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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,765 --> 00:00:06,746 What are you doing up here in Eve's room? 2 00:00:06,748 --> 00:00:09,259 What? I'm just taking some of this old stuff down. 3 00:00:09,261 --> 00:00:12,089 What? Not the Peyton Manning poster. 4 00:00:12,091 --> 00:00:14,981 I come up here all the time and look at that. 5 00:00:14,983 --> 00:00:17,306 It just reminds me of a time when the Broncos didn't suck. 6 00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:19,284 Okay. 7 00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:21,569 Look, Eve doesn't need this room anymore. 8 00:00:21,571 --> 00:00:24,030 She qualified for the pilot training program. 9 00:00:24,032 --> 00:00:25,790 It's a ten-year commitment. 10 00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:28,951 And even Air Force pilots don't need stuffed bears anymore. 11 00:00:28,953 --> 00:00:31,528 Well, we don't have to change everything. 12 00:00:31,530 --> 00:00:35,283 Oh, honey, you have had a month to think about this. 13 00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:36,701 That's enough time to grieve. 14 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:39,128 You know, a lot of people think you're the emotional one, 15 00:00:39,130 --> 00:00:40,789 but I think you're cold as ice. 16 00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:45,292 We're not using this room for anything else. 17 00:00:45,294 --> 00:00:49,346 True. True, but, look, I need it to be different. 18 00:00:49,346 --> 00:00:53,260 Uh, every time I walk by this room, I burst into tears. 19 00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:56,659 It's-it's like my little tomboy is-is all grown up, 20 00:00:56,661 --> 00:00:58,389 and now she's a... 21 00:00:58,391 --> 00:01:01,041 - Killing machine. - What? 22 00:01:01,043 --> 00:01:03,930 A woman. A woman. Look, it... 23 00:01:03,932 --> 00:01:08,182 It just reminds me that this phase in our lives is over. 24 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:12,484 Give me Mrs. Huggy Pants. 25 00:01:16,348 --> 00:01:18,548 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 26 00:01:20,989 --> 00:01:22,664 Mm. 27 00:01:26,430 --> 00:01:28,636 - Oh, hey. Wow, look at that. - Hi. 28 00:01:28,638 --> 00:01:29,877 You guys are back early. 29 00:01:29,879 --> 00:01:31,686 Well, having Jen help me write the vlogs 30 00:01:31,688 --> 00:01:32,926 - has been very helpful to me. - Yeah. 31 00:01:32,928 --> 00:01:35,321 - What's in the box? - Huh? What box? 32 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:39,226 It's pretty heavy, 'cause your eyes are twitching. 33 00:01:39,228 --> 00:01:40,678 - Nope. - So, it must be... 34 00:01:42,423 --> 00:01:44,740 - Mike. - You're still moving stuff out of Eve's room? 35 00:01:44,742 --> 00:01:46,140 - Come on. - Can you believe this, Jen? 36 00:01:46,142 --> 00:01:47,814 That you're upset about something? 37 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:50,641 Yeah, I've seen it before. 38 00:01:50,643 --> 00:01:52,933 Look, Eve is fine with it. 39 00:01:52,935 --> 00:01:55,702 And maybe... maybe we can use that as a guest room. 40 00:01:55,704 --> 00:01:57,071 Hell no. A guest room? 41 00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:59,139 That means we have to have guests. 42 00:01:59,141 --> 00:02:01,435 We're leaving the room the way it is. 43 00:02:01,437 --> 00:02:03,052 You know, if you don't like what's in there, 44 00:02:03,054 --> 00:02:04,669 just shut the door, you won't have to see it. 45 00:02:04,671 --> 00:02:08,010 No. No. Look, I-I just want to make it comfortable 46 00:02:08,012 --> 00:02:10,400 for Jen's dad for-for graduation week. 47 00:02:10,402 --> 00:02:12,325 You don't need a guest room. 48 00:02:12,327 --> 00:02:13,945 My dad's not coming to graduation. 49 00:02:13,947 --> 00:02:16,948 He's not coming? Since when? 50 00:02:16,950 --> 00:02:19,643 He's so busy, I'd feel terrible asking him. 51 00:02:19,645 --> 00:02:21,420 - Uh... - You didn't even ask him? 52 00:02:21,422 --> 00:02:23,600 No. My dad would do anything for me, 53 00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:25,065 and I didn't want to pressure him. 54 00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:27,042 Well, if I were your dad, I'd want to be here. 55 00:02:27,044 --> 00:02:28,985 Yes. I know that. 56 00:02:28,987 --> 00:02:31,054 It's what makes you awesome. 