Original subtitles

[theme music]

[music playing]

-Here once stood the Major Oak, fabled sanctuary to the outlaw

Robin Hood and his band of Merry Men.

-Well, he wouldn't be merry anymore.

-As a little kid, I actually believed

I'd marry him when I grew up.

-Well, he's long gone now, just like this tree.

-Not so fast, lad.

I'm still here, and so is the Major Oak.

It lives on in its new home.

Robin Hood, at your service.

Welcome to Sherwood Forest.

-You should be shorter.

-Gadzooks!

What sorcery is this?

-For the record, I think you're the perfect height.

Wait, you know Robin Hood?

I mean, the real one?

-Wander through space and time long enough

and you meet all sorts.

And in his day, people were shorter.

-But I am the real Robin Hood.

-I just have to ask, why the tights?

-Look, it was the fashion at the time.

It was chilly.

-Confirmed.

Britain was, on average, three degrees colder

in the Middle Ages.

-Aye, but pollution has changed all that.

The proud oaks and the beautiful silver birches of the England

of yore are all cut down or died out--

died out-- died out-- died out--

-Warning, alien threat detection.

VOICE: [ON LOUDSPEAKER] Would all patrons

please proceed to the nearest exit.

[alarm]

-What's going on?

-Inspector, communications are jamming.

-Not possible.

We control all the communications in London,

and we aren't jamming our own signals.

-There's magnetic interference, signals of alien origin.

-Which sector?

-Sector SE 14 delta.

-Can we manage a patch into the nearest CCPC in that area?

-Roger that.

Receiving vision from CCPC officer in three, two one--

-What the-- Driver, proceed directly to the London Museum,

and fast.

-What are my orders?

What are my orders?

-No, we haven't misplaced it.

For the love of Darwin, it's a 15 meter tall tree.

It's been stolen.

-Alien species, unidentified.

Course of action, investigate.

-Come on.

-Where?

-Attention to all [inaudible]

-I am not a suspect.

-Robin Hood's tree--

-The Great Oak, it's gone.

-I'm detecting abnormal levels of magnetic interference.

Oh, and Jorjie's mother.

-Mom--

-Come on [inaudible], Turner J-943 sigma.

What's going on here?

-The Great Oak has been stolen, and your CCPCs

think I'm a suspect.

-I believe the suspect is not the museum curator,

but of alien origin.

STARKEY: What is this stuff?

JORJIE: It's hard as rock.

DARIUS: K9, this looks alien to me.

-Scanning.

Substance is unknown.

Further examination required.

Please step back.

Acquiring sample.

[music playing]

Sample acquired. -Got it.

Come on, we're not here.

REPORTER [ON TV]: There's been public outcry

over what many are calling the crime of the century.

It has [inaudible] reeling.

These criminals have stolen a piece

of our collective childhood.

Robin Hood, Little John-- STARKEY: Gryffen--

REPORTER [ON TV]: Friar Tuck, it's enough to make--

STARKEY: Gryffen-- REPORTER [ON TV]: You weep.

-Any mail?

-No.

-Are you sure.

-Yes, but we did get this though, from the museum.

-Well, well, well--

-The sample is emitting a high pitch frequency.

-What have we here? -Come on, boy.

-This unit is not a boy.

[music playing]

-Just what are you doing?

-Orders from LOMAXX.

This animal's been classed an A-level threat.

Which means it's time to let the big boys play.

Step aside, Turner.

-This is not your jurisdiction.

[music playing]

-Interfacing now.

Sample generating electromagnetic interference.

[whoosh]

Professor!

-Hawking's ghost, what was that?

-That must be what sent the fuzz bots' optics loopy

at the museum.

-Then, why weren't you affected?

-Unlike the antiquated robots of your time,

my electromagnetic fielding is impenetrable.

-Do you know if, um, the museum is offering a reward?

-Don't you think about anything else?

-Uh, Darius, my invites to the annual Bondecker

Awards for scientific excellence,

did the post office have it?

-Sorry, Prof.

-Don't tell me you're actually thinking of leaving the house?

-Don't be absurd.

Every year, my genius warrants an invite.

And every year, I don't show up.

It's tradition.

-Well, maybe the postman lost it.

-Oh.

-Hey, hey-- hey, stealing Royal Mail is an offense, you know.

[music playing]

[scream]

-That's interesting.

Hydrocarbon cellulose, printer's ink, and it's paper mache.

