Original subtitles

(eerie music)

(dark music)

(car engine rumbles)

(brakes squeal)

DAVID: Ellie!

(Ellie starts, gasps)

What the hell?

There are pictures all over the internet

of Security dragging you out of the office.

What happened?

� They wanted to change Pooka.

And I can't have that.

(snip, sigh)

They just don't understand.

You can't improve perfection.

[in high�pitched voice] POOKA DOLL: Perfection!

DAVID: Well, that's just great.

That's just fucking great.

Go and get yourself fired

because they changed your stupid toy?

[in deep voice] POOKA DOLL: Stupid toy.

� Why are you even working on that thing?

� They can't make Pooka without me.

Pooka and I are one.

(he grunts exasperatedly)

No! No, no, don't hurt him!

No, no, no, it's okay, it's okay,

you didn't do anything wrong.

You didn't do anything wrong.

He just doesn't understand.

POOKA DOLL: Understand.

� Are you for real?

Now, you have officially lost your mind.

You have gone insane!

I am so done.

POOKA DOLL: Done.

� All right.

[through gritted teeth] That is it!

(exclaims as fabric tears)

ELLIE: No!

� I am gonna fucking murder all of these things!

(Pooka dolls repeat "Murder!")

� Shut up!

Shut up!

Shut up.

Shut up!

[in a shout] Shut up!

Shut up!

(Pooka dolls continue to repeat "Murder!")

[desperately] Shut up!

ELLIE: Shut up!

(plunging stab, gasp)

(eerie music)

(clattering thud)

(raspy breathing)

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Shut up! Shut up!

("Shut up!" and slicing stabs continue)

(maniacal chuckling)

(liquid trickling)

(Ellie humming)

You'll never know what Pooka will do

(flick of lighter cap)

(flames roar)

(dramatic music)

(notifications pinging)

(notifications pinging)

(notifications pinging)

(distant dog barks)

MOLLY: Derrick!

Hey, you made it!

� Hey, Molly.

MOLLY: Oh! This is gonna be awesome!

MATT: Big city man back in Spring Valley.

Come on, what?

� We got your room all set up,

but it's no fancy New York apartment,

I'm sorry. � Yeah, we won't charge

that much rent. � Oh, he's kidding.

Can you go get his bags, Matt?

� Yep. � Good. Come on.

DERRICK: Really glad you guys let me stay here.

MOLLY: Oh no, we're thrilled, especially Matt.

� How much did you pack, man?

(vocalist) Pooka see, Pooka do

Pooka me, Pooka you

You never know what Pooka will do

Pooka loves, Pooka fights, Pooka laughs

DERRICK: I see you still have a thing for crystals.

� Huh! These are just the ones I let her keep in the house.

� Let me?

I'm sorry for trying to balance the energies

of our living space. � All right.

� Hey, Lauren, we're gonna go eat now.

LAUREN: Okay, Mom.

� Make sure to pay attention to Becky, okay?

� You got it, Mrs. C.

Whoa!

Hey, aren't you that guy that like��

(Matt interjects with "cool it" utterances)

� Bye, Mom; bye, Dad...

and stranger.

(all chuckle)

MOLLY: Hey, baby?

This is Derrick.

He's my friend from when I was your age.

DERRICK: Hi, kiddo.

� (phone's camera clicks photo) MOLLY: He's gonna be staying

with us for a few months,

just until things, like, blow over.

� He doesn't look like he shot himself in the foot.

(Matt laughs nervously)

� Okay!

Hey, Becky, remember to check her closet,

or else you're never gonna get her to sleep.

� Right. � Bye, kiddo.

� Wait, you didn't say bye to Jenni!

MOLLY: Oh, I'm sorry.

Bye�bye, Jenni!

� That's an imaginary friend.

I don't get it.

� It figures Molly's kid would have an imaginary friend.

� Right. � What?

� So, where are we going?

(bluesy rock music)

(laughter, chatter)

Wow. This place has not changed at all

since we were kids.

MATT: Yeah. That's why we like it.

It's consistent and reliable.

� Somebody report a stolen car?

DERRICK: Bennie, holy shit!

What happened to you?

BENNIE: Aww!

What do you mean, what happened to me?

� You lost, like a whole person here!

You look good! BENNIE: Oh, thank you, man.

Well, it's a lot of CrossFit.

Gotta stay competitive when you're one of only

five gay people in a 50�mile radius.

So what brings you back home, man?

We never thought we'd see you again back here

after you left town.

� I wouldn't call it home, exactly, but, uh...

I just needed a little break

from New York, and Matt and Molly graciously

decided to put up with me.

(Molly scoffs)

� Now, what are you talking about?

We have been trying to get you to come back for years.

He even got a job at SCI.

MATT: Yeah. Remember when we thought

that English degree would never amount to anything?

Now he's working for Pooka!

You get to write about Pooka!

(Derrick chuckles ruefully)

BENNIE: Hey, you know who else works at SCI?

� Hm.

� Susan.

� Susan!

(he laughs pointedly)

Thanks for the heads�up, Moll.

Yeah, we broke up, like, a decade ago.

I'm pretty sure she moved on.

MATT: Yeah, but Derrick, though, real talk, she has aged so well.

MOLLY: Oh my God, Matt, what��

� No, I mean, and so have you!

We have all aged very well. � Matt, good luck with that.

Hey, but seriously, is that your black sedan out front?

It's been reported stolen.

I ran the plates and it's registered under your name

so I'm gonna assume you didn't steal your own car?

DERRICK: Yeah, probably someone from my, um,

online fan club.

BENNIE: Huh, that's a weird thing for a fan to do.

Listen, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to

bring you down to the station tomorrow and sort it out.

� Yeah, no problem.

� Uh, I gotta get back on patrol,

but can we all hang out tomorrow?

It'll be like the old times. MOLLY: Yeah, yeah.

Come by the house around 7:00, huh?

� All right.

Gimme an excuse to get dolled�up.

Bye.

� He has no idea how good he looks, does he?

� Completely oblivious. � Got it.

� Mm�hm! Round two.

(Matt grunts)

� So how are you guys doing?

� Uh, we're okay.

Matt's still working at the car dealership

and still watches nothing but football.

I still have the boutique.

Yeah, same old, same old.

It's all very fine.

� Very Spring Valley, you mean.

MOLLY: Honestly, I'm really glad you're here.

I needed a change too.

MATT: Hey, Molls, we gotta go.

Lauren had another one of her nightmares.

You know, I blame her imagination on you.

� Yeah, well, she definitely didn't get it from you.

(Matt exclaims)

� Oh! Hey.

� Sorry, Mrs. C., I couldn't get her to go back to sleep.

