Original subtitles

[theme music]

-I'll call it destructotainment.

Robot gladiators for the discerning lovers

of a bit of mayhem.

And the panthers, I got them paying hand

over fist for video uplinks of my robot's

going at it in the ring.

So what if half if the tech I'm using

is prohibited, and by the department, no less?

Laws, they're for the little people.

-Right. Yeah.

Not like you and me, Freddie.

-That's right son.

So, uh, you work for Professor Gryffen?

-I used to.

But the stuck-up old geezer treated me

like dirt, so I quit.

-Yeah, I've heard that he's a bit full of himself.

But you've got to admire a man's genius.

There's not one robot in my stable

doesn't carry a bit of his legacy.

But to business, what you got for me?

-Just a little something I managed to take with me when

I parted company with the professor.

-[chuckling] -Are you, are you interested?

-Kid, you got a deal.

-Deal.

-Ah, easy.

DARIUS: Oh, sorry.

Freddie Maxwell, aka Freddie the Entertainer.

Two-bit hustler and, according to my contacts,

the mastermind behind crash club.

-Crash club?

-Old robots teched up, and forced to fight it out

in an arena for the entertainment of rich toffs.

-Good work, Darius.

At last I can put a face to the man who's

made a mockery of my thought matrix.

-Thought matrix?

-Something I developed years ago.

It's a revolutionary robotic brain that allows a robot

to think for itself, rather than to be programmed.

-You call that revolutionary?

I teach myself new things all the time.

PROFESSOR GRYFFEN: Such sophistication

may be the norm for the future.

But the time I'm talking about, robots

were little more than windup toys.

-As we all know, they've already moved on from that.

-Yeah, thanks to the prof.

-And they would have moved on even further, if the department

hadn't confiscated my technology for their own use.

JORJIE: Well, if this lowlife's using banned technology,

why don't we just stick the department on him.

-Oh, I've already tried that.

But according to your mother, the department

has bigger fish to fry.

-Seafood preparation is a department priority?

-It's a saying.

-I worked long and hard on this technology.

And I did it for the betterment of humanity,

not to facilitate this revolting entertainment.

-Well, I say we do something about it.

-What have you got in mind?

-How about, guys?

We up for a bit of undercover work?

-Undercover?

-Yes, undercover.

-Think of it as a holiday.

-Yeah, a cheap one to a slave camp.

K9: I'm not talking to you, you traitor, haggling over me

with that crook like I was an old fridge at the flea market.

-Don't be such a baby.

It was all part of the plan.

-He's right, K9.

Darius has to get chummy with Freddy

if we're going to find out where he gets his legal tech.

-Yeah.

And, you know, selling you at bargain basement

definitely made me his pal.

K9: I'm acquainted with the plan.

I still remain uncertain how you talked me into this.

-Because there's no other way.

We need actual evidence on Freddy

if Jorjie's mom is going to take any action.

-Yeah, doing the department's job for them, in other words.

-Shh.

-What is it? -Showtime.

-Oh, hello.

Hey, come on.

Refueling's almost over. Look, Boris.

We got a pup.

-I am not a pup.

Refueling?

Ah, excuse me, but I think there's

been some kind of mistake.

I'm supposed to be delivered to the gladiator pens.

-Well, this is it.

-Right.

And exactly where are the gladiators.

[honking]

-Oh, you could be onto something there, Boris.

It makes sense that a robot dog is

not going to be all that smart.

-Excuse me?

-It's OK, pup.

The gladiators are right here.

This is Boris, and I'm Chuckles.

K9: You are the gladiators?

But you're just a couple of clowns.

-Oh, how did you guess that?

-A wild guess.

-And a pretty good one.

Boris and me did used to be clowns.

But no point talking about what once was.

Freddie owns all of us now, which means we're gladiators,

like it or not.

Same goes for you, pup.

The sooner you learn to accept that-- what's that?

-Champion, captain?

-Him?

-Pain Maker.

Trust me, pup.

If you value that little chassis of yours,

you'll steer clear of that one.

-Are you receiving this?

-We are, K9.

-[yelling]

-See, look at the tech on that.

That's no patch up on some secondhand rust bucket.

-That thing's built for combat.

