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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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My fellow Americans, it's been decades
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00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:31,448
since Gotham City once
exemplified American prosperity.
4
00:00:31,450 --> 00:00:34,548
But one week ago, it hit
the point of no return
5
00:00:34,550 --> 00:00:36,488
when the Joker seized control
6
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and instituted martial law.
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- [STATIC ON TV]
- Last night,
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his base of operations, the Joker Tower,
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came crashing to the ground,
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triggering an 8.6 earthquake
that leveled the city.
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Sadly, Gotham is beyond saving.
12
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- [ALL GASP]
- So it is with a heavy heart
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00:00:51,170 --> 00:00:53,738
that I hereby declare that Gotham City
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is no longer part of the United States.
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It is civitas non grata.
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God bless the United States of America,
17
00:01:01,210 --> 00:01:03,050
and God help Gotham City.
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Fuck yeah!
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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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- [HORN BLARING]
- [TIRES SCREECHING]
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[DOGS SNARLING]
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[MOANING]
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[STRAINING]
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[GRUNT]
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Honk honk, motherfuckers!
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[HORN BLARING]
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[HORN APPROACHING]
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Home, sweet home.
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Good job, my little baby drivers.
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I got a treat for ya.
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Now, Bud and Lou, don't you fight.
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There's one for each of ya.
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And for my big babies,
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I brought dinner!
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Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
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Those beasts get steak
37
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and we gotta eat this guy?
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Are we living in a mall or a zoo?
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I like to think of it as both now.
40
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No, we're not eating him.
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This is Takashi, a sushi chef.
42
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He's got a Michelin star! [GRUNTS]
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I gotta admit,
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I was excited to eat a person,
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especially since I already had sushi,
46
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but I guess it's fine.
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Come here!
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Takashi, would it be gauche
to ask for a spider roll,
49
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or are you strictly omakase?
50
00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,258
Ive, are you not jazzed about sushi?
51
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No, no. I mean, I like
Takashi's hand rolls
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as much as the next gal,
53
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but don't you think it's time
to kinda like wrap up this party up?
54
00:02:28,430 --> 00:02:29,669
You know, it's been three weeks
55
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since you took down Joker.
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There's no Legion of Doom.
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No Batman.
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Gotham is yours for the taking.
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I am having a blast!
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This is what I've always wanted, Ive.
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Anarchy and sushi!
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[HORN BLARES]
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Yeah, I mean, you definitely
could've had better sushi
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00:02:45,010 --> 00:02:46,718
when Gotham had refrigeration
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and free trade with the
rest of America, but...
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[BLECH] Is this a bird?
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Trust me. Seriously,
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you're gonna be kicking yourself
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00:02:52,690 --> 00:02:53,869
if you don't take charge.
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Ive, the best part of living
in an apocalyptic wasteland
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is no one's in charge.
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Whoo!
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[HORN BLARES]
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It's chaos, baby!
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00:03:03,370 --> 00:03:06,938
It's like 'Nam after
the U.S. pulled out.
76
00:03:06,940 --> 00:03:09,409
- [EXPLOSIONS]
- [SIGHS]
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I don't think it's exactly like that.
78
00:03:10,710 --> 00:03:11,769
But it is pretty awesome.
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00:03:11,770 --> 00:03:14,038
Hey! You're on Penguin turf.
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00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:15,808
Get the hell outta here.
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00:03:15,810 --> 00:03:17,378
The hell ya talking 'bout?
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Penguin called dibs on the mall.
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Uh, we've been chilling at
the mall for, like, ever!
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00:03:21,550 --> 00:03:24,588
And dibs? There's no dibs.
85
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The city's in ruins, idiot.
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It's a post-dibs world.
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Nobody owns nothing.
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Except for me!
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I own this mall.
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00:03:31,530 --> 00:03:33,658
It's chaos, baby!
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00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:37,369
It's like 'Nam after
the U.S. pulled out.
92
00:03:37,370 --> 00:03:39,019
- [EXPLOSION]
- [FRUSTRATED] Stop, stop, stop!
93
00:03:39,020 --> 00:03:40,338
[SOFTLY] No flashbacks.
94
00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:41,499
So you go back to the Penguin
95
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:42,938
and tell him to go screw himself.
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00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:44,568
- [GRUNT]
- [CHOMPS]
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Hey, Takashi.
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00:03:45,571 --> 00:03:47,808
Can you incorporate
this into a rainbow roll?
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00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:50,048
Light on the rice. [LAUGHS]
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00:03:50,050 --> 00:03:51,319
I'm watching my figure.
101
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:52,579
Harley, this is what's going to happen
102
00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:53,692
if you don't take control.
103
00:03:53,694 --> 00:03:55,836
Every one of these assholes
has an army of goons
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that they're just gonna keep sending
until they take over the city.
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00:03:58,390 --> 00:03:59,959
I think you may be catastrophizing.
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[EXPLOSION]
107
00:04:03,090 --> 00:04:06,028
Hey! You're on Two-Face's turf.