� Hey, baby!

What happened?

� I'm scared all the bears are going to die

because global warming is destroying our planet

and they can't hibernate!

BECKY: She wanted to hear a bedtime story

but it freaked her out.

� Oh, you mean that nature one?

� Yeah. � Yeah, I like to change

the ending on that one, it gets weirdly dark.

� Oh. � Well, thanks, Becky,

you can take off if you want.

� Thanks. Sorry again.

� Ah!

� See you around, squirt!

� All right, bug, let's get you to bed, huh?

Come on, I'll be your bear, come on.

(Matt growls)

Say goodnight to Derrick! LAUREN: Goodnight.

MOLLY: Hey, I'll show you to your room.

You get to stay in Matt's man cave.

(Derrick sighs)

(soft music)

(notification pings)

JAX: What up, Jaxers?

It's ya boy, Jax.

Back at it again with another video,

you already know what's good.

Got a quick lil' update about that doucher, Derdick.

(exaggerated laughter)

He is now officially cancelled!

Oh, baby!

So shout�out to you all for making sure everyone knows

how much of a loser wannabe he is.

No one messes with Jax, baby, mm, mm, mm.

Anyways, just gonna leave a little friendly reminder

of all his socials on the screen

if you wanna say, like, hi, you know, or whatever.

(sarcastic laughter)

Jax out, baby.

(notifications pinging)

(tense music)

(Derrick sighs)

DERRICK: Here we go.

SUSAN: So you're the new guy.

� Susan!

We have gotta stop meeting like this!

[chuckling] SUSAN: Well, you know,

I was here first, so... � Ah, yes.

� Ooh, so since Kathy is talking to Jim,

I'm guessing that everyone's gonna know

about that whole Internet pariah thing

by, like, lunch.

� Is there anyone on this planet who doesn't know?

� I mean, you were trending.

� Susan!

Crazy thing.

I still don't have the new Pooka design

on my desk yet!

You know, the unveiling's next week.

Were you...planning to do that today, or��

SUSAN: Yes, yes; sorry, sir, it's on the way.

� You're the new copywriter, huh?

Well, it's nice that the company's taking on

a charitycase.

Just try to keep a low profile, huh?

Get him started on my speech ASAP.

� Mm�hm.

� Who is he? SUSAN: Amir.

He's the general manager.

He's been up my ass about this whole Pooka redesign

we're launching next week.

But if you have any questions, I'm over in Marketing.

We're, like, somewhere over in that general vicinity.

� By the other generic cubicles?

� Yeah. � Got it.

� Cool.

See you around, stranger.

� See you around, stranger.

(he sighs)

(elevator bell dings)

(notifications ping)

(mellow elevator music)

(dramatic musical tone)

POOKA FIGURE: Boo! � (Derrick screams)

POOKA FIGURE: Whoa, dude!

Chill out!

I was just messing with you.

� What is happening?

� Name's Andy.

I'm in charge of social media.

Had to get some promo shots with the OG Pooka here for Insta.

Wait.

I recognize you.

You��you're the new copywriter?

� Yeah.

That's me. ANDY: Cool.

That means you work for me.

� Wow.

You are...

very young.

� Yeah. Got fast�tracked.

Dad's an associate regional manager!

DERRICK: So that's the original

Pooka doll?

ANDY: Yeah, the one and only.

You know the story about the chick who created it, right?

� No.

� She went nuts,

killed her husband,

and lit herself on fire.

(eerie music)

� Really?

� Yup.

Fucked�up, huh?

(elevator bell dings)

(mellow elevator music)

Hey, anyway, peace out, Derrick.

(birdsong)

(dark musical tone)

(notification pings)

What up, Jaxers?

It's ya boy, Jax,

comin' at you with some hot goss.

But first, a very special shout�out

to a truly dedicated Jaxer for trackin' down

our favorite loser.

Aww, poor Derdick!

Looks like he went a little wee�wee

and ran all the way back home!

(exaggerated laughter)

I think it's my duty to give him a, uh,

very special homecoming.

So if there are any Jaxers in the Spring Valley area,

make sure to do your very best to welcome him back.

SUSAN: Hey. What are you doing back?

� Some asshat fucked with my car.

SUSAN: Oh.

"You sux"? � Right?

If you're gonna insult a writer,

at least use proper grammar.

� You gonna go to HR?

What happened to keeping a low profile?

� Maybe you're right.

SUSAN: Well, either way, I'll see you tonight.

DERRICK: Tonight?

� Yeah, at your welcome home party.

Molly texted me about it?

(Derrick sighs heavily)

Oh...was that a surprise?

� To me, it was.

SUSAN: Oops. Um...

well, see ya there.

� Yeah. Bring alcohol.

Please, yeah. � Okay, yeah.

(notification pings)

(uproarious laughter)

(alt rock music)

DERRICK: Remember that time

when we, uh, tried to TP Mrs. Kruger's house?

� We tried to TP her place

but you couldn't get the TP roll over the tree.

DERRICK: You know what?

Matt was the athlete, not me, right?

� I had the muscles to take it over the top, baby!

� Had. � Aww!

Hey, Bennie, you might wanna take it easy on those brownies.

They're, uh, Molly's special recipe.

� Mm! Honestly, these are fantastic!

� No, it��

� You put weed in here?

� Yes! BENNIE: No! I can't get high!

I'm a sheriff's deputy. � Sorry!

� Oh, what the hell.

So good.

� You guys, this is so much fun.

It's just like when we were kids, right?

MATT: This is making me miss being 16.

I just wanna be 16 again. DERRICK: Are you kidding me?

Do you know how awful it would be to be a teenager now, okay?

Social media's the worst invention ever.

� All right, I can't do it.

Everyone's dancing around the issue

and I have no idea what's going on,

so I gotta ask, Derrick,

what is it with you and the internet thing?

� Bennie! DERRICK: No, it's fine.

Figures Bennie wouldn't know.

I, um, wrote a book about online personalities

that pissed off one of the biggest influencers

on the internet, some douchebag named Jax.

� I'm sorry, man.

I know he's ruining your life, but...

Jax puts out the funniest videos.

(quirky music)

� Mm...um...

� Wait, didn't his videos hurt kids?

Like, they were eating marbles and, like, rupturing colons?

� Yeah��kids, adults, a lot of people did it.

Like, a lot of people do it, like, all kinds of people,

adults too.

SUSAN: Um...so what happened?

DERRICK: He made it his mission to ruin my life.

Sent his horde to crucify me on social media,

flooded online sites with bad reviews,

boycotted my publisher, killed sales.

He, uh, destroyed my career.