-[roaring]

-K9 would deal with him without raising a sweat.

-That's one scary unit.

-Hey, it looks like we're going to be bunk-mates, pup.

Exciting, huh?

-Thrilling. -Come.

I'll show you around.

-Around what? -Here.

This is a wall.

And this is another wall.

Oh, and this, too is a wall.

-Hope you're receiving this.

K9.

-Now this is a very special wall.

It has bars and a--

[alarm]

Uh-oh.

-Time to get yourself into gear, [inaudible] dead in the pit.

-The pit?

Starkey, what are you doing here?

-Darius talked me up as some kind of kid robotic genius.

Freddy hired me on the spot.

Figured you could do with some backup.

-Completely unnecessary.

But thank you.

How is the plan progressing?

-Darius is in Freddie's office right now.

The minute he scopes out how Freddy's getting his hands

on this illegal tech, we're out of here.

-Think you could speed it up?

-I thought you'd be enjoying the chance

to get to know your ancestors.

-How would you like a few hours locked up

with some chimpanzees?

I can calculate the age of the universe to 98% accuracy.

They struggle to avoid bumping into the furniture.

-Yeah, but somewhere long ago there

must have been a K9 who bumped into furniture, too.

These guys are you past.

-I now understand what they mean by the dim past.

-Snooty about your ancestors, it's not a good look.

-Snooty?

-I don't know how you do it.

You swap in tech from the department,

run this place under their nose.

Beats me how you keep a lid on it.

I mean, how do you keep it all secret?

-Lesson number-- what are we up to?

-16.

-Lesson number 16.

Always be prepared for a swift departure if needed.

Keep all records of illegal activity close and portable.

-How close?

-That, my son, is for another lesson.

Right now, I've got tonight's show to organize.

[releasing air squeakily]

-Why does he keep doing that, repeating

the same action over and over?

It's so illogical.

-It seems perfectly logical to me.

-And what do you know about logic?

-Well, I know balloons used to be his act at the circus.

Kids loved it.

And I know clowns should be clowns, and not gladiators.

I know that I want to go home.

K9: To the circus?

-Yeah, where Boris and me can be what we were designed to be.

Boris, [inaudible].

-Wait.

Where are you taking him?

-Showtime.

Now keep it down, you mooks. -Showtime?

-So, yeah, Boris, he's, uh, he's one of my best.

He's a real contender.

He should give your boy quite a, a run.

[chuckling] Ah.

[honking]

-I still say it should have been the robot dog fighting.

You wouldn't rather see the robot dog fight?

No?

No.

Yah. Right.

Right here, right now is Crash Club!

Let's get ready for mayhem.

It's fight time.

[honking]

-Ah, ooh, ah, nah.

It's not quite the match up I anticipated.

But I still say it should have been the robot dog.

I mean, why get me to purchase him,

if you don't want to see him fight?

-Oh, never fear.

K9's turn will come.

-I'm sorry, K9.

-Who did this?

-It was Pain Maker.

I told you, pup.

The champ's not like the rest of us.

He was built for fighting.

-But it's time Freddie and this Pain Maker of his learn

what I was built for.

-K9, wait.

Remember the plan?

-I'm changing it.

-Use your head.

We want to shut Freddie down for good.

Even with all your powers, you can't arrest him.

-I could give him a good zapping.

-You can do that?

STARKEY: No, he can't.

Besides, even if you could, the second it wore off,

Freddie would just be back to business as usual.

K9, you just need to keep up the act a little while longer.

Remember, now, Darius is going to find

the evidence we need to shut him down.

-I quit.

You can't.

The whole plan relies on you.

-Well, then we need a new plan.

Because no amount of sucking up to Freddie is going to

score me any alone time to search his office.

-There's got to some way we can get him out of there.

-Yeah, well none that I can see.

-I don't think K9's going to stay

undercover for much longer.

-Darius, think.

You've spent time with the man.

What are his weaknesses?

How can we exploit him?

-He loves peanuts.

-Try harder.

Think again.

-And money, he definitely loves money.

-Money, so we threaten his finances.

That ought to shake him up enough

to get him out of the office.

DARIUS: Yeah, I guess. But how, exactly.

-I've got an idea.

But we're going to need one more undercover operative.