108
00:04:06,030 --> 00:04:07,958
Don't make that face at me.
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Fine, I'll deal with it.
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Listen up, goons!
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Excuse me, I identify as a hench.
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00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:15,669
Listen up, goons and henches,
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the world we know has ended.
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00:04:17,610 --> 00:04:21,638
The Justice League is kaput,
the Legion of Doom is doomed,
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and Joker's had his last laugh.
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This is our chance to
even the playing field.
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00:04:27,050 --> 00:04:28,578
You! Who do you work for?
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The Riddler. Obviously.
119
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Seriously? Two-Face. Come on.
120
00:04:31,790 --> 00:04:33,059
But why?
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What have those assholes
ever done for you?
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Joker treated me like shit,
123
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until I decided I'd had enough
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and took him down.
125
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And look at me now.
126
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It is time to rise up!
127
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Everyone should be their own villain.
128
00:04:47,070 --> 00:04:48,998
Don't work for the Penguin,
129
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be the Penguin.
130
00:04:50,140 --> 00:04:51,348
Over here, the hench...
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00:04:51,350 --> 00:04:52,960
I've got a two part question for ya.
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Are you saying we should
become the Penguin,
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or that we should do stuff like him?
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Up to you, goo...
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[BLECH] ... hench.
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This is New Gotham.
137
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The power isn't held by the few,
138
00:05:02,050 --> 00:05:03,588
it's up for grabs.
139
00:05:03,590 --> 00:05:05,918
So everyone should go get some.
140
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:07,019
- [BELCHING]
- [GLASS SHATTERING]
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00:05:07,020 --> 00:05:09,120
[ALL CHEERING]
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Everybody on the floor!
143
00:05:17,630 --> 00:05:19,138
No, yous get on the floor.
144
00:05:19,140 --> 00:05:20,598
Phil, the fuck is going on?
145
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[GUNS COCKING]
146
00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:23,361
[HESITANTLY] Hi. Hey, I'm Steven,
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I'm the shift manager.
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00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:26,507
Uh, are we being robbed, or are you?
149
00:05:26,509 --> 00:05:28,674
Plus also, the bank was
just robbed 15 minutes ago
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by someone who said he was, quote,
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"Penguin like".
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[GROWLS]
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Two-Face double crossed
by his own goo...
154
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[CACKLES]
155
00:05:36,790 --> 00:05:39,818
Citizens of New Gotham,
riddle me this...
156
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Citizens of New Gotham...
157
00:05:41,690 --> 00:05:43,758
Craig? What the hell are you doing?
158
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,858
[CHUCKLES] Who is this
Craig you speak of?
159
00:05:45,860 --> 00:05:49,058
I am the Inquizitor-or-or...
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00:05:49,060 --> 00:05:50,168
Craig, get off the air!
161
00:05:50,170 --> 00:05:51,768
Here's a quizzy quiz.
162
00:05:51,770 --> 00:05:53,738
Who's not my boss anymore?
163
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You!
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00:05:54,793 --> 00:05:57,138
We're cutting in live
from Penguin's casino
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00:05:57,140 --> 00:05:58,940
and looks like I'm the big winner today.
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Come and get it, New Gotham!
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00:06:05,810 --> 00:06:07,178
[PENGUIN] Are we all here?
168
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[SIGHS] We're missing one.
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[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
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[GUN COCKING]
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[ICE SHATTERS]
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[GERMAN ACCENT] Your door is inoperable.
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It's a pull!
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Uh... My bad.
175
00:06:20,830 --> 00:06:22,169
- This guy...
- Gentlemen,
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thank you for coming.
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00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,068
Let me cut to the chase.
178
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Harley Quinn's goon rebellion
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- ... is destroying our way of life.
- [GRUNTS]
180
00:06:29,870 --> 00:06:31,708
Stupid coffee machine!
181
00:06:31,710 --> 00:06:33,208
It's impossible to figure out!
182
00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:34,680
We need goons!
183
00:06:35,780 --> 00:06:37,849
Well... well, I loosened it up.
184
00:06:37,850 --> 00:06:39,109
Can I ask you a serious question?
185
00:06:39,110 --> 00:06:40,149
Why are you so stupid?
186
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,088
Incredibly, Bane is right.
187
00:06:42,090 --> 00:06:44,649
Not about the coffee
maker, but we need goons!
188
00:06:44,650 --> 00:06:46,459
Now they all think they're us.
189
00:06:46,460 --> 00:06:48,231
If everyone's a villain, then no one is.
190
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:49,929
And we need to get them back in line.
191
00:06:49,930 --> 00:06:51,828
We need structure. Right fellas?
192
00:06:51,830 --> 00:06:53,299
We can't run organized crime...
193
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Uh... I'm not in organized crime.
194
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I'm actually trying to find a cure
195
00:06:56,770 --> 00:06:58,698
for my wife's terminal illness.
196
00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:00,038
And how are you funding that?
197
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,918
Uh. Through organized crime.
198
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:06,306
Exactly... which we can't do with
Harley leading this insurrection!