All that work was just erased from existence.

Might as well have been dead.

POOKA DOLL: Dead!

(collective gasp)

� Oh!

� Mom? I had a nightmare.

MOLLY: Oh, baby, come over here.

Was it about pomegranates again?

Look, I know those seeds are weird,

but it's just a fruit, I promise.

� No, it was Momo.

BENNIE: Oh, sweetie is that, like, a K�pop band?

MATT: Uh, no, not exactly.

Momo is a dumb, scary�looking doll thing

with big bug eyes, right?

� Oh yeah, Kathy sent that to me.

Bunch of kids made up a story

that if you don't do what Momo says,

she'll make you�� � Mm...mm...

� do...do bad things. MOLLY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, someone sent it to Matt

and he accidentally showed it to a certain little girl.

� All right, let's get you to bed before

Mommy sics Momo on both of us.

Say goodnight!

(all say goodnight)

MATT: Goodnight, everybody, let's go, let's go...

All right, bug, goodnight, muah!

� Don't forget Jenni!

� You know Jenni's not real, right?

� Don't listen to him, Jenni.

Mom says we can manifest ethereal entities

with our psychic energies.

� Right. Okay.

Uh, goodnight, Jenni, muah!

Don't keep her up too late, okay?

(tender music)

MOLLY: She is just like I was when I was little.

� Weird as fuck?

(Susan spits, all laugh)

So what's with the whole murder�suicide thing in Pooka?

� You didn't hear about what happened last year?

� It was Ellie Burgis.

Do you remember her? She was in our class.

She used to sit in the back row and, like, eat her own hair?

MATT: Oh, Ellie Burgess!

Yeah, Ellie Burgess and I went on a couple dates

back in the day.

Talk about a bullet dodged.

SUSAN: She actually came up with the idea for the doll

when she was working in Accounting.

The company bought it off of her, but then

they wanted to do a remodel to spruce it up

and she went berserk

and Security had to, like, escort her out of the building

and she did it that night.

BENNIE: You know, I was the one that got called to the scene

that night.

� I don't wanna hear about this. � Oh, I wanna hear about that.

� Come on. � No!

BENNIE: Well, we needed forensics to tell

the bodies apart because they were so charred.

You wanna know the creepiest part?

� Because that wasn't creepy enough?

� She was wearing a Pooka mask when she did it

and it melted to her face.

(Susan gasps)

MATT: Bennie! Why do you have that on your phone?

You brought that up so fast!

� What would make someone do that?

(sharp thud)

(collective gasp)

(relieved laughter)

� Hey, use the doorbell!

Jesus Christ! DERRICK: No, I got it, I got it.

� Okay. � God.

TAUNTER: You suck, Derdick!

(egg smashes against door)

� What is going on?

(he sighs)

� Well, bad news, Matt and Molly.

Apparently, the Jackoffs know where I'm staying.

(group laments)

� Maybe you should send Momo after them.

� Or Ellie, huh?

(Susan gasps)

Right? Just imagine just a crazy chick

in a melted Pooka mask.

That's scarier than Momo.

� What if we did that?

� Did what?

� What if we made our own Momo?

But for adults, based on Ellie?

You know, really fuck with other people online

for a change, especially Jax.

We could go viral.

� But how do you make it, you know, spread on the internet?

DERRICK: Oh, people love to join in on stupid shit.

We just come up with some ridiculous ritual

that you can do to summon Pooka.

It'll be like Bloody Mary meets the ice bucket challenge.

SUSAN: Okay, okay, what could the ritual be?

MATT: Well, if it's involving Pooka,

maybe we have 'em do the Pooka dance thing,

the Pooka�see, Pooka�do thing, like, whatever that is?

MOLLY: Okay, yeah, that is kinda cute.

DERRICK: Yeah, yeah, yeah, something like that, but...

more stupid. � Yeah.

BENNIE: Well, she burned herself alive.

(tense music)

Why don't we get people to eat something really, really spicy?

� No, the spicy food challenge stuff,

like the Hot Ones thing, that's played out,

that's too hacked.

But eating something, that's always a big thing.

That's good, but what would it be?

� What about ash?

� Morbid. I love it, Susan.

[chuckling] � Thank you.

DERRICK: In order to do the full ceremony,

you eat ash, symbolizing the Salem witch trials,

where her ancestors were punished.

Put on the Pooka mask and do the Pooka dance

while singing the full lyrics.

The spell goes,

"Pooka see, Pooka do.

If you're bad, he'll come for you.

With fuzzy ears and eyes of red,

you'd best behave or else you're dead."

All right, I think I got it.

Ellie's fake family history about her ancestors

being witches,

bunch of random mysticism courtesy of Molly.

� Yeah! � Mm�hm.

� You do all of this and Pooka will judge

if you're naughty.

You can even challenge your friends to join in.

� That's where it's at.

MOLLY: Uh, yeah, guys,

I don't know about this.

That's an angry spirit you're messing with.

Can we just not post it?

MATT: Molly, see, this is why Lauren always has nightmares,

'cause you talk about this stuff like it's real.

(Molly scoffs)

� Oh, come on, Molly.

Live a��live a little!

� Bennie, you're so stoned!

Stop eating the brownies!

� But they're delicious!

(laughter)

MOLLY: Oh my God, you're so high!

� But seriously...

I think you should post it.

Because if Amir sees it, he will lose his shit.

� Done.

(click)

� Ah.

MATT: All right, you're finished, great.

But this creative genius has got to go to bed.

POOKA DOLL: Finished!

(collective gasp)

� Oh, I'm never getting high again.

(dramatic music)

� Hey, Jaxers!

It's ya boy, Jax. Ya'll have been begging me

to try this whole Pooka Challenge.

Here we go. Now, if I've been naughty,

which, come on, I'm Jax, y'all,

Pooka will come and beat the shit outta me, okay?

So I've decided to risk it all for you Jaxers.

[exhaling deeply] Here we go.

(techno music)

[chuckling] Bone apple teeth!

Yecch.

That's nasty.

Pooka see, Pooka do

If you're bad, he'll come for you

With fuzzy ears and eyes of red

You'd best behave or else you're dead

(clears his throat)

Uh, I challenge my bros Frotropious and WillyTT

to take the challenge.

(he coughs)

Subscribe.

ANDY: Yo, you have to do the Pooka Challenge.

Even Jax did it.

Get me a Pooka mask stat.

� What did Jax do?

ANDY: Um ...it's called Google, old man.

(Andy snickers)

(typing)

(fantastical music)

� Holy shit, we're trending!

� Oh my God, did you see?

� Yes, yes, we actually went viral!

� I know, right?

