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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,494 --> 00:00:15,537 I was just reading your naughty texts from this morning, 2 00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:17,385 and I believe this is the moment 3 00:00:17,410 --> 00:00:21,214 you referred to as "go time." 4 00:00:21,239 --> 00:00:23,308 And I bought us some fake candles 5 00:00:23,333 --> 00:00:26,113 so that we don't start another sex fire. 6 00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:27,853 Ooh. 7 00:00:27,897 --> 00:00:29,681 What is that, a blindfold? 8 00:00:29,725 --> 00:00:33,337 Ooh, I like that you're adding some new plays to the game. 9 00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:34,799 No, it's just a washcloth. 10 00:00:34,824 --> 00:00:37,392 I have a headache. I'm sorry, honey. 11 00:00:37,417 --> 00:00:39,691 I just... I've been getting a lot of them lately. 12 00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:41,084 Oh. 13 00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:42,315 Is there anything I can do? 14 00:00:42,340 --> 00:00:43,760 Make you some coffee or...? 15 00:00:43,785 --> 00:00:46,018 No, thanks. I had two cups after dinner. 16 00:00:46,043 --> 00:00:47,674 I-I'll call the doctor tomorrow. 17 00:00:47,699 --> 00:00:49,462 That's smart. Yeah, get it checked out. 18 00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:55,359 This is nice. 19 00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:58,406 We've never had a work meeting by candlelight before. 20 00:00:59,407 --> 00:01:00,712 Well, I'm using everything 21 00:01:00,756 --> 00:01:02,758 I didn't get a chance to use last night. 22 00:01:03,889 --> 00:01:07,415 So, if you want whipped cream in your coffee, let me know. 23 00:01:09,291 --> 00:01:11,593 I like it. I feel like I'm at a séance. 24 00:01:13,682 --> 00:01:16,554 Grandpa, I'm sorry I took your cigarettes. 25 00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:20,538 Well, look, I appreciate you guys working here today. 26 00:01:20,563 --> 00:01:21,999 Since Andi's at the doctor, 27 00:01:22,024 --> 00:01:23,649 I wanted to be home when she gets back. 28 00:01:23,674 --> 00:01:24,891 The doctor? Is she okay? 29 00:01:24,916 --> 00:01:26,758 Yeah, yeah. She's just feeling a little tired 30 00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:28,523 and headachy. 31 00:01:28,566 --> 00:01:30,916 Hmm. Sounds like she got a case of the wifes. 32 00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:33,789 Hi, guys. 33 00:01:33,832 --> 00:01:35,573 Hey. So, what did the doctor say? 34 00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:36,955 It's nothing serious. 35 00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:39,186 But the doctor did recommend one thing 36 00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:41,666 - that I'm thinking we should discuss in private. - Oh. 37 00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,538 - We should go. - Good idea. 38 00:01:43,581 --> 00:01:45,235 Come on, Lowell. 39 00:01:45,279 --> 00:01:47,281 Come on, Grandpa. 40 00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:51,894 So, uh, wh-what's going on? 41 00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:54,244 Well, the doctor says that my problem is hormonal. 42 00:01:54,511 --> 00:01:55,990 Oh, that's not so bad. 43 00:01:56,015 --> 00:01:58,161 So, what do you do for that, a pill or something? 44 00:01:58,205 --> 00:02:00,207 Kind of. In-in the sense 45 00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:02,209 that I have to stop taking a pill. 46 00:02:02,478 --> 00:02:04,001 The pill. 47 00:02:04,898 --> 00:02:06,751 What? 48 00:02:07,664 --> 00:02:08,945 I know. 49 00:02:08,970 --> 00:02:11,059 But that's the best pill. 50 00:02:12,351 --> 00:02:14,482 I would give up all the other pills for that pill. 51 00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:16,140 Yeah. 52 00:02:16,165 --> 00:02:18,403 I mean, that pill lets us have fun without consequences. 53 00:02:19,279 --> 00:02:20,638 We can't afford to put another consequence 54 00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:22,707 through college. 55 00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:24,622 It's like some mysterious force 56 00:02:24,666 --> 00:02:26,537 is trying to stop us from having sex. 57 00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:27,930 I... 58 00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:52,389 So, um, I've been off the pill for a few days, 59 00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:54,261 and I feel pretty good. 60 00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:55,349 Good. 61 00:02:56,924 --> 00:02:58,743 I said I feel good. 62 00:02:59,674 --> 00:03:01,833 Take your pants off. 63 00:03:02,424 --> 00:03:05,166 My favorite four words in the English language. 