199
00:07:06,308 --> 00:07:09,578
We need to get her on board
and get our goons back!
200
00:07:09,580 --> 00:07:12,218
Uh... one note, one small note.
201
00:07:12,220 --> 00:07:14,618
Maybe we should have
invited her to this?
202
00:07:14,620 --> 00:07:16,420
- What?
- Shut it, Bane.
203
00:07:20,590 --> 00:07:21,890
[RUMBLING]
204
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,130
Come on, come on. I know
you're out there, buddy.
205
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,150
[THUNDERCLAP]
206
00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:34,940
[GRUNTS]
207
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,047
Robin?
208
00:07:37,049 --> 00:07:40,038
No! This is the Bat-Signal,
not the Robin-Signal.
209
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:41,578
Get out of here! Shoo, shoo!
210
00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:43,049
Will you stop shooing me!
211
00:07:43,050 --> 00:07:44,078
Batman is missing.
212
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:45,319
[DRAMATIC GASP] What?
213
00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:47,119
He was in the Joker
Tower when it fell...
214
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:48,919
And I haven't heard from him since.
215
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:49,949
Oh, my God!
216
00:07:49,950 --> 00:07:51,018
Did you try texting him?
217
00:07:51,020 --> 00:07:53,018
Of course I tried texting him.
218
00:07:53,020 --> 00:07:54,912
- What am I, 40?
- Course! Could...
219
00:07:54,914 --> 00:07:56,506
you share that contact info with me?
220
00:07:56,508 --> 00:07:58,229
[HESITANTLY] Yeah.
He wouldn't like that.
221
00:07:58,230 --> 00:08:00,858
Plus that would mean
you have my info, too.
222
00:08:00,860 --> 00:08:02,728
C'mon! The city's falling apart!
223
00:08:02,730 --> 00:08:05,238
- We need Batman, damn it!
- Whoa, whoa...
224
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:06,240
He's gone.
225
00:08:06,241 --> 00:08:07,321
Which is why I'm here.
226
00:08:07,323 --> 00:08:09,638
'Cause I'm ready to take up the mantle.
227
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:11,168
[SNARLS] I'm Batman.
228
00:08:11,170 --> 00:08:12,278
[BLECH]
229
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,110
[GRUNTS]
230
00:08:16,110 --> 00:08:17,679
Ow! That's thick plastic!
231
00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:18,778
Slipped.
232
00:08:18,780 --> 00:08:20,049
Can you just toss that back?
233
00:08:20,050 --> 00:08:21,610
- There's a little left in it.
- [GRUNT]
234
00:08:22,790 --> 00:08:23,990
Where are you, Batman?
235
00:08:27,290 --> 00:08:28,888
[SQUEAKING]
236
00:08:28,890 --> 00:08:30,688
[KING SHARK] Oh, come
on. Let me pet you!
237
00:08:30,690 --> 00:08:32,088
I want to teach you love.
238
00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:34,198
Hey Takashi, you're gonna freak!
239
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,599
I got the last fresh ginger in Gotham
240
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:37,669
just like you asked!
241
00:08:37,670 --> 00:08:39,038
[EXCITEDLY] Ginger!
242
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:40,098
Hip, hip, hooray!
243
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:41,669
Holy shit!
244
00:08:41,670 --> 00:08:43,708
It's about time, what took you so long?
245
00:08:43,710 --> 00:08:45,638
Hey, you know, it's pretty
rough out there, okay?
246
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:48,138
I had to fight five new
question-based villains.
247
00:08:48,140 --> 00:08:49,601
Uh... [CLEARS THROAT]
248
00:08:49,603 --> 00:08:50,709
Harley, a word.
249
00:08:50,710 --> 00:08:52,179
Is it "congratulations"?
250
00:08:52,180 --> 00:08:54,878
I stopped all the villains
by liberating the goons.
251
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,148
Harls, this was your
chance to control the city,
252
00:08:57,150 --> 00:09:00,888
but now instead of like five big
assholes trying to run Gotham,
253
00:09:00,890 --> 00:09:03,328
we've got a thousand little
assholes to deal with.
254
00:09:03,330 --> 00:09:04,958
Ugh, you worry too much, Ive.
255
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:06,236
Um...
256
00:09:06,238 --> 00:09:08,829
You know, I think I'm worrying like
the perfect amount, to be honest.
257
00:09:08,830 --> 00:09:10,129
Thanks, Lou. What'd ya bring me?
258
00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:12,069
"Harley Quinn, you are cordially invited
259
00:09:12,070 --> 00:09:15,338
to attend the inaugural meeting
of the Injustice League".
260
00:09:15,340 --> 00:09:17,668
What is the Injustice League?
261
00:09:17,670 --> 00:09:20,138
I believe it is a play
on "Justice League".
262
00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:23,248
Boy, will they have a juicy
lawsuit on their hands.
263
00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:26,078
Wonder woman is very
litigious. Trust me.
264
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:27,448
This is bullshit.