57 00:02:31,056 --> 00:02:33,498 You're the family who helped me through high school. 58 00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:36,886 If you're there, that's all I really need. 59 00:02:38,689 --> 00:02:41,031 We're all she really needs? 60 00:02:41,033 --> 00:02:44,651 So, she's no longer the exchange student that lives with us. 61 00:02:44,653 --> 00:02:46,854 Now she's a child that we've stolen. 62 00:02:52,377 --> 00:02:54,369 Whoa, hey, hey, Kyle, Kyle. 63 00:02:54,371 --> 00:02:56,655 Kyle, check out this cool thing my friend sent me. 64 00:02:56,657 --> 00:02:58,707 Oh, uh, we're on the clock, buddy. 65 00:02:58,709 --> 00:03:00,800 If, uh... if it's not work-related, 66 00:03:00,802 --> 00:03:02,886 it's gonna have to wait. 67 00:03:02,888 --> 00:03:05,080 Unless it's something really cool. 68 00:03:06,541 --> 00:03:08,751 You know what? I'll just come over. 69 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,538 It's this audio clip 70 00:03:11,540 --> 00:03:14,030 that's been on the Internet for the last couple of years. 71 00:03:14,032 --> 00:03:15,891 It's this guy saying this one word over and over. 72 00:03:15,893 --> 00:03:17,519 Some people think he's saying "Laurel", 73 00:03:17,521 --> 00:03:19,553 and other people think he's saying "Yanny". 74 00:03:19,555 --> 00:03:21,429 - What? - No, no, no, no. 75 00:03:21,431 --> 00:03:23,456 I'll play it for you. Here it is. 76 00:03:23,458 --> 00:03:27,353 Laurel. Laurel. Laurel. 77 00:03:27,355 --> 00:03:29,468 Okay. Yeah, he's saying "Laurel". 78 00:03:29,470 --> 00:03:33,067 Well, yeah. No. I hear "Yanny" clear as a bell. 79 00:03:34,337 --> 00:03:36,278 Is this a prank? 80 00:03:37,982 --> 00:03:40,449 Hey, hey, hey, guys. Yeah, come-come-come over here. 81 00:03:40,451 --> 00:03:42,718 Tell me what word you hear. 82 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:46,113 Laurel. Laurel. Laurel. 83 00:03:46,115 --> 00:03:47,580 Ah, this thing? 84 00:03:47,582 --> 00:03:49,783 It's "Laurel", end of story. 85 00:03:49,785 --> 00:03:51,210 Thank you, Kristin. 86 00:03:51,212 --> 00:03:52,347 What? "Laurel"? 87 00:03:52,349 --> 00:03:54,833 Are you nuts? It's saying "Yanny". 88 00:03:56,466 --> 00:03:57,958 Well, hey, let's see what Ed thinks. 89 00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,851 - Ed, Ed, what do you hear? - Yeah. 90 00:03:59,853 --> 00:04:03,647 Laurel. Laurel. Laurel. 91 00:04:03,649 --> 00:04:07,059 Oh. I hear "Get back to work". 92 00:04:11,798 --> 00:04:15,276 I love these Dirty Harry movies. 93 00:04:15,278 --> 00:04:19,938 - Mm. - "Go ahead. Make my day". 94 00:04:19,940 --> 00:04:22,682 Yeah, a lot of people think Eastwood came up with that. 95 00:04:22,684 --> 00:04:24,051 Actually, it was me. 96 00:04:24,053 --> 00:04:27,259 Really? You coined the Dirty Harry catchphrase? 97 00:04:27,261 --> 00:04:28,663 Not just that one. 98 00:04:28,665 --> 00:04:30,651 A lot of times I leave work, and look at Ed, 99 00:04:30,653 --> 00:04:34,043 and I say, "I'll be back". 100 00:04:34,045 --> 00:04:36,226 And my favorite one of all time is "More power". 101 00:04:36,228 --> 00:04:38,882 Oh, oh, oh, oh. 102 00:04:38,884 --> 00:04:42,590 Uh, Mike, the, uh... the eagle has landed. 103 00:04:42,592 --> 00:04:44,696 That's another one, "The Eagle has landed". One of mine. 104 00:04:44,698 --> 00:04:48,492 No, no, no. No, no, no. The, uh, the eagle has landed. 105 00:04:48,494 --> 00:04:50,981 - Our eagle? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yes. 106 00:04:50,983 --> 00:04:52,105 Can-can I tell her? 107 00:04:52,107 --> 00:04:53,912 - Yeah. - Tell me what? Wait. 108 00:04:53,914 --> 00:04:57,280 Eagle? Jeep Eagle? You guys got me a car 109 00:04:57,282 --> 00:04:58,331 - for graduation... - No, no. No, no. 110 00:04:58,333 --> 00:05:01,586 - ... and it's sitting in the driveway?! - No. No, no, no. No, no. No. 111 00:05:01,588 --> 00:05:03,168 When have we ever done anything 112 00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:05,242 that makes you think we're that generous? 