By the way, ash tastes terrible.

� What��you...

you actually tried it?

We made it up! � I know, I had to!

Kathy made everyone in the office do it.

But, you know, good work, copywriter.

(he chuckles faintly)

So, hey, would you maybe wanna get dinner tomorrow?

You know, catch up?

� Oh, yeah��uh, yeah, sure.

SUSAN: Cool. Well, how 'bout Footsies?

� Is that like literally the only restaurant in town?

� What? I love the breadsticks.

AMIR: Susan!

� Yeah. � We are facing a code red

PR crisis.

What are you doing to help out, exactly?

� I'm just giving Derrick notes on his copy for Pooka Day.

� Okay. Your little�ass pal is the least of our worries.

I need you to please get your head in the game.

� Mm�hm, I'm sorry, sir, I'm��I'm coming.

(indistinct whispering)

MATT: Oh�ho�ho my God!

Stores are selling out of the Pooka mask.

We better be getting a fat royalty check for this.

� I thought I imagined this whole thing.

Do not ever let me taste your baked goods again, Matt.

� Fuck Jax, I can't believe he actually did it.

� Well, I mean, I did it too 'cause, like, you know,

what he does, I do.

Usually, it's just...

I mean, I stay on trend, you know?

I just try and keep up with the...

(notification beeps)

Oh, okay.

I got daddy duty.

You guys have a good time.

Here you go, Bennie. � Ew! Matt!

� What? No beer left behind, right?

See you guys later.

NEWSCASTER: Social media influencers

have taken the internet by storm,

igniting the Pooka Challenge.

Experts are saying this is quickly becoming

the biggest internet sensation of all time.

� The most influential thing I've ever written.

And I can't even take credit for it.

� Whatever, man.

Don't these things just blow over anyway?

� No, no, they definitely do not.

I have over a half a million followers who are trolling me

and they are not letting it go.

And a stalker. BENNIE: What?

Oh no.

No.

"Hey. This is Derrick's friend

the police officer.

Now I have your cell number, asshole."

You're welcome.

� My hero.

� All right, well, I'm calling it.

I got an early shift tomorrow.

Get home safe, bud.

� Goodnight, Officer.

� Okay, so, we're gonna go to the beach,

you know, get shirtless,

and then fuck up some Pooka toys.

(he chuckles)

Yeah. Obviously, I'm gonna livestream it.

(he scoffs)

Wh��I'm deadass, Brad!

Yeah, I don't care if it's littering.

Bro, this whole Pooka thing is getting me way more views

than the IG pics of my abs.

Yeah, I know, I didn't believe it either.

Anyways, we are riding this wave to a new brand deal, okay?

POOKA DOLL: Deal!

(eerie music)

JAX: Fuckin' toy.

(record tone chimes)

What up, Jaxers?

It's ya boy Jax coming to you live!

Just wanna say a quick little thank you

to everyone for supporting me on my latest video.

(clattering thud)

Oh. Anyways, uh, just wanted to say

I have a very, very special treat lined up

for all you Pooka fans, you already��

(door jostling)

Uh, sorry, Jaxers, just got a little distracted.

(thudding)

(dramatic musical tone)

What the hell?

(slicing stab)

(Pooka roars)

(Jax coughs, exclaims)

Help!

Someone help me!

(thudding footsteps)

Help!

(Jax screams)

(blood spurts)

Mom!

(slicing stabs)

� Fucking influencers.

(engine rumbles to life)

Cheers. � Cheers!

DERRICK: Oh my God.

Remember when my mom used to drop us off here?

[laughing] � Yes!

And those ominous warnings she used to give us?

DERRICK: "Be safe."

Like she thought we were just gonna go into the bathroom

and start bangin'.

� I mean, nothing turns me on like garlic and butter.

� So you, uh, meeting a lot of new people?

� Uh, yeah, well, I'm seeing, like, five guys at once, so.

� Hm. SUSAN: Really mastered

playing the field here in Spring Valley.

� I am very proud of you.

But seriously, are you?

� No!

Have you seen how busy I am?

Every living thing in my house dies.

I can't commit to a human.

So, um...you got any ideas for your next book?

� I think it's safe to say that my writing career

is pretty much over.

� You can't just give up, Derrick.

You've always wanted to be a writer.

� Yeah, well, that was before

the world thought I was an asshole.

Now they could care less what I have to say.

� So what are you gonna do?

� Play it by ear.

Hopefully, this whole thing dies down

and then I get a writing job doing food reviews

for a little gazette in New York.

� So you're going back there, then?

� Maybe.

I don't know, that's where my life was.

(tender music)

So, um...aww... SUSAN: WHAT?

DERRICK: Do you ever think what would've happened

if we stayed together?

SUSAN: Hm.

Well, I would be miserable in New York

or you would be miserable here.

(they chuckle)

� Come on.

It's New York, Susan.

� Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

I actually like it here and you don't.

All you've ever wanted is to get out and be seen.

� What does that mean?

� Don't act like you don't know.

I mean, this whole thing with Jax.

I mean, you hate it but you're obsessed with it.

Why don't you just delete your social profiles?

(he sighs)

I'm just saying that what you wanted isn't here.

And all I've ever wanted is...

� What, to be in a town full of nobodies

obsessed with some obnoxious children's toy?

(she scoffs)

� So this life that you have up there,

how many people actually gave a shit

when all this went down?

� Okay, you know what? It's New York, okay?

I got dropped.

They'll welcome me back eventually.

� Okay, well here in Spring Valley,

there's people like Molly who open their home to you

because they're good people.

(he exclaims)

I mean, did you even visit Molly when she had Lauren?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

I mean, when you left, you just dropped all of us.

You got successful and then all of a sudden

it was like none of us even mattered anymore.

Until you needed us.

So don't you dare act like you're better

than this place.

DERRICK: Hey��Susan, Susan!

� I'm parked down there.

� Okay, I'll walk you to your car.

� No, it's cool, I got it.

� Hey, listen, I'm sorry about what I said before,

I didn't mean it.

� No, you did.

And that's just who you are,

and that's okay.

And it was really great catching up with you.

I'll see you at the office.

� Yeah, okay, just...

Bye, Susan!

(eerie music)

(notification pings)

(car alarm chirps)

(phone ringtone sounding)

SUSAN: Oh God, Amir, fuck Pooka!

� (engine starts) � (dramatic musical tone)

Andy?

(notification pings)

"You've been naughty"?

� (Pooka roars) � (Susan screams)

(she screams)

(engine roars)

(brakes screech)

(thud)

(she pants)

(screeching tone)

(tone abruptly stops)

(distant dog bays)

[panting] Oh my God.