265
00:09:27,450 --> 00:09:29,332
The city's supposed to be chaos!
266
00:09:29,334 --> 00:09:31,325
You know, I'm trying to
be less of a know-it-all,
267
00:09:31,327 --> 00:09:32,858
so I'm just gonna go read.
268
00:09:32,860 --> 00:09:33,919
[EXCITEDLY] I can't, it's killing me,
269
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,358
I told you so! Okay,
270
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:36,428
[INHALES DEEPLY] Whoo!
271
00:09:36,430 --> 00:09:38,228
Now I'm going to go read.
272
00:09:38,230 --> 00:09:39,359
[HARLEY QUINN] Hey motherfuckers.
273
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,328
Look at that, gang's all here.
274
00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:42,909
Freeze, been a minute.
275
00:09:42,910 --> 00:09:45,629
Bane, good to see you on your
feet after the Legion went boom.
276
00:09:45,630 --> 00:09:50,109
Luckily I was away, dog sitting
for my Aunt Linda's girlfriend.
277
00:09:50,110 --> 00:09:52,280
- [SOFTLY] We're very supportive.
- Aw, that's nice.
278
00:09:52,281 --> 00:09:53,569
So, what's the deal?
279
00:09:53,570 --> 00:09:56,279
You guys get invites to this
Injustice League dealio too?
280
00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,878
- Actually, Harley...
- [OMINOUS INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
281
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,178
Tada!
282
00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:03,718
Wait, wait. You guys
are the Injustice League?
283
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,759
We had time to get a banner made,
284
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:08,918
but not enough to find
one more executive chair?
285
00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:10,388
Oh, again with the swivel chair.
286
00:10:10,390 --> 00:10:13,058
Your recklessness forced
us to band together
287
00:10:13,060 --> 00:10:15,168
to restore order in
the criminal underworld.
288
00:10:15,170 --> 00:10:16,829
There's gotta be a hierarchy.
289
00:10:16,830 --> 00:10:19,768
Exactly! It goes
supervillains, sidekicks,
290
00:10:19,770 --> 00:10:21,738
goons that went to
Harvard, and then goons.
291
00:10:21,740 --> 00:10:23,209
Okay. That's just the same old shit.
292
00:10:23,210 --> 00:10:25,039
I mean. This is a chance
to do something new.
293
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,138
Much gratitude for the segue.
294
00:10:27,140 --> 00:10:29,008
Feast your eyes on new...
295
00:10:29,010 --> 00:10:30,148
New Gotham.
296
00:10:30,150 --> 00:10:31,350
Hmm?
297
00:10:32,780 --> 00:10:34,518
Not. Interested.
298
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:36,078
[EXCLAIMS] Whoa. Hey!
299
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:37,918
Where did this map come from?
300
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:40,318
I'm still on a goddamn folding chair.
301
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:41,789
Jesus, Bane.
302
00:10:41,790 --> 00:10:43,089
we all thought it would be funny
303
00:10:43,090 --> 00:10:44,459
if we gave you a folding chair...
304
00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:45,829
- ... and we were right!
- [TWO-FACE LAUGHS]
305
00:10:45,830 --> 00:10:47,898
Oh, I see your joke now.
306
00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:49,329
Your...
307
00:10:49,330 --> 00:10:51,468
jest will be avenged.
308
00:10:51,470 --> 00:10:52,798
[UNINTERESTED] Anyway...
309
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,219
we've divided up Gotham.
310
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:58,138
Each of us will control a territory
where we make our own rules.
311
00:10:58,140 --> 00:11:01,238
Which you could have seen
if we still had the map.
312
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,348
Guess which part was gonna yours?
313
00:11:03,350 --> 00:11:05,808
Hint, the bad part. [LAUGHS]
314
00:11:05,810 --> 00:11:08,988
I took out Joker, so I make the rules.
315
00:11:08,990 --> 00:11:10,488
And this shit won't fly.
316
00:11:10,490 --> 00:11:14,990
- It ain't happening.
- Told ya.
317
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,069
[HARLEY QUINN] Ivy, are you there?
318
00:11:22,070 --> 00:11:23,070
Can you hear me?
319
00:11:23,070 --> 00:11:24,070
Where am I?
320
00:11:24,071 --> 00:11:25,328
Riddle me this...
321
00:11:25,330 --> 00:11:27,939
Who's the biggest fool of all?
322
00:11:27,940 --> 00:11:31,808
You! For wasting your
only chance to rule Gotham.
323
00:11:31,810 --> 00:11:33,908
[CACKLES]
324
00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:36,848
If you'd just played the game, you
wouldn't have ended up like this.
325
00:11:36,850 --> 00:11:38,148
[LAUGHS]
326
00:11:38,150 --> 00:11:40,348
You did this to yourself.
327
00:11:40,350 --> 00:11:42,890
[MUMBLING]
328
00:11:45,950 --> 00:11:47,919
You'll never be one of us.
329
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:51,028
You're just a sad, pathetic clown.