113 00:05:05,244 --> 00:05:07,619 This surprise is better. 114 00:05:07,621 --> 00:05:10,197 It turns out your father isn't too busy, 115 00:05:10,199 --> 00:05:14,100 so we invited him to the graduation, and now... 116 00:05:14,102 --> 00:05:15,760 He's here! 117 00:05:15,762 --> 00:05:17,187 What? 118 00:05:17,189 --> 00:05:19,637 Well, not "here" here. He's-he's at the airport, 119 00:05:19,639 --> 00:05:21,631 probably near one of those soft pretzel stands. 120 00:05:21,633 --> 00:05:22,821 - Oh, yeah. - I should call him, 121 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,195 and have him bring some for everybody. 122 00:05:25,197 --> 00:05:26,496 You knew we were awesome, 123 00:05:26,498 --> 00:05:28,523 but did you know we were this awesome? 124 00:05:28,525 --> 00:05:31,017 This is not awesome. 125 00:05:31,019 --> 00:05:33,295 Hey, what's-what's going on? 126 00:05:33,297 --> 00:05:35,547 Is everything okay with your dad? 127 00:05:35,549 --> 00:05:38,625 Oh, yeah. I love my dad. I want to see him. 128 00:05:38,627 --> 00:05:40,735 Well, good, 'cause he flew here from Hong Kong. 129 00:05:40,737 --> 00:05:42,971 I don't want to see his girlfriend. 130 00:05:42,973 --> 00:05:44,948 You don't know that he brought his girlfriend. 131 00:05:44,950 --> 00:05:48,159 - He did, Mike. - Okay. 132 00:05:48,161 --> 00:05:51,135 Great. Now you guys get to meet the woman 133 00:05:51,137 --> 00:05:53,015 who wants to replace my mom. 134 00:05:53,017 --> 00:05:56,081 Well... 135 00:05:56,083 --> 00:05:57,514 Well, it's not gonna be easy, 136 00:05:57,516 --> 00:05:59,922 but we're gonna have to get her a Jeep Eagle. 137 00:06:06,622 --> 00:06:08,180 Hey, Jen. 138 00:06:08,182 --> 00:06:11,491 Tell us about this girlfriend that you don't like. 139 00:06:11,493 --> 00:06:12,868 I don't want to talk about it. 140 00:06:12,870 --> 00:06:14,519 I hope you can respect that. 141 00:06:14,521 --> 00:06:15,820 Yeah, of course we can. 142 00:06:15,822 --> 00:06:18,077 Yeah, you-you come and tell us whenever you want. 143 00:06:18,079 --> 00:06:20,738 Like when the big hand is on now. 144 00:06:22,053 --> 00:06:24,278 Honey, we just want to know what we're dealing with. 145 00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:26,531 You-you never mentioned that your dad had a girlfriend. 146 00:06:26,533 --> 00:06:29,276 Well, he does. 147 00:06:29,278 --> 00:06:31,394 Fiona. 148 00:06:31,396 --> 00:06:35,115 All right, well, Fiona. Come on, it's a lovely name. 149 00:06:35,117 --> 00:06:37,618 Not the way she says it. 150 00:06:37,620 --> 00:06:41,446 For years, she and my dad were "friends", 151 00:06:41,448 --> 00:06:43,445 but when I was home last summer, 152 00:06:43,447 --> 00:06:46,755 my dad told me their relationship had "progressed". 153 00:06:47,854 --> 00:06:51,126 - Okay... - I often tell people that, uh, 154 00:06:51,128 --> 00:06:53,151 progress isn't always the best thing, 155 00:06:53,153 --> 00:06:56,979 but people don't listen, because they're usually on their phones. 156 00:06:56,981 --> 00:06:59,452 They do everything together now. 157 00:06:59,454 --> 00:07:01,693 They got matching pajamas this Christmas. 158 00:07:01,695 --> 00:07:03,187 Ugh! 159 00:07:04,496 --> 00:07:06,280 Kind of sorry I saw that. 160 00:07:07,741 --> 00:07:10,862 I have to look that guy in the eye in two hours, it's... 161 00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:13,420 I don't know what he sees in her. 162 00:07:13,422 --> 00:07:15,520 She's nothing like my mother. 163 00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:19,554 My mom was sweet and kind and thoughtful. 164 00:07:19,556 --> 00:07:21,237 We know, Jen. But, look, it's-it's just 165 00:07:21,239 --> 00:07:23,268 for a couple days. I'm sure you can handle that. 166 00:07:23,270 --> 00:07:25,591 - I mean, look, she can't be any worse than Mike. - Ha. 167 00:07:26,677 --> 00:07:28,731 It's not a contest, honey, 168 00:07:28,733 --> 00:07:30,725 but it's good to know I'm the bar. 169 00:07:34,084 --> 00:07:37,252 Hey, babe. Here is your left shoe. 170 00:07:37,254 --> 00:07:38,454 Oh, thank you. 171 00:07:40,361 --> 00:07:42,851 This morning, I put on a brown one and a black one. 172 00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:45,581 I... I can't see my feet. 173 00:07:47,356 --> 00:07:50,473 So, I heard about this whole Laurel and Yanny thing. 