� Susan! � Oh! Jesus Christ, Derrick!

� What happened?

� I was attacked!

� Attacked? By who?

� I don't know, I don't know what...

� Your car.

"Naughty"? SUSAN: What?!

BENNIE: So you were attacked by someone

wearing a Pooka suit?

� Yeah, I think so.

Derrick and I had just finished dinner,

and then, he was just at my car,

and he had... he had these scissors.

Like we wrote in the story.

And then he was just gone.

� I got a text from the stalker just as she was being attacked.

� Does someone know we posted that story?

� Can't we just take it down, Derrick?

� I��no one knows it was actually us

that posted it.

� You won't delete it because it's popular,

won't you?

� It's out there now. � (Susan scoffs)

� Bennie, I mean, should we be worried, or...

� I don't know.

Just be careful, keep your doors locked.

Suzie, I'm gonna take you down to the station

so we can file a report.

And I'm gonna run that number that's been harassing you,

see who it belongs to.

� Yeah, no, thanks.

Suzie, I'm really sorry about that.

SUSAN: Yeah.

(dramatic musical tone)

[knocking] � Knock, knock!

� Hey! Molly, what's up?

MOLLY: I just wanted to make sure you were okay.

Seemed kinda tense down there with Susan, huh?

DERRICK: Yeah.

I, uh, really fucked up.

Started thinking maybe you were right,

so I was checking to see if anyone figured out

it was us.

This thing's really taken on a life of its own.

� What do you mean?

DERRICK: People keep adding to it,

saying that it has razor�sharp claws,

can teleport...

Starting to talk about it like it's actually real.

� Well, they probably do think it's real.

Never underestimate how willing people are

to believe in something.

Did you know in some cultures,

they actually believe the imagination can create

things that...

I'm gonna stop talking now.

Goodnight.

DERRICK: Hey, Moll?

� Yep?

DERRICK: You know, it's not too late for me to get

a hotel room or something.

This is a lot to deal with.

You guys have done enough already.

MOLLY: Are you kidding?

You were already chased out of your home once.

I am not letting that happen again.

� You're a better friend than I deserve, Moll.

� Mm.

[chuckling] Very true.

DERRICK: Goodnight.

(departing footsteps)

ANDY: Hey, Derdick!

Here. � What's this?

ANDY: Some stuff Amir needs for the big shindig tomorrow.

Pooka 2.0, baby!

So, yeah, he apparently wanted it yesterday, so.

� Yesterday?

Thanks for the prompt delivery.

� Hey, no sweat, dude.

Peace out.

(soft music)

(elevator powering down)

(elevator powering on)

(ominous music)

(muffled screaming)

� Hey, hey, I was... looking for you all day.

Is everything all right?

� Yeah, you know, just swamped with the event.

� Yeah, I was, um, wondering

if we could maybe try that whole...

dinner thing again tonight?

I'm clearly very rusty.

� Uh, I actually asked Molly and Matt

if they would hang out tonight, so, um, sorry.

� Got it! Oh, yeah, duh.

I still have to finish that whole speech thing

for your event, uh, tomorrow.

So, um, I will see you there

at the...

(dark music)

(sighs)

REPORTER: In international news,

Alex Butler was arrested in Berlin

for murdering his family after police responded

to sounds of screaming coming from the household.

Reports indicate there were four victims:

his wife and their three children.

Eyewitnesses reported that upon being arrested,

the suspect was apparently hysterically claiming

that he was innocent

and that a creature actually committed the murders

after they did the now�infamous Pooka Challenge.

We'll have more details soon.

� This can't be real.

(beep)

Here you go.

(groaning)

[singing] Pooka see, Pooka do.

If you're bad, he'll come for you.

With furry ears and eyes of red,

best be good or else you're dead.

(beep)

(sighs)

(scoffs)

Just what I thought.

You're just a stupid kids' toy.

(typing)

(eerie music)

(phone chimes)

Fuck...

(door opening)

Hello?

Andy, if that's you...

I'm definitely going straight to HR.

(heart beating)

(intense music)

(heart beating)

(tense music)

Stupid fuckin' Pooka.

(Pooka growling)

Shit!

(dramatic music)

(Pooka growling)

(dial tone beeping)

(Pooka growling)

PATRON: Hey, are you all right?

� No! � Swing and a miss.

(Susan laughs)

(Derrick panting)

� Oh, hi, Derrick.

You do know this isn't actually the only place in town.

MOLLY: Are you okay? � Oh, yeah, I'm fine!

Everything's fine!

I just got attacked by a giant kids' toy!

� What, the guy from last night?

DERRICK: No, no, everyone, just��just listen to me.

Whatever it is that tried to kill me, um...

it wasn't human.

(laughing)

MATT: Uh, you okay, man, or...

DERRICK: I'm serious.

I did the ritual, and, uh...

...I think I summoned Pooka.

MATT: The ritual?

The same ritual we did the other day

while drunk, the one we made up completely?

DERRICK: Okay, okay, okay, just...

hear me out.

What if the singing, the dancing, the ash,

the whole Pooka thing,

what if it actually works?

MOLLY: What did I tell you?

What did I tell you guys about fucking with angry spirits?

SUSAN: Derrick, I know you're upset,

but listen to yourself�� � I know what I saw!

� Okay, your parents just called,

so they're on their way home.

That means bedtime.

� But you said you'd tell us a story.

BECKY: Yeah, well, last time I read you and Jenni something,

your parents almost fired me.

(soft music)

You want your Pooka doll?

What, why not? You love Pooka.

� It's going to get me.

� Don't tell me you're scared of that viral thing.

Lauren, you're getting too old for this kind of stuff.

Here.

I'll prove to you...

there's nothing to be afraid of.

(music intensifying)

(cork pops out)

(pouring)

(dark music)

(chuckling)

(phone vibrates)

Naughty?

(thud)

Mrs. C, are you home?

(door rattling)

Lauren, is that you?

(shaky breathing)

(door creaking open)

(eerie music)

(Pooka growling)

(screaming)

(Pooka growling)

(Becky screaming)

(blood splattering)

(Becky groaning)

(screaming)

(door slams)

(Pooka growling)

(soft music)

� Becky, we're home.

(Molly sighs)

I'll check upstairs. MOLLY: Yeah.

Becky?

(Pooka lullaby music)

MATT: She's not up there.

MOLLY: What? I just talked to her.

Did she leave?

� I don't know, maybe she bailed.

� She bailed? Oh my God, she is so fired.

DERRICK: Maybe Pooka got her.

� Oh my God, here we go.

(banging)

SUSAN: Maybe it's the babysitter?