64 00:03:09,014 --> 00:03:10,842 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 65 00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:12,844 We can't just do this. 66 00:03:12,888 --> 00:03:14,585 There's no goalie in the net. 67 00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:18,850 Okay, so go to the drugstore and buy a box of goalies. 68 00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:21,331 I... that'll take too long, you know? 69 00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:23,333 My uniform's on. They sang the national anthem. 70 00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:25,944 It's-it's time to take the ice. 71 00:03:27,218 --> 00:03:28,730 Well, what do we do? 72 00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:31,907 There's got to be one of those things around here somewhere. 73 00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:33,865 When was the last time I slept with someone 74 00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:35,606 I didn't completely trust? 75 00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:38,783 Oh! I got it. 76 00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:40,815 I need my box of stuff from my single days. 77 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,624 All right, I'll be right back. Don't move. 78 00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:56,061 Ow! 79 00:04:26,978 --> 00:04:28,529 Hey, there. 80 00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:32,489 Mm.That was fun. 81 00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,491 Yeah. It's always fun. 82 00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:36,014 That's the thing about it. 83 00:04:39,510 --> 00:04:40,976 It was different, though. 84 00:04:41,175 --> 00:04:43,134 It's great to go for a spin, 85 00:04:43,159 --> 00:04:45,502 but it's hard to wear a helmet 86 00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:48,375 when I've already felt the wind in my face. 87 00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:50,855 Well, if you don't like wearing one of those, 88 00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:52,640 there's other forms of birth control. 89 00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:54,381 Look, the best birth control 90 00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:56,818 is if I grow a mustache again. 91 00:04:57,483 --> 00:04:59,821 It smelled like pretzels. 92 00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:02,519 Okay, well, let's narrow down our options, right? 93 00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:03,999 We know it has to be hormone-free, 94 00:05:04,042 --> 00:05:05,696 so all that stuff is no good. 95 00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:06,871 Yeah. And it'd be great 96 00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:08,699 if using it didn't require a time-out 97 00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:10,181 just when things are getting hot and heavy. 98 00:05:10,205 --> 00:05:14,079 Agreed. That is a bad time for a commercial break. 99 00:05:14,318 --> 00:05:16,233 Okay, but... 100 00:05:16,258 --> 00:05:17,665 we can work around that 101 00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:20,058 if one of us is prepared in advance. 102 00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:22,800 Yeah. Yeah, but-but I don't want to schedule it. 103 00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:24,585 Being able to do it whenever I want 104 00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:26,021 is the whole reason I got married. 105 00:05:27,539 --> 00:05:29,323 Besides all the love. 106 00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:32,157 But that got me in the door. 107 00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:34,116 Okay, but, you know, u-until we figure it out, 108 00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:35,857 we need to keep our hands to ourselves. 