174 00:07:50,475 --> 00:07:52,847 You know, the reason why you hear two different things 175 00:07:52,849 --> 00:07:56,354 is because they're recorded in two different frequencies. 176 00:07:56,356 --> 00:08:00,021 So... which one did you hear? 177 00:08:00,023 --> 00:08:02,630 Kyle? We agreed not to talk about it. 178 00:08:02,632 --> 00:08:04,663 You're right. 179 00:08:04,665 --> 00:08:06,540 All right. Sorry. 180 00:08:06,542 --> 00:08:11,019 Yeah, but maybe he could break the tie. 181 00:08:11,021 --> 00:08:14,806 Yeah. Go ahead, honey. What do you hear? 182 00:08:19,072 --> 00:08:20,520 Yanny. 183 00:08:20,522 --> 00:08:21,580 - You fool! - Whoo! 184 00:08:21,582 --> 00:08:23,874 Chuck, we finally win! 185 00:08:23,876 --> 00:08:26,943 Isn't this a pretty picture. 186 00:08:26,945 --> 00:08:31,314 My wife and my best friend both hearing "Yanny". 187 00:08:31,316 --> 00:08:34,732 Come on, Kyle. Let's get away from these Yannies. 188 00:08:34,734 --> 00:08:37,470 That is so childish. 189 00:08:37,472 --> 00:08:40,791 Oh, yeah? Well, Laurels rule and Yannies drool! 190 00:08:44,244 --> 00:08:45,766 Yeah, actually, I heard Laurel; 191 00:08:45,768 --> 00:08:47,343 I just wanted to mess with my wife. 192 00:08:52,621 --> 00:08:54,693 Oh, this thing with Jen just breaks my heart. 193 00:08:54,695 --> 00:08:57,170 You know, I know I didn't like the idea of my mom 194 00:08:57,172 --> 00:08:58,488 in a new relationship, either. 195 00:08:58,490 --> 00:09:00,783 Is this about Ed? He's a good stepfather. 196 00:09:00,785 --> 00:09:02,271 Remember the time he held your hand 197 00:09:02,273 --> 00:09:05,582 - and took you to the park? - No, stop. Stop. No. 198 00:09:05,584 --> 00:09:07,271 No. Look, after my dad died, 199 00:09:07,273 --> 00:09:09,479 there was a new guy buzzing around my mom... 200 00:09:09,481 --> 00:09:11,213 mowing the lawn, raking the leaves. 201 00:09:11,215 --> 00:09:13,231 He's called a gardener. 202 00:09:13,233 --> 00:09:15,152 You know, look. 203 00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:16,982 Look, i-if you ever wonder why 204 00:09:16,984 --> 00:09:20,555 I sometimes don't share things with you, remember this moment. 205 00:09:20,557 --> 00:09:25,358 I got a welcome gift for Fiona, but only because you made me. 206 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,503 - Ooh, rose quartz. - Yeah. Yeah. 207 00:09:27,505 --> 00:09:29,008 - Wow, it's beautiful. - Good idea. 208 00:09:29,010 --> 00:09:31,237 I think it'll be good to have in the room. 209 00:09:31,239 --> 00:09:35,220 It's said to calm feelings of anger or resentment. 210 00:09:36,406 --> 00:09:38,373 Kind of like beer. 211 00:09:40,134 --> 00:09:41,657 The first two, not the last six. 212 00:09:41,659 --> 00:09:44,065 That's, that's just a black eye and a police report. 213 00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:46,207 Oh, all right. 214 00:09:46,209 --> 00:09:47,990 - Okay. - Okay. All right, good. 215 00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:53,088 - Pa! - Ah-mui! Ah. 216 00:09:53,090 --> 00:09:55,682 - Hey, Henry. Welcome. - Ah. Hi, Henry. 217 00:09:55,684 --> 00:09:57,217 - Oh, thanks for having us. - Yes. 218 00:09:57,219 --> 00:09:59,571 I wouldn't miss Jen's graduation for the world. 219 00:09:59,573 --> 00:10:01,882 Uh... oh, you must be Fiona. 220 00:10:01,884 --> 00:10:03,818 Yes, we-we are so glad you could come. 221 00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:06,716 - Oh, nice to meet you all. - Yeah, Mike Baxter. Welcome. 222 00:10:06,718 --> 00:10:08,731 Told you you were overdressed. 223 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,758 Everywhere we go, you're like Elton John. 224 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,619 Yeah, look at me. 225 00:10:12,621 --> 00:10:13,750 "Rocket Man". 226 00:10:13,752 --> 00:10:16,297 At least it's not matching pajamas. 