330
00:11:51,030 --> 00:11:54,498
[ALL LAUGHING]
331
00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:56,500
[SCREAMING]
332
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:00,300
[GRUNT]
333
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,300
[GROANS]
334
00:12:02,170 --> 00:12:03,508
[GUN FIRING]
335
00:12:03,510 --> 00:12:05,408
We're getting destroyed out there, men!
336
00:12:05,410 --> 00:12:06,410
And Cheryl. [SIGHS]
337
00:12:06,411 --> 00:12:08,478
I know it seems like
the bad guys have won,
338
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,548
but I'm here to tell you they haven't.
339
00:12:10,550 --> 00:12:12,419
Batman's still out there.
340
00:12:12,420 --> 00:12:13,420
Somewhere.
341
00:12:16,550 --> 00:12:18,488
[EXHALES] I know things seem bleak.
342
00:12:18,490 --> 00:12:20,988
We're being hunted by
villains and citizens alike.
343
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:22,339
No food, no power.
344
00:12:22,340 --> 00:12:23,644
I mean, my God,
345
00:12:23,646 --> 00:12:26,454
there's only coconut flavored sparkling
water in the vending machines.
346
00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:29,498
Oh, Cheryl!
347
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,498
I kind of like it. [CHUCKLES]
348
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:33,568
America may have turned its back on us,
349
00:12:33,570 --> 00:12:35,138
and chaos fills the streets...
350
00:12:35,140 --> 00:12:37,238
we're still Gotham's finest.
351
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:42,579
We have a job to do, and God
damn it, we're gonna do it!
352
00:12:42,580 --> 00:12:44,219
[ALL CHEERING]
353
00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:47,318
Now you get out there and
you take back your town...
354
00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:50,889
- Our town...
- [GUN FIRES]
355
00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:52,888
I'm taking over this police department.
356
00:12:52,890 --> 00:12:55,418
Like cheeseballs you are!
You don't have the authority!
357
00:12:55,420 --> 00:12:56,689
[MEN GROANING]
358
00:12:56,690 --> 00:12:59,028
Anyone else itching to
get shot in their privates?
359
00:12:59,030 --> 00:13:00,298
[MOANING]
360
00:13:00,300 --> 00:13:01,859
Hey... guys...
361
00:13:01,860 --> 00:13:02,899
[CHUCKLES]
362
00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:03,998
All right, Gordon,
363
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,498
I'm a fair guy.
364
00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:08,608
Heads you live and we'll
call it time served.
365
00:13:08,610 --> 00:13:09,968
Tails and we'll...
366
00:13:09,970 --> 00:13:11,340
- [SCREAMS]
- [GUN FIRES]
367
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:15,678
[GASPING]
368
00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:17,378
You won't get away with this, Dent.
369
00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:18,518
I already have.
370
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:20,148
Give my love to Barb.
371
00:13:20,150 --> 00:13:21,448
I'll be back.
372
00:13:21,450 --> 00:13:24,418
And I'm bringing the Batman with me!
373
00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:27,588
Ugh. Jesus Christ, coconut.
374
00:13:27,590 --> 00:13:30,128
♪ You're a cop, you're damn good cop ♪
375
00:13:30,130 --> 00:13:32,028
♪ Saving the city with Batman ya ♪
376
00:13:32,030 --> 00:13:33,498
♪ Ain't gonna stop ♪
377
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:34,698
♪ You're a cop, cop, cop ♪
378
00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:36,628
♪ You're a damn-good-cop! ♪
379
00:13:36,630 --> 00:13:38,730
Bah, bah, bah!
380
00:13:42,340 --> 00:13:44,590
[TIRES SCREECH]
381
00:13:54,950 --> 00:13:57,220
Come on and get me, you crazy fucks!
382
00:13:59,390 --> 00:14:01,218
Ben? And Cheryl?
383
00:14:01,220 --> 00:14:02,490
On your knees, Jimbo!
384
00:14:04,530 --> 00:14:06,228
The hell do you think you're...
385
00:14:06,230 --> 00:14:07,358
Why would you do this?
386
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:09,469
You're cops.
387
00:14:09,470 --> 00:14:11,528
There ain't no cops no more, old man.
388
00:14:11,530 --> 00:14:13,138
We're Bane boys now.
389
00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:15,468
Things change quick
on these mean streets.
390
00:14:15,470 --> 00:14:16,470
[GROANS]
391
00:14:16,471 --> 00:14:19,620
[CHUCKLES] Let's jet!
392
00:14:36,730 --> 00:14:39,598
[DEJECTED] You're a damn good...
393
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:42,300
[SOBS] ... nothing.
394
00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,070
[MUSIC BLARING]
395
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,380
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
396
00:14:56,210 --> 00:14:57,578
Hey, Mr. Penguin!
397
00:14:57,580 --> 00:14:59,448
Good to see you, Mr. Penguin!
398
00:14:59,450 --> 00:15:01,248
How ya doing tonight, Mr. Penguin?
399
00:15:01,250 --> 00:15:03,078
Fine, fine.