(shouting)

BENNIE: Matt, what the hell?

MATT: What are you doing here, Bennie?

BENNIE: I came to talk to Derrick about that phone number

since he wasn't answering my calls.

(sighs)

What, did something happen?

� Pooka attacked me at the office.

We think it's Ellie's ghost.

MATT: No, that...

that's what Molly thinks.

� Matt, Ellie murdered her husband

and burnt herself alive... MATT: And that means now

that there's a toy roaming the streets killing people?

MOLLY: No, it means that her spirit is not at rest,

and that ritual we made could be channeling it

and manifesting as Pooka.

(sighs)

SUSAN: So what did you find out?

� Well I traced the phone number that's been harassing you.

It belongs to some kid named Andy Jorgensen.

� Andy? � He works at SCI.

I mean, the guy's a douchebag,

but I don't think he'd actually attack anybody.

BENNIE: Well, I tracked the phone number.

He's at Ellie's old place right now.

I'm gonna go check it out and I'll let you know what I find.

DERRICK: No, no, no, it's not safe for you, Bennie.

This is not something you can arrest.

Whatever that thing is,

it is not just some kid wearing a costume.

� Okay, Derrick, take a breath, calm down.

MOLLY: Okay, listen, if it's a ghost,

then the only way to get rid of it

is to purify the place where it died.

So, here, okay.

You burn the sage, you sprinkle the salt...

� Guys, I don't think... DERRICK: Burn the sage

and sprinkle the salt? SUSAN: I'm coming with you.

If this is because of the ritual, I did it too.

� Guys. � So I want to help.

� You did it? BENNIE: Okay!

Everybody take a breath and calm down.

This is getting ridiculous.

For once in my life, I agree with Matt.

MATT: Wow.

� There are no such thing as ghosts.

Okay, so I am going to Ellie's and I am bringing in Andy

because I am an officer of the law.

Now, if you two want to come with me, that's fine,

only because I know you'll follow me anyway.

� That's true. All right.

� Call us if you need any help, okay?

MATT [sarcastically]: Yeah, and be careful of the spirits

and the ghosts and the goblins.

And the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus,

and elves and shit. � Never having sex again.

(dark music)

� Not creepy at all.

� I'm gonna check it out.

Stay behind me.

(crickets chirring)

(tender music)

� You still have that old thing I gave you?

� It was your, uh, goodbye present to me.

SUSAN: You know I bought it for like five bucks

at Claire's, right?

� Sentimental value.

� No sign of a break�in.

SUSAN: Well, how are we gonna get in?

� Oh, wait, did...

did I just hear someone call for help?

� What? No, I��I didn't hear anything.

� I don't think so. BENNIE: No, I definitely heard

someone call for help.

(smashing)

It's a cop thing.

(screaming, growling)

(Matt laughing)

� Oh, okay, okay, there is a Burmese demon

called a Belu

that shapeshifts and eats people.

Maybe it's one of those. MATT: Yeah.

Oh, you should probably call Ghostbusters.

Maybe they can figure it out.

MOLLY: Okay, what's with the condescending attitude?

� No, uh...sorry, you're right.

Let's just jump to the conclusion

that ghosts and demons exist

and they're stalking our friends.

� I remember when you loved that I was into this stuff,

and now it just seems to annoy you.

� I just wish you were a bit more realistic sometimes.

� What? MATT: Molly, our daughter

believes she has an invisible friend because of you.

� So? MATT: She's 8 years old, Moll!

She shouldn't be learning about Tibetan mysticism.

MOLLY: Oh, I'm sorry

that I think there's more to the world

than drinking beer and watching television.

� Oh my God, look, it's not a demon.

It's just some people being idiots online.

� Well, it's clear we see things differently.

MATT: Oh my God.

LAUREN: Mom, Dad?

� Hey, bud. � Hey, baby.

Did you have another bad dream?

� No.

(tense music)

[whispering] There's someone in my room.

� So, um, what is it that we're looking for?

DERRICK: Some sign of Pooka.

BENNIE: No, we're looking to see

if a person has been here recently.

DERRICK: I'm probably the first black guy to say this to a cop,

but I'd feel a lot safer if you'd take out your gun.

� I don't know, man.

I didn't pack my silver bullets.

� Hey, look.

� So this is where it happened.

LAUREN: Jenni and I saw something.

MATT: No, Jenni, you just imagined you saw something.

LAUREN: But it's Pooka, he was watching me.

MOLLY: No, baby, we told you

that was just a story we made up.

LAUREN: Becky did it. MATT: Becky did what?

� She did the dance and put it online

and now she's gone.

MOLLY: Honey...

where is Becky?

MATT: Moll, no, stop, just watch Lauren.

I'm gonna check the room.

MOLLY: No.

No, Matt!

Matt, don't you go in that room!

MATT: Molly, look at me!

Monsters don't exist!

� What...

MATT: I can't believe I'm the bad guy in this situation.

(phone chiming)

� Was that a phone?

� If ghosts had phones.

(light switch flicking)

� Damn light bulbs.

Where'd you say you saw it?

� In the closet.

(phone chimes)

� "You've been naughty."

BENNIE: Police.

This is the police. Show yourself.

(music intensifying)

(Derrick retching)

(Derrick coughing)

I guess we can rule out Andy.

SUSAN: I think that's safe to say.

(Pooka lullaby playing)

(music box stops)

(tense music)

(growling)

� All right, I'm gonna have to call this in.

POOKA DOLL: Call this in.

DERRICK: Susan...

(Pooka grumbling)

(growling)

(gasps)

(groaning)

� Bennie!

(Pooka growling)

MATT: Fuck!

(Matt panting)

Shit!

(gasping, Pooka growling)

� Matt, Matt!

You stay here.

(Pooka growling)

MATT: Holy shit!

Holy shit, what is that thing?

MOLLY: Ah, holy shit!

And what is it wearing? � What's wrong?

� Uh, nothing.

Get downstairs now.

(Pooka growling)

(Molly grunting)

(bat snaps)

MATT: Go, go, go!

(growling)

(dramatic music)

(Pooka growls, Molly gasps)

Well, Molly, I think it's safe to say that

you were probably right. � Probably?

(groaning)

BENNIE: Get outta here now!

� No, no, Bennie, we are not leaving you.

(Pooka growling)

� Hey, asshole!

(smashing)

SUSAN: That was not even close.

DERRICK: Uh, yeah, writer here.

(growling)

MOLLY: Hey!

No, not my Himalayan salt crystal!

(thud)

MATT: Go, go, go, go, go!

LAUREN: What's wrong?

MOLLY: Uh, nothing.

It's just a really big rat.