227 00:10:16,299 --> 00:10:18,083 Yeah. 228 00:10:21,452 --> 00:10:24,186 I think you look nice, Dad. 229 00:10:29,042 --> 00:10:30,541 Uh, so, well, 230 00:10:30,543 --> 00:10:32,386 - let's not stand by the door all night. - Yeah. 231 00:10:32,388 --> 00:10:34,670 - Come on into the living room. - Come on. Come on in, sit down. Sit. 232 00:10:34,672 --> 00:10:38,163 - Okay. - Oh. What a beautiful home. 233 00:10:38,165 --> 00:10:39,403 - Oh, thank you. - Thank you. 234 00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:42,368 This one's sense of decor is mid-century bowling alley. 235 00:10:44,169 --> 00:10:45,708 I like our apartment. 236 00:10:45,710 --> 00:10:47,161 So does she. 237 00:10:47,163 --> 00:10:49,155 Not as much as she likes bad jokes. 238 00:10:49,157 --> 00:10:51,180 Oh, it's not a joke. 239 00:10:51,182 --> 00:10:53,313 When you visit, he rents you shoes. 240 00:10:54,759 --> 00:10:56,912 That's funny. That is... 241 00:10:56,914 --> 00:10:59,280 Uh, you know who else is funny? 242 00:10:59,282 --> 00:11:00,847 Say something. Say something. 243 00:11:00,849 --> 00:11:03,434 Okay, okay, all right. One of my favorite jokes. 244 00:11:03,436 --> 00:11:06,171 - The potato joke. - No. 245 00:11:06,173 --> 00:11:09,989 Um, so, uh, w-we're so glad you could be here. 246 00:11:09,991 --> 00:11:11,561 - Uh, h-how was your flight? - Yeah. 247 00:11:11,563 --> 00:11:13,638 Well, I got a lot of exercise. 248 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,215 - Yeah. - Up, down, up, down. 249 00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:17,812 I mean, if you're gonna go to the bathroom every hour, 250 00:11:17,814 --> 00:11:19,052 sit on the aisle. 251 00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:24,638 That's funny. You stick him in the middle seat, 252 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,923 then complain because you have to get up. 253 00:11:26,925 --> 00:11:28,893 You could've just switched seats. 254 00:11:28,895 --> 00:11:31,519 Ha, ha, ha. See? I'm being funny, too. 255 00:11:32,856 --> 00:11:34,563 Uh... 256 00:11:34,565 --> 00:11:36,949 Jen, uh, dear, why don't you come in the kitchen with me, 257 00:11:36,951 --> 00:11:38,159 help me fix some drinks? 258 00:11:38,161 --> 00:11:39,875 I think it's a good time for the potato joke. 259 00:11:39,877 --> 00:11:42,544 - Two guys are... - No. No, hey! No, no. 260 00:11:42,546 --> 00:11:44,488 Come, come with us. 261 00:11:44,490 --> 00:11:46,877 I'll stay here and make sure Henry doesn't steal anything. 262 00:11:48,003 --> 00:11:51,103 Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 263 00:11:51,105 --> 00:11:53,263 Well, the quartz thing didn't work. 264 00:11:53,265 --> 00:11:54,866 Looks like rocks aren't magic. 265 00:11:54,868 --> 00:11:56,701 I told you. 266 00:11:56,703 --> 00:11:58,575 - She's the worst person in the world. - All right, look, 267 00:11:58,577 --> 00:12:00,237 I-I don't know if she's that bad. 268 00:12:00,239 --> 00:12:02,430 - All she does is put my father down. - Hey. 269 00:12:02,432 --> 00:12:04,734 That's what couples do. I make fun of Vanessa all the time. 270 00:12:04,736 --> 00:12:06,314 Yeah, and look, it doesn't bother me. 271 00:12:06,316 --> 00:12:07,666 And you know how you can tell? 272 00:12:07,668 --> 00:12:11,240 I make him dinner, and yet he's still with us. 273 00:12:11,242 --> 00:12:14,126 I can't believe you both like her. 274 00:12:14,128 --> 00:12:15,881 Look, no, I just met the woman. 275 00:12:15,883 --> 00:12:18,422 Do I want to take a six-hour car ride with her? No. 276 00:12:18,424 --> 00:12:19,648 Unless it's in a hearse. 277 00:12:19,650 --> 00:12:21,367 You're not helping. 278 00:12:21,369 --> 00:12:23,994 - I didn't say she was in the back. - Oh, my God. 279 00:12:23,996 --> 00:12:26,737 Sunday is my graduation, 280 00:12:26,739 --> 00:12:28,297 and I don't want her here. 281 00:12:28,299 --> 00:12:30,452 Okay, look, Jen, Jen. 282 00:12:30,454 --> 00:12:33,620 You don't want the memory of your graduation to be 283 00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:36,474 all about the blowup you had with your father's girlfriend. 284 00:12:38,052 --> 00:12:39,768 - Okay. - Good. 285 00:12:39,770 --> 00:12:42,396 Then can I get drunk? 286 00:12:42,398 --> 00:12:44,181 No. 287 00:12:44,183 --> 00:12:45,525 Right? 288 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,830 Okay, hold on, but give me a minute. 