400
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:04,248
[WOMAN GIGGLES]
401
00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:06,558
Hey. Sex upstairs later?
402
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,218
[LAUGHS]
403
00:15:08,220 --> 00:15:10,358
Oh. It's good to be the Penguin.
404
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,328
Mr. Penguin, good to see yo...
405
00:15:12,330 --> 00:15:13,799
- [GROANS]
- Okay, that's too many people
406
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,698
saying hello to me.
It feels disingenuous.
407
00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:16,729
Ahhh...
408
00:15:16,730 --> 00:15:19,098
I actually meant it...
409
00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:20,100
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
410
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,438
Why so blue, Harley? [LAUGHS]
411
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:26,338
It's a party for Christ's sake!
412
00:15:26,340 --> 00:15:27,808
[CACKLES]
413
00:15:27,810 --> 00:15:29,338
Monsieur Penguin,
414
00:15:29,340 --> 00:15:31,048
uh, what can I get for you?
415
00:15:31,050 --> 00:15:32,308
Where's Jeffrey?
416
00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:33,989
[NERVOUSLY] You kil... killed him?
417
00:15:33,991 --> 00:15:35,578
Oh, that does sound like me.
418
00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:38,718
Would you like some champagne?
419
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:43,328
To celebrate your taking back the city?
420
00:15:43,330 --> 00:15:48,198
Perhaps make a little toast
to your magnificent self?
421
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:49,528
Mmm, why not!
422
00:15:49,530 --> 00:15:50,698
[MUMBLING]
423
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,768
The bird has taken the worm.
424
00:15:52,770 --> 00:15:54,339
- Tweet, tweet.
- [KING SHARK] Tweet, tweet.
425
00:15:54,340 --> 00:15:55,668
- I'm here.
- [CLAYFACE] And?
426
00:15:55,670 --> 00:15:57,238
And I'm not saying "tweet, tweet".
427
00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:58,668
She said it! [LAUGHS]
428
00:15:58,670 --> 00:16:00,208
[SY] But one birdie left...
429
00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:01,509
Tweet, tweet, baby.
430
00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:02,539
We're ready.
431
00:16:02,540 --> 00:16:04,148
Let's hatch this egg.
432
00:16:04,150 --> 00:16:06,278
Ladies and gentlemen!
433
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,178
We're killing it.
434
00:16:08,180 --> 00:16:10,118
We put down the goon rebellion
435
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,418
and they're thanking us for it.
436
00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:14,358
We carved up the city
437
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:16,588
and they're thanking us for it. [LAUGHS]
438
00:16:16,590 --> 00:16:17,658
Sy, smoke, smoke!
439
00:16:17,660 --> 00:16:20,228
Right! On it. [CLICKS]
440
00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:22,558
So I'd just like to raise a glass and...
441
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:23,991
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
442
00:16:23,993 --> 00:16:25,828
You back there, sit down. I'm talking.
443
00:16:25,830 --> 00:16:27,438
[CLAYFACE OVER PHONE] Stall Sy, stall.
444
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,338
- [PENGUIN] As I was saying...
- Eh... Uh...
445
00:16:29,340 --> 00:16:31,468
Hey, excuse me!
446
00:16:31,470 --> 00:16:33,778
- We got a birthday boy tonight.
- What?
447
00:16:33,780 --> 00:16:35,538
And a one... And a two.
448
00:16:35,540 --> 00:16:38,648
- [PLAYS PIANO]
- ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪
449
00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:41,548
[POISON IVY] Okay Psycho, nice and easy.
450
00:16:41,550 --> 00:16:43,648
- [SY CONTINUES SINGING]
- Easy! Careful. Careful!
451
00:16:43,650 --> 00:16:45,389
[SY] ♪ Happy birthday dear... ♪
452
00:16:45,390 --> 00:16:46,419
♪ ... Penguin! ♪
453
00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:47,519
Can I call you Penguin?
454
00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:48,589
♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪
455
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:50,328
All right guys, let's go.
456
00:16:50,330 --> 00:16:51,388
It's not my birthday.
457
00:16:51,390 --> 00:16:53,658
♪ And many more! ♪
458
00:16:53,660 --> 00:16:55,898
I said it's not my birthday.
459
00:16:55,900 --> 00:16:58,298
And can we lighten up on the damn smoke?
460
00:16:58,300 --> 00:16:59,668
As I was saying...
461
00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:00,699
thanks to me,
462
00:17:00,700 --> 00:17:01,791
and of course
463
00:17:01,793 --> 00:17:04,138
everyone's favorite ice sculpture,
464
00:17:04,140 --> 00:17:05,238
Harley Quinn.
465
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:06,240
[CROWD GASPS]
466
00:17:09,340 --> 00:17:12,519
Stop them!
467
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,248
All right, we gotta make this
extraction as gentle as possible.
468
00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:18,348
Okay. We can't rattle her because
her life is in the balance, okay.
469
00:17:18,350 --> 00:17:19,618
Ahhh! [GROANS]
470
00:17:19,620 --> 00:17:20,718
Look what you made me do.
