mean, I realized I didn't
need to live in a big city.

I guess I just needed
to know that I could.

- Mhmm.

- So I take it you didn't
like the house?

- What house?
- What?

- What house?

- Patrick may have been looking
at a house for the two of you.

He didn't say anything
about that?

- Uh, no.
Like-like to buy?

- He said that you guys had
driven by it a bunch of times.

- That house is for sale?

- No. I don't know. I--

Can we stop talking about this?

I feel like I'm doing
something wrong.

So you're finally getting out.

- Yeah. Um...

I should probably go
talk to my husband.

- Okay.

(door opens, shuts)

(bell jingles over door)

(low hum of chatter,
radio plays)

- Oh, alexis, garbage day is
the same for the whole street.

You didn't need to bring your
garbage all the way here.

- Um, I brought my garbage
here for a reason.

I thought you might like
to wear some of it.

- What?

- As you know, david and I
are sharing an apartment

In new york, so I'm like
downsizing a little bit.

- I can't take all of this,
alexis.

Maybe we can do another swap?

Or, or, why don't I just go
through it

And pay for the ones
I wanna keep?

- No, twy, I can't take your
money.

I've seen how people tip here.

- Alexis, between us,

I don't do this job
for the money.

- Okay, well, if you don't do
this for money

I'm scared to know what you do
do for money.

- Okay, now that you're leaving,

Can you keep a secret?

- Depends on how dark
it's gonna get, but yes.

- I won some money in the
lottery a few years ago.

- Oh my god, twy! Go you!

Why did you not tell me
this before?

- Well, because you guys
had just gotten here

And, and you had just lost
all your money.

Well, what was I gonna say?

I just won $92 million?

- You won $92 million?

- Oh, no. Sorry.
- Okay.

Okay, because I literally
was about to pass out.

- Yeah. No, no. I split the
$92 million with another guy.

- So you won like...

(struggling with the math)
s-so much money.

- Shh. I just--

I just don't want anyone know.

It changes things.

- Twy, what are you doing here?

You could be anywhere,
doing anything.

- I have everything I need
right here.

And if I've learned anything

From how my mom spent
the money I gave her,

It's that money can buy
a lot of snowmobiles,

But it can't buy happiness.

So it's about how you live
your life.

You know,
doing what makes you smile.

And being here, getting
to hear your stories

Over the past few years,

Even the scary ones,

That makes me smile.

- Twy,

You might be the best person
I know,

But as someone who has had
a lot of money

And then not had it and
now is like still pretty poor,

But somewhat okay?

Every now and again,

Spending like a little bit
of money

On something really special,

It might not buy you happiness,

But it can definitely
help make you smile.

- (small laugh)

This cute dress makes me smile.

- Hm.
- (twyla laughs)

- Not quite sure how
that one got in there.

But anything else in there
is yours if you want it.

(bag rustles)

(gasps) aw!

- There you go.

- John, considering I'll
have some time to fritter

Once we're there,
do you think you might

Want to put me to work?
- Well, I didn't know

That would be of interest
to you, moira.

But I'll see if I can get you
something.

Remember when you were
the rose video spokesperson

That one year?
- How could I not?

Oh, that photo of me sunbathing
atop a giant vhs tape,

Was a staple of times square
for a whole season.

- (chuckles)
- what do you have there?

- Well, I don't know,
it's for you.

- Oh.

Oh, it's from tippy.

(reads) "dear moira.
You win.

Welcome back to the bay."

John, it's a... Tennis bracelet.

- What tennis bracelet?
- My tennis bracelet.

(phone rings)

It's tippy.

(beeps phone on)
tippy.

Yes, I just received it.

Please, tell me this is not
some barbarous jape.

Yes. Yes.

My answer is a yes!

A clangorous, vociferous yes.

Thank you.
Thank you.

- What's all that about?

- "sunrise bay."

Wow. When forced to choose
between clifton and myself,

They decided mine
was the bigger name.

- What?!
- Yeah.

- So it's happening?

(laughing)
- yes. Oh, john.

Thirteen episode order.

They've already sent through
two scripts.

And-and I have to start
in two weeks!

- (laughing)

- Okay. What is everybody
screaming about?

- "sunrise bay".
It's happening.

They've accepted my demands.

- All of them?

Even the bracelet?
- Even the bracelet.

- And you're giving it to me?

- No, there are 30 diamonds
on that thing.

- Our offices will be
in new york.

Sounds like we're in
for a tricky commute.

- We'll just work it out, john.

(laughing)

- (happy squeal)
- (laughing)

♪♪♪

(door opens, shuts)

- Hi.
- Hey.

- What are you doin'?

- (sighs) I'm just trying
to write my vows.

- Oh.

Well, if you need some
flattering things to say

About me, I'd me more than
happy to help.

- I'm good. Thanks.
- Hm.

Why didn't you tell me
about the house?

- I um,

I was gonna wait until after
the wedding to tell you.

- Hm.