� You're going to stab it? � Yeah, it's a big monster rat.

Now get in the pantry. Go, go, go!

(Pooka growling)

(door slams)

(growling)

� Be gone, evil spirit!

SUSAN: Aren't you supposed to light it?

� I don't know!

Shit, shit!

� Hey!

(groaning)

� Damn it, Molly!

� God damn it, you guys!

(shouting)

(Pooka growling)

(Bennie groaning)

(panting)

MOLLY: Great idea, Matt.

Now we're in a small room with no exit!

What do we do now? � I don't know!

(screaming)

LAUREN: Is that Becky?

MOLLY: It's okay, baby.

She's just napping.

� What?

(screaming)

(wood snapping)

(screaming)

(stabbing)

(screaming)

(Pooka growling)

(Bennie groaning)

� Guys?

The hole!

(Pooka growling)

SUSAN: He needs a doctor.

DERRICK: Let's get him the hell outta here.

(groaning)

(soft music)

[whispering] � Go see if it's gone.

[whispering] � Wow.

[whispering] � What?

(door opening)

(Molly gasps)

� What?

MATT: Hey, are you okay?

No, yeah, neither am I.

(phone vibrating)

� Oh no.

� What?

� It's Bennie.

(phone vibrating)

SUSAN: Jesus, Amir.

It's like 2 a. m. Why are you still awake?

DERRICK: Is this really the safest place you could think of?

� What? It's our spot. MOLLY: Hey, guys.

What happened to Bennie?

(soft music)

� Hey, bud, do you want to see

if you can try and beat Daddy's high score

on the old video game over there, Gut Wrencher?

� You're going to talk about adult stuff, aren't you?

� Yeah, we are.

Here you go.

� Come on, Jenni.

� That kid's gonna need some therapy when we're all done.

� Yeah.

SUSAN: So we took Bennie to the hospital,

so he's gonna be okay.

Pooka attacked him.

DERRICK: Which was incredibly difficult

to explain to the police,

but at least we know it wasn't Andy,

and your magic herbs and spices didn't do jack.

MOLLY: Well, Pooka showed up at our house too.

He was in Lauren's closet.

And he, uh...

he killed our babysitter.

SUSAN: What?

Oh my God.

Wait, if Pooka was at your house, too,

can ghosts show up in two places at once?

� I don't think so.

� And why was it wearing those, like, German kid shorts?

� What? MATT: Those German shorts,

the ones, like the high ones that German kids wear,

with the suspenders on them.

SUSAN: What are you talking about?

MATT: The stupid, like, German kid shorts,

the green ones with the straps...

DERRICK: Guys, guys, guys, guys.

SUSAN: What?

� I think I figured it out.

� What?

� I think the internet literally created a monster.

MATT: The fuck are you talking about, Derrick?

� Just listen to me, all right?

There's the original Pooka, right?

That's the one that attacked Susan.

But then people kept adding stuff to the story,

like claws.

That's the one that attacked me.

Tonight, the one that attacked you guys.

Did it look like this? MOLLY: Yes.

MATT: That's the fan art that went viral!

That's the German kid shorts!

SUSAN: So you're saying that whatever people

are talking about online is coming true?

� Not everything, I think.

Just the stuff that's super popular.

MOLLY: Oh my God.

Oh my God, that's it, that's it!

It's a Tulpa.

� A what? � What?

MOLLY: Okay, so, Tulpas were created by Tibetan monks.

They would focus their thoughts on creating

spiritual companions to aid them.

� Like Jenni? � Mmm, kind of.

Tulpas are completely autonomous,

so your thoughts give it life

but you don't necessarily control it.

� Like Fight Club!

� Yes, like Fight Club.

� I mean, it tracks.

If the internet is making everyone think of something,

then that could create a Tulpa.

� Yeah, so if a bunch of shitheads online are doing it,

of course it's evil, but how do we get rid of it?

� Oh, well, that's easy. You just get everybody to...

stop thinking about it.

� Guys, whatever we're gonna do, we better do it now.

MATT: Oh, God, what now?

DERRICK: Someone just posted a story

about the Pooka unveiling.

It says once the new toy is shown off,

all the old ones are gonna come to life

and wipe out humanity.

They're saying it's Pooka's revenge for trying to change it.

SUSAN: Oh my God.

The event...it's today.

(video game beeping)

MOLLY: What if Pooka shows up at your mom's house?

MATT: My mom still has dial�up internet.

I'm pretty sure she's not gonna do any internet challenges.

Lauren will be safe there.

MOLLY: Hey, I wouldn't suggest having a drink right now, Matt.

MATT: If I'm gonna get murdered by some demonic toy,

I'm gonna be buzzed when it happens, okay?

SUSAN: I don't understand.

There's been viral stuff before.

How come we've never seen, like, a monster Grumpy Cat?

DERRICK: Well, maybe because

it has Ellie's ghost's help.

MOLLY: Okay, okay,

so we just need something else to go viral

to get people to stop talking about Pooka.

� I don't know that we can.

There's even a link to watch a live stream

of the event.

If only we didn't make the story so scary.

� That's it!

� What's it? MOLLY: Uh, the story.

We just change the story!

� Well, it's already out there.

MOLLY: Okay, but the story that I read Lauren

with the bears, I just change the ending for her,

so we just do the same thing with Pooka.

MATT: So we just write that Pooka is dead

and then that's it?

DERRICK: No, that won't exactly get people talking.

SUSAN: What if we give it a silver bullet?

We invent something that can actually kill Pooka.

� The original Pooka doll.

We could use that as a weak spot.

SUSAN: Yes! Amir keeps it in his office.

DERRICK: We could just say that you have to burn it,

the same way Ellie did with her husband.

Say that you have to do it by the unveiling,

otherwise it won't work.

People love a climactic ending.

Look, we'll head to launch, then we'll split up.

Matt, Molly, you guys get the doll.

Susan, we're gonna have to wreck that event.

� I'm so ready for a new job.

� All right, let's do this.

Go...

� We are not doing that. � Okay.

SUSAN: We've got an hour until the presentation starts.

� The story's still holding up, for now.

� Remember, the doll is in Amir's office.

� We got this.

(dramatic music)

AMIR: I'm still seeing some marks here,

so I really need those cleaned up.

Susan, hi!

So great of you to show up to your own event

after ducking my calls for the last 24 hours.

SUSAN [sarcastically]: Wow, Amir, I am so sorry

I didn't respond to your 800 texts at 2 a. m.

� No, it's just good for me to know

that Pooka isn't your number one priority,

so, awesome.

And you, thank you so much

for not finishing that speech of mine!

You can consider yourself fired.