471
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:23,029
Okay, this is not a good start.
472
00:17:26,660 --> 00:17:29,099
[SCREAMING]
473
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:31,498
- [HAPPILY] Oh, hey, Ive.
- Harls! Hi. You okay?
474
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:32,768
How are you feeling?
475
00:17:32,770 --> 00:17:35,838
[YELLS] Get me the fuck outta this!
476
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,408
Everybody stand back!
477
00:17:38,410 --> 00:17:39,538
Hit it, Sy.
478
00:17:39,540 --> 00:17:40,578
- [GRUNT]
- [TIRES SCREECH]
479
00:17:40,580 --> 00:17:41,780
[LAUGHS]
480
00:17:46,780 --> 00:17:48,278
- [GRUNT]
- [GROANS]
481
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:49,986
Have at me!
482
00:17:52,820 --> 00:17:55,188
Somebody free my swinging arm!
483
00:17:55,190 --> 00:17:57,590
Fire finger, flame begin!
484
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:02,300
- Ha! [GRUNT]
- [GROANING]
485
00:18:04,230 --> 00:18:06,199
[MEN SCREAMING]
486
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,499
[HARLEY QUINN] Sweep the leg Johnny!
487
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:09,668
[CACKLES]
488
00:18:09,670 --> 00:18:14,670
- [MEN GROANING]
- [HARLEY QUINN LAUGHS]
489
00:18:15,810 --> 00:18:16,978
[GRUNT]
490
00:18:16,980 --> 00:18:18,348
- [SCREAMING]
- [GUN FIRING]
491
00:18:18,350 --> 00:18:19,350
[GROANS]
492
00:18:21,820 --> 00:18:23,190
[ICE SCREECHING]
493
00:18:26,220 --> 00:18:27,358
Harley...
494
00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:28,360
I always thought
495
00:18:28,361 --> 00:18:29,759
- you were a sidekick.
- [STRUGGLING]
496
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,558
A goon with a name.
497
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:32,758
But I was wrong.
498
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:33,800
[GRUNT]
499
00:18:34,830 --> 00:18:35,830
Asshole.
500
00:18:35,831 --> 00:18:37,368
You're a mistake.
501
00:18:37,370 --> 00:18:38,521
A mutation.
502
00:18:38,523 --> 00:18:41,498
Thankfully, nature has
graced us with a solution
503
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:45,308
to the Harley Quinn problem,
survival of the fittest.
504
00:18:45,310 --> 00:18:46,310
[GROANS]
505
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,778
[SOBBING] My beautiful nose!
506
00:18:50,780 --> 00:18:52,608
- [SCREAMS]
- [GRUNTS]
507
00:18:52,610 --> 00:18:53,720
[LAUGHS]
508
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:55,846
Without your bat,
509
00:18:55,848 --> 00:18:58,288
you're just a defrosted gymnast!
510
00:18:58,290 --> 00:18:59,858
Eat grenades, Harley!
511
00:18:59,860 --> 00:19:00,988
Take that!
512
00:19:00,990 --> 00:19:02,560
- [LAUGHS]
- [GRUNTING]
513
00:19:05,830 --> 00:19:08,598
I knew we should have
killed you from the start...
514
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:10,728
[HARLEY QUINN] Yeah, you really blew it.
515
00:19:10,730 --> 00:19:11,898
Over here.
516
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,668
No stupid, over here!
517
00:19:13,670 --> 00:19:16,738
Oh, sorry you missed me, fucking idiot.
518
00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:17,768
Over here.
519
00:19:17,770 --> 00:19:18,938
No. Oops!
520
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:20,308
- No. Wrong way.
- [EXCLAIMS]
521
00:19:20,310 --> 00:19:22,408
Oh, you're so fucking stupid.
522
00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:23,610
[SIGHS IN RELIEF]
523
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:25,548
[MOANING]
524
00:19:25,550 --> 00:19:26,580
[GURGLING]
525
00:19:30,290 --> 00:19:31,290
[MEN GROAN]
526
00:19:31,291 --> 00:19:33,319
Hey Harley, are you... Ooh, yikes.
527
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:35,488
It's about to get way more "yikes".
528
00:19:35,490 --> 00:19:36,728
Ahhh!
529
00:19:36,730 --> 00:19:38,028
[DEATH SIGH]
530
00:19:38,030 --> 00:19:41,018
Yeah, that was definitely more "yikes".
531
00:19:41,020 --> 00:19:42,798
Can we go get coffee?
532
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,510
Oh. Uh...
533
00:19:45,430 --> 00:19:47,498
I let the emotions get
the best of me earlier.
534
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:48,668
This is a minor setback.
535
00:19:48,670 --> 00:19:50,219
Here's what we're gonna do.
536
00:19:50,220 --> 00:19:52,309
Go to your brother's house,
get his old scuba gear,
537
00:19:52,310 --> 00:19:54,378
we fish my badge out of Gotham Harbor.
538
00:19:54,380 --> 00:19:59,349
Then, this right here...
the new GCPD headquarters.