-What?

No, no way.

Oh.

This so isn't going to work.

-Of course it is.

Just channel your mom.

PROFESSOR GRYFFEN: And when you're talking to him,

just keep the details vague.

And remember what I told you.

If you believe it, you are it.

-And if he does suss you, then just lose the heels,

and make a run for it.

-[sigh] Most comforting.

[knocking]

FREDDIE: Whatever you're selling,

love, see my secretary.

I've got a fight to organize.

-Caroline Fincher-Jones of His Majesty's revenue and customs.

-The tax man?

-Tax person.

-You look very young to be a tax person.

-Compliments?

Are you attempting to unduly influence me?

-No, that wasn't a compliment, my darling.

I have never paid a compliment in my life.

-Very well.

Now would I be right in assuming this is your office?

-What, this?

Nah.

I'm just looking after it for a friend.

-So that's not your name on the door?

Mr. Maxwell, are you currently engaged

in a commercial enterprise?

-Yeah, well, it's kind of more of a hobby, really.

-And you have BAT returns to support this claim?

--[chuckling] Don't you mean the VAT returns?

-Yes.

Exactly.

Those as well.

In fact, we'll start with those.

You have receipts?

-I might have, if I bothered looking.

-Perhaps if I was to call in some of my colleagues,

we could start by going through all your electronic records.

-Receipts, of course I've got receipts.

Hang on a minute, darling.

Make yourself comfortable.

I'll be back in a minute.

-Oh.

-That was amazing.

-Come on.

-I've got a feeling he's going to be

pretty fast finding those receipts.

-Are you sure about this, K9?

-The robot clown insisted I look the part.

-I mean taking on Pain Maker.

It's not necessary.

Once Freddie goes down, Pain Maker will go with him.

-I can not risk him fighting Chuckles before that happens.

I must protect my new friend.

-But I'm trying to protect my friend.

K9: You're worried about me against that neanderthal bully?

-You never know.

He might land a lucky punch.

-Thank you for your concern, young master.

But the only thing that [inaudible]

is my photon beam, after which he'll

be beating up no more of his fellow robots.

-Any time you'd like to join in. -Wait, wait.

There's only one place a criminal like Freddie

would think to hide something.

And that's the one place he'd never think to look himself.

Because if he'd never think to look there,

then no one else in their right mind

would think to look there either.

-I found it.

-See, exactly.

I told you.

-Did you find anything?

-I think this is it.

I'm about to upload it to Gryffen.

FREDDIE: Hello, Mr. T.

-Ah, someone's coming.

-That tax woman has put a wind up me good and proper.

She's trouble, I tell you.

-Really?

What exactly is her name?

-Fincher-Jones, Caroline Fincher-Jones.

-You're sure it's not Turner, Jorjie Turner?

She has a friend.

-You don't say.

-Named Darius Pike.

Here they are now, and Starkey as well, the full set.

-You knew we were here.

THORNE: Of course I did.

I've known everything you've been

up to over the last couple of days.

It's called setting a trap.

-A trap?

FREDDIE: Freddie here is no genius.

But do you really he'd buy you as a tax inspector,

or you as a robotics expert?

You as a dodgy hustler, that's another matter.

-Mr. T here prevailed on me to go along with your little scam.

THORNE: Freddie's entertainment, being rather

on the illegal side, he was hardly in a position to argue.

-So you're working with a known criminal, who's

using technology that's specifically

banned by the department.

-Correct. Showtime.

-Right here, right now is Crash Club.

Let's get ready for mayhem.

He'll make you bark.

He'll make you yell.

So give it up for the hound from [inaudible].

-I am not a hound.

FREDDIE: And his opponent tonight,

our undefeated champion, the Pain Maker.

-I don't want to disappoint you, or anything.

But you're going to have to lose that undefeated tag.

-Yeah.

K9 will smash his bullying butt.

-I hope so.

-What's this all about?

-Of the many remarkable things about the K9 unit,

perhaps the most remarkable is his ability

to regenerate himself.

-How did you know about that?

-The point is, this is a tremendously valuable

technology, one the department would greatly benefit from.

-Yeah, well, he's hardly likely to just hand that over to you.

THORNE: I'm well aware of that.