289 00:12:53,832 --> 00:12:57,691 Um, then there's Zion, uh, National Park, 290 00:12:57,693 --> 00:13:01,055 which is gorgeous, beautiful, certainly worth seeing. 291 00:13:01,057 --> 00:13:03,414 And there you have all the national parks 292 00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,044 in alphabetical order. 293 00:13:09,093 --> 00:13:12,818 Uh, uh, well, you know, I-I love cities. 294 00:13:12,820 --> 00:13:16,181 - Yes. Right. - So, uh, I like to start with Akron, Ohio. 295 00:13:16,183 --> 00:13:18,794 I-I'd love to hear about it, 296 00:13:18,796 --> 00:13:21,194 but, uh, Fiona and I are a little jet-lagged. 297 00:13:21,196 --> 00:13:22,595 - Oh, of course. - Oh. Okay, all right. 298 00:13:22,597 --> 00:13:24,888 Uh, ah-mui, we'll talk tomorrow. 299 00:13:24,890 --> 00:13:27,197 Tomorrow? We didn't even talk to her tonight. 300 00:13:27,199 --> 00:13:29,336 She's so quiet, this one. 301 00:13:29,338 --> 00:13:32,247 Oh, I can talk. I have a lot to say. 302 00:13:32,249 --> 00:13:35,130 All right, yeah, but they already said their goodbyes, 303 00:13:35,132 --> 00:13:36,447 so we're just, we're gonna let them go. 304 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:37,779 And maybe there's a better time for us 305 00:13:37,781 --> 00:13:39,029 to have this conversation, Jen. 306 00:13:39,031 --> 00:13:41,055 It won't take long. 307 00:13:41,057 --> 00:13:47,044 All I have to say is: why? 308 00:13:47,046 --> 00:13:49,305 I-I'll be right back. 309 00:13:49,307 --> 00:13:51,574 Yeah, u-uh... 310 00:13:51,576 --> 00:13:53,260 Uh, did... ? 311 00:13:59,646 --> 00:14:01,259 Uh, Mike, just... 312 00:14:01,261 --> 00:14:03,295 They're not swearing, so I don't really understand 313 00:14:03,297 --> 00:14:05,139 what they're saying. 314 00:14:06,265 --> 00:14:07,937 I know what they're saying. 315 00:14:07,939 --> 00:14:09,938 Honey, go. 316 00:14:09,940 --> 00:14:11,548 - Tell her the potato joke. - No, just... 317 00:14:18,654 --> 00:14:20,421 Excuse me, excuse me. 318 00:14:20,423 --> 00:14:22,890 I-I'll first say that it's-it's a lovely language 319 00:14:22,892 --> 00:14:24,708 when you're arguing like that. It's... 320 00:14:24,710 --> 00:14:26,712 - We weren't arguing. - Yes, we were. 321 00:14:26,714 --> 00:14:28,437 Well, now you are. 322 00:14:28,439 --> 00:14:32,258 Uh, J-Jen, would you give us a minute, please? 323 00:14:32,260 --> 00:14:34,777 I want to talk to your dad for a moment. Please? 324 00:14:34,779 --> 00:14:38,272 Fine. I'm going for a walk. 325 00:14:38,274 --> 00:14:39,423 Don't go far. 326 00:14:40,865 --> 00:14:43,388 - Listen, I... - Sorry. 327 00:14:43,390 --> 00:14:45,655 She's complaining about Fiona. 328 00:14:45,657 --> 00:14:47,893 She doesn't understand what I like about her. 329 00:14:47,895 --> 00:14:49,427 Well, I got to be honest, I kind of wondered 330 00:14:49,429 --> 00:14:51,668 the same thing myself. I just... 331 00:14:51,670 --> 00:14:55,222 Yes, I know, Fiona has a big personality. 332 00:14:55,224 --> 00:14:56,757 It's just what I needed. 333 00:14:56,759 --> 00:15:00,352 Just, I-I've never really needed to get my balls busted. 334 00:15:02,607 --> 00:15:04,415 But I-I got to be honest, 335 00:15:04,417 --> 00:15:07,093 I-I don't think this is just about Fiona. 336 00:15:07,095 --> 00:15:08,727 Eh, I don't, either. 337 00:15:08,729 --> 00:15:13,298 Jen wants things to stay the way they used to be. 338 00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:14,917 - But they don't. - No, no. 339 00:15:14,919 --> 00:15:18,138 It's okay for her to go forward with her life, 340 00:15:18,140 --> 00:15:19,963 but she doesn't want me to move on. 341 00:15:19,965 --> 00:15:21,957 Y-You understand. You have daughters. 342 00:15:21,959 --> 00:15:25,611 Yeah, I've got, uh, two married daughters and, uh... 343 00:15:25,613 --> 00:15:28,781 and my, uh, y-youngest is, um, Eve. 344 00:15:28,783 --> 00:15:31,702 - Mm. - She's in, uh, Air Force Academy. 345 00:15:31,704 --> 00:15:34,236 Well, while Eve is away, I'm sure she doesn't want 346 00:15:34,238 --> 00:15:36,772 things here at home to change, either. 347 00:15:36,774 --> 00:15:38,456 Yes. 348 00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:41,444 There has been some resistance around here about that. 349 00:15:42,396 --> 00:15:44,488 So you understand. 