DARIUS: Paper mache?

-Fascinating, isn't it?

-Whatever life form we're dealing with here

has added something, altering its atomic structure.

-But why did they choose this tree?

-Many species only target one form of vegetation.

Given what this one can do with recycled paper,

I'd hate to see what it could do with vintage quality hardwood.

-I suggest we return to the scene of the crime

so that I can sniff-- that is scan-- for any trail

that they may have left behind.

-But the museum's got to be crawling with Department goons

by now.

-But we don't have to go back there.

We know where to find the thieves.

Straight down.

[music playing] -Tracking.

-Seriously, the museum better be coughing up

a reward for this stupid tree.

Not to mention some free dry cleaning.

-Some things are more important than money.

STARKEY: Yeah, right.

Should we all be like Robin Hood, stealing from the rich

to give to the poor?

Where did that get him?

JORJIE: A place in history.

-K9, K9, is everything all right?

K9: All systems normal.

Just a spike in electromagnetic interference.

Ah, contact.

-I see it, K9, oak leaves. Wait--

-Gryffen, I could do with your input.

The thieves left behind an unidentified substance.

It's got my lab techs stumped.

-That's because they're slow witted.

I've already obtained a sample and unravelled its mysteries.

-K9?

-Well, yes.

-Look, until we get the ransom demands,

analyzing that stuff is our only clue.

-Ransom demands?

These creatures aren't looking to trade.

They've already got what they came for.

-Send me everything you have.

-Seems you couldn't see the forest for all the trees.

That's quite a misstep, Turner.

K9: Are you seeing this, Gryffen?

-Oh, yes.

Where did that come from?

Someone's clearly been making themselves at home.

-OK, now I'm really starting to get creeped out.

-Just try not to trip yourself up when you run away.

-Ju-- be nice.

-Hey, Jorjie--

[music playing]

Guys?

Guys?

[music playing]

-K9, is everything OK?

Um, K9, you seem to be confused.

-No problem, Professor.

I'm sure it's this way.

GRYFFEN: K9, I'm losing visuals.

-I'm experiencing 86% electromagnetic interference.

GRYFFEN: Is it the same interference created

by the sample from the museum?

-Affirmative, it seems to be.

GRYFFEN: K9, K-- are you hearing me?

DARIUS: What's he doing?

[music playing]

-Oh, great.

First the little mutt gets us lost,

and now he's totally lost it.

-The electromagnetic interference is getting worse.

-Ah, another great-- we've lost dork reality.

-Starkey--

[music playing]

-K9?

Jorjie? Darius?

[music playing]

[growl]

[scuttle]

-Get a grip, Starkey.

How old is this thing?

[music playing]

[bang]

-What was that?

-Starkey?

[music playing]

-I'm pretty sure we're going in circles.

-K9, are you sure this is the right way?

K9: Certainly.

-K9, the video link is going haywire.

You sure everything's all right at your end?

K9: Affirmative.

[music playing]

DARIUS: Let's get moving.

-All right, K9 is confused.

Something is tampering with his circuit.

So What did he say?

The sample was emitting a high pitched frequency,

like a dog whistle.

K9, K9, do you read me?

It's a distress signal.

K9-- oh, come on.

It's trying to talk to you.

[music playing]

-Hello?

You're so going to cop it once Jorjie finds out

what you've done to Robin Hood's tree.

-Psst, oy, kid.

This Jorjie of yours doesn't happen

to be a super soldier with a couple of bazookas, does he?

-Uh, no, but she is fairly tough for a 14-year-old girl.

-Pity, I guess we're toast then.

[crying]

-I'm Patrick, by the way.

-Pat, like Postman Pat?

-Pat-rick.

What's that?

What are you doing?

[squeal]

-What have you done?

[growl]

[music playing]

-You weren't supposed to hear that.

[screech]

-K9, Starkey, do you read me?

-Professor, the magnetic interference has weakened.

-K9, it's a distress signal.

-It seems the magnetic signal that

has been disrupting this unit now

matches the pitch of a dog whistle.

-K9, you know I need it explained a little bit easier.

And I'm wearing a sword, so can you hurry it up a bit.

-It means, that's why he's been confused.

He's been following an alien distress signal.

-Like the dog whistle.

-Distress signal or not, I shall treat it as hostile

until the young master is safe.

[music playing]

-I think it's letting us go.

[grunts]

-Eggs.