So I needed to find another way to secure it.

The simplest way they seemed to be

to cause K9 to have to regenerate

his living metal frame.

-You' have to destroy him to do that.

-Correct.

-You think that pumped up cyber cop of yours

is going to destroy K9?

-Not normally.

However, I've arranged for him to be

a little more pumped up than normal.

He's loaded to the back teeth with solamite.

-The explosive?

-That thing's a bomb?

-This is insane.

That much solamite will blow up this whole building.

-I've taken the precaution of having that bunker reinforced.

But one photon shot from K9, and everything inside that bunker

will be destroyed-- except for his regeneration tank.

-K9 will sense it's a bomb.

He won't fire.

-If he stands for it.

But this is the bully that destroyed his friend.

And you know how he feels about his friends.

I think he may just shoot first.

-You just made this even more personal.

-He's going to fire.

-No, K9!

-Alas, he can't hear you.

-It's fight time.

-This is all for entertainment?

It's nothing but mindless violence.

-What's he doing?

-I will not fight you.

I will not fight.

STARKEY: You never

that K9 would be too decent to act the way you would.

-This is not good for business, Mr. T.

-I want that technology.

Initiate self-destruct sequence.

-K9, get out of there-- -Solamite?

-Get down there.

Collect anything that's left.

-You monster.

-A monster with access to regeneration technology.

-News of my regeneration has been greatly exaggerated.

-K9!

-K9, you're safe!

-Of course.

Solamite would have caused damage to this unit.

The only explosive force capable of destroying me

is my own self-destruct function.

-Your plan was never going to work.

-Didn't know not quite as much as you thought you did.

FREDDIE: Bad luck, Mr. T. Still, when can we

get together, talk about my new arena?

Where are you going?

-Going?

I was never here.

-We had a deal.

-I think he's terminating that deal, Freddie.

-What about my business?

JORJIE: You're going to have to find something new,

once you get out of prison.

FREDDIE: Where'd you find that?

That was hidden under my peanuts.

-That's where you hid your business data?

-Oh, I never thought anyone would look under my peanuts,

did I?

-Told you.

-Mr. T. Mr. T.

-Uh, peanuts anyone?

-No, thank you.

-Well, there doesn't appear to be

any damage from the explosion.

JORJIE: No thanks to Thorne.

-Who also knows about K9's regeneration capabilities.

-Yeah, I can't figure out how.

-He regenerated when he first came through the STM.

-The only people here were us. -Exactly.

So how could Thorne possibly know about it?

-Thorne must have sources of information, which

go beyond what we know about him.

PROFESSOR GRYFFEN: He must have.

However he knows about it, he's willing to go to any lengths

to get it.

-This unit will be more vigilant than ever

especially where potentially exploding

gladiator cyborgs are concerned.

-We'll see that you are.

[phone beeping]

-Uh, call for you.

K9: For me?

-I'll put it across to the vid screen.

-Hey, K9, it's me, your old pal Chuckles, from the Crash Club.

-This unit does remember as far back as earlier today.

I just wanted to make sure that you're OK, pup.

-I'm not a pup!

Yes, I'm fine.

-I also wanted to let you know-- [chuckling]

K9: Boris, they repaired you.

-It's Boris, from the Crash Club.

-Are you receiving this?

-K9.

-I keep telling you I can remember.

-K9.

-And you have a new pink thing.

-Wasn't much left of the old one.

[honk]

-And a new honker.

-Anyway, just wanted to let you know,

we're going back to the circus.

It would never have happened if Crash Club hadn't closed down.

You did that, pup, you and your friends.

We wanted to say thank you.

-You're both welcome.

You're a very good dog.

-Thank you.

However, I am not a dog.

This unit is a cybernetic construction

containing quantum consciousness.

I am capable of [muffled]

-K9.

-I hadn't finished.

-You're certain no evidence exists connecting this Crash

Club enterprise to the department?

-None.

Freddie will take the entire fall.

-Good.

However, the K9 unit is now aware of our interest

in his regeneration technology.

That will make the acquisition harder.

-But not impossible.

We will have it.

Our plans will go forward.

-I'll leave it with you then.

Use all the powers at your disposal.

-I intend to.

[music playing]