- 'cause I know how flustered
you can get

When there's more than one
thing on your plate.

- Hm. Unless it's food.

- (small laugh)

Yeah, and then new york
happened and...

I don't know, it just seemed
kinda pointless.

- Mhmm.

When did that house
even go up for sale?

- Well, technically,
it didn't,

But after the fourth time
that we drove by it,

And you commented that it
reminded you

Of kate winslet's cottage
from "the holiday".

I just knocked on the door
and asked them to call me

If they ever decided to sell.

Turns out their daughters
are off to college,

And they're moving to florida.

- So that's why you were
so reluctant to move.

- It's just hard to picture
living someplace

You've never even visited.

And I always thought you
didn't like new york.

- Um, no, uh, I love new york.

It was just a weird time
in my life.

But I don't want you
moving somewhere

That you're not excited about.

- I'm excited to be with you.
- (exhales)

- And there are some pros
to being there.

I mean, it would open
the business up

To a much larger market.

I'd finally get to see a game
at yankee stadium.

- Yeah, and by then you'll
have met some people

That would go
and do that with you.

- It's gonna be a tough
goodbye.

- Hm.

- This is where we started
our life together.

(reluctant agreeing sigh)

- Yeah.

(low hum of chatter)

(door shuts)

- (laughs) why have I not been
told about

The double-decker sightseeing
tour.

All: (laughing)

- Well, we wanted to show
our support for your move

To the big apple!

- Yeah, we heard that
"sunrise bay"

Was moving on without you,
but who needs them?

- Well, you know--
- I say, fuck 'em.

- Veronica!
- No, she's right, moira,

They'd be lucky to have you
on their two-bit show.

- Yeah, and reboots are never
as good as the original.

- Well, aren't you a wolf pack
by which any gal

Would be so lucky
to be protected.

- (flattered chuckles)

- But it's time for this pup
to disperse to new territory.

"sunrise bay" called with
an irresistible offer.

- That's great, mrs. Rose.

I mean, who doesn't love
a reboot.

- (weak laughs)
- so what does this mean?

- Alas, as much as it pains
to say,

This will mark my last
rehearsal with you all.

(emotional)
- oh my goodness.

- Oh, thanks for the heads up.

- Camera waits for no one.
- Wow. Moira...

I'm not as prepared for this
as I thought I would be.

(emotional sniffling)

- Veronica.
- Hm.

- I suppose you have something
in your eye?

- No. I just-I just don't like
surprises.

We should-we should get
started.

Woman: Yeah.

Ronnie: (calming exhales)

- May-may I just proclaim
that I have rarely -

Never - I've never felt more
buttress

Than I have in your company,
dear gals.

Not to flog a metaphor but...

Wolf pups are born blind
and deaf,

And in your care I have learned
to see and hear

The beauty in the bucolic.

- (laughing)
- what's this? What?

Oh no. No.
Let's not turn this

Into a hallmark movie
of the week.

I've done enough of those
for a lifetime. Okay?

Maybe just a quick one.

- Yeah.
- (sad laughter)

♪♪♪

(knock on door)
- come in.

(door opens, shuts)

Hey twy! Is everything okay?

Did I forget to pay
for brunch again?

- Oh. No. You remembered.
Today.

- Okay.
- Anyway... Um...

I wanted to come
and tell you that

What you said to me this
morning really resonated.

- Twy. That means so much.
Um,

Um... What part of what I said,
specifically?

- Oh. That I shouldn't be
afraid to spend money

On things that are special
to me.

- Mhmm.
- So...

I bought the café.
- What?!

- I called the owners and told
them to name their price.

- Okay, I was talking more
like a spa day

Or like a cute little anklet
or something.

- It's something that will
make me smile.

Twyla's café tropical.

It's got a nice ring to it,
right?

- Yeah.
Or like "twyla's café".

- Yeah, I don't think so.

- Twy, I'm so happy for you.
- Oh.

- You deserve it.

- Thank you, alexis.

And you deserve this.

(envelope rustles)

- Oh my god. Twy.

- It's for all your dresses.
Most of them fit.

And whatever doesn't
I'll just give to my mom.

- Okay. That's so sweet,

But those dresses would never
sell for this much,

Like not even in retail.

- Consider it a goodbye present.

A little something to help
you start your new life.

- (exhales)

- Maybe even enough to get you
your own place.

You're gonna do great things,
alexis.

- No, I know.

But I can't accept this.

Even though I know
I'm gonna regret it,

In like a minute.

I think that if I'm gonna
do this on my own,

I need to do this on my own.

- I respect that.

(envelope rustles)
- oh.

- (awkward laugh)

- Hey, I don't mean to tell you
how to spend your money,

But maybe you could use some
of it to come visit me?

- I'd like that.

- Boop.

Hey twy,

Like, cute dress.

- Thanks.

My friend gave it to me.

(door opens, shuts)

- (sharp exhale)

♪♪♪

- David...
- Hm?