[sarcastically] � Shit, this was my dream job.

� Amir, listen. You cannot present that toy.

People are saying that something awful

is gonna happen at the unveiling.

� Yeah, of course they are.

We posted that.

The whole "Pooka Monster" trend was so popular,

we figured an apocalypse would really get people to tune in.

It's just a story, Susan, calm down!

All right, guys. Let's go, people!

Let's open the doors and let everyone in here!

� I really hate him. � Yeah, I get that.

(tense music)

� Okay, Susan said left.

No, she said right, she said right.

� Which door is it?

� Uh...that one feels right.

� What do you mean, "feels right"?

(people chanting "Pooka!")

AMIR: All right, testing, testing, testing!

Hello, Pooka Nation!

(cheering)

Yeah!

Are you guys ready for some exciting news?

Yeah, you are.

� No, no, no, he can't go on yet,

he can't show the toy, we haven't done the thing.

SUSAN: Oh no.

They're saying that we didn't get the story right.

David Burgis wasn't burned alive.

He was stabbed to death!

DERRICK: We have to stab the doll?

SUSAN: Yes.

� That'll work. SUSAN: We gotta stop Matt

and Molly before they burn that doll.

What are you doing?

� They gotta see it.

I'm gonna live stream the whole thing.

Stall, I'm gonna find Matt and Molly.

� Stall.

MATT: What is that, Moll?

MOLLY: It's a prayer stick.

It wards off evil.

� Isn't that kinda cultural appropriation?

� Is it? MATT: I don't know, is it?

� Oh, there it is.

� Fucking just��let's burn it right here.

MOLLY: Okay.

(lighter flicking)

(Pooka growling)

(screaming)

(intense music)

(growling)

Matt, stay down!

(grunts, smacks)

(Pooka growling)

See, it wards off evil.

AMIR: We here at Spectacular Contraptions

really pride ourselves in bringing you

the best in kids' enjoyment,

which is why we love Pooka!

(cheering)

Are you nice? Are you naughty?

Only Pooka knows!

SUSAN: Hi!

Hi, um, so sorry, Amir.

I was wondering if I could say a few words.

� No, no, that's okay, thank you.

� No, but I do have something really important to add.

AMIR: No, we're good, I'm handling it...

SUSAN: It'll just be one second.

(sighs)

Hi, um...

So, I just really...

wanted to reflect on Pooka.

(dark music)

(groaning)

� The last place I want to be

if all these Pooka dolls come to life.

(panting)

� That looks bad, Matt.

� Eh...

[imitating] "It's only a flesh wound."

(chuckling, coughing)

(groaning)

(tearing)

I meant it, by the way.

� What?

MATT: That I love your quirks.

No, I'm gonna try and be better and more open to that shit.

Just the candles and the salts

and all the rocks and stuff like that.

I just...I love you.

And, um, you were clearly right about all this stuff.

� No, no, listen.

This is...this is a lot,

and, uh, I can be a lot.

But I love you�� � Shh, shush.

� Did you just shush me? � No, no, shut up, shut up.

Listen, listen.

(thumping footsteps)

(door handle rattling)

(tense music)

(door creaking)

MOLLY: Oh, thank God, okay...

POOKA FIGURE: Oh, fuck.

(intense music)

(screaming)

� When I think about my first experience with Pooka,

well, I was in my thirties, but I felt like a kid again.

� That's fine, I think we got it.

No, I think we got it. Very moving.

Very moving, great story.

(energetic music)

(laughter)

(Pooka growling)

MATT: Oh, shit!

(intense music)

Burn the fucking doll, Molly!

MOLLY: I lost the original.

(growling)

DERRICK: Hey, you fucked�up Easter Bunny.

(screeching)

Come get some.

MATT: What are you doing? DERRICK: We gotta stab the doll.

MOLLY: Wait, I thought we were supposed to burn it!

� Yeah, well, they changed the story.

� Oh... � We gotta live stream it too.

Matt, here.

MATT: Derrick, there's fucking thousands of people watching

but they're all fucking rooting for Pooka.

MOLLY: Uh...here, catch!

(stabbing)

(growling)

� It's not working!

� Sorry, it's the wrong one!

(growling)

DERRICK: Can you hurry up and find the right one?

� I am trying!

(growling)

Is this it?

(growling)

I'm sorry, they all look the same!

(Pooka growling)

(tense music)

(coughing)

(heart beating)

(roaring)

How's he doing?

(Pooka growling)

� I don't know, I can't see anything.

Oh, shit, there he is.

He's not doing good!

� Oh...

(growling)

� Oh, God.

(Susan screaming)

� Get off my ex!

(grunts)

� Holy shit!

MOLLY: What, what, what? What is happening?

MATT: It's Susan, she's kicking Pooka's ass!

� I can't believe I'm missing all of this!

(grunting)

(growling)

(clattering)

SUSAN: No.

(Susan groaning)

(Pooka growling)

DERRICK: Susan.

Susan.

MOLLY: Oh my God.

I found it, I found it!

� Give me Pooka, now!

Where's the scissors?

(bang)

(gagging)

Bennie!

MATT: God damn, he's so fucking hot.

� Sorry I'm late.

(growling)

DERRICK: Bennie, scissors!

(Pooka growling)

(Susan gagging)

(growling)

� You're canceled.

(stabbing, growling)

(Pooka hissing)

(tense music)

(growling)

(smashing, crumbling)

(gentle music)

� So how long have you been rehearsing that line in your head?

� How'd you find us?

� I saw your live stream.

Looked like you could use some help.

� Wanna cut me a break? I just killed a demon.

� No, you can't do everything.

� Hey, can we go home now?

DERRICK: It worked.

We killed Pooka.

(groaning)

SUSAN: Let me check on the unveiling.

(panting)

AMIR: Without further ado,

I bring you the new Pooka!

(cheering)

(applause)

(tense music)

� Wait, guys,

apookalypse is trending.

(growling, screaming)

(slicing)

MASKED FAN: Yeah, Pooka!

BENNIE: What happened?

(people screaming)

MATT: No, no, no, no, no.

We did��we did the thing, we did the thing!

� It's the internet.

They won't let Pooka die.

(rattling)

MOLLY: Hey, guys...

it's happening.

They're coming to life.

(creaking, rumbling)

(groaning)

� You said nothing interesting ever happens in Spring Valley.

� I'll never say anything bad about home again.

(rock music)

(rattling)

SINGER: Let's go

Let's go

Oh yeah

Reach for the sky

Let's go

Oh yeah

Reach for the sky

Let's go

Go, go

Yeah, yeah, yeah

(vocalizing)

Let's go

Oh yeah

Reach...