109 00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:38,468 Yeah, well, sure. No big deal. 110 00:05:38,493 --> 00:05:40,663 We've been married 20 years. How hard can it be? 111 00:05:40,781 --> 00:05:42,084 _ 112 00:05:42,118 --> 00:05:44,866 This has been the hardest week of my life. 113 00:05:47,082 --> 00:05:50,433 You're over here pouring coffee like a minx. 114 00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:54,133 Teasing me. 115 00:05:55,345 --> 00:05:57,007 Just knowing we can't do it 116 00:05:57,032 --> 00:05:58,773 makes me want to do it even more. 117 00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:03,493 If I had known our last time was gonna be our last time, 118 00:06:03,985 --> 00:06:05,843 I would've put on a better show. 119 00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:07,497 Okay. 120 00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:09,407 Let's figure out this budget. 121 00:06:09,432 --> 00:06:12,113 Oh, numbers are boring. That should help.Yeah. 122 00:06:13,982 --> 00:06:16,767 Okay. We are way over budget 123 00:06:16,811 --> 00:06:18,421 on the new house we're flipping. 124 00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:20,858 We need to bring down the cost of the fixtures. 125 00:06:21,287 --> 00:06:22,207 Fixtures? 126 00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:24,131 Well, that's, uh... 127 00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:26,081 should be... 128 00:06:26,608 --> 00:06:29,456 Do you have to hold your pencil like that, all sexy? 129 00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:33,218 That's... that's just the way I write. 130 00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:34,568 - Mm. - You know. 131 00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:37,962 Fast, and then not so fast. 132 00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,579 Can feel your eyes burning a hole through my shirt. 133 00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:46,686 I like it. 134 00:06:46,711 --> 00:06:48,538 Okay, that's it. 135 00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:50,741 Go back to fooling around already. 136 00:06:50,766 --> 00:06:52,235 And by the way, I shouldn't even know 137 00:06:52,259 --> 00:06:53,486 you haven't been fooling around, 138 00:06:53,510 --> 00:06:55,634 but the two of you won't shut up about it. 139 00:06:56,936 --> 00:06:59,983 I'd file a complaint with HR, but that's me. 140 00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:04,467 Look, we have a real problem here. 141 00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:05,760 Andi had to go off the pill, 142 00:07:05,785 --> 00:07:07,557 and none of the other options are good. 143 00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:08,926 Believe me, if there was a solution, 144 00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:10,081 we would have found it. 145 00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:11,246 Well, I have a solution. 146 00:07:11,271 --> 00:07:13,082 Great. We're open to anything. 147 00:07:13,107 --> 00:07:14,782 - Get a vasectomy. - What?! 148 00:07:16,465 --> 00:07:17,942 I never even thought of that. 149 00:07:17,967 --> 00:07:20,222 Who would think of it? 150 00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:24,095 Sounds awfully permanent, Lowell. 151 00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:25,582 That's what's great about it. 152 00:07:25,607 --> 00:07:28,074 One afternoon, and you never have to worry about it again. 153 00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:29,449 What do you think? 154 00:07:35,846 --> 00:07:38,801 Well, I, uh... 155 00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:42,426 I think I need more information 156 00:07:42,451 --> 00:07:46,411 from the expert who brought it up in front of my wife. 157 00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:48,973 Yeah. 158 00:07:48,998 --> 00:07:50,924 Come on, Lowell. Let's go talk about it in the driveway 159 00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:53,037 man-to-man. Come on. 160 00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:55,798 Come on! Come on. 161 00:07:56,111 --> 00:07:58,113 Come on. 162 00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:01,698 What are you doing to me? 163 00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:06,224 As soon as you called me a man, I knew I was in trouble. 164 00:08:07,950 --> 00:08:11,911 You never say the v-word in another man's house. 165 00:08:13,838 --> 00:08:15,623 I was just trying to help. 166 00:08:15,648 --> 00:08:17,052 You know, millions of guys get vasec... 167 00:08:17,076 --> 00:08:18,338 Stop saying it! 168 00:08:20,146 --> 00:08:22,568 Let me tell you something, Lowell. Surgery is knives 169 00:08:22,593 --> 00:08:24,595 and scalpels and needles, and none of those 170 00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:27,754 will ever come anywhere near my favorite friend. 