- This might seem like a really
stupid question, but um...

Why are we here?

- Because I felt like
I owed it to patrick

To at least see the place
where he wanted us

To spend the rest of our lives.

- And?

- And it's way too small
for the rest of our lives,

But it's cute.

- Okay, so we just drove here
to look at a place

That you don't plan
on living in?

(birds chirp)

- Correct.

- (sighs)

How many years have I known you,

And I still can't figure out
what goes on inside your head.

- Join the club.
(gets emotional)

- That was a joke,
in case it didn't land.

- Hmm.

No, I was just thinking about

How patrick must have driven
out here,

And knocked on that door

And asked those people
to call him

If they ever planned on selling

Just because I...

I said it was nice.

Who does that?

- Good people.

Good people do things
like that.

(sighs)

Hence the reason why
we don't understand it.

- Mhmm.

- Can I ask you a question?

- Yes.

- What is it about new york?

- I have big dreams.

- And you can't have those
dreams here?

- And some friends left there.

- The "friends" who you invited
to the wedding?

- To name a few, yes.

- David, they're not coming.

Apparently there was an
electronic music festival

In norway that took priority.

Why do you wanna go back
to a place

That's done nothing
but hurt your feelings?

- Because I want those people
to know that I'm not a joke.

And that I've won.

- David, look at this place.

You've won.

And on a personal note,

I don't want you
to leave me here, okay?

(emotional exhales, sniffling)

- Did you put on deodorant
today?

- Excuse me?

- I know, it might be the farm.

- It's the farm.
- Okay.

- I smelled something.

- It's not me!
- All right!

- We're leaving!
- Relax.

♪♪♪

(crickets chirp,
dog barks in the distance)

- Kids, food's here.

- (singsong) mmmm.

- Wait. One pizza?
What is this, les mis?

- Yes, it's a dignified
family symposium, david.

Not some all-one can-
consume smorgasbord.

- Don't be an animal, son.
- David! Ugh.

- Ugh!
- Ugh.

- Okay. So what are the plans
for tonight?

Because I might be meeting twy
for a drink.

- Well, I thought we'd
all stay in tonight,

And enjoy the pizza
and play charades?

- Charades.

I'm going to have to gracefully
bow out.

I don't think you can
afford my quote anymore.

Both: (laughing)

- Just saying it out loud
makes it so real.

- Well, I suppose I should
let you both know

That there's been a slight
change of plans.

As you've heard, your mother
is going back to work.

- (claps)

- And we'll be heading
to california.

Now, I've I made some calls

And I'll be setting up shop
out west for the time being.

- Ooh, so it's just david
and me

Going to new york then?

- Um...

I have something to say.

- The wedding's off.
- No. The wedding is not--

Why would the wedding be off?

Patrick found us a house.

- Okay, I don't know how
we'd be able to afford a house.

- The house is here.

I think we're going to stay.

- What?
Moira: David,

Are sure you've given
this sentencing

Adequate deliberation?

- I just don't think
I'm finished with this place.

My business is here.

My...

My husband is here.

And I'm just not ready
to mess that up...

Just yet.

I'm sorry, I said I would
share a place with you.

- So does this mean you'll be
coming with us, alexis?

- Um, no.

I think it means that I'm gonna
be flying solo to new york.

I've done it before,
and I can do it again.

- You take that ember
of independence

And you keep it burning.

Because you, my darling,
are destined to be on fire!

- Well, I could not be more
proud of my family

Than I am right now.

And as much as I'll miss this -
being together -

At least I can go to sleep
knowing

We're all gonna be okay.

(emotional sniffling)

- So when are you leaving?

- September 3rd.

- That's my wedding day.

- And we're tied to the third?

- Oh moira...
- Am I tied to the third?

- Of course you're getting
married on the third, david.

Moira, we can leave first
thing the next morning.

- Yes. We will, john.

It's just worth noting that
the lie-flat seats were only

On the evening flight.
- Moira.

- It's okay.
- Unbelievable.

(door slams)
- okay.

(nervous exhale)

- David, what is going on?

- You're wearing a blindfold.

I'm not just gonna tell you
what's going on.

- (clears throat)
- okay. You can take it off now.

(birds chirp)
(dog barks in the distance)

- Hmm.

Hey, you do know that I've
already seen this house, right?

- I do.

- So then why are we here?

- Because I put an offer in.

And they accepted.

- What?
What about new york?

I thought that's where
you wanted to be?

- I thought so, too.

But it's not where
you wanna be.

And I don't wanna be anywhere
you don't wanna be.

- David, I promise I will make
you so happy here.

- You fuckin' better.

- Wait. So when you say
you put an offer in...

- Yes.
- What exactly did you do?

- Um, I don't really know.

You might wanna call them.
Call the people.

- Yeah, no. I'm definitely
gonna look at that offer.

- Mhmm.

- You know, at this point
who even needs a wedding,

Am I right?
- Oh, I do.

I need a wedding. Big time.