539
00:19:59,350 --> 00:20:00,442
That's right.
540
00:20:00,444 --> 00:20:02,889
I'm still commissioner.
I'll start a new department.
541
00:20:02,890 --> 00:20:05,318
I can deputize you right now, Barbara.
542
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:06,988
We'll clean up this city together...
543
00:20:06,990 --> 00:20:10,928
husband and wife cops.
An unbreakable bond.
544
00:20:10,930 --> 00:20:12,107
[BARBARA] I want a divorce.
545
00:20:12,109 --> 00:20:13,798
[CLAPS]
546
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:14,970
It's all hopeless.
547
00:20:18,430 --> 00:20:20,698
Where are you, Batman?
548
00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:23,038
They put me on ice and an hour later
549
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,068
the goons crawl back to the bosses?
550
00:20:25,070 --> 00:20:27,908
Harley, this might
come as a shock to you,
551
00:20:27,910 --> 00:20:30,708
so I wanna... I want to say
it as delicately as I can...
552
00:20:30,710 --> 00:20:32,548
You've been iced for two months!
553
00:20:32,550 --> 00:20:34,118
- Two months?
- Nice work, Clay.
554
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:35,918
Um... Well, we've been we've been trying
555
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,418
to break you out the whole time.
556
00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:38,818
And hell, I got shot twice.
557
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:40,018
I never got shot,
558
00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:41,658
but I did put a lot of
559
00:20:41,660 --> 00:20:44,758
personal projects aside
trying to save you.
560
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:46,049
I never realized
561
00:20:46,050 --> 00:20:48,300
how much we relied on
your leadership before.
562
00:20:48,302 --> 00:20:49,698
I mean, I don't want to say
563
00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:51,898
things were a disaster in your absence,
564
00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:53,998
but they weren't not a disaster.
565
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,638
In fact, things got so dire
566
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,038
we finally got desperate enough
567
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,568
to try the talking block
of mud's stupid plan.
568
00:20:59,570 --> 00:21:01,679
Which was a rousing success!
569
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:02,979
Thank you very much. [CHUCKLES]
570
00:21:02,980 --> 00:21:04,948
You see, usually penguin only hires
571
00:21:04,950 --> 00:21:06,818
the most distinguished waiters.
572
00:21:06,820 --> 00:21:08,078
Which is why I had to develop
573
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:09,718
my Francois character.
574
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:11,419
[ENTHUSIASTICALLY] He was born...
575
00:21:11,420 --> 00:21:12,488
to a scullery maid...
576
00:21:12,490 --> 00:21:13,642
Okay, thank you!
577
00:21:13,644 --> 00:21:15,659
So, in the last two
months, did I miss anything
578
00:21:15,660 --> 00:21:17,928
other than Clayface's
long-winded backstories?
579
00:21:17,930 --> 00:21:19,260
Harley, just come with me.
580
00:21:20,830 --> 00:21:22,780
[DOOR CREAKS]
581
00:21:25,940 --> 00:21:28,638
So after the goons fell back in line,
582
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,468
the Injustice League carved up the city.
583
00:21:31,470 --> 00:21:33,438
They call it new New Gotham.
584
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,814
Which is... I mean, I can't even...
585
00:21:39,580 --> 00:21:41,419
[TWO-FACE] If you just played the game
586
00:21:41,420 --> 00:21:43,019
you wouldn't have ended
up like this. [LAUGHS]
587
00:21:43,020 --> 00:21:45,088
[MR. FREEZE] You did this to yourself.
588
00:21:45,090 --> 00:21:47,818
[BANE MUMBLING]
589
00:21:47,820 --> 00:21:50,059
[RIDDLER] Who's the biggest fool of all?
590
00:21:50,060 --> 00:21:51,060
You!
591
00:21:52,930 --> 00:21:54,628
You were right all along, Ive.
592
00:21:54,630 --> 00:21:56,828
I shoulda taken control from the start.
593
00:21:56,830 --> 00:21:59,898
Riddler, Two-Face, Freeze, Bane.
594
00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:02,098
I'm taking 'em all down.
595
00:22:02,100 --> 00:22:03,168
And when I'm done,
596
00:22:03,170 --> 00:22:05,508
Gotham is gonna be...
597
00:22:05,510 --> 00:22:06,708
mine!
598
00:22:06,710 --> 00:22:09,038
[THUNDERCLAP]
599
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,708
[POISON IVY] Cool.
600
00:22:11,710 --> 00:22:13,919
[MALE NURSE] Yeah. We pulled him from
the Joker Tower rubble months ago.
601
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:15,148
He's been in a coma ever since.
602
00:22:15,150 --> 00:22:16,748
The swelling should've gone down.
603
00:22:16,750 --> 00:22:18,618
Let me just...
604
00:22:18,620 --> 00:22:19,918
- Oh, my God.
- [GASPS]
605
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:21,460
It's... Bruce Wayne.
606
00:22:23,530 --> 00:22:24,690
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
41576
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