171 00:08:29,030 --> 00:08:30,791 - S-So, then, don't do it. - Yeah. 172 00:08:30,816 --> 00:08:33,568 But now she's heard the word. 173 00:08:34,032 --> 00:08:35,816 It's out there. 174 00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,996 You did a very bad thing, Lowell. Very bad. 175 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:40,563 I'm not sorry. 176 00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:42,323 You were both playing footsie with me under the table. 177 00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:43,914 I had to make it stop. 178 00:08:52,221 --> 00:08:53,663 Where do you think you're going? 179 00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:54,882 My stuff's in there. 180 00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:56,207 Well, you should've thought about that 181 00:08:56,231 --> 00:08:58,538 before you fired up your propaganda machine. 182 00:09:03,988 --> 00:09:05,354 Hey. 183 00:09:05,834 --> 00:09:06,792 Where's Lowell? 184 00:09:06,817 --> 00:09:08,620 Oh, uh, he left. Yeah. 185 00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:11,681 He felt bad about getting involved 186 00:09:11,725 --> 00:09:14,031 - in our personal business. - Mm. 187 00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:17,553 You know, h-his idea would solve our problem once and for all. 188 00:09:17,578 --> 00:09:19,851 I mean, maybe it's worth considering. 189 00:09:19,876 --> 00:09:20,920 Uh-huh. 190 00:09:20,945 --> 00:09:22,070 I'm gonna go call Janette. 191 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,836 I think her husband had one. 192 00:09:29,990 --> 00:09:31,731 Very bad, Lowell! 193 00:09:40,023 --> 00:09:42,264 Can I come sit with you guys yet? 194 00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:44,710 No. Thanks to you, 195 00:09:44,735 --> 00:09:47,108 Andi says it's something we should consider. 196 00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:49,066 She's calling her friend Janette. 197 00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:50,415 When Janette got wind chimes, 198 00:09:50,459 --> 00:09:52,069 we got wind chimes. 199 00:09:52,928 --> 00:09:55,203 How could you say the v-word in front of his wife? 200 00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:56,813 Why do you hate him? 201 00:09:56,857 --> 00:10:00,338 I didn't know it was such a terrible idea. 202 00:10:00,897 --> 00:10:02,661 Fine, you can come back over. 203 00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:04,386 But you can never say that word again. 204 00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:07,128 I won't, I swear. That was a cold, 205 00:10:07,171 --> 00:10:08,956 lonely eight minutes. 206 00:10:10,871 --> 00:10:12,829 The question is: What do I do now? 207 00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:14,744 Obviously, I'm not gonna get a... 208 00:10:14,788 --> 00:10:16,224 I can't even say it. 209 00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:18,313 Let's just call it Lowell's terrible idea. 210 00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:22,283 You could make Lowell's terrible idea go away 211 00:10:22,308 --> 00:10:24,448 if you give Andi a better solution. 212 00:10:24,488 --> 00:10:25,634 Like what? 213 00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:27,844 Well, there are other forms of birth control. 214 00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:29,933 Your mother and I used the rhythm method. 215 00:10:29,977 --> 00:10:32,370 It only failed twice... One, two. 216 00:10:33,492 --> 00:10:36,072 Or you could just do it with lady on top. 217 00:10:36,097 --> 00:10:37,767 Let gravity do the work. 218 00:10:38,172 --> 00:10:40,335 How do you not have 20 kids? 219 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,859 - Gravity. - Mm. 220 00:10:42,903 --> 00:10:45,023 She's not gonna go for any of those. 221 00:10:45,048 --> 00:10:47,000 Yeah, don't listen to Don's terrible idea. 222 00:10:47,025 --> 00:10:49,141 That's the new terrible idea. 223 00:10:49,336 --> 00:10:51,781 Don't get cocky. You started this. 224 00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:53,429 Look, the minute Lowell mentioned it, 225 00:10:53,454 --> 00:10:54,804 you know what popped into my head? 226 00:10:54,828 --> 00:10:56,967 - Our old dog Rex. - Oh. 227 00:10:56,992 --> 00:10:59,484 After we had him fixed, he was never the same. 228 00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:02,327 That's true. Poor guy stopped chasing the Frisbee. 