350 00:15:46,058 --> 00:15:49,994 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I-I understand. 351 00:16:02,282 --> 00:16:05,993 Really? You're not even gonna say good morning? 352 00:16:05,995 --> 00:16:09,429 Why should I? I don't know what you people hear. 353 00:16:10,758 --> 00:16:12,383 Just drop it, Kyle. 354 00:16:12,385 --> 00:16:13,726 No, it's no big deal. 355 00:16:13,728 --> 00:16:18,247 All I'm saying is I don't know you! 356 00:16:18,249 --> 00:16:20,616 - Hey, Kristin. - Hey, Kyle. 357 00:16:20,618 --> 00:16:22,693 Oh, I see you two are on a first-name basis. 358 00:16:23,956 --> 00:16:27,089 Oh, so you can you hear that, but you don't hear Laurel? 359 00:16:27,091 --> 00:16:28,881 - No, I hear Yanny. - Laurel. 360 00:16:28,883 --> 00:16:30,766 - Yanny. Yanny. - Laurel. Laurel. Laurel. 361 00:16:30,768 --> 00:16:32,394 Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. 362 00:16:32,396 --> 00:16:34,396 I want to say something here. 363 00:16:34,398 --> 00:16:36,790 Yanny, Yanny, Yanny, Yanny, Yanny! 364 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,820 Time-out, time-out. 365 00:16:41,822 --> 00:16:45,849 I got a recording of my own I want you all to listen to. 366 00:16:45,851 --> 00:16:48,525 Just let me know what you hear. Tell me. 367 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,225 I can't really make anything out. 368 00:16:55,227 --> 00:16:56,927 It sounds like a bunch of people at a party. 369 00:16:56,929 --> 00:16:58,503 Yeah, w-what is this thing, Ed? 370 00:16:58,505 --> 00:17:01,023 It's you knuckleheads hanging out last week. 371 00:17:03,093 --> 00:17:07,045 - Sounds like we were having a really good time. - You were. 372 00:17:07,047 --> 00:17:10,881 And then we let all this Laurel-Yanny stuff split us up. 373 00:17:10,883 --> 00:17:14,815 You did. See, "out there" everybody's always fighting. 374 00:17:14,817 --> 00:17:18,648 They're, I mean, they're looking for things to fight about. 375 00:17:18,650 --> 00:17:20,751 I don't want that in here, folks. 376 00:17:22,130 --> 00:17:24,121 I-I don't, either. 377 00:17:24,123 --> 00:17:26,857 From now on, 378 00:17:26,859 --> 00:17:29,935 let's not talk about things that separate us. 379 00:17:29,937 --> 00:17:33,123 Agreed. Let's just stick to politics and religion. 380 00:17:39,369 --> 00:17:41,175 Did you finally cave 381 00:17:41,177 --> 00:17:43,682 and agree to let Vanessa change Eve's room? 382 00:17:43,684 --> 00:17:47,194 No, actually, we've invited Fiona to move in. 383 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,565 Ha, ha. 384 00:17:51,567 --> 00:17:53,701 I miss Eve. 385 00:17:56,655 --> 00:18:01,124 But I don't think she's moving back. 386 00:18:01,126 --> 00:18:05,975 I just have to accept the fact that things change. 387 00:18:05,977 --> 00:18:08,242 Wow. The way you were acting, 388 00:18:08,244 --> 00:18:10,217 I didn't think you would ever accept that. 389 00:18:10,219 --> 00:18:11,993 Well... 390 00:18:11,995 --> 00:18:14,108 I'm having a little difficulty moving on. 391 00:18:14,110 --> 00:18:16,732 Uh, it's probably my age. 392 00:18:16,734 --> 00:18:21,595 More likely, 'cause I loved the way things used to be. 393 00:18:21,597 --> 00:18:24,690 I've got to learn to make the best of it, you know? 394 00:18:26,544 --> 00:18:29,028 It's not like I have a choice. 395 00:18:31,082 --> 00:18:33,449 I get it. You're talking about me, too. 396 00:18:33,451 --> 00:18:35,426 But maybe I don't want to move on. 397 00:18:35,428 --> 00:18:38,411 I'm not talking about you. I was talking about your dad. 398 00:18:38,413 --> 00:18:39,763 You know, he wants to move on. 399 00:18:39,765 --> 00:18:42,124 He's having a hard time, and I understand that. 400 00:18:44,170 --> 00:18:46,879 And do you want to make it harder for him? 401 00:18:52,712 --> 00:18:55,404 You want some help? 402 00:18:55,406 --> 00:18:56,630 Sure, that'd be great. 403 00:18:56,632 --> 00:18:58,598 Um, just pack her sweaters up. 404 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,327 There's two boxes over there. 405 00:19:01,329 --> 00:19:04,930 Mike Baxter here for Outdoor Man talking about change. 