[growl]

[screech]

-I'm here, young master.

STARKEY: K9--

JORJIE: Starkey--

[music playing]

-Preparing to neutralize.

STARKEY: Eggs, of course.

K9, wait.

Take a look at where we are.

The ground-- look, eggs.

She's a mother.

K9: Processing environment.

-K9, can't you see?

We're in a hatchery. -Starkey--

-Just trust me, K9.

See, she doesn't want to attack us.

And she certainly doesn't want to eat us.

She's just trying to protect her babies.

-K9, Starkey's right.

Don't attack the centurapede.

She won't harm you.

She's here to build a pod to transport her eggs.

-An interstellar baby carriage?

-Woh, a spaceship made out of wood and centipede spit.

-But not just any wood.

She needed oak pulp specifically.

Don't you see?

These creatures could well have been

coming to secretly nest in our forests for thousands of years.

-But, uh, there are no more oak forests.

-Then, this may very well be the last time

we witness the spawning of the centurapede on planet Earth.

-Gryffen, it's June.

The situation has changed.

-I'll say, by a giant insect from space.

The magnetic interference was a distress signal.

I think we found a way to communicate with the alien.

-Forget the alien.

It's history.

K9 too, if Drake catches him down there.

-Oh, fig.

[music playing]

-So it didn't come from Mars to read other people's mail.

-No, he just needed some paper so he

could make this electromagnetic gunk and nick a tree.

GRYFFEN: I'm afraid we've got bigger problems.

-The Department?

-One of their worst.

He's locked onto your heat signatures

and is heading straight for you.

-Let's say we call it a day.

-Darius--

-There's no way we can let that happen.

K9, I though you said your electromagnetic shielding

was impenetrable.

-Affirmative.

Yes--

-Look, the Professor said this creep's tracking a signal.

Can you mask it?

-Masking now.

-Fine, you jokers want to play?

Let's play.

[beeps]

Here we go.

[beeps]

-Danger, danger.

[music playing]

-That's flash vapor.

When the countdown reaches zero, it will blow.

-Evacuate, time to go.

-Well, consider us gone then.

DARIUS: Jorjie, Starkey--

-Sorry sweetheart, your boyfriend's right.

-Wait, let go of me.

He's not my boyfriend.

Put me down. -That means you too, Starkey.

Come on.

[inaudible]

JORJIE: How dare you?

-This isn't right.

They're a family.

-Starkey, you have to go.

I will try to keep the gas out, but there's

no guarantees it will buy the creature enough time.

-Then I'll make time.

-Initiating photon spread.

I'll hold back the vapor as long as I can.

Hurry, young master.

[music playing]

[cough]

-Families should be together.

[cough]

-Still holding, young master.

[music playing]

[beeps]

[music playing]

-Hurry, Starkey.

My power supply is depleting.

Power supply at 26%.

[music playing]

[beeps]

-Can't hold.

Using maximum power available.

[music playing]

-That hallway.

[music playing]

-Go, go, go.

-Leave it to me, girlie.

[music playing] -Post bag?

Jackpot.

[music playing]

Sweet.

The Prof's invite.

Looks like reward time.

[beeps]

-Where are they?

[music playing]

[cough]

-We've done it.

-Can't hold power much longer.

[music playing]

[screech] -No!

[music playing]

-System failure, energy banks depleted.

[music playing]

[cough]

-Where are they?

[music playing]

[beeps]

[gasp]

-They're still in there.

-They couldn't have survived that.

PATRICK: Woh, up in the sky.

[music playing]

JORJIE: It's so beautiful.

[music playing]

JORJIE: Starkey's gone.

-The metal mutt too.

STARKEY: Beautiful, wasn't she?

[gasp]

-Starkey!

-They gave us a lift.

-And don't forget the gift she gave you in appreciation.

-And these.

-Where did they come from?

-She had them stashed in her nest,

from way back in Robin Hood's day.

It's the best gift ever.

-Hey, hey, Professor, are you in there?

Check it out.

You got mail.

-The Bondecker Awards invite, outstanding.

I can't wait not to go.

-Yeah, but first, let's discuss my finder's fee.

-Oy, give that back.

You can't sell people their own mail.

Huh.

-Right.

PATRICK: Boy, hey.

Boy, come back.

Come back here.

-Not much of a family, but it'll have to do ya.

-Yes, it will, young master.

[laugh]

[music playing]

[theme music]