229 00:11:02,352 --> 00:11:04,773 Just didn't see the point anymore. 230 00:11:05,650 --> 00:11:08,381 His one purpose in life was to make little Rexes, 231 00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:10,452 and the doctor just took it away. 232 00:11:10,929 --> 00:11:13,237 And then, of course, there was the end. 233 00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:15,139 Aw. 234 00:11:15,164 --> 00:11:16,936 The end? What happened to Rex? 235 00:11:16,961 --> 00:11:18,939 Ran out in front of the bookmobile. 236 00:11:21,332 --> 00:11:23,616 We'll never know if it was on purpose or not. 237 00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:27,034 But if he had thumbs, I bet he would have written a note. 238 00:11:27,077 --> 00:11:31,734 I just need a surefire way to make this whole thing disappear. 239 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,170 I mean, 240 00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:35,433 I guess I could just say "no." 241 00:11:35,477 --> 00:11:37,726 Okay. Nice knowing you, Rex. 242 00:11:37,751 --> 00:11:41,273 Yeah. It won't work. That "no" won't stick. 243 00:11:41,298 --> 00:11:42,388 Why not? 244 00:11:42,413 --> 00:11:44,921 Because if you hit her with a knee-jerk "no" 245 00:11:44,946 --> 00:11:48,185 without anything to back it up, she'll hit you with a "why." 246 00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:50,187 And then you're dead. 247 00:11:50,231 --> 00:11:51,610 Right. 248 00:11:51,635 --> 00:11:54,352 So whenever Marcy suggests some nutty thing, 249 00:11:54,377 --> 00:11:56,771 I go through the motions, I get informed, 250 00:11:56,796 --> 00:11:58,836 and then I say, "I thought about it, 251 00:11:58,861 --> 00:12:01,298 I did my homework, but it's a 'no.'" 252 00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:03,210 And that "no" sticks? 253 00:12:03,235 --> 00:12:05,629 Oh, yeah, the wives love it when you do your homework. 254 00:12:05,654 --> 00:12:08,031 - Yeah. - Deep down, they're all teachers. 255 00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:10,947 It's a thoughtful, open-minded "no." 256 00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:13,820 - Mm-hmm. - Wives dig that hippie crap. 257 00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:15,169 Okay. 258 00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:16,413 How about this? 259 00:12:16,438 --> 00:12:19,256 I'll go for a consultation with a doctor who specializes 260 00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:21,218 in Lowell's terrible idea. 261 00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:23,873 I didn't invent it. I just said it. 262 00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:25,585 And I'll bring Andi with me. 263 00:12:25,610 --> 00:12:27,144 Okay, she'll see me doing my homework 264 00:12:27,169 --> 00:12:29,650 by listening to the doctor, I take a day or two 265 00:12:29,675 --> 00:12:31,065 to consider it with an open mind, 266 00:12:31,090 --> 00:12:33,072 then I give Andi a "no" that sticks. 267 00:12:33,097 --> 00:12:35,260 Then problem solved... no vasectomy. 268 00:12:35,285 --> 00:12:36,566 - Lowell! - I heard it. 269 00:12:36,591 --> 00:12:38,593 I'll go back over there. 270 00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:47,244 You know, I am so impressed that you would even consider this. 271 00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:50,421 Well, a consultation seemed like a good idea. 272 00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:53,468 I like to do my homework before I make a decision. 273 00:12:55,470 --> 00:12:58,038 You can never go wrong with homework. 274 00:13:04,801 --> 00:13:06,977 You look hot. 275 00:13:09,341 --> 00:13:10,426 I do? 276 00:13:10,451 --> 00:13:12,574 I don't know. It's been too long. 277 00:13:14,395 --> 00:13:16,169 You could grow that stupid mustache again. 278 00:13:16,194 --> 00:13:17,630 I'd be all over you. 279 00:13:20,764 --> 00:13:24,368 Mr. and Mrs. Burns, the doctor's ready for you. 280 00:13:24,825 --> 00:13:26,098 You okay? 281 00:13:26,123 --> 00:13:28,255 - You nervous? - No. 282 00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:30,732 It's a consultation. 283 00:13:32,064 --> 00:13:34,607 A consultation is just a consultation. 284 00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:37,271 Everybody feels uneasy, 285 00:13:37,296 --> 00:13:39,820 but once they talk to the doctor, they relax. 286 00:13:39,971 --> 00:13:43,148 Some guys even do the procedure during the consultation. 