406 00:19:04,932 --> 00:19:08,642 Now, nature is full of change. Sometimes that change is good. 407 00:19:08,644 --> 00:19:10,776 A caterpillar goes into a slimy cocoon 408 00:19:10,778 --> 00:19:12,596 and emerges a gorgeous butterfly. 409 00:19:12,598 --> 00:19:15,649 On the other hand, some change is, well, hard. 410 00:19:15,651 --> 00:19:18,778 When a bear cub says goodbye to the cave, 411 00:19:18,780 --> 00:19:21,136 he leaves behind two very sad bear parents 412 00:19:21,138 --> 00:19:23,013 who feel like they have nothing left in life, 413 00:19:23,015 --> 00:19:25,267 except selling toilet paper... 414 00:19:25,269 --> 00:19:27,086 and mauling campers. 415 00:19:28,764 --> 00:19:31,277 But there's two ways of looking at change. 416 00:19:31,279 --> 00:19:33,902 You can either focus on what you're losing, 417 00:19:33,904 --> 00:19:36,430 or celebrate what you're gaining. 418 00:19:38,065 --> 00:19:41,008 To quote the novelist Hermann Hesse, 419 00:19:41,010 --> 00:19:43,668 "Some of us think holding on makes us strong, 420 00:19:43,670 --> 00:19:46,497 but sometimes it is letting go". 421 00:19:46,499 --> 00:19:51,485 Great advice for life, bad advice if you're rock climbing. 422 00:19:55,216 --> 00:19:58,801 My advice for dealing with change? Take baby steps. 423 00:19:58,803 --> 00:20:01,321 Like, maybe you used to go camping with your family 424 00:20:01,323 --> 00:20:02,938 in a 200-square-foot tent. 425 00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:05,557 Then the kids moved out, and now when you go camping, 426 00:20:05,559 --> 00:20:07,584 you and your old lady feel like 427 00:20:07,586 --> 00:20:09,653 the last two people at a circus. 428 00:20:09,655 --> 00:20:11,788 That's why this month at Outdoor Man, 429 00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:16,389 we're inviting you empty nesters to trade in your old family tent 430 00:20:16,391 --> 00:20:19,498 for a discount on our new, cozy, two-person tent. 431 00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:22,040 Insulated, easy setup, water-resistant. 432 00:20:22,042 --> 00:20:24,973 Now, the only thing it can't do is protect you from those bears. 433 00:20:24,975 --> 00:20:27,271 But don't worry, they probably just want to show you photos 434 00:20:27,273 --> 00:20:28,880 of their cubs and grand-cubs. 435 00:20:28,882 --> 00:20:31,356 And then they're gonna maul you. 436 00:20:31,358 --> 00:20:32,416 Baxter out. 437 00:20:37,411 --> 00:20:39,600 Okay, these two guys are at the beach, right? 438 00:20:39,602 --> 00:20:42,362 Santa Monica Pier, they're sitting there, and one guy tells 439 00:20:42,364 --> 00:20:44,331 the other guy, "You know, women never pay attention to me. 440 00:20:44,333 --> 00:20:45,856 You always get attention from women. 441 00:20:45,858 --> 00:20:47,231 Is there any trick I can do?" 442 00:20:47,233 --> 00:20:49,844 The guy says, "It's a trick I don't usually tell many people. 443 00:20:49,846 --> 00:20:51,302 Here's what I want you to do. 444 00:20:51,304 --> 00:20:53,763 Get a potato, put it in your bathing suit". 445 00:20:53,765 --> 00:20:55,906 The guy says, "What?" "Don't ask questions, 446 00:20:55,908 --> 00:20:57,334 just do as I say". 447 00:20:57,336 --> 00:20:59,150 And then the guy, you know, he finds a potato, 448 00:20:59,152 --> 00:21:01,587 puts it in his bathing suit, goes out on the beach. 449 00:21:01,589 --> 00:21:03,581 He comes back probably 15 minutes later. 450 00:21:03,583 --> 00:21:05,258 And he's-he's livid. 451 00:21:05,260 --> 00:21:07,823 He goes, "You told me to put a potato in my bathing suit 452 00:21:07,825 --> 00:21:09,169 and the lifeguard kicked me out. 453 00:21:09,171 --> 00:21:11,397 Women were screaming, children were running from me". 454 00:21:12,909 --> 00:21:14,925 And the guy that told him that says, 455 00:21:14,927 --> 00:21:17,511 "You put the potato in the front". 456 00:21:25,104 --> 00:21:27,955 So what should have made the man appear well-endowed, 457 00:21:27,957 --> 00:21:31,100 in fact made it look like he soiled himself. 458 00:21:33,429 --> 00:21:36,356 - Uh, yeah, that's-that's the joke. - Yeah. 459 00:21:40,195 --> 00:21:42,403 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 35082

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