287 00:13:46,189 --> 00:13:48,523 Yeah. That's what Janette's husband did. 288 00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,962 He did, huh? 289 00:13:51,987 --> 00:13:53,771 Old wind chime Bob? 290 00:14:02,329 --> 00:14:04,104 Adam? 291 00:14:21,711 --> 00:14:24,453 There you are. I've been looking all over for you. 292 00:14:25,985 --> 00:14:28,251 How did you get in the house? I had the keys. 293 00:14:28,276 --> 00:14:30,147 Oh, I used my Swiss Army knife. 294 00:14:31,006 --> 00:14:33,126 I hid it under my dress. 295 00:14:34,043 --> 00:14:37,094 Doctor has a knife, I have a knife. Fair is fair. 296 00:14:39,042 --> 00:14:41,088 Care to tell me what happened back there? 297 00:14:41,934 --> 00:14:43,233 I can't do it. 298 00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:44,475 I can't do it so much, 299 00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:46,372 I can't even pretend to think about doing it. 300 00:14:47,427 --> 00:14:48,693 You were pretending? 301 00:14:48,718 --> 00:14:52,069 Yes. I wanted you to think I was open-minded 302 00:14:52,094 --> 00:14:54,241 about that procedure, but I am not. 303 00:14:54,284 --> 00:14:57,418 Do you know what they do in that room? It is barbaric! 304 00:14:59,788 --> 00:15:01,023 It was your idea. 305 00:15:01,048 --> 00:15:03,219 No, it was Lowell's idea. 306 00:15:03,244 --> 00:15:04,991 I would never suggest that. 307 00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:09,038 It would be taking away my whole purpose on this planet. 308 00:15:10,257 --> 00:15:11,946 What about the little Adams? 309 00:15:11,971 --> 00:15:14,227 - What, you mean, like, babies? - Yes. 310 00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:16,836 That's what I'm here for. 311 00:15:16,861 --> 00:15:19,571 To pass on all this good stuff. 312 00:15:22,407 --> 00:15:24,539 But we already had babies. 313 00:15:24,564 --> 00:15:26,101 And we don't need any more. 314 00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:29,406 Look, I... I know we did, 315 00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:31,452 but I'm just saying. 316 00:15:33,382 --> 00:15:35,336 What if? 317 00:15:36,758 --> 00:15:40,069 You mean what if I get struck by lightning 318 00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:41,840 and you want to have kids with some new woman? 319 00:15:41,864 --> 00:15:43,648 That "what if"? 320 00:15:44,628 --> 00:15:45,605 No. 321 00:15:45,630 --> 00:15:47,936 It's bigger and less selfish than that. 322 00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:52,628 What if I want to have kids with lots of women? 323 00:15:55,193 --> 00:15:56,576 Excuse me? 324 00:15:57,931 --> 00:16:00,412 I mean, if there's a natural disaster. 325 00:16:00,588 --> 00:16:02,852 You know, the big one. 326 00:16:03,779 --> 00:16:06,005 Meteor or alien invasion. 327 00:16:06,030 --> 00:16:07,701 Everybody gets wiped out 328 00:16:07,726 --> 00:16:09,859 except me and five young women. 329 00:16:12,637 --> 00:16:15,235 Oh, they're young now. I see. 330 00:16:16,237 --> 00:16:19,197 There's lots of 'em, and they're young. 331 00:16:19,718 --> 00:16:21,231 Well, yeah, they have to be young. 332 00:16:21,256 --> 00:16:22,889 Those are the only people that survive the big one. 333 00:16:22,913 --> 00:16:24,303 Uh-huh. 334 00:16:25,208 --> 00:16:26,721 Then how did you survive? 335 00:16:26,746 --> 00:16:29,183 I can survive anything. I got my Swiss Army knife. 336 00:16:30,838 --> 00:16:35,669 My-my point is, I may have to populate the human race. 337 00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:39,553 It's happened before. My name is Adam. 338 00:16:42,261 --> 00:16:44,612 Okay, so your big worry 339 00:16:45,096 --> 00:16:47,902 is a doomsday orgy fantasy? 340 00:16:49,002 --> 00:16:50,394 Yes! 341 00:16:50,723 --> 00:16:53,378 And you don't want to change that story? 342 00:16:53,754 --> 00:16:56,017 No! 343 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,701 Why? 344 00:16:59,971 --> 00:17:01,518 Why? 345 00:17:02,663 --> 00:17:05,100 Yeah. Why? 346 00:17:08,389 --> 00:17:10,478 I was warned about this. 347 00:17:13,070 --> 00:17:15,072 All right, fine. 348 00:17:16,658 --> 00:17:18,724 If I had that operation, uh... 349 00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:22,563 I would feel like less of a man. 350 00:17:24,786 --> 00:17:26,610 Why didn't you just say that? 351 00:17:26,635 --> 00:17:29,508 Because no man wants to say that. 352 00:17:31,224 --> 00:17:33,139 We don't even want to admit the possibility 353 00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:35,184 that we could be less of a man. 354 00:17:36,528 --> 00:17:39,145 You don't think I'm curious about the mango margarita? 355 00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:41,970 Huh? It looks delicious, 356 00:17:41,995 --> 00:17:44,506 but I will never order one. 357 00:17:45,541 --> 00:17:46,999 Wow. 358 00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:51,157 That is some deep, 359 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,202 ancient boy stuff. 360 00:17:55,049 --> 00:17:56,180 We think things. 361 00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:59,252 We don't tell you all the things, but we think 'em. 362 00:18:01,693 --> 00:18:03,599 Hey, first of all, 363 00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:07,161 I would never want you to do something that you didn't want to do. 364 00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:08,722 And second of all, 365 00:18:08,747 --> 00:18:11,968 you could never be less of a man to me. 366 00:18:13,264 --> 00:18:14,419 Really? 367 00:18:14,444 --> 00:18:15,616 Really. 368 00:18:22,077 --> 00:18:24,035 You know, uh... 369 00:18:24,719 --> 00:18:26,808 it's windy today. 370 00:18:28,331 --> 00:18:30,879 And when I was running home, 371 00:18:30,904 --> 00:18:32,558 trying to keep my dress down... 372 00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:34,939 it occurred to me 373 00:18:34,983 --> 00:18:38,935 that I may have overreacted a little bit. 374 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:40,875 - A lot. - A lot. 375 00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:47,116 I love you. 376 00:18:47,365 --> 00:18:48,874 I love you, too. 377 00:18:51,162 --> 00:18:52,914 But we still can't have sex. 378 00:18:52,957 --> 00:18:54,742 I know. 379 00:18:57,260 --> 00:18:59,958 But what's our second-favorite thing to do in the bedroom? 380 00:19:01,126 --> 00:19:02,911 We can watch House Hunters. 381 00:19:05,928 --> 00:19:07,169 Okay. 382 00:19:07,194 --> 00:19:10,935 Hey, but you can't hug me when they find wood floors 383 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,528 under the carpet, or we might have a fourth kid. 384 00:19:18,008 --> 00:19:20,532 But it turns me on so much! 385 00:19:26,277 --> 00:19:28,062 You don't look so good. 386 00:19:28,808 --> 00:19:31,115 I had another nookie-free night. 387 00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:34,564 I'm going crazy. 388 00:19:34,732 --> 00:19:38,127 I'm like a racehorse stuck in a barn. 389 00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:41,767 I know what you mean. It's like the Olympics. 390 00:19:41,792 --> 00:19:43,167 If I don't get it every two years, 391 00:19:43,192 --> 00:19:45,020 I feel like I missed something. 392 00:19:45,862 --> 00:19:47,982 Adam? Adam, I just got off the phone with my doctor... 393 00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:49,931 Oh. Lowell, 394 00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:52,169 you have to go. Now! 395 00:19:52,194 --> 00:19:53,848 Now? Why? 396 00:19:55,221 --> 00:19:56,564 Because all your stuff's out there. 397 00:19:56,588 --> 00:19:58,196 Come on! Come on. 398 00:19:58,221 --> 00:19:59,328 Come on, come on. 399 00:19:59,372 --> 00:20:01,678 This keeps happening to me. 400 00:20:02,473 --> 00:20:04,479 What? What? What is it? 401 00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:06,466 The doctor got my test results back, 402 00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:08,859 and my headaches aren't from the pill. 403 00:20:08,903 --> 00:20:10,830 It's from too much coffee! Yeah. 404 00:20:10,855 --> 00:20:13,244 Turns out I have a horrible caffeine addiction! 405 00:20:13,269 --> 00:20:15,119 How awesome is that?! 406 00:20:15,144 --> 00:20:17,390 So awesome! 407 00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:19,689 - Let's celebrate. Where's your pills? - I already took two. 408 00:20:19,713 --> 00:20:21,056 The kids are at school. I'll race you upstairs. 409 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:24,148 Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 410 00:20:24,173 --> 00:20:25,934 - Wait,, wait, wait, wait, wait. - What? 411 00:20:25,959 --> 00:20:27,482 What is that for? 412 00:20:27,507 --> 00:20:29,422 You know, just for fun. 413 00:20:30,869 --> 00:20:33,295 You be the sexy nurse, and I'll be the guy 414 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,340 who just woke up from a coma and forgot how to have sex. 415 00:20:35,364 --> 00:20:37,460 Oh, let's go. Oh! 416 00:20:40,124 --> 00:20:45,124 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com - 29515

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